Word Count: 342
Summary: Spike contemplates Xander when he’s asleep – mood piece
Rating: I can’t believe this, but G
Disclaimer: Not mine. Don’t sue.

In the Dark


I watch him sleep.

It's rather girly, I know, but after a long day at the site, and then a long night fighting whatever beasties are trying to take over the world this time, he's exhausted. Too tired for me to even think about trying to start something. So I get him to eat something, and then I send him to bed. Sometimes I think he's out before his head hits the pillow.

I watch him sleep.

He's no slayer, no witch. He doesn't have years of training in the occult like the watcher. He's certainly no vampire, no werewolf. All he has is heart, a willingness to put himself on the line, and stubbornness to put a mule to shame.

I watch him sleep.

When he's sleeping, he looks much younger. The concerns, the fears, the anguish and pain that is living on a hellmouth fall away, leaving him to look like I imagine he did before the first time the Master tried to rise. When he's awake, he's always worried and trying to hide it. In his sleep, he finally relaxes.

I watch him sleep.

We're surrounded by people watching. Watching to see me fall back into bad habits, to see him fail, to see us break up or kill each other. Not one of them are watching to support us - the closest that they get is the Slayer giving him a stake while glaring at me. None of them trust me or understand this thing we have. I don't either.

I watch him sleep.

But in the silence of the night, I can admit to myself what I can't admit in the light. I can admit that I love him. That he fills a hole that had been torn when Angelus got his soul, and been ripped back open when my Black Goddess left me. That he... gives me something, answers a need in me that I didn't even know I had. I can only hope that I do the same thing for him.

He wakes.

"Come to bed, Spike. It's late."

The End

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