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Brass Knackers

Sabre Shadowkitten

Teaching Spike A Lesson

No one messes with Xander Harris.
Post Superstar

"Food, bed, food, bed, food, bed," Xander chanted quietly to himself as he made his way down the stairs to his 'apartment.' Work had been long and boring as usual. There weren't many people who wanted to purchase large home appliances at eleven o'clock at night. Why his current boss wanted to keep the shop open until midnight was beyond comprehension. Unless he was hoping to pick up the undead sales.

"Yeah, I can see that," Xander mumbled to himself. "'Hi, I'm Mr. Vampire and this is the little missus, Zombie-woman. We're interested in purchasing a refrigerator to keep our vic-'"

Xander stopped abruptly, his foot half-on the second to last step, and stared in shock. Spike was sitting on his couch, watching television. However, seeing the blond vampire there even after he'd moved out months ago wasn't the true shocker.

It was seeing Spike sitting on the couch, watching television... and jacking off.

"Mmm, Xander," Spike purred.

Xander's eyes widened even further. Oh gods, he thought. Spike was jacking off while thinking about him! Spike, the vampire, was thinking about him while jacking off in... his... basement...

The mortification Xander had felt disappeared in a second. He was being played for a fool. Spike had probably heard him on the stairs and decided to have some fun at his expense.

Xander didn't bother to puzzle out why Spike was in his basement instead of skulking around a cemetery somewhere. He was too pissed off to care. The blond vampire had invaded his home without permission, was watching his television, and was spanking the monkey on his couch.

Another thought came to his mind. Spike was more-than-likely expecting him to storm in and yell. Or to act flustered and embarrassed because of what the blond was doing.

A wicked smile curled up the corners of Xander's mouth. Well Spike, the brunette thought, it ain't gonna happen. He was going to teach the biteless prick that Xander Harris wasn't someone to mess with... at least, not more than a couple of times.

Xander sent up a quick thanks to Larry as he descended the last two steps. If it wasn't for the gay jock, he would have been flustered and probably hightailing it in the other direction.

But, the night before high school graduation and the Mayor's ascension, he'd accepted Larry's invitation to his bed. Anya had already vanished and it had been a high possibility that no one would survive the ascension, plus everyone else had been with their significant others -- except for Angel and Buffy because of that whole almost-draining her thing -- and Xander'd had no one.

Sex with Larry had been an experiment in carnal bliss. The jock already had thought Xander was batting for the gay team so nervousness had been chalked up to the upcoming ascension. They'd touched and stroked and had naughty fun that had left Xander aching in places that had never ached before. And, in the light of what happened to Larry the following day, Xander hadn't regretted a single moment.

Xander crossed the room and stopped in front of Spike. The vampire didn't stop stroking himself as he looked up and gave the brunette a cheeky grin. "Xander, you're finally home," Spike said in a false-breathy voice. "Come give your lover a kiss."

Xander arched a dark brow, the only form of expression on his otherwise stoic face. Then, without a word, he leaned forward, put his hands on either side of Spike, grabbed the back of the couch and kissed the vampire.

Spike's mouth parted in shock at Xander's actions, which allowed the brunette to slip his tongue into the cool cavern. Holy bloody crap!, Spike thought. He was being kissed by Xander!

The vampire's blue eyes widened as the youth's tongue slid along his palate, sensually tickling him. He was motionless, frozen from surprise at what Xander was doing... and doing really well. His cock swelled harder in his hand as Xander's tongue curled around his own with intent to titillate.

Spike wondered if the apocalypse was coming, because Xander's kissing him had to be a sign. The mortal was supposed to be mortified at finding him tossing off, although that hadn't been planned. Spike had wanted to watch television and, because the soldier jerks had broken his and he knew Giles wouldn't let him back in, he'd come to the boy's house. It had been a bonus that Xander had been at work, and the only reason he'd started to wank off was because the late night movie had enough T&A to arouse him to the point of uncomfortableness.

Xander slowly pulled away from Spike, his lips lingering on the other man's until the last possible moment. He opened his eyes and met Spike's stunned blue gaze. A small smirk tugged at his lips.

"Hi Spike," Xander greeted lightly, satisfied at having obviously gotten to the obnoxious vampire. Of course, he wasn't near through with Spike yet.

He straightened, pulled his shirt off over his head and tossed it in the general direction of the washing machine before dropping down onto the couch beside Spike. He unfastened his trousers and tugged them down only far enough to free his semi-hard shaft.

"So, what're we watching?" Xander asked as he wrapped his fingers around his cock and began to stroke himself to full hardness.

Spike blinked owlishly at him.

Hell, if all it took was one little kiss to shut Spike up, he would have done it long ago, Xander thought with a silent chuckle. Stretching his left arm out along the back of the couch, Xander focused on the television, his hand lightly sliding up and down his shaft. After a brief moment, he dropped his left hand down on the back of Spike's neck and started to gently knead the muscles there.

Xander knew he should be nervous about blatantly taunting and exposing himself to the vampire like he was doing, but, for some reason, nervousness wasn't even on the list of things he was feeling. Amusement, satisfaction, cruelness, boldness and a healthy load of lust all made the cut, but not nervousness or fear. Much later, he'd probably want to drown himself, but right then all he really wanted to do was play mind games with Spike, no matter how far he had to go.

The brunette let out a fake sigh of dissatisfaction. "This isn't working," he said, stilling his hand around his cock. He turned to the dumbfounded-looking vampire and tugged on the back of Spike's neck. "Be a buddy and give me a blowjob, will ya?"

"Do what?!" Spike snapped out of his stupor at the boy's words.

Xander tugged a little more firmly. "Come on, wrap that cool mouth around my cock and show me how good a vampire can suck."

"You want me to give you head?" Spike stared at Xander incredulously. This had to be a dream. The cowardly whelp couldn't be propositioning him.

"That was the general idea," Xander replied. "If you do a good job, maybe I'll return the favor."

Now the boy was going to blow him?! Spike's jaw dropped open and he just stared at Xander.

"Is that a yes?" Xander asked, his eyes twinkling as he reached up and tapped Spike's open mouth.

Spike's jaw snapped shut and his eyes narrowed as he suddenly realized what was going on. Xander was playing him, the right bastard. There was no way in hell the mortal really wanted a job from him.

He had to give the boy credit though. It took brass knackers to taunt an enemy like that, especially another male. Xander was as heterosexual as they could get, from what he'd seen.

Well, two could play at that game, Spike thought. A slow, seductive smile spread across his lips. He knew exactly how to get Xander to flee.

"All right, pet," Spike said. "But let's sixty-nine it, eh? Mutual pleasuring's always more fun."

Xander shrugged and stood. "Sounds good to me. Get up so I can pull the bed out. The couch isn't big enough and there's no way I'm laying on the floor."

Spike still didn't think Xander would do it as he helped to pull out the sofa bed and stripped his clothing off. He raked his eyes over Xander's body as the brunette finished removing his own clothes.

It wasn't until they were both stretched out on the bed, face to groin, that Spike realized he was completely wrong about everything.

"Oh fuck," the vampire groaned when he felt the warm tongue sweep the head of his shaft.

Xander chuckled and repeated his action, licking the top of the hard, pale cock in front of his face. He'd been prepared for Spike suggesting something like this, and he knew it would blow the vampire's mind if he actually participated.

He'd learned from his experiences with Larry that he liked giving and receiving head. It was actually much easier with another guy because he knew exactly what felt good and what felt even better when getting a blowjob. With women, he had to rely on gasps and wiggles, or in Anya's case her blunt commentary, when it came to oral sex.

Xander licked Spike's cock until it was coated in saliva, his own shaft getting harder from what he was doing and from the small noises the blond was making. He'd thrust his hips forward in a moment to get Spike to reciprocate the pleasure, but first...

Spike thought he was going to burst into flames when Xander engulfed his shaft. The heat of the boy's mouth was scorching and he let out a low whimper at the feeling. He hadn't had a human suck his cock in decades and he'd forgotten how hot it felt.

"Hey, this isn't just a spectator sport," Xander said, shifting his pelvis. "This is full contact participation required."

Spike opened his eyes, closed them again with a groan when Xander sucked down on his cock, then reopened them to look at the erection jutting towards his mouth. Xander's shaft was long -- much longer than his own, and his was not piddly -- and it was flushed dark with blood. Dark curly hair surrounded the thick member and was sprinkled lightly over the heavy sac that rested on the boy's inner thigh.

Xander moaned around Spike's shaft when the vampire enveloped his erection. Spike moaned himself in reaction to the vibration caused by the brunette's moan, creating a circle of bliss that only stopped when Xander ran out of breath.

Rain began to beat against the basement windows, covering the soft, wet sounds of sucking and light groans of pleasure. The flickering television cast an unearthly glow the couple on the sofa-bed, highlighting their sweat-sheened forms.

Spike came first with a throaty growl, spilling his bittersweet essence into Xander's mouth. Xander swallowed greedily, some of the cool, viscous fluid dribbling from between his lips. He released the softening member only once he'd milked every last drop.

Xander opened his eyes and looked down his body to watch Spike continue his ministrations. The brunette knew that the reason he was lasting longer than Spike had was because he'd built up stamina due to Anya's constant desire for sex. That, plus the fact that the vampire probably hadn't had a partner in awhile.

It was Spike's gentle questing finger at his hidden entry that finally sent him over the edge. He climaxed with a low hiss and then shuddered when he saw the blond's Adam's apple bob as he swallowed.

Spike turned around faster than the human eye could see and initiated a deep, hungry kiss. Xander enthusiastically responded, tasting himself on Spike's lips as the vampire was undoubtably did.

Their tongues clashed, thrusting and retreating within each other's mouths. Lips darkened and swelled from bruising pleasure. Both human and vampire began to pant as lust was stoked anew.

"Can I have you, pet?" Spike rasped when he dragged his mouth from the boy's. He ran kisses down Xander's jawline to his ear and sucked on the soft lobe. "Please?"

The vampire's roughly spoken entreaty all but turned Xander's bones to mush. He'd never heard such need in anyone's voice before and, although it was just sex, the need was still for him.

Also, it was the nicest way anyone had ever asked to have sex with him. Faith had practically jumped him -- not that he complained all that much -- Larry had basically said "we're probably gonna die tomorrow, wanna have sex?", and Anya had wanted to interlock parts.

Xander had opened his mouth to answer affirmatively when Spike suddenly rolled onto his back and pressed the heels of his palms over his eyes. "Fuck."

The brunette frowned, moved onto his side and propped his head up on his head. "I thought that was the plan," he commented wryly.


"Xander," Xander corrected. "My name is Xander."

Spike snorted. "Xander," he emphasized, turning his head to look at the boy. "If I bugger you and it hurts even the tiniest bloody amount, this thing in my head will go off."

"I guess I can see where that would ruin the mood," Xander said. He gave the vampire a half-smirk. "However, I can guarantee you it isn't going to hurt me."

Spike arched a skeptical brow. "Right. You've really got a string of blokes that are getting a leg over on you nightly."

"No," Xander paused dramatically, "I have an Anya."

Spike looked at him a moment, then burst out laughing. Xander smiled at the completely malice-free sound. Oh yeah, he rocked. He made the evil vampire really laugh.

Chuckling himself at his thoughts, Xander climbed out of the bed and crouched beside the couch. He reached under it, dragged out a medium strongbox and popped the lock.

Spike peered over the edge of the bed and his eyes widened. "Bloody hell, you've got enough sex toys there to start your own side business."

"Like I said, I have an Anya," Xander told him, shifting through the box. He pulled out a tube of lubricant, tossed it at the vampire, then rooted around until he found the butt-plug he was searching for. "Alright, pasty-ass, on your hands and knees."

Spike looked at him for a long moment and Xander wondered if things were going to get sour. Then, the vampire silently raised himself up on his knees and held out the lubricant.

Xander wasted no time in taking the tube and climbing back onto the bed. He knelt beside Spike, rather than behind the blond, and coated a finger with the lubricant. He set the tube down on the mattress, rested one hand on Spike's lower back and gently slid the slick digit between the vampire's ass-cheeks.

Spike swore when he felt Xander's probing finger inside of him. It had been so long since he'd been touched like that, even longer since it had been a non-forced encounter. He closed his eyes and dropped his head to the mattress between his forearms as his passage stopped burning and started to feel damn good.

He groaned when one finger became two, his body adjusting to thrusting digits. Then, Xander's fingers curled and brushed against his prostate, and he stiffened and let out a strangled cry as bolts of unbelievable pleasure shot through him.

Xander grinned and purposely caressed the inner gland again. Spike thrust back hard against his hand, imbedding his fingers deep inside the vampire's tight body. It was the perfect time to trade his fingers for the plug, and then to be thoroughly fucked.

Spike shot upright and wrapped his arms around Xander within seconds after Xander slid the slicked plug into the vampire. The kiss the brunette received was full of passion and he could feel Spike's erection jabbing into his stomach.

Spike pushed Xander back down onto the bed, pressing his body flush against the younger man's as he continued the kiss. He couldn't seem to taste enough of Xander and the feel of the brunette's warm tongue scraping against his own played havoc with his mind. All he knew was that he needed to have this man -- this human -- and needed him so badly that if Spike had been able to think it would've scared him.

The blond vampire was panting in a manner equal to that of Xander when he finally broke away. Yellow-tinged blue eyes stared down into rich chocolate ones for several seconds before Spike whispered roughly, "Can I have you?"

"Yes," Xander answered in a thick tone. "Yes."

And then Spike's hands were everywhere, touching, caressing, filling, stretching. One, two, three lubed fingers entered Xander with a burning pleasure that left him trembling with desire. He hooked his legs up onto the vampire's shoulders and let Spike touch him in the most intimate of ways.

"Xander," Spike growled, the name rumbling across the television-lit basement as he sunk deep inside the boy. His fingers dug into the mattress on either side of Xander and he slowly began to pump, his steely shaft sliding in and out of Xander's so-very-hot passage.

Faster and faster he moved, his pelvis slapping against Xander's buttocks. With every hit he whimpered, the sound expelling from between tightly clenched teeth. His lips were drawn back in a vulpine snarl, his face teetering between smooth and ridged.

The world exploded into a light that burned Spike to the core when he climaxed. He let out a low, animalistic snarl and bucked wildly against Xander as stream after stream of fiery pleasure ran through his body. His face changed over completely, his yellow eyes wide and dilated, and he shuddered long and hard as he came.

Xander didn't let Spike rest for one second after his orgasm. Moving quickly, the brunette wiggled out from beneath the vampire, got behind him and pulled the butt-plug free with a pop. Xander grabbed the lubricant and slathered his aching cock while listening to the vampire panting loudly in a post-orgasmic daze.

