Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Stargate: Atlantis Fusion!
[info]tamingthemuse Prompt: #206 – When?
Pairing: Spander
Rating: PG-13 for some language
Summary: Still, he kind of loved Sheppard, because being put on a team with not only Buffy but his best friend as well? That was just epically awesome in a way he couldn’t fully describe.
Notes: This is really roughly written and will probably be re-done at a later point, but I had to finish it in time for the prompt! Also, I might turn this into a series, might not. Thoughts?

Xander Harris, Space Explorer


When Sgt. Xander Harris joined the Atlantis expedition, he wasn’t expecting to be surrounded by crazy people. He should have known better, after all it had been his best friend that had pulled the needed strings to even get him into the program. While Jack O’Neill might have been a total bad ass that Xander worshipped from a safe distance, not even he could say no to Willow Rosenberg when she wanted something, even if that something was a somewhat lazy person like Xander.

Of course, when you were relying on a single person to rewrite the entire computer system of a distance city in another galaxy to make it compatible with the SGC’s new servers, it was sound thinking to give her what she wanted just so she doesn’t use her crazy techie voodoo to blow the place up in retaliation. It also helped that he had a small, but still noticeable ATA gene.

This led to Xander standing on an honest to God spaceship, stuck in hyper drive, as he watched his fellow soldiers try to get the attention of a petite blonde who looked more like a cheerleader than a Lieutenant. He debated joining in on the wholesome flirtation, but watching her literally bare her teeth at one overly brave Marine made him reconsider that idea. Instead, he bounced over to her and sat down, “Hello! I’m Xander, welcome to the Daedalus. Are you joining us in Atlantis?”

She eyed him a moment, before actually smiling. “Yeah, I am. I’m Buffy Summers.”

“Well, I’ve never been there, but I hear it’s lovely this time of year,” he informed her. “So, considering the following you have, how is it I’ve just now spotted you when we’ve been flying through space for about a week now?”

“I’ve been hanging out with the anthropologists,” Buffy told him. Then she quickly added, “Not that I like that sort of thing, but I discovered an old friend of the family is coming to Atlantis, too. Giles is probably half-buried under books as we speak. He doesn’t believe in the devil spawn known as the computer.”

“Has he met my friend Willow, yet?” Xander asked. “She’s married to her computer.”

“Probably not, if that’s the case. She’d probably scare him,” Buffy replied. “When are we getting there? I’m starting to seriously get bored.”


Xander was used to his Commanding Officers being stern and, well, assholes. John Sheppard was anything but stern. Xander wasn’t sold on him not being an asshole, though, because there had to be something negative about the guy aside from his hair laughing in the face of gravity. Still, he kind of loved Sheppard, because being put on a team with not only Buffy but his best friend as well? That was just epically awesome in a way he couldn’t fully describe.

He didn’t really care for their other team member, Riley Finn, though. The guy looked too wholesome, which set off Xander’s creep-o-meter. Xander was pleased when Buffy told him that it was a temporary move until Buffy was used to traveling through the gate, since Riley had been a member of the SGC for a couple of years by then.

Xander had sort of hoped they would get Giles on their team for diplomatic purposes, but he figured the guy was kind of aged and wouldn’t be able to run very fast if the Wraith showed up. Though, if someone like Rodney McKay, who claimed to have a variety of medical problems, could handle stargate travel, then Xander didn’t see why Giles being old and stuffy should have hindered him.

The problem, however, came with Willow and guns. “I don’t see why I have to learn to shoot a gun! I don’t like guns. They’re wrong and hurt people.”

“You go off-world, you learn to shoot,” Riley informed her.

“Can’t I carry a taser, instead?” Willow begged, looking at the gun in her hand like it was a cockroach or an E-Machine computer.

“It would take more than one taser to bring down a Wraith, Wills,” Xander said. “Learn this one thing for me? I let you teach me how to hack into various banks nation wide, the least you can do is pick up a gun to protect yourself in thanks.”

“You taught him what?” Riley demanded, looking horrified.

Xander rolled his eyes. “I never used the knowledge.”

“When are you going to teach me that?” Buffy asked. “Because, let me tell you, I could use the money to buy some fashionable attire. These uniforms aren’t very becoming.”


Their first mission went like a dream, which told Xander that something bad was going to happy soon. He glanced up at his CO as they entered the city, one shiny trade agreement for some plant that resembled corn clutched in Buffy’s fist, and noticed the expression of uncertainty on the man’s face. It was tainted by a hint of disappointment, because it was a known fact that every gate team had a hellish first mission.

