So what the hell? He stared at Dawn, who was leaning over the front seat of the car, a wad of damp fast-food napkins in one hand and a bottle of water in the other. Spike was next to her, holding a flashlight.
"What the hell is going on?" Xander tried to yell but found he couldn't - his throat hurt, and he felt a little - dizzy. "What did you do to me! Don't you dare hurt Dawn, you undead freak!" Spike rolled his eyes - shot a look at Dawn.
"I told you, Niblet. You owe me five bucks."
"Xander, why do you have to be such a - such a jerk!" Dawn pouted, and Xander goggled at her.
"What? We've been kidnapped by Fangless and I'm being a jerk? What the hell -"
"We haven't been kidnapped - you have. We're running away." Once again Xander could do nothing but stare. His mind reeled - and boggled - and -
And I think it's shutting down. This is just - insane. Running away? What is this, an After School Special? Xander lifted his hand to wipe his face and realized he couldn't. There were manacles around his wrists, with chains that led down to his - Xander bent over a little, squinting. Yep, manacles around his ankles. And a short length of chain locking it all to the floor of the car via a sturdy stainless bolt.
"I'm chained to the fucking car."
"Wondered how long it would take you to notice." Spike's voice was definitely smirky this time, and Xander sat up and shot him an evil glare - looked around. The car had dark windows - really dark windows. And rather ratty leather seats and the handle of an ax sticking out from under the driver's seat. And it somehow looked...familiar.
"The DeSoto?" Xander asked, and Spike grinned.
"Yup. Willy had it in a lot for me - just had to go pick it up." Xander nodded - wrenched suddenly on the chains and glared when Spike laughed. "You can't break 'em, Harris. Those might not hold me but they'll hold you just fine."
"How do you feel, Xander?" Dawn looked concerned and Xander felt his mind boggling again.
"How do I feel? Dawn, pardon me very much, but that is the stupidest question you could ask me."
"Well pardon me for caring! Spike thought he might have given you too much of that stuff -"
"What stuff?" Xander asked, and his voice was deadly quiet. Spike widened his eyes at him in a parody of fear. He looked like a manga character when he did that and Xander suppressed a wildly inappropriate urge to laugh.
"Don't get all threatening, Harris. I just gave you a little shot of sleeping dust. Had to get you out of your place and into the car, didn't I? Didn't want to have to explain or listen to you squawk." Xander stared at him - at Dawn, who took a swig of the water.
This is insanity. This is...my life. Jesus.