I Don't Know How it Happened


Part Three

Xander shifted uncomfortably. Sex was everything, dammit. And he knew this because Spike had shown up thirty minutes after he'd gone back to the Magic Box, shockingly sober and going out of his way to fuck with Xander's head -- both of them.

He'd made insinuations, comments laced with innuendo that no one else but Xander understood, and he'd positioned himself just where Xander had to pass by him every time he got up to go to the bathroom and Spike groped his ass every. single. time.

It was daunting and embarrassing and Xander found himself harder than he'd ever been, wishing he'd just stayed home locked in his apartment. He could at least have jerked off there.

Not that he hadn't entertained the idea of beating off in the bathroom...and the more he thought about it, the more the idea appealed to him. So.

He sneaked off to the bathroom, managed to get by Spike with only a brief touch of a molesting hand at his tingling crotch and locked himself inside. He stood over the sink, pulled open his pants and began jerking himself off without ceremony.

It was hard and fast and hot because at any moment he could possibly get caught.

He panted open-mouthed, jaw slack, head back. He heard a sound at the door, stopped in mid-stroke and listened intently, eyes closed, head turned to the side, ears pricked. His grip tightened, drawing a low hiss from his lips but he didn't let go of his desperate cock.

The door opened and closed and his eyes shot open. He tried to stuff his cock back inside, wondering what the hell had happened to the lock when he heard it snick in place and strong arms encircled his torso, a hard, lean body pressed up tight against the back of his own and an aroused groin fit snug against the part in his ass.

"Spike," he hissed, beginning to get angry.

"Been watching you, pet, back there; been smelling you too. You're hard and dripping and you want it. I know you do." A pale, dexterous hand circled his cock and began to pump him gently, lightly. Spike's other arm moved behind Xander and he heard a zipper. Then his own pants were pulled down along with his boxers and he was standing there, bits flapping in the breeze while Spike squirted liquid soap into one palm and shoved some fingers up his ass.

"Oh, God," he moaned, head tilting back, breathing deeply, sharply through his nose.

"Yeah, that's it. Open up for Spike. Gonna fuck you and cum deep inside your tight little ass."

Xander whimpered as the fingers moved inside him, preparing him, slicking him, loosening him for Spike's cock. "We can't. Not here," he whispered half-heartedly, gripping the sink in front of him, wishing he had more willpower.

"Yes, we can," Spike whispered equally softly. "Just have to be quiet and quick about it. Don't think that's going to be a problem, really. Ready to burst, I am."

Then Spike thrust into him and they were fucking in Giles' employee bathroom like they did it every day. Spike fucked him hard and fast and clutched onto his hips with both hands tightly. Soon the pace was desperate, hands clawed at Xander's body, a mouth latched onto the back of his neck and Xander's body trembled and shook with every thrust into his ass.

Xander threw back his head, spread his legs wider and let Spike pound into him. He knew they shouldn't be doing this, especially not where they were doing it, but he couldn't stop; he didn't want to stop.

He gasped unevenly as a hand found his cock and stroked it in time with the increasingly brutal thrusts Spike's hips were making; he was cumming before he even realised, semen shooting out of him into the sink. He panted as Spike continued fucking him, his body banging against cold porcelain.

He looked up into the mirror, a little taken aback by the image of what seemed to be just himself rocking against the sink he gripped tightly. He bit his lip as Spike's emissions bathed his insides as he finally came.

He looked away from his own gaze, unable to bear the sight of himself any longer.

Spike pulled out, Xander wiped himself clean, and they both stood uncertain and silent in the confined bathroom.

"We can't do this again, Spike. You stupid bastard."

Spike rolled his eyes and leaned against the door. "Right. You'll come crawling back for more, pet."

Xander scowled at him, then grinned as he tucked himself away and did up his pants. "Who came crawling this time, asshole? I did lock that door. You picked the lock and came in here and attacked me. You were the weak one, not me. I was doing fine till you went and ruined everything."

Spike growled and grabbed Xander by his shoulders; he pushed the boy into a wall, careful not to create any noise. He breathed along the slightly damp skin of Xander's neck. "Didn't see you protesting too much."

Xander shuddered and tried in vain to make his muscles move to push the vampire away. He only succeeded in grabbing Spike's biceps and holding him there against him. "Yeah, well, you didn't give me a lot of choice. You shoved your cock up my ass before I could really say anything and by then it was too late and the old brain went on a vacation. We have to get out of here, Spike. We've been gone too long and they'll be wondering."

Spike grinned and stepped back. "They left for patrol nearly fifteen minutes ago, boy."

Xander's eyebrows rose, then he pouted. "They left me? How...rude!"

Spike rolled his eyes and unlocked the door. He moved out of the bathroom. "Yeah, like that's what I'd be so concerned about."

"What do you mean?" Xander asked, puzzled.

The vampire waved a hand at him. "You've got spunk all over the front of your shirt."

Xander's eyes dropped, then he groaned as he saw the tell-tale white stain. Great.

"Shit. You bastard."

"Hey, it's not my fault, I wasn't even in front of you."

"It is your fault for fucking me in the first place! If you hadn't followed me in here I'd've just jerked off and been back and we wouldn't be having this stupid conversation! I wouldn't feel like a stake had been shoved up my ass, either! Stupid vampire."

Spike shimmied back into the bathroom and into Xander's personal space. He purred, "Can stake you again, if you want..." He licked Xander's pulse point.

