It was amazing what humans could heal from. A bit of
Master's blood, a visit from the demon healers and they were
as good as new. Okay, they might flinch a bit when you came close
– couldn't write the memories of a good thrashing from
their minds that easily, and really, would you? Wasn't the
point that they accepted that Master could do that to them just
because he felt like it? Hell, a bit of fear tasted good on the
air. Considering the body swaying in front of him, Spike nodded
to himself. This was definitely the way to go – he had to
do this, if only to find out why the boy had woken today
whimpering and going on about Pack....
HE was gone. She wasn't sure how she felt about HIM. Was HE
the new alpha of the pack? HE fed, clothed, dominated and mated
with them. He'd marked them – although not in a manner
totally acceptable to her because he had had others hold them
down. It felt wrong like HE had cheated. She wanted to dip
her head to HIM but she wanted the chance to fight HIM and HIM
win absolutely, with no assistance. It was..... confusing. And
all of this talk of leaving, returning to the place with the
fuzzy bad feelings that made her vessel constantly hum nervously
– she wanted things resolved before they returned there. HE
would have to be made aware of the right way to do things.
“Boy keeps going on about pack. Now unless you want to lose
another layer of skin, Red, I suggest you fill me in. Don't
fancy another barmy one after my Dark Plum...”
Willow whimpered in her chains, tears dripping down her face. She
wanted to protect Xander, she really did, but this was so far out
of the realm of her experience. Drusilla had never whipped her
– bitten her, yes. Made her feel a wealth of confusing
emotions that challenged her views on her sexuality. But no
physical violence ever. She screamed as Spike laid the whip on
once more, aware of her skin peeling from her back in long
threads. God, would no one save her from this?
“He isn't anything special – he went for coffee
and and donuts and things. He's just Xander. Please, I
don't know what to tell you!” She screamed once more as
he flicked the whip, whimpering as the tip licked around her body
to lay a stripe over her hip.
“...'m not gonna keep asking. Don't care how
important Peaches thinks your magic is – if I have to flay
you alive, pour blood down your gob to revive you and start
again, I bloody well will. Now tell me!!”
“I'll tell you, please no more – whatever you
want to hear, I'll tell you!” Snot, spit and tears
streaked her face as she was turned roughly in her hanging chains
to face Spike again.
“Better, pet, much better. So spill – not got all
day. Boy's gonna wake up soon and I wanna know if I'm
gonna have to kill him or not.”
“NO!! Please please don't kill him!! It's not his
fault – he was possessed by ….by a primal hyena!
Giles – we thought we'd exorcised it but
but.....Xander's just Xander! Please, you don't
understand – he's nothing special, he's just there
– always been there to help us and support us. God, I beg
you, don't - ”
“A fuckin' Primal?! Well well. Bet Peaches doesn't
know about this. Don't think he'd have handed the boy
over if he'd known that one. Right, better get you back to
Dru. Never know when she's gonna get pissed at what I've
done to her dolls.”
“I'm not a DOLL!” The rage was unexpected, and
Spike turned back to her. So whatever spirit that made the witch
back up the Slayer hadn't completely been knocked out of her.
Interesting. Spike allowed his hands to trace down the slight
curves of her body, enjoying the feel of her smooth white skin
beneath his hands as she hung helplessly in her chains. He
stroked her, digging nails into the bleeding shoulder blades
before sliding round to the front of her body. Her breasts were
small but very nicely formed, pretty pink nipples hard and
pouting in the cool air. He plucked them gently, smirking as a
waft of pheromones hit him.
Spike stepped up close, sniffing at her neck. “God, she
lucked out with you didn't she? Wouldn't mind tasting ya
meself but think I might just have my hands full with the
boy.” He walked around behind her, leaning forwards and
licking the damaged skin of her back. “You taste spicy,lil
witch – part my Dark Princess and part something else.
