Betaed By: [info]iadorespikeThanks for the fantastic beta
Fandom:BtVS
Pairing: Spike/Xander
Rating/warnings: NC-17; Violence; Non-con; Bloodplay
Characters: Not ours, Joss' - we're just playin' with 'em
Concrits: welcome in comments
Published March 2006



Dark Evil Fairy Tale


by

Nash
and
Virtual Personal

Spike kissed Xander as he walked him backwards to the front door. He hated this hour of the day, the time Xander had to leave for work... it was just like when Boy would have to leave for school.

He felt Xander's strong arms go around him as he got one last heated kiss, then the brunet pulled away and opened the door. He hesitated... just like he did every morning.

"I'll be here when you get home," Spike gravely promised ... just as he always did. It was their ritual now. His reward was a genuine smile before the door closed.


~*~*~*~*~


A few hours later, there was a knock on the door. Smiling, Spike got up and headed for the door. It was likely Xander. Sometimes he rushed home during his lunch hour on those days when they knew Spike would need to feed.

Maybe his hand was so shaky with anticipation he couldn't work the keys. Spike had a rather smug look on his face as he tugged the door open.

"Don't just stand there staring at me, invite me in." Kurn's lips twisted into a smile, "Missed me so much, you're speechless?"

Spike stared at his nemesis. The shock of thick black hair, the small forehead, and those dull black eyes were the stuff of his nightmares. "Why... how... you're big," he said, feeling his stomach sink. This wasn't good.

"Overlords have perks," Kurn reminded him, walking inside and closing the door. "Did you find your stupid Boy?"

Biting his lip, Spike put his hand on the doorknob. Kurn braced his hand on the door and leaned his weight on it, stopping him from opening it.

"Your turn to answer questions. How did you make him remember? Why didn't he deny your existence? By all rights, you should be part of the vast nothingness." Sharp teeth protruded from his mouth, "Answer me."

"I... he didn't believe at first. Twice he said I wasn't real. But then, when I showed him my fairy form, he believed... he remembered." Spike reminded himself that his servitude was over, that this overlord fairy held no power over him. "What are you doing here, Kurn? I want you to leave."

"We all want a lot of things." Reaching out, Kurn softly traced Spike's cheekbone, before gripping his chin roughly and pulling him close. "I especially want to do a lot of things." He kissed Spike roughly, drawing blood.

Coming to his senses, Spike fought him off and tossed him back against the sofa. He wiped his mouth. "You have no right. Now get the bloody fuck out of here."

Kurn licked his lips and got up slowly. "I will have two warrior fairies breaking down your door in the middle of the night to put your Boy out forever, THAT gives me all the right, if I know you at all."

"For what? He doesn't know anything... we haven't broken rules..."

Kurn recognized the desperate edge to Spike's voice…he knew he'd won. "Who are they going to believe? Me, or a fairy that loves Man's Land more than his own? You would do anything to make your Boy keep you…you told him everything."

"I-did-not," a vein at Spike's temple started to throb. He balled his fist as Kurn approached him.

"It won't make a difference. Dead is dead. You can explain it to them later..."

Spike dropped his hand. "What do you want?"

"Ah... you have wised up. Good. I want you to feed from me."

Spike's blue eyes flashed with horror. "No," he rasped, even as Kurn slipped behind him and put his arms around Spike's chest. He started to walk away, to the kitchen area, half dragging Kurn with him. "You can feed from me... I don't want any—"

"Of course I can, but right now...I want you to take my blood into your body."

Spike gripped the counter, still refusing to look at Kurn who was plastered against his back. It was something the overlord had never been successful at getting him to do.... he'd never cried out under the overlord's whip, and he'd refused to feed from him. Kurn had come to collect now? After all this time?

As he felt the other fairy's hand run up and down his sides, Spike recoiled. He didn't want this. And maybe he could bear it if it were just him, but what about Xander? He'd promised him he'd never feed from anyone else. He forced himself to say the words, to beg. "Please... not this... not this. Something else, but not this," he said, looking over into merciless eyes.

"Fucking do as you are told." Kurn shook him, sighed as he felt Spike tremble. He covered his body, nudged his cock against the blond's glorious ass. "Bite me."

Spike crawled deep inside himself, wanting to push Kurn away, wanting to shout for help, or to fight… he had good reason to fight, he was strong, he could kill the overlord. But what if what he said was true? What if warriors were sent after Xander?

"Please...." he felt Kurn line up behind him, felt him start to lightly thrust. He was enjoying the begging, he wanted more of it. Already, the evil fairy was panting. He had to fucking get it over with. Stretching toward him, he bit into Kurn's throat. For the first time, he didn't prepare his feeding partner, didn't stroke his tongue over soft flesh to numb it, just bit like a savage.

Kurn groaned, out of pain, out of pleasure. "Suck.... fucking drink or he's gone," he warned, frustration tingeing his voice at Spike's slowness.

Stomach roiling, Spike took a dram or two of blood. With it came unwanted images... Kurn's darkest needs and desires. Images flashed through his mind. Images of himself bound to that punishment wheel. Kurn whipping him, and then rubbing his blood all over their bodies, laughing. Then fucking him while he was tied up like an animal, holding his mouth so he couldn't scream. And there was the kicker... Boy sitting in a corner watching. Water poured out of Boy's eyes, more water than even Big One had squeezed out of him.

Eventually, it was over. Kurn came with a sound that disgusted Spike. "Now get out," he rasped. "Get out..." Scarlet tears streamed down his cheeks, dripping to the floor. He hardly heard the door close. It didn't make a difference that their clothes had never come off... not one wit of difference.


~*~*~*~*~


"Best run up the stairs, boss. Spike will probably perish without you."

Xander waved goodbye to Steve, laughing at the good-natured teasing. He'd asked Steve for a ride, anxious to get back to Spike. They'd worked late, and he hadn't wanted to walk home, concerned that Spike would be hungry. The last time he'd been late Spike had jumped him the moment he'd walked through the door. Not that it hadn't been fun, but Spike had been in obvious pain, and Xander couldn't bear to think of him like that. Jealousy aside, he'd made Spike promise to go out and feed if things got that bad again. Just because it was necessary didn't mean he had to like it. Of course, Xander had made sure he was home on time after that.

He practically skipped into the building, his excitement rising with every step. Spike wouldn't be in pain but he sure as hell would be hungry and that meant Xander would have a hot, sexy, bloody horny fairy to play with. It was like a perverted fairy tale, he thought, snickering lightly. He pushed the key into the lock, hesitating briefly before he turned it. No matter how sure he was that everything was okay, no matter how happy he thought he made Spike, there was always a second before he turned the key where he could see the empty rooms inside, no Spike inside, not even a note telling him he'd gone.

"Stupid idiot," he grumbled to himself, as he opened the door. The first thing he saw as he walked through the door was Spike, sitting on the couch, facing away from him. "Hey sweet, didja miss me?"

Spike had cleaned himself off with a thought. If only he could say the same of the experience. He'd been violated, used... forced to share Kurn's sick sexual desires. It made him queasy, sick to his stomach. Worse, he'd let someone take what he'd told Xander only belonged to Xander. Listless and numb, he didn't turn around. "Yeah," he whispered, his voice a bit thick and raspy. "Missed you."

"What's wrong?" Xander immediately moved to sit next to Spike, reaching out to take hold of one of his hands, "Are you hungry? Am I that late? I'm sorry, Spike, I am, I told you, you can go out and have someone, I'm sorry," he babbled, shifting closer as he spoke, until he was pressed against Spike's side, his arm around the blond's shoulders.

Spike shrank away slightly. It wasn't Kurn… he knew it. It was Xander, the boy he loved. But he didn't want to talk about feeding. He didn't want to be asked questions. He didn't want to look into those eyes… those eyes would make him face what had happened, and increase the gnawing in the depths of his stomach. "Not late. Just... not hungry." Looking stonily down at his boots, he wished he could have flown away... just for a little while, just until he felt better... cleaner. But he'd promised to be here, and here he was, but useless to Xander.

"You're not...but you haven't fed in a couple nights...unless...Spike I told you it's okay, I said if I was late you could go." Xander tried to catch Spike's eye, "Spike, I swear it's okay. I mean, I'm not feeling all that great about it, but I hate you being in pain so it's okay. I'm not mad, o-or about to have a meltdown. See? No meltdown!" Xander resolutely ignored the hurt settling down in his heart. He'd told Spike it would be okay, and he refused to take that back. Not when Spike looked so miserable, not when he refused to meet Xander's eyes. "Please don't feel bad," he said softly, rubbing circles on Spike's back.

As tears stung his eyes, Spike closed them . Slowly, very slowly, he relaxed a little under Xander's touch. And yet a part of him worried. Xander would want him to feed, would want to be intimate. Spike was always game for sex, for anything Xander wanted. What would Xander think if... But the thought of being touched, even by Xander, made him tense all over again. A voluntary feeding, he could set aside easily... it was natural. But what had happened with Kurn was unnatural and dirty. It would invade his mind... he didn't want that, and couldn't stand the thought that he’d think of Kurn when he was with Xander. "Not your fault... nothing is," he said, pulling away slowly. "Need a shower."

"Sure..." Xander watched as Spike left the room, struggling to understand what he'd done to cause this. Other than Willow, he hadn't had any kind of a long-term relationship before Spike, and he had no idea what had happened to make Spike act this way. He must have done something, Spike never acted this distant with him. He should do something to apologize, that's what people did right? When they cared for someone? Still feeling a little bit awkward, Xander headed for the kitchen. He'd make peanut butter cookies—that always made Spike feel better—cookies and maybe milk or coke.