“Don’t worry, sir, I’m sure things will blow up in our face on our next mission,” he offered as he passed.

“Well, it’s good to be positive,” Sheppard told him.

Of course, that meant that their next mission led them to be captured. They all kneeled before what looked to be a throne where a pale guy in leather pants sat with his legs draped in a way that clearly encouraged all who glanced over to eyeball his crotch. Xander had to wonder how the man managed to get the leather to look so shiny when it was clear the town they had arrived in wasn’t amazingly advanced as far as technology went.

“So, I’m getting flashbacks to spaghetti westerns, how about you?” Xander asked, turning to Buffy, who was struggling with the ropes binding her.

“That and a dash of Victorian fashion,” she agreed as a slender, dark headed woman danced into the room. “Add a bit of psych ward flair to that, as well.”

“You’ve trespassed on our property,” the man informed them.

“We’re explorers,” Buffy tried to explain. “We were hoping for trade. If you’re not interested in anything we have to offer, maybe you can just let us go.”

“Maybe we should start with introductions?” Willow offered with a slight smile that held a hint of pain. Xander frowned, hoping the bindings weren’t cutting off Willow’s circulation. “My name is Dr. Willow Rosenberg and—“

“What’s your name?” the man asked, looking directly at Buffy and ignoring the rest of them.

“Lt. Buffy Summers,” she said. “And you are?”

“Angel,” he replied.

Xander snorted.

“I probably won’t need to talk to the rest of you,” Angel said, shooting Xander a disdainful look. “Put the others in the dungeons, Drusilla, and keep them separated. Buffy, however, can remain with me.”

The slender woman swayed over to them and grabbed Xander’s arm in a strong grip. He watched as the others were pulled to their feet and decided that maybe trying to escape at this point would be a bad idea. Besides, if Buffy remained free then there was a good chance she could sweet talk her way into getting Angel to let them go. Xander could hope, at any rate.

Drusilla was insane, no doubt about that. She kept whispering things about a white jungle cat and how Xander would hopefully be his new prey. She giggled when he informed her that he didn’t taste too good.

He found himself thrown into a small room, where the only light came from the tiny window on the door and another high on the opposite wall. He stumbled and fell to his knees, catching himself before he could fall. Taking in a deep breath, Xander ignored the crooning sounds Drusilla was making from the other side of the door and took a look around his new home.

His eyes immediately landed on what looked to be two glowing orbs, which he quickly realized were eyes being accented by the dim light. He couldn’t tell if they belong to a human or an animal, though, thanks to the darkness.

“Umm, hello?” he whispered. He was met with a low sound that vaguely resembled a growl. Xander gulped and whined under his breath, “When am I going to catch a break?”


“Bloody hell, will you stop trying to hide in the damn corner like a pansy?” the somewhat short and compact man with radioactive blonde hair demanded. Really, Xander didn’t think he had room to talk, since he had been hiding when Xander first arrived and no one had growled at him. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

“Why do you sound British?” Xander asked, slowly standing. He really wished he had a weapon, but Drusilla and her merry band of guards had easily disarmed him when they were captured.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m from Northside.”

“What’s Northside?”

The man stared at him, before narrowing his eyes. “The North part of the planet, you moron. Where are you from? And how did you manage to piss off the ponce and get thrown in here?”

“I came through the stargate with my trading team,” he said. At the guy’s blank look he clarified, “The Ring of the Ancestors. That Drusilla chick started talking about stars and dolls and something about slaying. I guess she made sense to Angel, because he ordered us to be captured. He’s got my team leader in his throne room right now. Which, let me tell you, isn’t a good thing. Buffy does not take people trying to fondle her lightly and from what I could tell, that’s what Angel has planned.”

“Right, well, then,” the man grinned, “My name’s Spike and I think I’m going to help you escape.”

“Uh, Sgt. Xander Harris,” he offered, “and why would you do that?”

“Because if you get out, then I get out,” Spike told him. “Also, you’re taking me home with you.”

“What are you, a pet?” Xander demanded.

The look Spike gave him belonged in a porn movie. “I could be if you want me to.”

“Oh, don’t even go there, buddy,” he said, holding up his hands as though Spike were in the process of attacking him. He could handle the occasional guy flirting with him, but he’d never had a guy give him a look that literally begged for physical touch before. He tried to remind himself that he was in the military. He couldn’t have thoughts like that. “What did you do to get in here, anyway? I’m not letting a murderer into my city.”