Xander scowled, not swayed by Spike's seduction technique, and shoved the vampire roughly away. "Fuck off, chippy."

Spike's face contorted in anger but he stepped away and left the bathroom without comment.

Xander frantically scrubbed at the evidence of his naughty little secret act from his t-shirt, sighing forlornly as he found out he couldn't wash it off.

"Well, crap."

He went home, went to bed, and certainly didn't dream about a naked Spike or doing naked things with him. He also didn't wake up and jerk off twice during the night, nor did he cry out Spike's name or think about him while he was doing it.

He did think about Spike the next morning when he found his crumpled up, semen stained shirt on the floor where he'd discarded it when he'd given up on trying to get the stain out again.

He balled it up and stuffed it in the garbage.

Then he jerked off in the shower again.


He was watching tv with a beer in one hand, the remote in the other, legs propped up and crossed over his scarred coffee table, form slumped on his sofa when there came a knock at the door. He glanced at it wearily, then shrugged and ignored it. He didn't feel like answering it and if it was anything important like, say, saving the world, Buffy and Willow could deal with it and let him stay holed up in his apartment.

When the knocking finally stopped, he relaxed and went back to watching Stargate: SG-1.

And when the door swung open, Xander shot upright, beer over-turning into his lap, remote falling to the floor. He cursed, stood up and wiped ineffectually at the spreading beer stain working its way down his sweatpant leg.

"Great," he mumbled.

"You're avoiding me again," Spike announced, coming into Xander's apartment as if he had a right to. He slammed the door, locked and bolted it, and sauntered over to the couch. He eyed the spreading wet spot on Xander's pants with unrestrained glee. "Piss yourself? Knew you humans were weak but...pissing yourself at the drop of a hat is just...pathetic and sad."

Xander's cheek ticked as anger swelled over his body, a knot of heat coiling in his stomach. He clenched his fists together and stepped back. He knew what Spike was trying to do and he wasn't going to go along with it, no matter what the sexy, alluring, hot, pretty bastard did.

No sirree, Bob.

"Not talking, are we? That's all right, then. You don't need to say a word. I'll talk. See," Spike made himself comfortable on the couch Xander had just been reclined on. "It's like this: I think we should just shag. Shag and shag and shag some more because it's bloody good is what it is. A good thing shouldn't go to waste, right?"

Xander was speechless. Completely without speech. He just stared at Spike, befuddled, bemuddled...be-whatever. "Umm...no? How about you go away and we can put this all behind us. I mean, it's not like we like each other. Why should we keep having sex if we don't like each other?"

Spike rolled his eyes. "What's liking each other got to do with anything? From your past relationships...I wouldn't think this was any different. Cordelia, the bad slayer, demon bint..."

Every part of Xander stiffened in shock and anger and reluctant arousal but he was not going to give into it, dammit.

"Fuck. You. Spike. Get out. I don't want to see your stupid vampire face anymore! I hate you!"

Spike stood up. "Is that all you got, pet? No wonder you're always the submissive one."

Xander's world went red, then white, then red again and he launched himself at the vampire who was smirking at him. A split second before their bodies connected and Xander's squashed Spike's down onto the floor, he saw a spark of what could've been identified as fear, then it disappeared.


Xander ripped their clothes off, spat in his hand, stroked his cock, lined up and just shoved himself inside the ass hole of the asshole underneath him. He fucked Spike hard and deep and brutally pounded the vampire into his carpet.

Spike was folded nearly in two, legs drawn up to his chest, spread wide over Xander's shoulders as his arms drew the boy in even closer for more. Xander plunged his tongue in the vampire's mouth in time with his thrusts.

They moaned. They writhed. They thrust. They touched. They gasped. They panted.

They came.

Spike arched up, his cock pulsing between them, spurting wetness on both of them. Xander slammed into the vampire's body and shot hot cum deep inside him.

They collapsed.

Afterward, they gathered up their clothing, spoke no more about what had happened and went their separate ways.

Xander didn't know what the hell to do. So he pushed it to the back of his mind and went to bed. Alone.


While the rest of the gang were out demon hunting, Xander went to the Bronze on his own. He played pool, made an ass out of himself, lost to a random guy who had taken it upon himself to use the same table because he was there alone too, and drank beer.

He was deliciously buzzed, bent over trying to line up a shot when he felt a hand on his ass. A warm hand.

He'd almost been expecting it to be Spike.

He jerked upright, nearly sending the pool cue flying. He scuttled backward, ass pressing into the table, burning from the guy's touch. "Umm...hands in bad places. Why was your hand on my ass, Mike?"

Mike pressed himself against Xander and kissed him. "Because you have a nice ass, Xander."

Xander blinked. "Oh. That's a...valid reason. I guess. Mike, are you hitting on me?"

The blond grinned and wrapped his arms around Xander's shoulders. He pressed his semi-erect cock into Xander's thigh. "Yep. How's it going? You think I'm gonna get any tonight?"

Xander swallowed hard. This stranger was making him feel nearly as good as Spike made him feel. He was beginning to think the Spike and guy fucking thing wasn't an isolated incident.

The more he stood there allowing Mike to grope and touch and kiss him, the more he thought about...stuff.

Well. It certainly explained some things.

He was kind of gay. Huh.

He was also kind of enjoying what Mike was doing to his ear right out in the middle of the Bronze and he wasn't caring that people might be staring or seeing him like this.