So intent was he in his plan, he nearly didn't notice the blood on the counter. He didn't even see the little red dots until he accidentally leaned against them and felt something wet seep into his t-shirt.


~*~*~*~*~


Spike took the longest shower ever, standing under the steaming hot water, letting it wash away the tears that he finally allowed to flow, away from Xander's presence. Xander's understanding and forgiveness didn't make it better... it made it worse. Made him feel that much more the betrayer of trust. If he could tell him... if he could explain... he slammed his fist into the hard tile, eventually slipping down to sit on the floor of the shower. So many secrets... so hard to keep. But if he were being watched, Xander's life would surely be forfeit if he told.

Eventually, when he could delay no longer, he got out and changed. Xander's sweats were a bit long on him, but he wanted comfort, and they gave him a bit of that. Hesitating as he took each step, he walked into the living room and found it empty. Turning his head, he looked into the kitchen. A glass of coke and some cookies sat on the counter, and Xander stood with his back to him.

"For me?" he asked, eyeing the treat he didn't deserve.

Xander was startled out of his contemplation of the counter where the blood used to be.

"Yeah, you...erm...you sounded like you could use it," he replied, trying to sound cheerful. I told him to do it, I told him. Didn't tell him to bring whoever it was home, but that means nothing. Spike loves me—the other person was just a meal. "Steve says to say ‘hi’, he wants another chance to beat you at darts," he continued, wiping the counter again. The blood wasn't there any longer, but he still didn't think it was clean. "I told him we might go out tomorrow, it being Friday and all."

Bright and cheerful, lying…forcing it. Spike knew...he could tell these things now. Without an ounce of enthusiasm, he picked up the coke and took a long drink, sneezing immediately. Sneezing usually made him laugh... made both of them laugh. There was no laughter tonight.

"All right. Friday, we'll go," he said, watching Xander clean the spotless counter until it was shining. "It's clean now."

"What? Oh...sorry, wasn't thinking," Xander replied, finally turning to look at Spike. He looked so alone and sad sitting in that chair. Xander silently vowed to come home on time from now on. Nothing was worth Spike feeling like this. "Hey, hey Spike, don't. It's okay—it was just a bit of a shock. I love you, you know that, right?" he said, pulling a chair close to Spike and sitting next to him. "I do. I'm just being silly."

He crumbled the cookie between his fingers and forced himself to look at Xander. A lump rose in his throat. He loved him still... he hated the thought of him feeding elsewhere, but he loved him still. "I love you too, Xander." He gave a watery smile. "Just had a hard day... even fairies have those once in a while. Be all right tomorrow."

Xander reached out to cup Spike's face, his thumb rubbing at Spike's cheekbone. "Anything I can do to help?"

Spike flinched. That was where Kurn had touched him. That was how the whole thing had started. It wasn't Xander's fault... Xander didn't know. He took a calming breath, forced himself to accept the touch. "Yes. Can we watch a movie... a nice one, with cartoons in it?" Then they wouldn't have to talk, and he could watch—or zone out, and maybe start to act normal before he hurt Xander even more.

"One movie with cartoons coming up," Xander replied, pretending not to see the way Spike flinched away from him. He got up and headed for the living room, careful not to get too close to Spike. He couldn't handle it if Spike rejected his touch again. "Wanna go Disney? It's cute and sweet and might make you feel better."

Taking his glass of coke with him, Spike followed. "That sounds good. Don't tell Steve, yeah?" he joked, trying hard to bring normalcy back into their lives. But he hesitated at the sofa... eyed the armchair. That wouldn't do at all. He sat down at the edge of the sofa pasting a smile on his face. "Something with an evil witch person that gets killed by the prince."

"I have just the thing." Xander had to fight to sound anywhere near normal. He set the DVD player up, grabbed the remote and sat in the armchair. He stared steadily at the television, willing himself not to panic. Just a bad fairy day, just a bad day…nothing to do with him.

He should be relieved... happy that Xander chose to sit away from him. But he was miserable on the inside, both wanting to be with Xander and wanting to be as far away as possible. Scrunching down, he leaned his head back and stared at the telly. Maybe he'd be swept away by the story. That would be the best thing.


~*~*~*~*~


Xander hovered nervously next to the bed, debating whether to just slide in or wait for Spike to come out of the bathroom. What if he got in bed but Spike didn't want to sleep with him? What if he didn't get in and Spike thought Xander was still upset about the feeding thing? What if...his thought process was interrupted by their very subject coming through the door.

Having stared at himself in the mirror for what seemed like forever, telling himself he could do this... he could be with Xander and quell the thoughts of Kurn, Spike was prepared to do just that. But here he stood, staring at the man he loved... had always loved, in all the ways you could love someone, and he was at a loss as to what to say or do. It hurt to feel this way. It hurt Xander as well.

Forcing another step forward, he took Xander's hand, squeezed it. This was ridiculous. Closing his eyes, he leaned forward and kissed him lightly on the mouth. "To bed, then?"

"Yeah...bed..." Xander fidgeted a moment longer, looking at the bed before finally climbing in. He kept his eyes low, willing Spike to just get in and touch him. It didn't even have to be a big thing…just a hand on his shoulder would be enough.

The lights were out and Spike was unnaturally far from Xander. By this point in any evening where they stayed home, there would be touching, and bed wrecking, and laughter. It was quiet—quiet and lonely. Spike rolled on his side, looking down at Xander's face under the moonlight streaming through the blinds. He ached for the freedom of yesterday. But he could take this. By tomorrow, Kurn's blood would be out of him, and he could block the vicious images that kept creeping into his thoughts.

Xander caught Spike looking at him and immediately looked away. Encouraged by the look, he shifted a little bit closer, until he was just touching Spike. No reaction from the blond and Xander shifted a little more, pressing firmly against him, eyes still averted just in case.

Feeling the press of a body he knew so well, Spike looked at Xander with a yearning deep in his heart. His was the scent he'd wanted. His was the taste he'd craved before taking the vile tainted blood of the overlord. He focused on Xander's throat, tried to imagine the taste of his sweet blood wiping away the bitter remains of Kurn's. On the verge of a sob, he put his head down on Xander's chest, seeking the rhythm of that strong heartbeat that always proved comforting.

When he felt Xander stir, a sudden sense of panic struck. Immediately, Spike shifted into his less substantial fairy form, making any further real contact between them impossible. Wings beating, he flew up to Xander's face. "Gonna sleep in your pocket... like old times." It was more a question, than a statement.

Xander nodded. He watched as Spike settled down on his chest, told himself of the trust Spike must have in him to sleep where Xander could hurt him simply by turning over. He absolutely refused to listen to the little voice telling him that obviously Spike was already tired of him, already trying to find a way out of his promise to stay. Spike trusted him.

Rolling onto his stomach, Spike clutched handfuls of Xander's pj in his fists, and closed his eyes. Once again, the familiar beat of his lover's heart slowly eased his tension. The old nightmares were gone since he'd started sleeping with Xander. If only he could chase away Kurn's deeds of this day. Spike chose to believe Xander could... that he would. Eventually, his grip loosened, and he fell into a deep sleep.

Xander concentrated on feeling Spike's weight on him, comforted by his continued presence. Spike trusted him, he thought over and over until he drifted off. He dreamt of fairies, chasing after tiny little ones, never catching them. He finally spotted a familiar one, perched on a tree branch near him, blond hair glinting in the sun. He approached stealthily, or at least so he thought until he realized that the fairy was grinning and looking right at him Before he could reach out to grab it, the fairy had left the branch and flown right up to him, landing on his shoulder. Xander laughed as the wings tickled his skin...that felt wonderful.

By the early morning light, the turmoil within Spike had eased a bit. Quite a bit. It helped that he'd slept well, and that the last vestiges of Kurn's blood were gone. Crawling out of Xander's pocket he stretched, hopped next to him on the bed, and shifted to human size.

He ached at the thought of how things had been between them last night. But when he caught sight of the smile fluttering on Xander's lips, he knew things really would be all right. Unable to help himself, he rolled halfway on top of Xander, bracing his weight on his arm, and dipping his head down to kiss the boy on his jaw, throat, and the exposed part of his chest.

The fluttering turned firmer, fluttery touches against his neck making his laughter turn into moaning. He shifted restlessly and suddenly the fairy wasn't so small, it was big and beautiful and leaning over him.

"Spike?" Xander whispered, eyes drifting open. "Oh, don't stop that," he protested when Spike lifted his head to smile down at him. He reached up and pulled him down, full length pressed against him as he claimed Spike's lips.

Sweet. Nice. Familiar. Painless. It was everything Spike craved... everything Spike loved. Moving his mouth back and forth over Xander's, he slid his hand under the boy's shirt, running his hand up and down his stomach and chest. "Better than the bloody alarm clock?" he asked, on the verge of a smile.

"Way...way better." Xander turned them over, settling between Spike's legs and pressing down. He loved feeling Spike against him, the way he fit just right under him. One hand trailed down to grab Spike's thigh and pulled it up, forcing them into closer contact. "Feels so good, Spike."

The sudden press of Xander's groin against his own sent a strong jolt of pleasure ripping through Spike. He threw back his head and gave a sharp groan, getting harder with each forceful thrust of Xander's body against his. His gaze locked with Xander's, and he could see the boy didn't intend to slow down.

