Sour Revenge

by Flufshepherd


Xander looked up at Spike in horror as he brought his hand up to his lips. No... nuh-uh... This. Is. Not. Happening. As if he didn't have enough to handle with the universe trying to tell him he was gay, now he had to deal with Spike being his soul mate? But, Spike didn't even have a soul! "Fuck..."

Giles looked around the empty club from his position on the floor. "Xander? What...," he trailed off, trying to understand the events from the past few hours. He'd been speaking to Buffy about their situation with Angelus and then Xander came in and he... oh lord. Then Xander left... came back... said something... something about... "A spell?! I can't believe you're fool enough to do something like that!"

"Oh, no, I'm twice the fool it takes to do something like this, but that's not really the biggest of our problems here, G." Xander jerked his head towards Spike, giving Giles the universal signal of 'angry vampire that-a-way.'

Giles looked up at an impatient and annoyed Spike, but paid no mind as he turned back to Xander. "I am so disappointed in you, do you know that?"

"Right, Watcher, you're disappointed in him, I don't care," Spike said. Then, turning to Xander he continued, "So, you did a spell, did you? Judging by Mr. Dazed and Confused over here, you didn't just affect me, did you?" Xander shook his head no. "Well, I don't exactly give a rat's ass how many people you affected, because most importantly, you somehow made me king of the nancy boys."

Spike walked over to Xander and lifted him up off the floor. "I don't feel like playing twenty bloody questions, mate, so I strongly suggest you answer this next question carefully." Spike paused, waiting for Xander to nod or show he understood. When he was rewarded with a twitch of the head that could pass for a nod, he asked, "Exactly what kind of spell did you do to me?"

"I didn't just do it to you. I did it to-"

"Clearly, you weren't paying attention when I said I don't give a buggering fuck or when I said you should answer carefully," Spike interrupted. "Now one more try."

Xander swallowed nervously. "It was, uhm, a lovespelltotheGoddessDiana."

"A love spell!" Spike threw his head up, laughing. "I should have known!" Then, distracted, he asked, "Oh, did you do the one with the essence of toad or the candles? Because, I find that essence of toad works better when you want to be more specific and the candle one can only be broken by true love's kiss and that's just hell in a bread basket, if you ask me."

Xander looked at Spike in confusion. From behind him, Giles had the exact same expression on his own face. "I, uh, did the candle one."

"The candle one?!" Spike shouted, appalled. "The one where you get a bunch of stupid bints throwing themselves at you until you kiss the girl of your dreams? That one?!"

Xander was surprised at Spike's knowledge of the magicks, but he was even more afraid that Spike was figuring out that they were 'soul mates'. Or at least that some Goddess thought so. "Spike, I know that this isn't exactly good news for you. I'm taking it hard, myself, but there's been a mistake. What you're thinking... it's not true. It can't be, alright?"

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