Spike watched as Xander disappeared through the elevator and then slowly closed the apartment door behind him. He felt Buffy's arms wrap around his waist and her breath whispering gently on the back of his neck.
"Sorry to interrupt boys’ night out." Her lips found the sensitive part of his ear and pressed softly. “But I thought you were gonna call me.”
He closed his eyes and leaned into the caress.
"I hope you didn't mind me letting myself in. I couldn't wait for you to get home and I wanted everything to be perfect."
Spike turned his body to face hers and took a better look around his apartment. He finally noticed the sound of the quiet music filling the loft and the candles arranged around the entire room leaving a soft, romantic glow.
"Why don't you go get comfortable and I'll fix us a drink," she offered, leaning in to kiss his lips.
"Mind if I take a shower? Bit sweaty what with rehearsal and all..."
"Why don't you do that. I can help if you want," she offered, suggestively.
"No, you get the drinks ready; it'll just take me a minute."
"Okay, spoil sport. I'll be out here waiting… patiently… naked, on your bed."
He smiled and pulled away, hurrying toward the shower stall. He stripped quickly and stepped inside. As the water cascaded over his body, his mind replayed the look on Xander's face as he turned to leave. The look of hurt and jealousy. The look that told Spike things had gone too far with the other man. He'd fucked up. Broken his own rules. Strings or no strings, he knew the minute he'd invited Xander out for a beer he was setting himself up for something he really didn't need. He grabbed the soap and began washing the scent of earlier sex away while deciding at the same time that it was over. That tonight was the last time. He was with Buffy and that's where he was supposed to be. He quickly rinsed off, took one last deep breath and exited the shower. Grabbing a towel, he wrapped it around his waist and headed toward the bed where he knew she'd be waiting.
"You like?" Buffy lay on the bed, her robe opened around her, exposing her naked body.
"Mmm. Tasty, I'd say." He crawled onto the edge, snaking his way up her body, the towel the only thing left between them.
"Want some wine?" she whispered as he began gently nibbling the side of her neck.
"Not in the mood for wine, luv."
He settled in, moving between her legs, grinding his covered erection against her. As much as he wanted to rip the towel away, he knew she'd never allow it. He'd gotten too close too many times and it always ended with another argument, another lecture about how it wasn't the right time, the right place. So he'd gotten used to this scenario. Rub her the right way, go through the motions, make her come and maybe, if she wasn't too quick to run away, she'd do the same for him. Tonight felt like a good night. Or it could have been the left over residuals of the drugs and alcohol. Or the fact that he was still hard and aroused from earlier. Whatever the reason, his eyes widened when he felt her tugging at the material between them. In confusion, he lifted up, letting her pull the towel from around his waist.
He stared down and met her eyes. "Buffy?"
"I want you."
"You want..." he hesitated, uncertainty in his voice.
"I want to feel you inside me," she interrupted, "I want you to make love to me."
His head tilted, taking in the words. When it finally sunk in, he asked, "Are you sure?"
He leaned in to kiss her. This time when he pushed his hips, he ground against her and felt her wetness rubbing against his cock. His lips traveled south, down her neck, over her chest and his tongue reached a hardened nipple. He gently latched on and sucked eagerly.
"Please, Spike. I don't want to wait. And I've made you wait way too long."
"Okay, luv." He pulled away and turned toward the nightstand, pulling it open. His hand found the small package and pulled it out until Buffy's fingers wrapped around his wrist.
"I don't want to use that. Not for the fist time."
"Spike, I've been thinking about this for awhile. I'm on the pill, so we don't have to worry. And you were always safe before, right?"
"I just want to feel you. I mean really feel you. I don't want anything between us. At least this once. Then if it bothers you, I'll never ask again."
"I've just never..."
"Good, then it'll be like the first time for both of us."
He contemplated for a moment, and then nodded. "Alright, pet. No condom. If that's the way you want it."
She reached for him and pulled his body to hers, settling him back between her legs.
"It's gonna hurt a bit," he whispered.
He reached between their bodies and wrapped his hand around his cock, guiding it to her entrance. He rubbed gently, allowing some of her moisture to coat his head and then slowly pushed in a little. Buffy gasped and held her breath.
"Breathe, Buffy. I'll go easy."
She nodded and tried to relax. He pushed his hips a little further, forcing her to take another inch. Her muscles clamped, instinctively trying to stop the penetration. He stopped, giving her time to get used to the feel of him and kissed her lips, pushing his tongue inside. When he felt she was lost to the kiss, he eased in and pushed all the way through, burying himself deep inside her body. She cried out and threw her head back, grabbing onto his arms to keep him still. Her breathing halted again.
"Shhh. Relax, pet. You have to breathe, Buffy. The worst is over."
She let out a deep breath and eased her grip, letting him know it was okay to continue.
"I'm gonna go slow, okay? Just close your eyes and let me make you feel good." He slowly pulled out, leaving only the tip of his shaft inside.
She closed her eyes and tried to concentrate on nothing but the feel of his cock rubbing firmly against her insides. Sliding back in, easier, he was able to push completely through, and then back out.
A second time and he received a pleasurable moan.
“Is that better?”
“Mmmm…yeah. Feels good,” she answered, as she slowly began to rock her hips in time with his.
“That's it, Buffy. Let it go. Just feel me inside you.”
They continued to move, while Spike changed angles, trying to hit just the right spot. Buffy's grunts and soft groans told him he was succeeding, so he decided to risk quickening the pace. He sped up, taking shorter strokes and began to sit further up onto his knees, pulling her legs higher around his waist for better penetration.
Buffy's voice became louder, and he felt her body clenching tighter, pulling and squeezing his throbbing cock. “Come for me, baby. I'm gonna explode and I want to feel you trembling around me.”
“Oh, Spike… oh yeah… “ She gasped and clenched her eyes shut as her body began convulsing and shaking, the orgasm ripping through every muscle causing her to clamp down on the throbbing cock still moving within her.
Spike cried out, refraining from his usual narratives and bit his lip as he began to jet streams of cum inside her channel. When the pulsing finally ended and the last of the fluid was pushed from his body, he pulled out of her warmth and rolled over, closing his eyes.
“Oh my god,” he heard from beside him.
He turned his head to face her.
"Is that all you can say?" he asked with an inquisitive eyebrow raised.
She smiled and turned sideways toward him, resting her head on her arm. "When my brain starts working again, I'll have more. Promise." She reached over and kissed his lips.
Spike closed his eyes, pulling his arms behind his head and laid in silence as she began caressing the hair behind his ear.
“Was it okay?” she asked nervously.
He leaned up and opened his eyes to meet hers.
“I mean, I know it was my first time and everything and you've been with other people…”
“Yeah, baby.” He reached for her lips. “I'm just a bit knackered 's all.”
“Well, why don't you roll over and I'll rub your back. You can go to sleep, I'll let myself out.”
He heard the hidden question and answered nonchalantly, “You don't have to leave, Buffy.”
She smiled. “I just wasn't sure…”
“Stay. I'll see you in the morning.”
He rolled over, closed his eyes and felt her hands roaming up his spine.
“I love you, Spike.”
He relaxed into the caress and took a few deep breaths. “Mmm… that’s nice, luv.”
He fell asleep almost immediately, comfortable and sated. Within minutes there was a pounding on the door. He sat up abruptly, trying to gain his bearings and glanced around. Buffy was already asleep, lying undisturbed beside him. He scooted off the bed, grabbing a pair of sweats from the hamper against the wall and slipped them on. The knocking persisted until he reached the door.