Yeah, definitely gay.

He swallowed hard. "Look, Mike..."

The other man sighed and stepped back. "You're going to tell me to lay off, that you're not gay, that I'm moving too fast...one or all of the above, right?"

Xander grinned slightly and brushed a lock of hair from the other man's cheek. "Actually, I was going to say why don't we move this to a more private location, like one of the secluded couches in the back...we're kinda putting on a show here, Mikey."

Mike smiled brightly, grabbed Xander's hand with one of his own and both their beers in the other, then pulled the boy along behind him to the back of the darkened club.

Xander laughed.


Mike turned out to be a very good kisser and, as Xander lay reclined over most of the little sofa they'd taken for their own beneath Mike's weight, he decided that this wasn't a bad thing at all. Kissing boys was fun, it was exciting, and boys also knew more about his body than girls did because they had all the same parts.

He gasped as Mike's hand tweaked his nipple, then wandered down his stomach to the bulge beneath his jeans. He tensed a little, pulling his mouth away from the other man's.


Mike smiled wryly. "Too much too soon, right?"

Xander worried his kiss swollen lip. "Little bit, yeah. Making out is good...we just met, we have time to get to know each other, don't we?"

"That we do, Xan. Now...before I went and fucked up...where were we?" Mike straddled one of Xander's legs and lay against him. He settled in, wrapped his arms around Xander's neck and then kissed the corner of his mouth before dipping his tongue inside. "Ah, there we were."

Mike kissed Xander, Xander kissed Mike. It was a beautiful thing.

They were making out, having fun, pleasantly aroused when suddenly Mike disappeared and Xander was left with a whole lot of nothing in his lap and his lips were suddenly cold and alone.

He opened his eyes to see a furious Spike holding onto the back of Mike's jacket, keeping him away from Xander.

The boy swallowed, licked his lips and then got angry. He shifted on the couch, ignoring his erection for now and glared at the vampire holding his make-out buddy. "What the hell do you think you're doing, Spike?"

Spike let go of the scruff of the blond's neck and shoved him away as hard as he could. "Get the fuck out of here, you little ponce. Me and the boy need to have a little talk."

"But--Xander, what's going on? Who is this guy? Is he your boyfriend?"

"God, no, Mike. I'm so sorry. This is Spike, the asshole. He sometimes gets a little carried away. He's...protective. Possessive. Something." Xander shrugged helplessly, eyes pleading for Mike to understand without having to be told too much.

"Yeah, I'll bet," Mike sighed, rubbed the back of his neck and started to walk away. "It was good while it lasted, right, Xan?"

Xander grinned. "Yeah, it was. If I see you..."

Mike smiled. "Anytime, anyplace. Later." The blond's green eyes met Spike's angry blue ones and his smile disappeared. "Umm...bye." He hurried away from the vampire, disappearing into the dancing crowd.

"Spike, you bastard!" Xander growled angrily once Mike had disappeared. "What the hell are you doing here? Why'd you have to spoil a good thing? A really, really good thing!"

Spike snorted, pulled out his pack of cigarettes, his lighter, then lit one and shoved the remaining items back in his duster. He puffed for a moment, then said, "Just protecting what's mine, boy."

"I am not yours, Spike! I was closer to being Mike's than yours. Ugh! I'm so outta here. Don't follow me. Don't come near me. I hate you!" Xander exclaimed angrily, rocketing off the couch and nearly making it to the dance floor before Spike caught him and jerked him back. "Let me go, you insane freak!"

Smoke was heavy in his nose as Spike pressed an erection the size of Texas into the cleft of his ass and rotated it with the slow grind of his hips. Xander bit back a whimper and did not thrust back against Spike.

"No," Spike said easily, dragging Xander up onto the almost-deserted balcony. Xander was taken to a dark, very secluded corner and shoved down on a couch he'd never known was there. Spike plopped down beside him, nearly in his lap and glued himself to his side. "Now, want to tell me what that little...dalliance was about? This Mike git was all over you like a cheap suit."

Xander jerked his face away from Spike's inquisitive gaze and the gentle fingers that caressed his cheek. He tried to get up but the grip of Spike's other fist on his shirt stopped him. He sighed and fell back, resigned. "It's none of your business. I met the guy playing pool. He whipped my ass. I had fun, anyway. He didn't insult me. He didn't fight with me. He was nice. He liked me. He flirted, made a pass, I said yes and then we were making out till you went and stopped it. By the way? Thanks for that, you undead, jealous creep."

Spike growled, tugging the boy closer. He licked Xander's neck, fangs lengthening slightly to scrap against the hot flesh. "If I could I would mark you right here. Would tell everyone whose you were and that you weren't available. You need to learn, pet, that you're not going to stray from me because you're mine and no one else's. Mine to fuck, mine to use, mine to..."

As Spike trailed off to lick his neck again, Xander shuddered, frowned and just lay there and let Spike do what he wanted. Despite the fact that this vampire had an incapacitating handicap shoved in his brain he seemed to get what he wanted anyway. It upset Xander's balance, fucked with his head, and, oh God, that tongue should be outlawed because it did really good things to various parts of his anatomy.

It also made it hard to think because Xander completely forgot what he'd been brooding about and arched into the scorching mouth moving across his skin. When Spike finally kissed him it was nothing like it had been with Mike. It was hotter despite the lack of body heat on the vampire's part; it was better.