Once coated, he tossed the tube off the side of the bed, spread the rounded, pale ass-cheeks before him and pressed the weeping crown of his erection against the toy-stretched rosette. His eyes crossed when he thrust forward and into Spike's channel, eliciting a loud moan from the vampire.

Xander wrapped his arms around Spike's middle and pulled him backwards so that he was almost sitting on the brunette's lap. Xander's hands then dropped down to Spike's hips and he began to raise and lower the vampire on his turgid shaft.

Soon, Spike was moving in tandem with him, the sofa-bed squeaking as the blond rode him hard. Xander felt the heat inside of him start to boil. The delicious tightness squeezing his cock was drawing his climax faster than any pussy ever did.

Xander spread his knees wider beneath Spike's, causing the vampire's legs to spread further apart, as well. The brunette clenched his partner's hips convulsively when Spike let out a strangled cry of pleasure as the shift caused Xander's cock to hit Spike's prostate head on.

Spike's inner muscles spasmed and Xander gasped, "Shit." White-heat speared up his shaft, his sac lifting and tightening, and he came with long, hard bursts. His nails dug into Spike's hips as the vampire thrust back against him several more times while muttering incoherently.

Spike abruptly pulled himself off of Xander, spun around on his knees and captured the boy's mouth in a savage kiss. His tongue plunged between the other man's parted lips, inciting a fierce battle with Xander's tongue. The kiss was long and brutal and left both men gasping when they finally broke apart.

Xander allowed himself to fall bonelessly to the bed and he closed his eyes as he tried to catch his breath and slow his pounding heart. His entire body was satisfactorily numb and he knew that he would definitely sleep hard the rest of the night.

The pitter-patter of rain on the window and the quiet voices from the television soon invaded Xander's senses. He opened his eyes and saw Spike still kneeling beside him. The vampire's blue eyes were focused on him with an intensity that made him a bit nervous.

"What, do I have semen on my chin?" Xander asked, wiping at his mouth.

Spike snorted and shook his head, as if he couldn't believe Xander had asked that. He flopped down onto the mattress beside the brunette and sighed contentedly. "That was fun, pet."

"Yes it was, livestock," Xander said.

Spike turned his head and frowned. "Livestock?"

Xander half-shrugged. "It's the only thing I could think of that's opposite of 'pet.'"

"Very cheeky, Xander," Spike said.

"Thanks, livestock," Xander said with a grin. Spike scowled at him and he chuckled. "Okay, okay. No endearments about farm animals."

"No endearments, period," Spike said firmly. "I'm not your soddin' boyfriend because of this."

"I never said you were," Xander told him. The brunette rolled off of the bed and walked over to where he kept his clothes. "I was horny and you were the one who was here, that's it."

"You mean to tell me that if you'd come home to Willow on your couch, you would've shagged her?" Spike asked skeptically.

"No," Xander replied simply. He drew on a pair of boxers and headed for the stairs.

"Hey now, I was talking to you!" Spike sat up and glared at the boy. "No one walks away from me when I'm talking!"

"Oh yeah, that's right," Xander's lips curled up into a smirk, "you're the big bad... who just got fucked by a human male."

Spike's eyes narrowed. "I wasn't the only git who was fucked."

"Hmm, you got a point there." Xander tapped his chin in a mock-thought. "Well, I can chalk it up to wanting to show you that you can't mess with me. What's your excuse?"

With that, Xander headed up the stairs to take a shower, leaving a stunned-looking Spike behind.


Spike thinks its the thing in his head that's causing his lusty want of Xander.
Post Superstar

The thing in his head had to be malfunctioning.

That's what Spike kept telling himself in the wake of what happened with Xander Harris. His brain was getting scrambled because of microwaves or something. There was no way in hell he could've actually desired the boy, so that had to be the reason.

Then why was he still thinking about kissing Xander again?

Spike cursed under his non-existent breath for the hundredth time. Two nights had passed since his encounter with Xander. Two nights of aching arousal for and revolving thoughts about the muscular, dark-haired, annoying human. Two nights since Xander had returned to the basement after his shower, took one look at a ticked-off Spike and said: "Are you still here?", followed by, "If you're gonna stay, keep quiet, because I'm going to sleep."

The vampire grabbed a magazine off the rack in front of him and opened it to a random page. The girl in the ad told him to scratch-and-sniff her liquor-drenched cunt. It was about as titillating as watching the grass grow. Now, if it was Xander's cock he was to scratch-and-sniff...

"Damn it," Spike growled, closing the magazine and tossing it back on the rack. He did not want Xander! He'd rather kiss the librarian's hairy white ass, as the mug he'd defaced now said. He'd rather travel back in time and service the Master's entire London court again. He did not want that boy!

Spike stormed out of the liquor store and stalked up the street. He needed to kill something, preferably a human male with dark, shaggy hair, chocolate brown eyes and an ass that begged to be buggered. Someone who looked exactly like the young man in the appliance store he was passing.

"Fuck," Spike swore, when he realized it was the object of his current tirade that he saw through the storefront window. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!"

The blond vampire grabbed the door handle, yanked it open and stomped inside.

Xander glanced towards the door with a worried expression on his face when he heard it open, his hand straying towards the stake in his back pocket. Visitors at eleven at night were very rare at the store. When he saw who it was, he relaxed, spun in a quick circle and grabbed the broom handle he was using as a dance partner.

"Giles," he said aloud, continuing his game. He executed a clumsy two step with the broom. "No chance. Old guy, father figure, lack of respect issues."

Xander leaned the broom against a washer, hopped up onto a dryer and banged his heels twice. "Riley. Oh yeah. Cornboy would be a beggar." He grinned wolfishly. "What about you, Spike?"

"What about me what?" Spike said, glaring at Xander as he came to a halt near the boy.

"Riley. Would you fuck him and why or why not?" Xander said.

Spike narrowed his eyes. "Why do you want to know?"

"It's a game, stupid," Xander replied with an exasperated sigh. "It's called Casual Sex. You pick people and chose whether or not you'd do them and why."

"If you call me stupid again, I'll rip your tongue out and make you eat it," Spike growled.

Xander snorted. "I'm scared. Truly."

"Fuck you," Spike snapped.

"Been there, done that, wasn't anything to write home about," Xander told him offhandedly.

Spike snarled loudly and went to hit the brunette, but pulled up short with a hiss of pain. "Bloody fucking hell!" he exclaimed, pressing the heel of his palm hard against his forehead.

"You'd think you'd have learned by now," Xander tisked. "I take it you rode the short bus to school."

"Piss off," Spike grumbled.

Xander chuckled and patted the dryer. "Pull up an energy-saving home appliance and chill awhile."

"Why should I?" Spike rubbed his eyes and fervently wished for lightning to strike the whelp down.

"Because I'm bored and you're good for a few laughs," Xander replied. "So, Riley. Would you screw the goody-goody right out of him or not?"

"In a second," Spike said, then mentally cursed himself. Why did he answer? It's not like he wanted to play the idiotic game. He wanted to tear the boy's throat out so he'd shut up. It was the thing in his head. It had to be.

"How about Willow?" Xander asked, leaning back on his elbows. He'd already been through all his acquaintances with the game and had moved onto the hard ones -- the Scooby Gang -- when the vampire had shown up. "Does Glenda the Good Witch stiffen your wand?"

Spike looked at Xander with an expression of disgust. "Do me a favor and don't pun."

Xander gave him a lopsided grin and he felt his jeans suddenly grow tight. It's Willow, the vampire told himself. He was thinking about whether or not he'd shag the witch into unconsciousness.

"Well?" Xander prompted. He was amused by Spike's behavior. He swore that the vampire didn't know if he was coming or going... or cumming.

Hmm, wickedly nice image, he thought. Contrary to what he'd told Spike, the other male was exceptionally good in bed. Than again, if he'd have had a century of experience, he'd be the shit, too.

"Yes, I'd do her," Spike answered after a moment. "Just to get her out of those soddin' clothes."

"I don't know if I would," Xander said. "Yes, she's attractive, but Willow's the kind of girl that would be hard to boff and run."

Spike hopped up onto the wash machine opposite Xander, pulled out a cigarette and lit it. Xander watched the vampire under his lashes. He wouldn't deny that he felt the stirring of arousal for the blond, but that was about it. He couldn't honestly say that he'd even thought about Spike in the past two days, nor did he know why Spike was even in the store with him.

As Spike inhaled on his cigarette and glanced towards the front window, Xander surreptitiously studied him. He had a striking face, all hard planes and sharp lines. The body hidden under the duster was similar, lean and taut and marked with several scars from a life before undeath.

"Angel," Xander named the next victim on his list.

Spike looked at the boy sharply. "What about the nonce?"

"Would you do him?" Xander said.

"No," Spike said immediately and firmly. "I wouldn't let him near me even if he promised to fix me."

"You hate him that much?"


"Why?" Xander asked curiously.

Spike took a long drag on his cigarette. Why was he sitting here playing this stupid game with the whelp?, he asked himself. He had people to... right. Well, he had things... damn.

The blond decided to chalk it up to masochistic perversion combined with boredom that had him answering instead of leaving. Sort of like continuing to pull off a scab to watch the wound bleed even though it hurt to do so. Plus, it was always fun to see the shocked expressions on people's faces when the truth came so far out of left field.

"I hate the wanker because I know that, the moment he'd look at me like he cared, I'd fall in love with him all over again."

"Huh." Xander tried to keep his jaw from hitting the floor. He must not have done a very good job because Spike laughed.

"Pathetic, isn't it?" Spike commented, stabbing out his cigarette on the bottom of his boot. He flicked the butt to the floor. "I don't need that shit. My unlife is too cocked up as it is."

Xander hopped off the dryer and walked over to the sales desk near the end of the row of washers and dryers. "It's probably a good thing that the idea to ship you off to him was vetoed then."

"You bet your soddin' arse," Spike said. He frowned at the brunette as Xander rooted around in one of the desk drawers. "What about you? Where's my great poof of a sire fall on your 'to fuck' list?"

"Oh, I'd screw him blind," Xander replied.

"I thought you hated him too," Spike said.

"I do," Xander said, taking out a package of Twinkies. "But have you seen the body that vamp's got?"

Spike chuckled. "As a matter of fact, yes."

"That was a rhetorical question, fangless face." Xander ripped open the Twinkie package as he walked back over to where Spike was sitting. "Okay, here's a toughy -- Buffy."

The blond vampire rolled his eyes at Xander's dumb rhyming. "If you'd have asked me when I first met the chit, I'd have said hell yeah," he said. "Now, though, the Slayer's too effin' skinny. I'd be afraid she'd cut me up with her sharp bones."

Xander stopped in front of the vampire and held up a Twinkie. "I've been trying to get her on Xander Harris's patented Twinkie diet, but so far no go." He extended the creme-filled snack cake towards Spike. "Want one?"

Spike made a face. "Do you know those things have a shelf life of a billion years?"

"That's why they're so nummy good," Xander stated. He shrugged. "Well, your loss."

Spike stared at Xander, his mouth parting slightly, as the cylindrical snack slid between the brunette's lips. He swallowed heavily as Xander bit down, the creme filling squirting from the Twinkie. His shaft grew to its fullest proportions in an instant when some of that white creme stuck to Xander's lips in an unbelievably erotic way.

Spike's hand shot out, curled in the front of Xander's shirt and he yanked the boy to him. Without warning, he ran his tongue over the other man's lower lip, cleaning the filling away.

Xander's eyes widened briefly, but he didn't struggle against the vampire. As quickly as he could, he chewed and swallowed the Twinkie portion in his mouth. Then, he closed his eyes, angled his head and followed Spike's lead.

He moved closer to Spike and set the Twinkie down on the washer. His hands settled on the blond's hips as Spike wove his arms around Xander's neck. The kiss deepened quickly, Xander's tongue twining sensually with the other man's, causing the brunette to harden beneath his pants. He pushed his hips forward, rubbing up against Spike's crotch, and the vampire wrapped his legs around Xander's waist.

Spike growled in the back of his throat and tried to wiggle even closer to the heat radiating from Xander. The boy tasted so good, even with the Twinkie bits, and he never wanted the kiss... to... end...

Fucking hell, he was kissing Xander again! And, on top of that, he was wrapped around the younger man like a girl!

Spike shoved Xander forcefully away and snarled as pain shot through his skull. He bent his head and pressed his palm to his forehead in a much-loathed, often-repeated gesture.

"Spike, are you okay?" Xander asked with a pant as he took a step back towards the vampire.

Spike threw out his hand in a 'go away' gesture without raising his eyes and promptly clocked Xander in the nose.

"Ow!" Xander exclaimed at the same time Spike let out a choked-off scream of pain.

The blond vampire doubled over, clutching his head with both hands, and he tried to will the bolts of searing pain away. It was just a fucking accident! He wasn't trying to intentionally hurt the sod!

Xander wiggled his nose several times. The vampire didn't hit him hard enough to break anything. He only had that annoying 'funny bone in the nose' pain that had started to disappear already.

He frowned at the top of Spike's bent head, stepped forward again and reached out with both hands. Spike flinched but didn't move away as the brunette started to rub his fingertips along the vampire's scalp. It always felt good when Willow did this to him when he had a headache and, because it wasn't Spike's fault he got hurt, the sympathy portion of his brain went into action.

His rubbing must've helped because Spike started to purr.

Xander chuckled quietly, but it was loud enough for Spike to turn his head and look up at him.

"What are you laughing at?" the vampire asked in a tone that indicated he could care less as long as Xander kept doing what he was doing.

"You were purring," Xander told him, a smirk pulling up the corners of his lips.

"I don't purr," Spike grumbled, straightening.

"Uh-huh." Xander kept his hands behind Spike's head, gently rubbing small circles down to the other man's neck. "Then someone let a big ol' cat loose in here."

"I don't purr," Spike insisted, glaring daggers at him. "I never have and I never fucking will."


Spike furrowed his brow in confusion at the abrupt nature in which the boy said his own name. "Xander what?"

Xander gave him a lopsided grin. "Would you have casual sex with Xander and why?"

Spike sucked in an unneeded breath as the brunette's fingernails scraped over the back of his neck. The desire he'd felt for the other man, which had dissipated with the pain, returned tenfold. He knew instantly that if he answered in the positive, he'd be accepting a sympathy fuck. The question should really be: did he want that?

Hell, yes.

If he was going to go out of his mind, he might as well get laid first.

Xander smiled into the kiss that was Spike's answer then gave over to the hormone brigade trying to take over his body. The kiss was not gentle, nor was it brutal. It was a simple middle-of-the-road kiss, and each man took the time to thoroughly explore the other's mouth, moving closer and closer to one another until Spike was once again practically wrapped around the brunette.

