Because of His Lips


"What in God's name are we watching and why are we watching it instead of something good, like, I don't know... Almost anything else."

Spike shifted on the couch, holding the coveted remote in the hand opposite Xander after having tricked him out of it -- Xander had gotten up to get a snack or something and Spike had appropriated it before he knew what had happened.

He cast a sideways glance at him, eyebrow raised. "You can't tell me you don't appreciate the aesthetics of this film, wanker. What's not to like? Car chases, stealing, a hot, blonde Angelina Jolie..."

Xander made a gagging noise. "I only like this movie if I'm drunk, Spike, and I know I'm definitely not drunk. Also, I have no beer in which to get drunk. I like Angelina Jolie as much as the next horny, red-blooded guy, more than, even, but some things just can't save a movie! Gimme the remote, toothless, before someone gets hurt."

"Hell no! I had to suffer through one of them Star shows you like so much. Give me this one bloody thing in exchange. I'll shut up the rest of the evening. Won't hear a peep from me, I swear."

Xander huffed, crossed his arms and scowled at Spike, the TV, and at Spike again. "Why are you so hell-bent on watching this, Spike? Give me the truth and I may consider actually letting you finish this crappy movie. Not that I believe you'll keep your word about shutting your mouth but the amusement value is worth it all on its own."

Spike pursed his lips and sank into the couch. A spring poked him in the ass and he shifted to the side. He considered for a moment about lying and saying he actually liked the film, was a Nicolas Cage and/or Angelina Jolie fan, which wouldn't precisely be a lie and then snorted to himself and decided to hell with it.

His real reason might just get the boy so shocked he'd shut it and let him enjoy the rest of the film.

"All right. I'll give you a good reason. The only reason I suffer through this git's films, is because of his lips."

A good thirty seconds went by.

"I know I'm going to regret this, but, his lips? What the hell do you mean, his lips?"

Xander stared at Spike nonplussed, apparently not having caught what Spike had thrown at him.

Spike grinned wickedly at him, spread his legs and put his arm over the back of the couch, coincidently brushing the back of a warm neck. Xander barely moved, just continued to stare.

"He might take on a lot of shit roles. He might be a right plonker in real life. He might not have any acting talent at all. He might not be all that physically attractive, in the traditional sense. He's got one redeeming quality, though. His lips were made to be wrapped around a cock. Nice and plump and..." Spike shuddered, eyes glazing over a little. His jeans got a little tight. “…Yeah, I’ve had more than a few fantasies about that plank of a man, just because of those lips…”

Beside him, Xander's heart pounded and a distressed noise came out of his throat. Sounded something like one of those dinosaurs from Jurassic Park.

"What?!" He leapt from the couch, pointing at Spike, aghast, shocked, and flippin' hilarious in his hysterics. "What the hell?!"

Spike smirked up at him and cupped himself obscenely. Xander gawped at him.

"Don't tell me you can't picture it, Harris. Nice plump lips wrapped tight 'round your hard and leaking cock... Bet he'd get some great suction in with that big mouth of his, don't you?"

Xander's mouth opened and closed at least half a dozen times, before he threw up his hands, turned, without another word, and slammed into the bathroom. The lock engaged and Spike was left blessedly alone.

For the first time Spike recalled, Xander Harris didn’t have a come back and all was quiet.

"Ah, that's more like it," Spike murmured watching for a moment with a frown before changing the channels. It really was an atrocity of a film that Spike really couldn't stand even with both actors' plump, cocksucker's lips so tantalizingly pink and...

He adjusted himself and flipped back. To hell with it. Nothing else was on, anyway.

The End

The movie in question is "Gone in Sixty Seconds", which I actually haven't seen, so take my use of it with a grain of salt, but having seen the promotionals for it in the past, popped into my head when this idea did. I think Spike would enjoy the 'aesthetics' quite well, don't you?