What the hell was he going to do about this?

As Spike laid him down and positioned himself between Xander's thighs, grinding their cocks together between layers of clothing, Xander decided that at that moment he didn't really care what he did about it. Right now he was going to enjoy. Later he'd deal with the fall-out.


The inside of the front of his pants was sticky with his release and the outside bore the evidence of Spike's. He scowled and untucked his shirt -- thankfully it was long enough to cover the mess -- and walked home under Spike's possessive arm because the vampire wouldn't allow him to go on his own, no matter how hard he'd fought.

Mike was gone, Xander's night was ruined...well, except for the hot sex with Spike, but that was beside the point. The point was Spike kept distracting him from thinking and doing anything about their little...situation by doing sexy things to his body.

Not that his body protested. It was his mind that had the problem.

He sighed, ducked from beneath Spike's arm once they reached his apartment, then slammed the door in the vampire's smirking face with a glare on his own.

He sagged against the door, somehow knowing, feeling that Spike was still there.

He didn't make a sound, Spike didn't make a sound, and eventually he heard footsteps echoing in the hall announcing the vampire had finally left.

He tore off his clothing, fell face down naked on his bed and passed out.


Xander woke up to the sensation of someone watching him. It prickled along his spine, settled in his bare groin, jolted his cock to awareness more quickly than his brain actually arrived there.

He turned to find a set of bright blue eyes staring into his own from the side of the bed. He gasped, sat up so quickly he fell off the edge of the bed. He hit the floor with a loud thud and a gasp as the air left his body and groaned as his ass and hip bone got the brunt of the fall.


"You all right there, pet?" asked the blond nimrod, who didn't seem to have a problem with the stalking or the breaking into his apartment thing or the watching him sleep naked without his permission thing.

"Oh, I'm fine." He lay there until a blond head peered over at him. He glared up at the seemingly innocent eyes. "What the hell are you doing here? I was sleeping. How'd you get in, anyway? I threw the deadbolt."

"Oh, I have my ways," Spike murmured, eyes taking a leisurely stroll down Xander's reclined, naked form. "Say, why don't you hop back up here and I'll get my kit off. Then we can have some real fun. Been waiting ages for you to wake up. You humans need too much damn sleep."

Xander barked out a slightly hysterical laugh. "Oh, I think not, pal. You're evil. And bad. And...I really don't like you. You ruin everything. Why the hell would I have sex with you again?"

Spike grinned, eyes stopping on Xander's groin. He pointed at the rising flesh. "Because your body knows what it wants even if your mind's a bloody cesspool of confusion and stupidity?"

Xander huffed, crossed his arms and presented his back to Spike.

"Oooh, pet. That's really not going to put me off. Like that view, I do," Spike purred silkily.

Xander heard his mattress springs squeak and his eyes widened. Spike crept up behind him and rubbed his still-clothed body against Xander's.

Xander tensed, moved away, and proceeded to crawl hurriedly, ridiculously naked, sensitive bits flopping, across the bedroom floor.

Spike followed, predatorily stalking after him on his hands and knees and not looking any kind of ridiculous.

Xander didn't know how he did it. Being all sexy like that. Somehow, it wasn't fair.

Xander lurched to his feet and grabbed the only piece of clothing he could find within reach: his bathrobe. He pulled it on, knotted the belt and ran out into the living room, panting, making his way to the other side of the couch to put something between himself and the vampire.

"Why can't you leave me alone? You're stalking me, for Christ's sake! Why can't you get it through your bleached, chipped head that I don't want you?"

Spike rose gracefully, fluidly, to his feet, licked his lips and sauntered over to the other end of the couch. "Because even though you're reluctant to admit it...you really do want me. You crave what I can do to your body. You want me to touch and taste every inch of you. You want me to fuck you stupider than you already are."

Xander swallowed convulsively, hands clenching on the back of the couch. His knees trembled, knocking together. There was an insult in there somewhere but he couldn't think and be seduced at the same time. "I don't know what you're talking about, Spike. You need to leave. Now. I don't want you here. You insulting me does nothing for me. At all."

Spike nodded, clucking his tongue. He put his hands up in the 'I surrender' pose and backed toward the door. "If that's what you really want, pet, I'll leave. But the next time you get an itch, get a yen for my hot, tight and muscular body...you know where to go to get it. I'll be there waiting. It won't be long, I guarantee."

And with that, Spike swept dramatically out of the apartment, door clicking shut firmly behind him. His final words echoed long after he'd gone.

Xander flipped the locks -- as ineffectual as they might be against a master lock-picker -- and went back to bed. He tucked the sheets up under his chin and stared wide-eyed at the ceiling.

Well. This sucked.


Spike was as good as his word -- for once. He stayed away from Xander. He allowed him space. He didn't make innuendos or try to touch him or anything when they went on patrols together. He didn't even come around to Xander's apartment to annoy him.

That really annoyed Xander.

For some stupid reason he missed Spike.

Oh, it was bad. Very, very bad.

He considered, briefly, going to the Bronze and trying to find Mike but gave that idea a miss when all he thought about when thinking about Mike was the night he'd rubbed off with Spike up in the eaves of the club after the whole Mike incident.

He couldn't think about anything mundane without thinking about Spike, either, and it was getting to him much more than anything the vampire could've done.

He was slowly going insane and masturbating himself to death.

He really hadn't known it was possible to do that.

