Where? When? Gah!
10 A Nummy Treat
Xander was half asleep when he felt the cool press of a body along
his back. Spike's arm wrapping itself around his waist and drawing
him near. He let out a happy little moan and snuggled closer to his
vamp, before his eyes snapped open in shock.
"What are you doing?"
Spike leaned down and nuzzled Xander's neck, his nostrils flaring when he scented his mark there. Xander writhed beneath him as he went for the scar, tracing his tongue along the puckered flesh.
"Ungh." Xander grunted. His cock was already leaking having gone so long without his lover's touch. "Wha -"
"Shhh luv." He continued to trail wet kisses along Xander's neck, and then down his spine.
"But I - "
Spike stopped, heaving a frustrated sigh. "Okay Xan. We'll talk first, but then we shag - deal?"
Xander nodded, he didn't think he had the strength to refuse Spike. Just the ghost of his lover's touch made him hard.
"You know what's going to happen tomorrow right? When we go up against the hell bitch…" Spike shook his head. "Not all of us are gonna make it."
Xander squeezed the hand resting on his stomach. "I know that Spike. This is bigger than anything we've ever faced before."
Spike placed another sweet kiss on the top of Xander's head. "Well luv, if this is my last night on earth I want to spend it with the one person who loves me." He didn't voice the thought that if this were Xander's last night on earth he'd want to at least have the memory of being with the boy even if he never recovered any of his others.
Xander thought it over for a minute. If either of them bought the big one tomorrow, he'd never forgive himself for not taking this one last night with his lover. And if Spike were himself, they wouldn't have hesitated making love all through the night knowing what would be coming all too soon. He pushed aside his hurt that Spike still couldn't remember his love for him, and agreed. "Okay Spike." He turned in his vamp's arms. "Make love to me."
Spike swore he felt his undead heart beat for just a second. With all the memories he'd begun to retrieve, none of them held such a loving look, or as sweet a request. He didn't think he'd ever made love to anyone really. He'd been a virgin when turned, and then sex with his 'family' had been violent and dominating, but never loving.
He watched as Xander's eyes drifted closed, his lips descending toward that luscious mouth. His own lids closed over his eyes at the first soft touch. He spent several minutes just letting their mouths fit together, while his hands roamed the length of Xander's chest and hips.
When Xander began to moan in protest, he finally invaded Xander's mouth with his tongue. Letting it slip past the opening to trace the wall of teeth it encountered. When Xander's teeth parted to allow Spike's tongue full access, it was his turn to groan. The slow teasing he'd been doing to Xander, was making his own cock pulse and drip with pre-cum.
He let his tongue explore the recesses of Xander's mouth. Relearning every sensitive nook he found. Thrilling at the incoherent sounds that spilled out of Xander as he dipped into one cheek, and then trailed cool wetness over gums and molars.
He broke the kiss, lifting himself off the boy, to pull his shirt over his head, and then shuck his trousers and boxers. Xander protested until he opened his eyes to a naked and aroused Spike. The sight of Spike's hard length bumping against his own stomach made Xander's mouth water. He could see the head was glistening and he longed to have a taste.
He moved forward and grasped the base of Spike's cock, making him whimper. His tongue darted out to lick just the tip. The warm rasp of Xander's tongue making Spike's cock jump in his hand. When Xander's whole mouth engulfed his throbbing member, Spike felt the pleasure as an almost stabbing pain. He couldn't stop his hips from thrusting forward, causing his cock head to bump the back of the boy's throat. He was amazed when Xander was able to take him whole without choking or gagging.
It made him even harder when he looked down to see the boy's head bobbing back and forth with his dick between his mouth. And he groaned when he noticed the boy's hand rubbing at the front of his jeans in time to his sucking. He could see the wetness seeping through the material. Moreover he could smell the strength of his arousal through the air.
At the familiar scent Spike's brain flashed back to similar incidents. He could see them together loving, fucking, and sucking each other. And as the images played before him, he threaded his hands through the soft brown locks of his boy's head. Holding him still against Xander's protests, Spike began to gently fuck his mouth.