Xander made the first move on the quest for sex by tugging on Spike's duster. The blond vampire released him long enough to pull the faded jacket off, then immediately latched back onto him. Freed from the coat-obstacle, Xander was able to pull Spike's tee-shirt from his jeans.

Spike growled in approval when he felt Xander's hands under his shirt. The calloused fingers skimmed along his back all the way up to his neck. The brunette used his fingernails on the descent, scratching ten even paths on either side of the vampire's spine, and Spike arched forward in pleasure.

The vampire broke the kiss and dragged his mouth down along Xander's jawline towards his ear. Xander turned his head to give Spike access, panting slightly, and his half-slitted eyes focused on the large storefront window. It dawned on him that anyone passing by could see two grown men going at if they glanced through the window.

As naughty as it would be to be on display like that, Xander preferred to conduct his liaisons dangerous in private. Besides which, he wasn't that interested in getting caught with Spike of all men... or vampires.

"Stay put," Xander murmured, forcing himself to pull away from the nibbling vampire.

Spike watched with a sullen pout as Xander headed towards the front of the store. When he saw the boy draw the shade over the large window, his pout turned into a smirk. "Ashamed of me, pet?"

"Yes," Xander answered simply.

The pout returned.

Xander chuckled at Spike's reaction and patted the vampire's knee as he walked past. "Don't worry, Spike. I'm still going to pork ya 'til ya squeal. And speaking of grease..."

"We were?" Spike was confused, which was getting to be a normal feeling. It had to be a result of the malfunctioning thing in his head, along with the intense desire to lick every inch of the boy's body within the next ten minutes.

The brunette bent next to the desk and straightened again with a can in his hand. "'Garber's Grease,'" Xander read the label, as he moved back over to Spike. "'Good to use on things that slide, stick, screw and squeak.'" He gave the vampire a wink. "I think sex falls under at least three of those categories. Four if we work up a sweat."

"Very amusing," Spike said dryly.

Xander leaned one hip against the washing machine next to Spike and turned the can to read the back. "No warnings on skin contact no-nos," he said. He arched his brow and his lips curled up into a wicked smile. "But I think we should follow the directions anyway."

Spike nodded dumbly, his eyes focused on Xander's smile. If the brunette was a vampire, that smile would have sent chills down his spine from the concupiscence of it. As it was, he was having trouble not drooling on the front of his shirt. Cor, this was so very wrong.

"One: identify part to be greased," Xander said. He looked at Spike, at Spike's crotch, then back up at Spike's face. "Part identified."

Spike's part strained even harder against the zipper of his jeans.

"Two: remove any coverings to the part to be greased," Xander said. He set the can down, moved in between Spike's legs and worked at the fastenings of the vampire's pants. He licked his lips as he dragged Spike's jeans to just above the other man's knees, his eyes drinking in the sight of the stiff marble shaft pointing straight towards him.

"Three," Xander said, his voice growing thicker. He glanced at the can then back at Spike's hard-on. "Clean area thoroughly."

Spike hissed and his head dropped back as Xander's lips wrapped around his cock. The boy's mouth was wet and hot and wreaking havoc on his mind. Xander's tongue lashed at the sensitive underside as he sucked hard, and Spike wondered just how many blowjob's Xander had given because he was really fucking good at it.

"Ah hell, Xander," Spike gasped, his body tightening with an impending orgasm after a few, too- short minutes. "I'm going to bloody pop if you don't quit."

Xander's response was to suck him down to the root.

A strangled cry erupted from Spike as he climaxed hard, filling Xander's mouth with thick streams of bittersweet fluid. The brunette swallowed quickly, his throat muscles contracting around the head of Spike's shaft, causing the vampire to violently shudder.

Xander straightened after he'd milked the vampire dry and wiped his mouth on the back of his sleeve. "Area clean," he said impishly.

Spike leaned forward and captured the boy's mouth, his tongue slipping between Xander's lips. He tasted himself and it lit a low flame of desire in his belly, knowing the taste came from the pleasure he'd just received.

Xander broke the kiss, gave Spike a dopey smile and picked up the can again. "Four," he squeaked, then cleared his throat and tried again. "Four: If possible, position the part in a manner that will prevent the grease getting on other undesirable areas."

The brunette set the can down again, grabbed Spike's hips and pulled the vampire to the very edge of the washer he was sitting on. Then, Xander put his hand in the center of Spike's chest and pushed until the vampire was half-laying on the large appliance's surface. Spike's only response to Xander's pushing his knees up and back was to arch his scarred brow.

Xander stepped forward until he was flush with the washing machine and frowned. "Hold that thought," he instructed, earning a chuckle from the vampire. He quickly jogged to the back of the store and returned shortly thereafter with a two-foot stepladder.

After positioning the ladder with the steps facing the washer, Xander climbed onto the first step and smiled. With a flick of his wrist, his trousers and boxers were down around his knees, his erection straining towards the vampire's exposed puckered entry.

"Five," Xander said, grabbing the can and opening it. "Liberally grease the area you wish to slide, unstick, screw or stop from squealing."

Xander dipped two fingers into the slick, orangey substance and stirred it up a little. He leered at Spike just before he slid his coated fingers into the blond's tight hole.

Spike should have felt ridiculous because of the position he was in. It wasn't often... or ever... that a master vampire would be on his back, his bare ass at the edge of a washing machine, holding his partially jeans-clad knees to his shirt-clad chest, as a human male prepared him to be buggered. However, all Spike felt was burning pleasure and a strong desire to be fucked.

Padded room, meet Spike.

"Six," Xander said with a groan as he used his other hand to grease up his aching erection. He removed his fingers from Spike and positioned his very-ready cock at the ringed rosette. "Check to see if part works as desired."

Xander slid easily into Spike's tight channel. "Oh yeah," he breathed, pulling his hips back and thrusting into Spike again. "Works good."

Spike dropped his head back onto the control panel of the washer and moaned as Xander began to fuck him. An announcement banner swayed gently above him from the air coming through the vent. A stove with all sorts of gadgets adorned one corner, with the rest of the sign proclaiming: 'We don't have to be what you want us to be.' It made absolutely no sense. Then again, he was getting it up the ass from a hot-blooded male with a long, hard prick, so who was he to say what made sense.

Xander's knees banged up against the wash machine with each of his thrusts, the hollow echo resounding in the appliance store. The ladder under his feet squeaked on the tiled floor in rhythm with his knees. His fingers tightened on Spike's bare hips and his head lolled from the wonderfully intense tightness surrounding his cock. He reiterated his opinion from a few nights prior: this was much, much, much better than pussy. He could happily fuck Spike for hours.

Xander's body had other ideas, though, and his orgasm was upon him much sooner than he'd wanted. "You tight-assed bastard," he gasped as he climaxed. He slammed his hips forward twice more before he pressed himself flush against the blond's backside. His shaft pulsed repeatedly as he spilled himself deep inside Spike's grasping body.

The brunette collapsed down onto the top of the stepladder. "Gonna have to...," he panted, "...write Garber's... a glowing... usage letter..."

Spike slid down off of the washer, cupped Xander's chin and tilted his head up. "You do that," the vampire murmured, then proceeded to thoroughly kiss him.

Eventually, Xander decided that breathing was something he should take up doing and he tore his mouth from the blond's with a large gasp of air. Normally, breathing and kissing at the same time wasn't too hard of a task, but he'd been still trying to catch his post-orgasm wind when Spike had decided to take up tongue diving.

"You are... very... orally-fixated," Xander commented between gulps of air.

"Comes with the territory, luv," Spike responded wryly.

Xander rolled his eyes, turned on the stepladder and stood. He glanced at the clock on the wall as he fixed his pants and he sighed gratefully. "Almost time to close. Yipee."

Spike pulled up his jeans, not too caring about the mess he was making of the denim. He was already hard again and raring to shag Xander 'til he screamed. "Do you want me to hang around and walk your well-sexed self home so we can continue?"

"Nah," Xander said, folding up the stepladder. He headed for the back of the store with it. "I have to clean up the mess we made and run the paperwork. You go ahead and go do whatever it is fixed vampires do all night."

Spike stared after the boy in shock. Xander had just dismissed him... again!

"Oh and if you see Anya," Xander called from the back. "Tell her I'll meet her around eleven tomorrow, okay?"

At that moment, Spike knew he never wanted Xander to become a vampire. The mortal was cruel enough without any help from a demon.

"You, Xander Harris, are going to be the life of me," Spike growled. With a final swear, he grabbed his duster and stalked out of the appliance store

Xander emerged from the back with a roll of paper towels, a sprayer of 409 and an evil smirk on his face. He set the stuff down on the desk, pulled out his wallet and picked up the receiver to the phone. He took out the folded business card Oz had given to everyone many full moons ago, punched in the phone number and waited.

"Hey, Deadboy, have I got some interesting information for you..."


In the wake of Dracula's visit to Sunnydale, Spike and Xander find comfort in each other.
Post Buffy v. Dracula

Spike stopped, his hand poised to knock on the weathered door in front of him, and wondered what he was doing at Xander's. It wasn't as if he didn't have enough problems outside of his unwanted lust for the shaggy-haired mortal. Adam's reneging on their deal a few months back had seriously thrown a monkey wrench in his plans, and it wreaked havoc on his non-relationship with the Slayer and her tarts, including one Xander Harris.

Therein lay the problem. Or rather, the problem preventing Spike from getting laid.

It wasn't as if he couldn't find a willing partner elsewhere. The Bronze was teeming with young tits full of raging hormones. All Spike needed was to say the right words, give the right seductive look, and he'd be shagging some sweet thing in the backseat of a motor.

But, as happy as that would've made his dick, he hadn't gone trolling at the local teen club. Instead, he'd hidden out in his crypt until he was sure Buffy and friends wouldn't stake him on sight for his self-preserving betrayal. He'd convinced himself that staying close to home wasn't being cowardly, just smart.

At least, he'd managed to keep lying to himself until Riley had shown up at the crypt and bitch-slapped him.

Spike dropped his hand, took a step backwards, and closed his eyes. He curled and uncurled his fingers on both hands as he tried to push down the humiliation that swam over him. He'd submitted to a human! Not just any human, either, but to one of the soldiers who'd chipped him! And he'd done it of his own free choice!!!

The blond vampire growled deep in his chest, a feral sound that reverberated in the cement stairwell that led to the basement entrance of the Harris house. Bile rose in his throat when he thought about how he'd disgraced himself. If he could see his reflection in a mirror, he wouldn't be able to look himself in the eye.

Spike had never submitted to a human, not even to the man-child beyond the paint-chipped door in front of him. Submission was defined as one person admitting to another's superiority, verbally or non-verbally. Screwing Xander was about mutual pleasure, and Spike gave as good as he got. Taking it up the ass had no correlation with submission unless some sort of demand accompanied it, and only then if it was a controlling one and not a passion-filled one.

Spike took a purposeful breath, let it out quickly, and knocked on the door. He was leaving Sunnydale, his face burning and his tail between his legs. Evil everywhere was embarrassed of him and he couldn't blame them. After he left Xander's, he was off to Antarctica or France or some other horrid place where he could hide in shame for the rest of his unlife.

Why was he here again?, Spike wondered as a muffled "Yeah?" came through the door. His feet had led him here after he'd decided to leave town, but he didn't know why. He hadn't seen Xander since May, unless he counted picturing the dark-haired youth as he tossed off. Although, seeing Xander, who was beyond a doubt the most pathetic of the Slayer's gang and possibly even his age-bracket, might give the vampire a little boost to his currently rock-bottom self-esteem. It wasn't as if he actually had feelings for the boy.

Xander was sitting on the couch, wearing a white A-line tee and a pair of dark blue plaid boxers. He was slumped comfortably with his hair-sprinkled legs spread apart and his white sock-clad feet flat on the floor. His elbows were up on the back of the couch, a long-neck beer dangling from one hand.

Whiskey-colored eyes narrowed when Spike entered Xander's basement 'apartment.' The flickering light from the television cast shadows over the brunette's features, deepening his scowl. The small gust of air from the closing of the door caused the flame from a fat candle sitting on the coffee table to jump wildly.

Great, Xander thought peevishly, glaring at the blond vampire hovering by the doorway. A visit from Spike was just what he needed to cap off his horrid night. As if eating live insects, basically bending over and spreading himself wide for Dracula, and having his friends laugh at him again wasn't enough.

"What do you want, Spike?" Xander asked in a clipped voice. "And if you say you wanted to see Xander the Pussy in person, I will make you into an Eunuch with my pearly whites."

Spike looked surprised by the threat, which should have made Xander feel good, but it didn't. It wasn't like he could back up the threat. Maybe once upon a time he could, when he still had his military knowledge and instinctively knew how to disable a man with a single blow or when he'd still had the confidence and "coolness" that'd been a result of standing up to Jack O'Toole.

Xander took a swig of beer, hoping the alcohol would wash away his disgust with himself. It didn't. Quelle surprise.

"I, uh...," Spike shifted uncomfortably on his feet and shoved his hands in his duster pockets, "I'm leaving Sunnydale."

"So?" Xander watched as Spike pursed his lips, and smirked. "Ahh, I get it." The brunette feminized his voice. "But Spike, you can't leave. What would I do without you?"

Spike glowered at Xander. "Not funny, mate."

Xander pretended to wipe a tear from his eye. "Fine. Leave me. See if I care," he sniffed.

Spike growled, spun on his heel and grabbed the doorknob. He didn't need this crap.

"Wait," the whelp called to him in a trembling voice. "Don't I get a kiss goodbye?"

Xander's mocking grin faded when Spike stalked over to him. The blond came to a halt between Xander's legs, put his hands on either side of Xander's head and leaned down. Xander met Spike's blue eyes and, behind the annoyance, he saw an emotion that he was intimately familiar with -- self-loathing.

Spike must've seen the same emotion reflected in Xander's eyes because his snarl disappeared. For a full minute, neither man moved, their faces inches apart. The quiet voices from the television kept the possibility of a tense silence at bay, allowing only brutal honesty to surface between them.

"I can't do this anymore," they both whispered in unison.

Shock flitted across both of their features at their simultaneousness. Xander took the first plunge after that, his voice thick with disgust. "I'm sick and tired of being the bumbling sidekick that always gets beat up, or thralled, or is the superpowerless part of the team. I don't want to be Zeppo Donut Boy again."

Spike's fingers dug into the back of the couch as he confessed in a harsh tone, "I hate this chip. I hate not being able to defend myself against humans; or beat one up for pissing me off; or having to submit to the Slayer and her Slayerettes' bloody whims for fear of being staked. I hate not even being able to feed properly!"

They held each other's gazes for another few moments. Then, they were kissing hard and hungrily, their teeth gnashing, their mouths bruising. There was desperation underlying the kiss, along with a sense of kinship. Two men drowning in a sea of self-loathing, finding each other and clinging together in hopes of staying afloat.

