Fulfilling a Fantasy
Spike remains on his knees in front of Xander. When Xander recovers from his orgasm, he starts petting Spike again. Spike keeps his head down and tries to ignore Xander’s hand, but then that hand is under his chin and tilting his face upward. Xander studies his face and smiles.
“God, you’re beautiful like this—covered in my spunk.”
Spike shivers, but doesn’t speak.
“And that was the best blow job you— I’ve ever had. Such a good, good slut. Tell me. Tell me you’re my good slut.”
“I’m your good slut.”
“Yes, you are.” Still holding Spike’s chin, Xander reaches out with his other hand and starts petting Spike’s hair again. “I have to shower now. Get ready for the Scooby meeting. Should I let you shower with me? Or should I make you go to the meeting with dried come flaking off your face?”
Spike doesn’t answer.
“Maybe you 'd like that. Maybe you think that if the others can see what’s going on, they’ll come to your rescue. Tell me, Spike, is that what you think? Do you think they care about a slut like you?”
“Do you think they need you, Slut?”
“You’re probably right. But I think I could find a use for you. Hell, with blowjobs like that, I might keep you around forever. Tell me, Slut, would you like that?”
“Haven’t you been hoping someone would want you?”
“You haven’t been longing, deep down, to be needed?”
“Fine. Whatever you say, Spike. C’mon. Let’s take that shower now.”
Spike follows Xander into the bathroom. They stand in the tiny space, facing each other.
“Undress me, Spike, and tell you don’t like serving me.”
“I don’t like serving you,” Spike says as he pulls Xander’s shirt over his head. He unbuttons Xander’s jeans, slides the zipper down and pushes them down Xander’s legs along with his boxers. Xander steps out of them.
“Start the water and tell me you’d rather be anywhere but here.”
“I’d rather be anywhere but here,” Spike says as he turns on the water. He adjusts the temperature and Xander steps in, pulling Spike in after him.
Xander pushes him back under the spray so that the water pours over Spike’s head and runs down his face. Xander uses his hands to wipe away the come.
“Kiss me like you love me and tell me that you hate me.”
Spike leans forward to kiss Xander, slow and deep, before pulling away.
“I hate you.”
Xander fills one hand with shower gel and rubs it against the other one, then smoothes them both over Spike’s chest. Spike’s nipples pucker under his palms. He pinches and twists one between the thumb and finger of each hand.
“Tell me you hate how I make you feel.”
The words come out between gasps now.
“I hate… how you… make me… feel.”
Xander turns Spike around.
“Put your hands against the wall, spread your legs, and tell me that you can’t be owned.”
Spike presses his hands against the tile and steps his feet apart.
“I can’t be owned,” he whispers, as Xander’s fingers, slick with shower gel, press their way gently but insistently inside him. One brushes his prostate, making his body jerk.
Xander leans over and growls in Spike’s ear. “I’ll never be yours. Say it.”
“I’ll never be yours,” Spike says as on a moan as Xander slides his fingers out, leaving him empty.
“I’ll never be yours,” Spike says with a gasp as Xander’s cock fills the emptiness.
“I’ll… never… be… yours,” Spike chokes out between thrusts. He’s never been so filled, so desperate in his life.
“One… more… time,” Xander orders, his grip tight on Spike’s hips as he drives himself in again and again. “Then you can come.”
It’s all Spike can do to whimper the words that will bring him release. “I’ll never… be yours.”
He comes so hard he passes out.
Spike comes around to a sharp stinging in his nipple. He is laid out on the bed and Xander is straddling his hips. He looks down just in time to see the tip of needle Xander is holding emerge on the other side of the pink, puckered flesh.
“Jesus! What the fuck are you doing?” Spike makes as if to squirm away.
“Hold still,” Xander mutters, effectively freezing Spike in place. “I just need to get the ring in.”
“Christ. You couldn’t wait until I was conscious?”
“Why? It’s not like I was going to ask if you minded,” Xander points out absently, most of his concentration on inserting the small silver loop. “Consider yourself lucky that I decided the other piercings I want you to have should really be done by a professional. I mean, vampire healing aside, no point in risking something I might want to play with later…”
Finished with the first loop, moves to the other nipple.
