Rating: NC-17 (for the naughty sex parts)
Pairing: X/S
Spoilers: A wee bit through S5 with the whole Glory fiasco.

Summary: This is a sequel to my fic Who? What? Huh? It is also an answer to another Scorpio Challenge
(http://members.tripod.com/sentinel-cat/Scorpio/id207.htm) this time called Mess with Spike.
The terms of the challenge will be detailed at the end of the fic.
Basically Willow tries to cure Tara's insanity by making her forget the "moment insanity descended". Spike gets hit with it and forgets that he was ever turned!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Joss owns it all damn him!
Feedback: Yes please! margaritagomez1@msn.com
Archive: If you want it just email me to tell me where it's going.

Author's Note: This is a little more angsty than my first fic given that poor Xander has to deal with a Spike that has forgotten that he loves him! Poor baby! (And the fact that Glory is around) But there are still a few laughs mixed in - I hope ;)

Oh Yeah - this fic takes place approx. 2 years after Who? What? Huh? Xander finally moved out of the basement, but moved in with Spike instead of Anya of course.

Where? When? Gah!


1 The Plan

Xander was spending a lazy Sunday afternoon with his lover. They had just woken up and were now finishing up their make shift breakfast.

He stopped for a moment to watch as Spike emptied the dishwasher. He was only wearing a pair of boxers so every time he reached down for a clean plate and then reached up to place it in a cabinet Xander could admire his muscles bunching and contracting.

"If you want this place clean before the witches arrive you better stop staring at me like that luv." Spike said without turning around.

Xander grinned and stood. He too was only in a pair of boxers making his arousal difficult to miss. He stepped up behind Spike and pressed his entire length against him as he wrapped his arms around Spike's waist. He placed his chin on Spike's shoulder and leaned in to whisper in his ear.

"I think it's clean enough." He replied just before biting down on Spike's lobe.

Spike groaned and pushed back to grind himself against Xander's erection. He could feel the hard pulse of his lover's cock nestled in between his arse cheeks. His own cock responding with a twitch and throb.

Xander's hands moved up from his waist to find and circle each of Spike's nipples. He took one and began to pinch and roll it, while his mouth trailed wet circles along Spike's sensitive neck.

Spike's head lolled to the side, giving his lover more access. He groaned and closed his eyes as the sensations rolled over him.

"Xan! Fuck, I love you!" Spike cried as Xander twisted his nipple mercilessly. His hips thrusting involuntarily forward and back against Xan's cock.

"You love me, or you love what I do to you?" Xander teased.

"Both luv." He grinned and spun in his lover's arms, causing their erections to rub against one another. Both men groaned and thrust forward seeking more contact.

Spike leaned in to capture Xander's lips with his own. He licked at Xander's bottom lip asking for permission to enter. Xander opened obligingly and Spike dove in thrusting his tongue out to trace Xander's top teeth. Xander moaned around their dueling tongues. He could feel the rasp of Spike's taste buds rubbing roughly against his own.

He could feel Spike's cool hands wandering down his body. The muscles in his abdomen clenching as Spike traced the contours there.

When he reached Xander's waistband he moved down swiftly to squeeze Xander's hard cock through the rough material before reaching back up to pull the offending garment off.

They pulled apart to allow Xander a breath. "Bedroom. Now." Xander tugged off the last of Spike's clothing as they made their way toward their shared room. Once their Xander shoved Spike onto the bed where he splayed himself out with legs spread wantonly and arms held above his head as if bound.

Xander bit his lip trying to stifle the groan at the picture his lover created. He often teased Spike about the way that sex clung to the vampire almost leaking from every pore of his being. In moments like this Xander knew that it was more than just a tease, it was genuine.

Slowly he crawled up his lover's body stopping here and there to lick or bite an irresistible spot of flesh. When he reached his lover's face he looked down to see Spike's crystal blue eyes were flashing yellow and his unneeded breath was coming out in short shallow pants.