Xander shoved the beer bottle between the couch cushions, grabbed Spike's lapels and shoved the duster from his shoulders. Spike shoved himself upright, tearing himself away from Xander's mouth only long enough to drop the coat to the ground and yank his tee-shirt over his head. Xander's shirt joined the vampire's on the dirty cement floor before returning to the ferocious kiss.

The brunette's hands were everywhere, grabbing, bruising. His breaths were coming in quick gasps between short savage attacks of mouths and tongues. He felt Spike's muscles coiled like steel springs beneath his smooth pale skin, a predator ready to pounce.

Xander's fingers found Spike's belt buckle and ripped at it. The buttonfly on the black jeans were swiftly undone, and the denim was shoved unceremoniously down the older man's thighs. A strong fist around the exposed turgid member led to a loud moan of pleasure.

Xander tugged at the hardness in his grip, expertly stroking the other man. The hard, cool length pulsed beneath his palm, the bulbous head becoming slick with pre-come. With his other hand he grasped the dangling sac between Spike's legs, rolling and pulling on the sensitive balls hidden within.

Spike tore his mouth from Xander's with a deep, "Xaaaaannnnaaahhhhhhhhhhh..." He came in short bursts, shooting himself onto Xander's bare chest. Soon, Xander's hand was slick with come as he continued to rub Spike's tender flesh.

The vampire straightened and pushed Xander's tormenting hands away. The boy looked up at him from beneath thick lashes, his brown eyes gleaming like a fine scotch. A tremor ran through Spike and he turned away from Xander before he could be devoured by the younger man's gaze.

The hot breath on Spike's left side preceded a long rasp of a wet tongue. He stiffened for an instant, then let out a low groan as the tongue continued to trace a warm path on his cool skin.

A hand on his lower back nudged him forward and he bent over. His denims dropped further around his knees, but his boots prevented their removal. He started to unlace his Docs, but ended up bracing his weight on the tops of his boots when Xander's wicked tongue found its way in between the blond's muscular asscheeks.

Spike's fingers curled over the toes of his boots and his blunt nails dug into the rubber soles as the boy's tongue slipped inside him. He let out a hiss of pleasure and tried not to rock back.

"No, don't stop," Spike whispered when Xander abandoned his task. The vampire soon shuddered when the mouth returned and cool liquid was blown into him.

"And they say beer is good for nothing," Xander mumbled, his lips against Spike's firm backside. He scraped his blunt teeth over the solid flesh as he pushed the beer bottle back between the cushions.

Xander raised his hips and quickly shoved his boxers down around his thighs. He wiped his hand through a small gob of Spike's emissions on his stomach and quickly smeared it over his aching erection.

With one hand holding his stiff length, Xander grabbed Spike's bare hip and tried to pull the blond onto his lap. Spike's arms flailed a moment, the jeans around his knees throwing off his balance, before he managed to catch himself. His hands sunk into the couch cushions on either side of Xander, and Xander used the opportunity to guide Spike home.

"Oh hell, Spike," Xander breathed. His cock was in the tightest, softest, damned best place on the planet. It'd been way too long since he'd had a good piece of ass. Not since... well, Spike.

Xander dropped his head forward and forced himself to gain control before this was a really short lay. It didn't help any that Spike's inner muscles were spasming around the invasion. It also didn't help that the couple in the late night movie were starting to get very vocal with their own coupling.

The brunette glanced over at the television in time to see a tanned set of knockers swinging away as the girl in the movie got happy. His cock pulsed and swelled even further, and his hands tightened on Spike's hips. Xander had always been a T&A kind of guy. And what could be better than seeing those gorgeous tits on the tube while being sheathed in the greatest ass this side of Poughkeepsie?

Xander ran his mouth over Spike's bare shoulder and up the side of his neck to his ear. The younger man lightly licked the rim of Spike's ear before whispering, "Ride me, Spike."

Spike's cock came back to life with Xander's hot breath beside his ear. The boy's husky command was accompanied by a thrust upward, and Spike groaned softly at the feeling of Xander inside of him.

The vampire leaned forward and put his hands on his knees. Because his jeans were still around his legs he was limited in movements, but centuries of sex taught him a trick or three. Xander was damn lucky for that. Or was it he who was the lucky one for getting to shag Xander...

Using his thigh muscles, Spike began to ride Xander. It felt so bloody wonderful. The blond set up a nice rhythm, almost bouncing against Xander's lap, the younger man's long, thick length sliding in and out of him. The hands at his waist helped keep the pace steady and sure.

The commercial came on the television and Xander dropped his head back with a moan. His eyes were unfocused as he stared up at the ceiling. Spike's even tempo was driving him nuts. He knew for a fact that he'd never felt anything as good -- sorry, Anya -- as fucking Spike. Maybe it was time to start thinking with his dick instead of his brains and dump the ex-demon for the chipped-demon.

"Jimminy Cricket, Spike," Xander groaned when Spike's inner muscles squeezed around him. Unknowingly, he dug his fingernails into the vampires hips, creating little half-moons of blood.

Spike smelled the blood and the scent shot straight to his groin. He wanted so badly to stroke himself, but he needed his hands to keep shagging Xander like he was. "Xander," he groaned softly. "A little help here."

Xander raised his head and watched the pretty colors swim in the air. Coming soon, he thought, before answering. "Hmm?"

"Touch me," Spike rasped.

"What do you say?" Xander said, his tone more like an order than teasing due to the fact he was holding his breath as he felt himself getting close.

Suddenly, the delicious feeling surrounding his cock was gone. Xander snapped back from the edge as if a bucket of ice water had been thrown over him. He saw Spike scrambling to his feet, yanking up his jeans as he did so.

"What the hell?" Xander stared, non-comprehending, at Spike, who glared daggers at him in return.

"I will not submit to you," Spike ground out.

Xander blinked several times at the hurt he heard underlining the anger in Spike's voice. It dawned on him that by his teasing he'd unintentionally poured salt into an open wound. Spike's reaction also screamed insecurity, something Xander would never have associated with a vampire until now. It was... sweet.

Standing, Xander allowed his boxers to fall to the floor. He stepped out of them and walked over to the blond. The fact that he was naked, hard, and comfortable enough to be that way in a vampire's presence screamed idiocy. So did thinking the words "Spike" and "sweet" in conjunction with each other.

Xander could care less. If he was an idiot, so be it. He had a sexy half-naked man to reassure and a hard-on that was killing him.

The brunette stopped directly in front of Spike, cupped the other man's cheeks and pressed a soft kiss on his mouth. Xander's knew his actions were like those of a concerned boyfriend... and, for some reason, that didn't bother him at all.

"I don't want you to submit to me, Spike," Xander said, meeting Spike's way-too-expressive blue eyes. "I just want to be your lover."

Spike studied the dark-haired boy who was looking so intently at him. There was a subtle strength to Xander's words that matched the gentle pressure against the vampire's cheeks. It didn't seem to matter to Xander that he was naked. He exuded confidence and, incredibly, safety.

Spike hadn't felt safe in over a century, not since the night his sire left with Darla for a "private holiday." The fact that Angelus never returned hadn't helped any.

Now, this boy, this strange, humorous, nicely built man-child was offering him a chance to feel safe again. That, and sex. Can't forget the sex.

"Tell you what," Spike said in a low, quiet voice. "You protect me from humans and give me your word you'll never make me submit to you, and I'll protect you from demons and teach you how to fake having superpowers."

"Sounds good," Xander said, dropping his hands. "But only on one condition."

Spike narrowed his eyes. "Yeah, what's that?"

Xander gave him an off-kilter grin. "We get to have sex. Often."

"Oh, well, that's a given." Spike slowly raked his eyes over Xander's naked body and licked his lips. "That's most definitely a given."

Xander felt the blush creep up his cheeks even as his cock jumped under Spike's blatant perusal. The brunette quickly turned and walked over to the couch. By the time he turned around again, Spike was pressing him down onto the couch, bare flesh to bare flesh.

Their mouths met in silent agreement, sealing their pact. Spike's tongue slipped between Xander's warm lips to tangle with the boy's tongue. Spike's erection, which had all but disappeared, returned almost immediately and he ground himself against the other man. Strong, capable hands slid down Spike's back to his buttocks, cupped the twin globes and pressed his lower body firmly against Xander's.

Xander moaned softly when Spike moved away. He opened heavy-lidded eyes and glared balefully at the vampire. "Spiiiike," he whined.

"Just a second," Spike chastised, reaching above Xander for the beer bottle still wedged between the couch cushions. The blond felt Xander's nails scrape up his sides, and he hissed and arched his back.

One corner of Xander's mouth quirked before he scratched back down Spike's sides. Spike hissed again and shuddered. Neat.

"Cut it out, you cocktease," Spike gasped as the boy did it again.

"Wouldn't tease if you'd fuck me already," Xander told him.

Spike sat up, his knees on either side of Xander, arched his brow in an imperious manner, and dumped the remainder of the beer on the brunette's erect shaft. Xander let out a strangled groan when the luke-warm brew hit his overheated skin.

The vampire scooted forward, raised his hips, and impaled himself onto Xander. Xander's hands latched onto Spike's hips as he uncontrollably thrust upward. Their flesh met, Xander's pelvis pressed tightly against Spike's buttocks, and they froze.

Spike stared down at Xander. He waited for the other man to tell him to move or some other order, but it never came. Xander simply waited, his eyes unwavering as they held Spike's, breathing heavily through his mouth.

Spike blamed the chip for the feelings that stole over him. He felt protected, wanted, needed, and, most importantly, in control. Yeah, he couldn't drain the whelp dry, but he didn't want to... well, except of every last drop of come from the mortal deep inside of him.

Pathetic? Yes. Did he care? Not a bloody whit.

Spike finally started to move, rising up and down on Xander's hard length, and the younger man's eyes rolled. "Ooooh yeah," Xander breathed. "Just keep doing that, please."

"You mean this?" Spike taunted, adding a roll of his hips to his movements.


Spike's chuckle was cut off by a sharp inhale when the head of Xander's cock hit that magic spot. The vampire shut his eyes and concentrated on hitting the spot again and again.

Xander watched Spike through slitted eyes. The blond's head was thrown back and he was panting needlessly as he rode Xander. Xander dropped his gaze to the marble shaft thumping rhythmically against his abdomen and he ran his tongue over his lower lip. He wanted to see that beautiful cock shoot its wad, he wanted to taste Spike's salty come on his tongue.

Spike must've heard his thoughts, because he suddenly stiffened and rasped hoarsely, "Aaaah shhhhit." His shaft erupted, shooting stream after stream of milky white fluid. Most hit Xander's chest, but some reached his face, dotting his mouth and chin, and he eagerly licked it away.

"Mmm, nummy," Xander purred, dipping his fingertips in a small puddle of semen on his chest then sucking them clean.

Spike's eyes flew open in time to see Xander's repeat his actions. The vampire's cock jumped, shooting a tiny bit more at Xander's naughtiness. Xander's big brown eyes were filled with devilish glee as his mouth slid into a wicked smile.

"Planning to fuck you hard, now," Xander told Spike. "Hope you don't mind."

Since Spike couldn't get his tongue to work, he shook his head in response.

And then suddenly he was the one on his back, and Xander was holding his legs wide apart and was pounding into him. The younger man's face was twisted into a vulpine snarl, his eyes screwed shut as he sought his own fulfillment.

Xander slammed up against Spike's ass, releasing a guttural, "Spaaahhhh." His fingers bruised Spike's pale thighs as his climax washed over him. He came long and hard after being denied release for so long, filling the vampire's tight hole with his jism.

Xander collapsed forward onto Spike, releasing the blond's legs, and he panted heavily against the other man's neck. Spike hooked his ankles over Xander's upper legs and wrapped his arms around the boy's hot, sweaty body. He unconsciously nuzzled Xander's dark hair, shutting his eyes, and allowed post-orgasm lethargy to steal over him.

"Can't sleep like this," Xander mumbled against Spike's neck. "Someone may see."

"Then we'll move," Spike said, his voice low and sleep-filled.

"On three," Xander said around a yawn, Morpheus calling to him. "One..."

"Two...," Spike continued almost inaudibly.

They never reached three.

Tales to Astonish

Spike realizes his feelings for Xander. Xander gets laid.
Post The Replacement

Spike took a final drag from his cigarette as he rounded the side of Xander's house before flicking the butt away. There was almost a bounce to the vampire's step, as there had been for the past few weeks. Clutched in his hand was a Ziplock-bagged present that he couldn't wait to give to Xander.

It had been about a month since Spike had found a kinship with Xander after the events surrounding Dracula's visit to Sunnydale, a month of great sex and growing companionship that Spike wouldn't trade for anything. Well, except for getting the chip out of his head, but that was a given.

Xander's job at the appliance store had ended, making it trickier for Spike to visit with his newfound friend, but they found a chance to be together practically every other night. Spike didn't mind the job change because of the physical effects working construction had on Xander. The brunette was becoming more muscular and confident because he'd found something he was very good at.

Anya was still a sore point for Spike, although he kept his mouth shut about it. She kept eating into Xander's time, leaving less for the vampire to spend with him. Spike wasn't jealous, though. Really.

But Anya wasn't with Xander tonight -- Spike had run into her at the grocer's while he was knicking the Ziplocks and extracted that information from her -- which gave Spike the perfect opportunity to give Xander the prize he'd found at the dump the night the brunette had gotten zapped by the demon. Spike had felt a painful ball form in his chest when Xander had been hit, but the boy had been helped to his feet almost immediately and he looked fine. Spike had explained away the painful feeling as heartburn, despite the fact that malady couldn't happen to a vampire.

Spike descended the steps to Xander's basement "apartment" and knocked on the door. He didn't wait for an answer before turning the knob and pushing the unlocked door open. "Xander, you'll never believe what... I..."

The blond's words trailed off and he blinked several times in disbelief. The basement was empty. Not simply Xanderless, but Xander-furniture-less. There was nothing but a set of storage shelves and the washer and dryer, both of which were in use. There was no mini-fridge, no table, no orange recliner, no television casting a blue-white light on the missing worn-out pull-out sofa where Spike had spent the night with Xander half-laying on top of him. Nothing.

The air Spike didn't really need was sucked out of him, painfully tightening his chest. He took a step further into the empty basement, then another, his eyes searching for the man he expected to find. "Xander?"

A door opened, the overhead light came on and footsteps sounded on the stairs. Spike started towards the stairs. "Xander, where--"

It wasn't Xander. A bitter-looking woman in jeans and a sweatshirt stopped at the bottom of the steps and stared at him without fear. "Who the hell are you?"

"Er... I'm a friend of Xander's," Spike replied. She must be Xander's mother, he thought.

