Pairing: Spike/Xander
Length: 2567 words
Spoilers: Takes place season 4/5-ish, but mentions things from season 6.
Summary: Xander catches Spike and Clem in a fib....
Notes: Written for [info]margarks, who requested schmoopy S/X sex with no kinks. Happy Birthday, Margie!
Feedback: It’s ALL about the feedback (and naked Spike)! Don’t make me beg, it’s not pretty.
Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel the series, characters and concepts are the property, copyright and trademark of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Kuzui Enterprises, Grr Argh, the WB, UPN and whomever else they really belong to. No ownership is claimed by the author. This work is nonprofit, noncommercial and not for sale for commercial purposes. Characters and situations not specifically owned by the creators of BtVS/Ats or under copyright, are the sole copyright of the author.
Written: February 12, 2005



When Xander pushed open the door to Spike’s crypt, Clem was standing beside Spike’s chair, his head tilted as he tried to make out the picture on the television. He glanced up when Xander stepped inside, and then turned most of his attention back to whatever he was trying to watch.

“Hey, Xander,” Clem greeted him distractedly.

“Clem. How ya doin’?” Xander responded as he pushed the door shut.

“Good, good,” Clem replied, though Xander could tell that his mind wasn’t really on their conversation.

“Where’s Spike?”

“Downstairs getting my ki—.” Clem froze.

“Your what?” Xander asked, confused.

Clem’s jowls were bouncing nervously. “My, um, uh, you know, that thing he borrowed.... Spike!” he called out, relieved when Spike’s head appeared out of the hole that led to the lower level. “Xander’s here!” Clem added.

“Uh, yeah, I can see that. Hey, Xan.” Spike offered a ghost of a smile as he climbed up the ladder. He turned to Clem. “Um, here’s your, uh....”

“Thing,” Clem prompted. “That you borrowed.”

“Right!” Spike handed a rolled-up towel to Clem. “Your thing, that I borrowed.”

Xander frowned. Spike and Clem were acting awfully suspicious over a towel. “You borrowed a towel?” he asked. He got a better look at the soiled towel and grimaced. “And you’re returning it dirty?”

“I like it that way,” Clem quickly interjected. “I give ‘em to Spike clean and he....” Clem broke off at Spike’s glare.

“I just used the towel to wrap the, uh, thing in because the soddin’...thing...nearly scratched me to death,” Spike explained.

“Yeah,” Clem agreed. “It has sharp cl—.”

“Edges,” Spike interrupted.

Xander still thought they were acting weird. What was the big deal if Spike was returning something he’d borrowed from Clem? Unless it was something evil, like, um, like.... Oh, he knew! Like a magical artifact that would open the hellmouth, or bring back Angelus, or....

Xander jumped when Spike slapped the back of his head, and said, “It’s not what you’re thinkin’, pet.”

“I’m not thinking!” Xander protested, automatically rubbing the back of his head, though he’d barely felt the smack. “It’s not evil, is it?” he asked in a small voice.

“Wouldn’t doubt it,” Spike muttered, at the same time Clem said, “No, of course not!”

A mewl broke the ensuing silence.

“What was that?” Xander asked nervously.

“What was what?” Clem asked.

“I didn’t hear anything,” Spike said.

Xander rolled his eyes. He pointed at the towel. “Whatever’s in there, it’s alive. You’re not selling baby demons, or anything, are you?” he demanded.

“‘Course not!” Spike declared. “I can’t believe you’d think that.... Xander, no!”

Xander stormed over to Clem and threw the towel back. There was snarling, and screaming, as a gray blur flew out of the towel and up Xander’s arm, claws digging into flesh.

“Oh, my god, what is it?” Xander screeched. “Get it off me, get it off!”

When he was finished pitching a fit, Xander realized that the gray demon was no longer clawing at him, nor was it trying to eat him, but had curled up on his shoulder and was...purring. He slowly turned his head and took a cautious look at the gray fur ball, then pinned Spike and Clem, who both looked guilty, with incredulous eyes.

