I am not Joss.
This was based on a prompt for the weirdest place for a Spander first kiss. Credit for the prompt goes to Lady Q



There was blood on the ropes, slicking them so the hands that were scrambling to untie the knots could find no purchase. The way they were shaking probably didn't help.

Spike cursed as his hands slipped again.

"You're swearing in British," said Xander, slurring a bit from the blood loss but mostly conscious. "We're not going to die, are we? We stopped the... thing. The bad thing."

"Yeah, love. We stopped the Apocalypse." And Spike didn't give a damn about the categories Xan had invented. Any time he risked losing Xander deserved a capital A.

Xander nodded. "Right, no acapolypseses. So don't- don't let the..." Spike got the rope over Xander's chest off, and immediately replaced it with his hand to keep him from sitting up.

"You'll get dizzy," he said, and Xander pouted. And Spike, who couldn't help himself and didn't really want to, leaned down and kissed Xander.

It was a good kiss.

It wasn't their first.



The air was kinda... bubbly.

That was the only way Xander could describe it, really. He could breathe it, but it bubbled a little, like really cold ginger ale when it was just by his nose. And the ground was a little bit wavy, but when Xander paid a little bit of attention to where he was going he didn't stumble. He could feel the gentle tug of Willow's tether spell like a rope around his waist, and he could feel the other spell like a line from his chest to where they were keeping Spike. It fortunately didn't take him long to get to his vampire-boyfriend - the bubbly air made him want to sneeze.

Willow had warned him not to sneeze.

"Spike," he called quietly. The vampire appeared at the window of his prison, and just like every time, Xander's breath caught in his chest.

"Aren't you a little short for a Stormtrooper?" joked Spike, and Xander grinned and kissed him.

It was a good kiss.

It wasn't their first.



"Damnit, this is your fault," whispered Xander as they crouched in the baking aisle of the local grocery store.

"You're the demon magnet," Spike retorted.

"You killed their clan leader."

"After you enraged him."

"By wearing that new shirt that you picked for me."

"Well, that wouldn't have been a problem if we'd taken it off like I wanted."

"Yeah, well, if we'd just stayed home, I would've. You know I don't like sex in graveyards. It's too..."

"B Horror?" said Spike.


"What, and demons in the supermarket isn't too Evil Dead?"

Xander blinked at him. "You watched Evil Dead?"

Spike looked down. "Yeah, well... you like it, so-"

Xander grabbed him by the shirt collar, shoved him against the icing sugar, and kissed him.

It was a good kiss.

It wasn't their first.



Xander tentatively took Spike's hand as they meandered through the gravestones.

"What, are you twelve?" said Spike, but didn't let go. Xander shrugged. "You okay?"

"Yeah. It's just... Buffy was really mad."

Spike nodded, and put his arm around Xander's shoulder. "Slayer thinks I'm takin' advantage."

"You're not."

"I know. Sooner or later, so will she." Spike gave Xander's shoulder a quick squeeze. "Red's okay with us, though."

"Yeah," said Xander, feeling a little lighter. It was good, not to be hiding this from Willow anymore. "That might be because she thinks you're a good influence on my wardrobe."

"Didn't I tell you that shirt would look good on you?" He paused. "Look even better off you..."

"Way too cheesy to work. Besides, I don't like sex in graveyards." Spike pouted. Xander shook his head. "Still not as good as Dawn's pout, Spike. In the art of Pout-Fu, you're barely a trainee." He turned to face Spike, though, and took his boyfriend's hands in his. "I'll give you points for effort, though," he said, and kissed him.

It was a good kiss.

It wasn't their first.



Spike feinted left, and jabbed with his right - Xander barely had time to dodge, but he managed it. He swung his fist as hard as he could at the vampire's head, but he missed, and stumbled forwards a step or two. Spike saw his opportunity, and lunged.

"Ha!" said Spike. "I win!"

Xander grinned up at him, face flushed and sweaty. "Oh, you do, do you?" He bucked his hips up, and Spike quickly found himself flipped over, back to the mat and wrists caught in the human's hands. "I think I win."

"I think I can live with that," said Spike. He grinned up seductively at the human. "So now you've won me; what are you going to do with me?"

"I can think of a thing or two," said Xander. He leaned down and, unfortunately just moments before Buffy walked in, kissed Spike.

It was a good kiss.

It wasn't their first.



Xander had wrenched his knee pretty badly at work, and the doctor had told him to stay off of it for a day or two. The limp it had given him was dramatic, and Willow had flat-out refused to let Xander patrol until he was better. Giles had agreed, and driven Xander home.

Spike had given no excuse. But, considering that she didn't like him very much, anyway, Buffy wasn't about to complain.

Xander had simply assumed that Spike's illegal cable was on the fritz, and that he wanted to watch the Man U match. Xander didn't mind. He'd gotten into soccer, a little bit, when Spike had been living with him, so he turned on the game without a word.

It was weird, how normal it seemed.

Weird, to be sitting at home, to have Spike sitting next to him on the couch, to be able to relax and have a beer and watch sports on TV without having to worry about the next apocalypse for a while.

It was weird, how comfortable this silence was - how comfortable this vampire was, sitting beside him on his couch.

Xander's mouth felt very dry all of a sudden, and he reached for his beer. Spike was reaching for the Doritos at the same time, and their fingers touched. "Sorry," said Xander, pulling back.

"Don't be," said Spike, and that was weird, too. Don't be. Not, Sorry for what? or Nah, my fault, or even, Yeah, you should be. Don't be.

Spike glanced at Xander. Xander, meanwhile, had glanced at Spike. Their glances caught, tangled, blue eyes drawn to brown, brown eyes drawn to certain other aspects of the face. It was magnetic.

It was weird, how natural this felt.

Someone scored, and the television cheered as they drew back from each other.

Xander spoke first. "That was..."

"Weird?" said Spike. "Yeah. But..."

"Good," agreed Xander.

It had been a good kiss, weird as it was. It had been very good, thought Xander as he brought his thumb up to brush along Spike's lips. And, well, he kind of wanted another.


But good.

The End

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