Robin the Crossover Junkie

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Part One

“This is stupid. Why are we going here? Maybe we should go back.”

“No, Xander. We’re going to do this. It’ll be fun. And it will show people that even though you broke my heart, we can still be friends,” Anya reminded the nervous brunette beside her.

“It’s not like I CHOSE it, An.”

“No, you just realized you weren’t in love with me and couldn’t marry me. That’s fine. It was five years ago. Then you realized you were gay. Now I’m very happy with Mike, and I want you to be as happy as I am.”

“And going to a male strip club will make me happy?”

“It will when you see the men stripping. Buffy is going to meet us here later, after she picks up Cordelia.”

“Okay, why did we invite Buffy and Cordelia again?”

“Because this is your coming out party, Xander. We needed girls to come and enjoy the male strippers. And Willow and Tara weren’t exactly on that list, because they prefer breasts.”

“Anya…I feel stupid.”

“Don’t be silly, Xander. We’re going to go watch men take off their clothes and gyrate. It’s really a wonderful experience.”

“If I hate it, can we leave?”

“Of course not, silly! We came all the way to L.A to see men take of their clothes and dance. We’re going to stay for at least 3 hours. Don’t worry, Xander. We’ll buy you alcohol to loosen you up a little bit. Really.”

“Will you shoot me after?”


“Wow. These are great seats. We’re going to be able to see EVERYTHING,” Cordelia gushed from her chair. The three girls and Xander were seated right at the front, directly beside the cat walk. Xander sat stiffly, not looking at the waiters, who wore only tight black slacks and black bowties to match.

“The waiters are hot. Like really hot,” Buffy said, staring unabashedly at the dark-haired waiter that was heading to their table.

“That one looks kind of like Angel,” Anya said, pointing to him.

“Does he?” Buffy said nonchalantly.

“Oh, you know fully well he does,” Cordelia said, rolling her eyes.

“Yes, well…That one is hot, too,” Buffy added.

“Doesn’t he remind you of Riley?” Anya asked.

“THAT’S what Riley looked like? Man, am I sorry I didn’t meet him,” replied Cordy, eyeing the man with scrutiny.

“Can we go home yet?” Xander finally asked, looking around the table desperately.

“Of course not, Xander. The dancers are coming on in like, ten minutes. We’ll watch for a couple of hours, then we’ll take you home, okay?” Cordy answered.

“Why don’t you wanna be here, Xan?” Buffy asked, looking at him.

“I just…I feel weird, you know?”

“Well, you shouldn’t. I mean, there are plenty of guys here to take in the show. And none of them are nearly as cute as you,” Anya told him.

Xander looked around. “I guess you’re right. About lots of guys being here, I mean, not about them not being cute.”

“Right,” Buffy smiled knowingly. “See anyone that tickles your fancy?”


“Okay. We’ll watch the strippers then.”

Suddenly, the lights dimmed, and the Angel-lookalike stepped up onto the catwalk with a microphone, earning several catcalls and whistles from the audience.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to the Purple Onion, the hottest male strip club in L.A. Tonight we have a variety of eye-candy that’s sure to send you to the moon. We have Tony the Fireman, Andy the Cop, Paul the Postman, and Tito the Elephant man. And they don’t call him that cuz he’s ugly, folks,” Cheers and whistles accompanied the laughter from the crowd. “And we have a special event tonight, folks. For one night only, straight from San Francisco, we have the one, the only, Wil. You’ve heard of him. You know who he is. Nobody looks just as good in leather or out of it like Wil. So sit back, and enjoy the ride. Remember the rules. Stay off the stage and you get to watch the show. The bouncers can and WILL kick your ass. Starting now, Hi-balls are a dollar each for the next two hours. Enjoy the show, and give a big welcome to Tony the Fireman!!!” The waiter stepped off the stage and resumed taking drink orders while the stage was lit up with red and orange lights. A siren wailed from the speakers set up on stage, and an extremely well-muscled man in a fireman’s costume came from behind the curtain. A driving beat accompanied the fading siren, and soon a tribal-type of drumming was added with a melodious piano. Tony, on stage, began to slowly undress for the crowd, dancing all the while.

Buffy, Cordelia and Anya all cheered loudly, waving dollar bills at Tony and at the waiter to order more drinks. Xander watched the stage disinterestedly.

“Do you like?” Buffy asked from beside him. She gave him a look that told him she understood what he was thinking. They’d grown closer over the last four years, and were now the very best of friends that they had been back in high school.

“Not really. I mean, yeah, he’s good looking, but…I guess he’s not my type. He’s too…beefy.”

“You don’t like beefy? Okay. That’s good. That means you won’t go after my old boyfriends,” Buffy replied with a wink.

“Angel? And RILEY? Oh, God,” Xander gasped. Then he started to laugh. “Oh, man, that’s just wrong. Deadboy? And Riley was a friend, but man…no, no way.”

“Keep it that way,” Buffy growled playfully.

Xander rolled his eyes and turned back to the stage, drinking his alcohol quickly. Maybe this wasn’t so bad. He was bonding with his friends, getting a few free drinks, and the bartender was kind of cute. Not too tall, and fairly wirey. Xander preferred men who were slightly smaller built than he was. Which Tony the Fireman was definitely not. HE was huge.

Tony had finished his dance, and was collecting the bills from the catwalk while the Angel-waiter hopped back onto the side of the stage. He introduced the next dancer, Andy the Cop. He came out in a police uniform, which he slowly began to shuck to “Roxanne” by The Police.

“How about him? He’s pretty lean,” Buffy whispered in Xander’s ear while Cordy and Anya cheered.

“He’s like, 8 feet tall. Maybe if he were shorter. And blonde. I like blonde,” Xander informed her. Buffy nodded.


A few more dancers later, Xander was loosening up and having fun, but he still didn’t appreciate most of the dancers. Cordelia had slipped her number to Tito the Elephant man with a 10-dollar bill, and they were now waiting for the infamous Wil to come on stage. The house lights faded to black, and a lone spot appeared in the center of the catwalk, and a pair of heavy black boots and smooth leather shins were revealed in the light. The driving beat of a Sex Pistols song started to waft from the stereo, and one of the booted feet started to tap. The spotlight began to widen slowly, revealing the body of the dancer slowly, inch by inch. Soft black leather hugged narrow black hips, the bottom of a black worn duster visible in the light. The light moved up some more, revealing a looped silver belt buckle, then showing tight, rock-hard abs under a too-tight black T-shirt.

Xander was drooling. He’d never seen anything as sexy as this body. The man was obviously shorter than he was, even though Xander couldn’t yet see above the top of his abdomen, and he was thin and wiry, all compact muscle and cool confidence. Xander swallowed. He couldn’t take his eyes off the dancer. Beside him, Cordy was watching with a predatory smirk, while Anya and Buffy stared in amazement.

“He’s hot,” Cordy breathed.

“Shit, yes,” Xander gasped.

Buffy glanced over at Xander and saw that his breathing had increased. The light on the stage continued to widen, revealing a perfect chest and smooth pale neck. Then it stopped. The guitar chords of the song kicked in, and in time with the rhythm, Wil uncrossed his arms to point straight out to his sides, then dropped them slightly behind them so the long black leather duster dropped to the floor. He whirled around in one quick motion, showing his smooth and muscled back to the crowd, who went wild at the sight of his tight buttocks encased tightly in the leather pants. He swayed slightly to the music, but still the crowd couldn’t see anything above his neck. Xander was frustrated. He wanted to see if this man’s face was nearly as beautiful as the rest of him. Not that he minded such a clear view of that lovely ass.

Wil wrapped his arms around himself at the waist, and in one smooth motion slipped the black T-shirt over his head, revealing his pale, creamy back. The crowd screamed. He wasn’t really dancing so much as mesmerizing the crowd. He was gorgeous. Then he turned so the audience could see his front again, and he deftly removed his belt in one move. Beside Xander, Cordy and Anya cheered, while Buffy whistled appreciatively. Xander could only watch in awe.

Wil used nimble pale fingers adorned with silver rings on his thumbs and middle fingers to unzip the fly to his pants, and then he quickly divested himself of his heavy boots. Then he grabbed hold of the waist of his leather pants and gave a mighty pull, literally tearing them apart at the seams and pulling them off. Wil stood there in only a black leather G-string, and he began to circle slowly, his hips moving sensually to the fast-paced Sex Pistols song.

If Xander had looked over to Buffy, he would have seen understanding and shock dawning on her face. He might have seen that she recognized this pale, compact body dancing not ten feet away from her. But Xander’s eyes were riveted on the gorgeous figure. And the spotlight was slowly widening again, revealing a tight-lipped pink mouth, a sharp jawline, and high, pronounced cheekbones. Xander was starting to get a sense of familiarity. He’d seen this man before, maybe? Then the dancer turned again, showing off his pale buttocks while the lights came on full, bathing the pale body in white strobe lights, the music building to a crescendo. Xander, Anya, Cordy and Buffy could see that the dancer had bleached-blonde hair, slicked back with gel. Then Wil turned again, and Xander was met face to face with cool blue eyes, but the dancer mustn’t have been able to see for the strobes and bright lights in his eyes, because no flash of recognition crossed his face at the sight of Xander. Then Wil’s eyes flicked back to the screaming crowd as he slowly backed toward the curtain, removing his gorgeous body from view.

“I…” Xander said intelligently.

“Sp…Spike?” Anya said.

Part Two

“Spike,” Cordy said again.

“I thought his body looked familiar,” Buffy muttered.

“And what would you know about his body?” Cordelia asked.

“Well, remember when Buffy had that nervous breakdown when she came back from the dead? She slept with Spike,” Anya informed the dark haired beauty-queen.

“You slept with Spike?” Cordy cried, whirling on Buffy.

“Temporary insanity! It was only one night!!”

“Did you ever tell Angel?” Cordy replied.

“No, and neither can you!” Buffy begged.

The girls argued some more, but Xander continued to stare at the curtain that Wil – Spike – had disappeared behind. He couldn’t believe it. Spike. Spike was here, in L. A., dancing at a strip club. Spike had left a year after Buffy had come back from the dead, and none of the Scooby Gang had heard from him since. Except Dawn. She got the odd post card from him, but she never let anyone see the address or read what he’d written her. Not that they’d been clamoring to do so. Xander couldn’t believe how hot Spike was naked. Of all the men for him to be utterly attracted to…

An evil smile spread across Cordy’s lips. “We should see if we can get in the back and talk to him.”

“Are you nuts?” Buffy asked. “Why would we want to see Spike?”

“Well, I know I’d like to hear about how he became an infamous stripper,” Anya piped up. “And he is incredibly sexy.”