Suddenly Spike reared up and flipped Xander so that their positions were reversed. He went to work on Xan's neck, nibbling and licking at the bite mark there. Xander moaned arching into the touch, his dick pulsing with each lick.

"Please Spike!" Xander cried. He could feel his cock dripping with pre-cum. He ached for more friction to ease the painful member.

"Please what luv?" Spike murmured as he traveled down his lover's hard body.

When he reached Xan's groin he looked up with an evil smirk. "Did you need something luv?" He stopped short his lips barely grazing the head of Xander's cock. Xander moaned and thrust up wildly, but Spike was too fast.

"Please…" Xander begged. He opened his eyes to lever Spike with a desire filled chocolate gaze. "Suck me."

Spike shuddered then swooped down and took all of Xander in one swallow. Xander cried out, his hands flying up to wrap the headboard in white knuckled fists. His hips thrust up rhythmically, as Spike lifted up and then slammed back down to swallow him down to the root.

Spike nuzzled his nose in Xander's crisp curls. Just feeling the hot pulse of blood through Xan's cock. He slowed his rhythm. Letting his tongue slide along the length feeling for every vein and ridge. On each upward stroke he pulled his mouth almost completely free of the straining erection.

Xander was babbling incoherently, unable to form complete thoughts with Spike's cool mouth lapping at him. When Spike's tongue stroked out to slide into his sensitive slit, Xander felt his balls tighten and draw up. His hands came off the headboard and reached down to thread their way through Spike's soft curls.

"Spike! Fuck, I'm cumming!" He managed to warn right before he shot down Spike's throat. He could feel the muscles tighten around his dick as Spike swallowed automatically. His body slumping as the last of his ropy semen spurted into his lover's waiting mouth.

Spike made his way back up Xan's body. He smirked at the sated look that met him. When Xander's eyes opened to meet his, he leaned down and languidly kissed the boy's parted lips.

They continued to kiss and pet each other, until Spike could no longer stand it. He began to thrust against Xander's hip letting his pre- ejaculate cover the area there. The sweet slide of flesh against wet flesh made him groan. "Xan luv…ungh…want you." He punctuated his words with passionate kisses.

"Yes." Xander moaned into his lover's mouth. "Take me Spike."

Spike reached down and grabbed hold of Xander's right leg. He hoisted it up until it rested on his shoulder. Taking Xander's other leg to wrap it securely around his waist he positioned himself at Xander's entrance.

Grabbing the lube he slicked both his hand and his cock at the same time. Reaching down he kissed Xander once again as he pushed one finger into Xan's puckered opening. As their tongues played, Spike slipped in a second finger sliding them both in, out and around until he could feel Xander's muscles relax.

He had just the tip of his third finger inserted when Xander pulled roughly away from his mouth. "Take me Spike!" He demanded. "Don't need anymore." He pulled at Spike's hands until his fingers were free. "Just need you." He punctuated this last thought by plunging his tongue back into Spike's open mouth.

Spike groaned, aligning himself up with Xander's hole. He pushed in slowly feeling the ring of muscles squeeze in resistance. When the tip of his mushroom head finally breached the circle they both groaned. Spike stopped wanting to give him time to adjust, but Xander couldn't resist bearing down and taking another inch in.

His cock was half hard again, the feel of Spike filling him making it impossible to stay flaccid. Spike continued to push in slowly until he was fully sheathed within his lover. He leaned down careful not to press too much weight on to Xan as he took the scarred bite mark into his mouth and sucked. Xander's erection twitched to full hardness.

"Yeah…oh god!"

Spike took that as his cue to begin slamming into Xander, his hips pistoning at high speed. He could smell the salty sweat as it dripped off Xander's body, and it made him even harder. It made his mouth water at the thought of licking his lover's body all over.

"Touch yourself Xan." Spike ordered as he felt his climax approaching.

