Women Suck

by Spikedluv


“I get this chip out...”

“I know,” Xander interrupted. “You’ll kill us all. And I’m first on your list. I’ve heard it all before. Christ, my head is killing me,” he muttered. “And I’m giving up on women. No more women for Xander. Who needs ‘em, anyway? Well,” he added after a moment, “except for sex.”

“Don’t need ‘em for that, either,” Spike commented from beside him, and Xander jumped.

“Jesus!” he swore, grabbing at his chest. “Make a noise, would ya? And, yeah, ya do. I mean, after a while, the hand just ain’t gonna cut it. And I can’t believe I just said that. I have definitely had too much to drink.”

“Wasn’t suggesting you take care of it yourself, Harris. Just...maybe you should start batting for the other team,” Spike said.

“What?” Xander stopped walking and stared at the blond.

“If girls don’t seem to be workin’ for ya...”

“Girls work just fine for me!” Xander insisted, as his face got red with anger, and not a little embarrassment.

“Not what you’ve been saying all night,” Spike reminded him. “Women suck,” he said in a high pitched voice. “I’m a demon magnet.”

“Shut. Up.”

“I’m just saying, maybe a guy would rev your engine. And stick around, like,” Spike tried to explain.

“I. Do. Not. Like. Men.”

“How d’ya know?” Spike asked.

“What?” Xander yelled, shaking his head in amazement at the turn the conversation had taken.

“Have you tried it?”

“No, I haven’t tried it! I like girls!” Xander continued in his ‘outdoor voice’.

“Don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it, pet,” Spike said nonchalantly, and then turned and continued walking.

Xander stared after him. “And you have, I suppose?” he called.

Spike just twisted his head around and smirked.

“You have not!” Xander said.

Spike began to whistle.

“Spike!” When the vampire ignored him, Xander ran to catch up. Just as he reached him, Spike turned and grabbed him, shoving him across the grass and up against the wrought iron fence surrounding the cemetery they were passing.

“I could show ya,” he offered. Xander looked into eyes black with desire.

“Wha-what’re you doing?” Xander asked.

“Fightin’ gets the blood pumpin’,” Spike said, pressing his groin against Xander’s.

Xander’s eyes widened when Spike’s erection pressed into him; when he realized what Spike was talking about, what he was offering to show him. “I don’t think...”

“No need to think, Xan-der,” Spike purred, drawing Xander’s name out. “Just feel,” he whispered in Xander’s ear, as he moved his hips seductively, rubbing his hard flesh over Xander.

“Spike...,” Xander began, placing his hands against Spike’s chest to push him back. When he encountered the firm flesh his fingers automatically closed, digging into the hard muscles. He felt Spike’s nipples harden beneath his palms.

“Spike, this is...,” Xander tried again. Spike ignored his words. He turned Xander around and pressed him against the fence. His hand slipped between the iron railings and around Xander’s body, and he began to rub his hand over Xander’s stomach, and then lower, his other hand braced on Xander’s hip.

“When you’re hot and hard,” Spike continued softly, unnecessary breath tickling Xander’s ear, “it doesn’t matter whose hand is stroking you, pulling you.”

Xander wanted to tell Spike to stop. He wanted to push him off him. Spike had the stupid chip, so he couldn’t hurt Xander. Instead, he felt himself push back against the hard column of flesh that was pressing into his ass, tilt his head to the side so Spike’s lips could brush his neck, and groan when Spike’s fingers began to unbutton his jeans.

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