Maybe I'll convince Dru that we three should play
sometime.” In a lightning change of mood, he stepped back,
throwing the whip into the corner and gesturing to a minion in
the doorway. “You! Take her down and return her to Mistress
Dru's quarters. And ya better not be sneaking a taste –
Dru tends to just know these things and she don't like
sharing. Bye Red.”
Sobbing, Willow twirled slowly in her bonds, shaking with fear
and adrenaline and wondering if she had done her lifelong friend
a favour or a disservice.
The boy was not on the bed where Spike had expected to find him,
and slamming the door closed he looked quickly round the room. In
the furthest corner from the door Xander was crouched naked, eyes
locked to Spike. Scenting the air, Spike was aware of a sense of
'other' and wondered if it really was the hyena the witch
had told him about. A long talk with Queen C had filled him on
more details, and he had a better idea of what had happened and
why the boy was going on about pack. Looked like the bonding
ceremony had released a few things as well which meant Spike
wasn't dealing with a bog standard human. Made things a mite
more interesting.
“'ello Pet. Wasn't sure you'd be up an'
about so soon but I've learnt some interesting things about
you today, I 'ave. Wonder if it's you I'm talking to.
Wanna come here and have a bit of a chat?” Xander's lip
curled, his hands clenched into fists and he growled, eyes
sparking green and Spike mentally rubbed his hands together.
Looked like he was right – wasn't just the boy
in there.
“You own US now?” The slurred tones didn't match
the voice he expected from his boy, and Spike hesitated.
“Who's us then?”
“WE are one. The vessel is hiding – your actions have
sent him away. But WE are here and need to know what you
intend.”
“Not sure you're in a place to negotiate mate, and I
ain't talking to an anonymous possession. Name
yourself.”
“Names hold power. I would have your name before WE give
ours.”
“Name's William the Bloody, Spike, Slayer of Slayers
and Master of the Hellmouth.”
“OUR name is Itanya Kilinda. WE are bonded to Alexander and
protect him in times of need.”
“Wassat mean then?”
“OUR name stands for Protector of Hope. WE are important in
ways you cannot imagine. Your actions will define what
happens.”
“I know what's gonna happen. You're mine,
Pet. Sire gave ya to me, bonded to me demon. So dunno what ya
think you're gonna achieve by fighting me.”
“You did not claim US fairly. You had others assist you
– that is not the way, not acceptable. If you cannot claim
US through your own strength, you cannot claim US at all.”
The voice was sneering, brushing off the bonding ceremony as
nothing. Spike's demon prowled restlessly within him, angered
at this denial. No-one was going to take his bonded away from
him, not without a fight. And it was more than ready to stake a
personal claim with no assistance required. “If you cannot
make US submit, WE will lead this pack and WE will not return to
this Hellmouth of which you speak.”
Before Spike could take another step into the room, the boy
sprang at him with almost lethal animal grace. Taking the hit,
Spike allowed himself to be knocked to the floor, turning
smoothly so that Xander landed at the bottom. The boy snarled at
him, a loud grunt escaping as he hit the floor before he
head-butted Spike and scrambled away.
Morphing to his true face, Spike smiled. Oh this was so much more
fun than he had had in a long time. There was no fear emanating
from the boy but there was a whole lot of anger/confusion/lust
– a cocktail that had his dick rising in his jeans in
anticipation. Maybe the whelp would be a worthy opponent instead
of just a fucktoy. They stared at each other, assessing weakness
as they both crouched to the floor. Ha! Telegraphing his move
Spike leapt to take advantage as the boy charged sideways, giving
a grunt of surprise as he went the opposite way – nice
feint but not enough to beat vampire speed or strength.
Adjusting, he rammed his shoulder into the boy's stomach,
smashing him into the far wall as they travelled the length of
the room.
Xander was growling and snarling, using his hands to dig into
Spike's back at the same time as he tried to bite a chunk out
of the vampire's cheek. Snapping his teeth in Spike's
face, he tried to knee the vampire in the balls, putting his
whole weight behind the blow. It was his downfall, Spike shifting
to take the blow to his thigh, shoving Xander round until he
slapped his head on the wall.