Obediently Xander reached down and grasped his erection in a loose fist. He began to pump in time with Spike's thrust, groaning every time his prostate was stimulated. He groaned at the slight pain as he rubbed the flesh encasing his over-stimulated cock.

At the sight of Xander's self-pleasuring Spike could feel his balls draw up. He wanted to make sure Xander came so he shifted to support himself one handed. His other hand came around to grab one of Xander's nipples and twist painfully. He was rewarded as Xander's eyes rolled to the back of his head and his cum shot out to coat Spike's pale chest. Howling his own pleasure Spike let loose.

They lay together, limbs entwined as they came down from their sexual high.

"Love you." Xander murmured as he snuggled in closer to Spike's chest.

Spike kissed the top of Xander's head and murmured a quiet reply, "Love you too Xan."

He still couldn't quite believe that his unlife had taken such a sharp turn. If anyone had asked him two years ago if he and the whelp would be shacking up, he'd have laughed his arse off.

It was Red's spell that had done it though. He and Xander had been at each other's throats for weeks when suddenly they'd been tossed into each other's bodies, each having to cope with being the other person. It had given them both a chance to learn a little about the other person. Xander learned exactly what it was like to live with a chip and the blood lust, and Spike had learned exactly where Xander's zeppo image stemmed from.

He sighed and wrapped his arm more securely around his lover. He supposed he owed the witch some for his current state. He hated being around her when she was performing the mojo, but she did deserve something for what she'd given him. For that he would be willing to at least listen to what she was planning.


At around 5pm Xander woke to find himself trapped in his lover's cool embrace. He smiled and reached up to kiss Spike on the chin, nudging him awake.

"Come on sleepy head! The girls are going to be here any minute." Xander scrambled off the bed searching for his jeans and a less rumpled t-shirt.

"Told ya, it was either sex or a clean apartment. You chose sex." Spike grumbled and rolled back over onto his side.

Xander laughed and smacked Spike on his bare ass, causing the vamp to yelp. "Come on! We still have a few minutes to do a quick sweep." Xander shuffled out of the way as Spike tried to grab him.

He could hear a mumbled, "Demanding whelp!" as he walked out into the living room. He grinned and began to gather the newspaper and other odds and ends to stack them neatly on the coffee table.

They were in the kitchen cleaning up the last of their breakfast dishes and stealing a few kisses along the way, when the doorbell chimed. Xander opened it to reveal Willow and Tara. The red witch holding the blonde by the arm and cooing soft words of love and comfort at her.

Xander's light mood vanished as he gazed at his longtime friend and her lover. His heart ached to think that it could just as easily have been his lover, if not for the fact that he was "tainted" as Glory put it. As it was, Spike had been tortured and nearly beaten to death at the hands of the hell goddess.

"Come on in Wills. Tara." Xander gestured them both into the living room.

Willow led Tara to the sofa and sat her down, taking the seat beside her. She waited until both Spike and Xander had joined them before beginning.

"I have an idea. To help Tara I mean." She began tentatively. "There's a spell that I know. I think that I can modify it a little so that it can help." She stole a glance at the girl beside her.

Tara was sitting peacefully, playing with a strand of her hair. She had a soft smile on her face and it made Willow's heart ache. She knew that there was no more intelligence behind that smile. At least if there was, it was trapped behind an impenetrable wall. And wasn't that a horrific idea? What if underneath all the madness Tara was there, screaming to get out? Goddess she needed to help her!

"It will make her forget." At the confused looks she continued. "Forget what Glory did to her. Forget that she's lost her mind. I think it might bring her back." Willow said that last part quietly, with more than just a little hope.

"I don't know Will. What if it goes wrong? Or what if it doesn't do anything at all?" Xander reached out to grab a hold of his best friend's hand. "I don't want you to be disappointed."

"I'll take that chance. What's a little disappointment? It's a chance to bring her back, and I can't just walk away from that." Willow pled, turning her puppy dog eyes on them both. "Would you, if it were Spike? Or Xander?" She turned to question each of them.

