Xander On The Menu


Why He Did It

No one, not the slayer, not the books, not his 1000-year-old demon honey, NO ONE could remember seeing a vampire bearing that many bruises. No one had seen anyone (sorry, any VAMPIRE) walking around with that much damage.

Because there wasn't any point, right? If you wanted a vampire dead, you put wood through his heart = dust. Or you could cut his head off, and THEN = dust. But if you broke all his bones, punctured a few vital organs, well......what then?

They were all glad the real Buffy was back. They were all glad Dawn was (for a while) safe from Glory. They were all making dirty jokes about the robot.

They were all pretending that the world wasn't getting weirder by the hour -- that Dawn was just a regular (if really moody) teenager, and Joyce was still alive and providing hot coco, and their enemy was only a type of demon and not a God.

It was that -- the fact that they were all So Busily Pretending that spurred Xander on to action.

Life kept getting weirder, the world was probably ending, and Xander decided to bring a thank-you present to Spike.

The practical kind -- the kind that might keep him from dying from his wounds and waking up dust. While Xander had been right behind Buffy on the "Find Spike and Kill Him" run, the actual idea of Spike REALLY being dead was just disturbing. Joyce had blown his mind by leaving and never coming back. Spike; scarred-eyebrow, head-tilting, devil-may-care-oh-wait-I-AM-the-devil attitude....... Spike COULD have been dead.

Spike could actually be dying in a cemetery somewhere.....
......and suddenly, in the Life Getting-Weird World, Xander providing Spike with human blood seemed perfectly sane.

It was Sunday night. If Spike was still alive Monday night, Xander would give him a "thank you" present.

Taking two sizeable bags of human blood away from Sunnydale hospital was a lot easier than a person would think -- provided, of course, it was during the day, you flirted heavily with the old nurse in the second floor and you were willing to fork out a LOT of hundred dollar bills. (But who needs a savings account when the world is about to end?) Armed with the snack (hopefully two bags was enough, but Xander couldn't afford more) of O Negative (do vampires have a preference?) Xander walked up to the Vampire's crypt as soon as the sun went down.

And took a deep breath. And started to knock. Then stopped and took ANOTHER deep breath, and then told himself he was being retarded and finally got up the courage TO knock. (Why was this so much easier when you're pissed?)

There was no Spike above, so Xander looked below. There, in the icy ground, by the light of a single candle he found a nearly naked Spike, wearing the same black pants as the day before and......a large slab of what might have been steak.

Xander stood at the side of Spike's bed, looking at the meat in confusion.

Then he turned to light more candles. The Vampire woke, but Xander ignored his questions until the room was better lit. Finally he turned to ask (in a clever, sarcastic, humorous way) about the slab of steak on Spike's chest....

....the sight of the Vampire in the candlelight took his breath away. The bruises they had seen on that day were only the beginning. More had formed, and they were gruesome. The huge puncture wound above his nipple hadn't scabbed over at all -- it looked as fresh as if it had occurred an hour ago. The right side of the Vampire's bare chest sported an ugly, multi-colored bruise the size of Xander's hand.

But said Vampire was still looking at him for an explanation, so Xander puffed up his chest and said the line he had planned to start with......

"I just need to know one thing. Did you do this for Dawn? Or was this all to impress Buffy?" (As if it mattered? The money was spent. He had already Seen Spike. And not to mention -- Life was Weird.)

Spike looked away in disgust, and for a moment, it appeared that he wasn't going to answer. Finally, he said "I did it for Joyce."

Xander opened his mouth, but what was supposed to come out, who could tell?

"I did it" Spike wheezed (and his voice was frightenly weak) "because Joyce shouldn't have died like that. It wasn't right that her Little Bit should die too. And I did it for Little Bit, I guess. Couldn't bare the thought of ...... and Buffy. Buffy couldn't bare it, either."

Xander was sure there had been something else he had planned to say, something clever and biting, but it was gone now. Spike, it seemed, had also noticed how Weird the World was getting. So Xander was content to put the paper bag on the bed and bring out the two small bags of blood.

"What's this?" Spike gasped.

"A thank-you gift."

"It's human?!?" Spike managed, trying to rise, but failing.

"Yes, I went to a lot of trouble to get it and what is wrong with you? Why are you wheezing...I thought vampires didn't have to breathe."

"Speaking" he whispered again (and it was chilling to hear him sound so weak) "Requires air, love. Air ..... requires lungs. This one," he pointed to his bruised right side, "Still working. This one" and here he removed the slab of meat, "quit yesterday."