He didn’t bother to add that in the end it would be Buffy’s choice on whether Spike returned with them, and then there was a good chance that Sheppard would finally show an emotion aside from sarcasm and kill them all for bringing an alien home. Not that Sheppard had any right to say anything, considering he did it all the time.

“Angel’s never liked me, ever since Drusilla got it into her scrambled brain that I’m some kind of poet of her heart or some such nonsense,” Spike replied with an eye roll. “Then I kind of stole a few things and got caught in Drusilla’s bed one too many times, so I’m being punished. It’s a personal vendetta is what it is, but he’s claiming I’m part of the Northern raiding parties that have been ransacking Southside for the past five years. Like I’d do something stupid as that. Got enough problems with the Wraith breathing down our bloody necks, now don’t I?”

Xander stared at him a moment, before sighing. “Well, when can you get us out of here?”


Getting them all free was amazingly simple, thanks to Spike’s ability to wrap Drusilla around his little finger. After a moment of murmuring to her through the door, she agreed to release them on the off-hand chance that their being free would lead to violence and, apparently, she had a thing for blood. Xander didn’t question it, because he knew doing so would probably ruin their good luck.

It turned out that the difficult part was getting to Buffy, who was no longer in the throne room. Spike led them through a series of hallways, his leather jacket billowing behind him. Xander stood back, hovering over Willow, as Spike and Riley incapacitated most of the guards they came across. It was amusing to see, because it was clear the two men hated each other immediately and were competing against each other in a show of manliness.

Xander was thankful he had grown up with females as friends that had taught him the stupidity of testosterone induced competition, because he had a feeling if he had tried to join in he would have failed miserably.

In the end, in typical Buffy fashion, she didn’t need their help at all. They found her kicking her way free of about five guards, Angel having run away to defend himself. Xander thought about helping, but when she flung one in his direction, nearly knocking him into the wall in the process, he decided it would be smarter to wait outside.

“It’s about time you guys show up,” Buffy said, leading them down the hallway. She shot Spike a glance and turned a raised eyebrow toward Riley. “Who is this?”

“He was in Harris’ cell,” Riley replied. “Apparently he was the one that got us out. There’s a good chance it was a trap and the enemy is waiting in ambush.”

“Buffy, I know it sounds crazy, but I trust him,” Xander piped up, ignoring Riley’s look of disgust. Really, the guy needed to find a way to relax. Atlantis was not sitting well with Riley Finn, from what Xander could see. “He just wants to get away from Angel and off this planet.”

“Wait, please tell me you didn’t agree to give him sanctuary,” Buffy begged. “Damn it, Xander! Sheppard could have my rank for shit like this. I’m not going to bring a potentially dangerous person into our city just because he helped rescue us.”

“You people don’t show your appreciation at all, do you?” Spike said snidely.

“Why does he sound British?” Buffy asked, blinking at Spike in shock.

“I’ve been wondering the same thing,” Willow said. “You know…the linguists would have a heyday with him. We could claim he’s…an off world sample for their study. He did help us, Buffy. I really don’t think we should just leave him here.”

“Oi, I am not some bloody experiment!” Spike protested.

“Do you want to leave with us?” Xander asked.

“I’d think that would be obvious, pet,” Spike replied. “I’m not sticking around here and having Drusilla get all pouty about the lack of death. She’ll want to torture me to make up for it.”

“Then take what you can get, blondie,” he said. “That being said, I think we should worry about finding our weapons. Not all of us can kill a guy using drop-kicks like Buffy the Slayer Girl over there.”

“Buffy the Slayer,” she repeated, with a grin. “I like that. When can I get that stenciled on my locker?”


Sheppard was clearly parts annoyed and parts amused, so Xander left their debriefing with the satisfaction that his CO wasn’t going to slaughter them all. Dr. Weir on the other hand wouldn’t kill him, but Xander had a feeling that his team was going to be getting the bottom of the barrel missions for a few months.

He decided to grab some lunch and, in a moment of quick thinking, grabbed enough for Spike as well. He found the room that they had stuffed the man in easily enough and, thanks to some smooth talking, got the guards to let him enter alone. He thought the door shut behind him, inwardly grinning over how cool that was, and turned to see Spike draped across the bed. Xander paused, swallowing as he took in the sight of Spike’s lean body.

Spike had taken off his coat and was wearing a red sleeveless tunic and dark leather pants that contrasted well with his pale skin. He had his eyes closed, arms raised above his head and legs crossed at the ankle. He looked like a damn model and Xander absolutely hated him for it. Mostly, because Xander couldn’t stop himself from finding the guy sexy.

“It’s not nice to stare,” Spike said, smirking.