Xander continued to stare at the curtain.

“Xan?” Buffy asked tentatively.

“Gah!” Xander cried, startled. “No I don’t!”

The girls stared at him for a moment. “”No you don’t what?” Cordy said suspiciously.

“N-nothing. Nothing. Let’s go.”

“You thought he was hot!” Buffy cried gleefully, glad to be out of the spotlight.

“What?! Pfft. No,” Xander said, too casually.

“Yes he does. Xander’s turned on. I know what that looks like. Xander must think Spike is incredibly hot,” Anya replied. Xander blushed.

“That settles it. We’re going backstage,” Cordy said. Xander blanched.


“Oh, don’t worry. We won’t tell him we think he’s really hot. We just want to tease him a little, maybe get a message to bring home for Dawn,” Anya answered.

“I’m in Hell. Somebody killed me and sent me to Hell,” Xander muttered under his breath as Buffy and Anya grabbed his hands and followed Cordelia back toward the employee entrance.

“We’d like to see Wil,” Cordelia told the bouncer confidently. He raised his eyebrows at her.

“Nobody gets to see Wil after the show,” he told her. “None of the dancers get visitors without authorization.”

“What if I told you that we knew Wil back when he was Spike and living in Sunnydale?” Cordelia told him.

“Doesn’t mean anything to me, Miss,” he replied shortly.

“Just go tell him we’re here, and we want to talk to him about Dawn,” Buffy said, stepping forward. Xander looked intently at the floor. The bouncer motioned to another bouncer down the hall, and whispered something in his ear. The second bouncer nodded and went down the hall. He came back a few moments later and opened the door wide enough for the foursome to enter, then showed them to a simple black door. He knocked once, and Spike called out “Yeah.” The bouncer swung the door open, and the foursome stepped inside, shutting the door behind them. Spike was rooting around in a closet, wearing a black terry cloth robe, his back turned to the door.

“So what’s this I hear about you wanting to talk to me about the Little Bit?” he said before turning around. He stopped suddenly. “Oh, bloody hell.”

The five people stared at one another for a few moments before Spike growled in frustration. “Can’t I get AWAY from you people?” he said angrily.

“Hi Spike,” Buffy said sweetly.

“What the hell do you want, Slayer?”

“We thought we’d bring Xander here to a strip club,” Cordelia started. Xander wanted to sink into the floor.

“He’s gay now,” Anya piped up, making Xander want to sink even more.

“And we saw your….show. Gotta say Spike, you’re good at your job,” Buffy teased.

“So the whelp here fancies blokes, and you decided to come back here and give us a howdy? Have a spot of tea and crumpets? Think not, luvs. Bugger off.”

“Oh, come on. Don’t you have time for old friends?” Cordelia said, smiling winningly.

“Friends? Friends?!” Spike said, laughing a little. “Are you insane? Let’s see. The last time I saw you, Princess, you were trying to kill me for torturing your boss for the Ring of Amarra. Last time I saw the Sunnyhell crew I was givin’ them the one-fingered salute on my way the hell out of town. What the hell do you people want?”

“We just want to know how you came to be a stripper, and if Dawn knows about it?”

“Yeah, Dawn knows. She didn’t tell you? Thought she would, really, just to see your faces. Not that I woulda minded seeing your faces when you realized it was me, mind you,” he replied with a grin. “I got into this because I need dosh. Gotta buy blood, folks. Don’t bloody well let anyone ever tell you that American craftsmanship has flaws. Bastard chip hasn’t given me a lick of trouble in seven years. Are we done now? Will you leave?”

“Come on. Please? We want to stay and hear about your stripping adventures. And I can tell you some stories about Angel so the next time you see him you can bug him. It’ll be fun,” Cordelia grinned. Spike gave her a sideways look.

“Give us a half an hour, okay?” Anya answered. Buffy put a comforting arm on Xander’s back, sensing his distress. Spike looked incredibly hot, and Xander couldn’t help but be turned on by the sight of him, snarky vampire or no.

Spike stared at them for a moment. “Then you’ll leave?”

“Without another word.”

“I bloody hope,” Spike said, then sat down heavily. “I'd offer you some drinks, but I don’t like you much.”

“That’s fine. We’ve consumed quite a bit of alcohol already tonight,” Anya answered.

“Even Buffy? Last I checked, Slayer, you couldn’t hold it.”

“I had enough,” Buffy told him.

“So tell me about Dawn, then. How’s she doing? Any life-or-death situations since last week?”

“Actually, no. Sunnydale’s been incredibly quiet. That’s why we could take the night off and come up to L.A.” Buffy replied.

“And you left Red and Glinda to hold down the fort?”

“They can handle it.”

“I’ll bet,” smirked Spike.

And so the conversation went, for forty-five minutes. Xander didn’t say much, but he spent a lot of time looking at Spike, studying his body, and his face, and his eyes. The group had an actual pleasant conversation. Within fifteen minutes, Spike offered them all a drink, and they accepted. They talked for another half an hour, and then Anya yawned and blinked.

“You all look a bit knackered,” Spike told them. “Should call a cab, go back to where ever you’re staying, sleep off the booze and all that.”

“You’re probably right,” Xander said, looking at the sleepy girls. He was tired, too, but not as tired as they were. “Got a phone we can use?” Spike gestured to the wall phone, and Cordy got up to call Angel to come pick them up and take them back to the hotel.

When Angel arrived to pick them up, The girls said their goodbyes to Spike, telling him not to be such a stranger, and to maybe drop them a line as well, and not just Dawn. Spike nodded, and clasped Xander’s hand in a handshake before closing the door behind them. They walked out to the car, and rode back to the hotel in silence, still a little dumbfounded at the amount of fun they’d had talking to Spike. It wasn’t until Xander was in his room, about to undress for bed that he unclenched his fist and looked at the small note folded into his palm.

Call me, pet. Anytime. 387-555-2651

Xander gulped.

Part Three

“He did WHAT?” Cordelia cried out.

“Shh!” Xander admonished, looking around nervously. “I told you. He gave me his number.”

“Spike gave you his number? To call him? Like, to call him and go on a date?”

“I don’t know. Just to call him, I guess.”

“Well?” Cordy said after a moment.

“Well what?”

“Are you going to? Call him?”

Xander sighed. “I don’t know.”

“What do you mean, you don’t know. He’s hot. You just about lost it last night when we were watching him dance.”

“I did NOT almost…”

“You so did, Xander,” Buffy said, entering the room. Xander jumped.

“Please, why doesn’t everyone commune in my room,” Xander said sarcastically, trying in vain to change the subject.

“Just admit that you thought he was hot, Xander,” Cordy told him. And he’s not an asshole like he used to be. We actually had a civil conversation, and he promised to call us all and tell us how it was going.”

“I know I’m going to have a few words with Dawnie for not telling us he was a stripper,” Buffy said.

“Why would she think you cared? You slept with him, remember?” Cordy said tactlessly.

“I thought we agreed not to mention that in the hotel!” Buffy hissed.

“Right. Sorry,” Cordy replied sheepishly. The three held their breath, but apparently Angel hadn’t been in even vampiric hearing range, because he didn’t barge in and demand to know what happened. They breathed a collective sigh, and then continued their conversation.

“You should call him,” Buffy told Xander.

“But why? I mean, it’s Spike!”

“It’s new and improved Spike. It’s nice, polite, friendly, super-hot and wants to get in your pants Spike,” Cordy added.

“I hate you both,” Xander muttered.

“Because we’re right,” Buffy said.

With that, the two girls left the room, smiling, and Cordy called back behind her shoulder as she closed the door, “Call him,” before she and Buffy giggled and started to make their way downstairs. Xander made his way to the bathroom to shower before getting ready to go home.

Xander had just stepped out from under the hot spray when he heard the phone ring. He paid it no mind, since this was Angel’s hotel, and he started to get dressed and brush his hair. Halfway through his shaving, a frantic fist pounded on the bathroom door.

“Xander?!” cried Cordelia.

Xander jerked open the door quickly to see Cordelia’s panicked face. “What? What’s wrong?”

“It’s Dawn.”


Xander drove faster than normal. Buffy was near hysterics as they made their way quickly back to Sunnydale with Anya. After promising Cordy they’d call when they knew more about Dawn’s condition, they’d left the hotel and started speeding down the highway toward home.

Willow had called in a panicked voice, crying and upset. Dawn had been in a car accident with a few friends. A regular, non-Hellmouthy accident, but she had been seriously injured. She was about to go into surgery, and Buffy, Xander and Anya wanted to get to the hospital in Sunnydale as soon as possible.

When they finally did arrive, and were greeted by a sobbing Willow and an apologetic Tara, Xander remembered Spike. He walked over to a phone and dialed the number he’d been given, and Spike answered sleepily on the third ring.

“Oi,” he muttered into the phone. “It’s bloody early. Who’s this, then?”

“It’s Xander, Spike.”

“Xander. Nice of you to call, pet. What can I do for you?” Spike’s voice grew silky, and Xander was slightly taken aback.

Xander shook his head once, and cleared his throat. “It’s Dawn.”

“What? What’s wrong, Xander?” Spike was fully alert, and sounded worried now.

“She was in a car accident. We’re at Sunnydale Memorial. It was pretty serious. Can you get here?”

“I can.” Spike disconnected, and Xander hung up his end before returning to the girls.

“She’s in surgery now,” Tara was saying. “We got the call this morning, fairly early. We came down here, and then we called you.”

“What happened, though?” Buffy asked.

“She went out with some of her friends last night. I guess they’d gone driving, um, four-by-fouring out in the woods. They rolled the jeep that they were driving. Um, somebody found them this morning, and called 9-1-1. I guess the jeep had been rolled for a few hours. We-we slept in, so we didn’t know she hadn’t come home. We’re so sorry, Buffy,” Tara said, her voice cracking with emotion.

“It’s not your fault. She’s 20 years old. She makes her own decisions. I just hope she’s okay. What about her friends?” Buffy replied, taking a deep breath to hold in her tears.

“Mostly okay. Dawnie was the most serious. She…she went flying out of the jeep, landed on her back. I guess she hit her head. But the doctors said she has a good chance,” Willow said, finally calmer.

“So, what? We just wait?” Xander asked.

“That what they said,” Tara answered him. The group sat down on the chairs in the waiting room.

“Have I mentioned lately that I hate hospitals?” Buffy said quietly after a moment. Xander put an arm around her.

“Not lately. Want anything? Coffee? Snack?” Xander offered.

“A…a glass of water would be good,” Buffy replied, looking up at him, her eyes shining with unshed tears. He gave her another squeeze before standing and moving to get a glass of water for her.

