Shhhhhhh he was saying, a non-word, a nonsense word, a word that, when they were together like this, meant so much.
Shhhhhh. Yes, she’s dead, and there’s nothing any of us can do about it.
Shhhhhh. Yes, we failed her, and no power on earth can ever change that fact.
Shhhhhh. Yes, we buried her, put her in the cold ground and shoveled dirt down on top upon the coffin lid so that we would never lay eyes on it again, and we stood by in our grown-up clothes with our grown-up, solemn faces and pretended that it was all perfectly normal to arrive with her and leave without her.
Shhhhhh. Yes, we failed to do the decent thing and die with her, because someone somewhere, maybe God, maybe the Powers that Be, maybe cold hard merciless fate decreed that we must live to remember that she doesn’t.
Shhhhhh. Yes, we have to keep going. Keep moving, keep eating, keep fucking, keep fighting, keep going. Because someone, somewhere, decreed that this is the way things work.
Shhhhhh. Yes, the pain is unmanageable, insurmountable, unreal. So we bang out heads and our bodies against each other over and over again for lack of better ways to cope. This is our lives now, crazy as it is. So shhhhhhhh my lover, hold me close, and close your eyes against the hard, harsh world. Bury yourself inside me and swear you'll never depart. This is all we have left, so lay your body on top of mine, screw your eyes tight, and lets forget for a few more minutes that the world has lost all meaning.