“I, uh, brought you food,” Xander stammered, taking a few steps forward. He waited until Spike had sat up—which he did in a graceful move that had Xander envious—before he handed the tray over.

“I don’t think I can eat this much, pet,” Spike said in amusement.

“Half of it’s for me, dumbass,” he automatically replied and then winced at the insult. “I mean, umm.”

Spike laughed; a sound that was rich and dark and, wow, Xander really needed to stop thinking. “Are you going to sit down or not?”

“Right, sitting now.” Xander sat on the edge of the bed after realizing there really wasn’t any other place to sit. He wasn’t sure how he felt being so close to Spike. He’d never really reacted to someone physically like this before, like he was being drawn into a creature that had their own gravitational pull. He cleared his throat and snatched his plate off the tray. “So, what’s it like being an alien?”

“Seeing how you lot aren’t really from around here and occupy a city that’s not yours, doesn’t that make you the aliens?” Spike countered.

“Well, if you want to be particular about it.”

Their conversation continued on in a similar way, filled with light digs at one another and the occasional admittance to personal information. Xander had never had a conversation that went so smoothly. Nor had he ever met someone that could meet him word for word when it came to light insults. It was refreshing, but also more of a reminder of why he shouldn’t have been there. This sort of behavior went against everything he had been taught as a member of the United States military, and before at the gracious hand of his father.

“Do you think they’ll let me out anytime soon?” Spike asked, setting his tray to the side and shifting on the bed, incidentally bring him closer to Xander in the process.

“They’ll have to do a physical and Dr. Weir will want to interview you,” he said, ignoring the nervous taint in his voice. From Spike’s smirk he could tell that the other man had noticed. “I’m not sure what they’ll do with you, to be honest.”

“Right, well, in the meantime I better find something to entertain myself with, hadn’t I?” Spike asked, leaning even closer into Xander’s personal bubble.

“Oh?” he squeaked.

Spike chuckled, his hot breath hitting Xander’s cheek. “We’ve been flirting since we met, pet, and don’t you bother denying it. So, I think the question is, when are you going to get the knackers to kiss me?”


Xander was officially a coward. Shit. He couldn’t believe he had actually run away from Spike when the man had asked him that question.

“What’s gotten into you?” Willow asked, peering over her laptop at him with narrowed eyes.

“Nothing. Nothing is in me!” he insisted, and then grimaced as he realized what he had said. Yeah, because that didn’t sound guilty at all. “Seriously, Wills, nothing is going on.”

“Uh huh,” she said, clearly in disbelief. There was a moment of silence. “So, how’s Spike?”

“How should I know?” he demanded. “What am I, his personal guard or something? Just because I insisted on bringing him with us doesn’t mean he’s my responsibility. Oh, no, I have no control over what he does or says. Especially what he says.”

Willow let out a long sigh and closed her laptop, turning her full attention onto him. “What happened?”

“What makes you think something happened?”

“Xander Harris, stop being evasive and tell me what Spike did!” Willow snapped.

Xander sat there a moment and then stood. “Come on, if we’re having this conversation it’s going to be in my room, okay?”

Two hours later, Willow was sitting on his bed giggling like a school girl. Xander hated her, he really did. She waved her hand. “I’m sorry, but seriously? He asked you to kiss him?”

“Well, sort of,” he admitted. “I kind of ran away before I knew if he was serious or not, but really! He was teasing me, right? He had to have been, because guys like that just don’t flirt with guys like me.”

“Xander,” Willow said with a smile, “you are a wonderful person that anyone would be lucky to have in their life.”

“Umm, thanks,” he mumbled. He drew in a deep breath and sat down next to her. “That doesn’t change the fact that I’m in the military and therefore subject to the wonderful world of DADT.”

Willow looked to be fighting back a smile. “And if you weren’t?”

“I’d…” Xander shrugged. “Hell, I’d probably hide for a few more days and then go humiliate myself by jumping him, why?”

“When are you going to learn to fully read the contracts you sign?”


Maybe Xander wasn’t a coward. He didn’t bother to hide his happy grin as he bounced down the hallway, ignoring the look both Buffy and Sheppard gave him as he passed. He wasn’t a coward, but he was kind of clueless, he’d admit to that much. Like Willow had deftly pointed out, Xander wasn’t known for his reading skills.

Apparently, silly rules such as Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell didn’t apply to the Atlantis expedition, thanks to some crafty working by Dr. Weir and the fact that there were so many cultures in one location. It had been a crystal clear statement hidden amongst so much legalese that Xander had completely missed it when he had signed his life away to go to another galaxy. Granted, he had been so busy thinking about space ships and aliens to really take in any of the contract, but he thought that they should have made it a bit more obvious.