Right. Sometimes fairies could be the ones who had a bit of control. Sliding his hands down Xander's back and over his ass, he dragged him down hard, restricting Xander's ability to thrust. Their movements against each other grew small and easy. "Xander... I'm sorry," he whispered.

Xander groaned his disappointment, dropping his head to Spike's shoulder, "Want you Spike, please." The slow, easy movement was good in its own way but Xander was so relieved Spike still wanted him, he couldn't get rid of the sense of urgency holding him in its grip. He tried again to speed up but Spike held him down, kept him nearly immobile.

Almost losing control, the fairy came close to cursing at himself. Gritting his teeth and fighting against the need to let Xander go, let him fuck him hard and fast, let him take them to that special place that was theirs alone. But there were things to be said... that should be said. "You have me. Now. Always, yeah… Xander... about yesterday... listening to me? Never wanted to hurt you. Not ever again."

"It's okay, Spike, bad day and all..." Xander stopped moving completely and came up on his elbows, high enough to look down on Spike, "So long as you still want me," he said, hating the tremor in his voice. Spike had told him time and again that he was Xander's, what the fuck was wrong with him that one little bad day made him feel like this. He dropped a quick kiss on Spike's lips. "Want me?"

Xander's uncertainty hurt. Spike knew he'd put it there when he'd left him as a boy. Sometimes he wondered if he could ever repair the damage... ever. "You mean for sex?" He lifted his hips and nudged Xander with his rock hard cock, "Or everything else?" Their gazes were locked. "I want you for everything... in every way. Every way," he repeated, lifting his head and running his tongue along Xander's jugular pulsating so damned erratically.

"I knew that," he grinned, "I'm irresistible and all that.” He stuck his tongue out and giggled as Spike went cross-eyed trying to follow it. Spike's answering grin just had to be kissed and Xander duly did so, tracing the shape of it with his tongue. "Love you, Spike."

Spike held still for as long as he could, then opened his mouth and tangled his tongue with Xander's. They kissed and played around, groping each other for as long as they could, then the pressure building low in Spike's belly demanded relief. "Too many clothes," he said suddenly, releasing his hold on Xander and struggling to get them free of the clothes separating them.

Xander grinned and lay back, letting Spike do all the work. He just loved watching his fairy when he shifted to high speed and tried to get everything done at once. Blue eyes would shine with intent and his hands would be everywhere, and all Xander had to do was sit back and enjoy the ride. Soon they were both naked, and Xander just had to laugh at the self-satisfied smirk Spike wore.

"Come here then, I'm not just for looking at you know," he teased, reaching out to grab Spike's hand and tug him closer.

"No, not just for looking at... for kissing too," the fairy readily agreed, now looking down on the brunet's sun kissed shoulders and chest. Leaning back, he looked lower, flushing with heat at the sight of Xander's erection. "Mine." He kissed Xander's mouth, and then trailed hot kisses down his chest and abdomen, tasting, biting, licking his way down to his goal. Finally, he rested his mouth over Xander's tip, slowly, swirling his tongue around, then sucking lightly, stroking his length at the same time, feeling him thicken under his touch.

"Fuck Spike, just like that." Xander fought the urge to thrust but couldn't stop his hands from threading into Spike's hair, pushing lightly downwards. He could feel Spike's tongue dance over him, his fingers tightening and releasing around Xander's cock making it almost unbearable. "Oh God, don't stop, please don't stop."

This should have been last night, but they could make up for it now, and they would. Pulling out all stops, Spike touched Xander in every way he knew was sure to drive the boy up the wall. Light, teasing touches…harder, rougher squeezes. His mouth running up and down the boy's sensitive shaft, his tongue flicking out now and again. When Xander's tugs on him became more urgent, he shoved his arms under the writhing brunet's knees and dragged him up, lifting him, taking as much of his cock as he could in his mouth and sucking. With his head nestled between his thighs, he let Xander set the rhythm, his own cock hardening to a painful degree as Xander’s motions and cries increased the intensity of his desire.

"Oh God...oh God, Spike, please I need to…please..." Xander thrust up faster and faster, taking everything Spike gave him. He reached out to touch Spike's skin, anywhere he could reach, needing this connection with him. "Spike...going to come, please just..." He felt Spike's hand cup his balls, a finger pressing just behind, and he finally came, Spike's name on his lips.

Spike licked him a few more times, then crawled up his body, pressing his own hard cock against Xander's thigh, fucking it lightly for some relief. The panting breaths near his ear did things to him, twisted him on the inside every time. He was torn between finding release now, or taking a bit of blood, though he didn't need it, and catapulting them both into a carnal web of lust and desire. He ran a thumb across Xander's mouth, closing his eyes when a warm tongue flicked out over it. By the time he ran it down the side of the boy's throat, Xander was looking up at him, raising his chin in open invitation…one that the vampire fairy would not resist today.

Xander shifted so that Spike could press his cock against the juncture of his thigh and hip, finding the friction he needed. He curled his hand on the back of Spike's neck, gently pulling him toward his own neck. "I want you to," he whispered, right next to Spike's ear. "Want to feel you inside me, want me to be inside you...it'll feel so good Spike. Come on, sweet just...yessss," he hissed, as he felt sharp teeth press down and into him.

Hot. Scarlet. Sweet. Spicy. Erotic. That was what Xander tasted like to him. That was what Xander make him feel. Clutching his shoulders, he sucked harder, drawing in more of his life-blood, willingly giving him the vampire's gift of sensations that went beyond the five senses. Images assaulted both their minds, images of long kisses, and hard fucks, of extreme need, of helpless cries for relief. His fangs anchored in Xander, Xander’s blood and cock pulsating inside him…that was what he saw in his head. As they spun out of control, he rolled them over and spread his legs, lifting his hips so Xander could make what was in their minds reality.

Xander immediately pressed down, his body trying desperately to copy the images flitting through his brain. Suddenly he was sliding inside Spike, his breath catching at the tightness surrounding him. "Oh God, Spike," he whimpered, pressing his neck harder against Spike's fangs and his cock deeper inside his body. He moved slowly at first, letting Spike get used to him inside, then faster and harder, as Spike's legs came to wrap around his waist and pull him closer.

They were locked together in every way possible… bodies wrapped tight, moving together, inflamed by the same erotic visions, knowing and feeling only each other. The world fell away, and it was only Xander and Spike... Spike and Xander, fucking, loving, crying out as they spent their passion.

"Don't go in to work today." Spike held Xander tight, refusing for the moment to allow him to roll away. "Stay with me."





Part Two

They'd hung on to each other in the shower, neither one wanting Xander to go in to work. But construction was at a critical point and calling in sick was not an option, so Spike had kissed him goodbye and smiled. It was only a few hours after all, ten tops. He'd keep himself busy and not think about yesterday.

He did keep busy—it was hard work deciding which channel to watch. Xander had every one available on the planet. His telly even showed four channels at once! Spike was still flipping channels when there was a knock on the door. He turned toward it, but this time... he didn't make a move toward it. Xander would use his key, he'd learned that much the hard way.

"Come on, little Spikey, open the door," Kurn said, as soon as it became apparent that Spike was not about to let him in. "You don't want your human to meet with an accident on his way back from work do you? It would be so easy," he continued, allowing the malice he felt to show in his voice, "all I'd have to do is make one of those car things ram him into a wall. Can you imagine the blood, Spike? The pain as your boy dies."

Spike's grip on the remote tightened as dread, pure and dark, inched through his veins and came out his pores. He closed his eyes hoping that Kurn would leave. But the silence was worse…more threatening somehow.

Cold fingers of ice invaded his stomach, with them bringing fear. He couldn't leave Xander to the overlord's mercy. He couldn't. Spike got up and opened the door, a wild look in his eyes. "You have no right. Fairies can't kill humans, except warriors," he shoved Kurn back. "You're not a warrior, and Xander isn't in violation of any of our laws." That was when he saw them... two tall figures watching from afar.

"Handy, aren't they?" Kurn asked, a smirk distorting his face. "Now, let's talk about how you violated the terms of your contract, shall we?" He sauntered inside, making sure to brush his body against Spike's as he did so. The bastard had been a thorn in Kurn's side since the first day he'd come to the mines and now...well, now Kurn could have what he wanted and get his revenge on Spike too.

One last look at the warrior fairies, and Spike followed him inside, keeping his distance. This time he'd fight... this time. He stood in the middle of the living room, arms crossed protectively over his chest. "What do you bloody want, Kurn? I served my time, you sodding know I did. You wouldn't have let me leave otherwise, yeah?"

"Well, see, here's the thing. It seems that little Spikey was in such a rush to see his human boy, he didn't stay long enough to make sure he mined the right amount of diamonds." Kurn grinned, ecstatically happy to deliver the news, "It seems that little Spikey was just under the freedom limit. It seems that little Spikey still has a few days to go before he fulfills his contract." Seeing the shock and distress in those blue eyes was possibly the best thing that had happened to Kurn since the day Spike had left. He leaned back against a wall, crossing his arms over his chest and tilting his head to better enjoy the view.

"Fuck... you're lying!" Spike paced away, if only to give himself a chance to think without those coal black eyes drilling a hole through him. Fuck... Fuck ... Fuck... if it was true, that was what the warrior fairies were doing out there... enforcing the contract with the trolls.