They waited for three hours. Spike came after two and a half. He must have sped pretty hard from L.A. So had Xander, though. Spike parked in the back of the hospital, in the shade, and came in through a back door, so that he could get inside without catching fire. He sat with them in the waiting room, not speaking, just pacing back and forth across the small room. Xander was getting dizzy watching him.

“Will you just sit?” Xander told the vampire after twenty minutes. Spike looked at him for a moment, then wordlessly plopped into the chair next to him. He glanced at Buffy, once, who was staring hard at the floor, her tears dried now. They continued to wait.

Finally, a doctor came out, blood on his green gown. He smiled tiredly at the small group, and they all stood to hear the news.

“Dawn’s okay,” he said quickly. The group sighed collectively. “There was major head trauma, but nothing was damaged so much that we couldn’t repair it. She may have trouble with motor functions for the first while, but I’m sure she’ll make a full recovery. Her leg’s fractured in two places, and her arm is sprained, but she will heal.”

Buffy sat down heavily. Her sister was okay. Relief washed over the group.

“I’ll go call Cordelia,” Anya said, moving toward the phone.

“Can we see her?” Buffy asked.

“She’s still asleep from the surgery, but she should wake up in an hour or so. You can see her then, all right?” the doctor replied with a smile. “For now, why don’t you folks go get something to eat?”

Xander nodded and the doctor turned away. Buffy stood, a small smile crossing her face.

“She’s okay,” Willow breathed. “Thank the Goddess.” They made their way to the cafeteria, and sat down to soup and sandwiches. Then they headed up to Dawn’s room.

“Dawnie?” Buffy said gently, poking her head in the door. She stepped inside gingerly, looking at her sister’s pale form on the bed.

“Buffy?” Dawn said weakly from the bed, her voice deep and gravelly. Buffy hugged her gently, so as not to jar her aching bones. The rest of the group stepped into the room, with Spike bringing up the rear.

“Spike?” Dawn said in surprise. “How did you find out…?”

Spike smirked, easing the frown lines that had been etched into his smooth face all day. “Funny story, actually, Bit. Your sister and her pals caught my show last night.”

Dawn smirked and chuckled softly. “I’ll probably laugh later,” she told him. “When I’m not all hopped up on morphine, that is.” Spike smirked at her.

“Show?” Tara asked.

“Don’t ask,” Xander begged. “Please, just don’t ask.” Willow studied him for a moment before turning back to Dawn.

“How are you?” Buffy asked her sister quietly.

“You mean besides the fact that they gave me morphine?” Dawn grinned. “I think I’m okay. My leg and my arm hurt. And my head feels really big. But everyone’s here, so I’m okay.”

“We’re glad, Dawn,” Xander said softly.

Dawn narrowed her eyes and stared at Xander before an evil grin crossed her bruised face. “So, Xander. How’d you like the show?”

Buffy, Anya, and Spike laughed when Xander blushed beet red. Willow and Tara suddenly remembered what show it was that their friends had gone to see, and after looking back and forth between Spike and Xander for a few seconds, joined in the laughter.

“I really am in Hell,” Xander sighed.

Part Four

“Are you sure you can get the time off, Spike?” Dawn asked as he sat down next to her on the bed. She’d been moved to home when the doctors decided her head would be fine, and Spike had offered to stay and keep her company for a couple of weeks.

“Yeah, Bit. I’ve got plenty of dosh stored away. Besides, who else is going to stay with you? Big Sis is at work all day, and the witches, too. With the ex-demon at the Magic Shop still, and Xander working, there’s no one else to make sure you get all your vitamins and what not.”

“Speaking of Xander…” Dawn grinned. “I hear he was pretty impressed with your show.”

“Was he?” Spike asked disinterestedly, flipping through Dawn’s CD rack.

“Apparently. I talked to Cordelia on the phone? I guess he was drooling. She said the top of his head nearly flew off when you took off your shirt.”

“That so?” again, all too disinterested. Spike raised one eyebrow, though.

“And I guess he wants to spank you till your ass turns pink,” Dawn continued.

“He wants to WHAT?!” Spike cried, looking at her in shock.

“Well, okay, maybe she didn’t say that, but I had to get some kind of a rise out of you!” Dawn said, giggling.

“Bloody hell, Dawn.”

“Oh come on. Admit it. You think he’s cute.”

“He’s like a puppy,” Spike said with distaste.

“A puppy you’d like to shag?” Dawn replied, staring Spike straight in the eye. He stared her down for a moment, then finally relented.

“Possibly,” he grumbled. Dawn laughed.


Spike had been staying for a week. When the sun went down, he and Buffy would do some patrolling together, while either Anya, Willow and Tara, or Xander would stay with Dawn. On the weekend, with the construction crew shut down for the day, Xander came to spend Saturday and Sunday with Dawn while Buffy, Anya, Willow and Tara went shopping in L.A. with Cordy. Xander stepped up to the Summers door with a bag of videos and a larger bag of snacks. Buffy opened the door, still fluffing her newly shortened hair.

“Hi Xan,” she said, turning away from the door. Xander stepped in and closed the door behind him. “Spike’s just getting Dawn from her room, he’s gonna put her on the couch.”

“Okay,” Xander said, putting the videos beside the television, then moving to the kitchen to set up the snacks. As he was putting the chips and dip in bowls, and pulling out a giant slab of chocolate, Buffy, Willow, and Tara were running around the house trying to get ready.

“Will?” called Tara, pulling on one sock. “Have you seen my necklace? The one you gave me for Hanukah?”

“It’s in the bathroom, in the drawer,” Willow called back. Tara went to the bathroom and came out fastening the little silver chain with a large amethyst stone encased in the pendant.

“Where’s my blue purse?” yelled Buffy from her bedroom.

“It’s in the front closet,” Dawn called from her room.

“Don’t yell in my ear, Bit,” Spike said from the same place. “Vampire hearing and all, yeah?”

“Sorry,” she said. Xander listened to the exchanges going around in the house with a contented smile on his face. This was the way things should be. Anya would be arriving to pick up the women soon, and then Xander would be spending the weekend with Dawn and Spike.

He wasn’t really sure about how he felt about that. Dawn was fun to hang with, and she made him feel younger. Not that 26 was old, but it was nice to feel 20 again. And Spike…well, Xander would be lying if he said that he didn’t like the guy. And that he didn’t want to hang out with him more. And that he didn’t think Spike was gorgeous. Spike was all blue eyes and blonde hair, tight, compact muscle, hard but soft, smaller than Xander and with that little smirk on his face all the time. Instead of the tight black jeans and T-shirts Xander was so used to seeing him in, Spike had been walking around for the past week wearing blue jeans and soft knit sweaters. He hadn’t gelled his hair, and it stuck out and curled adorably.

The doorbell rang, jerking Xander out of his reverie. He moved to pull it open. Anya stood there, smiling.

“Hi Xander. Are the girls ready yet?”

“Hey, An. No, they aren’t. Soon, though. Come inside, have a snack with me,” Xander told her.

“Okay, Xander. You’re still gay, right? You’re not trying to romance me away from Mark?”

“I’m still gay, An.”

“Okay. Just checking.”

“We’ll be down in a second, Anya,” Buffy called from upstairs. Tara came down the stairs with a proud smile. Willow followed her, looking slightly mussed and more than a little sheepish.

Anya and Xander exchanged a knowing look. Xander had thought the witches were a little too quiet upstairs.

Dawn giggled again. Spike was trying to lift her up without hurting her, and he kept making adjustments to make sure she was comfortable.

“I told you, Spike, I’m fine. Let’s just get downstairs. Xander said he was going to bring a surprise.”

“Yeah, yeah, Niblet. Tell me again why I let you talk me into spending the weekend with you and Xander?”

“Because you can’t say no to me.”

“Bloody right.”

“And because you think he’s hot.”

“Ri - hey! That was tricky, luv,” he told her, glaring at her.

“It’s true, though, isn’t it?”

“What say I leave you here and take Xander to go drink beer and play manly pool instead of hanging around you lot watching sappy videos?” Spike threatened.

“Oh, please. Don’t start the bad-boy act with me again. Look at you. You’re, like, a normal guy. Okay, normal vampire guy, but still normal. You’re not even Spike anymore.”

“Am so,” the vampire replied indignantly.

“No, you aren’t even,” Dawn laughed. “We just call you Spike out of habit. You’re Wil now.”

“That’s my stage name, luv. I wear leather, then.”

“You just go by Wil because too many people know the name Spike. It should be the other way around.”

“Can we not have this conversation? Big Sis is about to leave. Let’s go say ta, then, shall we?”

“Fine. But we’re so talking about this later.”

“IF you say so, Bit.”

“Darn right.” Spike finally picked Dawn up and trudged down the steps easily with her light form in his arms. He set her down easily on the sofa, and put a pillow behind her back to lean against. Finally, Buffy rushed down the stairs, and pulled her jacket from the closet. She slipped it on.

“Okay, guys, we’ll be back just after dark tomorrow. Don’t let Dawn do anything I wouldn’t let her do.”

“Bye, girls. Have a good time,” Xander called from the kitchen.

“Bye,” the girls called as they left.

“Those women suck the energy right out of me,” Spike said, leaning back beside Dawn. Xander stepped into the living room with the snacks and set them on the coffee table. Then he sat down on Spike’s other side, leaning against the arm rest.

“So what did you bring me for a surprise, Xander?” Dawn said excitedly. Xander pulled his bag into his lap and pulled out a gift-wrapped box. Dawn tore into it happily, and squealed in delight when she found the CD inside. “How did you know I wanted Melanie Doane?” She asked him, smiling.

“Lucky guess?” Xander tried. Dawn just stared at him. “What? It’s not like you’re secretive about what you want. I saw you circle it in that Columbia House catalogue.”

“You’re so good to me,” she said, reaching across Spike to squeeze Xander’s hand. Spike just rolled his eyes, and leaned back on the couch.

“Let’s pop a movie in, okay?” Xander said, standing up. He popped one in, then sat back down, not quite as far away from Spike as before, and the three settled in to watch.

Halfway through, Spike went into the kitchen and came back with a mug of heated blood. Then he promptly reached into the bowl of chips and dunked one in the blood.

“Oh. Wow. That’s really disgusting,” Dawn said, looking on in horror.

Spike just grinned and bit into the blood-sodden chip.

“Oh, ew,” Xander said, making a face.

Spike just chewed the chip. His grin fell, and his nose scrunched up in the cutest way Xander’d ever seen.

“Right. That is pretty gross,” Spike admitted, swallowing forcefully. Xander and Dawn broke into laughter while Spike took a large drink of the blood to take out the sour cream and onion flavor of the potato chip.