“Ya ain't gonna win, but you're welcome to try
Pet.” Laughing snidely, Spike stepped back, giving the boy
his freedom. Xander looked over his shoulder warily, shaking off
the dazed feeling from smacking his head into the wall. His human
face sliding back, Spike smiled again then made a beckoning
gesture with his hand, knowing it would annoy the crap out of his
pet.
Growling at Spike's arrogance, Xander leapt at him again.
Throwing his whole weight into Spike, they crashed to the floor,
rolling and tumbling around the room as they struggled for
dominance. They destroyed a table, knocked over some chairs and
ended up at the fireplace, Xander face-down with Spike on top of
him. Panting for unneeded breath, Spike shoved the boy's
knees apart and pressed his rampant cock into the heaving arse
beneath him. Nibbling at the nape of Xander's neck, sweeping
the damp, sweaty strands of hair aside, he whispered in the
boy's ear.
“Ooooh Pet, that was fun. Not had a proper dance in
a while and that was a good one. Know what's gonna happen
now?”
Chest heaving, Xander pushed back with his thighs trying to throw
Spike off of him, whining as it made no difference.
“Now, Pet, I'm gonna tie ya to that bed and I'm
gonna claim my prize good and proper. No drugs, no minions, just
me an' you and whoever else you've got in residence cos I
won fair and square.”
Spread-eagled on the bed, wrists and ankles shackled, Xander
whined and bucked. He could feel Spike's cool, hard body
along the length of his, the sharp fangs slicing down his spine.
A thin line of blood pricked up, marking where Spike had
travelled. Xander shuddered as a cool, raspy tongue lapped up his
spine, cleaning away every trace of blood.
“Taste right good, ya do Pet. All dark and crisp, desert
sand n'night sky. Finer than some o'the best wines. Can
taste the hyena in ya, can taste the power – ya must
'ave been some kinda demon magnet cos ya smell like food and
sex and everything a demon could want. Gonna be mine, luv, gonna
belong only to me – don't care if I have to break ya
into little pieces n'rebuild ya to suit meself. Gonna fuck ya
n'own ya n'never let ya go – don't care if
it's the hyena or the whelp – just don't
care!”
Xander cried out as Spike bit his ass, hands squeezing the taut
cheeks as he decorated every inch of it with teeth marks. He
clenched defensively as Spike began to pull the cheeks apart,
shouting incoherently as he felt that raspy tongue lapping up the
cleft of his ass. Xander grabbed the headboard as the vampire
began to eat out his ass, nibbling, biting and sucking before the
strong tongue forced it's way through the resisting muscles
to thrust deeply.
He whined as he felt Spike release one ass cheek and slide a
slender finger from the top of his ass to the guiche piercing,
tweaking it from side to side, before moving back up and shoving
into his ass. Fuck, it felt huge, that one finger wriggling and
pushing until he felt it press against that special place inside
him that made sparks go off behind his closed lids and his hips
buck helplessly into the bed.
Xander could feel various places on his body oozing blood, from
his ankles to his neck all bearing the marks of Spike's
teeth. His mind was in a state of confusion : he was there but he
was not, almost watching what was happening to his body from the
sidelines even whilst he was experiencing it all. It felt right
in an uncomfortable way, better than the previous night when
minions had held him down; better than the drugged haze of the
bonding ceremony. This was how it should be done, a claiming in
blood after a submission well earned, although Xander
couldn't explain why it was right.
A persistent twist of the finger in his ass, pressure as it was
joined by another, and he couldn't think anymore.
The blood was hypnotic, fizzing and crackling on his tongue and
heightening all of his senses. The boy tasted of darkness and
light combined, of ancient power, of lust and Spike was as hard
as a rock as he licked, sucked and marked his boy from top to
bottom. His demon was riding him hard, wanting more of the blood,
wanting to stake an irrefutable claim.
Sliding up the bed and laying himself completely over
Xander's body, Spike whispered in his ear.
