First in the Fatal Promt!Verse

Fandom: BTVS; Spike/Xander
Prompt:  Wk 3 - Woolly
Warnings: Slash, Slightly AU – Takes place post season 4
Rating:  NC-17
Summary: Xander’s drunk, heart-broken and once again the victim of the demon du juor. It’s Spike to the rescue.

Proof Necessary


Xander was woolly-headed. There were multiple suspects for his condition. First, there were all the drinks he’d consumed after finding the “Dear Xan” letter Anya had left. Anya leaving him of course had prompted an emotional breakdown, but Xander was writing that off as a “person of interest” rather than a suspect.

The second suspect was possible head trauma he had suffered whenever the latest Sunnydale demon du jour had jumped him while stumbling home from Willie’s. Xander hadn’t been able to check yet, but he suspected another goose had nested on his head. He’d look for the tell-tale lump if it wasn’t for suspect number three; Xander was at the moment hanging up-side down. The hanging upside down was aiding and abetting suspect number two as the alcohol soaked blood pooled in Xander’s head.

Yes, while the Xan-man had ceased to be attractive to one demon, or ex-demoness, he had certainly managed to attract the attention of another one. And look, this demon had friends! Xan couldn’t tell for sure how many there were. Doubles from Budweiser-vision made it difficult to count, however there looked to be about ten scaly, horned and aqua-maroon demons making trilling and clicking noises around him.

Xander closed one-eye and tried to recount the demons before him. This time Xander counted eight demons. Ordinarily Xan might have burst out with, “Eight…count them! Eight ugly, scary demons!”

Xan did a wicked impersonation of the Count from Sesame Street. However he was inconveniently gagged at the moment. Now that Xan was taking stock of his situation he also noted his hands were bound with some sort of soft but unyielding leather. Bound at the wrists, his hands dangled more uselessly than normal in a life-threatening situation, over his head. Of further note, his shirt was missing.

See, Anya hun, Xander thought, even without you the Xan-man can still explore the wonderful world of bondage.

Xander twisted his head around and looked for his shirt. It was safer to keep his mind on such mundane goals as finding his shirt then wonder about the big brass bowl placed underneath him or how the trilling and clicking sounds were reminding Xander of chanting. Because if Xander started thinking of the trilling and clicking as chanting, then he might think of rituals and if Xander thought of rituals he might start thinking about how being suspended upside down over a big brass bowl in the middle of demon ritual was so very not of the good. Ah ha! There was his shirt, over in the corner by aqua-maroon goon number three!

“Oi,” a low and smooth voice said in a British accent, “Hope I’m interrupting sumthin'.”

The trilling and clicking grew agitated, Xander noted, and then as one the blue meanies turned to face Spike leaning against the doorway. Spike! Xander thought. What’s he doing here? And why is he upside down? Xander then remembered he was a) woolly-headed and b) the one who was upside-down.

“In English mates!” Spike ordered nearly in game face. “My Kaga is ‘bout as good as your Fyral!”

“Krryck! You interrupt?” asked blue meanie number one.

“Prior claim,” Spike answered as he entered the room.

“Prirrrrr Ckkkclaim?”

“Yeah,‘s wot I said innit?” Spike asked as he weaved his way among the blue goons to reach Xander and then sniffed.

Ew! Xander thought. I could do without the sniffing! And, hey, what does Spike mean “prior claim”? Xander cocked an eyebrow at Spike. And why should I care as long as the wonder boob gets me out of this?

“Gemmph mgg ona hrg!” Xander tried to shout through his gag.

Spike tilted his head so Xander good see him more or less up right and then smiled.

“Srryll-Kaga, no believe!” shouted the talkative demon.

“You doubtin’ me? I’m William the Bloody! The Big Bad!” Spike roared as he stood upright and vamped out. The demons closed ranks around Xander, the lead demon and suddenly sported four arms each with eight ten-inch sharp talons on the end of each of those arms.

Xander groaned. Spike wasn’t the Big Bad he was the Big Buffoon!

“Right. I can see how ya’d be wantin’ proof then,” Spike said quietly his face returned to its human form and he raised his hands up. “Bleedin’ Kaga demons. Always so touchy.”

“Krryck! Krryck! Prrrrrfff!”  shouted two or three of the Kaga demons.

The lead demon raised all four hands and the other demons lowered their voices.

“What Prrrrff?” he asked.

“Boy was a gift from me sire,” Spike answered. A soft trilling and clicking started up among the demons.

Gift from his sire! Dru? What was Spike talking about? What did Lady La-La have...? OH! Xander rolled his eyes as he remembered. Spike was talking about Deadboy! Spike was referring to that stupid bluff Angel had tried when Spike had first rolled into town. Angel had pretended to offer Xander to Spike.