“Yeah, yeah. Keep your knickers on…. I'm coming.”
He turned the bolt and slid the door open to see Xander staring with wild eyes at him.
Spike turned his head, making sure Buffy was still asleep and then returned the other man's gaze.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, his voice low and hushed.
“What do you think I'm doing here? You promised me the fuck of my life, remember? I'm here to collect.”
“That was before I knew she was here, you git. Now push off before she wakes up and sees you.”
“Before who wakes up?” Xander asked, leaning his body around Spike's to look around.
“Are you brain dead? Buffy! Before Buffy sees you.”
“I don't see anyone here.”
Spike cocked an eyebrow in confusion and turned around. He scanned the empty bed and frowned.
“What the hell?”
Xander grabbed his arm, yanked him roughly around and pushed him up against the door. “I just think you're trying to get out of your promise.”
“Didn't you enjoy tonight? The club? The guys… the car?” The brunet licked his lips and leaned in to kiss the other man, sliding his tongue deep inside. Spike felt a hand gripping his cock through the loose fitting material and closed his eyes, enjoying the taste of Xander's mouth on his.
“I know I enjoyed it. Watching your cock, in someone else's mouth… wanting to taste it so bad. Knowing that out of all the guys in there, I was gonna be the one you were gonna fuck. The one who was gonna have that nice, big cock all to myself.”
Spike moaned. “You were the one I wanted, Xan. I couldn't wait to get you out to the car.” Spike rocked his hips, rubbing firmly into the hand holding him.
“And the way you fucked me… like there wasn't anyone else in the world.”
Spike opened his eyes. “I didn't know she was gonna be here.”
“Did you fuck her? After I left? Did you finally get a taste of that cherry?”
Xander tugged on the drawstring, loosening the waistband to allow his hand to wander underneath and cup naked skin. “You don't mind, do you?”
The erection he found was long and hard, dripping with pre-cum, telling him Spike definitely wouldn't say no. He began stroking, pulling with the firmness he knew the other man liked. “I bet she wasn't as tight. Even with that virgin pussy, I bet she couldn't make you come as hard as I did. With you, in my ass, pounding into me like you were gonna split me wide open… you were so hard.”
Xander made a point of looking down, watching the object of his affection twitching in his hand. “I love your cock.”
Without warning, lips were wrapped around it, expertly sucking Spike into a mindless abyss. Xander, down on his knees, hungry and taking what he wanted, made the blond’s temperature rise. Spike's head tilted back, as he let the other man pleasure him to orgasm. He moaned his appreciation and grabbed onto Xander's shoulders, keeping himself steady. He felt the beginning of his release and tensed his muscles, pushing his hips forward into the awaiting warm mouth. He expected to explode within the deep cavern but instead felt the wetness begin to shower him as he felt the liquid running down his shaft and over his sac, easing its way between the cheeks of his ass.
Spike caught his breath, opened his eyes and found himself lying on his bed, his fingers entwined around blonde hair and Buffy's eyes staring at him from between his legs.
“Morning, baby,” she whispered with a smile.
Spike blinked in confusion and let go of his grip.
“What is it? You looked spooked. I thought you'd like it,” she pouted, crawling up beside him.
“Oh yeah, uh, of course I did. Just… not really awake yet, pet.”
She smiled and began rubbing her nails lightly down his arm. “Seemed pretty alert to me.”
He chuckled. “Amazing what the body can do without the brain's knowledge.”
She hesitated and then pondered a serious look. “What am I gonna do without you for a month?”
A hand slapped him playfully across the chest.
“God, Spike. Eeww. No, I mean seriously. You're gonna be here and I'm gonna be all the way across the country.”
“A month's not too long, luv.”
“It might as well be forever. I don't see why my father wants me there for the holidays anyway. All he does is entertain clients and try to up his business propositions.”
“Yeah, and my dear 'ole dad'll be right there beside him. Be sure to say hello for me, would you, pet?” he asked sarcastically.
“I don't see why you don't just come with me. We could spend Christmas vacation in New York together.”
“You know I have to stay. Got a lot of gigs lined up, and now's the best time since I don't have to juggle classes with rehearsal. Might be able to manage some studio time if we're lucky.”
She flopped back on the bed, full pout pursed on her lips. “I know, I know. But I'm gonna miss you.”
“I thought Willow was going with you.”
“She is. Her parents are off in the Caribbean somewhere… But it's not exactly the same. I'd rather spend it with you.”
“I'll be there for a couple days. We'll eat turkey and open presents. Promise. That's as much time as I can tolerate. ”
“When was the last time you talked to him?”
“Nothin' to say to him. We talk when we have to.”
“He's your father, Spike.”
“Just 'cause he was married to my mum doesn't make him my father.”
Spike quickly stood up, grabbed the towel from his shower the night before and cleaned the remaining evidence from the morning wake up call. He threw the towel on top of the hamper and did a double take when he saw his gray sweatpants. His mind wandered to his dream and he could almost picture Xander kneeling in front of him.
“What happened to make you hate him so much?”
Spike's head snapped around to look at her. “What?”
“Your father, Spike. We were talking about your father. Why? What were you thinking about?”
Spike shook his head and began pulling on a pair of jeans. “Nothing, luv. Just don't want to talk about him anymore.”
“Alright. I didn't mean to make you all moody. I thought we could maybe…?” She motioned toward the bed and blinked coyly.
He moved closer and leaned down to kiss her. “Sorry, Buffy. Gotta get goin'. Meeting up with Charlie to go over the new riff.”
“Fine,” she complained, “mind if I take a shower before I go?”
“Help yourself, luv. I'll call you later, yeah?” he offered, after sliding into a button-down shirt and working on his socks and boots.
“Okay. I'll be packing most of the day. You still gonna take me to the airport in the morning?”
“I'll be there.”
He nodded and climbed into his duster, leaving her to her shower.
When he took off, he had every intention of going straight to Charlie's apartment. Instead, he found himself heading the opposite direction toward the college dorms. Cursing himself the entire way, he parked in front of the administration office to see if they would tell him which room Xander was in. Just to apologize, he told himself. Nothing else. He walked inside, still intending on doing just that.
With a flirtatious smile, Spike wrangled the room number from the young lady working the front desk. He stood in front of the elevator, waiting for the car, trying to work out exactly what he would say to Xander when he was in front of him. He felt guilty, that much he knew. Why? That was the big question. So the other man left because Buffy showed up. Xander knew the rules of the game. But still, the look he’d received… and why was he going to apologize anyway? They had sex. Albeit more than the one night stands he was accustomed to, but sex just the same. No strings, straight from the other man's mouth. But Xander had been jealous. And that meant more than just sex. That meant the other man was allowing emotions into the mix. Right then, he made the decision to stop it while he still could.
He stepped in front of the door and read the number. “Room 116.” He stared for a moment as if somehow he could decide to turn away, knowing all the same he wouldn’t. His hand reached up by its own accord and knocked. He waited. He heard movement from within and knocked again. Thinking he heard Xander’s voice, he took the initiative and turned the knob. The door slowly opened on its hinge and he found the brunette lying face down on a small, twin bed in the corner.
“Yo, Harris. Wake up you lazy git.” He shoved the man’s leg with his booted foot and received a moan and a fingered gesture.
“C’mon,” Spike eyed another empty, blanket less bed and sat down, crossing his arms in front of him. “Not talking to myself here, mate.”
“Spike?” Xander asked in confusion, still facing away but lifting his head from the pillow.