“Ya gonna submit then? Gonna admit that you're mine and
you lost. I won, and you are going to bow your head to me.”
A subvocal growl was Xander's only response and he tossed his
head, trying to catch Spike with his teeth. Spike chuckled
– oh even now his pet wasn't going to make things easy
– tying him to the bed had been a struggle he had heartily
enjoyed, the heated limbs and body pushing against his. He looked
down the length of his boy's body, his demon almost purring
at the visible evidence of his ownership.
Ducking his head once more, Spike spoke into Xander's ear.
“You're tied arse up on my bed. I won this, fair and
square. You will submit to me and ya know it.” Xander
whimpered, holding his body taut for a few more moments, then
suddenly he relaxed, sinking into the bed and dipping his head to
the side, baring his neck to Spike.
Biting into his own wrist, Spike shoved it in front of the
boy's face, a heated moan coming from him as the boy
instantly attacked the limb, sucking at the bite mark. He could
feel the blunt human teeth nibbling and gnawing at the jagged
edges, making it bleed further. Unable to shake off his true
face, Spike realised he was growling loudly as he shoved his
knees between the boy's, spreading his legs wider. Reaching
between their bodies he flicked the buttons of his jeans and
tugged his cock out, giving a sigh of relief at being free.
“ENOUGH!” Yanking his arm free, wincing at the tear
of flesh as the boy refused to let go, Spike shifted down the
bed, pushing Xander's knees up. The primal within the boy had
submitted – tasting and accepting his blood. Now it was his
turn. With no further warning, he struck, digging his fangs into
the flesh high on Xander's inner thigh. He threw his head
back and roared, the primal blood rushing through his system like
a grade A drug. Biting into his other wrist, he covered his hand
in blood and slicked his cock. Grabbing Xander's hips, he
pulled the boy up onto his knees then pried his cheeks apart once
more.
He wasn't going to damage his property any more than he had
to – he had too much respect for the fight the primal had
put up – but there needed to be blood. Everything came back
to the blood in the end. Digging into his pocket, he took out a
small tube of lube and squirted a dollop hastily into the
boy's crack, smearing it around the spasming hole winking at
him between the smooth cheeks. With no further preamble, he lined
his cock up and thrust all the way in.
The howl that came from the boy was eerie, his head lowered to
the pillow, the whooping sound coming from his mouth setting
Spike's hair on end. His cock was surrounded by such heat it
bled into him, searing into his bones as he began a heavy,
thrusting rhythm. He hooked his hands over Xander's
shoulders, tugging the heaving body back towards him with each
thrust, hips snapping back and forth as he fought towards his
orgasm.
Blanketing the boy's body, he mouthed, lipped and bit at the
broad back, sliding his hand through the blood that oozed
sluggishly from each wound. Wrapping his arm around the trim
waist, he reached for and grabbed the boy's cock, sliding his
fingers over the tip, soaking his hand with the pre-come that was
practically flowing from it. Goddamn, the boy was hot, and
whether this was the primal, the boy, or a combination of both,
he didn't give a flying fuck – he wasn't giving
this up for anyone.
Ramming himself in as deep as he could go, Spike jacked the
throbbing cock quickly, a smile splitting his face as the eerie
howl echoed through the room once more and the boy screamed his
way through a body shaking orgasm. The tight clench of the
boy's ass muscles practically sucked the come out of him, and
he wrapped his come and blood stained hands around the boys hips
and held him tight as he jerked once, twice and then he shot into
the steaming hole.
Rolling off of the panting body onto the bed, he looked over and
smirked. Xander's chest was heaving, face buried in the
pillow, his body decorated all over with bite marks, blood and
come. It was a beautiful sight and Spike's demon purred
within him. Fuck yeah, the Master of Sunnydale was coming home
and bringing with him the Slayer's minion and a primal demon
as his claimed mate. The demons at the Hellmouth would have no
clue what had hit them.