“A kitten?” he accused. “What are you doing with a kitten?”



Spike rolled his eyes when Clem caved and told the truth.

“Poker?” Xander questioned. “What does a kitten have to do with poker?”

“It’s the...kitty, so to speak,” Clem explained.

Busy reaching around and loosening the kitten from his shirt, Xander didn’t register Clem’s words immediately. “The kitty?” he repeated once the tiny gray kitten was curled up in his hand. His eyes went wide with confusion when understanding finally hit. “You play poker for kittens?” When neither Spike nor Clem spoke, Xander pulled the kitten close to his chest. “Why?” he asked.

“They taste good,” Clem said, “especially with a little honey mustard sauce.... Ow!” he cried out when Spike slapped him.

“You eat them?” Xander asked, horrified.

“Not me!” Clem denied. “I’ve just...heard. I give them to nice homes, with children.”

Xander’s eyes narrowed. “That’s really nice of you, Clem. I’ll take this one.”

“What?” both demons demanded.

“B-b-but...,” Clem stammered.

“You’re not keeping that...that...menace!” Spike firmly asserted.

Xander ignored them as he examined his kitten. It was all gray, except for a white patch at the end of its tail and on its two front paws. “I think I’ll call him....” He lifted the cat up. “Her? It? Smokey,” he concluded, despite not knowing the sex of the kitten.

“Xaaan,” Spike whined piteously.

“You wanna stay with me and Spike, Smokey?” he cooed at the kitten, ignoring Spike.

“Oh, for hell’s sake,” Spike swore softly. “Here!” He stomped over to the corner and returned with a bottle of whiskey, and then dug a bill out of his pocket. “Get yourself a bucket of wings, or something,” he growled, handing them to Clem.

“Oh, gee, thanks, Spike,” Clem said, the loss of his kitten already forgotten.

“You won’t be sorry,” Xander told Spike, big brown eyes peering at him over the kitten. He’d learned the power of those eyes, and wasn’t afraid to use it.

Spike’s posture indicated that he wasn’t unaffected by the eyes, but he growled, “Better not be.”

As soon as Clem left, Spike said, “That thing’s not stayin’ here, it’s vicious.”

“He’s not vicious, he was just scared. Huh, pretty kitty?” Xander responded. Spike rolled his eyes. “Besides, I can’t take Smokey to the basement, so he has to stay here. And you need to babysit while I go buy a litter box and food. And toys.”

Before Spike could say ‘no’, Xander had deposited the kitten in his arms and was on his way to the door. “Xannn!”


Xander had cleaned off the last scratch, which was pretty deep, he had to admit, much deeper than he’d thought such a tiny kitten could inflict, and Spike still wasn’t speaking to him. When he’d returned to the crypt, Spike was sitting on the bed and drinking tequila straight from the bottle, while Smokey was nowhere to be seen. Xander had been dismayed to see the scratches covering Spike’s arms and neck, but when he tried to look at them, Spike pulled away and glared at him.

Leaving Spike to his anger, and hoping he’d calm down by the time he was finished, Xander set about locating Smokey and tempting him out from under the bed. Once Smokey had been introduced to his litter box, food dishes, and bed—which he refused to lay in until Xander padded it with his t-shirt—Xander turned his attention to Spike, who was still pouting on the bed. He gathered the medical supplies before approaching Spike, and then began to clean the scratches, wiping the blood off and putting antibiotic cream on the worst of them, even though Spike gave him a look that snarled, “Vampire, you nit!”

Satisfied with his work, Xander set the first aid kit aside and sat on the bed beside Spike. He leaned into Spike and tapped his forehead on Spike’s shoulder while Spike pretended to ignore him. “I’m sorry you and Smokey aren’t getting along,” he said. “But look at him....” Both men turned to look at the innocent-looking kitten. “He’s so cuuuute! How could we let him go to kitten poker?” Xander shuddered at the thought.