“Expecting someone else?”
A deep seeded laugh escaped the other man’s lips. “I was dreaming about you.”
“I get that often,” Spike replied smugly. “Was I a stallion?”
Having not turned to face Spike, Xander continued to talk. “You were a vampire and you were just about to bite me. You had some kind of hypnotizing power thing you could do with your dick or something… it was all very disturbing.”
Spike chuckled. “You still stoned Harris?” he asked, not trying to hide his amusement.
“Fuck if I know.” Xander slowly climbed off the mattress, keeping his naked body turned away from the other man and limped with a pained moan into the small bathroom, closing the door behind him.
Spike watched, wondering where the injury came from but remained silent, waiting. The sound of water drained into the sink, the toilet flushed and finally Xander emerged with a towel wrapping his lower body.
"What are you doing here?" he asked, cringing at the loudness of his own voice.
"What the fuck happened to you?" Spike asked, standing to move toward the other man.
Xander's hand rose to cover his black eye and he turned away, searching for his discarded clothes. "Nothing," he lied and grunted as he bent to grab his jeans from the floor.
Spike approached with concern, pulling the towel from around his waist. "Doesn't look like nothing," he challenged, placing his hand over the purple bruised ribs.
Xander pulled away from Spike and carefully stepped into his boxers. "Nothing you need to worry about. Besides, isn't there somewhere else you should be?"
"Who did that to you?" he asked sternly.
"Go home, Spike." Xander slid his jeans on and found his t-shirt, sniffed it and threw it into the corner.
"Stop being a sodding prick, Harris. Tell me."
Xander spun around angrily and placed his hands on his hips. "I'm a prick? I wasn't the one that left you with a hard-on the size of Kansas!" He realized what he'd said and frowned. "Okay, yeah, I was the one that left, but..."
Spike sighed. "I know. Wasn't exactly thinking right at that point."
”And that's another thing," he added, poking the blond in the chest, "no more drugs. Can't be around you and keep myself straight."
Spike grabbed his hand. "You on a guilt trip, Harris?"
"No, Spike. I just can't do what I thought I could, alright?" He stepped around, pulling his hand away and opened up a dresser drawer. Fumbling for a new t- shirt, he slid it over his head. "So why don't you go home, enjoy your life with Buffy, and stop with the fucking around, okay?"
"You going moral on me?"
"No, just trying to end this before it gets ugly."
"Hmm." Spike plopped down on the bed. "Funny that. I was coming over here to tell you the same thing."
Xander hesitated for a minute before sitting down on the bed beside Spike. "So, you finally got lucky, huh?" he asked as directly as possible while receiving a heated glare.
"You gonna tell me what happened to you?"
"Nope," Xander answered.
"Alright then. Guess we're done." Spike stood and shoved his hands inside his pockets.
"Just because we're not fucking doesn't mean we can't hang out. I mean, I'm gonna be sticking around during Christmas break. It'd be nice to have someone… to talk to." He looked down nervously. "Unless you're leaving...?"
"No, I'll be around. Buffy's going home, I could use someone to keep me busy."
Xander sighed. "Comments like that get you in trouble."
"But you're so gullible," Spike insisted, with a smile.
"Yeah, well, I'm not changing my mind. Besides... I kinda met someone."
The smile left Spike’s lips. "In the last..." he glanced at the clock, "ten hours?"
"Yep." Xander allowed a cheesy grin. "Went back to the club last night. I'd seen him around, but never had the nerve to try to meet him. Guess the drugs weren’t so bad after all."
"Aah. So that's what this is. It's about you givin' me the brush off."
"You were gonna do the same thing so I don't want to hear it," Xander complained.
"Was just curious. Want to know who reaped the benefits... that's all."
"Hmm... understatement of the year." Xander smiled again. "I should thank you, I guess. You had me so hard... and if Buffy hadn't shown up..."
Spike blinked, trying not to imagine what would have happened if Buffy hadn't been there. "You got buggered good and proper then? Good for you, mate. So... tell me about the lucky bloke."
Xander shook his head. "Buggered? Bloke? You know, I have no idea what you're saying half the time."
"Buggered. Fucked. What's not to understand? So who was he?"
"He goes by Angel. Don't exactly think his mother named him that, though," he joked.
A smirk appeared on Spike's face. "Angel? What kind of poncy name is Angel?"
"Oh, yeah. Like Spike is so much better," he taunted. "What is your real name by the way?"
"Spike," he answered sharply, moving past the question. "So this guy.... Angel," he tried to hold in a snicker, "good lay or what?"
"Oh, come on," he whined.
"You gonna tell me about you and Buffy?"
He received a raised eyebrow.
"I didn't think so."
"Alright. I won't ask about who you fuck and you don't ask... about Buffy. Sound fair?”
"Well, if that's it, I think I'll head out. Got somewhere to be. Just wanted to... you know."
"Break up with me?" Xander joked, trying to hide the discomfort they were both feeling.
"Yeah, right," Spike added, rolling his eyes.
"Lets not get all weird, okay? ‘Cause I'm feeling weird vibes and I really want to stay friends."
"First the brush off, now the ‘we can still be friends’ speech; you really are a sad sap, aren't you?"
Xander smiled. "Sounds kinda girly, huh?"
“ ‘S alright. I’ll let you be the girl. I’ll leave, you cry, all’s better in the morning.” Spike reached for a cigarette, fiddling with it between his fingers.
Spike smiled back. "Sorry, not allowed. But come by tomorrow if you want. Gotta take Buffy to the airport in the morning, then I'll be hangin' out, drinking a bit... the usual."
Xander nodded. "Gotta work but I could stop by later, if you want."
"You work?" he chuckled.
Xander shoved him playfully. "Yes, I work. What's so funny about that?"
He took a drag from the Marlboro and blew it out. "Don't see you as the working type, mate."
"Yeah, well, we haven't exactly taken time to get to know each other, have we?"
Another smirk. "Had better things to do."
"Yeah, and most people get to know each other before they’re on to better things.”
“No, sometimes you just fuck.”
Xander shook his head. “Anyway… yes, I have a job. I work construction whenever I don’t have class.”
“Construction?” Images of Xander taking place of one of the Village People came to mind and he casually scanned the other man up and down. “Hmm.”
“Oh, ‘s nothing. So what’s with the music thing then?”
“Music?” Xander confusedly asked. “Oh, the whole college major thing. That was really just a way to piss my dad off. I picked something I knew he’d hate, just so he’d feel like he was wasting his money or something.”
A deep laugh from Spike. “Sounds like you and me got more in common than we thought.”
“What, you hate my dad, too?” he replied jokingly.
Spike smiled back. “Sorry, got one of my own for that. So, construction, huh?”
“Yeah. I like to make things. Was always building stuff when I was a kid.”
Spike stood up. "Now I know something about you. Can’t say I’m shallow. See you tomorrow?"
"Yeah, I guess. Unless I'm busy... "
"If I'm lucky."
"Nope..." Spike turned to leave and made it to the door. "If he is."
Xander barely heard the words as the other man disappeared into the hallway already regretting his decision.
The flight was delayed, morning became afternoon, leaving Spike, Buffy and Willow sitting impatiently in the airport waiting for the announcement of their plane’s departure to be called. Restless after sitting for several hours, Spike stood up and began to pace while listening to the girls making plans for the month they’d be spending in New York. Buffy tried several times to talk him into changing his mind and joining them, receiving the same ‘no’ each time. He needed a cigarette. His hand fumbled in his pocket, rubbing the top of the box and then stopped and glared when he glanced at the No Smoking sign for the hundredth time.