The lead Kaga stepped up close to Xander and sniffed him.

What is with the sniffing!  Does Old Spice attract the demony?

“No smell,” noted the Kaga demon. Then he bent down and with a talon carefully touched both sides of Xander’s neck. Xander held his breath and closed his eyes as he felt the cool steel like feel of that talon run up and down over the arteries in his neck.

“No mark,” finished the demon as withdrew his talon, righted himself and turned to look back at Spike.

“Right, waitin’ for him to ripen a bit before I put my mark on ‘im. Humans! No good if ya claim ‘em too early,” Spike explained.

Xander’s eyes flew open wide. Mark? Claim? Not in this or the Bizzaro ‘verse!

“Krryck! Prrrrrfff!” The demons chanted again. Once again the lead demon gestured for silence, cocked its head at Xander and then back at Spike.

“Show masterrrrry. Body masterrrrry,” the demon ordered. “Krryck offering!”

Xander saw Spike’s eyes flash yellow for quick moment before he broke out into a wide grin.'Body mastery?'  What the hell did that mean?

“With pleasure, mate,” Spike said.

Suddenly, hanging upside-down didn’t seem so bad to Xander.


It didn't take long for the blue goons to get Xander down. Hello, Suspect number four! Blood rushed south from Xander's head and he felt himself gripped by vertigo. He started to stumble but was quickly gripped from behind by a vampire.

"Nks!" Xander uttered around his gag and shook his head trying to at least gather all the suspects in one place.

"Don't mention it," Spike replied as he stepped in closer behind Xander. Xander's back was now pressed to Spike's chest.

Meanwhile the Kaga demons had repositioned the big brass bowl in front of Xander and then stepped back into a semi-circle around the two former roommates. The trilling and clicking began again.

"Now pet, I know you usually are shy but tonight we are going to put aside your little hang-ups," Spike began to whisper in Xander's ear as he snaked an arm around Xander letting his hand splay low over Xander's stomach.

Shy? Hang-ups? Spike was trying to tell him something.  Xander made another effort to clear his muddled thinking.

"Our Kaga friends here," Spike continued to whisper in a low husky voice, "want proof of my claim on you, pet, as well as an alternative offering for their little gathering. And we're going to give it to 'em."

We are?

"Else they may go back to their original plan which involves Xander bits, blood and entrails and a little olive oil all in that shiny brass bowl there."

Ok, Xan-man's on board with the new plan! Xander thought as he looked again at the brass bowl in front of him.

"Ew an!" Xander squeaked.

Spike smiled and then began to move his hand in soft circle motions over the wonderfully warm Xander tummy.  Spike's cool skin left a trail of goose pimples on Xander's flesh. Xander's eyes widened. Manly bits! Spike's hand is on my naked flesh close to my manly bits which are....Hello! Too much blood went South too fast!

"IKE!" Xander shouted.

"Luv," Spike cooed as he snaked another arm around Xander to hold him tight. "The Kaga have asked for a demonstration of my mastery over your body and an offering so you are going to be a good pet and cum in a pretty show when I tell you."

Just for a moment Xander froze, the wool in his head making it difficult to process Spike's words. Spike didn't just say what I thought he said because what I thought he said couldn't be anything close to what I thought I heard because what I heard bore....

Spike's other hand trailed up from Xander's waist to begin to trace tighter and tighter circles around Xander's right nipple. Xander's nipple hardened into an accommodating bud even as Xander's brain finally caught up to what Spike said.

"OOO! NT! AY!" Xander shouted through his gag as he squirmed in Spike's grasp and tried to push Spike’s hand away with his bound ones. Spike held Xander firmly with one hand while he began to gently twist and rub Xander's happy little nub with the other. In addition, Spike stepped up his sensual assault by licking and nibbling Xander's ear.

Not good! OH good! Not good! Very good! OH...baaad! Who knew Spike’s hands were that talented?

Suspect number five, desire, was not helping with Xander's woolly-headedness. In fact, if Xander were able to bet at the moment, he'd bet his original series Star Trek lunch box that suspect number five would be found guilty of all charges of woolly-headedness.

Oh yes, Xander thought as Spike's wandering hand abandoned his right nipple to pay attention to his lonely left one. Suspect number five was going to be convicted on first degree charges.

Xander moaned when his second little nub was hard and at attention. Spike grinned as he lightly sucked and kissed Xander's neck.

Vampire! Sucking! Neck! Sobriety!

"Shh, pet. Not goin' ta bite ya," Spike calmed the once again squirming Xander. Can't anyway. Stupid bleedin chip."Just tastin' a bit. Love the way you taste. All sunshine and puppydogs you are."

