His & His Alone


Part Three

It was amazing what humans could heal from. A bit of Master's blood, a visit from the demon healers and they were as good as new. Okay, they might flinch a bit when you came close – couldn't write the memories of a good thrashing from their minds that easily, and really, would you? Wasn't the point that they accepted that Master could do that to them just because he felt like it? Hell, a bit of fear tasted good on the air. Considering the body swaying in front of him, Spike nodded to himself. This was definitely the way to go – he had to do this, if only to find out why the boy had woken today whimpering and going on about Pack....


HE was gone. She wasn't sure how she felt about HIM. Was HE the new alpha of the pack? HE fed, clothed, dominated and mated with them. He'd marked them – although not in a manner totally acceptable to her because he had had others hold them down. It felt wrong like HE had cheated. She wanted to dip her head to HIM but she wanted the chance to fight HIM and HIM win absolutely, with no assistance. It was..... confusing. And all of this talk of leaving, returning to the place with the fuzzy bad feelings that made her vessel constantly hum nervously – she wanted things resolved before they returned there. HE would have to be made aware of the right way to do things.


“Boy keeps going on about pack. Now unless you want to lose another layer of skin, Red, I suggest you fill me in. Don't fancy another barmy one after my Dark Plum...”

Willow whimpered in her chains, tears dripping down her face. She wanted to protect Xander, she really did, but this was so far out of the realm of her experience. Drusilla had never whipped her – bitten her, yes. Made her feel a wealth of confusing emotions that challenged her views on her sexuality. But no physical violence ever. She screamed as Spike laid the whip on once more, aware of her skin peeling from her back in long threads. God, would no one save her from this?

“He isn't anything special – he went for coffee and and donuts and things. He's just Xander. Please, I don't know what to tell you!” She screamed once more as he flicked the whip, whimpering as the tip licked around her body to lay a stripe over her hip.

“...'m not gonna keep asking. Don't care how important Peaches thinks your magic is – if I have to flay you alive, pour blood down your gob to revive you and start again, I bloody well will. Now tell me!!”

“I'll tell you, please no more – whatever you want to hear, I'll tell you!” Snot, spit and tears streaked her face as she was turned roughly in her hanging chains to face Spike again.

“Better, pet, much better. So spill – not got all day. Boy's gonna wake up soon and I wanna know if I'm gonna have to kill him or not.”

“NO!! Please please don't kill him!! It's not his fault – he was possessed by ….by a primal hyena! Giles – we thought we'd exorcised it but but.....Xander's just Xander! Please, you don't understand – he's nothing special, he's just there – always been there to help us and support us. God, I beg you, don't - ”

“A fuckin' Primal?! Well well. Bet Peaches doesn't know about this. Don't think he'd have handed the boy over if he'd known that one. Right, better get you back to Dru. Never know when she's gonna get pissed at what I've done to her dolls.”

“I'm not a DOLL!” The rage was unexpected, and Spike turned back to her. So whatever spirit that made the witch back up the Slayer hadn't completely been knocked out of her. Interesting. Spike allowed his hands to trace down the slight curves of her body, enjoying the feel of her smooth white skin beneath his hands as she hung helplessly in her chains. He stroked her, digging nails into the bleeding shoulder blades before sliding round to the front of her body. Her breasts were small but very nicely formed, pretty pink nipples hard and pouting in the cool air. He plucked them gently, smirking as a waft of pheromones hit him.

Spike stepped up close, sniffing at her neck. “God, she lucked out with you didn't she? Wouldn't mind tasting ya meself but think I might just have my hands full with the boy.” He walked around behind her, leaning forwards and licking the damaged skin of her back. “You taste spicy,lil witch – part my Dark Princess and part something else. Maybe I'll convince Dru that we three should play sometime.” In a lightning change of mood, he stepped back, throwing the whip into the corner and gesturing to a minion in the doorway. “You! Take her down and return her to Mistress Dru's quarters. And ya better not be sneaking a taste – Dru tends to just know these things and she don't like sharing. Bye Red.”

Sobbing, Willow twirled slowly in her bonds, shaking with fear and adrenaline and wondering if she had done her lifelong friend a favour or a disservice.


The boy was not on the bed where Spike had expected to find him, and slamming the door closed he looked quickly round the room. In the furthest corner from the door Xander was crouched naked, eyes locked to Spike. Scenting the air, Spike was aware of a sense of 'other' and wondered if it really was the hyena the witch had told him about. A long talk with Queen C had filled him on more details, and he had a better idea of what had happened and why the boy was going on about pack. Looked like the bonding ceremony had released a few things as well which meant Spike wasn't dealing with a bog standard human. Made things a mite more interesting.