“So, have you seen Xander around? I tried to call him yesterday but he wasn’t home,” Willow asked, staring directly at Spike.
“Ran into him last night,” he answered, casually looking at Buffy.
“What’s his story? I thought he might be interested, then all of a sudden he went all avoidy on me.”
“ ‘S not really my business…” he answered.
“Well guy to guy, you have to know something.”
Spike shrugged and sat back down in the chair. “I don’t know, Red. I think he might be seein’ someone.” At least he could let her off the hook easy without saying too much.
“Damn. He was hot, too. Why are all the good ones taken?” she pouted.
Buffy smiled. “Yeah. Either taken or gay,” she joked.
Spike’s eyebrow rose as he glanced the other direction and felt relief when he heard their flight number being called over the loudspeaker.
“Well, that’s us!” Buffy remarked excitedly.
They stood up, grabbing suitcases and carry-ons. “I’ll be thinking about you.” She moved in close to kiss Spike goodbye.
“Me too, luv. But I’ll see you in a couple of weeks.”
“I know… Can’t wait already.”
One more kiss and he stayed long enough to watch them disappear down the corridor. He turned and began walking at a quick pace, hardly able to wait until he reached the door leading outside before he pulled a cigarette out and lit it. He took a deep breath and smoked while returning to his car.
As he drove silently away from the airport, he began to feel the guilt wash over him. He cared about Buffy, but not enough to want to spend every waking moment with her. He thought things would change once they slept together, but his feelings hadn’t changed. Maybe it was because sex was something he’d learned to take for granted. He felt guilty for taking the experience away from her, knowing she should have had that first moment with someone who could really love her. In his heart, he knew he never would. He felt guilty that he wouldn’t miss her as much as she would miss him. And he knew eventually he would hurt her. He cursed himself for not being stronger… for not being able to stand up to his self-proclaimed father from the beginning of the charade.
He then allowed his thoughts to turn to the second person on his mind. It was something he hadn’t expected. He’d been with plenty of other men, stronger, larger, more attractive men; but he felt an attraction to Xander that ran deeper than sex. He enjoyed the other man’s company. He enjoyed his almost boyish quality, mixed with a daring sense of eroticism that only proved to enhance Spike’s own.
He pulled into the parking lot of the bar Xander had introduced him to and turned off the ignition. Realizing he’d been brooding, he made a pact to cut his losses and stop dwelling on things he couldn’t have. They’d agreed. As good as it felt, they both knew without saying it that they were getting in too deep. It was better that Xander had met someone else. Spike didn’t need any more turmoil in his life. Right now, all he needed was a beer and relaxation in whatever form he could find it. He sighed, agreeing to start working on his drinking problem tomorrow.
Once inside, he found a table, sipped his beverage and watched the pretty boys coming and going from the back room. He twitched in his seat, debated the heavy door and casually remained where he was. Another beer and his mind pictured the night before. Bodies rubbing, naked… music pumping… He eyed the door with less certainty.
“You wanna go in?”
It wasn’t until the voice startled him that he even noticed the large, dark-haired man standing in front of him.
“Doing just fine, mate.” He took another pull from the bottle and tried to look uninterested.
“Mind if I sit then?”
“I do, actually.”
The other man scooted into the booth across from him.
Spike rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Which part of ‘I mind’ don’t you get?”
“The part where you mind…” the stranger answered with a grin.
“Yeah, well… not in the mood for company so just… bugger off. Go pick up someone else.”
He shook his head. “A guy doesn’t come to a place like this if he’s not in the mood for company. Especially giving off the bad ass vibes you’re sending out.” Mystery man took a sip from his own beer and put it back down on the table. “You practically have fuck me written all over you.”
“Hmm. Reading the wrong book then, mate.”
"I don't think so."
"Oh, c'mon. What's it gonna hurt to let me buy you another beer?"
The blond sighed and gave in. "Suit yourself. Can waste your money any way you like."
The man smiled and called to the kid who barely looked old enough to be waiting tables. He ordered another round and then became silent, staring at Spike.
Spike glared back. "What?"
"I bet you're used to guys coming onto you."
Spike shrugged and lit a cigarette.
"But I bet they aren't as straightforward as I am."
"Well... my guess is… they talk, make innuendos, wait for you to make the first move... when I would do it completely different."
“Buy me a drink while you incessantly prattle on?”
The stranger ignored the snarky insult and moved in closer.
“I’d be direct and tell you I’d like to take you somewhere and fuck your brains out.”
Spike pondered the other man for a moment. “You’re a romantic then?”
The stranger smiled. “Just don’t like to waste time. So how about you and me disappear behind that door you’ve been staring at and get to know each other a little better.”
A moment’s hesitation to think about Buffy. A second moment to also consider Xander, and then an agreeing nod. This was exactly what he needed to get them both out of his head. He needed something familiar and picking up an anonymous stranger to take his frustrations out on and no second-guessing himself afterward was what he was used to.
He scooted from the booth, grabbed his smokes, realized the pack was empty and threw it back on the table. He grabbed his beer and watched as the larger man joined him, his eyes wandering appreciatively down the length of Spike’s body.
“You have a name?” the stranger asked.
“Yep,” he answered, making his way to the back room.
Spike cut him off. “Don’t wanna know, mate. You’re just a shag, got it? Don’t need to know your name for that.”
“Wow. Who pissed in your Wheaties?”
“Look, you propositioned me, yeah? I’m taking you up on your offer. Not looking for a buddy or someone to chat with. So take it or leave it.”
“You really are a bad ass, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, mate. But I’m a good fuck, too. So what’ll it be?”
The other man reached for the bottle in Spike’s hand, lifted it to his own lips and downed the contents quickly, tossing it into a trashcan beside the end of the bar. It was then that Spike noticed the look in his eyes. They retreated to the door and begged entrance, making their way passed the burly man Spike recalled Xander referring to as Jerry. Once inside, the familiar music blared, leaving the floor pulsing beneath them.
Spike grabbed the other man’s hand and pulled him around so their bodies were pressed together tightly.
“Got a little pick me up?”
A smirk appeared. “Wouldn’t leave home without it.” A small bottle appeared and was wiggled in front of Spike’s face. The other man opened the lid and scooped some out, holding it up. Spike sniffed it in, feeling the burn recede to the back of his throat and swallowed it down. One more scoop and as the other nostril burned, he realized it had been awhile since the last time he’d experimented with coke. He leaned his head back, closing his eyes as he was pushed against the wall by the weight of the body against his.
“I saw you in here before,” the voice whispered. “I was watching from the corner when you were being sucked off.”
“You liked what you saw then?” Spike asked, his hand reaching out to palm the other man’s hard-on through the material of his jeans.
“Mmm. I was jerking off, imagining what it would feel like to have your mouth around my cock.”
Spike’s rubbing became firmer, his fingers reaching lower to lift the other man’s balls as he caressed.
“Is that what you want now? You want me to blow you before we go in?”
He received a moan and a begging look that needed no words spoken. He swung them around pushing the other man against the wall and slipped down so his head was at groin level. His fingers worked the snap and then the zipper, pushing it down slowly, teasing. His hands reached around, finding their way under the waistband, pushing the pants and briefs down as he kneaded firm buttocks. His mouth watered at the site of the rock hard cock that sprung forward in front of him. He gripped it in one hand and licked the tip of the oozing slit with his tongue, circling around the entire head and returning back to the tip. Hands were in his hair, tugging but not painful, and he heard moans of delight escaping the other man’s lips. Moans he associated with a different brunet. He closed his eyes and it was Xander’s cock invading his mouth, leaking pre-cum onto his tongue. He began swallowing it down greedily.