All Xander could think about was how cute Spike had looked with his nose scrunched up like that. He’d just wanted to kiss him. Except for the blood taste that was sure to be in his mouth. But other than that… Xander shook his head again and they turned back to the movie. Through the whole of it, Xander didn’t pay attention. He was too busy thinking about the hard body sitting next to him, remembering the way that body looked in a black leather G-string and nothing else. His breath had grown erratic within five minutes.

“Okay. What time is it?” Dawn asked after another movie.

“Still light,” Spike said.

“I’m bored,” Dawn replied.

“Poor thing,” Xander teased.

“Entertain me,” Dawn sighed petulantly. Spike and Xander shared a look.

“And how do you propose we do that?” Spike asked. He instantly regretted it.

“You could…do your dance for me, Spike!” Dawn said, an evil glint in her eye.

“What?” he laughed. Xander’s face blanched.

“Spike is not going to strip for you, Dawn,” he started.

“I’m twenty years old. It’s not like I haven’t seen a naked…” Dawn trailed off at the dark looks she was getting. “What? Oh, come on. Xander’s already seen your act. I never have. It’s only fair. I mean, I’m an invalid! I need entertainment.”

“Nothing on this earth is going to make me strip for you and Xander,” Spike growled. He and Dawn glared at each other for a long time, neither backing down.

Part Five

“I cannot bloody believe I’m doing this,” Spike muttered to himself. He knew what Dawn was doing. She was doing her best to set him up with Xander. She didn’t care to see him do his act. Why was he doing this again? Oh yeah. Because he couldn’t say no to the girl. Bloody hell.

“Are you insane?” Xander whispered intensely at Dawn while Spike was upstairs changing. “What on earth are you doing?”

“Oh come on, Xander. You know you wanna see him naked again,” Dawn said.

“I’ve never seen him naked,” Xander said quickly.

“Yeah. Cuz that G-string is SO modest,” Dawn replied, rolling her eyes.

“Seriously, Dawn. Nobody wants this.”

“I do.”

“No. You want to torture me.”

“If you say so.”

Xander sighed. “I hate you.”

“You’ll love me when he strips.”

Xander said nothing.

“I hate you, Niblet!” Spike called down from the second floor of the house.

“Thank you! You boys are so sweet to me. Now get your tight ass down here and show it off,” Dawn called back sweetly. Xander grumbled, mirroring the growling coming from up the stairs.

“Music please, Maestro,” Dawn said haughtily, gesturing to Xander. He glared at her before flipping the stereo on. The song “I’m Too Sexy” came on, and Xander couldn’t help but laugh at the muffled curses descending the stairs.

“Anybody hears about this, pet,” Spike yelled, not bothering to finish the empty threat.

“Yeah, yeah, you’ll drain me dry. Get a new song and dance, Spike. Better yet, skip the song and let’s see the dance!!” Dawn yelled back. Xander sat on the couch, holding his head in his hands. He was dreading this. He figured, as long as Spike didn’t look at him, he’d be fine. Then he heard the heavy boots descending the steps, and he held his breath. Spike walked into the living room, his feet moving with the beat of the music. He glared at Dawn, then turned around so his back was to them. Then he began his dance.

Spike started with the duster. He’d changed into the same outfit Xander’d seen him dancing in at the club. Which meant he was wearing leather pants. Xander unconsciously rubbed at his lower lip, making sure he wasn’t actually drooling. His hand came back dry. Hah! Score one for the Xan-man!!

Of course, Dawn saw all of this from her vantage point, though she didn’t appear to take her eyes off the sinuously moving vampire. She grinned inwardly. Her plan was so perfect. Spike and Xander would be macking in the closet by the end of the week, for sure. If Dawn was lucky, she’d get to catch them.

“Little encouragement, pets?” Spike said, suddenly, as he dropped the duster to the floor and softly wiggled his tight, leather-clad ass. Dawn let out a whoop and started clapping. Spike smirked at the wall. “Come on, now Xander. I work best with a noisy crowd,” Spike teased. He figured, if he was going to be humiliated, he wasn’t going to be the only one. Xander sighed and cheered unenthusiastically. Dawn smacked him, and he picked it up.

“Much better,” Spike purred, before whipping the tight black shirt off and revealing his smooth, pale back to his spectators. Xander’s mouth went dry, and Dawn cheered louder.

“Take it all off, baby!” she cried, laughing. Spike slowly turned to face Xander and Dawn, but to Xander’s relief, he didn’t try to make eye contact. Instead, he looked straight up at the ceiling while he deftly slid his belt out of its loops around his waist. Xander eyed his pale, rock-hard chest appreciatively, letting out a cheer when Spike somehow managed to jump out of both loose boots at once and landed bare-foot on the floor, legs spread, hands at his waistband.

Dawn let out another whoop when Spike tore open the button fly on his leather pants, and then he turned around again, hips circling slowly as he slowly pushed them down on his hips, revealing more and more skin. Then, he yanked up and the leather pants ripped down the seams and flew off into the wall, while Spike stood there in that leather G-string, exposing the pale globes of his toned buttocks to his audience of two. Dawn let out a squeal and a laugh, cheering madly. Xander laughed too, because Spike really did look funny in the middle of the well-lit living room, dancing in nothing but a leather G-string. Of course, then Xander’s mind caught up to his body, and his mouth went dry again at the site of Spike’s naked flesh, laid out as though especially for him. Then Spike turned around, and Xander was treated to a perfect view of his front, and Xander honestly thought that he could die and this is what heaven would look like. He stared, no longer aware of Dawn’s laughing and cheering beside him. All he could see was Spike’s pale chest, his tiny waist, his muscled flanks, his pert, slightly dusky nipples. Xander’s eyes traveled up the body, taking in deceptively narrow shoulders, his pale, thin throat, his high, jutting cheekbones, and finally, his icy blue eyes. The two men locked eyes for a full five seconds before they realized that Dawn had stopped cheering and was looking at them, smiling smugly. Xander broke the gaze first, looking down at his hands.

Dawn groaned inwardly. Damned shy boys. “Lovely show, Spike,” Dawn smirked as Spike swooped into a low bow.

“So very happy to be of service, Madame,” he drawled. While rising from his bow, he picked up the duster and slipped it on, holding it tightly around him to hide his nakedness. Then he left the room and trudged up the stairs. As soon as he was out of earshot, Dawn whirled on Xander.

“Don’t do it,” Xander pleaded. “Please, just let it go?”

“No. You want him. I know you want him. Why don’t you just…get him?”

“Dawn, you don’t get it. That’s SPIKE.”

“Yes. He’s Spike. He’s hot, he’s slightly smaller than you, and he’s got over 100 years of sexual experience. What’s NOT to get?”

“I can’t just…hit on Spike, Dawn. You just said it. He’s got a hundred years of experience. I’ve got one drunken grope in the back of the Bronze with a guy I’ll never see again.”

“So what? Do you think Spike would care about that?”

“I’m not having this conversation anymore,” Xander said, frustrated. He stood up, turned the stereo off, and went into the kitchen.

“Hey! I’m not done with you!” Dawn cried, angry that she couldn’t get up and follow him. She knew that Xander liked Spike, and she was reasonably sure Spike liked Xander, even for more than just a one-night stand. Why were they both being so stubborn?

Spike came back down the stairs, then, dressed in blue jeans and a cream-colored sweater. He took one glance into the kitchen and headed straight for the couch with Dawn.

“Listen up, little lady,” Spike said, blue eyes boring into hers. “I let you get away with this today, but no more. You don’t meddle any more, got it?”

“I just…”

“You didn’t ‘just’, Dawn. You somehow got it into your head that you were going to make a fool out of me, and out of Xander. You managed, luv. Now cut. It. Out.”

“Do you like him?” she asked. Spike walked into the kitchen, refusing to answer her.

“Sorry about that, Xander,” Spike said. “But when Bit gets an idea in her head, you have to go along with it to get her to stop pushing. She got it into her head that she wanted to see me dance, so I showed her. Sorry you had to see it again.”

“Well, you are pretty good at it,” Xander said, hiding his blush by poking his head into the fridge.

Spike looked surprised for a moment, then smiled to himself. “Thanks very much, luv.”

Xander left the room, then, and went outside into the yard. Here, in the sun, he knew Spike couldn’t follow him, and Dawn couldn’t have Spike carry her out here to talk some more. Right now, he just needed to be alone, and think.

What Xander couldn’t figure out was his inexplicable attraction to Spike. Okay, so maybe it wasn’t so inexplicable. Spike was gorgeous, and seemed genuinely friendly after his five-year hiatus from Sunnydale. But Xander had the feeling that he didn’t want to mess this up. He didn’t want to be embarrassed, or rejected, or left. Not again. He was tired of being that. And he knew that in the end, Spike would make sure all three events happened.

“Can I talk to you?” Dawn said sheepishly, looking up at the blonde vampire who had brought her a glass of water and a mug of blood for himself. He stared at her for a moment, then sat down.

“What’s up, Dawn?” he asked.

“I’m sorry, okay? I just…I think you and Xander would be a really great couple. I do. And I really thinks he likes you. I know he wants you. He’s…he’s shy.”

“You can’t go messing around with people’s heads, luv,” Spike admonished her. “People get hurt that way.”

“I know. I’m really sorry. I just…wanted to hurry the process. I wanted to see you guys making out in a closet somewhere by the end of the week.”

Spike rolled his eyes as Dawn gave him a small smile.

“But seriously, Spike. Do you like him?”

Spike sat for a moment, looking at his mug of blood. Finally, he raised his head and looked up at Dawn. “I don’t want to,” he said simply. Dawn knew all she needed to.

Xander took a deep breath. He put his hands in his pockets, and was surprised to find a crumpled slip of paper in his jeans. He pulled it out and opened it. It was the note Spike had given him that night in L.A. at the Purple Onion. Xander stared at it for a moment, then made his decision. He was going to be hurt in the end, no doubt. But he wasn’t going to give up the little bit of happiness he had a chance at.

Xander turned on his heel and walked into the house. He made his way to the living room, and saw Dawn and Spike talking quietly. He cleared his throat gently, and the two of them looked up. Xander swallowed thickly. Spike’s eyes were impossibly blue.

“Can I talk to you in the kitchen for a second, Spike?” Xander said quietly, mentally congratulating himself for not stuttering or stumbling over the words.