Part Four

The others were deep in Scooby research mode, so he slipped into the practice room with a low sigh. He flopped down on the practice mat and stared up at the ceiling.

He'd really like to talk about his situation with someone but Willow would've drawn it way out of proportion. Buffy would end up staking him, then Spike. Giles would've just lectured the hell out of him and probably yelled about what an idiot he'd been to take up with Spike like that in the first place and cleaned his glasses until the lenses broke.

Though...there was someone that maybe could shed some light on his problem. Tara.


He showed up at Tara's dorm room when he was certain Willow and Buffy both had a class. When she opened the door, shocked and shy but letting him inside anyway despite the surprise visit, he grinned and bounced inside.

"I know we don't know each other very well and you're Willow's girlfriend and don't even like men but...I needed to talk to someone and...I think maybe you could help me."

"O-oh. Um, okay. What c-can I do for you, Xander?" She tucked part of her curtain of hair behind one ear and went to sit down on her neatly made bed.

Xander sat down across from her, bringing one of his legs up so he could face her. "See, it's like this. Umm...I have a thing with someone, but...okay, I need to start over. At the beginning. I think I'm gay. Okay, I'm really sure I'm gay."

Tara's eyes widened. "G-Go on."

"And because of this gayness, I, um, slept with a guy. A guy I don't really like but...we have really hot sex and I can't seem to say no. We've got this...chemistry. This...heat. It's not like anything I've ever felt before. I've only been with two women in my life sexually but, umm, I didn't feel it with either of them. And this one guy..." Xander shuddered, eyes glassing over. "He's...well, he's something else. I just don't know what to do about it. He's possessive and...I say I hate him and that I don't want him around and that I don't like what he does...but I'm so lying. I can't get enough of it...him. I-I just don't know what to do about it. Should I, umm, try to ignore him and hope it'll just go away?"

He stopped and waited expectantly.

Tara played with the hem of her shirt, fingers twitching anxiously. "Umm...before you slept with him, what was your r-relationship like?"

"Oh, we hated each other." Xander snorted. "That's what started it. We hated each other, we fought, and we ended up, umm, fucking. Heat of the moment thing, I guess. It just...keeps happening, though."

"Oh, I see. I th-think that if you really deep down like him then you should go for it. If it's just for sex and neither of you are hurting from it...well, I can only tell you what I f-feel personally. I can't make love to someone I don't really care for. S-sex isn't something that I take l-lightly. I don't know about you but...if I h-had the kind of chemistry you have with this...g-guy I would let it take its course. You never know. This might be 'the one'."

Xander swallowed. "No way. You've gotta be shitting me."

Tara smiled softly. "I shit you not."

His mouth dropped open. "Tara!"

"Sometimes, people surprise you, Xan. You can't always tell who they really are until you dig down deep and get to know their innermost w-workings. To do that...you may have to look deep down inside yourself. At how you are around them. If you're a better person, if you're happier...then I think you've f-found your answer."

Xander suddenly grabbed Tara and hugged her hard. "I so love you. I get the whole Willow liking you thing. If I wasn't gay and you weren't gay..."

Tara giggled, face flushing in embarrassment. Looking up through her lashes as he pulled away, she said, "Y-Yeah. If. Xander?"

Xander stood up, scratching the back of his neck thoughtfully. He looked into Tara's eyes as she stood as well. "Yeah?"

"Is this g-guy...Spike by any chance?"

His brain was static. He had absolutely nothing to say. He couldn't even make his mouth work other than falling open and hanging there trying to catch flies that weren't currently in the room.

She laughed. "Nobody else has noticed, if that's what you're w-wondering. I just have this ability to see auras and stuff. Yours and Spike's aren't clashing against each other a-anymore."

"What? Not clashing? What exactly are they doing?" Xander asked, eyeing her suspiciously. His aura? Spike's? Vampires had auras? What the hell was an aura?

She smiled, leading him to the door. "They've melded. They've started to i-intertwine. They're blending t-together."

"Oh," Xander said softly, stepping out into the hall. "Umm...thanks. And, Tara? Could we keep this between us? I don't think it'd be a good idea for the others to know. At least, not now."

"Sure. I-I can keep a secret."

Xander walked out of the dorm a little numb and a lot confused. Despite what Tara said about their meldy, melty blendy auras...he still didn't know what he was going to do.

So, he went to get a coffee and some donuts. He always thought better on a full stomach.


He stuck his head under the hot shower spray, wetting his hair, his body luxuriating in the heated water beating down on him, melting his troubles away for the moment. He lathered his body, washed his hair, rinsed himself clean and then got down to business.

He jerked off. It was quick and hard and embarrassing exactly how fast he reached climax when he accidentally on purpose thought about Spike.

He dried off, got dressed, plopped down in front of the tv and ate pizza and drank beer. He fell asleep there and woke up with a crick in his neck and a ringing phone that couldn't mean anything good because it was two in the morning.

With a sigh, he answered it.

Ah, good, it was a demon that they actually needed his help with. Oh, the joy.

He got dressed, loaded up some metal spikes designed to take out demons that weren't stakeable by wood like he'd been asked and met Buffy, Willow and Tara at the cemetery.


He was greeted by the sight of Spike bent over, apparently tying one of his boots. But the way the vampire was going about it, lingering and going as slowly as possible without drawing attention, emphasizing his ass underneath the taut material of his leather duster alerted Xander to the fact that Spike hadn't actually needed to tie his shoe. He was trying to entice Xander.