"I’d risk anything for Xan."

"I'd risk anything for Spike."

They both spoke at once. They turned to give soft smiles to each other before returning to Willow's earnest stare.

"What about the spell itself? You said you'd have to change it somehow?" Spike asked, wary of the implications.

"I know it sounds dangerous, but it's not really. I just have to change the focus from general memories to a specific moment in time. The moment that insanity descended." Willow explained.

Spike sighed. Willow was right. They couldn't leave Tara as she was. And if this had happened to his Xanpet, he wouldn't think twice about the risks. He nodded once, reaching out to grasp Xander's free hand in his own. "We'll help." He answered for them both.

2 The Spell

Tara sat on the floor of the Magic Box surrounded by Willow, Buffy, Xander, and Spike. Willow had poured a circle of sand around the girl, and was now setting up a candle in front of each participant. They were each sitting at one of the four corners - North, South, East, and West.

Willow had made sure that Giles would be out on an errand while they did the spell. She knew that Giles didn't approve of her manipulating the magicks for a spell this powerful, especially when she had to modify it to her needs.

"Okay," she began as she seated herself at the North position. "Grab hands, and don't let go." She cautioned them.

"The spell is in Latin, so you won't be able to understand it. But you all know what we're trying to do." She stared at each one as they nodded ascent, before continuing. "If this works, Tara will be back with us." She gave her love a soft look.

Each candle was lit and the lights dimmed before all four scooby members took hold of each other's hands. Xander took a deep breath, hoping for the sake of his best friend and her girlfriend that this would work. He glanced at his right, the South position, to see Spike and flashed back to their earlier conversation.


"I'm worried pet."

"I know Spike, but we have to try."

"It's just that whenever Red messes with the mojo, you or I tend to get zapped along the way." Spike gave Xander a concerned look.

"Don't worry." He grasped Spike's hand and squeezed. "Nothing's going to happen."

They shared a brief kiss before heading over to the shop.


As Xander came back to himself he heard Willow punctuate the chant with a final "Tabula Rasa!" And then suddenly there was wind whipping through the room. The candles were flickering madly and Tara began a keening wail.

Sobs racked Tara's body as it was lifted off the ground, levitating a few feet in the air. Her hands came up to her face and began to rake long fingernails along her cheeks and neck. Seeing this Spike lunged forward to stop the girl from hurting herself further. He heard Willow's desperate cry and Xander's anguished howl as he broke the circle and tackled the blonde witch.

"No!" Xander saw everything in slow motion. His lover leapt to Tara's defense dropping Xander's and Buffy's hands to reach her. He heard Willow's warning and saw the flash of light as Spike breached the circle of sand and made contact with Tara.

Then suddenly the room was deathly quiet.

Xander scrambled to his feet and rushed toward Spike. He wasn't moving, but at least he wasn't dust. Without breath or pulse he couldn't tell how badly hurt his love had been.

Willow was kneeling next to him her hand wrapped around Tara's wrist, searching for a pulse. Tara's breathing was shallow, but steady. As the minutes passed Willow could tell that they were growing stronger, as was the beat of her heart.

"Spike please." Xander murmured as he ran a soothing hand through Spike's curls. He'd positioned them so that Spike's head was in his lap and he continued to pet and whisper quiet words to his vamp.

Tara's eyes blinked open and she squinted up at Willow, whose tears were falling quietly down her face. "Tara baby?" She asked quietly, pleading.

"W-willow?" Tara's mouth was dry. She swallowed trying to bring more saliva out to wet it down. "What happened?"

At Tara's coherent reply, Willow let out a ragged sob. She wrapped her arms around her lover and brought her up to squeeze against her chest.

After her heart rate slowed to a more normal level, she eased Tara away from her. "Tara honey? Do you know who I am?" Her eyes bored down into those of her girlfriend.

"Of course Willow. Why wouldn’t I?" Tara was perplexed.

