"Hi, could I talk to you?"
"Sure, what about?"
"Not here. Can we go to the training room?"
"Gonna be one of those conversations is it?"
"Right, so what have I done or not done?"
"Look, well... we...I mean...the other night...uh."
"Just spit it out."
"Okay, we saw you...that is you and...the two of you when we were patrolling."
"When you say you saw us, I assume you don't mean that you saw us patrolling."
"Uhm, no. You were definitely not patrolling. You were kinda busy doing other things that were not patrolling."
"Right, so you saw us shagging then."
"Not that we were watching or anything."
"Like what you saw did you?"
"Yeah. I mean no. I mean. Look, I wanna know what your intentions are."
"And this is your business because?"
"Xander is my friend and I won't let anybody hurt him."
"Xander is also an adult and can decide these things for himself."
"I know that but I don't want to see him get hurt and if you are only using him you can just stop right now mister."
"So why am I having this conversation with you and not the slayer?"
"Xander has been my friend since we were kids and I can handle this just fine."
"Do you think he can't make these decisions himself?"
"No, of course he can but I care about him and I don't want anything bad to happen."
"You think I'm gonna be a bad thing then?"
"I don't know, maybe."
"Thanks, very nice. After everything I've done for you scoobies, this is what you think."
"I'm sorry but you have to admit you've not always been nice to us and Xander has been my best friend for ages and if anything happens to him I don't know what I'd do and... and."
"Okay, okay. I'm not gonna hurt him."
"No, and don't sound so surprised."
"Well, you were evil and you tried to turn us against each other that time."
"Fair enough. I don't intend to hurt Xander. Care about him."
"Said I did."
"Okay but I'll be watching you and if he gets upset at all, I've got a shovel and I know how to use it."
"Vampire here, what're you gonna do? Try to beat me to death? Might hurt but it won't kill me."
"Fine, I will beat you first then stake you with the broken handle."
"You did threatening pretty well there."
"I'm supposed to be a master vampire, one fourth of the scourge of Europe, William the Bloody, the Slayer of Slayers."
"I think you lost the big bad image the first time I came home early and found you singing in a tub full of bubbles."
"I needed to unwind and it's relaxing."
"Did I mention the duck and the curly hair?"
"S'not the point. She threatened me with a shovel."
"I know. Isn't that great."
"She threatens me and you think that's great."
"Hey, don't be upset. It's not that I don't care about you; it's just that she was worried enough about me to say something."
"You care about me?"
"Uhhh...well...yeah. I...I love you."
"I do too, love you I mean."
"I know you do."
"Still evil though."
"Course you are and very scary."
"You wanna repeat that."
"C'mon. I won't laugh."
"Am I supposed to believe that? You laughed at my hair."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything and I think your curls are sexy."
"Yes, now c'mon what's wrong?"
"Wish somebody worried about me like Red worries about you."
"Who says nobody worries about you? I do and you should've heard the things Angel said he'd do to me if I hurt you."
"Peaches? How did he find out?"
"Buffy of course."
"What did he say? Not that it matters."
"He told me that he would turn me as painfully as possible just so he could have the pleasure of killing me again, very slowly."
"Didn't think he cared anymore."
"Well, he does and doesn't that give you warm fuzzies and nightmares."
"Anytime, sexy curls."
"You wanna take a bubble bath?"