"Ipppyoggs?" Xander said puzzled for a moment then remembered his sexuality was at risk. "Lll nt ay!"

“No one said you were, luv,” Spike said as he stroked that seductive hand up Xander’s neck. Chills ran down Xander’s spine and he unconsciously arched his neck to give Spike more petting room.

Apparently “Little Xander” never got the message about Xander not being gay because the more Spike stroked Xander’s neck. The bigger “Little Xander” started to grow.

“Trust me, luv,” Spike whispered before his other hand ventured south and made a passing acquaintance with “Little Xander.”

“Ike!” Xander hissed and arched his hips. Little Xander wanted to get to know Spike’s hand much better. Xander’s sexuality alarms were flashing red and ringing loud.

They had to stop this! And why was Little Xander so happy? Omigod! Anya? She did something, right? And…OH! Hello Spike’s hand again! Evil! Evil! Evil! Hand!

"Et eee oo, Eaad Ennrrate!" Xander shouted and squirmed as Spike once again ran his hand down Xander's thickening bulge. Spike smiled. He made out the attempted "Dead Degenerate" Xander tried to snark at him.

"Not now, pet," Spike cooed and held Xander until he settled down again. "No time for foreplay. Not when the audience with the long sharp claws is getting impatient"

Xander's attention sluggishly refocused on the gathered goons. Spike had a point. Unified front was good. Though Xander was pretty sure if there weren't so many programs competing for his CPU time he wouldn't be agreeing with Spike.

"So, let's make nice," Spike began accentuating his comments with little kisses on the back of Xander's neck. "And I'll take you home and put you to bed good and proper like."

Xander's brain was on overload. Xander really didn’t want to end up as icky bits in a brass bowl. Little Xander really wanted to get to know Spike’s evil hand better.  Any chance Xander had of finding the flaw, let alone the danger, in Spike's plan went southward with the rest of his blood.

“Trust me, luv,” Spike said again. Only this time there was no seduction in the tone. There was no mockery. There was only sincerity and some other emotion Xander wasn’t ever sure he’d heard in Spike’s voice before.

Alarms disengaged. Xander finally nodded. Spike smiled.

“Close your eyes, pet.” Xander did.

In that moment, Spike undid the button to Xander’s jeans and unzipped his fly. Spike hands caressed Xander’s hips while Spike began kissing and licking a trail down Xander’s spine.

Oh! Oh! Xander thoughts as little crackles of desire went straight from Spike’s kisses to Xander’s groin shutting down any higher brain function.

“It’s only you and me, yeah?” Spike said as his talented hands began to work Xander’s jeans and boxer shorts down his hips and long legs. “Just you and me pet. No one else. Just Spike and his Xanpet.”

Xander let himself be lulled by those words and hands. Xander didn’t let himself think about being stripped in front of a bunch of demons or that Little Xander was getting harder than he’d been in a long time; even with Anya. Xander just let himself hang on every word and every touch.

Just me and Spike…and the ever growin Little Xan.

Once Xander’s jeans were down around his ankles, Spike began to twine his hands up and around Xan’s well muscled legs. He danced those hands past Xander’s now full and aching cock and back up to his hips. Spike once again pressed himself close to Xander; Xander’s back to Spike’s chest.

One hand then moved up to caress and stroke Xander’s neck while the other moved south.

“Just goin ta give your todger there some of the attention its wantin now,” Spike whispered in Xander’s ear before he wrapped his hand around Xander’s shaft. Xander let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“That’s it luv. All you gotta do is follow my lead, yeah?”

Yeah! Just keep movin your hand like that Spike. Oh that’s it! Please, Spike... Just a little…

Xander whimpered as Spike rubbed Xander’s crown slicking Spike’s hand with pre-cum. Then Spike began to set up a steady rhythm up and down from Xan’s base to his wet crown. Over and over Spike stroked Xan until Xander forgot all about Kaga demons, “Dear Xan” letters or head lumps.

All Xander knew was Spike’s wonderfully evil hands and seductive voice.

“We’re almost there,” Spike purred as he stopped stroking Xander’s neck and moved his other hand down to gently caress and fondle “Little Xander’s” round and loyal side kicks. Xander unconsciously widened his stance a little so Spike had better access to fondle him. Spike caressed the delicate skin with cool practiced fingers and let them slide as far over Xander’s perineum as he could reach.

“Eaasse!” Xander panted into his gag. Xander could feel his balls tightening and the pressure building at the base of his spine.

“Get ready, luv,” Spike answered and then moved his hand away from Xander’s balls. Spike made a brief sucking sound. Then there was a wet finger burrowing its way between Xander’s ass cheeks.