“Quit being a baby. Besides,” Xander rolls his denim-clad hips against Spike’s naked cock, which is responding quite favorably to the piercing procedure, “you obviously like it.”
“A slut and a liar.”
“Is that what this is about? If I admit that I li— that I get off on this, will you stop?”
Xander secures the other ring and sits back to admire his handiwork.
“No. Feel like admitting it anyway, Slut?”
“That’s my boy,” Xander smiles as he lifts himself off of Spike. “Get dressed and go grab yourself some blood. Cold. Then we have one more piece of jewelry to put on you and we can go to the meeting.”
Spike finds his clothes beside him on the bed. He stands up and pulls them on, then goes into the kitchen and gets out the blood, moving as slowly as his mind will let him. He knows what’s coming.
“Quit stalling.” The voice from behind startles Spike and he almost drops his mug. Christ, what’s happening to him? How did Xander get so close without him noticing? “It won’t do you any good and I don’t want to be late.”
Spike downs the remaining contents of the mug in one long swallow.
Spike turns to face Xander, his eyes going directly to Xander’s hands. A short silver chain of thick, heavy links hangs between them. Spike looks at the ground.
“Look at me and ask me to put in on you.”
Spike feels his head lift to meet Xander’s eyes. “Put it on me.”
“Doesn’t sound like asking…”
“Please put it on me.”
“Please put what on you, Slut?”
“Please put the… jewelry on me.”
“Please put the collar on me.”
Xander’s smile shows satisfaction and maybe… tenderness?… as he settles the chain around Spike’s throat.
“Anything for you.”
Spike can feel Xander’s fingers at the back of his neck, fastening the clasp. The collar is heavy, the kind of thing you don’t forget you’re wearing.
Xander steps back and then disappears for a second, reappearing with Spike’s duster. He helps Spike into it, straightens the collar, runs his fingertips over the chain.
“Perfect… Now, come on. Off to the Magic Box.”
No one seems to find it odd when Spike follows Xander into the Magic Box. Research is underway and no one spares them more than a “hey” before Giles hands them each a couple of books and tells them what they’re looking for. Spike deliberately sits in a lone chair slightly removed from any other open seats. Xander says nothing and sits down by Willow. Xander pretends to focus on his book, but Spike can feel those eyes on him.
A few minutes later, Spike notices Xander whispering to Willow. He’s tempted take advantage of the distraction, to sneak off to look for some books on spell reversal. He shifts in his chair, but suddenly Xander appears behind him, leaning over his shoulder, feigning interest in Spike’s book. His lips almost brush Spike’s ear. His voice is low.
“Don’t even think about it, Slut.” Spike feels Xander slip something into his hand. “I wanna fuck you. Go behind the shelves, prepare yourself and come right back. No private research.”
Xander straightens up and returns to his seat. Spike looks down at his hand and finds a small tube of lubricant. He feels Xander’s gaze follow him as he slips away from the group.
As he stands behind a bookshelf, bent slightly at the waist, jeans at mid-thigh with one… two… three of his own slick fingers sliding against each other inside his ass, Spike half expects Xander to sneak up from behind, rip out the fingers and replace them with his hard cock. Spike’s body hums in anticipation.
But Xander doesn’t appear, so Spike removes the fingers and wipes them on his jeans as he pulls those jeans up and zips and buttons them carefully over a substantial erection. He goes back out and sits in the chair again, but he can no longer even pretend to concentrate on research. He keeps stealing glances at Xander.
Every time Xander walks past him, every time Xander opens his mouth to speak… hell, every time Xander so much as shifts in his chair, Spike tenses, growing even harder in anticipation. But Xander seems to be ignoring him, leaving Spike with no coherent thoughts except to wonder when and how it’s going to happen, when and how Xander’s going to fuck him.
And of course Spike knows that Xander knows this, is deliberately driving him crazy, but that doesn’t make it any less effective. It seems like hours before Buffy announces that it’s time to patrol.
“Things seem pretty calm for the moment, so we should be fine just splitting up and doing a quick sweep. I’ll take Riley and head north. Willow, you and Tara go west. Xander, you take Spike and go south.”