"Xander's gone," Mrs. Harris said in a gravelly alcohol-and-smoke-damaged voice. "And good riddance."

"Gone?" Spike didn't like the sound of that.

"Yeah, gone, as in not here anymore," Mrs. Harris barked. She grabbed a can of coffee off the storage shelf at the foot of the stairs. "Just like you're about to be."

Spike nodded and started for the open door. Questions raced through his mind, and he almost didn't hear what Mrs. Harris muttered as she climbed back up the stairs. Almost.

"If Xander has as many friends at his funeral as have tromped through here the last two days, I sure as hell ain't gonna have a reception afterwards."

It was as if a sledgehammer hit Spike in the chest. His knees shook on his next step, then gave out and he sunk to the cement floor. The Ziplock bag in his hand crinkled from his tightened grip.

In shock, Spike didn't register the fact that the overhead light went off and the door at the top of the stairs slammed shut. He was numb. Two words circled round and round in his head: Xander, funeral... Xander, funeral... Xander, funeral... Xander, funeral...

Unbeknownst to Spike, large, fat tears rolled down his defined cheeks as he stared sightlessly at the partially open basement door. The washing machine cycled and the dryer clunked. The vampire heard neither.

The outer door slowly opened further and a dark-haired vampire cautiously peeked inside. A puzzled expression crossed Angel's face when he spotted Spike. "Spike? What are you doing here?"

Spike didn't answer, nor did he even acknowledge there was anyone speaking to him. Angel saw the tears and a deep frown replaced the questioning look on his face. He entered the basement, having been previously invited by Xander.

Angel crouched down in front of the peroxide blond. He hadn't seen Spike since Thanksgiving, almost a year prior. He knew about the chip in the other vampire's skull, but he didn't think Spike was in good standing with Buffy or her friends.

"Spike," Angel tried quietly, studying the silently crying man before him. He reached out and touched Spike's shoulder. "Spike, what's wrong?"

Spike snapped out of his shock with a jerk. He saw Angel through his blurry eyes. His fingers crinkled the plastic bag again. "Angel?" he questioned in a thick voice.

"Spike, what's wrong?" Angel repeated.

Spike opened his mouth again to speak, but a thin, high-pitched whine came out instead as the numbness abruptly vanished and what he'd heard sunk in. The feelings he'd been denying thrust to the forefront of his mind, and his body began to tremble hard.

Xander was dead.

Spike loved him.

"Z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z," Spike attempted to speak again, but sobs had overtaken him.

Confusion and worry had Angel instantly dropping to his knees and gathering Spike to him. The object in Spike's hand was crushed between them. "Shh, shh, shh," the dark-haired vampire said softly. "I'm here. I've got you. Shh, shh..."

Spike hiccoughed repeatedly, his thin form shuddering in Angel's embrace. He pressed his face against Angel's coat, the material soaking up his freely flowing tears. Grief squeezed his heart in an excruciating vice, and he hoped that it would burst. Then he'd be dust and he wouldn't have to live with the fact that he was in love with Xander and Xander was dead.

Spike suddenly lifted his head and smashed his mouth to Angel's. He wanted to forget. He wanted to feel something other than the pain inside him.

Angel pushed Spike away, gently, but firmly. "Woah, Spike. What are you doing?"

"Just fuck me," Spike pleaded, trying to get close to Angel again.

Angel held fast to Spike, preventing him from moving. "You don't really want that."

"Yes, I do," Spike said quickly. He twisted the Ziplock bagged gift in his hands and quashed another sob that tried to escape. "I do."


"Please," Spike whispered, tears shimmering on his dark lashes as he begged Angel. "Please make it stop."

"I can't make it stop if you don't tell me what's wrong," Angel said.

Spike's vision blurred again, and it felt like a red-hot knife pierced his heart. "Xander's dead," he answered in a voice filled with devastation.

Angel frowned. "But I just saw him at his new apartment."

Spike blinked. "What?"

"I just saw him," Angel repeated, confusion marring his features. "Giles brought me over to his new place to get something I needed that Xander had borrowed. Xander told me he accidently left it here."

"But Xander's mum said he was dead," Spike said. "Why did she say he was dead if he's not dead?"

"I don't know," Angel replied. "But Xander is not dead."

"Oh." Spike's heart tripped. Xander wasn't dead. The man he was in love with wasn't dead. He wasn't dead. "Oh."

Angel looked at Spike thoughtfully. "You're in love with him, aren't you?"

Spike met Angel's eyes, saw the caring and concern in them, and knew instantly that he was, without a doubt, truly in love.

Because he didn't feel a thing for Angel.

"Yes," Spike said, clutching Xander's gift to his chest as it swelled with happiness. "Very much so."

A corner of Angel's mouth quirked. "I feel sorry for you."

Spike scowled. "Oi! That's my lover you're makin' fun of."

"Lover?" Angel's brow went up. "Since when?"

"None of your soddin' business." Spike shook off Angel's hold and stood. "Now, if you don't mind -- and I don't rightly care if you do -- I have a living, breathing, walking, talking, irritating as all hell Xander to kill."

Lifting his chin imperiously, Spike marched through the still open basement door.

Angel had just gotten to his feet when Spike returned and cleared his throat. "Uh, where's Xander's new flat?"


Xander groaned when he heard the knock at the door, the noise breaking the peacefulness of the dark apartment. He was exhausted, having spent the day unpacking his things. He hadn't realized how much crap he actually had until he had to move. All he really wanted to do now was put his feet up in his new living room and listen to the blessed parental-free silence.

The person pounding at his door had other ideas.

With a put-upon sigh, Xander stood, hitched up his ratty, old unbuttoned blue jeans and headed for the door. His bare feet were silent -- and warm! -- on the carpeted floor. He didn't bother to grab the shirt that had been tossed over the counter earlier. It was his apartment, damn it, he could dress how he wanted to in it.

A single glance out the peep-hole made Xander groan again. How the hell had Spike found his new place already? He hadn't seen the bleached moron since the gang had run into him at the garbage dump. The same night that one Xander had become two Xanders, which had been not of the fun.

"Spike, go away," Xander sighed as he opened the door. "I'm tired and Anya has already met my sex-quota for the day."

Xander expected some wheedling, or at least an insult or two about his girlfriend. Instead, Spike stood on the opposite side of the threshold, clutching a Ziplock bag to his chest and staring at Xander as if he were the last piece of chocolate on the face of the earth.

Xander's loose jeans grew a little tighter. Maybe the sex-quota wasn't met.

"Aren't you going to invite me in?" Spike asked huskily.

His voice sent a zing straight to Xander's groin. Sex-quota most definitely not met, the brunette amended as he stepped back, pulling the door further open. "Come in, Spike."

Spike's blue eyes bore into Xander's for a moment before he stepped into the apartment. Xander swallowed back the desire to jump the vampire's bones... at least until after he got the door closed.

"Nice," Spike commented, further entering the newly unpacked apartment.

"Thanks," Xander said over his shoulder. Door shut and locked. And chained because he gave Anya a key. "I'm going to have to work Satur..."

Xander lost his speech capabilities when he turned around. He knew there was a law somewhere that said men weren't allowed to be beautiful. Especially evil undead men.

But handsome didn't begin to describe the vampire standing in his living room. Moonlight filtered through the leaded windows that curved around an entire wall, casting a ethereal glow over Spike's pale features. Shadows deepened the valleys beneath his high cheekbones, making them look sharper, like they were cut from ice. His pale pink lips glistened with moisture from being licked. His white-blond hair softened, capturing the light instead of reflecting it.

He resembled a painting Xander once saw; ironically titled Uppyr -- Vampire.

It had been before Buffy's time, before Xander had learned that monsters really existed. It had been near the end of eighth grade, and he'd gone on a school field trip to some Los Angeles Art Museum. He'd sat with Willow and Jesse on the school bus, hatching plans of mischief to be carried out on their free day from classes.

The painting had been in the fourth gallery, part of a Russian collection from an artist with a name that had no vowels. Xander had glanced upon it casually as he cased the room for places to hide during the afternoon game they'd planned. But his eyes had strayed back to it and his attention caught.

The man in the painting, like Spike, had been bathed in the moonlight, and the black coat he'd worn blew in an invisible wind as he walked down a dark, desolate street. He'd been blond and blue-eyed, as well, and Xander had been drawn by his exquisite beauty.

The fifteen-year-old Xander had reacted to the painting physically and, embarrassed, he'd bolted for the next gallery and the most ugly lady painting he could find. Later, he'd learned from Willow the painting's title and what it meant.

The twenty-year-old Xander reacted to the blue-eyed blond in the living room the same way he had to the painting, but this time he wasn't embarrassed, nor did he run. Instead, he closed the distance between himself and Spike, grabbed the back of the vampire's hair, and crushed their mouths together.

Xander could hear his heavy breathing in the silence of the apartment as he hungrily kissed Spike. It was strange not having -- or needing -- the television or radio on to muffle the sounds of lovemaking from his parents.

Although, come to think of it, he'd had the radio on the past two days during Anya's many orgasms. In fact, he'd used it as a distraction to prolong his own climax to provide those multiple orgasms. He could even go as far to say that he'd never completely focused on Anya the entire time they'd christened the various rooms in the apartment.

There was no radio on now, though, and it was as if simple sounds were amplified. His breathing. The creak of leather as Spike moved his arms. The crinkle of the plastic bag in Spike's hand. The rasp of a calloused palm against skin. The soft, wet, sucking of their mouths moving against one another's.

Xander pulled away first. He took a ragged breath before opening his eyes. His thumb brushed over the back of Spike's hair as he focused on the blond.

Spike was breathing heavily, too, despite it being unnecessary. His lips were swollen and darker pink, and he looked ready to be kissed again.

But his blue eyes were framed with glistening lashes, and shimmering tear tracks ran down the contours of his face.

"Spike?" Xander questioned softly.

Spike shook his head and wiped his cheeks with the back of his hand. He dropped his eyes and cleared his throat, shifting from foot to foot. "I, uh, found something at the rubbish dump that I thought you might like to have."

Xander released him completely, but did not step back. "Oh really?"

"Here." Spike shoved the crumpled Ziplock bag at Xander.

Xander turned the plastic bag over to see the front of whatever Spike had given to him. His eyes widened and his jaw dropped. "Spike, do you... this is... holy shit."

"Sorry it's a bit crumpled," Spike apologized uncomfortably. "It's probably not worth anything, but I thought, you know...," he shrugged, " collect comics, and maybe you didn't have that one."

"Spike, this is Marvel's Tales to Astonish #27," Xander breathed in wonderment. "Steve Ditko and Jack Kirby. The first appearance of Ant-Man."

"Right." Spike shoved his hands in his pockets. "I guess you like it."

"Like it? I love it!" Xander stated. "I can't believe you gave this to me. Do you know how much this is worth, even in this condition?"

Spike shrugged again. "Don't know. Don't really care. It's just a piece of rubbish I picked up."

"Wow." Xander held the plastic bag reverently. "Are you sure you don't want to sell it?"

"I'm sure."

"Spike, I don't know what to say." Xander raised his eyes from the bag and met Spike's uncomfortable gaze. "Thank you."

"Whatever," Spike responded, dropping his chin to stare at the floor.

"Man, I bet someone's really pissed at their mom for throwing this out," Xander commented as he went to put it on the counter. He shook his head in amazement as he laid the bag down. "This is so wow."

"Why did your mum tell me you were dead?"

The question came so far out of left field that Xander whipped around and banged his elbow on the edge of the countertop. "Wh-ow- what?"

Spike had moved to the windows, his back to Xander as he looked out over the street. "You didn't tell me you were leaving your parents' house. I stopped by there, and your mum was talking about your funeral."

"Did she say I was dead or was she just talking about my funeral?" Xander asked.

"Funeral," Spike replied. "But either way, I..."

"You thought I was dead," Xander completed. He sighed. "Great going, mom."

Xander heard a sniff and he frowned in Spike's direction. A second sniff and quick hand movements to wipe cheeks prompted Xander to move. Was Spike crying?

"Hey," Xander said quietly, sliding his arm around Spike's shoulders as he stopped beside the blond. "Is everything okay?"

Spike tried to shrug off Xander's arm as he half-turned his back to the boy. "Everything's peaches 'n cream."

Xander knew Spike was lying through his fangs. "You know, my parents don't think I'm going to survive living on my own," the brunette said. "That's probably what my mom meant when she was talking about funeral arrangements."

Spike's laugh bordered on hysterical. He pulled away from Xander and headed for the door. "Don't fool yourself into thinking that I'd care if you were dead. I'd be the one dancing a bloody jig at your gravesite."

"You're a real jackass, you know that?" Xander folded his arms across his chest and glared at Spike's back, any and all sympathy for the vampire having flown out the proverbial window. "A Grade-A asshole."

"Fuck you very much," Spike said over his shoulder.

"I'd rather screw Angel," Xander retorted scathingly.

Spike spun around, his coattails snapping. "Don't you fucking dare."

Xander narrowed his eyes at the challenge. "I'm sure I can still catch him before he leaves town. He gave me his cellphone number..."

Spike roared, his face changing as he charged at Xander. Xander rolled his eyes and side-stepped, using the move that he'd learned from the vampire himself. Xander grabbed the back of Spike's duster before he could hit the thick windows and tossed him onto the carpeted floor.

Xander pressed his bare foot against the middle of Spike's leather-clad back, pinning the vampire to the floor. Arms crossed again, he glared down at Spike. "What the hell is your problem?"

"My problem is you!" Spike snarled. He abruptly rolled away from Xander and jumped to his feet.

Xander inhaled deeply, reining in his anger before he spoke. "You know what? I don't care," he began. "I don't have to put up with your crap. I don't even like you. You're just a good lay to me." He pointed toward the door. "There's the door. Make sure it hits you on your way out."

Spike's features melted back to human and he sneered, his blue eyes spitting fire. "Goodbye, Xander." The way he said it made the words sound more like a curse than a salutation.

Xander watched Spike stalk towards the door. An inner voice told the brunette that, once Spike walked out of the apartment, he'd never see the vampire again.


Spike was at the door, yanking on the chain.

Not good.

Xander was upon Spike instantly. He spun the blond and crushed Spike's mouth under his, forcing his tongue between surprised lips. Damn the vampire!!

Xander shoved Spike's duster off his shoulders and it fell to the floor with a shush of the material. The brunette pulled Spike's tee-shirt from his jeans and broke the kiss only long enough to remove it. Xander's jeans followed suit.

Spike's fingers dug into Xander's lower back and he ground his hips against the other man's. Xander dragged his fingernails down from Spike's shoulders over his pectorals to his nipples, leaving red welts. The brunette pinched the hard nipples, eliciting a throaty whimper from Spike.