“Ike?” Xander panted momentarily frozen at this unfamiliar sensation. What is….?

“Cum for me now, pet,” Spike answered and then brushed that wet digit over Xander’s puckered and sensitive hole while circling Xander’s leaking crown with his thumb.

Sensation ripped through Xander. Xander arched and screamed in that realm of pleasure, pain and sweet oblivion.

“IIIIIKKKKKKEEE!”  Xander cried as he finally sent longs streams of relief shooting over Spike’s hand with the excess dripping into the brass bowl below him.

“So sweet, luv,” Xander heard before he felt cool lips press themselves to his temple. Reality was returning to Xander after his powerful orgasm. Xan turned his head towards those lips and opened his eyes. For a moment Xander was hyper sensitive. He took in everything; the now faint trilling sound from the Kagas, the smell of sex, and the intensely mesmerizing sapphire blue of Spike’s eyes. Then Xander began to feel himself falling away as his body gave in from too much alcohol, too much grief, too much demon pounding and most of all too much Spike.

The last thing Xander saw before sliding into unconsciousness was Spike raising his hand and licking away Xander’s warm seed.  

“Sunshine and puppydogs,” was the last thing Xander heard before his world went peacefully black.


Xander came to with a start and then immediately grabbed the back of his head.

“Owww!” The concussion-hangover sensation would never catch on as the latest craze. As slowly as Xander could he looked around. He saw the edge of a familiar coffee table and an expanse of familiar ceiling.

“Huh?” The wool was rolling in again.

Xander grabbed the edge of the coffee table and used it to help pull himself in a seated position. Xander’s stomach immediately launched an investigation at this unauthorized activity. Xander ignored it for the moment and continued to look around.

I’m home.

Further analysis indicated that indeed Xander was home and fully clothed except for his shoes! That’s of the good and un-embarrassing if not completely puzzling, Xander thought.

Xander’s head joined in with his stomach’s protest as Xander stumbled to his feet. Xander continued to look around. He spotted his keys lying on the floor just a few feet away. His shoes were strewn about as if he’d just kicked them off.

Nausea and head pains vied for Xander’s attention but there was something he had to think about. Something he had to remember.

Spike! Omigod!

Xander spun around to look for the Undead Pervert and managed to trip and fall face first on to the couch. Pain and nausea reminded Xander they had override authorization for several long minutes. Finally, they agreed to turn control back over to Xander’s minimally functioning brain. It had been warned.

Xander made another attempt to examine his surroundings. A weak push-up followed by another bleary look around confirmed that Spike was not present.

What happened? Xander wondered as his stomach once again urgently reminded him it had grievances to air.

Xander remembered Willie’s. He thought he remembered Kaga demons but if all that had happened; where was Spike? Spike wouldn’t have missed his opportunity to mock Xander over this incident.

Almost on auto-pilot Xander got to his feet again. Was it possible it had been a terrible dream? Well mostly terrible.

Xander felt the lump on his head again. He did the equation; heartbreak plus alcohol plus drunken fall equals goose egg and dreams of the wacky. Ok, the insanely perverted wacky. It could have worked out that way. It had to have worked out that way. I can camp on the river 'Denial.'

“It was just a dream. A weird wacky dream which I will never think on again,“ Xander said as he finally listened to his head and stomach. Xander began the long stumble to the bathroom for aspirin and Alka Seltzer.


Spike leaned just outside Xander’s apartment smoking a cigarette while thinking and listening to Xander move around. The bint, Anya, had asked him earlier to help her move her stuff out of the whelp’s apartment giving Spike not only an invite into his boy’s place but a head’s up to watch out for him tonight. Bloody good thing too! Almost didn’t find him in time. Spike shuddered at the thought.

Still Spike had been there and he’d taken care of his boy. He’d taken care of him even after he passed out. Got ‘im home, cleaned ‘im up and….

“It was just a dream…” Spike heard Xander through the door. Spike smiled. That’s right, Harris.

"Just a dream, luv. A pleasant dream," Spike said quietly and smiled again. Then Spike sniffed his hand. It still smelled of the lingering sweet scent that was uniquely Xander. Spike was enough of a romantic, and a master vampire, to know that some days 'dreams really do come true.'  This night when Spike tossed off to the thought of his pet, he'd have Xander's scent on his hand.

With Xander safe and in denial, Spike started his jaunt home. Spike grinned as made his way to the crypt in the waning night. He still had the taste of Xander's living seed lingering in his mouth. Whelp is almost ready, Spike thought. He'd let his boy ripen a little longer in the sun before he plucked him.

The End

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