Temptation would not tempt Xander. He could resist. He really could.

He handed out metal spikes, taking care not to touch Spike in any way, looking in the opposite direction when Spike leered and stroked his metal weapon suggestively.

And then they were off. If was messy work. It was hard work. God, Xander was tired by the time he'd made his last demon explode blue slime all over himself.

Pats on the back, jobs well done, and Xander was about to head back to his place after the others left when Spike stopped him with a hand on his arm.

"What?" he asked suspiciously.

Spike smiled innocently, blue tinted skin glowing almost prettily under the moon and artificial street lights. "Could I use your shower? Got a bit slimed and you know I don't have one of my own."

Looking into those luminous blue eyes of Spike's, Xander found he couldn't refuse the vampire. With a sigh and a slight nod, he headed home, pretty blue-tinted vampire in tow.


It was his second shower of the night, only this time there was something different. It could've been the late hour, it could've been that he was having difficulty getting the viscous blue slime off his body, or it could've been the naked vampire sneaking into the shower behind him.

He started when he felt the cold draft, knew what was coming when he felt it and froze when Spike actually climbed inside, pulling the shower curtain closed behind him. Cool hands touched his wet body and he shuddered.


"What is it, pet?"

"I thought you were gonna lay off the touchy touchy stuff."

"Yeah, well, got impatient, I did. Think I'll try a different approach."

Xander sighed, then moaned as Spike's hands started to massage his tensed shoulders, simultaneously relaxing him and removing some of the hard to reach slime from his skin.

"Yeah, well, whatever. I'm too tired to care right now. Oh, keep doing that, it feels good."

Spike grinned as his hands continued to work their magic, then he stopped, smacking the boy lightly on the back. "Shift your ass over. Want to rid myself of this demon sludge."

Xander turned to the side and allowed Spike to move under the shower head. He watched Spike wash himself, lingering over certain areas, hurriedly scrubbing over others and all the while white suds and bubbles meandered soapy paths down Spike's wet body.

He averted his gaze, swallowing hard, then shoved the vampire out of his way to rid himself of the last of his own soapy lather. He finished, tried to ignore the heat the cool body had absorbed and now gave off like a furnace and exited the shower. He toweled off and quickly pulled on some clothes.

When Spike came out, Xander was parked in front of the tv in the living room despite the difficulty he was having keeping his eyes open.

Spike arched an eyebrow and got a beer from the fridge. "Shouldn't you be sleeping the sleep of the exhausted human boy after slaying and a job well done?"

"Yeah, well. You, me and beds don't have a good track record. I'll just...sit here and you can leave after your beer."

"So sure I'm leaving once I finish this, aren't you? Poor, sad little boy. When will you learn?" Spike sat down beside the brunet and watched him, not the tv.

Xander shifted under the uncomfortable scrutiny, one eyelid twitching. His hand clenched around the beer bottle. "Look, Spike, I really don't feel like doing this with you right now, so be a good little biteless vamp and go back to your dank, moldy old crypt and leave me alone, okay?"

Spike snarled, set down his beer, and then put himself in the boy's lap. He got right in Xander's face. "You've got issues you need to work out, yes, but you don't need to take them out on me. I know what I want, despite the fact I didn't think I really wanted it...but, I do...er, want it." Even Spike began to look puzzled at his own phrasing, but he plunged onward. "Anyway, I know you and what you want and you might think you're confused but you're really not. It's very simple. It all boils down to heat and desire and want. You want me. I want you. It's not that bloody difficult a concept to understand."

Xander blinked, fight just not in him at that moment. He stared blankly at the vampire straddling him, then sighed. "Like I said, Spike, I'm not in the mood for this. I'm tired and I really want to go to sleep now. So, if you wouldn't mind getting the hell off me...I want to head to bed. Alone."

When Spike just peered down at him through thick, dark eyelashes and expressive eyes, he shoved Spike off him and stood up. He turned off the tv, put Spike's half drunk beer in the kitchen regardless of whether the vampire might or might not have been finished with it and went to his bedroom.

He stopped on the threshold, looking back at the still silent vampire, who was now sitting in the spot Xander had just vacated. "Look, Spike, I'm just tired. I-I can't take much more of this crap, all right? I don't want to keep dealing with it. And you might be having fun but I'm not. This is confusing the hell out of me and...I've never had to deal with this shit before so it's freaking me out. I just...you just need to get out and leave me alone."

Spike sniffed, got up and stalked to the apartment door. His hand closed around the door knob but he stopped, back straight, shoulders set, face toward the brightly painted door. He pursed his lips. "You just let me know what the ruddy hell you want, boy, because if you think you can't deal with this, well, think about me."

He started to leave and Xander frowned. "You selfish prick. Where do you get off on complaining about you, you, fucking you?! This has more to do with me than with you. You're not changing orientation after twenty years! I never even thought of doing things with guys before you and now? Well...Mike was hot and I'd fuck him but...you're destroying everything I am, Spike. This shit's supposed to be easier, or something, but it's not."

Spike let go of the knob, turned around, nostrils flaring. He pointed angrily at Xander. "Don't make this all about you, it affects me just as much as it does you, you know! I didn't think bloody twice about your soggy ass before Angelus offered you up to me on a platter all tempting and smelling of arousal and chocolate and really not even then did I think about shagging you because not long after that I left and that was that. So I thought. Then, I came back, got the chip, had to live with your sorry hide and then...well, now we're doing something and I don't know what it is. Haven't been this confused since I was just turned and Dru was telling me one thing and Angelus was telling me another just so he could beat and rape me for disobeying him."