Buffy sat quietly as Willow took in the fact that Tara's mind had been returned to her. At Tara's convulsive swallowing she stood to retrieve a glass of water from the kitchenette. While she was there she grabbed a blood bag for Spike and heated it in the microwave. She assumed that he would probably need one when he woke as well.

She returned to the main shop to find Willow placing soft kisses all over Tara's face. Spike was still unconscious and laying in Xander's lap. She could see unshed tears pooling in Xander's eyes and she quickly knelt beside him to place a hand of support on his shoulder.

He looked up at her, blinking rapidly. One tear, then two slid slowly down his cheek. His head snapped back down as he felt the vampire stir below him.

"Spike?" He whispered softly.

Spike's lids opened to reveal ice blue eyes staring up at him. A grin split Xander's face and the few tears that hadn't yet been shed fell. He leaned down to kiss Spike softly on the lips, reassuring himself that his lover was awake and still non-dusty.

When he pulled back Spike's face was a mix of confusion and embarrassment.

Quickly Xander patted his lover's body, searching for injuries. He berated himself for not checking earlier, but when he found nothing of significance he glanced back up at Spike's face.

"What's the matter Spike? Are you hurt? Did I hurt you?" Xander asked. The look of confusion still masking his lover's cherub features.

Xander stared at him willing him to speak. When he finally did, Xander's heart nearly stopped.

"Who are you?"


They all sat around Giles' living room, the ex-watcher finishing up his lecture on the proper use of magicks. Spike sat quietly in one corner, confusion and fear rolling off him in waves. Xander sat miserably on the couch, trying not to focus pleading eyes on his forgetful vamp.

"Now, I'll have to go over exactly the spell that Willow used if I'm to go about reversing it for Spike." Giles gave Willow a stern look.

She tried to look contrite, tried to be sorry, but all she felt was relief and joy that Tara was well again. When she turned toward the girl next to her, her eyes swept across the room landing briefly on the hunched form of her best friend. The happiness suffusing her body dimmed slightly knowing that she had caused the pain that he was now feeling.

"I'm sorry Xander." She said quietly.

"I know Wills. It's not really your fault I guess. Spike knew he shouldn't have broken the circle. You warned us all." Xander tried to be gracious.

"Don't worry Xander, we can reverse the spell." Giles was reassuring. "It will just take some time to work out."

"Time we don’t have." Xander looked up, eyes dark and sad. "We have to concentrate on Glory."

Giles wandered over to the couch, sitting down next to his pseudo- son. He placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed. "We'll make the time."

"Thanks." Xander gave him a brief smile, before glancing quickly at Spike then looking away.

Giles turned in his seat, now facing the vampire. "What do you remember Spike?"

William didn't answer, still trying to take in his surroundings. He was thoroughly confused and hadn't really understood a word any of the people around him had been saying. What was a scooby? And who was Spike?

"Spike?" Giles tried again.

"I'm sorry sir, are you speaking to me?" William asked politely.

Giles raised his eyebrow and stared at the man in front of him. Spike's accent had changed and he no longer sounded like a street urchin. "Yes. Can you tell me what you remember?"

"Well sir…" William thought back to his last clear memory. "I remember leaving the party. I was in a dreadful hurry. I'm afraid I might have been a bit rude to a few of the people that I met along my route home." He furrowed his brow in thoughtful concern. "Although I don't quite remember returning home. Did I hit my head along the way?"

"The party?" Buffy asked realization dawning.

"Yes miss. It was held at Cecily Adams house. Do you know her?" He asked at the look of recognition on Buffy's face.

"No. I'm afraid that I don't." She answered automatically while gesturing to Xander and Giles to follow her to the kitchen. "Please excuse us."

William nodded his head in assent as they made their way out of the room.

Xander was hyperventilating. Buffy was explaining what he already knew. Over the course of their relationship Spike had been more and more forthcoming about his life before he was turned. Xander knew all the details of the turning as well. So he was more than aware of how much time Spike had lost.