Xander ripped his mouth from Spike's and dropped to his knees. He quickly worked the laces of Spike's Docs, then moved back up to Spike's belt as the blond toed off his boots. The buckle and buttonfly of Spike's jeans were undone in rapid succession and Xander yanked the denim down and off.

Spike's freed length wept and Xander wasted no time in licking the salty wetness away. The vampire moaned and rapped his head against the door. "Xanderrrr..."

Xander put his hands on Spike's hips and engulfed the blond's throbbing manhood. His tongue lashed the underside of the cool hardness in his mouth.

The door screeched under Spike's fingernails as he dragged them across the painted wood. "Oh hell, Xander... yes... right like that...," he babbled in a raspy voice as Xander sucked him. "Ohhhh fuck... please... Xannn..."

Blunt teeth slid across hard flesh. Saliva dripped from between stretched lips. Wet, messy sucking accompanied the accented litany of words.

"Shit, coming, coming, coming, coming...," Spike repeated over and over, his feet sliding in the puddle of clothing at his feet as he pushed up on his toes.

Xander held fast as Spike bucked against him. Lukewarm jism filled his mouth as the vampire let out a garbled cry of pleasure. Xander swallowed quickly, the bittersweet semen coating his throat as it went down his gullet. The member between his lips pulsed six times in total, shooting its thick load into his mouth.

When no more of the viscous fluid was forthcoming, Xander released Spike's cock and sat back on his heels. He hocked several times before spitting into his hand and spreading the slimy substance over his waiting erection.

"Wrap your arms around my neck," Xander murmured to Spike after he'd stood. The younger man's biceps bulged as he hoisted the vampire up, using the door for support. After a little jostling and some struggle, Xander slid home.

Xander's eyes rolled and his eyelids fluttered as he was encased in the velvety warmth of Spike's body. His breathing was ragged as he sought for control before he exploded.

"Aw, fuck it," Xander growled, bringing his hips back before thrusting back into Spike. Spike's inner muscles spasmed around Xander's cock and Xander groaned low and long.

The brunette set a quick, steady pace, his hands holding Spike's asscheeks stretched apart as he thrust in and out of the vampire. Spike's lower back thumped rhythmically against the door, the hollow sound filling the entryway and ringing up and down the outer hall.

Xander buried his face against Spike's neck, his eyes screwed shut as he fucked the blond. Spike's arms were tight around his neck and cold heels dug into his back. A low rumbling undercut the thumping, and Spike's chest vibrated with the sound.

"Nneeaaaggghhhh." Xander's world disintegrated into white shooting stars that flashed across the backs of his eyelids. He spilled himself deep inside Spike's grasping channel, his orgasm seeming to go on forever. Never had he felt anything as good -- as perfect -- as coming inside Spike. It was as if Spike was made to be filled by Xander specifically.

Xander shuddered and fell still, panting heavily against Spike's pale neck. His heart hammered in his chest and was accompanied by the deep rumbling coming from the vampire. It took a minute or five for Xander to comprehend what he was hearing. When he did, a wide smile spread across his face and he chuckled softly. Spike was purring like a motorboat.

Raising his head, Xander chuckled again at the absolute contentment expressed on Spike's face. He dropped a quick kiss on the tip of the blond's nose, pulled his softening cock free from Spike's body and lowered the vampire to his feet.

Spike blinked several times and the purring tapered off. A goofy grin replaced the contented expression. "Make-up sex is fun."

Xander threw his head back and laughed. "Gods, Spike, what am I going to do with you?" he asked after he calmed down.

"Love me?" Spike replied with a wide-eyed, childish look.

Xander pulled Spike's arms from around his neck. "I was thinking more along the lines of bathing you."

Spike stuck his lower lip out and batted his eyelashes. "Love me?" he repeated.

"And feeding you," Xander added with a knowing grin.

The childishness disappeared and a serious Spike stared intently at Xander. "Love me?"

Xander's smile faded and he blinked several times. Oh my effing god, he thought. Spike wasn't joking. "Spike, I don't even like you."

"So?" Spike said.

"So, I think you'd better leave," Xander said. He scooped up his jeans and headed into the living room to put them on.

By the time he turned around again, the door was wide open and Spike was gone.

But I Don't Like Him

Xander thinks about what happened with Spike.
Post The Replacement

The museum was quiet, still. The school children, with their games and sack lunches, their harried chaperones and too expensive souvenirs, had been bussed back to their schools in time to go home. The nighttime patrons were still at their daytime jobs, crunching numbers, drafting proposals, or designing the stars. A few tourists wandered through the exhibits, a Japanese family here and a French couple there, speaking their native languages in hushed tones.

One man, a young one with too-long dark hair and too-troubled dark eyes, had arrived at the museum's opening. The name-tagged employees, with their plastic smiles and tour guide voices, hadn't paid him any mind when he'd walked with purposeful strides directly to the fourth gallery. The security guards, sitting behind their camera monitors with their donuts and hot coffee, had watched the casually dressed brunette move one of the benches before sitting upon it. He'd been there all day.

The light never changed in the controlled environment of the museum. Each piece was lit in a certain way to attract attention and highlight innate beauty, even though the paintings were nothing more than patterned strokes of oil or watercolor on canvas by artists long dead.

Lugubrious, thy name is Xander, the dark-haired young man thought as he propped his elbows on his knees and rested his chin on his cupped hands. It was a sure sign that he'd been sitting there too long when he started using the big words, although Willow would be proud.

He wouldn't move, however. Couldn't. The painting had captured his attention within moments of his arriving at the museum and had kept him enthralled. Tons of noisy children had paraded in and out of the gallery throughout the day, but he'd ignored them. He hadn't budged from his spot on the black metal bench all day, a fact that his bladder and his ass could testify to.

Xander had called in sick to work to come to the art museum he'd visited once, years ago. He hadn't planned on driving to L.A. when he'd gone to bed the previous night; the idea had simply sprung to his mind first thing that morning. Before he knew it, he'd called off work, climbed into Uncle Rory's car and took off for La-La-Land.

He knew why he was at the museum, though. It was obvious, even for someone as brainless as him. The reason was painted on the wall. Or, at least, hanging on it.

"So very much like Spike," Xander murmured. Same sharp cheekbones. Same blue eyes. Same blond hair. Same black coat. If Xander squinted, the vampire in the painting became the one that had been constantly on his mind over the past three weeks.

Xander sighed. He definitely hadn't expected Spike's hopeful entreaty that night three weeks back. Spike was a vampire, for Pete's sake, a demon. He was supposed to take advantage of Xander, not fall in love with him! The relationship was supposed to be about sex, which, okay, later changed into sex and protection, but it was still rooted in sex. And sex and love weren't correlated.

And he makes with the vocabulary again, Xander thought. Why couldn't he remember these words when he'd taken his SATs?

Xander shifted his position on the bench again, pulling one knee up to his chest and leaning his cheek against it. He really didn't know what to do about what happened with Spike. Worse, he actually missed the peroxide nuisance. They'd spent enough time together post-Dracula that Xander had gotten used to having Spike around. Heck, they'd even watched a hilariously horrid B-movie together and shared a bowl of popcorn, complete with cliché hand-bumping, brushing and eventual holding in the buttery confines of the large bowl.

"But I don't even like him," Xander whined to himself. And he most certainly didn't love the blond vampire. In his twenty years, he'd only loved two people: Jesse and Ampata -- and both of them were dead.

Damn, Xander missed them. Jesse, whom he'd loved despite his vehement denial of being attracted to other men. Ampata, the girl he'd fallen fast and hard for, and got to be with for just two days.

Did he once have feelings for Cordelia? Yes. Did he have feelings for Anya? Yes. But did he ever love them?


It was funny, in a this-is-not-really-funny-funny sort of way; he'd cheated on both girls. He'd cheated on Cordelia with his best friend and he'd cheated on Anya with his best enemy. If he had truly loved either of them, he knew for a fact that he wouldn't have acted adulterously.

Anya was probably at home right now, thinking of painful things to do to Xander for breaking up with her. He hadn't told her about the thing -- whatever it was -- with Spike. He'd simply broken it off, citing the usual platitudes: "I'm not good for you," "You need someone who loves you completely," and his personal favorite, "One day, you'll thank me."

The last one had given Xander a new understanding of what 1,100-years did for inventive cussing. His ears were still red.

Xander squinted at the painting and blew out a puff of air through loose lips, making him sound like an unhappy horse. Spike. Spike, Spike, Spike, Spike, Spike, Spike, Spike. What a pain in the ass the skinny biteless one had become.

All right, he wasn't that skinny. He was... wiry. Lean. Lithe. Angular. Sinewy. Rangy. And Adjective Man strikes again!

Xander moved his chin to rest on his upraised knee, his unshaved scruff scratching across the denim. The vampire in the painting watched him with unwavering blue eyes. Eyes as blue as Spike's.

"Damn it," Xander growled. Why the hell couldn't he stop thinking about Spike?!


Xander's view of the painting was blocked suddenly and he felt an inner pang of loss, which was quickly replaced by surprise. "Cordelia?"

"Oh my god, it is you!" Cordelia smiled hugely, bent down and surprised Xander more by hugging him. "Hi! What are you doing here?"

"Getting hugged by you, apparently," Xander replied.

Cordelia let go and sat down next to him on the bench. "I meant in L.A., nimrod."

Xander felt a sappy grin steal across his face. Same old Cordy. "To visit this art museum, actually," he told her. "What about you? I didn't think art was your thing -- unless its hanging on some rich old guy's wall."

"Rich young guy," Cordelia corrected. "And I'm here with Angel and Wesley. There's been several thefts by an invisible robber and we've been hired to catch him. Or her. Or it."

"Sounds...," Xander floundered for a word, not wanting to piss her off. He needn't have worried, because Cordelia filled in the word herself.

"Boring, with a capitol 'B'," Cordelia said. "As you said, I like my art on rich young men's walls." She glanced at the painting in front of them and frowned. "Although this one I wouldn't like. He looks too much like someone I know."

"Yeah," Xander sighed and lowered his foot to the ground. "I know."

"What's wrong with you?" Cordelia asked abruptly.

"Huh?" Xander was puzzled. "What do you mean?"

"You Angel-sighed," Cordelia said. "A full-on, broody, weight-of-a-zillion-souls-on-my-shoulders Angel-sigh."

Great, Spike was getting Angel-sighs. "Nothing's wrong, Cordy," Xander said.

"Don't lie to me, Xander Harris," Cordelia scolded. "I may not like you, but that doesn't mean you can lie to me."

"Oh, that's going to get me to spill," Xander scoffed. Cordelia simply glared at him until he gave in. Took a whole five seconds. "Fine. I'm having relationship issues."

"With Anya?" Cordelia's brow furrowed. "You're still dating her, right?"

Xander shook his head. "Not anymore. I broke it off."

"Good. I didn't like the snotty demon bitch anyway," Cordelia said. Xander glared and she added, "I meant that in the nicest way possible."


Cordelia lightly slapped his leg. "So tell. Who's the new girlie that has you looking like Dawson when he sees Joey? Not that I watch that crap."

"Um...," Xander bit his lower lip, not wanting to admit anything, but really wanting someone to talk to, "...uh..."

"Before I die, Xander," Cordelia growled.

"Boy," Xander blurted, then fell silent.

"Boy what?" Cordelia prompted. "Boy, this is a doozy story, or boy, I wish a hole would open up beneath me so that I won't have to talk to Cordelia."

"Boy as in of the male persuasion." Xander chuckled self-consciously. "My new girlfriend is a boy." He frowned. "But I don't like him."

"Oh." Cordelia blinked. Blinked again. And again. "Oh. You're gay?"

"Bi," Xander shrugged, "but it doesn't matter much, because I don't like him."

"You said that already," Cordelia said offhandedly. A sly smile crossed her lips and she had a faraway look in her eyes. "Oh yeah, I can see that. Not a problem."

She suddenly straightened her posture and smiled brightly. "So, what's your boyfriend's name? What's he like? Is he cute? If so, does he have a straight brother? Or, better yet, a rich one?"

"Cordelia," Xander groaned and put a hand over his eyes, "he's not my boyfriend."

"Well, why not? It's obvious you're gaga for him," Cordelia said.

"I am not," Xander air quoted, "'gaga' for him. I don't even remotely like him."

Cordelia squealed. Xander winced and wondered when the museum started letting porpoises in.

"Oh my god! You're in love with him!" Cordelia exclaimed at an ear-piercing decibel.

Xander blanched. "I am not!"

"Oh, you so are," Cordelia countered, grinning like a maniac on acid.

Gah. No, no, no, no... "...No, no, no," Xander said quickly. "I am not into the loving of the Spp...ecial guy. No. Nope. Nien. Huh-uh. Ehhhh, sorry, wrong answer."

"Do you think about him constantly?" Cordelia asked.

"Well, uh... yeah. But that's only because I was a real prick last time I saw him," Xander replied.

"Do you feel awful because you acted like yourself?" Cordelia said. "Like a real prick?"

"Ha-ha," Xander said.

"Do you?" Cordelia prompted.

Xander sighed. "Yes. Happy?"

"Not yet," Cordelia said, still grinning. "Do you think you see him almost everywhere you go, but it turns out its not him, just some guy with the same hair or something?"

Xander rubbed the back of his neck and wished that hole would appear so he wouldn't have to talk to her anymore. "Yes, okay. Yes to all your dumb questions. That doesn't mean that I-," he shuddered, "-love him."

"What if Buffy came up to you right now and told you that he got eaten by a horrible monster? How does that make you feel?"

It felt as though his heart twisted like a wet washrag. "I still don't like him."

"Uh-huh. Liar."

"I don't!" Xander insisted. "It's just sex. Really great sex... okay, really awesome beyond wow sex, but just sex."

"What are you, some sort of rentboy?" Cordelia shook her head. "Didn't you spend any time with him outside of the bedroom?"

"Well, yeah, a bunch actually," Xander said. He half-smiled. "Watched Dawson's Creek every Wednesday together."

"Don't you wish Jack would get a nice boyfriend?" Cordelia asked. "That he would fall in love?"

"Big time," Xander replied. "The poor guy. After what that Parker look-a-like did to him. The jerk."

"You are in so deep," Cordelia said, broad grin back in place. "Only someone in love would want someone else to be in love, too."

Xander stared at her a moment. "That made... absolutely no sense."

"Fine, lie to yourself. Be miserable." Cordelia stood and smoothed out her skirt. "Just remember, your nameless love puppy might find someone else if you don't snatch him up."

"Uh-huh," Xander tentatively responded.

"Xander," Cordelia began, giving him a serious look. "Think about the times you spent with him outside the sack. If you didn't enjoy them, then you're right, you don't like or love him. But if you did..."

She then smiled, waggled her fingers, and walked away.

