Rating: PG for that boys playing with boys thing
Feedback: Mys has decided that she actually likes FB, so… constructive crit is fine, just be prepared for Mys to defend/explain her choices, and try not to do any permanent damage, k.
Disclaimer:Just playing with the pretty kittens. Unfortunately, they are not mine, but I will gladly groom and bathe them before sending them back home to Daddy (aka Joss/Mutant Enemy/et al).

Five Things Spike Regularly Lied About
the One Thing He Couldn't

Cobalt Mystic

Wet Towels

He hated it, ever since the basement he’d hated it. The sickly sweet smell of crumpled wet towels- the smell, real or remembered, made him shiver.

“Hells, Spike, how many times do I have to tell you,” the mortal shook the cool, slimy piece of terrycloth at his vamp, “don’t leave ’em on the floor!”

Spike raised his eyebrow in what was clearly Spike-speak for ‘You don’t really expect me to be bothered, do you’ while silently the blonde thanked whatever powers looked over lovestruck demons and blessed them with loving mortals who, however grudgingly, picked up his moldy towels.

Congealed Blood

“Spike, I know you think the bagged stuff needs texture,” Xander quipped, setting a heavily blood encrusted mug to soak, “but most people gave up eating scabs by the time they were seven, let alone a hundred and forty-seven.”

“True, pet,” the blonde drawled, “but, then again, most people forget to rehydrate. Gotta get it to that congealed gelatine stage,” he added with the confident voice of experience. Of course, Spike carefully left out that it didn’t matter how moist you got the blood, it still stuck in your teeth like string taffy- and taffy was easier to get out.

The Crypt

“Why Spike?”

“Need my own digs now don’t I, pet. Bad enough ‘m your lot’s lap dog, not gonna top it off by bein’ a kept vamp. Might be chipped, but still got m’ pride.”

Sighing, “Fine, but the crypt?”

“Got a rep too, remember.” Spike growled at himself for needing to fight so hard. Truth was he wanted to move in with his boy, wanted to be near that warm body and spirit always and to hells with how it looked to the Scoobies and the rest of the demon community.
Maybe, next time Xander asked, he’d give in.


“Why am I watching this tripe again?” Spike groused at his lover.

“Because you secretly love it and you know Delenn is hot.”

“Hmph,” the vamp snorted.

Xander curled into Spike’s side, purring, “Come on Blondie, you know it’s true.”

“I don’t know any such thing,” he countered, admiring the elegant features of the woman on screen. She was a beauty; reminded him of Dru, only sane. Still, didn’t mean he was gonna admit to liking it, though maybe he shouldn’t argue so much. Besides, it meant he got to snuggle with his Xander- not that the Big Bad snuggled.


“Spike? What’s this?” Xander held a small elegant paper in his hand.

“What’s it look like, luv?” The vampire feigned disinterest in the piece of handcrafted linen parchment torn from one of “William’s” writing journals.

“It looks like my lover’s feeling romantic,” the man cooed softly.

“’m not. Just found it lyin’ ‘round. Thought I threw it, if ya must know.”

“Oh, my mistake, then.” Xander pulled the large leather scrapbook Willow had gotten specifically for these occasions off the shelf. Carefully, he placed the newest piece of ‘litter’ in the book alongside its’ comrades, then thoroughly kiss his vamp.


“Don’t see why you want me there; just be in the way.”

“Phooey! You belong there,” the redhead snapped. “Besides, we all know how much you love him- you can stop denying it.”

“What are you on about, Red?”

The young witch rolled her eyes, “Right, well when you finish your tour of Egypt, he’s in room 216.”

Spike watched as the girl turned to leave, then called, “Willow? He really okay?”

She turned back to the vampire, putting her hand on his shoulder, “Yes, but he’d be better if you were there.”

The blonde nodded. “Give us a lift?”

The End

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