“He’s hell spawn,” Spike asserted.

“Shh! Don’t say that!” Xander covered Spike’s mouth just as Spike had been bringing the bottle of tequila up for another swig. At Spike’s scowl, Xander removed his hand. “Sorry.”

After Spike had taken a drink, Xander held his hand out for the bottle. Spike gave him a suspicious glare. Xander waggled his fingers. “I want a drink.”

Spike snorted in disbelief, but handed the bottle over anyway. Xander took a sip, grimaced, and then set the bottle on the bedside table.

“Wasn’t done with that,” Spike said.

Ignoring Spike’s irritability, Xander turned so he could lean his chest against Spike’s arm, and placed his hand over Spike’s firm pectoral. “Let me make it up to you?” he asked.

“Not sure that’s possible,” Spike replied, but Xander had noticed the slight tensing of the muscle under his hand, and knew that Spike’s icy demeanor was thawing. He leaned over to nuzzle at Spike’s neck—luckily the side that wasn’t sporting a scratch—and Spike was kind enough to tilt his head to make Xander’s task easier.

“What if I try really,” he paused and punctuated his words with a wet kiss to Spike’s throat while he fingered Spike’s nipple, “really,” a suck, “hard?” He purred the last word and then simultaneously gently nipped Spike’s neck and pinched his nipple.

“Bloody hell, Xander! I’m still mad at you,” Spike insisted, as he wiggled around to get more comfortable now that his jeans were fitting a bit too tight.

“No, you’re not,” Xander whispered, breathing on Spike’s neck, his hand slipping down Spike’s body until it was pressing against Spike’s hard-on. “You forgive me ‘cause you love me.” He squeezed, and Spike’s head fell back against the headboard.

“Yeeesss,” Spike moaned. “I forgive you, but I-I won’t for-forget.”

“Bet I can make you forget,” Xander promised, levering himself up so he could reach Spike’s mouth. They kissed until Xander had to pull away to breathe.

“H-how?” Spike asked.

“How what?”

“How’re you gonna make me forget?”

“You can still think after that kiss?” Xander asked in disbelief.

“I’ve got incentive,” Spike replied, “so let’s get with the program, yeah? You’ve got your work cut out for you.”

Xander raised his eyebrows. “Get with the program?” he repeated.

Spike cut him off by squeezing Xander’s crotch. “The program,” he said, “where you make me forget.”

“Forget what?” Xander moaned.

Spike laughed. “I’m supposed to forget, you git.”

“Okay, okay,” Xander breathlessly replied. He pushed Spike’s hand away, and then clumsily straddled Spike’s legs. He leaned down and kissed the other side of Spike’s neck. Spike flinched.

“Careful, there.”

“Don’t be such a baby,” Xander replied, gently licking along the scratch. “Besides, I thought you liked a little pain with your pleasure.”

“Not from that...hellcat,” Spike pouted. “Now, if you were to scratch m’ back ‘cause I was fucking you into next week, that I’d like,” he clarified with a smirk. Xander smirked back.

“Thought we’d already done that,” he said.

“We have. Often. Could do it again, though,” Spike suggested eagerly.

Xander rocked his hips. “Or you could let me take care of you tonight.”

“Could do that,” Spike groaned his agreement.

Xander lifted the hem of Spike’s t-shirt, and then pulled it over his head when Spike raised his arms. He slid down Spike’s legs and slid his hands around Spike’s back. He lowered his head to Spike’s chest, covering it with kisses, then licking and sucking until Spike was covered with little hickeys. Xander nipped at one nipple, and then the other, then moved down to Spike’s abdomen.

While he was tickling Spike’s belly with little licks, Xander brought one hand around and fumbled with Spike’s belt buckle. His triumphant yell when he finally got it unbuckled was muffled against Spike’s skin. He then made short work of the button and zipper, making happy noises when Spike’s cock jumped into his hand.