"He doesn't remember anything! What are we going to do?" Buffy asked, wincing as she noticed the affect her words had on Xander. "Sorry Xan."

"'S okay." He mumbled back, hoping that Giles would have an answer.

"Well, I'm afraid that we'll just have to explain to him what has happened and some of the things that he's forgotten. He needs to know the basics so that he can take care of himself. At least until we can reverse the spell." Giles tried to comfort Xander with the firm belief that they WOULD reverse the spell.

They returned to the living room, once again seating themselves on the couch to face Spike.

"Spike - " Giles began.

"Why do you persist in calling me that?" William interrupted, frustration and agitation making him forget his manners.

"Er…um…What would you like us to call you?"

"William is my christian name." He answered.

"Okay then. William it is." Giles placated. "William, there are a few things we need to tell you. About what happened that night, and since that night." Giles began.

"William, have you heard of vampires?"

"You mean those stories made up to scare children?" Will answered with a smirk that made Xander ache inside.

"They're not made up Spi - um…William. They're real. And I'm the Vamiper Slayer." Buffy interrupted.

"Buffy please." Giles reprimanded.

Had he fallen in with a group of madmen? Vampires real? Maybe he'd hit his head harder than he thought and he was still unconscious in the hopsital?

Giles turned back to William. "I'm afraid she is correct William. I know this is difficult to believe, but do you remember the people you thought you might have been rude to on the way home that night?"

William nodded slowly.

"They were vampires. They found you later and they turned you."

"Turned me? What does that mean?" William's face was taking on a look of concern. What had happened to him that night?

Xander leaned forward desperately wishing he could take Spike's hand. Instead he settled for staring deeply into his eyes. "It means…William, that you're a vampire now too."

"What? That's ridiculous!" William decreed.

"It's true. That was over a hundred years ago. You've been a vampire ever since." Willow chimed in, trying to reason with him.

"Now I know you're all barmy! 100 years! That is clearly impossible."

"Look around you Will." Xander implored. "Have you ever seen these things before?" Xander gestured toward the TV and the stereo. He could see the lines on Spike's forehead crinkling in confusion.

"We aren't trying to trick you. We just want you to understand." Xander willed Spike to believe him. "Wills accidentally hit you with a spell and you've just forgotten a few things, but we'll fix it soon. I promise."

William looked around him spying things he'd never even imagined were possible. There were bright lights shining through the flat. Lights that didn't look anything like burning torches, or candles. He wasn't sure what the boxes the young man had pointed out were supposed to do, but they certainly didn't appear familiar.

"Where are we? Are we still in England?" He asked quietly, not quite believing the evidence yet.

"No. We're in Sunnydale, California. That's in the Americas. The United States of America, that is." Xander answered softly.

"And what year is it?" William was slowly trying to process the conversation.

"It's 2001." Xander answered.

There was silence for a few moments. William continued to look around the room. His gaze fell on each scooby as he swept his eyes back and forth. Even if the room itself weren't so odd, the occupants of the room definitely did not belong. The young ladies were dressed extremely scantily. And the gentlemen were wearing what looked like servant's clothing, at least the young man was.

And for the first time that night William stopped to study himself. His clothes were in disarray, and were certainly not what he remembered himself last wearing. Of course if he had been taken to hospital they would probably have fitted him with one of their gowns. But these did not appear to be hospital clothing either.

He sighed, the confusion and fear returning to fill his being almost beyond bearing. He turned his head wanting to meet the eyes of the young man who had seemed so earnestly concerned for him earlier. They sat staring at each other for a few minutes before he finally spoke again.

"Where?" Will shook his head. Xander wanted to reach out and smooth the worry lines streaking across his lover's face. "When?" Will looked so lost, Xander's fingers itched to move, but he held himself back.

He knew the moment the information finally sunk into Spike's brain. He stood and began to make his way over to the vampire, knowing that a melt down was about to occur. When it hit, he was already sitting by Spike's side. "Gah!"