The painting on the wall caught Xander's attention almost immediately. So very close to Spike. He groaned. It was definitely time for a bathroom break. And a coffee break. And chocolate sounded good, too.


Ten minutes later, Xander was absently stirring a cup of hot coffee in the art museum's cafeteria, two candy bar wrappers crumpled on the bright orange table in front of him. His thoughts were swirling like the cream in his coffee, but he hoped that they'd blend together and taste great... and he was Simile Man now. Or was it Metaphor Man? He could never get the two straight.

Think about Spike outside of the bedroom, Cordelia had said. Considering Spike was topic du jour in Xander's brain these past few weeks, that wasn't too much of a strain.

"What is Spike like when we're just hanging out?" Xander asked himself. He removed the stir stick and set it on the table. He picked up the Styrofoam cup -- bad non-environmentalists -- and blew at the steaming java. He took a tentative sip. He was stalling.

Ugh. Spike. Not naked. Not sucking. Not being pounded into. Not surrounded by that velvet body that fit Xander like a glove.

Great, now he was horny. "Dumbass vampire," Xander grumbled, taking another sip of the hot coffee. He brightened. That was something! Spike was a dumbass.

Xander groaned, set his coffee aside, and thumped his forehead several times on the table. He then took a deep breath and let it out slowly, ignoring the few stares he got from the other patrons in the cafeteria.

Okay, let's try this again, Xander thought. What was Spike like when they were just hanging out?









A liar.

Xander shook his head. Spike sounded like a real swell guy. No wonder he didn't like the bleached bastard.

Adjective Man took another sip of coffee. Maybe he'd get a cool costume with "A.M." sewn on the front. He'd be the hero of helpless nouns everywhere. Oh yeah, he wasn't losing it.

"Spike," Xander said, staring into the cup of java. "During that microscopic instant of time when he's not being a jerk, do I enjoy having him around?"

The coffee didn't answer him.

Xander sighed and put the cup down again. "You're no help."

Think back, wayward son, Xander droned in his mind. He scootched down on the avocado plastic chair and toyed with the stir stick.

Every Wednesday night they'd watched Dawson's Creek at Spike's crypt and yelled at the television. Xander always had to leave right afterwards. No sex there, yet a fun time.

Spike had taught Xander some really neat moves to protect himself against Things That Go Grr. Spike had allowed Xander to use him as a practice dummy. Led to sex, but it had been a fun sexless time before hand.

Spike had brought pizza sometimes.

Xander had protected Spike the two times they'd been out together and the vampire's mouth couldn't be backed up by his fists. Of course, the brunette had gotten beaten up one of the times, but Spike acted all Proud Papa, complimenting Xander and dissing the bad humans until they got back to Xander's apartment. Then Nursie Spike had come for a visit. Blowjob had soon followed.

They'd gone to the theater when The Exorcist had its anniversary re-release. Xander had gripped Spike's hand so tight, bones had popped. Spike had thought the movie was neat; Xander had planned never to sleep again. They'd spent the remainder of the night debating the coolness factor versus the shit-inducing scariness factor. Only a short kiss'd been had before Spike had bounced out of the apartment to get back to his crypt before dawn.

Spike had brought beer sometimes. Good beer. Imported, expensive, tasty beer.

Xander had taught Spike how to do laundry after they'd watched The Great Outdoors on video. Spike hadn't been able to figure out how "Go get yourself a spin cycle" worked. Sex'd been had on the washing machine while it was running, but watching the video before that had been sexless fun.

Spike had brought chocolate on Halloween. A huge paper-bag full. Too sick to have sex, but it'd been a blast devouring the nummy goodies.

Spike had given him Tales to Astonish #27 because he knew Xander collected comic books. Fight, then awesome sex, and then Xander had become Prick Boy and he hadn't seen Spike since.

Buffy had seen Spike, though, several times since that night. She said he'd been very quiet, which had made her and everyone else but Xander the Jackass think that Spike was planning something. Xander, of course, knew the truth.

The coffee was cold when Xander finally took another sip. He grimaced, but drank it down. If anything, the caffeine would keep him awake until he went to apologize to Spike. And perhaps have make-up sex, too.

Xander stood, collected his trash, and dumped it as he left the cafeteria. He had a good two hour drive -- not including the time spent sitting in traffic -- ahead of him. The sooner he left, the sooner he'd be back in Sunnydale.

Cordelia had been right; Xander was in love with Spike. It was the pizza, beer, and chocolate which had done him in.

Relationship: Boyfriend

Love happens, even for neurotics like Spike
Post The Replacement

"Spike?" Xander called as he entered the crypt where Spike made his home. "Spike, are you here?"

A few candles barely cut through the darkness of the crypt. It was close to midnight, much later than Xander had anticipated seeking out the blond vampire, but he'd had things he needed to accomplish before the stores closed.

On the way home from the art museum, Xander had decided that if he really wanted Spike, there was going to be no halfway. Spike would be invited into his life completely, even with the threat of possible death if the blond ever got the chip removed. Love meant acceptance and, in this instance, it meant accepting the fact that Spike was, first and foremost, a vampire. He might be more in touch with his feelings than other vampires, but he was still an unrepentant killer.

However, Spike was currently chipped and, Xander hoped, in love with him. Xander wasn't going to worry about tomorrow; tomorrow would take care of itself. It was today that was important, it was the now he had to live in, and he had a feeling the present would be much, much sweeter if Spike was sharing his life.

"Spike?" Xander ventured further into the crypt. It was possible that Spike was out doing whatever it was he did on a Thursday night at midnight. But Buffy had said that Spike had been scarce the last few weeks, so Xander prayed that meant the vampire was home.

"Go away."

And there Spike was, slumped in a chair and staring at a blank television screen. His voice was emotionless, cold. The candles cast shadows in the hollows of his cheeks and under his eyes, making his handsomely chiseled face appear gaunt. At least, Xander hoped the candles were the reason and that it was not because Spike hadn't been feeding properly.

Xander leaned against the stone coffin, his hands gripping the edge in nervousness. He looked everywhere but at the vampire. This was it, he thought. Last chance to bail. If he didn't say anything, he could pretend Spike meant nothing to him but a good lay. Everything in his life would stay the same, if he left right now.

Xander straightened and looked directly at Spike. "I'm sorry," he began. Spike snorted, still staring at the blank television. Xander set his jaw. He knew apologizing to the stubborn male wouldn't magically make things better, but it was a start.

"I'm sorry," the brunette repeated. "I'm sorry that I basically treated you like a whore. I'm sorry that I hurt your feelings," another snort, which he ignored, "and I'm sorry that you had to wait so long to get an apology from me that you definitely deserve."

He pulled out a set of keys from his coat pocket and moved to set them on top of the television set. "Two more things, then I'll get out of your hair," Xander went on. He cleared away the knot that had suddenly formed in his throat. "First, I miss you," he said somewhat gruffly, "and secondly... I love you."

Xander stuck his hands in his pockets and, not waiting for Spike to respond, started for the door. "That's all I have to say," he told the blond. "I hope I'll see you at home."

The crypt door closed with a click. To Xander, it sounded like hitting an empty chamber in a game of Russian Roulette. How fitting, he thought as he headed out of the cemetery for the car. He was gambling with his life by admitting to Spike his love, only he didn't know if the bullet represented Spike returning his love... or not.


Spike hated whiners. He despised those who begged -- including himself when he did it -- and couldn't tolerate excuses. You either did something or you didn't; why wasn't important, only the outcome.

The first week, he'd expected Xander to come crawling to him, loaded down with excuses for how he'd acted and begging for forgiveness. The second week, Spike had been ready for Xander to whine about how busy he was with his job or with the ex-demon bitch, and that was the reason why it'd taken him so long to come beg for forgiveness. Spike had his well-thought out slams prepared to cut the boy to the quick, and a plan to press the whelp into sexual servitude.

By the third week, Spike realized he'd been nothing but a whore to Xander, except he hadn't gotten paid for services rendered.

Was it fate's cosmic joke that he always fell in love with those who only wanted him for sex? Was he forever cursed to be the substitute, instead of the truly wanted? Angelus, Drusilla, and now Xander. Three brunette beauties who had loved someone else but settled for him when those loves were unavailable.

Spike was planning on leaving Sunnydale. He didn't know where he was going yet, but it would be somewhere far away, where he could lick his wounds and maybe find a way to get the chip out of his head. As soon as Rupert returned from his trip, Spike was going to nick the Watcher's keys and new motor -- contrary to popular belief, the vampire had no clue how to hotwire an automobile -- and say goodbye to the Hellmouth forever.

That was the plan, anyway, until Xander showed up at the crypt. The moment Spike heard the boy's voice, his plan to leave flew out the window. Instead, he geared himself up to listen to some groveling, had the slams on the tip of his tongue, ready to use, and pictured the brunette on his knees, a position he'd be in far into the foreseeable future.

Except, Xander hadn't groveled, or begged, or whined, or made excuses for what he'd done. No, he simply walked in, apologized without excuses, professed love, and left again.

Spike didn't know what to do. He'd prepared for an apology -- Xander was part of the goody-goody gang -- and to go back to being the boy's fucktoy -- Spike was used to being treated like that -- but he hadn't expected Xander to say, "I love you." Spike hadn't expected anyone to ever say "I love you" to him. The closest he'd ever gotten was Harm's "I love my Blondie Bear," which meant the same as her saying, "I love Antonio Banderas." Drusilla had never said she loved him, those words and that emotion were reserved for her Daddy. She had great affection for Spike, but she hadn't loved him. And Angelus. Ha!

But Xander had said the words. Xander Harris, the puppyish man-child Spike was arse-over-tit for, had said he was in love with him, Spike. Him.

Or was he?, Spike thought. What if it was simply guilt? What if Xander was treating the vampire like he would a girl, smoothing over fights with words of love so that he could get laid? He had commented on several occasions that Spike was the best shag he'd ever had, a little fact that ever-so-nicely stoked Spike's ego. But what if that's all it was, an excellent lay, and Xander was just saying those words because he felt guilty over what'd happened? Or worse, what if it was pity? "Poor Spike, he's all alone because no one wants to be associated with a fixed vampire. I guess since I, Xander, am part of the Get-Along Gang, it's my duty to play with the invalid."

Spike clenched his jaw in self-disgust. Xander didn't really love him. No one could really love a pathetic, impotent tosser like him. Xander was a right bastard for getting his hopes up.

The vampire shot off the chair, grabbed the keys and his duster, and stormed out of the crypt. He and Xander were going to have a few words.


Spike rubbed his eyes and looked at the door again. It was still there, neatly stuck to the buzzer beneath the peekhole. "Xander Harris and Spike," etched into a small brass plate.

The vampire rubbed his finger over the lettering. It was real, one of those plates from that Things Remembered store. And it had his name on it.

Shaking off the disquiet he felt, Spike used the keys Xander gave him to open the door. "Xander," he called, entering the apartment. "I want to talk to you, whelp."

There was no answer. Shutting the door behind him, Spike ventured further into the lighted apartment and came to an abrupt halt. Things were different in the place since the last time he'd been there. Heavy black-out drapes hung partially closed over the large, curved window. There was an ashtray on the kitchen counter, one on the dining table, and a third on the end table beside the couch.

A framed picture sat on the end table next to the ashtray, and Spike walked over and picked it up. He blinked several times in shock. It was him and the boy, standing almost nose-to-nose at the Magic Shop, yelling at each other. In the photograph, they looked as though they were either about to strangle one another or fall into a mad, passionate kiss.

He remembered when Dawn had taken the picture with her new camera, and how the flash had startled them out of whatever they'd been fighting about. Something to do with the Slayer, Riley, her mother, and the end of the world. The usual stuff. He hadn't realized that Dawn had gotten the pictures developed, or that Xander had claimed the photo.

Spike set the picture down, turned, and quickly made his way into the bedroom. "Xander?" he called, a strange knot forming in the pit of his stomach. No human in the bedroom, but there was a neatly made double bed that hadn't been there a month ago, twin night-stands -- one cluttered, one clear except for a lamp and an ashtray -- and a chest of drawers.

Swallowing nervously, the vampire crossed to the closet, opened the door, and pulled the light string. He saw exactly one half of the closet taken up by Xander's things, the other half empty -- as if waiting for someone to fill itt.

In the bathroom, there were two towels side-by-side on the rack. An unopened black toothbrush sat in the holder beside a used blue one. The type of hairgel he used was in the medicine cabinet.

There was Weetabix in the kitchen cabinet, blood in the refrigerator, and a carton of his brand of smokes on the counter.

On the dining table, there was a half-filled out form to take on a roommate. Next to Spike's name and under the word "Relationship" was written, "Boyfriend."

"Geyagh," Spike squeaked, grabbing the back of a dining chair as the world suddenly tilted.


"Aaah!" Spike jumped and spun towards the door. Xander stood in the small foyer area, removing his coat. "Don't bloody scare me like that!"

"Sorry," Xander apologized, hanging up his coat. He stuck his hands in his pants pockets and walked further into the apartment, coming to a nervous halt near the kitchen. He licked his lips, cleared his throat, and said, "I'm glad you're home."

"I don't live here."

"You do, if you want to," Xander said.

"And why would I want to?" Spike asked bluntly.

Xander looked right at him, meeting his gaze squarely. "Because I love you, and I was hoping that you still loved me."

Spike couldn't breathe. At that moment, he didn't remember that he didn't use his lungs anymore. He blinked owlishly at the boy, the same way he did seemingly like eons ago after Xander had kissed him for the first time.

A small smile played upon Xander's lips. He crossed to Spike and stopped directly in front of the vampire. "I'm going to kiss you," the brunette said softly. "Once I do, I'm not going to let you leave. So, if you don't want to be my boyfriend, with everything that includes, stop me."

Xander silently counted to ten, his fingernails cutting into his palms in his pockets, wondering if Spike would say something. When the blond didn't, a huge smile blossomed across Xander's face. "I love you," he said, and pressed his lips to Spike's.

Holy bloody crap!, Spike thought. He was being kissed by Xander... who loved him!

Shock froze the vampire in place as Xander's tongue slipped past his lips and brushed against his palate. Memories of that first kiss slammed into him, along with what had followed, causing his cock to swell beneath his jeans. With a moan, Spike wrapped his arms around Xander's waist and pulled him close.

Xander slid his hand in the back of Spike's hair and angled his mouth over the blond's, deepening the kiss. Oh gods, Xander thought, the scent of the vampire tickling his senses and sending bolts of arousal straight to his groin. It'd been so long since he'd held this man in his arms. Too long.

"Xander," Spike whispered against the brunette's lips. "Love you."

Xander inhaled a shaky breath at the words, then tightened his hold on Spike's hair and proceeded to kiss him senseless. His mouth moved against the other man's, possessive and branding. Why did he ever hurt this creature?