Xander.... Xander would come home and find him gone. Xander would curl up into a ball and remember the last time. The scar on his knee was gone, but the scar Spike would leave on his heart would never heal. As he turned, he accidentally knocked some picture frames down. Collecting them, he put them back, hands shaking slightly. He pressed the memo button on the answering machine and turned again to Kurn.

"The treasure weigher said I brought enough. You were there when he pronounced the total amount of my hauls." A few days... a few days in fairyland, he didn't know how much that was in human time. Last time he'd gone, it had taken ten human years. He'd left a boy, and found a bitter man. Next time... what would he find?

"The treasure weigher was wrong, and I was also there when the ledgers were updated and you were found wanting. You owe them, Spike, and you're coming back to pay." Kurn's smile was distinctly unpleasant as he stepped closer to speak right into Spike's ear, "To be more specific, you owe me, as I bought your debt from them." He leaned back again to better enjoy the stricken look on Spike's face. He would look so beautiful when he was broken.


~*~*~*~*~


Xander went through his daily ritual of hesitation, stupid self-recriminations and turning the key…except this time, when he walked into the apartment, Spike wasn't sitting within view nor was his voice heard telling Xander hello. Instead the room was a mess, there were splotches of blood on the couch, and Spike was gone. Xander stumbled over the couch, landing heavily on the floor right in front of the overturned table that previously held the phone.

He lay there, staring at the answering machine's blinking light, trying to understand how his life had been turned upside down again. The last time it had happened he had also found himself lying in a room that showed signs of a struggle, pain tearing his body apart. This time...this time the pain was tearing his heart into pieces. Spike was gone. Spike was gone. Spike was gone.

Xander stayed on the floor for a long time. All he could think was that Spike was gone, he was finally gone and Xander was dying just thinking the words. He breathed in and felt the edge of the overturned table dig into his back. A small frown appeared on his face. Spike was gone, but...why would he trash the place? Why would there be blood on Xander's couch? Spike, in his fairy form, never had to fight for blood, and he was always a neat eater. He sat up a bit…surveyed the ruins of his living room. The blinking red light caught his attention again and he reached out to press it, the action nearly automatic now.

"The treasure weigher said I brought enough. You were there when he pronounced the total amount of my hauls."

Xander sat straight up, his full attention on the answering machine and Spike's voice. What the hell was going on?


~*~*~*~*~


Willy was wiping down the bar and preparing for the rougher night crowd when the lone human came in. Not too many of them dared venture into the demon bar. Then again, this one's fey partner had made it clear that no one was to touch him.

Xander wasted no time looking at the other patrons of the place, heading straight to the bar and reaching over to grab Willy and drag him close.

"Who is Kurn, and where did he take Spike?"

"Hey!" Willy struggled, then relaxed. "Look, if you have boyfriend troubles, this is the wrong bar to complain in."

"Willy, I don't have the patience for this. I know he did something to Spike, now tell me where they are." Xander shook Willy and tried to look as menacing as possible. "Tell. Me."

"I don't know what you're talking about. Now let me go, and let's talk." Once the boy's hold loosened, Willy poured two long drinks and listened to Xander's tale of what he'd heard on his answering machine. "I don't know anyone named Kurn, but if Spike called him an overlord, it means he worked for the trolls. And by the way... do you know the penalty for having knowledge of the fey world? For humans? I'm sure Spike would kill me for..."

"Spike would kill you, I would just make your life hell." Xander fixed Willy with his most steady gaze. "I may be only a human, but I can make sure you get licenses revoked, inspectors coming in every day and night, a fucking demolition crew getting confused and knocking down the wrong building. Tell me what the fuck is going on, Willy, and tell me how to get to Spike. Do it. Now."

"I don't have a crystal ball... I don't know," the bar owner sputtered, now afraid of threats to tear down his place. He'd started over too many times in his life. "I'm just putting things together like, from what you said and all. If Kurn is an overlord and there was a contract violation, the fairies would have helped take Spike back. They're big on contracts, the fairies... it keeps the peace." Willy rubbed his neck. "Unless he committed a crime, he should be out.... when he fulfills his contract. Have a drink or two... he'll be back." What he didn't mention was that time passed at a different rate in the land of the fey. It could be days, or centuries...

Xander sat back, frowning in thought. He considered Spike's words from the answering machine, that Kurn guy's threats, and Spike's nightmares...it was like having pieces of a jigsaw and trying to make the whole picture without knowing what it was or where each piece was supposed to go. Willy quietly brought him a drink, and Xander sipped as he thought, slowly fitting the pieces together to make a rather horrifying image. He called Willy over, waited until the barman was close enough for him to hear without Xander yelling.

"I need to get to Spike. Tell me how."

Willy rubbed his palms together. "It's risky. It could cost you your life. It WILL cost you a shit load of money." When Xander didn't blink an eye, he told him how to find a mixed breed witch. Half fey and greedy to boot, she just might be the one to help the determined human.


~*~*~*~*~


Xander was shocked at how easy it was to persuade the girl to help him. All she cared about was the cash he handed over to her. He held the bottle in his hand, his fingers restless against it, twirling it this way and that. The witch had told him not to drink the potion until he reached the oak at the center of Hamsleigh Park. After he'd drunk it, she said he would know what to do. He reached the tree and sat in its' shade, still playing with the little, green bottle. Xander wasn't sure if he could trust the witch, or Willy even, but he could think of no other way to get to Spike. Still, the words of the witch kept playing in his head...

Time passes differently there, a day in the land of the fey is much longer here. You could stay there for only a short while but find you have been missing for years in this world. Your family could die of old age before you return. Be warned, human, you could lose everything you love.

The words translated easily into Xander's life. He could lose Willow. If he went after Spike, he could lose the only family he ever had. Xander picked up his cell phone and dialed Willow's number. He couldn't tell her everything, but he could at least tell her he would be gone for a while. He would not have his Willow worry about him.

As soon as he hung up the phone, he opened the little, green bottle and drank deeply.

Xander felt the ground fall away and soon he was looking up at the tree he'd been sitting under. It was a hell of a lot of 'up'. He didn't take the time to marvel at his new circumstances, much as he would have liked to play around with his wings. No, time to play later. First he had to find Spike. He turned slowly round, looking carefully around him until he spotted a slight disturbance, like a rippling effect, on the base of the tree. He moved toward it, and, with a quick prayer to God, he jumped through.


~*~*~*~*~


He'd never been cold before. Now he shivered non-stop. Even now, with the rough blanket pulled up to his chin, as he sat on the ground, arms draped around his knees and leaning the right side of his body against the wall, as if it would protect him. As if anything could.

Another violent shudder broke through him. His teeth chattered, and he closed his eyes against the constant burn coming from the wounds at his sides. His blood had congealed now and no longer oozed, but it would again. Every movement twisted the poles that impaled him, reopened the wounds... so he tried not to move. Not to think. Not to shake.

There was no comfort in this place. Hardly any light. No friend. Just cold, hard fear. And the only thing that staved if off ... sometimes ... was the small, square piece of paper he hand in his hand. There had been a picture on it once, but he'd rubbed his thumb over it so much, most of the picture had rubbed away. He swallowed hard, trying to remember the picture... how it made him feel. Safe.

There were footsteps and the sound of a wheel turning... chains pulling. "No." The single word broke out of his throat, as he tucked the picture under the blanket just in time. The chains were attached to the thin rods that Kurn had inserted through his body. They dragged him up to his feet, then higher, until he was suspended in the air, fighting the nausea and pain. The rods went through him, front to back, and when the chains did their lifting job, the rods rested on a set of parallel bars... holding him like an animal on a spit.

Kurn pushed the heavy door open and stalked in. His eyes glazed over the instant he saw the pale, suspended figure just waiting to be mastered by him. He stood still a moment, enjoying the sight, reveling in the control he had over Spike, at the flashes of pain he could see in the blond's face. He'd been waiting for this moment since he'd first laid eyes on Spike, since the blond had snarled at him and moved to help some fairy child working in the mines. Kurn had punished Spike severely, hoping to break him, but that had yet to happen. Maybe he'd break today. His cock twitched.

Spike didn't turn his head, but when Kurn put his hand on Spike's back, its' weight dragged his body down and the rods tore him. Won't scream... won't won't won't. But a whimper did break from him.
"How long do you think you can keep this up?" Kurn kissed Spike's cheek, then bit it.

Don't talk... talking doesn't help... don't talk.

"You thought you wouldn't scream... you've screamed. You say you won't drink my blood, but yours..." he touched the sticky liquid now running from the wounds around the rods, "is almost all gone. You're not healing anymore. I'm your only choice. You're going to fucking drink me or die before your time is up." Oh yeah, there had been so little time owed by the vampire fairy, Kurn had easily paid his debt and bought that time. Now he had him in these abandoned underground troll chambers, and no one could hear him scream.

Leaning forward, he kissed him ... hard on the mouth. His frustration was building every day. This particular fairy had dominated his dreams for too long, all because he wouldn't break. He was going to break for him now—he had to. "Now drink." He put his throat against Spike's mouth. "I said drink."

His mouth hurt. His jaw ached. And, as the overlord got angrier, he tugged on Spike's body, making him burn and bleed. And still, Spike wouldn't bite... wouldn't take one drink. He didn't care if he was dying, if his cells were screaming for it. He can't win.