“You have claimed US.” The voice was more slurred
than previously, but the words were still clear, the boy's
head now turned towards him. Spike looked up at the boy's
face, enjoying the look of the flushed cheeks, the red pouty
mouth and dazed eyes. No, the voice didn't match what the
body was saying, but the words were more than agreeable to
him.
“Too fucking right I have.”
“WE accept, William the Bloody, Spike, Slayer of Slayers
and Master of Sunnydale. WE will aid you in keeping your
territory.” Spike laughed, tucking his cock back into his
trousers and buttoning himself up.
“An' just how do ya think you can aid me?”
“How else do you think the Slayer lasted as long?”
Cocking his head, Spike looked the boy in the eye once more.
Could this boy be part of the reason the Slayer had lasted so
long? If his Sire hadn't ended her, would she have been one
of the oldest Slayers?
“Easy for ya to say, Pet. Proof is in the puddin'
an'all that.”
“As you say. WE will prove our worth to you. But you have
work to do also.” Head propped up on his elbow, Spike ran
his fingers through some of the stains decorating his boy, the
come and blood mingling and drying in patterns over the tanned
flesh.
“I know I've got work to do. Peaches wants me
runnin' the Hellmouth, make myself proper Master of
Sunnydale.”
“No. WE mean you must make Xander accept your claim. And
perhaps that will be harder for you to do than claiming
Sunnydale.”
“Well bloody hell!”
Staking the minion, Angelus slammed the door and stomped over to
the bed. He threw himself down, ignoring the annoyed sound that
came from his Queen. Folding his arms beneath his head, he turned
towards her, eyes travelling the length of her slim, golden body
as she stretched out on her side of the bed.
“Loud, much. If you're going to have a tantrum, take it
outside. I have no interest in watching you brood.” Ah,
there was his sharp tongued Queen.
“I am not brooding, but I don't like the news the
minion brought to me.” Rolling to his side, Angelus ran his
hand down her body, curving long elegant fingers around her
breast before squeezing hard. He smiled at her gasp, lurching
back as she raked her nails across his face, narrowly missing his
eye. “Bitch.”
“Broody bastard. Okay, fine. What news?”
“Disturbing news about the Slayer line. When you were part
of those ridiculous Scoobies, did you ever hear the name Faith
Lehane?”
Itanya means Hope and Kilinda means Protector in Swahili
Thoughts of a watcher
Locked in a box, his ears plugged so that the only thing he
could hear was his own heartbeat. A steady thump in his ears.
There was no blindfold. No need of one when he was kept so
completely and utterly in the dark, and how ironic was that since
the Council had done such an amazing job of that very thing for
years. He wondered if they were returning to England or whether
Ethan had settled in the States. Perhaps he wanted to stay close
to his new allies.
The tears surprised him. He had thought he had none left.
Watching his life destroyed before his very eyes – the loss
of his surrogate daughter and the metamorphosis of Willow into a
instrument of darkness had broken something inside him. He
couldn't bring himself to consider what might be happening to
Xander. Not now he knew exactly how much control Ethan had over
him, that he could see and hear all of the thoughts in Giles'
head like watching a television screen.
“Bloody hell, Ripper, you should have buggered him when you
had the chance. Of course, now, well I would imagine he's
been handed over to his new master. Shame – no doubt you
would have made his first experience something special, something
to be treasured. After all, I should know since you did that for
me.
“Did you think you loved him, old chap? Did it take you
back to the good old days when we were young and innocent? Not
that you're really innocent though is it?? You may think you
wiped the taint of Eygon from you, but believe me, it's
visible.
“Left me behind without a second glance didn't you? And
now, you've left him behind to his fate. Will they share him,
do you think? Pass him round the family til he's broken and
worn out, then hand him over to the minions? Tsk tsk, old boy, no
need to cry. How about a cup of tea? No? Right then, time to shut
the lid again. Try to breathe shallow, no knowing when the oxygen
may run out.”