"You like that don't you Xan?" He asked softly as he continued his thrusting. "Having me in your mouth. Getting' me off. Tasting my cum on your tongue?"
Xander moaned at the dirty word picture Spike was painting. He always loved it when his vamp talked during their loveplay. His voice was so sexy even when he wasn't talking dirty, that it heightened his desire to a new level whenever he did.
The moan sent incredible vibrations along the length of Spike's cock, making his thrusts come faster and harder. "Fuck Xan!" Whenever Spike pulled out Xander would let his tongue swirl around the tip, digging into the slit he found there.
"Yeah luv! Oh you're so good at this Xan. Mmmmm…" Spike lost coherent speech for a moment while Xander's hand came up to play with his balls. His hips were thrusting so fast he didn't know how Xander was taking it. But from the feel of it, they'd had plenty of practice.
"Xan! Gonna cum Xan. Gonna cum in your hot, tight mouth. Wanna taste me luv? Wanna swallow me down?" Spike felt his balls tightening up. He felt his cock pulse as his semen shot through onto Xander's waiting tongue. Felt his orgasm prolonged at the feel of Xander's muscles tightening around him with every swallow. "Fuck!"
When his shudders finally ceased, he pulled his softening member out of his lover's mouth. The boy looked incredibly fuckable at the moment. His lips were swollen from blowing him, and his eyes were slightly glazed. The irises dilated so fully that they were barely ringed with any brown.
Quickly he knelt down in front of him, and began stripping his clothes off. Once Xander was completely naked he began to go to work. "Your turn luv." He said quietly before dipping his head down to take in one already turgid nipple. He licked all around and then sucked in the tip before gently scraping the sensitive flesh with his teeth. While he worked on one with his talented tongue, he pinched and pulled at the other with a free hand.
Xander was long past coherent speech and lay writhing and moaning on the wrinkled blanket. He was so hard he was aching, and he could feel dreaded tears coming to his eyes. The pleasure was almost unbearable, and he wanted to cry with the intensity of it. His relief at having Spike's taste once more on his tongue was almost palpable.
When he felt one cool hand surround his dick, he thrust almost completely off the floor. "God! So long, I needed you so much Spike." He mumbled as he continued to thrust into the loose grip. "Harder please! Fuck! Tighter!"
"I know luv. Shhh." Spike hushed him, even as he tightened his grip. As he squeezed and pumped with one hand, his other came around to beg entrance at Xan's puckered hole. The tight ring of muscle contracted at the first tentative touch. Xander thrusting forward into Spike's cool palm, and then back onto the questing finger at his opening.
"Please Spike please." He begged. "Please." He was nearly crying once more. "Need you so much. Need to feel you in me. Filling me. Completing me." He bit down on his bottom lip as he felt the first finger breach his hole. "Uhng! More! More! God Spike! Can't wait. Need you now."
Spike leaned forward to kiss Xander on the lips causing the young man to open his eyes when he pulled away. "Have to wait luv. Just need to get some lube." Xander bit back a sob as the finger left his ass and Spike reached out to the coffee table for the hand lotion there. He waited impatiently as Spike slicked up his hand, spreading liberal amounts of lotion on three of his fingers.
Spike could see that Xander was desperate, he didn't want to leave the boy wanting for any longer than necessary, but he wasn't about to bugger the boy bloody either. His erection had returned with a vengeance and he was just as eager as his lover but he wanted to do this right, especially if it were going to be their last night together.
To appease the pleading man before him, Spike swooped down and took the dripping cock into his mouth. Xander cried out and bit his bottom lip bloody to keep from coming. He didn't want to cum until Spike was fully sheathed within him.
He lost himself in the sensation of Spike's cool tongue swirling up and down his penis. He could feel Spike's taste buds scraping against every vein and ridge on his cock, and his brain closed off to everything but that feeling. His brain nearly exploded into a million pieces when he once again felt the breach of his tight ass.