“'ello Pet. Wasn't sure you'd be up an' about so soon but I've learnt some interesting things about you today, I 'ave. Wonder if it's you I'm talking to. Wanna come here and have a bit of a chat?” Xander's lip curled, his hands clenched into fists and he growled, eyes sparking green and Spike mentally rubbed his hands together. Looked like he was right – wasn't just the boy in there.

“You own US now?” The slurred tones didn't match the voice he expected from his boy, and Spike hesitated.

“Who's us then?”

“WE are one. The vessel is hiding – your actions have sent him away. But WE are here and need to know what you intend.”

“Not sure you're in a place to negotiate mate, and I ain't talking to an anonymous possession. Name yourself.”

“Names hold power. I would have your name before WE give ours.”

“Name's William the Bloody, Spike, Slayer of Slayers and Master of the Hellmouth.”

“OUR name is Itanya Kilinda. WE are bonded to Alexander and protect him in times of need.”

“Wassat mean then?”

“OUR name stands for Protector of Hope. WE are important in ways you cannot imagine. Your actions will define what happens.”

“I know what's gonna happen. You're mine, Pet. Sire gave ya to me, bonded to me demon. So dunno what ya think you're gonna achieve by fighting me.”

“You did not claim US fairly. You had others assist you – that is not the way, not acceptable. If you cannot claim US through your own strength, you cannot claim US at all.” The voice was sneering, brushing off the bonding ceremony as nothing. Spike's demon prowled restlessly within him, angered at this denial. No-one was going to take his bonded away from him, not without a fight. And it was more than ready to stake a personal claim with no assistance required. “If you cannot make US submit, WE will lead this pack and WE will not return to this Hellmouth of which you speak.”

Before Spike could take another step into the room, the boy sprang at him with almost lethal animal grace. Taking the hit, Spike allowed himself to be knocked to the floor, turning smoothly so that Xander landed at the bottom. The boy snarled at him, a loud grunt escaping as he hit the floor before he head-butted Spike and scrambled away.

Morphing to his true face, Spike smiled. Oh this was so much more fun than he had had in a long time. There was no fear emanating from the boy but there was a whole lot of anger/confusion/lust – a cocktail that had his dick rising in his jeans in anticipation. Maybe the whelp would be a worthy opponent instead of just a fucktoy. They stared at each other, assessing weakness as they both crouched to the floor. Ha! Telegraphing his move Spike leapt to take advantage as the boy charged sideways, giving a grunt of surprise as he went the opposite way – nice feint but not enough to beat vampire speed or strength. Adjusting, he rammed his shoulder into the boy's stomach, smashing him into the far wall as they travelled the length of the room.

Xander was growling and snarling, using his hands to dig into Spike's back at the same time as he tried to bite a chunk out of the vampire's cheek. Snapping his teeth in Spike's face, he tried to knee the vampire in the balls, putting his whole weight behind the blow. It was his downfall, Spike shifting to take the blow to his thigh, shoving Xander round until he slapped his head on the wall.

“Ya ain't gonna win, but you're welcome to try Pet.” Laughing snidely, Spike stepped back, giving the boy his freedom. Xander looked over his shoulder warily, shaking off the dazed feeling from smacking his head into the wall. His human face sliding back, Spike smiled again then made a beckoning gesture with his hand, knowing it would annoy the crap out of his pet.

Growling at Spike's arrogance, Xander leapt at him again. Throwing his whole weight into Spike, they crashed to the floor, rolling and tumbling around the room as they struggled for dominance. They destroyed a table, knocked over some chairs and ended up at the fireplace, Xander face-down with Spike on top of him. Panting for unneeded breath, Spike shoved the boy's knees apart and pressed his rampant cock into the heaving arse beneath him. Nibbling at the nape of Xander's neck, sweeping the damp, sweaty strands of hair aside, he whispered in the boy's ear.

“Ooooh Pet, that was fun. Not had a proper dance in a while and that was a good one. Know what's gonna happen now?”

Chest heaving, Xander pushed back with his thighs trying to throw Spike off of him, whining as it made no difference.

“Now, Pet, I'm gonna tie ya to that bed and I'm gonna claim my prize good and proper. No drugs, no minions, just me an' you and whoever else you've got in residence cos I won fair and square.”


