Spike/Xander, research in the library. Also, Doctor Who. (The Doctor is sneaking his sneaky way into all of these prompts, it seems.)
Prompted by [info]mind_the_tardis. This ficlet borders on embarrassment-squicky slapstick porn. It must be Xander's presence which is doing that.

Xander Harris
And The Manifold Joys Of Scientific Research


Some days, Xander Harris wonders if the universe does actually have a sentient personality, and, further, if in one of his previous lives, he did something to make that personality absolutely hate his guts. He figures he must have. There is no other explanation for all the ridiculous, humiliating, embarrassing and plain bizarre situations he has ended up in during the course of his life.

Right now, he is kneeling under the counter in the school library, uncomfortably bending his back in order to fit into the tight space, and hardly able to breathe. The latter is due to Spike's cock, which is shoved half-way down his throat.

It had all started simple enough. Spike and he had been researching their current case, something about a disappearing phone box, when Spike had given him That Look. Xander knows That Look and its meaning well enough, and not two minutes later, he had been on his knees under the counter, sucking vampire cock. Business as usual.

Until Giles had shown up. Xander had felt a hand settle on the top of his head, and had heard a hissed "Don't move!", and then there had been the sound of a stack of books being dropped on the counter, and Giles' voice, inquiring about the progress of their research.

Xander isn't sure if his sense of time is to be relied on right now, but it feels like he's been kneeling here, motionless and drooling all over himself, for roughly five hours. Spike isn't any less hard than he was when they started out. Maybe it's Giles' voice that does it for him. The librarian has been talking since the moment he walked in.

"The interesting thing about this case," Giles is lecturing, "is that there are reports of this phone box all throughout history. You have to know what you're looking for, but if you care to look at these cross-references--"

Xander tunes him out and tries to swallow without making too much of a slurping sound. His success is quite mediocre, but his attempts have an unexpected side effect. As he swallows, his tongue presses upwards against Spike's cock, and the vampire twitches.

There's a brief pause in Giles' droning. "Are you all right, Spike?"

"Yeah. Sure. Fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

Xander hears the tension in Spike's voice, and if his mouth weren't occupied, he'd be pulling it into a slow smile. If there's anything that life has taught him so far, it's that every situation, no matter how screwed up, offers opportunities if you only care to look for them.

He shifts a little, trying to angle his head in a more convenient way, and begins to work his throat--sucking, swallowing, pressing his tongue up against Spike's cock as best as he can without making any sound. The hand that's resting on his head tightens its grip, pulling his hair and attempting to push him back, but Xander resists. Oh no, Mr. Vampire. You wanted to get sucked off, now you're getting sucked off.

". . . a reference in this old Aramaic text, which mentions the box as well as a 'man in colourful garment', which is evocative of the biblical tale of Joseph, son of Jacob, who--are you sure you're all right?"

"Yes!" Just as Spike starts to speak, Xander flicks his tongue, and Spike's answer comes out a lot more high-pitched than usual. "Yes, I'm fine. Do carry on."

"Very well. As I said, it is evocative of the story of Joseph, son of Jacob, who was, as the scripture states, the owner of a coat of many--"

Xander tips his head forward and tightens his throat muscles, eliciting an audible gasp from Spike. Giles breaks off again.

"Really, Spike, if there's something wrong--"

"Nothing is wrong, Gi-- Giles." Spike sounds like he's speaking through gritted teeth, and the hand in Xander's hair tightens again. "Continue."

Xander can taste the familiar tang of precome and doubles his efforts. He's rock-hard himself; even the monotonous droning of Giles' voice isn't enough to dampen his arousal. He reaches down to awkwardly grope at his crotch, the limitations of the tight space he's in doing nothing to diminish his enthusiasm. The voices above him fade out to a low background hum as he focuses on teasing and sucking and groping and pushing Spike over the edge.

Finally, he succeeds. Spike's fingers in his hair tighten, his posture goes rigid, and a moment later, Xander is busy swallowing as best as he can, trying not to let too much go amiss. It really wouldn't do to make a mess here underneath the library counter.

Then Spike is done, his cock in Xander's mouth starts to soften, and Xander's senses begin to pick up signals from his immediate surroundings again. Or they would, if there were any. The library is dead silent.

Xander stays where he is, not moving a muscle, trying to breathe as shallowly as possible. Eventually, there's Giles' voice again, sounding oddly put out. "Spike, where's Xander?"

Spike shifts, his legs moving back and away, which makes his cock finally slip out of Xander's mouth. Xander figures Spike must be leaning on the counter.

"D'you really want me to answer that question, Giles?"

Brief silence.

"No." Now Giles sounds more than just put out. "No, I don't think I want you to answer that question, Spike. I-- I have to go. I'll be-- I'll see you later. Research. To attend to. Yes."

Xander can hear footsteps, moving away, and he doesn't need to look up to know that Spike is smiling a broad smile that shows far too many of his teeth. He closes his eyes. He's not wondering anymore if the universe hates him; it's painfully obvious that it does. What he's wondering now is how he could ever have doubted that he fully deserves it.

The End

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