Kurn went wild. It was this one's stubbornness and rebellion that drove him to the edge, and here was history repeating itself. "You will drink... fucking do it... do it ... do it!" Each time he yelled, he punched his prisoner, knocked his body back and forth, rubbed his hands in Spike's blood and licked it himself. And yet he got nowhere…

"Fuck you." He dragged the only article of clothing Spike had on - his boxers - down his hips, then lined his cock up to him. "Fuck you, fuck you... fuck fuck fuck..." he growled, roughly taking Spike, "say yes... god damn you... say you'll do it... say it...

Spike struggled. It hurt so much, it didn't matter if the rods dug deeper, his instincts wouldn't allow him to stay still. Kurn's orders, his yells... they became unintelligible, as the vampire's mind grew hazy and slowly shattered. No.... No…. No more.... no..... make it stop.... please...


~*~*~*~*~


The moment Xander burst through the effect, into the land of the fey, he dropped to the ground screaming in pain. She tricked me, fucking witch tricked me. That was poison. Gradually, he became aware that the pain was fierce in certain places, like a sharp blade pushing into his flesh. He looked down at his body, half expecting to see blood marring his clothes, but there was nothing.

No.... No.… No more.... no..... make it stop.... please...

"Spike!"

Xander looked around, frantically trying to find Spike, but no one was there. The glade was silent but for the sound of birds chirping away, and nothing moved but for some leaves swaying in the breeze.

Won't scream... won't give him the pleasure. Fuck.....

A fresh slash of pain, at the back of his neck this time.

"Spike, please tell me where you are."

Something brushed Spikes mind…something that soothed and dulled the pain of the moment. A voice that made him want to break down and cry. But he wouldn't... not until Kurn left him. I won't take his blood... I won't ... I won't ... die first, but I won't.... he told the strangely familiar voice. Anything to keep his mind off the torture and the feel of the overlord lapping hungrily at his throat... taking what little blood he had left in his system. Death was close, and he would welcome it... fuck the craving for blood. Talk... talk to me, please.

Spike? Oh God, Spike, you can really hear me? Xander fought the pain and got up, trying to focus on the voice in his head. I need to find you, sweetheart, how do I find you? He automatically started moving, not sure where he was going or what he was doing, hoping against hope that he was going the right way. Do anything you can to survive, Spike, I'm coming for you, just...wait for me, okay?"

Spike had been concentrating so hard on the voice in his head... not even the words so much, but the feel of the presence of someone inside his mind... someone kind, and soft, and warm, that he didn't know it was over until the bars holding him up retracted, and he fell to his knees. Careful not to tilt forward so that the lances in him wouldn't be pushed through his body, he crawled and walked on his knees, back to the pallet near the wall and rested against the wall. Blood oozed from all over him, his neck, the wounds in his back and stomach... everywhere. He didn't stop the blood, couldn't. Nor did he wish himself clean anymore. Just want to sleep. Just want to close my eyes and never wake.

Xander practically felt the resignation Spike felt and lurched as he ran. Oh God, Spike, hang on. Please hang on, I can't live without you. I swear, Spike, I'll kill myself if you die, hold on please don't leave me please don't leave me pleasepleaseplease... He kept up a litany of begging and encouraging in his head running as fast as his legs could carry him.


~*~*~*~*~


Time passed.

Xander ran like a man possessed, stopping only to rest, eat and drink. Even that, he did less and less, as the feel of Spike's pull increased telling him he was closer.

Fairyland, in all its' pastoral beauty, disappeared as he entered troll territory. These lands were dark, the mountains all sharp edges into the sky. The people were more suspicious—they stared at him.

And there was more torture and pain. Spike wanted to slip away, but that voice wouldn't let him. He was in turn grateful and angry at the voice. Why wouldn't it let him go?

Time passed.


~*~*~*~*~


Abandoned mine entrances dotted the mountainous landscape. In here... somewhere in one of these underground places, Spike lay dying, one cell at a time.





Part Three

As his life force ebbed away, the only effort Spike made was to talk to that voice in his head. It was the only thing that counted, even if he'd made the voice up. You stopped talking. Why did you stop? Say something. Anything.

Xander ran through the caves, desperately looking for the right one. Spike's voice was getting stronger in his head, even if it was sounding more desperate. Nearly there, Spike, just hold on a little while longer. He finally found the right door, growling in anger when it refused to open. Just outside the door, sweetheart, nearly there, please hold on. He stepped back and threw his whole weight against the door over and over again, until he finally felt it give way—hurtling to the floor with it—finding himself at Spike's feet.

Spike's world narrowed as he thought Kurn was back again. He started to shake as he opened his heavy eyelids and saw someone else. Blinking, he made out dark hair... dark eyes... brilliantly vibrant wings... “I must be gone already,” he rasped.

"Spike, oh thank God!" Xander stumbled to his feet and reached out to release Spike from the chains. Only then did he see the bars protruding from Spike's body, the dried blood, the cuts, bruises… the lost look in Spike's eyes. He swallowed convulsively, telling himself not to faint—this was not the time to drop to the floor—he had to help Spike. "Oh fuck...oh God...what did they...Spike?" Xander couldn't help the tears flowing down his face or the tremble of his arm as he reached out to touch his lover.

He flinched at the touch. Shivered as he warily watched the stranger who'd stolen the voice in his head. Held still when he did touch him. Light, soft... a caress that made Spike want to cry. "Is it time then? You've come to take me to the sleeping fields?" he asked, his eyes filling with tears. He was leaving nothing behind but pain and anger... so why the sadness?

"I've come to take you home," Xander whispered. He knew what he had to do to free Spike but he didn't want to do it… didn't want to cause Spike any more pain. "Sweetheart, look at me please." He waited for Spike to look up—took a deep shuddering breath at the lost look in his eyes. "Oh God, I can't do this, I can't, I just..." Xander laid his cheek against Spike's—eyes closed as he tried to pull himself together—concentrating on the feel of Spike's skin against his own as he unhooked the chains from the bars through Spike's torso. "Spike? This is gonna hurt, okay?" he said, eyes still closed. "I don't want to hurt you, but I have to, to take you home."

Xander didn't give himself a chance to change his mind. He stepped back and immediately grabbed the bars that impaled Spike's body and pulled.

Soft voice. Kind voice. A promise to take away the hurt followed by unbearable pain tearing through gut and muscle and organ and tissue… blinding him as he screamed one word. ”Why?”

Darkness started to engulf him, to press around him, crowd his mind. Spike started to fall into it, a place of no more pain... no more lies.

"I'm sorry, Spike, so sorry—please hold on—we're going home now," Xander murmured, whispering words of comfort over and over again as he lifted Spike into his arms and ran. He heard voices behind him, people yelling for him to stop, but he ignored them, running faster and faster, until—with a soft sound of surprise—he felt his feet lift off the ground. It took him a moment to realize that the wings had finally kicked in, and he concentrated on using them to move even faster.

By the time the harsh landscape of troll land was left behind them, Xander was exhausted. When Spike started to move around and protest, he had to drop down to the ground. Much to his surprise, he landed on top of a flower, which closed its petals protectively around them.

Spike breathed in the sweet scent. He was out of that place, that much he knew. But who was this man who stared at him so... like he cared, but then hurt him, all in one go? Gathering all his energy, he crawled away to the edge of the flower, and suspiciously watched the brunet's every move. At the same time, he automatically reached for the bit of paper he'd hung on to for so long, rubbing his finger over it as if it were a talisman... his freedom and protection. It hadn't worked before… he wasn't expecting it to now.

"Need to get you blood," Xander muttered to himself, patting his clothes down, looking for the dagger he'd brought with him. He finally located it and brought it out. "Here, Spike, you need to drink," he said, approaching the blond with slow and careful movements. He looked so damned scared it was all Xander could do not to just drag him into his arms and hold him close.

Blood. Always trying to force it in him. He was past the point of the unbearable cravings—he could resist. He would resist, because taking blood meant he let them win. That was it... he wasn't letting them win. "No." He caught the silver flash of the dagger, and quickly looked down.

"Spike, please, you need it. We can't go home like this, you'll die." Xander slashed into his wrist and tried to press it against Spike's mouth, but the blond moved away. "You promised not to leave me again, Spike. Remember your promise? Already broke it once, and I came to bring you home. Let me bring you home, Spike, please. Just drink...please drink."

"Mnmph..." he moved his face away, but that hand kept coming closer. He could smell the blood—warm, sweet... he knew how it would taste, how it would feel coursing through his body... fixing him. Every cell in his body screamed for him to do it... to take the blood.

Moving with preternatural speed, he gripped Xander's hand, twisted it and shoved him away with a snarl. "Don't know you... go away... just go away." That was the last of his energy, and he sank down and closed his eyes.

Xander sat back and stared at Spike, tears finally escaping his eyes. "Yes you do, Spike. I'm Xander. We used to play together—I'd feed you peanut butter sandwiches. You used to call me ‘Boy’, and you thought I didn't know that you always hid the red truck so you could find it first—but I did. Remember? Remember how much I love you?" He tried pressing his wrist against Spike's mouth again, "Please Spike, just one little sip and we'll keep moving. Just a little sip. For your Boy...please."

"No..." In saying the word, a bit of blood worked its way into Spike's mouth. It took every bit of willpower to reject the offer again. But the words... the words Xander spoke were familiar. He closed his eyes and tried to visualize them. "Dream... I saw that in a dream," he said eventually. "Boy cheated." That was it… he sank into a deep sleep.


~*~*~*~*~


Heat. Flames. Spike woke to a raging fever of need and desire. For blood. For Xander's blood. Xander, who lay wrapped around him… whose scent surrounded him. Xander, who’d offered to feed him. The tiny taste of his blood earlier was still strong in Spike's memory.