Spread-eagled on the bed, wrists and ankles shackled, Xander whined and bucked. He could feel Spike's cool, hard body along the length of his, the sharp fangs slicing down his spine. A thin line of blood pricked up, marking where Spike had travelled. Xander shuddered as a cool, raspy tongue lapped up his spine, cleaning away every trace of blood.

“Taste right good, ya do Pet. All dark and crisp, desert sand n'night sky. Finer than some o'the best wines. Can taste the hyena in ya, can taste the power – ya must 'ave been some kinda demon magnet cos ya smell like food and sex and everything a demon could want. Gonna be mine, luv, gonna belong only to me – don't care if I have to break ya into little pieces n'rebuild ya to suit meself. Gonna fuck ya n'own ya n'never let ya go – don't care if it's the hyena or the whelp – just don't care!”

Xander cried out as Spike bit his ass, hands squeezing the taut cheeks as he decorated every inch of it with teeth marks. He clenched defensively as Spike began to pull the cheeks apart, shouting incoherently as he felt that raspy tongue lapping up the cleft of his ass. Xander grabbed the headboard as the vampire began to eat out his ass, nibbling, biting and sucking before the strong tongue forced it's way through the resisting muscles to thrust deeply.

He whined as he felt Spike release one ass cheek and slide a slender finger from the top of his ass to the guiche piercing, tweaking it from side to side, before moving back up and shoving into his ass. Fuck, it felt huge, that one finger wriggling and pushing until he felt it press against that special place inside him that made sparks go off behind his closed lids and his hips buck helplessly into the bed.

Xander could feel various places on his body oozing blood, from his ankles to his neck all bearing the marks of Spike's teeth. His mind was in a state of confusion : he was there but he was not, almost watching what was happening to his body from the sidelines even whilst he was experiencing it all. It felt right in an uncomfortable way, better than the previous night when minions had held him down; better than the drugged haze of the bonding ceremony. This was how it should be done, a claiming in blood after a submission well earned, although Xander couldn't explain why it was right.

A persistent twist of the finger in his ass, pressure as it was joined by another, and he couldn't think anymore.


The blood was hypnotic, fizzing and crackling on his tongue and heightening all of his senses. The boy tasted of darkness and light combined, of ancient power, of lust and Spike was as hard as a rock as he licked, sucked and marked his boy from top to bottom. His demon was riding him hard, wanting more of the blood, wanting to stake an irrefutable claim.

Sliding up the bed and laying himself completely over Xander's body, Spike whispered in his ear.

“Ya gonna submit then? Gonna admit that you're mine and you lost. I won, and you are going to bow your head to me.” A subvocal growl was Xander's only response and he tossed his head, trying to catch Spike with his teeth. Spike chuckled – oh even now his pet wasn't going to make things easy – tying him to the bed had been a struggle he had heartily enjoyed, the heated limbs and body pushing against his. He looked down the length of his boy's body, his demon almost purring at the visible evidence of his ownership.

Ducking his head once more, Spike spoke into Xander's ear. “You're tied arse up on my bed. I won this, fair and square. You will submit to me and ya know it.” Xander whimpered, holding his body taut for a few more moments, then suddenly he relaxed, sinking into the bed and dipping his head to the side, baring his neck to Spike.

Biting into his own wrist, Spike shoved it in front of the boy's face, a heated moan coming from him as the boy instantly attacked the limb, sucking at the bite mark. He could feel the blunt human teeth nibbling and gnawing at the jagged edges, making it bleed further. Unable to shake off his true face, Spike realised he was growling loudly as he shoved his knees between the boy's, spreading his legs wider. Reaching between their bodies he flicked the buttons of his jeans and tugged his cock out, giving a sigh of relief at being free.

“ENOUGH!” Yanking his arm free, wincing at the tear of flesh as the boy refused to let go, Spike shifted down the bed, pushing Xander's knees up. The primal within the boy had submitted – tasting and accepting his blood. Now it was his turn. With no further warning, he struck, digging his fangs into the flesh high on Xander's inner thigh. He threw his head back and roared, the primal blood rushing through his system like a grade A drug. Biting into his other wrist, he covered his hand in blood and slicked his cock. Grabbing Xander's hips, he pulled the boy up onto his knees then pried his cheeks apart once more.