With two incredible sensations to focus on, his mind went into meltdown. He was thrusting as hard as he could into Spike's wet mouth, while at the same time thrusting down as fast as humanly possible onto those cool fingers. There were two now, and then three. Stretching him, preparing him, and *fuck*, making him see stars. Spike was reaching in and scraping the small nub of his prostate with one of his long black fingernails and it made Xander wild.
"Enough! Spike please! Please God!"
Spike pulled out, almost reluctantly. The cries and pleas his boy was shouting were incredibly addictive. But he knew that once he was inside the boy himself those cries would diminish to nothing at the new sounds that would issue from that swollen, lickable, fuckable mouth.
"Hush now. I'm right there luv, feel me?" He placed his cock head at the tight entrance to Xander's body. The boy whimpered and squeezed his eyes shut tight, his hand wandering down to the base of his dick to stave off his climax.
"Hard and fast luv? Or slow and sweet?" Spike tormented him.
Xander cried out as the head of his lover's cock finally pushed it's way through his tight ring of muscle. "Feel me luv? Pushing my way through? Gonna fuck you luv. Gonna make you cum so hard you'll ache for days."
He looked down to see Xander's deep expression of concentration, his gaze traveling down until he could see the purple cock he was trying so hard to tame. "Love your cock Xan. It's so beautiful. So nummy. All hard and angry and red and pulsing. Makes me hard just seeing it. Just thinking about it. Just remembering the taste of you on my tongue, in my mouth. The feel of your cum oozing out of my hole, coating my thighs after one of our nights together."
Xander's eyes blinked open. What was Spike saying? It was so hard to concentrate. The words were so hot and the feelings were so intense. But what was he saying? Did he remember? Before he could ask, Spike shifted his hips thrusting himself balls deep into Xander.
"Ahh!" Xander cried. "Fast and hard Spike! Fast and hard!"
Spike took that as his cue and began to slam into the boy beneath him. He shifted again so that Xander's legs were as spread wide as possible. One looped around his waist, the other hanging above his shoulder. Spike used his arms to spread them even wider. The tight pull of Xander's body each time he retreated was incredible. He could feel the walls contracting around him, and the warmth seeping through his cool cock.
Spike finally reached around and batted his boy's hand away. He gripped the boy's penis in his hand and began to pump fast and furious. He could see tears leaking through from under Xan's lashes and he increased the pressure on his cock. Shifting once more to angle his penis until he could feel Xander's sensitive nub with the tip of his cock.
Xander was openly sobbing now. The pleasure after all the stress of the past few days, too much for him. "Spike! Fuck! Love you! Love you!" He chanted as Spike felt his hot sticky jism coating his fist and chest.
Spike continued to pump into the shuddering body below him. Leaning down to lick up the traces of semen his lover had spent. Once the boy was clean, he leaned forward to press his lips to Xander's once more. Pulling away he whispered a quiet, "I love you," before spurting his own cool cum inside his love's tight channel.
Afterwards they lay together, sprawled across the crumpled blanket. Spike's arm wrapped securely around Xander's waist, his body spooning his boy's back.
"Did you mean it?"
"'Course luv." He leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss on the back of Xander's neck. "I'm back."
Okay, so he hadn't exhausted all of his tear reserves.
"Shhhh, luv. No more tears now." Spike wiped away the tracks with his thumb.
"Spike…" Xander was trying to get a hold of himself. "I missed you so much. I didn't know if I could take another day of you not loving me."
"Hush now Xan. I always loved you, whether I knew it or not. The feelings never went away, I just didn't know what they were." He gave Xander a squeeze with the arm wrapped around his waist.
They were silent for a few moments before Spike spoke again. "So…you got to meet William."
"Yeah!" Xander sounded a little excited now that he knew that his Spike was back. "You were great. So sweet and shy. It was a totally different side of you." Xander was grinning widely.