Xander blanched at the sight, almost turning away in disgust. The large bruise on Spike's right side looked minor compared to the gruesome rainbow covering the left side of his pale body. Unhealthy purples and browns faded to downright black, and Xander fought off a wave of nausea. He was looking at flesh so damaged, even the demon animating the dead man couldn't keep it alive.

"But....." and now it was Xander that was whispering, "but you'll heal, right? You'll be all vampirical and magical and......better?"

Spike shook his head. "Not without human blood." Xander gestured weakly with the hospital bags. "Thanks, love. But healing blood......it has to be fresh. The heart.....still beating. This lady," he pointed to the first bag, "gave this lot up two weeks ago. 'Salready going bad. And this bloke," he gestured at the second bag "died last week."

"Well then, I'll just take them back," Xander managed, but his words were weak and without malice. Any sarcasm he could have mustered was lost. It had been lost in the almost audible whirling of his brain: Spike's sacrifice, Gods walking the earth, Vampires with gangrene, bags of blood telling their own personal stories......all in all, World Getting Weird.

He didn't wait for Spike to ask, he simply pulled out his pocket knife and cut a small corner of the plastic bag open, just as he had planned. (Holding the corner to Spike's lips he had not planned on, nor did he remember planning on Spike's hands trembling, clutching his own.)

But more than anything, he hadn't planned on the two tiny hospital bags full of blood disappearing so quickly, and seeming so very, very inadequate.

When they were emptied Spike looked no different, but he was propped up on his elbows, and speaking better. His eyes followed Xander as the man clumsily put the minuscule empty bags back into the paper sack (bags so small he was almost embarrassed to throw them away) and turned to figure out what to say next.

"You could make a donation, you know, just like those two blokes there. Just give me a little to help...." here Spike gestured at his wounded chest. "Just a little, you'll never miss it. Just go home and sleep it off and tomorrow you'll be fine."

Xander opened his mouth, but found he had no words. No words at all.

Were there some words in Latin, maybe, or Sanskrit or Greek for "The World's gotten so Damn Weird this actually makes sense?" He'd be sure to ask Giles someday. Instead, he shrugged off his jacket, tossed it aside, and started to unbutton the cuff of his sleeve.

"No, love. It'll leave a bruise....they'll see." Spike was sitting up on the edge of the bed, not whispering at all. He put his hands on Xander's hands like before, then looked up at the boy with sly eyes. "Just take off your shirt."

Part 2
The Bloodclaim

Having Spike suck his blood wasn't nearly as sensual experience as he had thought (not that he WANTED it to be sensual, and NOT that he had actually THOUGHT about it, no, not at ALL.) Having heard from Buffy and Anya about human ghouls, Vampire-groupies who let their vampires do these things on a regular basis, Xander expected SOMETHING more interesting than feeling Spike's mouth give him a slow, leisurely, VERY ineffective hickey.

Spike's HANDS, however, were a whole different story. As Xander lay on his back with the Vampire's naked, damaged (but still, naked!) body laying on top of his bare chest, the Vampire's cool lips attached to a wound he (well, they) had made just over Xander's right nipple, well, you'd THINK that Xander might be distracted by something OTHER than Spike's HANDS...but there it was. Cool hands on Xander's arms, on his back, almost lifting him up to drink from him as if from a holy grail ... fingers sometimes creeping up to the wound and caressing his chest, or sneaking up to brush his face or cup his cheek, then back to clutch his arms and draw him closer.

What do to with XANDER'S hands, however, was a big problem. He didn't want to be touching Spike's slim back or his muscled shoulders or (god forbid) holding the blond's head, while all the time murmuring....excuse me, NOT murmuring, SAYING VERY FRANKLY, "yes, Spike, yes."

Because he had to agree to the feeding.

More than once.

Otherwise (Spike said) the chip would engage and cause him terrible pain, thus Xander couldn't JUST say "I, Alexander Harris, 22 years of age and lifetime resident of Sunnydale California also known as Weirdworld, give you, William the Bloody, permission to suck my blood" only once. He had to (Spike insisted!) keep saying it over and over.

And so, for a good ten minutes or more, Xander lay in the vampire's bed (did I mention the World was getting Weird?) watching the crypt's walls flicker by the light of two guttering candles (Xander had blown all the rest out before working up the nerve to take his shirt off) letting Spike lay barechested on top of him, sucking at the small wound they had made together with Xander's pocket knife, saying (NOT murmuring!) "Yes, Spike, yes" and NOT putting his hands on Spike's back, arms, or head.

It was strange, awkward, and slightly boring.