He wasn't going to damage his property any more than he had to – he had too much respect for the fight the primal had put up – but there needed to be blood. Everything came back to the blood in the end. Digging into his pocket, he took out a small tube of lube and squirted a dollop hastily into the boy's crack, smearing it around the spasming hole winking at him between the smooth cheeks. With no further preamble, he lined his cock up and thrust all the way in.

The howl that came from the boy was eerie, his head lowered to the pillow, the whooping sound coming from his mouth setting Spike's hair on end. His cock was surrounded by such heat it bled into him, searing into his bones as he began a heavy, thrusting rhythm. He hooked his hands over Xander's shoulders, tugging the heaving body back towards him with each thrust, hips snapping back and forth as he fought towards his orgasm.

Blanketing the boy's body, he mouthed, lipped and bit at the broad back, sliding his hand through the blood that oozed sluggishly from each wound. Wrapping his arm around the trim waist, he reached for and grabbed the boy's cock, sliding his fingers over the tip, soaking his hand with the pre-come that was practically flowing from it. Goddamn, the boy was hot, and whether this was the primal, the boy, or a combination of both, he didn't give a flying fuck – he wasn't giving this up for anyone.

Ramming himself in as deep as he could go, Spike jacked the throbbing cock quickly, a smile splitting his face as the eerie howl echoed through the room once more and the boy screamed his way through a body shaking orgasm. The tight clench of the boy's ass muscles practically sucked the come out of him, and he wrapped his come and blood stained hands around the boys hips and held him tight as he jerked once, twice and then he shot into the steaming hole.

Rolling off of the panting body onto the bed, he looked over and smirked. Xander's chest was heaving, face buried in the pillow, his body decorated all over with bite marks, blood and come. It was a beautiful sight and Spike's demon purred within him. Fuck yeah, the Master of Sunnydale was coming home and bringing with him the Slayer's minion and a primal demon as his claimed mate. The demons at the Hellmouth would have no clue what had hit them.

“You have claimed US.” The voice was more slurred than previously, but the words were still clear, the boy's head now turned towards him. Spike looked up at the boy's face, enjoying the look of the flushed cheeks, the red pouty mouth and dazed eyes. No, the voice didn't match what the body was saying, but the words were more than agreeable to him.

“Too fucking right I have.”

“WE accept, William the Bloody, Spike, Slayer of Slayers and Master of Sunnydale. WE will aid you in keeping your territory.” Spike laughed, tucking his cock back into his trousers and buttoning himself up.

“An' just how do ya think you can aid me?”

“How else do you think the Slayer lasted as long?” Cocking his head, Spike looked the boy in the eye once more. Could this boy be part of the reason the Slayer had lasted so long? If his Sire hadn't ended her, would she have been one of the oldest Slayers?

“Easy for ya to say, Pet. Proof is in the puddin' an'all that.”

“As you say. WE will prove our worth to you. But you have work to do also.” Head propped up on his elbow, Spike ran his fingers through some of the stains decorating his boy, the come and blood mingling and drying in patterns over the tanned flesh.

“I know I've got work to do. Peaches wants me runnin' the Hellmouth, make myself proper Master of Sunnydale.”

“No. WE mean you must make Xander accept your claim. And perhaps that will be harder for you to do than claiming Sunnydale.”

“Well bloody hell!”


Staking the minion, Angelus slammed the door and stomped over to the bed. He threw himself down, ignoring the annoyed sound that came from his Queen. Folding his arms beneath his head, he turned towards her, eyes travelling the length of her slim, golden body as she stretched out on her side of the bed.

“Loud, much. If you're going to have a tantrum, take it outside. I have no interest in watching you brood.” Ah, there was his sharp tongued Queen.

“I am not brooding, but I don't like the news the minion brought to me.” Rolling to his side, Angelus ran his hand down her body, curving long elegant fingers around her breast before squeezing hard. He smiled at her gasp, lurching back as she raked her nails across his face, narrowly missing his eye. “Bitch.”

“Broody bastard. Okay, fine. What news?”

“Disturbing news about the Slayer line. When you were part of those ridiculous Scoobies, did you ever hear the name Faith Lehane?”

Itanya means Hope and Kilinda means Protector in Swahili

Tangent 1

Thoughts of a watcher

Locked in a box, his ears plugged so that the only thing he could hear was his own heartbeat. A steady thump in his ears. There was no blindfold. No need of one when he was kept so completely and utterly in the dark, and how ironic was that since the Council had done such an amazing job of that very thing for years. He wondered if they were returning to England or whether Ethan had settled in the States. Perhaps he wanted to stay close to his new allies.