He eyed the column of Xander's throat... so inviting. He moved, shifted so he was over his sleeping companion, and then he sank his teeth into the side of his throat. No preparation, no warning, just the need to satisfy the craving burning within him.

Spike drank deeply, lapping up the sweet elixir of life, letting it course down his tongue. The sound of the boy's beating heart excited him—made him grow hard. Without waiting for his blood donor to get caught up in the erotic web of feeding, he shoved their clothes aside and started to thrust his erection against Xander's groin. Hard and fast, just the way he was feeding, with no care for Xander's thoughts or feelings, all he wanted was to feel better... and this would do it.

Xander snapped awake at the sharp pain on his neck. He tried to move, but by the time he'd gathered the energy to do so, someone was pushing him down, thrusting hard against him. He started to struggle, scared and panicked, determined not to let anybody hold him down again. Not again.

A second or two later, Xander remembered where he was and realized what was happening.

He was going to get his life back. He was going to be strong again, and never let anyone touch him again... ever. As he drew strength from the blood, Spike reached for that moment of elation that would drown all of his fears… all his pain. Make it all better.

Then he heard a skip in Xander's heart. And another. Fear. So bloody what? He'd been afraid, it hadn't stopped Kurn, had it? Love... he tasted love. That stopped him cold.

What was he doing? Turning into Kurn now? With an anguished cry, he used his tongue to seal Xander's wound and rolled off him. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry..." he muttered, looking up at the heavens. "Don't know what's happening to me... I don't... don't want to be like this," he said, a cry catching his throat.

Xander drew in a shuddering breath, trying to bring his heart under control. For a while there he'd thought that Spike wouldn't stop, not until Xander was dead. He wanted to sleep, to scream, to yell and beg, but he couldn't do any of that, not yet, not until they were safe. With some effort, he rolled to his side to face Spike and reached out to touch him, resting his hand on the blond's arm. "Spike, we need to get home," he said slowly.

“Aren't you afraid of me?" he whispered, himself afraid of the answer.

If Xander had the energy he would laugh. As it was he merely sighed loudly and tightened his hold on Spike's bicep. "No. Afraid for you. Damned terrified of losing you. Not so much with the fear of you, though." He shifted closer to Spike. "We'll talk about this when we're safe."

Xander smelled so familiar... tasted so familiar. Something skirted at the edge of his mind. He moved closer, put his head on the brunet's chest. "I know you. I can't remember you, but I know you."

"Better than anyone," Xander whispered, his hand coming up to pet Spike's hair. "We need to keep moving, Spike. The flower hid us, and I'm not going into how freaked out I am that a flower hid me, but they know you're gone. Kurn will come after us, and we need to go before he finds us."

"It's nice here. You look good in this flower... you wanted another color?" he asked, a bit confused. He leaned into the soothing strokes, closing his eyes, wanting to sleep. "Stay a while... then go." It literally hurt to speak the words that had to be said. "He took my blood... he'll be able to follow. You have to go alone, but not just yet."

"I'm going to assume you're delirious. I didn't come all the way here to leave you!" Xander protested, glaring angrily at Spike. This new, defeated version of his lover scared the crap out of him, and the only way he could deal with it now was to get angry enough to get them home. "If he can track you, we have to leave now. Get up, Spike, we're going. UP!" he screamed, when Spike showed no signs of movement.

Spike tried not to listen, but after a while the incessant shouting got to him. "Bloody well shut up, will you?" He sat up, looking reproachfully at Xander. "He doesn't own me, and you don't own me." He was tired of being pushed around, told what to do… being forced to please them. Them? No, Xander hadn't... He'd been kind, and helped him, and given him blood even though Spike had been rough... Xander hadn't even complained. He'd called him sweetheart. He'd talked about love.

Something slipped into place in his mind. He pulled out the worn bit of paper he kept tucked in his waistband. "You said you came to get me. Is this you?" he asked, looking up.

"I will not shut up and we will..." Xander's tirade was rudely interrupted by a picture being thrust into his hands. He stared at it, trying to make sense of the half faded image. He could just about make out dark hair and a very familiar multicolored shirt. "Yeah, that's me. No one else would wear that disaster. I've no idea why you picked this one to carry around—I looked like a total dork in high school."

"That's you..." he repeated, pulling it back protectively and yet never taking his gaze off Xander's face. "I'll come with you. I'll remember," he promised. "I'll remember home."

Xander blinked a few times, trying to keep the tears at bay. Can't seem to stop crying. So stupid, Spike's the one who suffered, he's the one who should be breaking down, not me. I can't break down, I have to get us home. His thoughts flew around in circles as he picked Spike up again, his wings beating frantically to get them home as fast as possible. Each time he managed to compose himself, Spike would whimper or flinch at something and off his mind would go again, round and round until the only thoughts left would be Can't break down and He looks so lost, so fucking broken.


~*~*~*~*~


Spike slept for twenty-four hours, on and off... a feverish, dream filled time. Images assaulted his mind... good and bad. Memories, they came trickling back as Xander's blood coursed through his veins, cleaning, repairing, strengthening. How many times had he opened his eyes to find Xander peering down at him?

Now... now he was asleep, next to him. Spike rolled closer, ran his hand up and down Xander's chest. When he saw his lashes flutter, he spoke.

Xander woke up slowly, arching into Spike's touch. He hummed sleepily—content to just be touched. He opened his eyes, looking up into impossible blue, a smile forming on his face. His smile froze as Spike began to speak and everything that had happened came back to him.

"I remember. You bring me coke and make me sneeze. I like peanut butter. We played as children. We still play," he gave a leer, "not like children. You like to be kissed here." He bent his head and dropped feather light kisses at the very edge of Xander's chest, where his arm started. "I'm not supposed to drink from anyone else, and I don't," he raised his head, eyes growing darker. "Except that one time when Kurn blackmailed me." Forget those thoughts... he blinked and cleared them away. "This is our home... yours and mine."

"Yes," Xander replied, fighting back tears for what felt like the millionth time, "to all that, yes." He pulled Spike down to him, wrapping his arms around him and holding him as close as possible while he pressed his face against Spike's neck. Xander took in shuddering breaths, trying hard to control himself. This wasn't over yet, not over until they took care of the bastard that took Spike away from him.

Spike could feel the emotions rolling like waves from Xander—knew he was struggling for control.   "Shshshsh, we're going to be all right," he whispered in his boy's ear,  "you found me, and everything will be all right," he repeated, closing his eyes as Xander nuzzled his throat.  "Love you, Xan."  Lifting his head, he shifted, and brought his mouth down over Xander's, kissing him slowly, tasting tears and joy and love.

"Love you too, Spike, God, so much. I nearly died when I thought you’d left," Xander spoke against Spike's lips, kissing him the moment he finished speaking. His arms went around his lover, holding him as close to his body as possible, reassuring himself that Spike was there, with him, wanting him.
 
Nice gentle caresses down his back had Spike burrowing closer.  This was what he remembered.  This was home.  "I nearly died knowing you'd find me gone."

"Not gone though, here...with me." Xander burrowed his hands under Spike's t-shirt, tracing the slight scars, the only reminder of their separation. These would soon be gone too. Xander took a moment to thank fairy-healing before he shifted the t-shirt up, leaning down to kiss the scars on Spike's chest. "Still with me, " he repeated, after each kiss.

As Xander traced his scars, it felt like the pain that had wrought them fell away... melted under his touch.  "Yeah... and I took you with me," he said, not glancing over, but knowing that the crumbling photo was lying on the nightstand.  He felt Xander shift his legs… slide it between his thighs.  Spike's body stirred, hardened as he became more aware of his lover.  "Didn't know if I'd ever want this again," he admitted, lifting his head.  "Now I don't think I could ever not want this... and you."

"I was so scared when I found you gone," Xander whispered, ashamed of his thoughts now that he knew what Spike had been through. "I thought you didn't want me anymore, thought you'd left me."
 
"And I was afraid you'd never listen to the message.  I remember how you were when I first came back.  So cold... so..." he swallowed.  "I didn't want to turn you into that pale imitation of yourself again."  Lowering his head, he kissed Xander again, a long, mind-drugging kiss, tasting him, teasing him, dueling with his tongue as if they had forever ahead of them.  He started to explore Xander's body, stroking his sides, rubbing his thumb over his nipple, feeling every shiver of his body.

Xander moaned softly, arching into Spike's touch, desperate to feel him again. "Oh God, I missed this, missed you." He reached out to Spike, mimicking the blond's movements, brushing his hands on his lover's body, searching for all the sensitive spots that made Spike squirm in pleasure.
 
Liquid heat inched through Spike's body, raising the intensity of his desire. Tossing the blankets off them, he started to undress Xander, uncovering skin one inch at a time, lowering his head, kissing Xander's shoulders, his chest, then lower—skimming his mouth back and forth across the waistband of his shorts—grinning when he felt a sharp nudge against his cheek.  "You want to be kissed there, do you?" he whispered, positioned right over Xander's cock now tenting his shorts.

"Fuck, yes," Xander moaned, pushing his hips up. "Need you, Spike. Want...oh, oh." Words disappeared as Spike pushed down his shorts and took him in. All Xander could think was hot and wet and Spike. He struggled to keep his eyes open, watching Spike suck him, blue eyes looking right back at him until he thought he would burst. "Too soon. Spike, too soon, stop."
 