Spike gripped the base and pulled the cock fully into his mouth, tonguing up and down the shaft as he sucked in his cheeks with every thrust of the man’s hips. With every pull, he could feel the length hardening and twitching. The sounds from above were increasing in volume, causing Spike to speed his movements. When he felt the familiar throbbing and knew he was about to bring him off, Spike stopped and removed his mouth with a wet pop. The hands on his head pulled, trying to urge him back on, but he resisted, instead standing up to confront the stranger. His fantasy of Xander ended for the moment and he leaned in to grind his hips against naked skin. His own cock jumped in anticipation and pushed harder against the buttons of his fly.
“You don’t get to come yet, mate. Not hardly through with you.”
“I’d hope not. Got plans of my own.” Their lips met until Spike pulled away, the kiss feeling a bit too intimate.
The stranger yanked his jeans up over his hips and grabbed Spike’s hand. “C’mon. Let’s go enjoy the scenery.”
They walked together down the hallway until they reached the main area.
“God, I love this place,” he heard from beside him. He felt an arm snake around his waist and a body press against his back. “Let’s go find a dark corner somewhere.”
He nodded and let himself be led across the room. The theme was different from the previous visit. Instead of the ominous red glow, the room was filled with florescent black lights blinking rapidly in time to the techno music filling the space. Barely able to focus properly, he had to rely on the feel of the other man to keep his surroundings stable around him.
“Kinda wild, huh? The black lights.”
“Can’t tell who’s doing what,” he answered, while being pushed onto a large, empty sofa.
The other man fell alongside, rolling so Spike’s body was pressed beneath him.
“Good time to be here. With the lights, they have no idea what’s going on. You can do, well, just about anything and no one would know.”
“Anything such as… fucking?”
He felt hands on his buckle, fumbling to pull his belt loose. “Uh huh,” the man answered, succeeding and starting on the button fly.
Within seconds, his cock was freed and being worked steadily by a large, firm hand. He arched his back in pleasure and tried to contain a moan without success. The coke was doing its job and Spike began to forget everything around him but the feel of heavy breathing against his neck, a hard cock humping against his hip and his own erection growing larger and harder with each movement of the other man’s hand. He let everything go and turned his head to grab onto wet lips, wrapping his hand around the large neck, pulling his partner in closer for more contact.
His mind could only wrap around one person. One face. One body he wanted to climb into and embrace. He closed his eyes and saw Xander’s chocolate eyes staring down at him, the goofy smile pursed on his lips. The lips he was kissing hungrily. Pushing his tongue further, exploring and tasting. The hand left his cock and he felt a finger traveling lower, lightly brushing his balls, underneath… reaching the small puckered area that he swore no man would ever touch again. But it was Xander, so Spike relaxed and allowed the finger to explore. Slight tension as it pushed in, bending slightly to wriggle its way passed the tight ring until finally the whole finger was buried deep. His legs were pushed up for better access and he felt a second digit forcing its way in. A slight twinge of pain, then more pleasure as the fingers began to rub back and forth, searching for that certain spot.
“Bloody hell yes,” Spike panted and began trying to thrust back against the hand.
The lips left his, as did the fingers, retreating even as he let out a moaned complaint. He was gripped, pulled up to stand on wobbly legs and his hands were guided to a stiff cock, a voice whispering in his ear, urging him to make it harder… better for him. He gripped the base in one hand and ran his fingers around the mushroom tip, feeling the moisture leaking out. He rubbed, gathering the fluid to help ease his hand down the shaft and back up again. Ready to move down to his knees to take Xander’s penis in his mouth but held up by strong hands, a gently voice said no and Spike was guided to the end of the sofa. Hands on his waist turned him around, pushing him head first over the sofa’s arm. He gripped it tightly, the blood rushing to his head as he felt his legs being moved farther apart. Silent anticipation for a moment as he heard the package being ripped and then he felt hands on his ass, spreading him.
“Xander,” he mumbled under his breath, preparing for the breech he knew was about to come.
With Spike’s cheeks apart, the man lined his cock up with the puckered entrance and pushed. Lubrication from the pre-lubed condom helped as he eased inside against the tightness of the muscles trying to keep him out. Spike grit his teeth and buried his head into the cushion waiting for the pain to subside, knowing Xander would be gentle.
The cock moved steadily further, pushing through and pulling back out, a little at a time. The stranger listened to Spike’s pained moans and began to speed up, the sound of the British voice making him want to fuck him harder… deeper. He grabbed the quivering hips and squeezed, using them as leverage as he buried his cock completely inside. He stilled, the feel of his prick throbbing inside the tight ass almost making him come, but he held back, not wanting it to be over. He leaned down, resting against Spike and moaned into his ear. “You were right. You are a good fuck.”
Spike’s eyes opened in surprise. As he lay bent across the arm of the club’s sofa with the large body draped on top of him, he realized finally that it wasn’t Xander. Not Xander’s cock inside him. A stranger. He’d let a stranger fuck him... just like before. The anger welled up and he gripped the arm of the couch, pushing back to try and push the other man away. “Fuck!” he yelled, his efforts not getting him anywhere. The man on top took the word completely different and eased his body upright, pulled out until just the tip of his cock was inside and then pounded back in forcefully. Spike screamed. The man thrust in again, several times, fucking as hard as he could, his grunts and moans blocking the sounds of the pained cries coming from below him.
Spike finally stopped trying to resist, allowing his body to go limp as the man pounded into him. The pain had subsided, replaced with a numbing from being taken so harshly. It had been a long time since Spike had been fucked, but the pain was something he hadn't forgotten. He felt a hand wrap around his cock and the man behind him began fisting him to the time of his own thrusts.
“Are you close?” he heard faintly.
He tensed; concentrated on the hand job his cock was receiving and let the orgasm escape his body. He barely felt the cock inside him throbbing as the stranger earned his own release, stilling and then finally pulling out.
Spike lay silent, not ready to move, waiting for the room to stop spinning. Finally, he took a deep breath and pulled himself up, tucked his cock back in and buttoned his pants. The other man leaned in after discarding the condom into a nearby trashcan and moaned seductively into Spike’s ear. “Mmmm. Man you’re hot. I could’ve fucked you forever.”
The bravado came back and Spike attempted to sit up straight. “Don’t flatter yourself, mate.”
A scoff and huff from the stranger. “You got off. Can’t tell me you didn’t like it.”
“Powdery substances tend to do that. You could have been anyone.”
“Yeah, whatever. Anyway, that mean I can’t see you again?”
Spike smirked and stood up. “Sorry, mate. I’m taken.” He ignored the other man and began fighting his way through the crowd, making his way back to the small hallway. The stranger caught up to him and grabbed his arm.
“Hey… you look like you need this more than I do,” he said, handing Spike the small container from his pocket. “If you ever work out those issues you got, look me up. I’ll be around.”
Spike raised an eyebrow and accepted the bottle, shoving it inside his pants pocket.
“See you ‘round, mate.”
He turned and walked through the door, aware that the other man’s eyes never left him. Barely remembering the drive home, he made it to his apartment and fell onto his bed. He tried to blank all thought from his head without success. It was bad enough in his mind he’d been fucking Xander. Wanted to be fucked by him. And not once did he think of Buffy, his actual girlfriend. He grabbed the lamp from the nightstand and with a vicious roar hurled it at the wall, breaking the base into small pieces.