"A good side?" Spike asked tentatively.
"Every side is a good side Spike."
"So you didn't think William was a ponce?"
"No, 'course not." Xander answered, feeling the slight tremor in his lover's arm. "What's wrong Spike?"
"Guess I was just a bit scared luv."
"Scared of what?"
"That you might feel different. Now that you've seen…met William." Spike shrugged.
Xander turned to face his lover. "That would never happen Spike." He pulled apart slightly to take both of Spike's hands in his own, rubbing them gently. "I love you as Spike. I love you as William. I'd love you no matter who you were." He leaned in and gave Spike a long wet kiss. "As long as you were mine."
Spike shuddered and felt his arousal returning at the proprietary air surrounding Xander. Instead of giving in, he just wrapped his arms around his boy once more and laid his head on his chest. "Always luv."
That's how Buffy found them when she finally returned from her scouting mission. She'd found the crazy tower Glory was building and knew that the ritual would be taking place there. She noticed the couple lying sated and content on the floor and wanted to give them a few more hours together before they all headed to whatever fate awaited them. So she headed up the stairs to her own room, letting the two men continue to sleep in each other's arms.
11 Glorificus and the Gate
Spike's eyes blinked open. He stretched wide making sure not to
jostle his still sleeping lover. Spike let his gaze wander the path of
Xan's body, stopping briefly to stare at the half hard morning erection
he sported. Spike's smirk turned into a predatory smile as he slowly
pulled the sheet off his boyfriend in order to enjoy his stark
Xander stirred slightly mumbling in his sleep as Spike ghosted cool fingers over his chest. His nipples hardened instantly as Spike feathered them lightly with his touch. Xander's mouth parted and a small puff of breath escaped as Spike moved lower and gently took his cock in his mouth.
Spike stared up at Xander's face as he slowly pumped up and down the shaft, sucking lightly at first, and then increasing as he felt the cock harden further. He reached down to gently grasp Xander's balls and roll them together, pulling them slightly away from the warm body. He continued to massage the sac until he could feel drops of salty precum drip down his throat.
Xander woke to the feel of deliciously cool wetness surrounding him. He moaned and began to thrust up into the welcoming mouth. "Fuck Spike!" He whispered urgently as the sleep haze slowly wore off.
"Mornin' luv." Spike chuckled at the groan Xander let out when his mouth left his throbbing flesh. Quickly he dipped his head down once more to taste Xan's hot skin. Teasingly he trailed his tongue all along Xan's inner thighs, once or twice taking quick sweeping licks of his heavy sac.
Finally Xander couldn't take any more. Grabbing Spike's head he forced their eyes to meet. "Stop teasing." His statement was laced with urgent need. "Suck me." Spike felt the command down to his bones, and it made his cock jump. He shivered at the feeling of ownership Xander invoked in him.
"Tell me luv. Talk to me." Spike made the simple request before taking Xander whole once more.
"God Spike! You're so good…love your mouth…fuck! Love your tongue. Yeah…oh shit!" Xander lost words for a moment as Spike tasted the skin around the mushroom head, dipping his tongue in to dig through the slit at the top. "Ungh!"
Xander again took up the short shallow thrusts bucking his dick to push at the demon's willing throat. "Always want you. Sucking me. Swallowing me down. Can you feel me Spike? Can you feel me throbbing in your throat, dripping down and coating you with my precum? Is it salty or sweet?"
"Mmrmrmrrrmrrr." Spike purred at his lover's erotic inquisition. The vibrations caused Xander to buck sharply, and apologize quickly. Spike shaking his head slightly in rebuke for the apology.
"You love that don't you? Making me lose control. Making me so hot and hard I can't think straight. That all I can think, all I can want, is to fuck you. Thrusting in to your mouth, your ass, your body. God, stop Spike!"
Immediately Spike pulled off his cock with an audible pop. Replacing his mouth with his hand, he pumped his lover slowly. "What is it you want pet?"