Spike eased the pressure, slowly lifting his head until he was just kissing and tonguing Xander's tip... light touches, not intended to satisfy... even if what he wanted to do was take Xander in his hand and watch him come.  Thoughts of Xander coming apart like that had his cock hardening.  He got up on his knees, and pulled Xander up with him.  Very quickly, he guided Xander's hand to his cock, and took Xander’s in his own hand.  One arm around the brunet, he kissed him and stroked him, loving his every response, every catch of his breath, every thrust into his hand.

Xander consciously relaxed his body, letting Spike's smooth touch bring him back from the edge. But then he had Spike's cock in his hand, and his lover was kissing him hard—just like he loved—and the speed picked up again until he could hardly bear it. He broke the kiss, needing more than just touching, needing Spike... "Inside, Spike, please. Want to feel you inside me… prove you're really here." The words were accompanied by near desperate kisses on Spike's cheeks, eyes, mouth, anywhere Xander could reach.
 
It never failed to surprise Spike when Xander asked him to be on top, not that he cared where he was so long as he was with Xander.  "When I'm inside you, you'll be all around me," he answered hoarsely, "like a circle no one can break."  He slid his hand up and down Xander's side, then settled on his hips and started to turn him around.  Realizing he didn't want to break eye contact, he changed his mind and pushed Xander back, covering him with the full weight of his body as they kissed again.
 
Spike settled between Xander's thighs, slid his hands under his ass, and lifted him up.  He'd prepared him, but when his cock touched Xander's hole he forced himself to be extra gentle.  He'd hurt him the last time he'd fed while he was still crazed by what Kurn had done to him.  This time... it was going to be different, all different.  "Love you, Xan," he said, looking into velvety warm eyes as he slowly pushed inside.

"Yes, like that," Xander moaned, pushing down to feel more of Spike inside, his eyes never leaving the blond's. "You're here. Love you, Spike." He felt his body being slowly filled… Spike gentle and slow enough to make Xander want to scream. He waited as long as he could, wanting to give Spike the chance to work this his way. Then suddenly he snapped, hips pushing forward hard enough to force Spike all the way in. "Need to feel you, Spike."
 
A thin sheen of sweat covered Spike, who'd been concentrating so hard on exercising steely control to master his desire to start just fucking Xander—to find sweet release from the building pressure—that the boy's sudden move caught him by surprise.  Finding himself buried deep inside his lover, surrounded by him, his cock throbbed… every nerve in his body screaming to take him now.  He didn't want to lose control, but Xander made it hard, throwing a leg around Spike's waist, moving just so, pleading with his eyes and the way he clutched Spike's shoulder and ass, urging him to move.
 
Something shifted in Spike's brain... told him he wasn't Kurn... that he would never hurt Xander, but he would give him everything… love him in every way.  "You'll feel me... I'll make sure you feel me." He gave a mischievous smirk, kissed Xander hard, then started to fuck him hard and fast, kneeling slightly to gain purchase—pulling out halfway and groaning as Xander closed around him again and again.

Xander moaned in appreciation as Spike finally gave in and moved faster, harder, giving him exactly what he wanted. "Yes," he groaned, hissing out the word as his lover hit his prostate over and over again, exactly as he wanted, as he needed. "Oh God, Spike, so close...don't stop, never stop."
 
Spike was so close to the edge, he couldn't promise to 'never stop,' not like this anyway.  Lifting his head, he stared at the pulse point at the base of Xan's throat, watched it come alive and throb only for him.  Seeing the 'yes' in Xan's eyes, he licked the spot, desensitizing it, before piercing it with razor sharp teeth.  As sweet blood pulsed into his mouth, both of them slipped into the grip of the erotic web woven by blood lust.  Visions produced by Xander's imagination flitted through Spike's mind, teasing him, making him grow impossibly harder as he imagined both of them in fairy form... aroused and flying through the air, catching each other, fucking hard for a few minutes, then one of them flying away, only to be pursued and starting all over.
 
He was flying, lost in sensation, images chasing each other around his mind, all of them Spike, all of them loving him one way or another, with their hands and their bodies and their mouths. Xander tilted his head back further, as far as he could go, barely aware of his own hands pulling Spike closer, pressing him against his skin. "So close, don't stop, so close," he said, over and over again, begging for more with each breath, each touch, each whimper that escaped him.
 
"Oh yeah… right here, right here with you," Spike answered, muscles tightening and relaxing as he rode his lust, pounding into his lover, relentless, hot to find his release.  As the sounds they made rose to new heights, he gathered Xander close, gripping his hips, thrusting faster, short hard stabs that had them both careening off the edge, screaming each others' names.  White-hot heat exploded through Spike's system, blinding him to everything but the waves of pleasure crashing over him.  Slowing his movements, he licked Xander's throat, closing the wound, then lifted his head.  "You missed me, then?"  He gave a smug smirk and wiggled his hips one last time for effect. 
 
Xander groaned as Spike slipped out of him. "Missed you like you wouldn't believe," he replied, leaning up to kiss Spike's neck.
 
"I believe you just showed me.  Now I know why they say absence makes the heart grow fonder.  I think it makes other things grow too..."  He rolled onto his back and turned his head toward Xander.  "It's good to be home."
 
"Good to have you home." Xander followed Spike's movement, pressing their bodies close and resting his head on his lover's chest. "We need to figure out a way to keep you here. He can't have you back."
 
Spike was silent for a long moment.  "You know those brochures in your desk... for Hawaii?  I think it's time for a short vacation."
 
"Will that get rid of him?" Xander looked up at Spike. "No," he said, answering his own question. He lifted himself up, turning so he lay on his stomach, facing Spike. "I know enough to understand what's going on, so you don't have to break any rules telling me. We need to deal with him, Spike. If I lose you again I..." Xander shook his head, trying to swallow past the lump suddenly blocking his throat. "We need to deal with him," he repeated. 
 
"I'm going to deal with him, Xan.  I promise... I'll deal with him," he answered, eyes growing ominously dark as he imagined putting that vampire fairy in his place.  "My debt is paid... I owed only a few days, so he bought those days and kept me longer.  The warriors won't be coming with him this time, and he has no idea that his threats won't protect him this time.  Don't plan to let him live to tell his lies about you.  Now let's take a look at those pamphlets... I'll join you after Kurn's gone."
 
It took a few seconds for Xander to understand what Spike meant for him to do. He was to run away and hide while Spike dealt with the guy that had hurt him and tortured him to the point that Spike had forgotten all about Xander. A picture of Spike as he had found him in that room blew up in Technicolor in Xander's head.
 
"The fuck you will."
 
"The fuck I WILL," Spike echoed, only louder.  "You're human, he's not.  Won't have you in the middle of this.  You have to trust me to do this.  I'm good for much more than this bed and ... and playing wife, yeah?  Just because I'm not violent, doesn't mean I can't be.  It's in our nature."
 
"You never said you...I never though of you as the wife!" Xander protested, getting louder as he spoke, "I don't care about all that. And what the fuck do you mean I'm just human! I'm not leaving you here alone to face that bastard and that is final!"
 
"Shshsh," Spike stroked Xander's face.  "I can't see you get hurt again... not ever again.  You don't know how it was for me, watching from inside that bottle when your father was on a drunken warpath.  Kurn is a hundred times your father.  You versus him is like me, when I was a boy, versus your father.  So I want you on the warm sands of Hawaii—I want to know you're safe... don't you see?"

Xander stepped back from Spike's touch, shaking with anger and fear. "No. What I see is you wanting to deal with the guy who carved you up and hung you from the ceiling without me here. I found you. I brought you back. I'm not just some human boy who can't help. I'm not leaving."
 
Spike stretched out and prevented him from getting completely off the bed.  "You saved me... now let me save myself."
 
Xander sat back down heavily. "Can't you do that while I watch? I won't get involved if you don't want me to, but I can't just leave."
 
Sitting up, Spike put his arms around Xander.  "Let me think on it, yeah?"


~*~*~*~*~


Kurn screamed and threatened, begged and cajoled, but the warriors had remained firm. Spike had paid his debt in full, and he couldn't do anything about it. He'd lost his big chance to have the bastard at his mercy, but that didn't mean he'd give up quite so easily. He'd seen another fairy steal his toy away, and, at first, he hadn't realized quite who that fairy was. Now though, flying outside their apartment window looking in, he recognized Spike's human boy. Spike had broken the rules, and Kurn could use that to his advantage. He smiled at the sleeping couple and flew away to wait for the new day to dawn. The boy would have to go to work at some point and then Kurn would make his move.


~*~*~*~*~


Spike walked out of the apartment with Xander, looked around and across the street, before turning back and kissing him lightly.  "Don't be late tonight."

"I'm gonna leave early. Don't open the door to anyone, okay? Please?" Xander hovered on the doorstep for a while, unwilling to leave yet. "Love you, Spike."

"Won't.  Learned my lesson, yeah?"  With one last long look, Spike walked inside and locked the door.


~*~*~*~*~


Kurn watched the boy leave. He was tempted to just follow him and take his revenge on the human instead of Spike, but no, revenge would be sweeter if he could see Spike's eyes, watch the bastard finally break. As soon as the boy turned the corner, Kurn grew to his full size and stalked to the door.  "Open up, Spike, you have a visitor," he sing-songed, tapping on the door.
 
Spike leaned against the door and whispered just loud enough for Kurn to hear.  "No... I've done my time... you kept me longer than I owed, I'm not coming with you.  Go home... get help... you're a sick, sick fairy."