Just then, there was a knock on the door. Spike shook his head and tried to ignore it, but got even angrier when the persistent knocking failed to go away. He stormed toward the door, sliding it open. “What the fuck do you want!?”
Xander stood with his hands in his pockets, the look of devastated hurt in his eyes. A look that made Spike’s anger melt into shame.
Spike sighed and closed his eyes. “Sorry. Wasn’t meant toward you.”
“Wouldn’t want to be the guy it was meant for.”
“Not much for playing the host right now, but come in if you want,” he offered, stepping aside to let Xander in.
The brunet walked in, shutting the door behind him and followed Spike to the kitchen. Spike grabbed a beer from the refrigerator, tossing it toward his guest and then opened one for himself.
“Bad fucking life, Harris.”
Xander took a drink from his bottle. “Yeah, well… right there with you. I know I was gonna stop by anyway, but I came here for a reason, actually.”
Spike looked up, questioning with his eyes.
“I’m leaving and I came to say goodbye.”
Xander was standing in front of him, the person he'd been fantasizing about only an hour earlier. The look on the other man's face was pained and sad, evidence of previous tears showing in the red, puffy eyes. Spike sat his bottle down and gripped the side of the counter so tight his knuckles turned white from the pressure.
"What do you mean you're leaving?"
"I'm leaving school."
Spike grit his teeth, hoping for... something. "Thought you were staying through winter break."
"I'm leaving, Spike," Xander answered a bit more forcefully. "For good."
Spike looked up from where he was staring at the counter and found Xander’s saddened eyes. "Why?"
"Doesn't matter. Just thought I’d let you know."
"What the fuck's going on, Harris?"
Xander turned away and headed toward the couch, sitting down sheepishly with his hands folded in his lap. "Look, I just came because I figured maybe you’d wanna know. Either way, I’m outta here tomorrow."
Spike grabbed his beer and followed, trying to act as casual as possible, knowing the thought of Xander not being around was affecting him more than it should. He plopped down at the opposite end of the sofa and stared expectantly.
"Gonna have to do better than that, mate."
Xander sighed. He lay back against the couch and shook his head before raising it again to look at Spike.
"Last night, when I left Angel's place... I was jumped."
Spike’s eyes widened. "Jumped. That's what this is about? What you wouldn’t tell me yesterday?"
Xander shrugged. "Two guys, out of nowhere. Turns out my father was having me followed. He'd heard some things, he wanted..." Xander lay back again, closing his eyes, resting his head on the back of the sofa. "I went home after work today and he was there. Haven't seen the fucker in four months and he was in my dorm... just waiting."
"The tosser had you beat up?!" The anger from before Xander arrived rose back to the surface, Spike's eyes turning dark blue with fury.
"No. Fuck, I don't know. I think maybe…" Xander glanced down, fidgeting with his hands, embarrassed by his admission.
"Xander," Spike spoke in a calmer tone. The two men locked eyes. "What did he do?"
The brunet blinked. "The sorry alcoholic son of a bitch called me a fucking faggot. Said no son of his could possibly be queer."
"Xan..." Spike reached out to place his hand on the other man's leg, to offer comfort but was quickly pushed away.
"No, Spike. Don't… it’ll just... be harder."
Spike’s hand flinched, returning to his own side of the sofa.
"So he tells me he’s done. I'm no longer his son. Just like that."
Spike stared into his bottle for a moment before saying anything, followed it to his lips as he took a drink then took the risk of looking up. "Sounds like you're better off without the bloody wanker."
"Yeah, well... can't pay for school andand the dorm without his money. The construction job doesn't pay that much. Got no choice but to leave."
Spike strained to hide his emotions. Tried to hold back telling Xander he needed him there, wanted him there. "Where are you off to then?"
"Got some friends in Florida. Said I could crash 'til I figure things out."
"Could you afford to pay for school?" Spike closed his eyes and sighed, completely flabbergasted by the suggestion his mind had immediately conjured up.
"I just said..."
"No. Just school. If you didn't have to pay for the dorm."
Xander shifted his shoulders in surrender. "I don't know, I guess so, maybe."
Spike pulled himself closer to the edge of the couch, rolled his head to work out the tension in his neck and tried to force the words out. "Why don't you move in here."
Xander's eyes widened. "What?!"
"You wouldn't have to pay rent," he held up his bottle, "and there’s all the free booze you can handle..."
Xander attempted a small smile. "Not that I don't appreciate it, but we both know that's a bad idea."
"It's a bloody brilliant idea."
"Yeah. Uh huh. And payment would be made how?"
Meant as a joke but Spike frowned. "Same rules apply, Harris. We agreed, right? Didn't forget. Just don't like the idea of your dad winning 's all."
"So you actually think we could both live here, together. And not..." he gestured between them.
"Fuck like rabbits?"
"And that was so not what I was gonna say..."
"Come off it, Harris. We've shagged a couple times. Wasn't world apocalyptic stuff, mate."
"Yeah, okay. I guess, but still..." A twinge of hurt but he wasn’t about to let Spike see it.
"Sofa's yours if you want it. That's the offer." Spike stood up and made his way back to the kitchen, throwing his empty bottle away, grabbing another from the fridge.
"So, no rent but I stay here, on the couch... "
Spike nodded and leaned against the counter, watching Xander's brow furrow in indecisive thought.
"I'd have to pay you something."
"No worries, mate. Apartment's taken care of."
"Taken care of?" the younger man repeated.
"Just don't go shaggin' your new boyfriend on my couch and things'll work out just fine." Amusement returned to his voice, already aware that the decision had been made.
Xander stood, meandering to the refrigerator and grabbed another bottle, throwing the old one away when he turned back around.
"He's not my boyfriend. It was just one night," he argued, glancing at his watch. "Until I see him later," he smiled.
"Wants to see you again? Practically married."
"Fuck you, Spike,” he blushed. “He's just nice, and incredibly sexy and not to mention hung like a..."
"I got it, Harris," Spike snapped. "Has you all twitterpated does he?" He cracked an evil smile and moved closer to where his new roommate was standing. Leaning into him, he allowed the back of his hand to gently brush against the material where the zipper of Xander's jeans lay and seductively let his eyes wander down to the off-limits area. His other hand traveled upward to the side of Xander's neck, gripping softly under the hair curling just at the ear. For a moment, he contemplated kissing the other man, instead leaning in to whisper softly, "Did he fuck you, Xander? Did you let him fill that tight ass? Or did you do him, maybe took the lead for a bit. Did you take him to town on that pretty cock of yours?"
Xander moaned, his body reacting the same way it always did when Spike was near, especially when his hand was gently rubbing against his awakening bulge, barely touching, only teasing.
Lips against his ear, touching... warm breath sliding down his neck. "What, pet? Just getting you ready for your date now, aren't I? Making you hard, wet... ready to be fucked."
Xander gulped and pushed him away, gaining his senses. "What the fuck!? And did you just call me ‘pet’?"
Spike began to laugh. A laugh so deep in his gut his hands pressed into his sides to stop the hurt. He looked up into the exasperated face and let loose another bellowing laugh.
"Glad you're so amused."
"I was just..." stopped to catch a breath, "playing with you, Harris." Another breath. "Didn't really mean…" he pointed between them, hoping he wasn't as bad a liar as he knew he was.