“Uh…yeah. Sure,” Spike said, a little taken aback. He’d expected Xander to avoid him for the rest of the week, at least. He stood up, sending an intrigued look at Dawn, who looked on, angry that she couldn’t follow and spy on them. Spike followed Xander into the kitchen. Xander turned and faced the vampire for a full five seconds, not moving. Spike was about to say something to break the tension, find out what Xander wanted, anything to stop himself from drowning in those impossibly deep brown eyes, but Xander leaned forward suddenly and pressed warm, wet lips to his, sliding over his mouth gently, easily, unsure. Spike was shocked into motionlessness. Xander’s mouth stopped moving, and he inhaled slowly through his nose, smelling Spike’s clean scent, before finally pulling back. He kept his eyes on Spike’s slightly slack mouth, refusing to look into his eyes.

Xander knew it. Spike had changed his mind since L.A. He didn’t want Xander. Xander had just completely humiliated himself for nothing. Well, not nothing. Spike’s mouth had felt pretty amazing under his.

“Sorry. I just…sorry,” Xander stuttered, turning to go. Spike’s hand shot out with lightning speed, his hand clasping Xander’s at the elbow, and turned the taller brunette back toward him.

“Caught me off-guard there, pet,” Spike said quietly. “What say we try it again. This time, we’ll do it right.”

Part Six

Xander stared into Spike’s pale blue eyes, searching for any mocking or laughter in them as the vampire slowly leaned forward, a pink tongue slipping out to wet his lips. Xander found nothing malicious in those eyes, and his own dark ones darted between Spike’s cool mouth, open slightly, and those gorgeous, bewitching eyes. Spike paused just before their lips met, glancing at Xander’s own mouth, open and panting in anticipation, before locking his gaze with the taller man and pressing his lips to Xander’s.

This kiss was more active. Spike’s mouth suckled at his lips, his cool pink tongue teasing them, playing with them, licking them, but not yet demanding entry. Spike’s hands wound themselves around Xander’s back, pulling the brunette against his hard body. Xander’s hands eventually caught up with his brain, and he pressed one hand to the side of Spike’s face, fingers slightly embedded in the fine blonde hairs on the back of the vampire’s head. His other hand held tight to Spike’s bicep, his fingers clutching as though for dear life as he drowned hopelessly in the kiss.

Spike’s mind was racing. He’d never felt anything like kissing this young human. The lips were warm, soft, and gentle. Xander was nervous, Spike could tell, but he was genuinely enjoying the kiss. The fire that generated on Spike’s skin anywhere he touched Xander sent tingles through his entire body. Spike slid his hands up under the back of Xander’s shirt, trying to touch every available inch of that hot, smooth skin.

Xander was breathing brokenly through his nose. At least he had enough sense to do that. He didn’t want to break this kiss. Then Spike’s cool hands started roaming over the bare skin of his back, and Xander pressed as close as he could to Spike’s lean body, needing the contact. When the top of his thigh encountered a large bulge in the front of Spike’s jeans, Xander let out a tiny whimper and clutched at Spike’s bicep even tighter. Spike let out a groan at the pressure, his fingers digging into the taut skin of Xander’s hot back. He didn’t even have his tongue in the human’s mouth, yet! Yet.

Spike’s tongue grew more insistent. Xander didn’t hesitate before he allowed it entry and let his own tongue dance with it. Xander whimpered again as Spike pressed him back against the wall, his hands roaming around to the front of the mortal’s torso, skimming along the hard pectorals and abdominal muscles.

Spike broke the kiss first. Only, he didn’t really break it. He removed his mouth from Xander’s, only to trail cool, wet, open-mouthed kisses along the dark-haired man’s jaw, to his smooth column of neck. Spike began sucking on the smooth skin of Xander’s throat, and Xander threw his head back in abandon. He’d never felt anything like Spike sucking his neck. Somewhere in the back of Xander’s mind, the little man with the wailing sirens and flashing lights that screamed “vampire” was taking a cigarette break, because Xander had no doubts about this act being perfect. Xander let out a moan, which Spike immediately silenced by darting his tongue back into Xander’s mouth and continuing the kiss. But it was too late. She’d heard the whimpers, and the moan, and the heavy panting from both men.

“Hey!” Dawn cried from the living room. “Dammit! I wanna see! If you guys are going to make out in my house, at least let me watch!” she whined. Spike and Xander froze, pulling apart slowly. Coherent thought was a few more seconds away, but they stared into each other’s eyes for a moment. “Did you hear me?” Dawn cried out, ending the moment. Spike smiled a little, still looking a little dazed. Xander stared dumbly at him.

“Wow,” Xander finally muttered.

“Bloody hell,” Spike agreed.

“Yeah,” Xander said quietly, looking into Spike’s eyes again.

“We should give Dawn a present or something,” Spike said after another moment and a gentle nip at Xander’s swollen lips.

“Yeah. Flowers. Or candy. Or a card,” Xander breathed, leaning in for another chaste kiss.

“Maybe something bigger,” Spike said, gentle kisses punctuating each word.

Xander sighed, finally catching his breath. He leaned forward and kissed Spike again, then pulled back. “Maybe we should buy her an island.”

“Yeah,” Spike said, kissing Xander again.

“Guys!!” Dawn whined from the living room, frustrated beyond belief.

Spike let out a broken, breathless laugh, and Xander sighed.

“Think we should go back in there?” Spike asked Xander, kissing him once more.

“Yeah. She’ll tell Buffy we were horrible nurses and Buffy will beat us up.” Xander touched his lips to Spike’s again.

“Right.” Spike leaned in and kissed Xander fully on the mouth one final time, his tongue slipping between Xander’s well-kissed lips and dancing with his for a moment before finally pulling back and taking Xander’s warm hand in his, entwining their fingers. Then he took a few steps back, pulling Xander away from the wall, and the two men walked into the living room hand-in-hand. Dawn greeted them with a huge, self-satisfied smile.

“I’m amazing,” she sighed proudly.


“Triple word score!!” Dawn said proudly, quickly adding her points to the list. “That means I win!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Spike and Xander sighed, uncomfortable.

“So?” She prompted.

Spike rolled his eyes and pulled off his socks, one at a time. Then he pulled his undershirt over his head, leaving him in faded blue jeans. Xander drank in the sight for a moment before removing his own socks, his T-shirt, and glaring at Dawn, who was currently wearing sweat pants and a sports bra.

“Why are we playing Strip Scrabble again?” Xander said. “This is a drunken college party game. And it’s not even right! It’s supposed to be poker.”

“I’m no good at poker,” Dawn reminded them with a yawn.

“You’re exhausted, luv. You were up at the crack of bloody dawn,” Spike told the dark-haired girl. Dawn sent him a withering glare at the badly placed pun.

“We’re going to finish this game,” she insisted. The weekend was almost over. Buffy, Willow, Tara, and Anya would be arriving in a couple of hours, and then Xander would go home, and she didn’t know what would happen with Spike. The night before, Xander and Dawn had stayed at the house, Xander sleeping on the couch, while Spike had gone out to patrol a little. He’d come back and curled up on the couch with Xander just before the sun rose, and Dawn had called for a glass of water. Spike had groaned and nudged Xander awake, who’d unknowingly snuggled back into the vampire’s cool form, rubbing the hard bulge in Spike’s jeans right into the groove of his warm buttocks. Spike hadn’t wanted to move, but Dawn had called again, and Spike nudged Xander again. As the young man returned to consciousness, he felt the bulge pressed up against his ass and stood up quickly, doing his best not to develop his own bulge. Then he’d gone up, without a word to the vampire, and gotten Dawn her water.

Xander had been awake for the rest of the day. He’d done a few things around the house, like fix the leaky faucet in the bathroom, and fix a few squeaking hinges, but he hadn’t gone back to sleep with the vampire. He’d been too nervous about the feelings he was developing for him. It was all moving entirely too fast. Yet, at the same time, it wasn’t moving fast enough.

“Why? I mean, I’m gay. Spike and I are…we’re…”

“A couple?” Dawn tried.

“We’re something. Something that doesn’t get turned on by twenty-year old girls…who we think of as a sister,” Spike added.

“So?” Dawn prompted.

“So, why are we playing a game to get naked?”

“Because,” Dawn grinned. “I like seeing you guys squirm.”

Xander and Spike shot her a glare. Dawn said nothing, but kept her proud smile plastered to her face.

“You suck,” Xander told her.

“Xander and I should leave. Go to another room,” Spike suggested.

“That so?” Dawn asked, raising an eyebrow and placing down the letters k-e-r to spell out “wanker” on the Scrabble board. Spike smirked, and cast a sideways glance at Xander.

“I agree,” Xander said, suddenly standing. Spike stood up with him.

“What about me?” Dawn asked innocently. “What will I do while you guys are getting it on in the other room?”

Wordlessly, Xander picked up a magazine and tossed it into her lap. She giggled as the two men quickly left the room and headed to the kitchen, where Xander found himself pressed up against the wall, his tonsils being leisurely explored by Spike’s tongue, while cool hands roamed over his back.

Xander ran his hands over Spike’s cool chest, finally getting to touch every inch of Spike’s torso. His hands, of their own accord, dug into the waistband of Spike’s jeans, and his fingers gently kneaded the vampire’s taut buttocks. Spike pressed his hips forward, showing Xander just how much he liked that. Xander smiled into Spike’s mouth, and sighed as Spike moved to kiss his neck again.

“God, Xan. I love your neck,” Spike said between cool kisses. He trailed his mouth to Xander’s collar bone.

“Spike,” Xander sighed, his mind spinning helplessly. Suddenly Spike’s cool mouth was around Xander’s nipple, his tongue flicking it easily to attention, and Xander hissed. Spike grazed his teeth over the pert nipple gently, and Xander’s hands scrambled for purchase on the vampire’s hard back. Spike’s mouth moved back to Xander’s, and Xander insistently pushed his tongue into the cool mouth, needing to taste the other man.

Spike moaned happily, grinding his hips against Xander’s, and Xander whimpered, feeling the bulge in his jeans harden with a mind of its own.

“Whoa,” said a voice from the doorway. Spike and Xander jumped back from each other, staring guiltily at the form staring in at them.

“Um. Hi, Buffy,” Xander finally said after a moment, his voice cracking.

“Oh no,” she said, backing up a few steps, a sly grin on her face. “Don’t stop on account of me. I’ll just be going into the living room, now, with Willow and Tara, and we’re going to talk to Dawn and see how this started. You guys just keep on kissing.”

She stepped back into the living room, and the men could hear Dawn giggling from inside. They looked at each other for a moment, seriously debating whether or not they should join the girls in the living room. After one more kiss, much less passionate, but no less intoxicating than the others, they finally accepted their fate and headed into the living room.

Tara eyed them appraisingly, then held her hand out to Willow. Willow sighed in defeat, and pulled a five-dollar bill out of her purse and handed it to her lover.

Xander stared at them in confusion. “What are you doing?” he asked them.

