Fandom: BTVS
Pairing/Character: Spander, of course.
Rating/Warnings: Character death, slash, major angst.
Prompt:This prompt is from [info]eithnex "Any line from Shinedowns "Save Me" maybe a little comfort after the hurt?"
Summary:  Spike deals with Xander's death
Disclaimer: I hired a pack of ninjas to kidnap Joss; he was threatened with hot poker torture and chainsaws so I could meet the real him. I now own all. Thank you.   Or not.



Tears Like Rivers


by
Vinniebatman



The ratty couch was surrounded by empty bottles of Jack Daniels.  He'd wanted to die, wanted to become nothing.  Only Dawn's tearful begging had kept him from walking into the sunlight.  It had been so new, they had been so new.  After months of mocking the now-human Angel, Spike and Xander had moved on to other activities- mocking Giles, mocking Andrew, even pulling pranks on Faith if there was an escape route planned.  They had made the new Slayer's Academy lively, giving the girls there a sense of normalcy.  Slowly, Spike had fallen for Xander, and after a few months, Xander had figured it out.  There had only been a handful of dates, a handful of kisses. 

And now Xander was gone, his body torn apart by vampires out to make a name for themselves. They hadnít survived long after the discovery of Xanderís corpse.

"My poor little Spike. The light has gone out in your heart."

Spikeís head snapped up toward the bedroom.

"Dru. What are you doing here?" The dark-haired vampire stood, smiling, a body cradled in her arms. The bodyís heart was silent.

"I was having tea with the Princes at the Tower when I heard such a sad song. My poor little kitten was crying. The dirty fledges were biting, tearing at him, making him scream. Then he died and his song followed me around and around. It didnít want to go away. And the stars told me that my little Spike would break."

"You knew about Xan?" he asked, his voice breaking. Her description of the murder could only mean Xander's murder.  Hearing her words brought the pain forward, tears slipping.

"Yes, so I got my Spike a present." She smiled proudly as she walked forward, placing the corpse in Spikeís lap. It was a dark-haired young man, no older than 20, wrapped in a blanket. "I found a gypsy and made him tell me their secrets."

Spike groaned. "Dru, the last thing I need is to get caught with a murdered gypsy by his angry family."

Drusilla laughed. "Silly Spike. Heís not a gypsy." The smile faded from her face as she knelt, brushing the hair from the boyís face. "He was so sad, crying until his tear were rivers, like Alice." She lifted his hands up, the blanket falling partly away from his nude body. The wrists were criss-crossed with old scars. "So I let him float away and the gypsy gave him a new song, Kittenís song. Heís yours now."

Raising her eyes to Spike's, she smiled. "Now you wonít be broken. Mummy made the glue." Standing, she drifted away from the couch and headed to the door. She left, her voice floating down the hall. "Mummy fixed it all up." 

Spike stared at the doorway. Dru had given him a fledge, one heíd have to stake. Looking down, he sighed. The boy was beautiful, thick brown hair and full lips. The pain flared again.  He bore a slight resemblance to Xander, which certainly didnít help the situation any. Then his eyelids fluttered open. Chocolate brown eyes stared back at him, confused.

The boy frowned, then spoke. "S-sire?" He closed his eyes and opened them again. "No, not my Sire.  What happened?"

He studied his body, moving the blanket to reveal his body entirely. His eyes quickly met Spikeís again, scared. "Spike, that is not my penis."

Spikeís world crashed again as puzzle pieces clicked together. And the for the first time in three weeks, he smiled.


well Iíve got a candle and Iíve got a spoon
I live in a hallway with no doors and no rooms
and under a windowsill they all were found
a touch of concrete within the doorway without a sound

someone save me if you will
and take away all these pills
and please just save me if you can
from my blasphemy in my wasteland

how did I get here and what went wrong
couldnít handle forgiveness now Iím far beyond gone
and I can hardly remember the look of my own eyes
how could I love this a life so dishonest it made me compromise

jump in the water
jump in with me
jump on the alter lay down with me
the hardest question to answer is why
somebody save me
please donít erase me




The End




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