"Ha fuckin' ha, Spike. Thanks a lot," he complained, unzipping to adjust his uncomfortable hard-on.
Spike chuckled again and made a huge attempt to stay straight-faced. "You should have seen your face, mate. Bloody priceless!"
"Again, glad I amuse you." His lip began a pout and he reached for the beer he'd somehow discarded without realizing it.
"Just lightening the mood. Gotta admit it worked, dinnit?"
"Like a charm," he answered sarcastically.
"You're face looks better by the way... Not black and blue."
"I'm a fast healer."
Spike smiled. "Alright, so that's settled. Move you in tomorrow then?"
“Don’t have much. One car load should do it.”
“Right. Door’ll be open if I’m out. I’ll have another key made.”
Xander nodded. “Are you sure about this?”
“How bad could it be?”
Xander turned onto West Hyatt Boulevard, tapping his fingers, humming along to the music blaring on the radio. He hadn’t been able to wipe the smile off his lips since he’d left Spike’s apartment. Their apartment. Even completely platonic, the thought of seeing the other man every day cheered him up, all thoughts of his father leaving his mind.
He drifted into a daydream, Spike’s lips trailing down his neck, a firm hand cupping his cock, rubbing him to hardness. He blinked. Not a daydream, but an actual event, not less than fifteen minutes earlier. He’d sworn, just for a moment, that Spike had been about to kiss him. How hard could it be? Pftt… fucking unbelievably hard. Just the thought of Spike… his eyes, his body, made Xander's nether regions go into a frenzy. But they were friends. Agreed.
He blocked the memory, denying any hint of being completely turned on by the episode and continued denial until he finally turned into Angel’s driveway. Exactly what he needed to get Spike out of his head.
Angel was at the door pulling him inside before he could knock. Hands were around his waist, lips searching hungrily for his mouth. He allowed himself to be pushed against the wall and felt Angel’s hardness rubbing against his groin. Already half hard himself from the images of Spike, it wasn’t long before his cock was rising to meet the attention of the other man’s.
The lips left his long enough to speak. “I couldn’t wait for you to get here. I’ve been thinking about you all day.”
He moaned and let his fingers travel south to Angel’s bulge. “I can tell.”
“You want to know what I was thinking about?”
More kisses down Xander’s neck, back up to his ear and a tongue pressed gently inside. “I was imagining you naked, lying on my bed, stroking your cock, begging me to fuck you.”
Angel rapidly pulled out of the embrace and turned Xander around, pushing him in the other direction. “I want you spread and waiting for me in the next thirty seconds.”
“Yes, sir,” Xander teased, playing along with the game.
He disappeared into the bedroom, quickly discarding his clothes and laid back onto the large bed. He spread his legs and rubbed his hand down his chest, over his abdomen and gripped his erection firmly, stroking up to the tip and back down to the base. He closed his eyes, imagining another hand pulling him to hardness, rubbing fingers over an oozing tip until there was enough wetness to allow slippery strokes.
He arched his back and thrust into his hand, opening his lids just wide enough to see Angel standing in the doorway, fully clothed with his cock pulled free from his jeans, working it steadily with his own hand.
“That looks nice,” Angel said, moving closer and climbing onto the bed. “Were you thinking about me?" He licked his lips. "Or were you thinking about that blond I saw you with at the club the other night?”
Xander stopped his motions. “Who?” And then it dawned on him. “Spike? We’re just friends.”
Angel slid up between Xander’s legs, taking the firm cock in his hands and began pumping it diligently. “Spike, huh. Seemed to be rather cozy friends.”
“Just friends,” Xander answered again with a moan as he closed his eyes to the feel of Angel’s hands.
“Friends that fuck?” he asked, quickening his pace.
“Mm hmm,” he moaned.
“Was that a yes?” Angel asked, pulling away and leaning over to grab a condom and bottle of lube from the table drawer. Xander didn't answer.
Angel rolled onto his back, handing the square package to Xander. He took it in his mouth, ripped the top and pulled the condom out. Expertly, he slid it over the dripping head and rolled it slowly down Angel's shaft. Annoyed by the fact that Angel was still fully clothed, he leaned down and began unbuttoning the long, black shirt, kissing the muscular chest and sucking hard nipples into his mouth.
Angel moaned and grabbed for the lube, pouring a generous amount into his hand and began massaging his cock.
"Gonna fuck you good, Xander."
Quickly, the younger man lifted himself to straddle Angel's legs. He winced a bit as he stretched his bruised ribs but then pushed the pain to the back of his thoughts. He pulled himself up to his knees, lined up his entrance and slowly sunk down onto Angel’s cock. Lubricated enough, he was able to take the whole length at once.
Angel let out a deep breath. Xander squeezed. Both men moaned.
Xander closed his eyes, pulled himself up and then slid back down, changing the angle slightly to gain more friction in just the right spot. He began a steady pace and continued to repeat the same movements.
Angel grabbed the hips moving on him and squeezed. "Oh, yeah. Ride me, Xander. Use my cock."
Xander sped up.
"That's good. Keep it going, just like that."
No more words, only the sounds of skin slapping together and male grunts until Angel whispered, "Have you fucked Spike this way?" He began thrusting upward, impaling himself harder into the tight hole. "Have you looked into those blue eyes, listened to that sexy accent and let him pound your ass into the mattress?"
Xander didn't answer. With his eyes still closed, he continued working himself on the large cock and grabbed his own, rubbing the pre-cum around for better stroking. He found a rhythm that matched his movements and listened to the voice below him.
"Has he sucked you off? Taken your cock inside his mouth and tongued you so hard you exploded? I bet he has, hasn't he? Answer me, Xander." He reached up, pushing Xander's hands away and began working the erection jumping and throbbing for release. "Answer me," he repeated. "Have you fucked him?!"
"Yes," Xander answered.
"Did you like it? Are you thinking about him now? Pretending he's the one inside that tight, hot hole? Wanting him to come inside you?"
"Yes," he hissed breathlessly.
Angel suddenly let go and roughly grabbed Xander's hips, pushing him onto his back, his cock still buried deep inside. Xander wrapped his legs around Angel's waist and held on, pushing his ass up for better penetration. Angel began a quickened pace, in and out, in and out faster, harder... as deep as he could plunge.
"You're such a fucking good piece of ass. So hot, so tight."
Xander managed a moan.
"I'm gonna come. Grab your cock and come with me."
Through the haze, Xander did as he was told and found his shaft, pulling and twisting, feeling his balls tighten and then finally release, spilling warm liquid between them. He felt Angel throbbing inside him and pulled him tighter with his legs, letting him climax deep inside.
Their bodies collapsed, Angel on top until they both caught their breath and managed to pull apart.
"Oh, fuck," Xander managed.
They laid silently, the sound of the ceiling fan making the only noise in the room. Angel rolled onto his side, lifting his head onto his elbow.
"Do you love him?"
"Does he know?"
"I don't love him, " he answered more forcefully. "We haven't even known each other that long."
"But you want him? Fantasize about him?"
Xander sighed. "What's with all the questions? Don't think it's any of your business."
"It is if you're fucking me and thinking about him."
They locked eyes.
"Look, Xander. I had a hunch is all. Played on it a bit. Thought it might get you off, and guess what... I wasn't wrong."
Xander shook his head and leaned back against the pillow. "So now what?"
"Nothing. We could go on pretending... giving a good show of getting to know each other, or you can tell Spike what you want."
"That's an excuse cowards use."
"No, it really is complicated. He's already with someone."
"And fucking you?"