“We had a bet. I won,” Tara said proudly.

“Yeah, only cuz you read Tarot cards,” Willow grumbled.

“I just had faith in Dawnie,” Tara said, grinning smugly. Willow pouted.

“You had a bet?” Spike asked.

“Yeah. Tara bet Willow that Dawn would have you two half-naked and groping each other by the time we got back. Willow figured it’d take you at least another week,” Buffy supplied. Spike and Xander stared at the group of girls in shock as they burst into giggles.

“You are all evil,” Xander said, blushing furiously. A mischievous smile suddenly spread across Spike’s face.

“Well, pet. They want a show. What say we give ‘em one?” Spike said, raising an eyebrow at Xander. Xander stared at him for a moment, and the second their eyes locked, the two embraced in yet another passion-filled kiss. The girls began to cheer. When they realized the kiss would be going on for quite some time yet, and that Xander and Spike no longer realized they were in the room, Buffy picked up a grinning Dawn, and the four women headed upstairs to their bedrooms.

Part Seven

Xander sighed and sat down on his sofa, taking a sip of his cold beer. Spike had stayed at the Summers home, and Xander had gone home alone after a long, drawn-out goodbye kiss. He was half-glad that he was alone right now, happy to be able to think without Spike nearby to distract them.

He wanted a relationship with Spike. He didn’t know how or why, but he knew that was what he wanted. He just didn’t know what Spike wanted. Somehow, he couldn’t picture the vampire in a nice, normal relationship. Not that Xander had ever had a normal relationship in his life. Cordy, Anya…neither was normal. But he’d had fun with them at the time, anyway. He’d been in love with both of them, he knew, but the love had faded. Changed, into something less passionate, less consuming. Less than Spike.

Where had that thought come from? He barely knew Spike. Xander used to think, back before Spike had left Sunnydale, that he knew the vampire. He’d known he was a soulless, bloodsucking demon who was hell-bent on ruining their lives. He’d known that Spike was eerily obsessed with the Slayer, had tortured them endlessly, but had shown extraordinary loyalty to help them when they truly needed him. Xander thought back to the incident that had finally prompted Spike’s desertion.

“You fucked her. You broke her. Happy now?” Xander had spit at the vampire as Buffy sat, rocking back and forth on the floor. Xander and Anya had entered the Summers living room, and heard the argument taking place between the Slayer and the vampire. They’d slept together, and Buffy never wanted to see him again. Then she’d broken down crying, and Xander had stepped in.

“I didn’t bloody break her,” Spike had shot back, glaring. “She was already broken.”

“You took advantage of her, Spike. You used her, like you use everyone. You say you love her. If you really loved her, you wouldn’t have done this. You wouldn’t have hurt her like this, just because you can’t hurt her with your fangs.”

Anya had watched on in silence.

“Oh, but that’s the beauty of it, Harris,” Spike had replied, laughing hollowly. “Is I CAN hurt her. I can hit her, and kick her, and rip her bloody throat out without a peep from the bloody silicon in my head.” Xander was speechless for a moment, looking at Buffy for confirmation. Buffy was in no state to give it, as she cried quietly, burying her face in her hands.

“H…how?” Anya said, shocked out of her silence.

Spike had smirked at her, and Xander took a protective step forward. “First, I thought maybe she’d come back wrong. That she was a little less than human after Red’s latest supernatural debacle, or that somehow you bloody idiots fucked up your little spell. But that wasn’t it. I know what it is now. Buffy. Doesn’t. Want. To. Live. She wants to be hurt, and bleeding, and dead. And that’s why the chip didn’t mind if I hurt her. Because she already hurts too much when you all try to pretend everything’s hunky-dorey.”

“That’s bullshit, Spike. You know it is,” Xander had said, though he wasn’t quite sure that it was himself. Spike said nothing, daring Xander to try something.

Xander had stepped forward. “You leave town now. You don’t come back. Not ever. You leave, you go find a life somewhere, I don’t care. But if you ever come near Buffy again, I’ll stake you. You can’t hurt her anymore.” Spike had stared at Xander, neither backing down, for long moments before Spike had finally turned on one heavy boot and stalked out the door, leather duster flapping in the wind as he walked briskly, angrily down the street. That was the last Xander saw of him.

Until L.A. At the Purple Onion. After Spike left, Buffy had spiraled through her depression, eventually coming to terms with herself and her life. She’d grown closer to her friends again, and Willow had given up magic completely. Now she did the occasional spell with Tara, but only to help Buffy with her slaying. It had taken a lot, but when Amy had died, she’d finally seen what she’d been doing. Buffy saw what Willow went through, and realized that if Willow could claw her way back to the land of the living, so could the tiny slayer. So Buffy had turned to Angel for help. The two had grown closer and closer.

They weren’t a couple, of course, because both were too stubborn to just give in and admit that they wanted to be together. But Angel had helped Buffy see that everything on earth wasn’t hard and cold and violent, and Buffy had become Buffy again. Somewhere in the back of Xander’s mind, he knew that if Buffy hadn’t sunken so far as to sleep with Spike in the first place, she might not have healed.

Then, through the years, Xander realized he didn’t blame Spike at all. He still couldn’t justify what had happened, but Spike had been right. Buffy had fallen so far into her despair that she was sure to die, anyway. Sleeping with Spike had been a final cry for help, for life, for feeling. And now…now, Buffy was happy. They were all happy. Even Xander, who’d been alone for the last year, with no one, was happy. Because now he kind of had Spike.

A knock at the door interrupted Xander’s thoughts. He stood up and went to the door, curious as to who would be knocking at ten ‘o clock at night on a Sunday, but not worried. He opened the door, and a grin spread across his face when he saw Spike standing there.

Wordlessly, Spike stared into Xander’s dark eyes, but didn’t ask to be invited into Xander’s home.

“Spike. Come in,” Xander said hastily, after he realized that Spike couldn’t enter without the invitation. Spike sent him a wry smile and stepped into the dimly lit hall. He looked around the room, taking in the smooth, adult décor.

“Nice place,” Spike commented. Xander smiled in thanks.

“Thanks. Want anything? I don’t have any blood, or anything, but I do have beer, and water.”

“Not thirsty,” Spike said, staring at Xander’s mouth. Xander started to breath a little heavier, and his heart started to beat a little faster.

“Oh,” Xander breathed. Then Spike’s mouth was on his, and he was silenced. Spike’s cool lips slid over his, that cool tongue sneaking into his accepting mouth and dueling with his own. Xander let out a little whimper, not feeling at all manly in that moment. Then Spike pressed his body forward and ground his hips into Xander’s.

Xander felt the pressure of Spike’s insistent hard-on straining against his own, and he gasped, breaking his mouth away from the kiss. Spike licked at his jaw, moving lower, to lick at his neck. Xander looked up at the ceiling.

“Xan,” Spike sighed, suckling against Xander’s pulse point. Xander wrapped a hand around the blonde’s head, pressing him closer into the curve of his throat. Spike let out a rumbling purr, his arms sliding around Xander’s waist, holding the human closer to him.

“I don’t get it,” Spike said between kisses to Xander’s neck. Xander had to really concentrate on the words. Spike’s mouth was doing wonderful things to his skin.

“What?” Xander replied breathlessly, a tiny moan sliding out of his open mouth when Spike nibbled on his earlobe.

“Why do I want you so much?” Spike asked, not stopping his ministrations. “I mean, you’re just human. You’re a gorgeous specimen of human, but you’re human. You’re not…why can’t I control myself?” Spike’s mouth attacked Xander’s again, and Xander’s reply was lost in a muffle as their tongues met and danced again.

“What’s that?” Spike asked, lifting Xander’s shirt over his head and licking at his hard chest.

“I said…ah…whatever it is, it must be contagious,” Xander hissed, clutching at Spike’s shoulders. Spike chuckled as he scraped his blunt teeth against Xander’s nipple. Xander moaned in response.

“Wanna ask you something, pet,” Spike muttered against his chest, his tongue snaking out again to draw a lazy pattern against the heaving flesh.

“Ask away,” Xander panted, lifting at the hem of Spike’s shirt. Spike stepped back enough to let Xander rid him of the offending article of clothing before pressing their hard torsos together and nipping gently at Xander’s lips.

“Here’s the thing,” Spike murmured, tasting at Xander’s lips. “I want you. A lot. More than I’ve wanted anybody, ev…in a long time.” Spike’s blue eyes flickered, but he continued on. “And I’d like to have you. I know you want me.” Spike emphasized this last by pressing his hips into Xander’s hard member, and Xander let out a strangled breath. “What I want to know is, are you ready to be had, or do I have to play the noble gentleman and tempt you into my arms? Or are you gonna save me the trouble?”

Xander just stared at him for a moment. Spike was asking him if he wanted to have sex. It was obvious. But what was Xander going to tell him?

“Now?” he finally squeaked. “Tonight?” The last word came out a little stronger.

“I was thinking along those lines,” Spike said, smirking against Xander’s lips. They stared into each other’s eyes. Spike sighed. “I’m not gonna hurt you.”

“I didn’t think so,” Xander protested, grabbing more tightly to Spike’s arms, afraid the vampire was going to step away and break the contact.


“I know you won’t hurt me. And not just because you can’t.” They shared another intense look before Xander tentatively pressed his mouth against Spike’s again, sipping at his lips gently. Spike moved his lips against Xander’s, but let the human have all the control. Then Xander started to push him backwards.

Spike was ready to walk away. Xander was pushing him back. He didn’t want this. But…they were still kissing. It took Spike a moment to realize that Xander wasn’t pushing him away…he was guiding him. When Spike felt the couch against the back of his legs, he sat down and pulled Xander on top of him. Soon, Xander was lying on top of Spike, their mouths pressed together passionately, lust fueling roaming hands and dueling tongues.

Xander began to pull at the buttons of Spike’s fly, and Spike’s hands grabbed his wrists.

“Xan?” he asked, breathing heavily, even though it wasn’t necessary. Xander looked deep into Spike’s eyes. “I need to know. Are you sure you want this? Because there’s going to be a point where I’m not going to be able to stop. I’m already nearly there as it is. Are you sure?”

Xander didn’t say a word. He bent his head to Spike’s neck, never taking his eyes off the vampire’s blue orbs. Then he pressed his hot mouth against Spike’s neck and gently took the flesh in between his teeth. His tongue teased the pinched skin, and then he pressed his teeth down harder, eliciting a moan and a thrust upwards from the cool body underneath him.

“Answer your question, Spike?” Xander said, licking at the purple love bite. His hands went back to the vampire’s jeans, undoing the fly and releasing his straining erection.