He had never suffered from claustrophobia before but he was
pretty sure he would by the end of this journey. Somehow he
didn't think he would care by then. Every time he closed his
eyes, images of Xander being beaten and raped by Angelus and his
vampire flunkies flashed before him and the tears threatened to
choke him. Xander – recklessly brave, foolhardy, mouthy
Xander at the mercy of Angelus after all of his taunting of
Angel. His only protection a witch who had been swayed to the
dark side with an ease that had scared Giles to his very soul.
How long had that been hidden by perky helpfulness? Ethan had
barely flexed his chaos muscles to effect the binding to
Drusilla.
Was it terribly wrong of him to hope that the lid never be
removed and he simply be allowed to die?
He knew he couldn't hide in his head forever. SHE
wouldn't allow it – was already making noises about him
coming out of his funk and playing a fuller role in pack. As SHE
put it, if he didn't make his worth known, how was Pack
Leader meant to value him? Huh, as if he would ever accept Spike
as Pack Leader – it would take more than a drugged rape and
an over-active hyena possession for him to accept Spike as
anything even resembling his leader.
But they were returning to Sunnydale and he realised it meant he
would be completely and utterly alone. Giles was gone – who
knew where – and he was trying very very hard not to think
of how the man might be suffering. Buffy was dead – there
was going to be no magic spell to bring her back to life, no
sacrifice they could make, prayers they could chant so that
suddenly she would pop out of heaven and make things right again.
Willow might be alive but she couldn't help him. He
wasn't sure if she would even if she could. The last time he
had seen her, she had seemed – different. It was hard to
put his finger on why.
Firstly Willow had flinched away from Spike which was strange
because like him, she didn't take the bleached menace
seriously as a threat. There was something so human about
Spike that he just didn't give off major vampire menace
– well not normally. But something had happened
because when he and Spike entered the great hall, Willow had gone
paler (if that were possible) and tried to hide herself behind
Drusilla. Even after Spike presented himself to his Grand-sire
and Queen and informed them that he intended to return to the
Hellmouth and bring it officially under the control of the House
of Aurelius, Willow hadn't reacted. She hadn't reached
out to him, tried to say goodbye – nothing.
It made him feel completely abandoned, and it was only then that
he realised that some small part of him had expected that they
would find a way, like they always had before. That he and Willow
would be able to do something, anything, to escape their demon
rulers and make a run for it – join the Resistance, make a
difference. It was only then that he realised – and
accepted – that Willow had given up. She had wholeheartedly
accepted her role as belonging to Drusilla, complete with collar
and nervous obedience – and he felt like he had eaten
broken glass. There was no one left. Any attempt to escape, make
a difference was going to have to come from him and him alone.
And what could he do? He was just the Zeppo, the bringer of
coffee and donuts, the maker of the inappropriate comment that
brought nothing to the conversation and barely raised even a
giggle in the latter stages of things.
He accepted being loaded into the car with no resistance, staring
through the necro tinted windows and ignoring Spike as he and
another demon got in on the other side. He vaguely wondered if
the chauffeur was a vampire but decided he actually didn't
care. He didn't care about anything anymore – he just
wanted to be left in peace. He got the feeling a big part of his
attraction for Spike was in having one of the Slayer's own
and in breaking him. Maybe Spike would leave him alone once he
realised Xander was already broken. He wondered what happened to
vampire's toys that were broken? Did they throw them away?
Kill them? Eat them? Share them with minions? He really
didn't know. Curling up on the seat, vaguely surprised that
he wasn't shoved onto the floor, he looked out of the window
and prepared to watch the world go by. His own family never
wanted him, and his new family had pretty much left him behind
before it had been destroyed – he just wanted to be left
alone to grieve.
Guess the boy didn't realise that the claim meant he could
sense what was going on in his head. Spike smiled to himself
– the boy might be acting broken, might even be
feeling a bit broken but he was far from it. Spike had
scented so many different things from him during the course of
the evening, he was starting to be able to read him quite
well.