So it was with little difficulty that Xander looked him in the eye when he raised his (still human?) head.

"Ow.....ow.......OW!" Xander protested as Spike placed two fingers on top of the wound and pressed down hard.

"Sorry, love, stopping the bleeding there."

"Why doesn't THAT set off your chip?"

"Because I'm HELPING you, love, even though it pinches......what?"

Xander was looking into Spike's face with gratitude -- the hideous purples and browns that had covered half of his face in a gruesome mask seemed to be fading.

"Nothing....I'm just surprised you're not a little more.....fangy."

"Doing that on purpose, love. Got to stay calm. So I can be gentle," the Vampire said with a grin that Xander could have done without. "Are we finished yet?" Xander whimpered, hiding behind clenched eyes, knowing the answer.

"Not yet, love. That was just the first bite. Now, comes the second. Hold on for the ride." Spike took Xander's hand, the one still holding his pocket knife, and guided it to a specific spot in the center of his chest. Guiding his fingers, Spike pushed down as he had the first time, so that it was Xander who actually made the cuts. Then, just as before, Spike waited, panting (as Xander focused on a corner of the ceiling and tried to remember why he had agreed to this!) as the blood flowed for a bit before he started.

It was the same motions as before, but something felt radically different now. Quite suddenly Xander could feel his heart hammering, and his chest growing strangely warm in the cold room, the tiny streams of blood unnaturally hot against his skin, his nipples painfully erect. His face was flushing furiously. "Something's wrong...Spike! Something's...."

"Let it happen, pet" Spike whispered before he dove in, lapping up the trickle of blood with a tongue that felt razor-sharp on the hot skin that caused Xander to cry out. Taking Spike's arms in his hands he tried to push the vampire away, but Spike's searingly cold mouth was locked onto his chest, and Spike's hands were planted on Xander's back, pulling Xander towards him fiercely. For several moments they fought like this, with Xander crying out in words that weren't exactly English....yet somehow Spike's chip didn't protest at all.

When it was over Spike pulled back, panting. "What the hell, what the HELL??" Xander gasped out as the vampire clutched at his bruised ribs, wincing slightly.

"It's the bloodclaim, love." he panted, speaking quickly. "Don't be afraid. It's supposed to feel good." He took his hands from his ribcage and pressed two fingers against Xander's wound to close it, then worked busily as Xander tried to hide his face beneath his arms, tried to catch his breath, tried to quiet his hammering heart. "The blood from a mortal heart" Spike told him, "...still beating. Can't you feel it? Your blood is in me now. Blood calls to blood, and it only get's better from here."

"Are you saying that WHOA!" Xander shouted when he realized that Spike had undone his belt, and his zipper, and was apparently in the process of pulling down his jeans.

"Relax, pet, just try to ... AHHHHHH!" Spike stopped and bent over, clutching his bruised ribs again, as if trying to hold them inside.

"What's wrong?"

"It's all right love," Spike gasped, eyes clenched. "It's your blood inside me. I can feel the bones mending."

"And that hurts?"

"It burns," Spike said. "Don't mind it." He opened his eyes again. Xander had stopped fighting for control of his jeans, and Spike took the advantage and hauled them down suddenly.

"'Sallright, 'sallright love" Spike soothed. His voice was calm but his hands were unmovable, holding Xander's jeans down just below the band of his boxers despite all of the boy's attempts to pull them back up. "It's almost over.....look, look! Here." Spike put two fingers right above the band of Xander's boxers to show him the last spot. When Xander relaxed for a second Spike found the pocket knife, put it in Xander's hand and positioned the blade before Xander had a chance to think. "This is the third bite," Spike whispered, and chills covered Xander's chest. His entire body seemed to pulse.

Spike grinned. "Now it gets really interesting."

Part 3
Exit Stage Left

All in all, Alexander Harris was sure that he had handled the third bite in a very manly fashion. If there had been moaning, or maybe calling out Spike's name, or possibly some clutching of Captain Peroxide's blond head and pressing it against his lower torso while Spike's strong hands lifted him up by his ass and drank as if his life depended on it, well, Xander was sure it had been very Manly Moaning. It was only when Xander realized that he had a pounding erection, and that the very tip of it was pounding against Spike's chin, and dear God, were Spike's hands actually on his ASS?? It was only then that Xander called the whole thing to a halt.

Scooting off of the bed and yanking up his pants with shaking hands and searching, shaking, for his shirt, Xander waited for the Vampire to say something snarky, but Spike was only laying on his back, panting. In the silence, Xander found himself babbling. "Ok, done, we're finished, that was your thankyou gift, no more bloodletting, or whatever you call it. Yes. Quite done now. Hope that's enough for your ribcage and all....yes, quite finished now. Thank you for taking a beating for Dawn, yes, quite finished now. I'll be going now, yes, thank you."