“Jesus, Xan,” Spike finally breathed, capturing the human’s mouth with his. They kissed while Spike tried to wriggle further out of his jeans. Then his hands deftly undid Xander’s pants, and pushed them down, along with the plain white jockey shorts. When the two men were skin on skin, they stared into each other’s eyes before diving back into the kiss. Their hips thrust against each other, the delicious friction driving them both mad. Spike reached between them and grabbed hold of both of their cocks, pumping his hand up and down them together, and Xander cried out at the pleasure. His eyes were shut tightly in ecstasy, but he opened them and lifted his head from the curve of Spike’s neck, looking straight into the vampire’s bright blue eyes. The second their eyes met, both men let out a simultaneous cry, jerking their hips and coming with more force than Xander had previously thought possible.

They lay there panting, trying to sink back into reality. Spike leaned his lips up to Xander’s, nibbling at his breathless lips. Xander returned the kisses as he came back to himself, and higher brain functions started to come back to his mind.

“Spike?” he finally croaked against his new lover’s lips.

“Yeah, Xan?” Spike replied quietly.

“That was…” he trailed off.

“Yeah, luv. It was,” Spike agreed. They kissed again, gently.

Part Eight

“I think we should shower, luv. We’re gonna stick together,” Spike murmured against Xander’s lips.

“What’s wrong with that?” Xander asked, snuggling tighter into his vampire’s embrace.

“It’ll hurt like hell when we try to get unstuck later. And I’d like to wash your back,” Spike told him, kissing the tip of his nose.

“You want to wash my back?” Xander asked, raising an eyebrow?

“I like your back,” Spike admitted, running his hands down Xander’s spine for good measure. Xander shivered.

“Okay,” Xander agreed, smiling at the other man. Xander slowly stood up, keeping his fingers laced with Spike’s, and the two slowly made their way to the bathroom, sharing leisurely kisses along the way. Xander reached into the shower stall and made sure the temperature was comfortable for him, and stepped under the spray. Then he turned and looked expectantly at Spike.

Spike stepped into the stall and closed the curtain, kissing Xander again before turning him to face the wall. Then he picked up the bar of soap and began to liberally massage Xander’s back, his hands roaming all over the tan expanse. Xander sank into the touch, loving the firm gentleness of Spike’s hands.

“That is amazing,” Xander said, feeling tension he hadn’t even known existed slip from his muscles.

“I try,” replied Spike, and Xander could HEAR the smirk behind the words. He grinned, and was about to make a sarcastic comment, but suddenly Spike’s soapy hand slipped between the cheeks of his ass. Xander bucked back into the touch, a cry of shock and exploding arousal sliding from his mouth.

“Christ, Spike,” he said, as Spike began to knead his buttocks. “I thought you said you liked my back,” Xander muttered through clenched teeth.

“Didn’t say I didn’t also like your ass, Xan,” Spike said, not pausing for a moment. Finally, Xander whirled around and trapped Spike’s mouth in a searing kiss.

“Are we clean yet?” he said, looking into Spike’s eyes.

“Probably, pet. Why?”

“Cuz I think it’s time to get dirty again.”

“You think so, do you?” Spike said, smiling.

“Know what else I think, Spike?” Xander said, pressing his hard member against Spike’s.

“What’s that, luv?” Spike said on a groan.

“I want you to fuck me.” And in the instant those words left Xander’s mouth, everything stopped. Neither man noticed the shower spray. They stared into each other’s eyes for long moments, neither moving, neither breathing. Finally, Spike gave his head a small shake, returning to reality.

“Right, then. Let’s go,” he said quickly, turning off the shower and dragging Xander into the bedroom as quickly as possible. Xander chuckled at the vampire’s enthusiasm, but was cut off when Spike’s lusty mouth accosted his. They fell onto the bed, a tangle of groping limbs and heaving bodies.

“Got lube?” Spike asked as Xander’s mouth moved down his chest, doing unspeakably lovely things to his nipples.

“Drawer,” Xander said, the sound muffled by one of Spike’s dusky nipples. Spike held Xander to his chest with one hand, and reached over into the drawer with the other, fumbling until he came up with a small, unopened tube of strawberry lube. He tore the cap off with his teeth, then set it on the pillow for later. Xander moved his way farther down Spike’s body until he was lapping suggestively at his navel. Spike wriggled and moaned, actually whimpering when Xander’s mouth moved even lower. Xander wrapped one hot hand around the base of Spike’s cock, then tentatively leaned forward and licked at the dripping slit. Spike’s hips shot off the bed in ecstasy, a strangled moan bursting from his mouth.

“God, yes, Xan,” he moaned as Xander slowly engulfed the head of his pulsing member, intrigued at the taste. Xander’s mouth moved lower, taking in as much of the impressive length as he could. Spike’s head thrashed against the headboard as he tried to muster some control. “Pet, you’re so good, so hot. You have to stop, God, I’m gonna come right now if you don’t stop,” he panted, and Xander lifted his head, licking Spike’s penis once more before moving back up his body. He kissed Spike’s breathless mouth, then leaned back on his heels, smiling down at Spike’s debauched face.

“God,” Spike moaned. “What, do you practice that?” he asked Xadner, moving to sit up and capture Xander’s lips again.

Xander laughed. “So, Bleachboy…you gonna fuck me, or what?” Spike used his vampiric speed to flip them over so that he was laying on top of Xander.

“Hell, yeah,” he leered, kissing Xander again.

“Okay. How do you want me?” Xander asked, a cocky grin on his face. Spike smiled gently, nibbling Xander’s lips.

“Well, luv, as much as I’d like to have you facing me, I think we’d better skip the acrobatics this time. I think you’ll be more comfortable on your hands and knees.”

Xander kissed Spike once more, slipping his tongue briefly into that cool mouth before obediently rolling over and positioning himself on all fours. Spike stared at Xander, open and ready for him, and grinned. He reverently kissed both of Xander’s buttocks, causing the mortal to shiver. Then Spike reached over and picked up the lube.

Spike squeezed some onto his hand and stroked his cock, coating it liberally. Then he took one slick finger and began to press at the tiny rosebud of puckered flesh. Xander felt the contact and his heart started to pound. He really wanted this, but at the same time, he knew it was going to hurt. He forced himself to relax, and Spike’s finger slid in almost effortlessly. Both men groaned at the sensation. Then Spike’s finger pushed further in, and he stroked Xander’s prostate expertly. Xander gasped and pushed back, wanting more of the contact. Spike chuckled and added a second finger, thrusting them in and out of Xander’s tight hole.

“Please, Spike,” Xander finally cried, his cock aching. Spike removed his fingers and pressed forward.

“Relax,” Spike purred, as the head of his arousal pressed against Xander’s slick opening. He gently pushed forward, and Xander gasped at the welcome invasion. Spike pressed forward some more, slowly and gently, thrusting a few times until he was completely encased within Xander’s heat. Xander moaned, and Spike stopped, breathing heavily.

“You feel so good, pet,” he murmured, slowly starting to thrust in and out. He angled his thrusts carefully, making sure that each stroke slid into the human’s prostate. Xander moaned incomprehensibly about Spike and God and heaven, and Spike began to thrust in earnest.

Spike wasn’t sure when it happened, but as he was thrusting, he realized something. He was in love with this man. Xander’s sense of humor, his shyness, his wantonness, his beauty. He had been having fun with him, had been talking to him, through the last week, and as he was thrusting into his perfect body, he realized that his heart had been stolen. And it wasn’t the same as it had been with Dru, or Angelus, or Buffy. This was something completely different, something entirely new and all-consuming.

Spike started to thrust harder, deeper, reaching one hand around to pump Xander’s erection. He grunted with each thrust, loving the way the human thrust back at him with equal force, crying out his need, his pleasure. Spike pressed his face against Xander’s shoulder, his face morphing into his vampire visage in the heat of his passion. Xander cried out a final time before exploding, spilling his seed across his belly, the sheets, and Spike’s hand. As he came, the tight ring of muscle that Spike was pushing into contracted, and Spike roared, leaned forward, and sunk his fangs into Xander’s throbbing neck, his climax ripping through his entire body.

Xander went still, then pushed back as hard as he could, flinging the vampire off of him. Spike was torn out of Xander, his fangs and cock both, and flew off the bed, landing in a heap.

“What the hell?” he cried angrily, as Xander whirled around, grabbing at the wound in his neck.

“You bit me! You fucking asshole, you goddamned prick, you BIT me!!” he cried, eyes flaring. He threw a pillow hard at Spike, who looked shocked.

“I…” he started. Xander didn’t let him finish.

“You fucking liar! Your chip doesn’t work anymore! You came here to fucking KILL me!” Xander yelled, his face red with rage. His mind was racing. Spike had bitten him. Tried to drain his blood.

“I’m sorry, Xan, I…”

“Get the fuck out!” Xander yelled, applying pressure to the open wound in his neck.

“Xan,” Spike tried again.

“I said GET THE FUCK OUT!” Xander screamed. “Don’t come back! You asshole!” Xander whirled around and jumped off the bed, grabbing a cross from one of the drawers in the nightstand. “I’ll kill you if you EVER come back here, do you hear me, you stupid fucking VAMPIRE?!” he yelled. Spike stared dumbly for a moment, then decided it was hopeless. He stood up and left the room, dressed quickly, and left the house, slamming the door behind him.

Xander sunk to the floor, broken sobs heaving his chest. “He bit me,” he whispered weakly, hugging his knees.

Part Nine

“What were you thinking, Spike?” Dawn hissed into the phone. After Spike had gone to Xander’s, Dawn had expected him to move back to Sunnydale. The others had accepted him as a friend through the last week, and he and Xander seemed to have a really good relationship going. Dawn had been sure that the two were going to fall in love and live happily ever after. But Spike had come to Dawn’s window that night, late, and told her he was leaving. He was going back to San Francisco, and he wasn’t coming back.

“What? Why?” she’d asked him, panicking.

“The whelp kicked me out. Told me to leave, never come back. I’m leaving, Niblet. Say my goodbyes,” Spike had told her, hugging her once before crawling back out the window, and leaving. The next day, Xander had come and told him that Spike had bitten him. He must have had the chip removed, and he had tried to kill him.

“I wasn’t thinking,” Spike’s voice said over the phone. He sighed miserably. “We were shagging, and I just…I don’t know what came over me, pet. I just leaned in. Didn’t even think about it. And I bit him. I wasn’t gonna kill him.”

“I know, but…he thinks you were.”

“I don’t know how I bit him, Dawn. The chip is fine. It’s working fine.”

Dawn sat silently. “Is it like when you could hit Buffy? She was so depressed….is Xander depressed?”