"Turn over." Xander growled at him. When Spike was on his stomach splayed out in front him, Xander got down and slowly spread his ass cheeks. "Love your whole body Spike. Your tight little hole. Just waiting for me." Xander dipped his head down and began to lick at the opening.
"Ahh fuck!" Spike gave an involuntary shudder at the feeling of warm wetness, thrusting his ass up to give Xander more access.
Xander reached around and placed a pillow beneath his lover, making him more comfortable. Then he got back down to work. Slowly he stroked Spike's tiny opening with his tongue. Making it completely flat he ran it over the hole, once and while stabbing it through the opening. Every time he breached the vampire's body Spike would lurch toward him, begging for more.
"Luv - ungh! More luv. Want - fuck! Want you in me. Your tongue, your dick, your fingers, anything! Just need more!"
Xander pulled Spike's cheeks apart as far as they would go. Spike spreading his legs wider than he though possible. His dick was throbbing and leaking all over the pillow below him. The cotton friction not nearly enough to satisfy his urgent need. Xander then thrust his tongue in as far as humanly possible making Spike howl and buck thrusting his purple cock head against the pillow and silently crying with the need for something harder, firmer, and tighter. Xan thrust his tongue in and out, fucking Spike slowly and deliberately until the vampire lost complete control growling and erupting into game face.
Finally Xander pulled out, neither man having found release yet. Spike groaned in protest, wanting to sob at the loss. Xander trailed white hot kisses up Spike's spine until he could feel the warm breath tickle the hairs at the base of his neck. Spike's whole body was thrumming and he cried out once more when he felt slick fingers enter him, stretching and scissoring to prepare him.
He jumped slightly at the sound of lips smacking by his ear, having concentrated too completely on the fingers tickling his inner walls. "Mmmm. You taste so good Spike. Can never get enough." Then Xander was nibbling on his ear. Licking at the sensitive flesh just below the lobe. All the while finger fucking Spike until he swore that he could actually see spots in front of his eyes.
Once again a silent sob attacked Spike when Xander's fingers pulled out, taking with them his delicious warmth. "Are you ready for me lover?" Spike could only nod his head vigorously, biting down on his bottom lip in an effort to control himself.
Spike felt relief flood his entire body at the soft touch of Xander's cock head. His anus contracted in anticipation. Tortuously slow Xander pushed in, forcing the head past the tight ring of muscle. Xander let out a long breath at the feel of Spike tightening around him.
"Since we had hard and fast last night, I think we should enjoy a little slow and sweet." Xander whispered in his ear as he thrust in a mere millimeter by millimeter dragging the torture out. Finally he was all the way in, his balls making a soft smacking sound as they hit against Spike's cool flesh. "What do you think?"
Think? He couldn't think. Xander's cock was buried in his ass. He was finally breached and full and he wanted nothing more than for Xander to start moving. "Please luv." He whispered, thrusting back onto Xander's dick as he begged. "Please fuck me. Fast and hard, slow and sweet. Whatever you want. Just move!"
Xander chuckled silently as he slowly pulled out of Spike. He moved as slow as he could given his own desire to immediately plunge back into the suctioning cavern of his lover's channel. But from the moaning and thrashing Spike was doing below him, he knew that his lover felt every scrape of his cock along the way. Once he was almost completely out, he oh so slowly pushed back in. Continuing the slow rhythm until Spike began to beg once more.
"Luv touch me please!" Spike begged, his own hands had been pumping his cock furiously, but he longed for Xander's warm touch. The moment he felt Xander's hands on him he took his own and braced them against the floor, pushing up to meet Xan's downward thrusts. "Xan please. God please. Too much. Not enough. Need…need. Gah!" Xander thrust down harshly poking his hard cock at Spike's prostate.
Xander could feel that Spike was close. And on impulse he reached down and bit sharply at Spike's shoulder. The vampire cried out and spilled all over Xander's hand and the pillow. His anus contracting around Xander as his orgasm washed through him.