“Mmm, look what I found,” Xander purred, and then began licking Spike’s shaft.

“Oh, hell, Xan,” Spike groaned, lifting his hips in an attempt to get Xander to take him into his mouth.

Xander stopped licking and looked up at Spike with those deadly brown eyes. “Have you forgotten yet?” he asked.

“Forgotten what?” Spike asked.

Xander grinned, and then swallowed Spike.

“Oh, yeah, just like...that,” Spike moaned.

While he suckled, Xander tapped Spike’s hip. When Spike lifted up, Xander pulled his jeans down his thighs. He gripped Spike’s hip with one hand, and reached between his legs with the other. Xander carefully fondled Spike’s balls, then reached behind them, stroking the smooth skin, and then forcing his finger between Spike’s clenched cheeks.

“Stop teasing and get in there,” Spike growled. Xander smiled around Spike and continued to work his finger until he was able to stroke the tip over Spike’s hole. At Spike’s moan, Xander pressed gently, then stroked again, feeling the muscle relax under his touch.

“Get up here!” Spike tugged at Xander’s shoulders and Xander allowed himself to be pulled up Spike’s body until their lips met. The kiss was wet and sloppy and urgent, but no less sweet for all that. While they kissed, Spike used one hand to hold Xander’s head in place and the other to remove the final barrier between them.

When Xander’s cock had been freed, he lowered himself onto Spike so that their groins met. “Lube?” he asked against Spike’s lips.

Spike fumbled in his jeans’ pocket and then produced the tube. Having done this before, Xander unscrewed the cap, and then Spike squeezed the lube onto Xander’s fingers. Xander warmed it between his fingers before applying it to Spike and himself, and then wiped his fingers on Spike’s belly.

Xander settled himself onto Spike and then began to move, gently thrusting against Spike’s belly. Spike grasped Xander’s ass and lifted his hips. Their cocks brushed, and both men moaned.

“Harder,” Spike urged. “Come on, Xander, harder!” Spike punctuated his request with a finger between Xander’s cheeks. He wasn’t sure when Spike had gotten lube on it, but stopped caring as soon as it slid inside him.

“Oh, fuck,” he groaned. Xander latched onto Spike’s neck and sucked as he pumped faster, driving his cock hard against Spike.

Spike’s searching finger found Xander’s prostate, and Xander screamed around the flesh in his mouth, biting down. He tasted blood, and let his tongue flick over the wound. Spike went taut beneath him as Xander suckled at the bite, and his finger pressed hard against Xander’s nub. Xander cried out at the constant stimulation and desperately slammed his cock against Spike.

Xander felt Spike’s cock twitch, and then shot after shot of semen sprayed between them. As his body relaxed, Spike’s finger moved off Xander’s prostate, which was just what Xander needed to send him spiraling after Spike.

When they could move again, Spike used his t-shirt to clean them both up. They got under the blankets with Spike on his back and Xander snuggled up against his side, his arm thrown over Spike’s stomach, and his leg thrown over both of Spike’s. “That was nice,” he mumbled.

Xander was just about under when he heard the mewling. He tried to ignore it, then finally poked Spike. “What’s he want?”

“He wants our nice, comfy bed,” Spike replied, “but he’s not getting it.”

They settled down to sleep once more, but the plaintive meows continued. Spike finally moved away from Xander and reached down for the kitten. “Just for tonight,” Spike growled as he deposited Smokey on Xander’s shoulder.

The kitten looked around the room from its perch, and then climbed daintily down onto Spike’s chest. Smokey sniffed at Spike and Xander before he curled up on Spike’s chest and fell asleep. Xander smiled to himself. Looks like he had some competition for his favorite resting place.

“Quit your grinning,” Spike snarled sleepily, which only made Xander smile wider.

The End

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