The point, however, was that Xander didn’t have to worry about hiding behind some stupid man’s man type military rule.

He grabbed dinner and made his way to Spike’s quarters, whistling softly to himself. He was almost there when a hand landed on his shoulder. “Ah, Sgt. Harris—“

“Giles, come on, man,” he said with a cheerful smile, “call me Xander.”

“Xander, then,” Giles replied. “I was wondering if you’d be willing to speak to their prison—err, rather, guest about something for me.”

“They are kind of treating him like a prisoner, aren’t they?” Xander said.

“A bit, though what little time I’ve spent in his presence I can’t say that I blame them,” Giles said. “Regardless, Elizabeth has given me permission to create a new database of sorts of the cultures in the Pegasus galaxy, to correct some of the older information in the Ancients’ database. I already have Wesley interviewing Ronon and I thought I’d take Spike for myself. To interview, that is.”

“Right…well, I’ll ask him.” He held up his food laden tray. “I’m heading his way right now, actually.”

Xander bid the older man farewell and continued on his way. He got past the guards as easily as before and found Spike standing by the window, looking bored with a frown on his face. At that point, Xander’s composed self vanished and he felt like throwing up. Was he seriously considering this?

“Hey, I, uh, brought dinner?” he offered.

“I didn’t think I’d see you again,” Spike commented, sauntering over. The man’s face was closed off, which didn’t help Xander’s self-confidence any. “You just come to feed me or is there something else you want?”

“Well, Giles wants to do his anthropology thing with you later,” Xander replied. “Aside from that, I, well…I wanted to apologize.”

“Oh, really,” Spike asked, raising an eyebrow and giving Xander a look that, really, should have been illegal. Xander sighed. “Well, get on with it then. I’m all ears.”

“I shouldn’t have left—“

“I’d more say you ran.”

“Can I get on with this, please?” Xander demanded, glaring. He set down the tray of food and continued, “Anyway, I shouldn’t have left the other day. I should have stayed and explained a few things to you. Only, I found out that I don’t need to explain everything, because what I thought to be true isn’t true at all!”

Spike stared at him a moment. “Was I supposed to understand that?”

“Damn it, okay, fine,” he huffed, stepping forward. “If I’m really bad at this, don’t blame me. I’ve never done this with a guy before.”

“Well, then…” Spike leered and proceeded to grab Xander by the arms and drag him forward. Xander gulped and had a millisecond to question his decision before soft lips were pressed against his own. He made a sound in the back of his throat before parting his lips, deepening the kiss.

He pulled back and sucked in a sharp breath when he noticed how close their bodies were pressed together. He could feel the heat radiating off of Spike and wasn’t sure if it was because the guy’s inner temperature was higher or if Xander just noticed it because it was Spike. He suspected it was the latter. He met Spike’s blue eyes, before carefully leaning close again and gently meeting Spike’s mouth with his own in yet another kiss.

They kept the kiss soft and almost gentle, which surprised Xander. He hadn’t spent all that much time in Spike’s company, but he knew enough about the man to assume that he would kiss in a way that matched his personality. He hadn’t been expecting gentle.

“Mmm, knew you’d be good for this, pet,” Spike whispered against his lips.

“What do you mean?” Xander asked, frowning. Spike tilted his head in question, looking for a moment like a large cat. “It’s just…that doesn’t sound very flattering.”

“Why not?” Spike asked with a laugh. “I just meant that I thought about kissing you the moment I first saw you. I knew you’d be good at it. No one that uses their mouth as much as you do could be a bad kisser.”

“Oh, well, yeah, maybe,” he replied, blushing. “When you put it that way, anyway. So…kissing.”

Spike brushed their lips together briefly. “Yeah?”

“We should eat,” he suddenly announced, trying to step back. Spike held him tightly, hands on his hips. “Umm…”

“The food can wait. Why are you in such a hurry?” Spike grinned. “Don’t you want to be able to tell all your friends that you made out with an alien?”

“Is this all this is?” Xander asked, looking away. “Because I don’t do so well when it comes to one time things. I tend to latch on.” He could feel Spike’s eyes on him and had to fight down the urge to cringe and pull away. “Just so you know.”

“I don’t play, pet.” Spike paused. “Well, okay, that’s not true. I play, but I play for keeps. Got me?”

Xander finally raised his eyes, meeting Spike’s and reading what he saw there. “Yeah, I think I do. So…when do we get back to the kissing?”

The End

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