Prompt: #89 Hot Seat (tamingthemuse)
Summary: The girls land Xander in the hot seat
Disclaimer: I don't own. I wouldn't be broke if I did. No money being made, no offense intended.
A/N: Don't ask, I don't know.
"What colour hair do you like?"
"How tall should she be?"
"Should it be he or she?"
"Fat or thin?"
"Does colour matter?"
"Breast or penis size matter?"
"If it's a guy, are you a top or a bottom?"
"Where would you go for a first date?"
"Do you have sex on the first date?"
"Are you willing to move?"
"Does species matter?"
Xander held still as the questions flew over him. He desperately wanted to squirm, but that would be seen as a sign of weakness and they'd all pounce and start asking worse questions. Somehow he'd let himself be talked into going on a demonic dating program. All the girls in his life thought he needed a love life and set up the first interview without his knowledge. Now, two weeks later, despite all his protests, he was stuck sitting beneath sweltering lights in the hot seat as a flock of people asked him questions on what he wanted in a lover. He could see the cameras panning and zooming in and tried to keep his expression suitably blank and not let his overwhelming panic show.
"Any more questions?" the announcer asked the crowd. When no one replied he turned to Xander with a slimy smile. "Well, let's get started with the answers."
Xander managed a sick smile in return and started to desperately wish he was just about anywhere else. Knowing there was nowhere to run to, he began answering the multitude of questions, blushing at the perverse nature of some of them. Half an hour later and all the question answered, Xander was finally released as the announcer reminded the audience to tune back in next week to see the first dates they would be sending Xander on. Xander's sickly smile turned into a grimace of fear.
Hurrying out of the studio Xander sighed with relief when he noticed the familiar platinum topped figure leaning against the building smoking. Spike dropped his cigarette and reached for Xander, pulling him close. Going limp, Xander allowed his lover to cradle him, letting all the tension the show had given him flow out. Safe once again in Spike's arms, Xander let the shaking he had been repressing out.
"You all right?" Spike asked quietly, pulling back slightly to meet Xander's eyes.
"Fine, now," Xander smiled softly, hugging Spike tightly. "Why did I agree to this again?"
"To shut the girls up," shrugged Spike. "We thought it would keep them from figuring out we're together."
"I'm having second thoughts about this though," admitted Spike, as he started them walking home.
"Second thoughts?" Xander echoed, wrinkling his brow in confusion.
Spike looked a little sheepish. "Just hit me that you'll be going on dates with other people. Don't really fancy the idea. I don't really want to you to continue."
"There's a contract though," protested Xander, even though he liked the idea of not continuing.
"Yeah, but you didn't sign it," Spike reminded him.
"Oh, yeah," Xander blinked. "What'll we tell the girls though?"
"Tell them someone had a prior claim."
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