“Roger that, Buff.”
And Spike doesn’t know how Xander can sound so innocent and cheerful. As if it’s just another Scooby night, as if his mind isn’t occupied with plotting the mind fuck and then the fuck fuck of the sworn enemy he’s spent the day turning into his personal sex slave.
Spike follows Xander out the door and they head south. Xander isn’t talking—nothing dirty, nothing clean, just nothing. And damned if Spike is going to break the silence, but he’s really hoping they can find something to kill… and soon. Because he swears he’s going to shatter if he doesn’t get some kind of release….
Twenty long and silent minutes later, Spike gets his wish. Five cocky fledges stalk toward them. Spike doesn’t even give Xander enough time to pull out a stake. With a bare minimum of witty banter, he dusts four in quick succession before gleefully tearing the head off the fifth.
As the dust settles, Spike feels like himself again for the first time all day. Then he hears Xander’s voice.
As they walk back to the apartment, Xander still isn’t talking. But something about this silence seems different to Spike. Xander’s steps are slow, forced, almost distracted. Gone are all traces of the confident, controlled and cruelly clever Xander who just finished fucking Spike over a tombstone, calling him “slut,” “bitch,” and “dirty whore,” demanding “take it deeper” and “squeeze me harder,” and making Spike beg before finally ordering him to come. Now, just five minutes later, the silence feels nothing like the earlier mind fucking silence and Xander seems nothing but weary.
When they reach the apartment and get inside Spike is surprised to hear himself asking:
Xander sighs and shoves a hand roughly through his hair.
“Nothing, Spike. Just… just go to bed.”
And Spike feels this insane urge to comfort the man who has spent all day degrading and humiliating him, but Xander’s dismissal has saved him from himself and his legs are already carrying him toward the bedroom.
But being told to go to bed does not force Spike to go to sleep and he finds he can’t sleep, can only lie awake in the dark staring at the ceiling and wonder what his life will be from now on. Wonder what he wants it to be, not that it matters. Wonder about Xander.
He is still staring and wondering two hours later when Xander finally enters the bedroom.
“Still awake?” Xander asks quietly.
“Me neither. I tried to. On the couch.”
Xander begins to undress. He seems to hesitate over the boxers for a moment, but finally removes them and climbs into bed naked next to Spike who is still wearing jeans and a tee-shirt… and his collar. The silence stretches between them.
“I… I want you to… I’m just going to lie here and I want you to do whatever you want to me. But it has to be what you really want to do. Deep down. Not just what you think you should do because you’re afraid of me or anything. I mean, you can’t drain me, but you could hit me if you wanted. I won’t stop you or punish you for it later. Just do what you want to do to me. That’s an order.”
Spike doesn’t know which of them is more surprised when Spike rolls until he’s half on top of Xander and leans down to kiss him.
Xander responds—gentle, searching—and the kiss deepens. Spike wants nothing more than to explore Xander’s mouth at that moment, so that’s what he does. That’s what he has to do. Spike doesn’t understand it, but it doesn’t matter, because he can’t actually stop. Then he wants more.
He finds himself rolling away and standing, stripping out of his shirt and jeans. Then he crawls back onto the bed and straddles Xander, who continues to lie still as promised. He tries to read Xander’s face. Hope? Relief? He can’t be sure, but what he wants is to continue and so he watches as his hands reach out to slide over Xander’s chest, as if seeking to map every inch of the warm flesh. Once the hands are satisfied, the lips follow.
After Xander’s torso, he moves to Xander’s face. After Xander’s face, he moves to Xander’s cock. But hands and lips aren’t enough there. Carefully holding it steady, Spike positions himself and, still slick and stretched from earlier, sinks down easily onto Xander’s cock.
Spike watches the play of emotion on Xander’s face as he lifts and lowers his hips, tries to make sense of the desire and need he sees there. But suddenly, what Spike is doing is no longer enough. He stops and Xander looks up at him.
“What is it? Why’d you stop?”
“This isn’t what I want.”
Xander’s face falls.
“I don’t want it like this,” Spike continues. “I want you to be over me, taking me, making me yours.”