"Aw come on, Blondie, don't get all upset with me...I just want to see you. Your little human looked so dashing saving your skinny ass—I was nice enough not to inform the warriors of what he knows. I'm not sure how long I'll feel this generous though...in fact, I think my generosity is leaking away." Kurn smiled to himself, sure that Spike would open the door now that he knew his pet was in danger.
 
Spike slowly opened the door, watching Kurn, stepping back as Kurn walked toward him.  "Don't touch me ... I've had enough of that..."  he swallowed and kept backing up.  "Kurn, you're obsessed... this isn't right... the warriors won't back you on this.  Listen to reason.  Please?"  Blue eyes pleaded with cold, black eyes glazed with fever.  Hot and cold, like the overlord.

"Begging already? I thought I'd have to push for that," Kurn laughed, as he passed the doorstep. "You told him, Spike. He couldn't have known unless you told him and that is against the rules. You know that."
 
"Fuck..." Spike swore out of desperation.  "I didn't tell him, I swear I didn't tell him how to get there.  He's a smart boy."  Just the knowledge was enough to earn a human a death sentence—they both knew that.  "Leave us alone... you... you got what you wanted.  You've done enough..."  Spike's hip hit the kitchen counter in the exact spot where he'd been when Kurn made him take his blood and then got off rubbing up against him that first time.

"That's not how it looks, Spike, and you know how these warriors are, all kill first ask questions later," Kurn said, approaching Spike until he had the blond pressed back against the counter.
 
Spike put his hands on the overlord's chest, leaning back to put as much distance between them as their positions would allow.  "Why are you doing this to me?  Why?"  It didn't happen often to their people, but Spike knew that Kurn had gone mad.  That nothing he said would get through, that nothing he did, short of ending his life, would stop this obsession.  He could smell Kurn's arousal, could see the triumph in the other fairy’s eyes.  "This sickens me," he said, putting his hands on the counter on either side of his body... leaving himself open to Kurn.

Kurn pressed his advantage, pushing against Spike. "I don't really care, Blondie. Now..." he said, as he reached up to trail a finger down Spike's left cheekbone, "are you coming back with me, or am I calling the warriors down on your human?"
 
"You're not giving me any good choices here."  A fire leapt into Spike's gaze.  "Not taking either of them."  His voice grew louder, more confident, and he gripped Kurn's shoulders, preventing him from moving away, as he kneed him hard... once, twice, and again.   Pulling his fist back, Spike put all the built-up hatred behind a punch that sent Kurn hurtling across to the wall.

Kurn had been so sure of his victory, Spike would do anything for his little human after all, that he'd been completely unprepared for the attack. He offered no resistance, felt nothing but shock and eye-tearing pain, as he slammed against the wall. He slid down to the floor, taking a moment to regroup.

"You'll regret this, Blondie," he snarled, as he got back on his feet.
 
"We'll see about that, won't we?"  Spike hadn't fought back before, because he hadn’t been prepared to kill the overlord and had needed to protect Xander—but if the overlord couldn't tell his tales, then Xander would be safe.  There were only two choices... kill or be killed, and Spike had no intention of giving up his life with Xander.  He ran toward Kurn, aiming a flying kick toward Kurn's center.
 
The kick connected, but Kurn grabbed his leg, and then they were at each other’s throats... rolling on the ground, each fighting harder... fighting for his life.  Furniture broke.  Glass shattered.  Blood spilled.  Words of hate spewed from their mouths. 
 
Arm pressed down across Kurn's throat, Spike held Kurn down.  That was when he felt the other fairy’s erection.  Anger boiled his blood.  "Die, sick bastard," he bit out, aiming a karate chop to the overlord's throat, and getting up.  Blood dripped from his forehead onto Kurn's face.  Just then, the door opened and Spike looked over at Xander.  "It's done."

Xander stepped into the apartment, not giving a shit about the twenty-minute rule. Spike had only allowed him to stay if he left the apartment for a full twenty minutes. Xander was back at fourteen and a half. The first thing he saw was blood.

"Oh fuck, he hurt you." He hurried to Spike's side, glaring once at the crumpled form on the floor. He'd wanted his turn at the guy—wanted to kick the bastard's ass for even looking at Spike in hatred.
 
"Hurt him worse.  You're early." He wiped his forehead and hid a smile. 

"Yeah, well, I kept seeing you hanging from that ceiling," Xander replied, running his hands all over Spike, making sure that he was still there, still in one piece.
 
"So did I... that's why he's dead." He put an arm around Xander, holding him close.  "He'll go back to fairy form... should be easy to get rid of.  You..." he scanned Xander's face, "you're all right with ... with this... I had to, you know?"

Xander stared at his lover. "Are you insane?! Of course I'm all right with this! I'm more than all right with this! The only thing I feel is relief that the bastard is gone." Xander kicked Kurn as hard as he could. "And anger. And maybe some regret that I wasn't here to help you kill him dead."
 
Spike tugged Xander away from Kurn.  "You're okay with it now... but later..." he gave a one-shouldered shrug.  "This doesn't quite fit your idea of the fairy you grew up with."

"Spike, I grew up with Tony Harris. I know the difference between protecting yourself and hurting others just for the fun of it." Xander stepped close and reached out to touch him. "You wouldn't hurt me for the world. Hell, it took being tortured for you to hurt Kurn, and he's a bastard."
 
"I did hurt you once," Spike closed his eyes as Xander probed his injuries.  "Wasn't thinking straight though.  Can you take some time off?  We'll go to Hawaii and have lots of cokes..."

"No, weren't thinking straight," Xander agreed softly, dropping a kiss on Spike's lips. "I already got the time off and booked the tickets. We'll go to Hawaii, yes. Have a great time, just the two of us."
 
"You did?!"  Spike's eyes flew open.  "When... we're taking an airplane... we're going to fly... I mean fly in a plane... with metal wings that don't move and...."  Caught up in the excitement, he completely forgot about Kurn and everything they'd gone through.  "You know, I might be the first fairy ever to be inside an airplane."

Xander grinned, delighting in Spike's excitement. "First fairy ever, huh? Makes you even more special, that."
 
He grinned back, eyes flashing with mischief.  "I heard this phrase... mile-high club... you think we might want to join it?"

Kurn licked his lips.  The droplets of blood from Spike’s injuries had revived him, though he was quite crippled.  Best to make an escape and come back more prepared.  Listening to their love talk, he knew it would be an easy matter to torture both of them.  Just touch the other and watch them wail.  Let the dark haired one watch while he had Spike over and over again... As the wheels spun in his head, a malicious smile formed on his lips.  They didn't know who they were dealing with.  Overlord Kurn always came out on top. The shift to fairy form took longer than usual and every bit of energy he had.  He unfurled his wings and started to fly up toward the window.

Xander caught the movement from the corner of his eye. He snapped around, just in time to see Kurn shift into fairy form. Acting instinctively, he grabbed a vase and shoved Kurn inside, holding his hand over the top. He'd practiced this move when he was a boy, anxious to grab a fairy to keep as his own. This move had gotten him Spike, and now, well now it got him Spike's enemy.

He looked at the clear glass glaring at the screaming fairy inside. "Can I stomp on him now? You did your thing and he's all caged and now I can play. Please, can I stomp him?"
 
Spike peered into the glass and watched Kurn's face flush to a dark scarlet as he waved his hands around and called out threats.  So long as he was alive, it would never be over.  "Stomp him," he declared, straightening.  "Might do him some good to see how it feels to have a thousand shards of glass cutting into him."

"Oh goody," Xander laughed and bounced with glee. "Hear that, little bastard? This is your end." He turned the vase over and placed it on the floor. He lifted his foot, ready to bring it down on Kurn. "Spike? Does this make me psychotic? Wanting to stomp him all pancake flat, I mean?"
 
"No.  Makes you my hero... hurry up, and don't cut yourself," Spike answered, noting that Xander had his heavy work boots on. 

"I can live with that," Xander replied, and he brought his foot the rest of the way down.
 
A high-pitched scream announced the end.  "Lift your foot," Spike said, bending down and picking up Kurn's broken remains.  "I'll be right back, yeah?  You start packing." He walked down the hall, entered the bathroom, then dropped the overlord's carcass into the toilet—flushing it with gusto.  Then he washed his hands and stared into the mirror until his wounds closed, healed and were magically cleansed, before coming out to find Xander.
 
"What... what is that Hawaiian shirt doing tied about your waist?" he asked, his pulse jumping as his otherwise naked lover walked toward him shaking his hips.  "Nooo, nooo don't do that, not now..." his gaze traveled up and down Xander's bare chest.  "Then we'll be late... and have to run to catch the plane... and maybe miss it... Xan..." 

"Plane won't leave ‘til tonight, we have time to," Xander wiggled his eyebrows, "dance a while."

He didn't have a prayer of a chance at resisting… none!  Groaning at his weakness, he cupped Xander's face with his hands and kissed him.  Heat spread slowly but surely with every motion of his tongue and mouth, building, growing hotter with every sound his lover made.

"Have to...oh, don't stop that," Xander moaned as Spike did that thing with his tongue that drove him crazy, "call Willow. Remind me to do that before we leave, and didn't I tell you not to stop that?" Xander whined as Spike lifted his head to smile at him.
 
"Right... not stopping... you can buy us new tickets if we miss the plane." He slanted his mouth over Xander's and kissed him senseless. There were some things that could wait... and then again, there were some things that couldn't.




The End





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