“No. I don’t know what happened. Dammit, Dawn, how could I screw up so soon?” Dawn didn’t answer for a moment.

“You’re in love with him, aren’t you?” Dawn asked, far too wise for her age.

“Bloody hell. Yes. I’m in love with him. And he’s going to put a stake in my heart if he ever sees me again.”


Spike’s mouth was all over his body. Everything he was doing felt so nice. His cock was buried in Xander’s ass, and he was thrusting powerfully. Then he leaned down, and grinned, and bit into Xander’s throat. Xander screamed, coming harder than he’d ever come in his life.

And woke up. Xander looked around his bedroom blurrily, taking in the rumpled sheets, the stain on the front of his sweat pants. He was breathing heavily from his orgasm.

“I just dreamed about Spike biting me,” he said to himself. “And it made me come. What the fuck?”

Had he liked it? Was that why he’d freaked out? Spike had left town that night. Dawn didn’t talk about him, though the Scoobies all knew that she still talked to him. Xander couldn’t figure it out. If he’d had the chip removed, or dismantled, or changed, why hadn’t he killed them all? He hadn’t, though. He’d just left.

Xander leaned back on the pillows, mind troubled. Did he really mind the bite? No. It had felt really good. But wasn’t that what had scared him? That not only could Spike bite him, but that he’d ENJOYED it? That he’d liked having those teeth in his flesh, that he’d wanted to moan in pleasure when he felt his blood being taken into Spike’s mouth? That he’d really liked the feeling that not only did Spike need him, want him, but that Spike had lost control in the throes of passion and bitten him?

Xander sighed, and tried to go back to sleep.


Eight weeks later, nobody had mentioned Spike at all. Dawn was up and around, her casts removed, and slaying was in full swing. Dawn still talked to Spike, and still received post cards, but she didn’t talk about him, or how he was miserable and missing Xander. How he didn’t eat properly, how he didn’t go out, and had missed several gigs dancing because he’d “forgotten”. And she didn’t tell Spike that Xander was cranky all the time, and when he was depressed and thought no one was looking, he’d rub the juncture between his neck and his shoulder absently, or that he had lost weight and sometimes forgot to shave. Dawn knew they were both miserable, but words had been exchanged, and she didn’t think even she could fix the mess that the two men had made of their relationship.

“Be careful, Dawn,” Xander hissed at her, walking gingerly through the cemetery. Buffy was patrolling the South side, with Willow and Tara on the East, and Dawn and Xander had been chosen to walk around the North side of town, which had proven quiet lately. They were all about to meet in one of Sunnydale’s central cemeteries to finish out the patrol together.

“There’s nothing around, tonight, Xan,” she protested. “We haven’t seen a single demon.”

“Which is a good thing,” Xander reminded her.

“I know. I’m just really, really bored.”

“We’re almost done. Maybe the others have had more luck,” Xander replied, looking around distractedly. He stopped in his tracks.

“What?” Dawn asked him, turning around.

“Shh. Hear that?” Xander listened carefully. Dawn paused, also listening. They heard nothing.

“You must be going insane,” Dawn said cheerfully before letting out a blood-curdling scream.


“Bloody Hell. It’s 11:00 in the bloody morning. What the sodding hell do you want?” Spike growled into the phone, angry at being woken up before he could sleep of the hangover he was sure to develop after the previous night’s drinking.

“Spike?” came Dawn’s teary voice from the phone. Spike immediately sat up.

“Dawn? Niblet? What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” Spike asked, concern in his voice.

“You have to come back, Spike. It’s…it’s Xander. He was hurt last night in patrol,” she said before a sob broke through her chest.

“Dawn? Dawn?! What happened? Is he okay? Jesus, pet, he’s okay, isn’t he? Isn’t he?” Spike cried, flying out of his bed, pulling on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt.

“They...they don’t know. There was a group of vampires. They had…baseball bats, and stuff. He was trying to protect me. Buffy was too far away. I guess he lost a lot of blood. And he hit his head. They…they said if he doesn’t’ wake up in 24 hours, then he probably won’t,” Dawn said through her sobs. “Please come,” she said on another sob.

“I’m on my bloody way,” Spike said. He hung up the phone and went out the back of his building, headed straight through the shade into the sewer tunnels, making his way to the bus station.


“What are you doing here?” Buffy asked coldly as Spike stepped into the waiting room, eyes sunken in.

“I called him,” Dawn said quietly. Buffy whirled on her sister.

“You what? He tried to KILL Xander,” she started.

“I would never try to kill Xander,” Spike said quietly, seriously.

“You bit him, Spike. Your chip obviously stopped working before you came back. I ought to stake you now.”

“There’s nothing wrong with my chip. I don’t know how I bit him, but I know I didn’t mean to. And I certainly didn’t mean to hurt him,” Spike argued, looking at Dawn pleadingly.

“It’s true,” she said, stepping forward. “Buffy, Spike wouldn’t hurt him. He’s in love with him.”

Spike rolled his eyes. “Thanks, ever so, for the help, pet,” he grumbled.

“Because we ALL know when Spike falls in love, nothing goes wrong,” Buffy growled.

“It’s different this time, Slayer,” Spike tried. She didn’t look like she was going to change her mind. “Fine. I just…when he wakes up, I’ll leave. I just have to know that he’s going to be okay,” Spike said, a tear falling from his weathered face. Dawn stepped forward and embraced him. Willow and Tara stood.

“I think he’s right,” Tara said quietly, looking between her lover and Buffy. “I think he really…cares about Xander. Maybe we should let him stay?”

“Tara’s right. He never tried to hurt any of us. And look at him. He’s a mess,” Willow agreed. Buffy looked on grudgingly.

“Fine. You can stay. But the second Xander wakes up, you leave, or I stake you.”


They waited at the hospital for fifteen hours before Willow and Tara took Dawn home to get some rest, leaving Spike and Buffy alone in the private waiting room of the hospital. A large waste basket was filled to overflowing from the girls’ tears, but Spike had sat, staring at the wall apprehensively. He hadn’t moved, but every time a doctor walked by the door, all of his muscles tensed considerably more.

“You really do,” Buffy sighed after a moment.

“What’s that?” Spike said, his mouth barely moving.

“You love him,” she said. “Even with me, you never…this isn’t the way you were.”

“I know.”

“How did you bite him?”

“That’s something I don’t know. We were…I just leaned in and bit. Didn’t even think about it. Then he pushed me off and kicked me out. Threatened me.”

“Will you bite him again?”

“Never. Not that he’ll let me within five feet of him, anyway.”

“So why are you here?”

“Because I love him. He may not want to see me, Slayer, but I need…to know that he’s alive, and okay.”

“I hope he wakes up soon.”

“Me too, luv.” They said in silence for a few more minutes.

“Do you want to go in? See him? Be alone with him?” Buffy finally asked. Spike looked at her for a moment, surprise on his face.

“I…can I?”


The wiccas had turned the radio on softly in Xander’s room. Willow said he usually liked to wake up to music, so they’d turned the radio on to an easy listening station and turned the volume low so that if Xander woke up, WHEN he woke up, he’d be a little more comfortable. Spike didn’t turn it off.

“You messed me up, pet,” he said gently as he sat down in the hard chair beside the bed, taking Xander’s limp hand in his.

“I don’t know how you did it, but you did. Took my heart and wrapped it right around your finger.” Spike closed his eyes, picturing Xander’s smile, his warm brown eyes.

“I know you hate me. I can deal with that. Most everybody hates me, really. I just…I would never hurt you Xander. I would never want you to be hurt, and if I caused it…I’m sorry.” Spike took a deep breath, trying to stave off the tears that were threatening to fall. “Sod it all, Xan, I fell in love with you. Didn’t want to. Didn’t mean to. But I did. Everything about you. Christ, when Dawn called and said you’d been hurt, I thought I’d die right then. I don’t know how I’m going to live without you. But you have to wake up. Even if you hate me and never want to see my face again, you have to wake up. You can’t die, Xander Harris. Not like this, not yet, not now. I’ve never regretted a thing in my life. I’ve been around for more than a hundred years, and not one regret. Except one. If I could take anything back, I’d take back the bite. I wish I’d never bitten you, Xander.”

“I liked it,” came the croak of a reply from the bed. Spike’s eyes flew open, staring into Xander’s brown ones.

“Xan?” he said in disbelief. “You’re awake!”

“And I have the headache from hell. But before you call them in, I have to tell you something.” Xander took a deep, pained breath. His ribs must have been cracked in the fight. “I liked it. I think…I think I kind of wanted you to bite me, which is why you could.”

Spike stared at him, shock covering his features. “What are you talking about?”

“When...when you bit me, Spike, it felt so good. I just…I freaked. I shouldn’t have said those things. You’re a vampire, and you bit me, and you weren’t supposed to be able to, and I really liked it, and I freaked,” Xander said, then grunted in pain as he tried to sit up.

“Lie back, luv. Don’t hurt yourself,” Spike said, still dazed.

“And I heard what you said. Spike…I love you too,” Xander said. He and Spike stared at each other for a full minute before the vampire slowly leaned down and pressed his lips against Xander’s.


Author’s note: I’d just like to say, I’m not a big fan of songfics. I mean, they work well, sometimes, but I don’t really know how to write them. But the atmosphere for the epilogue kinda came to me while I was listening to this song, so I have the scene in my mind with the music playing in the background. But I’m not going to do it as a songfic. So, for the record, the song playing on the radio is “Kissing You” by Des’ree. You know the one. From the Romeo & Juliet soundtrack. Now, enjoy!

Xander stepped gingerly into his bedroom, his hand on Spike’s arm as he breathed through the discomfort of walking. His entire body was still sore, and his head spun when he moved too fast, but he’d spent a week in that hospital bed, and just wanted to be home. He breathed in shock as he saw the state of his bedroom.

White candles had been strewn around the entire room. There must have been hundreds, bathing the room in that soft yellow glow that only candlelight can provide. A soft song was playing from the radio on the desk, and Spike was looking at him with love shining in his eyes.

“I know you’re not up to any strenuous activity,” Spike began, looking deeply into Xander’s eyes. “But I just wanted to show you…how much I’m in love with you,” he said, pulling Xander into his arms. He started to sway gently to the slow song playing in the background, dancing in a slow, small circle.

Xander should have felt stupid. He was dancing with a vampire to a romantic song in his bedroom, surrounded by glowing white candles. But all he felt was happiness. He and Spike were together, in love. Spike was romancing him.

“I love you, too, Spike,” Xander whispered in the blonde’s ear, wrapping his arms around his lover.

Spike put his arms around Xander gently, and nibbled at his lips, still dancing in that same slow circle, to that same slow song, knowing that this, with his lover, was home.

The End

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