The tears surprised him. He had thought he had none left. Watching his life destroyed before his very eyes – the loss of his surrogate daughter and the metamorphosis of Willow into a instrument of darkness had broken something inside him. He couldn't bring himself to consider what might be happening to Xander. Not now he knew exactly how much control Ethan had over him, that he could see and hear all of the thoughts in Giles' head like watching a television screen.

“Bloody hell, Ripper, you should have buggered him when you had the chance. Of course, now, well I would imagine he's been handed over to his new master. Shame – no doubt you would have made his first experience something special, something to be treasured. After all, I should know since you did that for me.

“Did you think you loved him, old chap? Did it take you back to the good old days when we were young and innocent? Not that you're really innocent though is it?? You may think you wiped the taint of Eygon from you, but believe me, it's visible.

“Left me behind without a second glance didn't you? And now, you've left him behind to his fate. Will they share him, do you think? Pass him round the family til he's broken and worn out, then hand him over to the minions? Tsk tsk, old boy, no need to cry. How about a cup of tea? No? Right then, time to shut the lid again. Try to breathe shallow, no knowing when the oxygen may run out.”

He had never suffered from claustrophobia before but he was pretty sure he would by the end of this journey. Somehow he didn't think he would care by then. Every time he closed his eyes, images of Xander being beaten and raped by Angelus and his vampire flunkies flashed before him and the tears threatened to choke him. Xander – recklessly brave, foolhardy, mouthy Xander at the mercy of Angelus after all of his taunting of Angel. His only protection a witch who had been swayed to the dark side with an ease that had scared Giles to his very soul. How long had that been hidden by perky helpfulness? Ethan had barely flexed his chaos muscles to effect the binding to Drusilla.

Was it terribly wrong of him to hope that the lid never be removed and he simply be allowed to die?

Part Four

He knew he couldn't hide in his head forever. SHE wouldn't allow it – was already making noises about him coming out of his funk and playing a fuller role in pack. As SHE put it, if he didn't make his worth known, how was Pack Leader meant to value him? Huh, as if he would ever accept Spike as Pack Leader – it would take more than a drugged rape and an over-active hyena possession for him to accept Spike as anything even resembling his leader.

But they were returning to Sunnydale and he realised it meant he would be completely and utterly alone. Giles was gone – who knew where – and he was trying very very hard not to think of how the man might be suffering. Buffy was dead – there was going to be no magic spell to bring her back to life, no sacrifice they could make, prayers they could chant so that suddenly she would pop out of heaven and make things right again. Willow might be alive but she couldn't help him. He wasn't sure if she would even if she could. The last time he had seen her, she had seemed – different. It was hard to put his finger on why.

Firstly Willow had flinched away from Spike which was strange because like him, she didn't take the bleached menace seriously as a threat. There was something so human about Spike that he just didn't give off major vampire menace – well not normally. But something had happened because when he and Spike entered the great hall, Willow had gone paler (if that were possible) and tried to hide herself behind Drusilla. Even after Spike presented himself to his Grand-sire and Queen and informed them that he intended to return to the Hellmouth and bring it officially under the control of the House of Aurelius, Willow hadn't reacted. She hadn't reached out to him, tried to say goodbye – nothing.

It made him feel completely abandoned, and it was only then that he realised that some small part of him had expected that they would find a way, like they always had before. That he and Willow would be able to do something, anything, to escape their demon rulers and make a run for it – join the Resistance, make a difference. It was only then that he realised – and accepted – that Willow had given up. She had wholeheartedly accepted her role as belonging to Drusilla, complete with collar and nervous obedience – and he felt like he had eaten broken glass. There was no one left. Any attempt to escape, make a difference was going to have to come from him and him alone. And what could he do? He was just the Zeppo, the bringer of coffee and donuts, the maker of the inappropriate comment that brought nothing to the conversation and barely raised even a giggle in the latter stages of things.

He accepted being loaded into the car with no resistance, staring through the necro tinted windows and ignoring Spike as he and another demon got in on the other side. He vaguely wondered if the chauffeur was a vampire but decided he actually didn't care. He didn't care about anything anymore – he just wanted to be left in peace. He got the feeling a big part of his attraction for Spike was in having one of the Slayer's own and in breaking him. Maybe Spike would leave him alone once he realised Xander was already broken. He wondered what happened to vampire's toys that were broken? Did they throw them away? Kill them? Eat them? Share them with minions? He really didn't know. Curling up on the seat, vaguely surprised that he wasn't shoved onto the floor, he looked out of the window and prepared to watch the world go by. His own family never wanted him, and his new family had pretty much left him behind before it had been destroyed – he just wanted to be left alone to grieve.