And Xander doesn’t need to be told twice. In an instant, he’s on top, with one of Spike’s legs draped over his shoulder, thrusting for all he’s worth as he bends down to take a nipple ring between his teeth, runs his tongue along over Spike’s neck, following the edge of the collar. And Spike is gasping and panting and doing all sorts of other sexy, breathy things that vampires shouldn’t do. And they’re both so close now and Spike is trying to say something.
“I… I want… want you to… tell me… tell me to come.”
The words make Xander thrust harder, which shouldn’t even be possible.
“Oh god, Spike. Please. Please, baby. Come for me.”
Spike does. And Xander does, collapsing on top of Spike. A few minutes later, Xander rolls off and disappears, reappearing with a washcloth, which he uses to clean them both up. Tossing the washcloth aside, he lies back down and pulls Spike close. They fall asleep easily in each other’s arms.
Xander sits on the side of the bed and leans over Spike’s sleeping form to cup his face.
“Spike? Spike, baby, wake up.”
Spike blinks a few times before his eyes open for real.
“Xan? What’s going on? Feels like I’ve been asleep for days.”
“No, just about eight hours. Must be an after-effect of the spell.”
Xander slides his thumb over Spike’s cheek.
“Spike, can you remember yesterday?”
Spike closes his eyes for a second to think, then opens them wide, wide, wider. With true vampire speed, he reaches up and yanks Xander’s head down to his, engulfing Xander’s lips in a turn-the-amp-up-to-eleven kind of kiss.
Xander melts into Spike. God, it feels good to be kissed willingly… and who needs to breathe anyway? When Spike finally pulls back, Xander laughs, stretching out on the bed and settling into Spike’s side.
“Um, you’re welcome?”
“How?” Spike asks.
“Like we talked about. I went to that sketchy magic shop on the other side of town and got a mind-control spell. Only I also got another spell to make you forget—for twenty-four hours—everything about our relationship since the time that we stopped hating each other.”
“Christ, that’s bloody brilliant. You were bloody brilliant.”
“So you liked it then?”
“Liked it? Are you kidding? I was terrified. It was perfect.”
“It wasn’t over the top? I mean, I was afraid the ‘slut’ thing was a little too clichéd, and when I came on your face…”
“Perfect, all of it, I promise. I didn’t know you had it in you, luv. You made it feel so real.”
“That was the spells.”
“No, that was you.”
“Well, I’m glad it worked for you.”
“Worked for me? Xander, you fulfilled my deepest fantasy. You fulfilled it in ways I couldn’t even have imagined. You took me apart and then put me back together. As yours. Completely.”
Spike seems to savor this idea for a moment, then flashes a sexy smirk.
“Question is: did you enjoy it?”
“Well, it was kinda weird at first… It was hard to be as mean as I thought you’d want me to be, you know? … and I didn’t like seeing you scared of me… And I got worried there at the end... I was afraid maybe you hadn’t really wanted any of it….”
“But I guess for awhile there, in the middle… I kinda got into it.”
“Okay, really into it. It was so hot, having complete control over you, being able to make you do whatever I wanted… whether you wanted to or not. I don’t think I’ve ever been that hard in my entire life and… Oh my god, you have totally corrupted me.”
“And apparently I’ve done a damn fine job of it.”
“Stop looking so smug, Spike.”
Spike’s smug expression disappears immediately. “Yes, Xander.”
Spike freezes, then turns accusing eyes on Xander. “Wait a minute. You said it was a 24-hour spell.”
“Actually, I said the memory spell was twenty-four hours. The mind-control spell has to be reversed.”
“Oh really? And are you planning to do that anytime soon?”
Spike raises a sexy eyebrow. “Feel like playing a little longer, do you?”
“Well, that too, but mostly I just want you to make me lunch.”
“Xander…” Spike warns.
Xander just smirks and looks Spike straight in the eye. “Go make me lunch, Spike.”
“Yes, Xander.” Xander keeps grins as Spike jumps up and walks out of the bedroom.
“You wanker!” Xander hears his lover yell from the kitchen over the sounds of cupboards opening and shutting. “You are so going to pay for this!”
Xander’s smile only widens as he lounges back on the bed.
“God, I hope so.”
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