3 The Breakdown

Xander automatically reached out to wrap his arms around Spike. The vampire's body was shaking and he was continually repeating the phrase, "no it is quite impossible," in a frantic whisper.

"Shhh. It'll be okay Will." Xander rocked him back and forth, cradling him in his embrace. "I'll take care of you." He leaned down and gently placed a kiss on top of Will's crown of blonde hair.

At the feel of Xander's soft lips, Will leapt to his feet. He was extremely embarrassed and could not for the life of him figure out why he was not a deep crimson. This young man had kissed him twice tonight! Once on the lips! Will had never kissed another person before, except for mother of course. Let alone another gentleman. And on the lips! What was going on?

Xander quickly masked his expression of hurt, realizing that it wasn't Spike's fault that he no longer remembered his life. He stomped down on the feelings of anger toward Willow and frustration in general that were threatening to swamp him.

"I'm sorry Will." Xander tried to apologize, but Spike held up a hand to forestall him.

"I don't believe any of this." Will was adamant. "I don't know what you've done. If you've somehow drugged me, or if you have indeed invented some sort of time traveling device that has brought me here. But I know that I am most definitely not some mythical vampire creature!"

Will retreated to the other side of the room, placing himself as far from the others as possible. He sat down his arms coming around to cross and hug his waist. "And I do not believe in witches, or spells, or…or…any of this!" Like a child throwing a tantrum Will expelled his last breath and then sat gracing the group with a stubborn yet somehow vulnerable look.

"Will." Xander tried to approach, but stopped as soon as he saw Spike flinch at his first step. He swallowed the lump in his throat and continued. "Look at yourself. Are you anything like you last remember? Haven't you noticed that you haven't taken a breath since you woke? Try to feel for your pulse." Xander watched as Spike lifted a hand to his neck, searching for the non-existent heartbeat. "It's not there is it?" He asked softly.

"That doesn't mean anything." Spike's voice was a whisper. "I'm not a proper doctor."

"Will, I know you're scared. I know you don't have a reason to trust us, but please…" Xander begged. "If you could remember you'd know that you trust us with your life." Xander tried to stop the tear from falling but failed. He wiped it away quickly.

"Look at yourself." He repeated. He gestured toward the mirror above the fireplace mantle. He watched as Will stood and walked over. And he was by his side, catching his falling body as Will fainted at the distinct lack of reflection.

Xander placed Spike gently on Giles' bed, tucking him under the covers. Knowing he was still unconscious Xander bent down to press his lips to Spike's forehead whispering softly. "I love you."

He stood and returned to the living room, sighing as he took a seat on the floor.

"I think it might be better if we let Spike sleep here tonight Xander." Giles prompted gently.

"I know." Xander shook his head. "I can't believe it's wigging him out every time I go near him." He dry washed his face, rubbing at the stubble. "Did you see his face when I kissed him?"

"It's not you Xan." Buffy tried to reassure him. "I don't think he was ever with another guy until after he was turned."

"I know." Xander hung his head. "I guess I'm just being stupid. Thinking that he loved me enough to just know. You know?"

"Xan stop!" Willow admonished. "You know that Spike loves you. It's just the spell. He can't help it."

"I know." How many times did he have to repeat it for him to believe it? "Maybe we should all go get some rest. He's good with you right G-man?" Xander had to ask.

"Of course Xander. I'll take care of him until you return tomorrow." Giles promised.

"Okay. I'll bring a few blood bags when I come back. Don't know how long he'll have to stay here, right?" Xan asked his voice low and sad.

"It won't be long Xan, I promise." Willow tried to guarantee.


He was having a breakdown. An honest to goodness breakdown. Just when he thought his life was somehow on the right track. A decent job, a vamp to love, the gods decided to step in and knock him on his ass.

Xander sank back into his mattress, his head resting lightly on the pillows. He could smell the faint spice that was Spike, leather and smoke twisted together. He hugged his lover's pillow to his face, inhaling the scent.