Angel smiled. "Hmmm."
"Nothing. Just wondering why he's attached if he screws around."
Xander shrugged. "I haven't figured that one out."
"So, what exactly is going on with the two of you?"
"Haven't figured that one out either. The bummer is that it's gonna get worse. I'm moving into his place tomorrow."
Angel's eyes widened.
"Just for a place to stay," he explained. "And nothing's going on. Roommates. That's it."
"Yeah, uh huh. You don’t sound convinced."
Xander closed his eyes. "This is really fucked up."
"And you don't love him."
"No," he hesitated, "but I could."
"Then I think you have a problem. Good thing I’m willing to help."
Angel's hand began tracing circles over Xander's chest, dropping lower with each movement. He whisked fingers over hard stomach muscles, over abs recently flexed from their previous rutting, down to the flaccid cock resting in a dark nest of curls. His index finger slid slowly down the length making it jump and twitch at the touch.
"What's he like?"
"Hmm?" Xander asked leisurely.
"Spike. Tell me about him."
"Well, if I'm going to help you, I need to know some things. What's does he like? What’s he into?"
Xander grabbed and stopped the hand still gently pleasuring him and sat up on the bed.
"What are you planning?"
"Better if you didn't know just yet."
"Am I involved in this little scheme of yours?"
Angel unexpectedly rolled him over, pinning him to the bed with his larger frame.
"You're a major player, Xander. Can't catch the cat without the mouse."
"I guess I'm supposed to be the mouse in this scenario?"
Angel kissed him. "Are you going to let me fuck you again?" He pressed his hips into the other man, casually rubbing penis against awakening penis.
He received a moan and a shake of the head. "What if I said I wanted to fuck you instead?" Xander asked, pushing back.
"I'd say no."
Angel continued to work their erections together, weeping heads allowing for better movement against each other.
"Spike won't do that either."
"Won't? Or doesn't like to."
"Won't. Hasn't. Whatever."
"With anyone, apparently."
Angel silently filed that into memory.
"Some guys just don't enjoy it. Loss of power, I guess."
"Didn't say I don't, just not exactly what I’m in the mood for right now," he purred seductively.
"Mmmm… when you put it that way..."
Angel reached for another foiled packet from the bedside table and quickly sheathed his cock.
"And which way exactly would you like me to put it?"
He received a chuckle as Xander rolled onto his stomach. He slid onto his knees with his head buried into the pillow and wiggled his hips in the air.
"Mmmm, I like the way you think." Angel took the offered ass in his hands and began massaging the cheeks, pulling them apart with his fingers. He let go long enough to bring a middle finger to his mouth, sucking it in, coating it with saliva. He returned to the puckered opening and firmly pushed in. Bending the finger, exploring to find the soft, spongy spot he knew the other man would like, he received a muffled "Fuck!" and smiled.
Xander wrapped his arms around and bit into the pillow under his head. He squirmed and bucked backward, anxious for more. His reward came when another slick finger entered him, scissoring the tight channel to open it.
"I can't wait, Angel. I need your cock."
"Mine? Not Spike's?"
“He’s not here, is he?” he moaned, desperate and waiting.
“And wouldn’t that be interesting…” Angel exclaimed, as he wrapped his hand around his shaft and moved forward, teasing the hole with the tip of the head.
"Oh, god... will you just fuck me already?" Xander pushed back again, trying to impale himself without success.
"Say my name," Angel begged, pulling just out of reach.
Xander bit his lip.
"Say it. I want you to know who's fucking you."
"Good boy." He slid in, roughly burying his entire length to the hilt.
Xander moaned. Angel moved. They began a steady tempo, Angel ramming forward as Xander pushed back, deepening the angle each time they met.
At the same time, their hands fumbled to Xander’s cock, fighting for dominance. Angel finally won, gripping the hard member firmly in his hand and began stroking with an earnest effort to bring Xander off speedily. He grabbed a thigh with his free hand, using it as leverage to pound harder into the channel expertly squeezing and gripping his cock.
"Spike's an idiot not to want this. I'd fuck you every day, every position, every possible way you could think of..."
Xander's breathing sped, his hands twisting the pillow under him, his teeth biting fiercely to keep his voice from screaming out.
"I'd keep you here, naked. Then I'd come in and fuck you... You'd be bound of course, so I’d come inside your ass, your mouth, wherever I wanted because you'd be tied up and there'd be nothing you could do to stop me..."
Xander moaned and came, spurting streams of thick, milky cum over Angel's hand and onto the bed. Angel followed, yelling his own completion as he erupted inside the other man's body.
Xander collapsed onto the bed as Angel slid out, discarding the used condom.
"You are one sadistic son of a bitch, you know that?"
Angel grinned. "It got you off, didn't it?"
Xander sighed. "What the fuck is wrong with me? I'm here, with you and you really are amazing and everything, so why can't I stop thinking about him?"
"Some people just make an impression, I guess."
"I hardly know him, but since we met, I can't get him out of my head."
"So, what's he do? What's he into?"
Xander rolled over onto his back, letting the air from the fan brush over his heated body. "I think he likes to party, he's into music... has his own band... Other than that, I know he likes to fuck. Does that help with anything?"
Angel laughed. "Everyone likes to fuck, Xander."
"No, I think he pretty much makes a hobby of it. So see? I really don't think I have much of a shot here."
"Give yourself some credit," he noted seductively allowing his eyes to roam downward.
Xander blushed under the scrutiny.
"Okay, so he's in a band, he likes to fuck... what about this other person. He has a boyfriend?"
"Pfft… yeah, right. Try girlfriend."
Angel's brow crinkled. "That's... unexpected..."
”Considering how good he sucks cock, yeah.”
The comment warranted a chuckle. "Alright, first things first. You need to go home and pack. I'm going to be there tomorrow to help you move in."
"It's not much stuff, not enough..."
Angel cut him off. "Just go with it, okay? You want me to meet you at your place?"
"Sure, it's on campus, around noon."
They arrived in front of Spike's apartment building, Xander overly talkative with jittery anticipation. Deciding to forgo bringing in the heavier items first, they each grabbed a box and headed into the elevator. Xander pushed the button for the top floor and waited, tapping his foot impatiently. Standing in front of the sliding door of the apartment, he took a deep breath, wondering if Spike would be waiting for him on the other side. His hand rose to knock, and then stopped when he realized this was now his apartment too. He slid open the heavy door and walked inside, Angel following closely behind him, greeted by an empty room.
"I guess he's not here," Xander commented, setting his armful onto the floor.
"Hmm, well, I guess we should go ahead and get the rest of your things."
They quickly began trudging up and down, emptying the car and filling the corner of the large room. Xander made his way to the elevator for the last trip and ran face-first into Spike, who was stepping out. Their eyes met and Xander smiled.
"Almost done. Guess you timed that just right."
Spike held up the large, brown paper bag in his arms and dropped the half-smoked cigarette he'd been holding, grinding it onto the floor under his boot.
"Figured I'd get us a little moving-in offering to celebrate."
"Xander, where do you want..." Angel appeared in the doorway and stopped.
Spike frowned. Angel smirked. Xander turned around uncomfortably to the man in the doorway.
A hand was offered to Spike. "Hi, I'm Angel."
The stranger... the person Xander had been drooling and ranting about, the man who'd fucked him over a couch in a dark, music filled room full of fluorescent black lights was standing in his apartment, waiting to be greeted. He glanced at Xander and did the first thing that came to mind. He pretended not to know him and shook Angel's hand. "Spike."
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