Hatred for Angelus which wasn't surprising really. A little
bit of lust in there too, which grew when he looked at the new
Queen – bit o'history there. Sadness when he looked
over at Red which would make sense – she was too busy
hiding from Spike to take the chance to say goodbye to her
lifelong friend. That had to hurt – he vaguely remembered
the boy from before and he got the feeling that if the situation
were reversed, the boy would have risked more than a beating to
say goodbye. Loyalty like that wasn't to be ignored, and
Spike could use that. But first, first he had to get his pet used
to the idea that belonging to Spike wasn't necessarily a bad
thing.
He turned and spoke to the Quaestor that had climbed into their
car, obviously planning to talk finance to Spike all the way to
Sunnydale.
“Listen, mate, not interested in the money talk now, yeah?
Get yourself in another car and once we get to Sunnydale I want
you to go over the entire financials and let me know who's on
the take, who's just too stupid to be on the take, and who we
can trust until we get our own people in – got it?”
The demon nodded mutely then was unceremoniously kicked out of
the car before it sped away leaving him stranded.
Mentally rubbing his hands together, Spike turned once more to
his new pet. From what Queen C had said, the poor lad was used to
being used, abused then rejected – by his family, his
so-called friends, hell, even by her when she was human. He was
loyal to a fault, always ready and willing to give love, effort
and time to those he loved and Spike wanted all of that for
himself. The boy was obviously feeling cut adrift, definitely
something Spike could work with. He needed to reel the boy in
carefully – play on his emotions, get him dependent on all
of the things Spike had to offer, and pretty soon his Pet would
be his body and soul.
“Come over 'ere Pet.” Xander looked over his
shoulder at Spike, then returned his eyes to the window. Spike
felt a spurt of temper and barely restrained himself from
grabbing the boy by his long dark hair and dragging him across
the seat. Instead, he sighed, then shifted over until he was next
to the boy. “Pet?”
“What?” The tone was belligerent but underlying it
was weariness. Ah, the aroma of despair was beautiful.
“You looked like you needed.....” A few moments
silence, then the boy couldn't help himself.
“Needed what?”
Spike shrugged. “Dunno. You just seemed a bit alone, yeah?
Know how that feels – lost my Dark Plum to the poof when he
came back without his soul. Tossed aside cos I was no use
anymore, wasn't needed anymore. Huh, was always the runner up
prize, never the first one chosen. An' it don't matter
how many years I devoted to her, how much time and love and
effort I put into keepin' her safe, keepin' her happy, it
was never enough. Kinda makes you feel like you're not worth
anything to no-one, that they've all just left ya behind and
you're all alone.” While he was speaking, Spike gently
eased Xander over towards him with an arm around his shoulder,
moving slowly, so slowly until the boy was lying with his head in
Spike's lap. Carding his fingers through the heavy curls,
Spike lowered his voice as he went in for the kill.
“I'da done anything for her, anything. But it was never
enough – no matter what I lost because of it, what it did
to me. Just got left behind – oh, they still call ya when
they need summat. Still make the right noises. But they don't
really want ya around. Not anymore. You remind them of what they
have left behind, what they think they are above. They forget
what ya lost, what ya gave up for 'em. Just – guess I
just wanted ya to know ya weren't alone. Yeah, I'mma
demon and there's not been much in the way of choice in this,
for either of us. But – ya know I'll never leave ya
behind. Ya know that I want ya – if I didn't, you'd
be dead by now. I want summat of my own, ya know? Want
someone's that's gonna see what I've got to offer and
offer me summat in return. Don't wanna be used anymore
– want..... I want to be loved for meself. I want.... I
want a family of my own.” He paused, waiting. Had he gone
too far? Pushed too hard, too soon?
Xander nodded and Spike scented salt in the air as the boy
finally released his tears, shoulders shaking as he succumbed to
all the fear, hurt and pain inside of him, let out his grief. A
smile crossed Spike's face and he turned to look out of the
window so the boy wouldn't see it. Got ya pet.