Guess the boy didn't realise that the claim meant he could sense what was going on in his head. Spike smiled to himself – the boy might be acting broken, might even be feeling a bit broken but he was far from it. Spike had scented so many different things from him during the course of the evening, he was starting to be able to read him quite well.

Hatred for Angelus which wasn't surprising really. A little bit of lust in there too, which grew when he looked at the new Queen – bit o'history there. Sadness when he looked over at Red which would make sense – she was too busy hiding from Spike to take the chance to say goodbye to her lifelong friend. That had to hurt – he vaguely remembered the boy from before and he got the feeling that if the situation were reversed, the boy would have risked more than a beating to say goodbye. Loyalty like that wasn't to be ignored, and Spike could use that. But first, first he had to get his pet used to the idea that belonging to Spike wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

He turned and spoke to the Quaestor that had climbed into their car, obviously planning to talk finance to Spike all the way to Sunnydale.

“Listen, mate, not interested in the money talk now, yeah? Get yourself in another car and once we get to Sunnydale I want you to go over the entire financials and let me know who's on the take, who's just too stupid to be on the take, and who we can trust until we get our own people in – got it?” The demon nodded mutely then was unceremoniously kicked out of the car before it sped away leaving him stranded.

Mentally rubbing his hands together, Spike turned once more to his new pet. From what Queen C had said, the poor lad was used to being used, abused then rejected – by his family, his so-called friends, hell, even by her when she was human. He was loyal to a fault, always ready and willing to give love, effort and time to those he loved and Spike wanted all of that for himself. The boy was obviously feeling cut adrift, definitely something Spike could work with. He needed to reel the boy in carefully – play on his emotions, get him dependent on all of the things Spike had to offer, and pretty soon his Pet would be his body and soul.

“Come over 'ere Pet.” Xander looked over his shoulder at Spike, then returned his eyes to the window. Spike felt a spurt of temper and barely restrained himself from grabbing the boy by his long dark hair and dragging him across the seat. Instead, he sighed, then shifted over until he was next to the boy. “Pet?”

“What?” The tone was belligerent but underlying it was weariness. Ah, the aroma of despair was beautiful.

“You looked like you needed.....” A few moments silence, then the boy couldn't help himself.

“Needed what?”

Spike shrugged. “Dunno. You just seemed a bit alone, yeah? Know how that feels – lost my Dark Plum to the poof when he came back without his soul. Tossed aside cos I was no use anymore, wasn't needed anymore. Huh, was always the runner up prize, never the first one chosen. An' it don't matter how many years I devoted to her, how much time and love and effort I put into keepin' her safe, keepin' her happy, it was never enough. Kinda makes you feel like you're not worth anything to no-one, that they've all just left ya behind and you're all alone.” While he was speaking, Spike gently eased Xander over towards him with an arm around his shoulder, moving slowly, so slowly until the boy was lying with his head in Spike's lap. Carding his fingers through the heavy curls, Spike lowered his voice as he went in for the kill. “I'da done anything for her, anything. But it was never enough – no matter what I lost because of it, what it did to me. Just got left behind – oh, they still call ya when they need summat. Still make the right noises. But they don't really want ya around. Not anymore. You remind them of what they have left behind, what they think they are above. They forget what ya lost, what ya gave up for 'em. Just – guess I just wanted ya to know ya weren't alone. Yeah, I'mma demon and there's not been much in the way of choice in this, for either of us. But – ya know I'll never leave ya behind. Ya know that I want ya – if I didn't, you'd be dead by now. I want summat of my own, ya know? Want someone's that's gonna see what I've got to offer and offer me summat in return. Don't wanna be used anymore – want..... I want to be loved for meself. I want.... I want a family of my own.” He paused, waiting. Had he gone too far? Pushed too hard, too soon?

Xander nodded and Spike scented salt in the air as the boy finally released his tears, shoulders shaking as he succumbed to all the fear, hurt and pain inside of him, let out his grief. A smile crossed Spike's face and he turned to look out of the window so the boy wouldn't see it. Got ya pet.