Xander screwed up his face. "Eww. That's way too much information that I didn't want to know about Angel."

Spike snarled, "That's not the point, wanker! The point is, is that you know nothing of confusion, of your world turning upside down so you don't know what's what."

As they sparred back and forth, parrying each other's words with more of their own, they moved progressively closer to one other until there was only a foot of air between them.

Spike poked Xander in the chest, Xander grabbed the finger and bent it back hard enough to hurt the vampire.

"Ow! You little shit!" He held his injured finger in his other fist and growled angrily at the boy.

"Stop fucking talking. I don't want to hear it. I just want to go to bed, dammit!"

"Go to bloody sleep then, you little nancy boy!"

"Fine! I will!" Xander turned on his heel and fled the living room. He slammed his bedroom door and crawled into bed, grumbling under his breath all the while about stupid vampires and their big mouths.

The door flew open, Spike stalked inside and was opening said big mouth again. "Don't you bloody walk away from me when I'm talking to you!"

"You told me to go to bed, you contradicting bastard!"

"Well," Spike looked momentarily taken aback, then recovered and continued on, "You didn't have to do what I said, you know. It's not like you regularly listen to me!"

Xander scoffed, leaning back against his pillows and pulling up his bedclothes. He made himself comfortable. "Whatever, Spike. Get the fuck out. I'm going to bed now whether you like it or not."

Spike moved closer to the bed, then, before Xander could blink, he was on all fours above him. "Oh, I don't think so. We need to have this out right now. It'll fester, and boil, and...do all sorts of other nasty stuff if we let it go."

Xander's eyes widened. "Uh..."

Spike licked his lips, suddenly stopping to smell the roses -- Xander's arousal. His smile was wicked and sinister and everything Xander should've been afraid of but really wasn't.

"Well, well, well, what've we here?" Spike asked silkily, grabbing hold of the evidence of the boy's arousal through the bed sheets and giving it a long, rough stroke. "Are you hard for me, pet?"

Brown eyes blinked rapidly up at the vampire. He didn't move a muscle. Other than the one in his shorts which seemed to have a mind of its own. "Umm..."

In the time it took for Xander to stammer and hem and haw, unable to get out a proper sentence, Spike had undressed himself and positioned himself under the covers on top of him. Spike wriggled, straddled Xander's thighs and seated his naked ass down on Xander's cock.

Xander hissed, biting down on his bottom lip as he bucked up. "Spike..."

"You need to be wearing far less clothing, boy."

They got him naked nearly as quickly as Spike had gotten himself nude.

"Where's the lube?"

Xander panted, hands clenched in the bottom sheet on his mattress as Spike's hand clenched around his cock. "D-Drawer," he said, jerking his head to the left toward the night stand at the side of the bed.


Spike rode Xander into oblivion, eyes glued on the boy's, one hand clenching Xander's shoulder, the other wrapped around his own cock.

It didn't last nearly as long as it probably could have or should have but they were both so worked up they couldn't last.

Spike's muscles quivered -- all of his muscles -- and he threw back his head as he jerked his fist and his cock spurted all over Xander's chest. Xander's hands nearly rent the sheets he was clutching as his entire body bowed and tensed as he came.

When it was all over, neither man nor vampire could talk or move any further than a few inches to separate their bodies.

Once again, they slept together, bodies entwined, resting better than they did alone.


It was deja vu all over again. Xander woke up to a vampire blanket again, only this time he wasn't quite as freaked about it. He still had his reservations and issues with everything but...the only thing he had a problem with was the rush into sex. Again.

He sighed softly, careful not to jostle his bed partner. He'd never learn not to jump into sex, would he? It had happened with all of his relationships.

Did that say something about him?

Before he could really get into that thought, Spike stirred against him. "Xander?"


"You ever wonder why we always fight and then fuck? It's always like that with us. Big fight, then...well...fucking like nobody'd ever believe."

"Huh." Now that Xander thought back on all of their sexual encounters, he could see what Spike was referring to. They really did argue and then fuck. It was like their formula or something.

That was...odd.

"No idea," he finally said, frowning.

Spike snorted. "Rather spectacular fights, we've had. Explosive, arousing...it's like our version of foreplay."

Xander spluttered, laughing. "It really is. I always get so damn hard when I'm arguing with you. It's fucked up."

"As you say, pet," the vampire murmured, breath cooling a trail across Xander's pectoral.

Xander shivered, then grimaced as his bladder made itself known. "Uh...gotta get up."

Spike snuggled closer. "No," he pouted.

"Spike," Xander laughed, pushing ineffectually at the sullen blond. "I really have to pee."

Spike nearly broke his neck moving away from the boy. "Well, that's different, then. Get the hell away from me before you piss the bed. There's a good boy."

Xander rolled his eyes, amused, as Spike burrowed down into the heat he'd left.


After the almost friendly way they'd ended up, Spike and Xander didn't actually see each other for a few days. Xander didn't know if it was by fate or design but...Spike didn't come to his place or the Magic Box.

Not that he missed the sarcastic bastard, but still...