He heard a low chuckle and turned to see Spike smiling peacefully. The vampire reached out to brush fingers against Xander's chest, as he said "Put ice on those bruises when you get home, love. No one will notice, that way. Drink plenty of water and eat your green vegetables. If you get lots of rest you'll be just fine when you come back Sunday..."

"WHAT? No....NO coming back Sunday. This was a one-time thing, thank you, and if you ever tell anyone about it,"

"You'll stake me and sweep up the remains into the dustpan, yes, I've heard it all before, pet." Spike purred, his eyes closed, his bruised face looking much, MUCH too happy.

"This was a one-time thing."

"Anything you say, love." Then.. "Don't forget to eat your greens!" he called out as Xander ascended and left the crypt, never to return again. Oh yes, Xander was going home now.

And he did go home.

And descended straight into hell.

Part 4
Enter Hell

Xander spent a sleepless night trying to secretly keep ice on his wounds and drink lots of water and rest. He managed to drink lots of water. But touching the bruised places made him horny, damnit, and the ice just made it worse. Rest eluded him. He had jacked off in the shower (hoping the sound of the water had drowned out the sound of the name he was calling) but to no avail.

Every time he closed his eyes he could see them together…..him and Spike. Exchanging barbs in Xander’s basement. Exchanging blows in a fight. Getting naked in Spike’s bed……

Xander desperately wanted a strong drink (but no alcohol, just water, to recover the blood in forty-eight hours so he could, no, NO, he was NOT going back) but settled for cold medication and made another go at sleep. So what if all his dreams were about Spike and fighting matches that turned into biting and licking and serious snogging and righteous shagging…..what of it? Dreams were just that – dreams. Baring a visit from the Original Slayer, no one would ever have to know what Xander was dreaming about. Or the wet dreams that left him furtively washing the sheets in the morning.

But the next day was only worse.

Life was hell. Buffy was trying to get him to talk to her about the Dawn situation, asking his advice. Should she drop some of her classes? One? All?

But Xander’s brain was Full of Spike. Spike being gentle (oh GOD that smile) and the breathless way he had told him to “hang on for the ride.”

THEN Buffy was calling on the phone, swearing and trying to decide what to do about Dawn skipping classes, and what if DHS came and took her? Buffy’s voice was trembling, and Anya was giving her advice, but Xander was trying to find a way to be alone to enjoy a sudden fantasy – Spike coming to him for comfort when they lived together in his basement. Spike needing comfort, and getting it, lots of it, in the form of a slow, sweet seduction that lasted over the course of a year and ended up on a cruise ship with a tender anniversary present…

Hell was having NO control of his own brain. At the magic box, Buffy came in for comfort after dropping out of college. Xander managed to say something comforting before burying his head back in his comic book. But he had read the same damn page five times, and people were going to start asking questions.

But his mind was trying to create a comic book hero that was him, Xander Harris, as a dashing Storm-god Lightning man who, having been hit by lightning twice, wore dark sunglasses and zoomed around on a motorcycle with Spike as his trusty sidekick, whom he seduced with long electrifying kisses….

Hell was having no control. He had no control over his mind and almost none over his own body. He went to sleep that night (avoiding all contact with Anya, for fear she might see the marks) knowing, but no longer caring, that sleep would only be a dive into a deep sea of dark and bizarre fantasies. Fantasies Of Spike. (And he wasn’t disappointed. THIS night was a long, steamy dream in which he was TarXan and a wildman, strong, half-naked and ripped beyond belief, and convincing a badly sunburned blonde Englishman to come back to his hut for a date with himself, a mat and some coconut oil....)

Bloody hell. He had no control over his mind, over his cock, he barely had any control over his hands.

The next day he called in sick to work. He decided he needed to be available in case there was news about Glory, but the truth was he wanted to be alone in his apartment to daydream. Possibly in the shower, and possibly while jacking off again. But mostly he had to figure this out – if Glory were to attack right now, what would he do? Yell at her for hurting his vampire? Fight her? Compare bondage fantasies?

He couldn’t go on like this. He needed to see Spike.

A/N: ALL of the "fantasies" here are actual Fanfics that I enjoy.

Tiny Smiles and And Now For Something Completely Different are excellent Fan Fics by Sabershadowkat, and William & TarXan of the Jungle
is being penned by the awesome [info]skargasm as we speak!

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