He couldn't stop the small sob that escaped. He didn't think he had any tears left to spill tonight. I guess I am a nancy boy, he thought. And then smiled at the reminder of Spike.

There were so many reminders. They'd invaded each other's lives so thoroughly over the past two years. Xander could hardly remember what it had been like before they'd been together. He released the pillow rolling onto his back to stare up at the ceiling.

His hand came up automatically to caress the scar on his neck. He could feel his cock twitch at the gentle touch. The biggest reminder of all. His mark. Spike's claim.

Suddenly he was laughing so loud and so hard that he had to sit up to catch his breath. The image of Buffy's confused expression and Giles' exasperated one dancing before his eyes.


A few weeks after they'd been returned to their own bodies they had been out on patrol with Buffy and Giles. Xander had been blind-sided and tackled by a vamp. As the fangs descended toward his neck Xander continued to struggle, when abruptly the vamp reared back and leapt off him.

"Consort!" The vamp hissed, just before Buffy's stake plunged through its heart.

"What was that all about?" Buffy asked, as she helped Xander up. "Gotta be more careful Xan."

"Xander! Please tell me that you didn't!" Giles demanded having heard the vampire's dying declaration.

"Didn't what G-man?" Xander tried to widen his eyes in innocence. Spike came up beside him and grabbed his hand in support. "What are you on about watcher?"

"You know what I'm on about Spike!" Giles hissed. "Did you or did you not bite and claim Xander as consort?" He demanded.

"You bit Xander!" Buffy cried, her hand coming up wielding Mr. Pointy. "You are so dust!"

"Buffy stop!" Xander cried, stepping in front of his vamp. "He didn't bite me."

Giles was beside him in a second pulling down the collar of his shirt. "Then what do you call this?" Giles pointed at the visible scar gracing his collarbone where shoulder and neck met.

"A bite…" Xander began. "Buffy stop! Let me explain."

"This better be good." Buffy stood tapping her toe, Mr. Pointy at the ready.

Xander turned to face Slayer and watcher both. "I did it." He could tell that Spike was just itching to rub Buffy's face in this fact, so he punched him in the shoulder to keep him from making any dusty comments.

"Huh?" Buffy asked.

"I did it." He enunciated slowly. "When I was Spike. I bit him, while he was me." Xander tried to explain.

"Xander, do you have any idea what - " Giles began but was quickly cut off.

"Yeah Giles I do. Spike explained it all before I did it. He wanted to make sure I knew what I was doing." Xander gave his lover a warm smile. "I did it anyway. Because I wanted to. Because I love him. Because I want to carry his mark. And because at the time I wanted to claim HIM."

Spike let loose a subsonic growl at the fierce proprietorship Xander expressed.

Ignoring his friends Xander grabbed Spike and pulled him into a strong embrace. Their lips met and their tongues danced. They both moaned as their denim covered erections rubbed together. When they finally broke apart, Xander turned back to Buffy and Giles and promptly burst out laughing.

Buffy's nose was scrunched up in confusion. Giles' face bore a look of utter exasperation, although Xander could see traces of a crimson blush.

He grabbed Spike and turned to head home. At Buffy's parting comment Xander's body shook with silent laughter, knowing that he'd never forget the look on his friends faces.

"You bit yourself?"


Xander wiped the tears of laughter from his face. He lay back down on the bed, wrapping his body around Spike's pillow once more. He sighed deeply at the memories. There were so many good memories. So many things that he knew he'd never forget, even if his vamp could never remember.

No! Giles promised that they would reverse the spell. Maybe it was a little like amnesia. Maybe if he could be reminded of enough things, he'd remember on his own? He wasn't hit with the full spell like Tara was anyway.

Tomorrow he would try to talk to Spike some more. Maybe he could just tell him a few stories about their lives over the past two years. He couldn't have forgotten everything. With that wishful thought, Xander finally drifted off to sleep.

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