He was making paper airplanes and shooting them off the balcony to annoy Giles when Spike sauntered in, hips rolling seductively as if they'd been made to fuck. And yeah, they probably had.

Xander certainly noticed the vampire's entrance, swallowing hard and barely restraining the strong desire to go down and tackle the blond to the floor and have his wicked way with him.

But he wasn't going to do that. He was going to play it cool. He wasn't going to act like an idiot.

He could, however, look all he wanted as long as he refrained from drooling a puddle that everyone would be sure to notice.

Spike looked up at him, smirked, and licked his lips.

Xander swallowed hard, before affecting an annoyed expression and rolled his eyes. He shot Spike the finger and went back to his airplane making.

Before long, Xander returned to the lower level. He ate a donut, drank some coffee, went to the bathroom, helped with research and then sat in one of the sturdy, uncomfortable wooden chairs, bored out of his mind once he'd run out of things to keep it occupied.

Then Spike became the focal point of his attention -- as if that was much of a surprise. The vampire was seated in a wanton sprawl on the stairs just a couple of feet from Xander's position at the long table. His legs were spread, his pelvis tilted, his upper body leaned back, propped up on his elbows. His pose made sure his chest was well-defined through the tight t-shirt and tiny nipples were pebbled against the thin material. His whole body was on display.

Xander swallowed, mouth watering. He discreetly shifted and wiped a hand over his mouth to make sure he wasn't drooling and accidentally met Spike's eyes.

He nearly choked at the intensity in them, the desire and the fire in them. It was all directed at him.

Christ, he was so damn hard.

He cupped himself and shifted his swelling package to one side. Spike watched him with barely veiled interest and he decided he had to get the fuck out of there before he did something stupid like strip them both naked and fuck himself on Spike's cock right there in front of everyone.

He stared down at the table, willed his erection down and a mere excruciating twenty minutes later his arousal had dissipated enough that he could stand without it being noticeable.

So, he stood.

"Well, I'm gonna go." He faked a yawn. "Tired. Gotta get up early for work. So..."

Willow looked up, a frown lining her forehead. "But...it's only nine-thirty, Xan. Are you sick? I could brew up a healthy vitamin rich potion for ya that'll boost your energy if you want..."

Xander frantically shook his head. "Nah, that's okay, Will. I just need some good, old-fashioned z's. Thanks for the offer."

"Better escort droopy britches or he'll get himself eaten," Spike announced suddenly, standing. No one noticed the way he pulled his duster around in front of him. No one but Xander.

Xander bit his lip and looked away from the evidence of Spike's arousal. He cleared his throat, then made the effort he knew would be expected from him. He scowled as if put upon. "I don't think so. I don't need your help. I'm not a complete moron. I can get myself home in one piece."

Blue eyes blazed. "Oh, I don't think you can, ponce. You're all helpless and weak. A puny human. Not to mention how crappy a fighter you are."

Xander's pulse raced, sweat prickled and itched as it formed in various spots on his body. He nearly gasped with anticipation. "I'm not helpless and I'm not weak, you undead bastard."

"I can take you home if you don't want the living impaired one to do it, Xan," Buffy suddenly offered, eyes volleying between the two of them thoughtfully.

Xander's eyes widened. "No, that's okay. I know you've got more important stuff to do, unlike this useless asshole here."

Spike's eyes narrowed, nostrils flaring. He started for the door without another word. "C'mon, boy, wanna have a bit of action after I get you squared away at home."

Xander hurried after him, nearly panting with desperate need.


As he lay face down, gasping and moaning and writhing and thrusting back into Spike's frenzied, pounding hips, he spread his legs and took all the vampire gave him because he wanted it.

"Oh, you sweet bastard. God, that's good. Fuck me harder, you prick."

"Yeah," Spike panted, grabbing Xander's hips to steady him as he pumped deep into his ass with hard strokes. "Take it like the little bitch you are."

"Oh, God!" Xander squeezed his eyes shut.


As the days went by, they developed a well-rehearsed routine. They sniped and fought while around everyone else, therefore initiating sex without anyone being the wiser -- all but Tara, anyway, who watched with a sparkle in her eye and a slight smile on her lips. Then they went back to Xander's place or Spike's crypt, or hell, sometimes they didn't even make it to either place, they just went at it in alleys or bathrooms or wherever they stopped when they decided they couldn't take not having one another anymore.

"You bastard," Xander breathed, eyes intent on Spike.

"Oh, I'll, er, kill you dead when I get this ruddy chip out. You're going to wish your mum never spawned you..."

"Um, yeah, I'm scared stiff and you're, umm, really stupid..."

"More stuff about your mum and how lack-brained you are and..." Spike gave up all pretense, whining, "Can we just fuck now?"

"God, yes," Xander panted, stepping closer to bring Spike's body against his own with a tug of his arm. "I think that's enough fighting."

They started to tear at each other's clothing, kissing desperately. Xander led Spike to his bedroom and proceeded to fuck him in his shower, then his bed, then against two of the bedroom walls, then on the floor, face crushed into the carpet, then in the easy chair with Spike riding him.

And then Spike took him and fucked him on the couch in the living room, on the coffee table, on the kitchen table, against a kitchen counter, against the front door of the apartment.

They couldn't get enough of each other and didn't even try to fight it anymore.

"Oh, yeah, you little tosser, take it like a man."

"Fuck, Spike."

Xander, it seemed, could resist everything but temptation.

Here Endeth the Story

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