Xander stilled for a few moments, waiting for Spike to return to him. When Spike realized that Xander had still not come, he wiggled his ass in tempation. "Hard and fast luv?"
"Fuck yeah." Xander panted harshly as he finally began to pound into his lover. He licked the few drops of blood still welling on Spike's shoulders and whispered a husky "mine" into Spike's ear. The vampire shuddered. He loved it when his mate reclaimed him. He loved that Xander felt so strongly for him.
Spike began to rhythmically tighten his muscles on each of Xan's downward thrusts. A minute later and he was rewarded with Xander's harsh pants and hot semen.
Xander rolled slowly off Spike, wrapping his arms around his lover and pulling him to his chest. They snuggled for a few moments. Spike leaning up to kiss Xander gently, before getting up to shower and dress for the day.
Dawn was fighting back the tears that threatened as Glory's minions tied her to the top of the tower. When she'd first climbed the stair and reached the top, she gave an involuntary shudder as she looked back down at the ground. There was no way she'd survive a fall from this tower, and so had no choice but to obey when they had brought the chains out.
"You won't get away with this. Buffy's gonna save me." Dawn quietly informed the goddess.
Glory only smiled at her, infuriating Dawn even more.
"She's gonna kick your bony ass!" Dawn screamed.
"Tsk. Tsk. Watch your mouth little girl. Didn't your sister teach you any manners?" Glory turned to leave, ordering a few minions to stay and watch the key. "I'll be back sweetie. Don't wait up." And then she was gone.
Xander was scared. He knew that Spike was the only one who could really protect Dawn once they got there, Buffy would be too busy with Glory, but he feared for his love. He heard and echoed Spike's promise to protect Dawn until the end of the world, and Xander knew that they would never break that promise.
He hefted his sword more comfortably on his shoulder and snorted. Their weapons seemed so small and useless. How could they fight a hell god? He felt Spike's cool hand on his shoulder, then clasping his one free hand.
Without looking at each other they knew. Whether they could or not wasn't the point. They had to.
"Spike!" Xander cried as he saw his lover bound up the stairs of the tower. "Please God." He murmured softly as he continued to fight the minions surrounding him, protecting the girls as best he could.
Then he saw Glory and Buffy fighting and kicking their way up the tower as well. Mentally he shouted to his lover to watch out, be prepared. Glancing up momentarily to catch a glimpse of black as it swirled in the wind at the top of Glory's crazy contraption. His heart caught in his throat when he noticed a third figure there as well.
The scream echoed harshly, bouncing off the walls as he saw Spike fall lifeless from the tower. In a cold fury he attacked and killed all the minions in his path until finally he was there. Kneeling by Spike's side, sobbing openly at the unconscious figure laying before him. His whole body going numb while he waited for his lover to turn to dust.
His attention was caught momentarily by a flash of light above him. The Gate, he thought. Glory's opening the Gate. He couldn't summon the heart to care. If his love was dead, what would it matter if all the demons of the universe descended on top of him now?
"It's happening luv." Spike whispered. "I failed."
Xander's heart flipped at the sound of Spike's voice. Quickly he turned back to reassure him. "No Spike. You did everything you could. We all did." And then he lowered his lips to Spike's in one final kiss. "I love you." He whispered, looking back up at the Gate he wondered if this were their last moments together.
But then the Gate flashed once more and collapsed into itself. Xander watched in fascination until he realized that one final body was hurling out of the Gate before it closed. "No!"
Buffy's body lay crumpled only a few feet away. The Gate closed, Glory dead. But at what price? Xander's tears flowed freely. He looked down to see tears shining in Spike's eyes as well. Reaching out they held each other fiercely while the rest of the scoobies came out staring at the body of their friend in shock.
Where do they go from here?
12 Grief and Love
Xander stood dry eyed and still as the casket was lowered to the
ground. What was wrong with him? He'd cried ten times a day this
past week, but now, NOW, when he really should be crying, nothing.