Spike lost his duster, and was working on pulling Xander's shirt from his trousers. Xander toed off his shoes, his free hand tugging at the vampire's belt buckle. When he couldn't get it undone, the brunette growled in frustration and broke the kiss. "Naked, now," he demanded, and yanked his shirt off.

Spike's eyes flashed golden and his nostrils flared at the dictate. Quickly, he stripped out of his clothing, the tee-shirt and jeans joining Xander's on the floor. His cock jumped at the sight of the other man's nude body. Bloody hell, how he wanted to feel the boy against him, surrounding him, loving him.

Xander held out his hand, and with a lift of an eyebrow, Spike took it. But instead of going to the bedroom, the brunette lead Spike over to the curving window. He was surprised when he saw one of the dining chairs behind the couch near the window, and even more so when he saw the tube of lubricant on the seat. "Having a bit of a perv, Xander?"

"Not yet," Xander slyly answered. He pulled Spike in front of him, slid his hands around the vampire's waist and covered the other man's privates. Resting his chin on Spike's shoulder, Xander smiled at the ridiculous picture they made in the window's reflection. "I look like a dork."

"You do look rather silly in that position, pet," Spike conceded. "Now, mind telling me what we're doing in front of your window, when there's all sorts of people in that park out there?"

"We're in front of the window because there's all sorts of people in the park," Xander replied.

Spike paused a moment before saying, "I left my Xander-English dictionary at home, luv. Would you mind repeating that in a way that makes sense?"

"Okay, see those people?" Xander began. "They're having their annual Adult Scout Troop Leader Overnight. Buffy and the others are also there, keeping the mosquitos away. I'm supposed to be out there, too."

"Instead, you're up here with your very own mosquito," Spike said dryly.

"Yes, shut up, lemme finish so we can have sex," Xander said. Spike chuckled, and the brunette kissed his shoulder. "Now, mosquito boy, I am in love with you, and I'm not going to hide that fact. I want everyone to know that you and I are together. If someone calls, they'll get an answering machine recording with both of our names. If I go out with my co-workers and they're bringing their wives and girlfriends, I'll be bringing you. If I want to kiss you in public, I'll... probably not do it until we find something to hide behind."

Xander turned Spike to face him and looked seriously into luminous blue eyes. "I want you to be my boyfriend, Spike. My long-term, monogamous, live-in lover and friend, who'll listen to me whine about work and paying bills; who'll put up with my stinky feet and not run away on bean dip night; who'll stand by me while my parents treat me like trash; who'll undoubtably turn me, or simply kill me, once his chip stops working; but, until then, who'll take care of me when I'm sick and stay with me as I grow older.

"I know there are no guarantees, Spike," Xander continued. "This is a new relationship, and we may end up hating each other by the end of the month." He gave the vampire a half smile. "But I'm willing to chance it, if you are."

Xander moved to the chair, picked up the lubricant and held it out to the blond. "So, what do you say? Feel like showing the whole world that you and me are now a 'we'?"

Spike slowly raised his hand and took the tube from Xander. The boy gave him a lopsided grin, knelt backwards on the chair, and wiggled his bare butt. The vampire cleared his throat. "I heard somewhere that the Scouts were anti-gay."

"Then we'll show 'em how wrong they are," Xander said. He wiggled again. "Fuck me."

Spike looked at that ass, looked out the window at the retreat group below, grabbed Xander around the waist and hauled him down to the floor. "Neyah!" the brunette exclaimed in surprise.

Spike maneuvered Xander onto his back and moved over him, their bodies pressed flesh to flesh. Xander looked questioningly at Spike and was about to speak when the vampire shook his head. "You said your pretty speech," he said. "Now, it's my turn. I love you, I want to be with you, and if you hurt me again, I'll kill you."

With that, Spike sealed his mouth over Xander's, kissing him with a hot, hungry passion. Xander moaned and brought his hands up, sliding them around the lean man's body and running them along his back. Xander arched against the vampire, rotating his hips as Spike continued to kiss him breathless.

Panting needlessly, Spike pulled away from Xander and knelt up between the brunette's legs. He fumbled with the tube he'd dropped, and squeezed an over-excessive amount onto his jutting shaft. Xander's fingers closed around the vampire's hard length, and Spike groaned as the boy smoothed the slick substance over him. "Xanderrr..."

Spike stopped Xander's ministrations, positioned the younger man's legs on his shoulders, and rubbed a slicked finger against the boy's opening. Xander watched him with heavy-lidded, desire-filled eyes, his breathing quick and his face flushed. "Ready?" Spike asked.

"And waiting," Xander replied, reaching for the vampire. He cursed softly as Spike slid into him, his face twisting in pleasure. "Missed you there," he said in a breathy pant.

"Missed you, period," Spike rasped. He started to move, and both men groaned low and long at the sensations coursing through them.

Spike captured Xander's lips, his tongue slipping past them to sensually dance with the boy's tongue. Xander's fingers skimmed along Spike's cheeks and jaw, brushed over the shell of the blond's ear and lightly scratched his neck.

The vampire felt himself being pulled too fast to the edge. Xander's body was snug around his shaft, the hot, velvety passage spasming around him with every thrust. He'd been with no one since his last encounter with Xander, and it felt so... bloody... good...

With a growl, Spike tore his mouth from Xander's as he climaxed, pushing his cock as far into the boy as he could. He filled the other man with his come, the brunette's grasping channel milking every drop from him. His face was strained, his eyes squeezed tightly shut, as the intense orgasm was wrung from this body.

Spike pulled out and collapsed onto his side next to Xander, his back against the couch. Panting needlessly, he kept his eyes closed against the jumping white dots clouding his vision. He felt Xander brush a finger from between his brows, down his nose, and over his parted lips. He nipped at the fingertip with his blunt teeth, opened his eyes, and smiled at the boy. "Nice."

Xander took Spike's hand and guided it to the weeping shaft laying heavy against the brunette's abdomen. "Not nice," Xander stated.

Chuckling, Spike grasped the pulsating length in a firm fist and began to pump. He watched as Xander's features contorted in bliss and listened as he moaned and babbled in pleasure. After a few minutes, Xander's hand closed over Spike's and together they stroked him into a fiery orgasm, his viscous emissions splattering onto their joined hands, Xander's stomach and chest.

"Phew," Xander breathed dramatically, his body going limp. "Now that was nice."

"Mm-hmm," Spike agreed, tracing patterns in the off-white fluid on Xander's chest.

Xander's stomach abruptly let out a loud rumble, causing both men to laugh. "So much for post-coital lovey-dovey stuff," the brunette said.

"Oh, I don't know, pet," Spike said. "Nothing says love more than a cold beer and blood-drenched pizza."

"What about vomit?"

"That's only if you're a Woperfel."


They looked at each other for a second, then burst out laughing again. Shaking his head, Spike was the first to get to his feet, and he held out a hand to help Xander up. Spike noticed Xander's gaze drift out the window, and he rolled his eyes. "Go shower, luv, then get dressed and meet up with your chums."

"How did you...," Xander started to say, then saw Spike's look and smiled. He dropped a kiss on the shorter man's forehead and headed towards the bathroom.

Spike waited until the bathroom door had closed before he let out an enthusiastic, "YES!" He head-banged to the air guitar he played a riff on. Then he noticed that he was acting like a loon in front of the open window and felt his face flame. It was one thing to act like a wild, devil-may-care vampire, but it was quite another to act like a hyper juvenile with his naughty bits flopping around for everyone to see.

After closing the drapes, the vampire slipped on his jeans, used the phone, then lit up a smoke. The calming vice did nothing to still the phrase revolving around his mind. Xander really was in love with him... Xander really was in love with him...

Dressed and armed, Xander returned to the living room ten minutes later to find Spike sprawled on the couch, staring into space. With a grin, he crossed to the vampire and flicked his ear. Spike started, then gave him a nasty look. "I'm heading out. It's...," Xander glanced at the clock, "...nyah, almost two in the morning. I'll be back when the sun rises to catch a few z's before I have to go to work."

Xander gave Spike an uncertain look. "You, uh, will be here when I come back, right?"

"Naked, nubile women wanting me for an orgy couldn't drag me away," Spike replied.

"Good." Xander gave him a tremulous smile, and walked to the front door. He put on his coat, put his hand on the doorknob, and looked back at Spike. "Hey, if those naked nubiles come calling, tell them to wait for me."

Spike laughed. "Will do, pet."

Xander nodded, then left to go join his friends.


"Hello, ladies," Xander greeted, joining Buffy, Willow, and Tara around a small gas stove that was acting as a fire. "How are the troopers?" He grinned at his own pun.

"Alive and still singing," Buffy told him, gesturing to the large group of men and women sitting around a real camp fire a short distance away. "We've chased away about a dozen vamps, mostly loners."

"They must not have gotten the flyer about the Scout Buffet," Xander commented.

"Where have you been, Xander? I thought you said midnight," Willow asked, passing him a cup Tara had filled with coffee. "And why do you look all glowy? Did you and Anya get back together?"

Xander laughed. "No, Anya and I are definitely over with. I've moved onto blonder pastures."

"Ooh, sounds like the Xand-man's got a new hottie," Buffy teased.

"That is affirmative, Buff," Xander said. "I am in luuuuhhvve."

"Is it someone we know?" Tara asked quietly. "Like, from the college?"

"It's Spike."

Abrupt silence. Then Buffy and Willow started to laugh. "Spike!" Buffy giggled. "Spike!"

"Xander, if you don't want to tell us, that's fine," Willow said.

Xander winked at Tara, who was giving him an understanding smile. "I'm telling you the truth, ladies. As of today, the bleached one is my new snuggle bunny."

Buffy started to laugh harder. "Oh God... Spike... bunny suit," she snorted, "Playboy bunny suit!"

A vision of Spike wearing Playboy bunny ears and a g-string with a cotton tail popped into Xander's head. His lips began to twitch as the image took out a carrot and made lewd, suggestive gestures with it. Snork. "No," snigger, "that's not what I meant."

He took a sip of hot coffee and nestled it in the grass beside him. "Seriously," he said, speaking over Buffy's titters. "Spike and I are now together, and I'd appreciate it, Buffy, if you wouldn't beat him up. If you need information, just ask him, or ask me to ask him. Got it?"

"Oh my goodness, you really are with Spike," Willow gasped.

Buffy stared at the brunette in shock. "You're not kidding, are you?"

Xander shook his head. "No jokers here. Spike's my boyfriend, so get used to it."

Buffy moved suddenly, pinning Xander against the ground with a stake poised over his heart. "Yikes!" he yelped, as she slapped her free hand over his neck. She narrowed her eyes at him briefly, then abruptly relaxed.

"Sorry, Xan," Buffy said, climbing off of him. "Just wanted to make sure you hadn't been turned."

"Uh, no," Xander said, sitting up and rubbing the center of his chest. "Still alive and crapping my pants, thank you very much."

"I- I'm happy for you, Xander," Tara said, breeching the silence that had descended. "Spike is, um...," she trailed off with a pained look.

"Homicidal? Sociopathic?" Xander supplied with a grin, setting his knocked-over coffee cup upright. "Evil? Cute?"

"Uh, the- the last one will do," Tara grinned shyly back.

"Well, I guess, if you're happy, Xander, I'm happy," Willow ventured worriedly.

"I'm uber-happy, Wills," Xander told her. "Hey, and now you two aren't the only openly bi-couple in our group."

"That's a, um, plus." Willow frowned. "You're not with Spike because you feel left out on the whole 'dating the same sex' front, are you?"

"No," Xander chuckled. "I'm with Spike because Cordy pointed out that I was in love with him. And I am. Head-over-heels, one hundred percent, ridiculously in love with the peroxide doofus."

"Xander, what you are is one hundred percent certifiably insane," Buffy stated. "Spike is... Spike. Chipped vampire, so currently harmless on the 'I'll kill you while you sleep' scale, but he's still evil. He can still hurt you."

"Just like I can hurt him, and you can hurt Riley, and Willow and Tara can hurt each other," Xander said. "No relationship is perfect, Buffy, you know that."

"Yeah, I know," Buffy sighed. "I'll pretend to be a mature adult and say it doesn't bother me. Just be careful, all right?"

"I will," Xander replied.

"Good. And remember, say the word and Spike's dust," Buffy said. A few seconds later, she screwed up her face. "Wait, does this mean I have to be nice to him?"

Xander laughed. "No, you can stay your usual bitchy self."


"You know, with the amount of noise you lot are making, a herd of Omibrakn could stampede through the park and you wouldn't hear it." Spike came out of the shadows, a sneer on his face, carrying two thin cardboard boxes and a six-pack of bottled beer.

"They might have, but when they saw your face, they fled in the opposite direction," Buffy told him.

"Funny," Spike said dryly as he handed Xander the boxes. "Just for that, you can't have any pizza."

"Pizza?" Buffy perked up. "You brought pizza?"

Xander looked half-hungrily, half-warily at the boxes on his lap. "They're not... vampire-topped pizzas, are they?"

Spike chuckled and set the beer beside the young man. "No, pet. They're cheese and sausage."

"Sorry, Tara," Willow said to her girlfriend, "but I want Spike to be my boyfriend now. He has pizza."

Tara's lips twitched she suppressed a smile. "But I brought you coffee."

"I don't know..." Willow pretended to think about it. "It's sausage pizza..."

Xander cleared his throat. "First of all, my boyfriend, so hands off. Secondly, my pizza... but I'll share if you beg nicely."

Spike looked down at Xander in surprise as Willow and Buffy began to beg the boy for a slice. When Xander had told Spike he wasn't going to keep their relationship a secret, the vampire hadn't realized Xander had actually meant it. A happy, bubbly feeling expanded in Spike's chest. Xander was really in love with him.

"Hey, Peter Cottontail," Xander said, tugging on Spike's jeans. Buffy and the Witches suddenly started laughing uproariously, and Spike had a feeling it was him they were laughing at.

"What?" he growled at Xander.

"Are you going to join us?" Xander asked seriously, although a smile hovered on his lips.

Spike snorted. "No, thanks. My idea of fun does not include sitting around a camp stove, sharing stories with Larry, Darrell, and Darrell."


The vampire shook his head. "Never mind. I'll see you later."

"'K," Xander said. As Spike started to walk away, the brunette called after him, "Pizza and cold beer to you, too."

Spike looked over his shoulder, smiled, then disappeared into the night. Xander sighed, faced the girls again, and found them watching him with undisguised 'sappy female' expressions. "Be quiet and eat your food," he said.

Grinning, Willow swallowed the bite in her mouth and asked, "So, Xander, tell us, complete with juicy detail, how did you and Spike get together?"

Xander chuckled. "Well, it all started out with a plot of revenge and me having, as Spike would say, the brass knackers to pull it off..."

The End

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