Fandom: BtVS (Spike/Xander)
Prompt:tamingthemuse #298- covet &
kinda_gay pop culture challenge
Warnings: Misuse of religious texts. Language. m/m relationship (nothing graphic though)
Rating: Somewhere between PG-13 and R
Summary: Spike and Xander rewriting the ten commandments to suit themselves and their relationship.
Blue is Xander, Black is Spike.
A/N: Yes, there is blatant misuse of religious text here. Please don’t shout at me for it. It was something that got thrown out in a conversation re: my lack of inspiration, so I took it and ran with it, mostly to see what I could come up with. This is the result.
Yeah, Xan, this is a long term thing. So it’s my turn then?
Oh, thanks, Spike. Yeah, read the sarcasm. I in no way love twinkies more than I love Babylon 5.
Y’know, they make these books now, with words in, and the words are listed alphabetically, and there’s a definition next to each word. It’s called a dictionary. ‘Whelp’ is listed in these dictionaries. Look it up. And it means you won’t be allowed to call me deadboy junior or fangless, so I like that rule. My turn again?
You’re so romantic. If you loved me, you would help out a bit more instead of slouching on tomb stones trying to look sexy and alluring. Ha, this is one we’ll have to take out all together I think…
Angelus is not my father. My father died a long time ago and I’ll not have you speaking ill of my family. My mum was a good lady. Now shut up and let me have my turn.
If that’s the best you’ll agree to, I guess… Do you even have friends? I thought you had ‘demons I can still play poker with’ and ‘demons I cheated at poker with’? Don’t scowl at me. And don’t show me those fangs. You’re not scary when you’re pouting in game face…
I promise. But you should know me well enough by now, pet. I’m love’s bitch. I’ll stay with you until you leave or until one of us dies. And if you die first, I’ll be out by your grave, waiting for the sunrise. I love you, Alexander LaVelle Harris. Don’t forget it…
Spike, I’ll buy your blood for you. I’ll be like your sugar daddy. Or sugar great great great great great… no, that’s too many greats… I’ll be your sugar kid. Oh, god no- that sounds wrong!
Hey! I have never said that my bleach is the Slayers. We use different shades of blonde, for a start. She uses natural ash blonde, and I use absolute platinum. Shouldn’t you know something that important by now? Last one. Good.
Yeah, Spike. I got it. I love you, and your firm, sexy, bitable ‘arse’.
Xan? Pet? Love of my life? Never try to do an English accent again, or we’re goin’ to have problems.