He shook his head, lowering his eyes to the ground before his feet.
He felt the gentle pressure as Spike wrapped his waist in a one armed embrace. The vampire's eyes shining with wetness, only made Xander that much more frustrated with himself. What was wrong with him?
Dawn's sobs were loud and heart wrenching. She stood in between Willow and Tara, supported on both sides. Giles stood a little behind the three, his eyes dark and incredibly sad. He'd lost a daughter in Buffy. And Xander knew that if anyone blamed themselves for Buffy's death it would be Giles, her ex-watcher.
The funeral ended. Xander closed his eyes and leant into Spike's cool body. Was it time to go home yet? Could they just leave? No. They would follow the girls back to the Summers home and do the meet and greet for all the guests. They couldn't, wouldn't leave the rest of the gang to deal with it.
Resignedly he reopened his eyes and pulled away from Spike. As they turned to walk back toward the car, Spike's hand shot out and took hold of his. Giving silent but understanding support. Xander held on for dear life.
As he walked he glanced around him at the other guests heading back to their cars. Did they think it strange that the funeral was held at night? Or was it just another Sunnydale phenomenon to be ignored? Nobody had asked. And it wasn't as if the scoobies were going to volunteer information.
They trudged up the hill, finally reaching their car. Xander slid into the passenger side, not wanting to think enough, function enough to drive the few blocks it would take. Spike started the car without a word. Only taking Xander's hand once more after they'd cleared the cemetery gates.
Arriving at the Summers home, they saw that the house was already full. They had a plethora of casseroles and other buffet type items out on the dining room table. It seemed that every neighbor and otherwise clueless resident of Sunnydale had thought a potpie or a pineapple upside down cake would somehow make everything better.
Xander wanted to cry out with frustration. Instead he walked toward Dawnie and just held his arms open. She flew into them, sobbing on his shoulder struggling to catch her breath. He ran gentle fingers through her long shining hair, and cooed words of comfort in her ear. All the time feeling numb and lifeless himself. Where were his tears?
The rest of the night was spent mingling. Excepting condolences, answering questions. Finally, finally the guests left, leaving in their wake silence and a sad sense of relief. At least this part was over. Were they supposed to get on with their lives now?
Xander and Spike helped the girls clean up the house. Throwing almost everything they could away. Nobody wanted to keep any reminders of why the food and desserts had been given. They didn't need any.
Exhausted Spike and Xander headed home. It was after one in the morning, and they had just kissed the girls goodnight and left Giles to watch over them. They climbed in to the car, still silent. Reaching home they plodded up the stairs, neither one wanting to take the time to wait for the elevator.
Xander stripped bare the second they entered the bedroom. He was cold, but felt trapped in his clothes. So naked, he slipped under the covers, drawing the sheet up to his chin. He was shaking when Spike followed him.
Immediately Spike pulled Xander into his embrace, rubbing his arms up and down the boy's back and arms, cooing softly.
"It's okay, you can cry now luv." Spike whispered in his ear. The first full sentence either of them had spoken that day.
And like a dam he burst. His voice exploded in a keening wail, shudders wracked his body. Spike only continued to coo softly, purring now and then, and rocking him gently.
His crying tapered slowly. His voice was hoarse and his throat felt raw. "She's gone Spike." His head shook in denial. "Why? How…how are we supposed to go on? What's going to happen now?"
Spike petted Xander's hair, still rocking him gently. "Life Xan. Life happens now." He whispered the words in Xander's ear, giving it a gentle kiss before continuing. "We go on, because we have to. Because we made a promise and I intend to keep it." He continued to stroke Xander's hair, a familiar and comforting gesture. "Buffy asked us to live. And so we will."
They lay together for several minutes, Xander's breathing returning to normal, his eyes drying. He leaned up to give Spike a chaste kiss on the lips, and whisper a quiet "thank you" before resettling on his chest. And as dawn drew near they both quietly slipped into the oblivion of sleep.
How? Why? Bloody Hell, Yes!
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