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PAIRING: Spike/Xander
SUMMARY: I took 4 points in Spike and Xander's relationship and imagined how their first time together might have gone if it had occurred at that time. The 5th is how I like to imagine it might have gone when it finally happened.

Four Ways ...

Spank Spike

Four Ways Spike And Xander's First Time Might Have Gone - And How It Really Did

1 When Spike Was Evil -

Who did Angelus think he was dealing with? Spike thought, smoke curling around his moonlit face. He wasn't some fledge who couldn't tell a con when he heard one. Obviously his old sire was sorely mistaken if he'd thought Spike could be fooled that easily by a smiling face offering up some tender bit of boy as if he were a meal they should share.

Now the sound of skateboard wheels moving down the sidewalk made the vampire smile, and knowing Angelus would blame himself for everything Spike was about to do made the plan all the sweeter. Spike was still smiling as he dropped his cigarette onto the grass, extinguishing it with the toe of his boot and pulling back into the shadow cast by the bushes next to the boy's house.

The two and a half hours Spike had waited were definitely going to be worth it. He'd followed the boy's scent here with surprising ease, the strong smell of his fear on the bit of torn t-shirt Spike still had in his pocket more than enough for him to find his way. Then he'd put on his handsomest, and most innocent smile and knocked on the door. The boy's mother was just drunk enough to believe he was a teenager on a date with a flat tire, and had invited him in to use the phone.

Spike did love the plump, middle-aged ones - a bit of flattery for their out-dated hairstyles and fashion-sense and they were ready to believe anything. He'd already tested the small window that led to the basement and found it easy enough to open, so he only needed to give the boy time to get inside and fall asleep.

Sensitive ears picked up movement inside the house and Spike looked up as a light went on in the upstairs window on the same side of the house he was standing near. As he settled in to wait, lighting another cigarette and leaning against the heavy bush next to him, Spike knew it wouldn't be long now. The amount of adrenaline the boy had been pumping as Spike's old sire offered him up as a snack should have been more than enough to leave him feeling exhausted.


Sure enough, barely fifteen minutes elapsed before Spike saw the light go out again. Another thirty minutes went by and the vampire figured enough time had passed that he'd find the boy sound asleep.

Slipping through the open basement window and moving silently up the stairs, Spike made his way to the boy's room. He paused momentarily at a second bedroom door, hearing the heavy snores of two humans coming from inside. The stench of alcohol wafting from the small space where the door hadn't been closed properly was enough to tell him that dear old mom and dad wouldn't be waking up anytime soon.

Once in the boy's room, Spike closed the door quietly, freezing when the lock snicked into place. The boy's breathing continued in the same relaxed manner, undisturbed by the tiny noise of his bedroom door being locked, unaware of the monster that stood at the foot of his bed.

When he was certain the boy hadn't woken, Spike shucked off his leather duster, feeling in the pocket for the lengths of cord he'd brought with him before draping the jacket over a chair in the corner. Grasping each wrist and ankle in turn, he gently maneuvered the boy's arms and legs into position, tying one strip of cord around each extremity and fastening it to a corresponding bedpost.

After the boy was securely fastened to the bed, Spike stood back and admired his handiwork. He'd considered turning the boy facedown, which would have afforded easier access and a spectacular view of the pert young arse this one sported - but there was nothing like looking into the eyes of a man as you took something from him he could never recover. Besides, he would've risked waking the boy while getting him into position and he wanted everything ready for him before the kid woke up.

Spike bent and untied his boots, toeing them off as he stood to pull his t-shirt over his head and toss it on top of his jacket. Less than a minute later and his jeans had joined the rest of his kit hanging over the chair in the corner. The slight breeze coming through the partially open window next to the boy's bed was sending a lovely breeze over his tackle as his cock hardened the final bit, pointing toward the boy like a compass needle pointing to magnetic North.

That only left finding something to fill the boy's gaping mouth to ensure no one heard his screams. Spike stroked himself firmly a few times in response to the fantasy that immediately filled his brain with suggestions of ways to stuff that pretty mouth. But not having any desire to lose his manhood to the shiny, blunt teeth he could see behind the boy's slack lips, Spike discarded that impulse and instead settled for the dirty sock he spied on the floor next to the bed.

Bending to retrieve it, he continued pulling himself in long steady strokes. It had been a while since he'd had a human hole wrapped round his cock, and even longer since that orifice belonged to a man, so he was sure that part wouldn't last long anyway. Didn't matter that much to Spike if the sex went fast though, because as soon as he started shagging him, he knew the boy's blood would be so sweet with fear that the real thrill would be draining him.

He jammed the sock into the boy's open mouth, sure that would wake him - but the dark-haired boy only snorted a little and continued to sleep. Eyebrows arched in surprise, Spike circled to the foot of the bed and snatched the blankets off the boy's lax body, dumping them in a heap on the rug.

Still nothing.

Wow - this was going to be one tough nut to crack. Spike's eyes honed in on the space between the boy's spread and bound legs, staring at the thick cock already hard and resting on the boy's belly. Ahh, teenagers - bless 'em.

Settling in a kneeling position between the spread thighs, Spike tried to remember what Angelus had said the boy's name was. Randy… Franky… Sandy… or some such… No, it was Xander.

Pleased with himself, Spike leaned over the boy, bracing himself on his hands and dipping his face down until it was near the boy's ear. "Xander-r-r-r," he purred, "wake up Xander. Daddy's got a pressie for you."

The boy's head whipped up off the pillow, long floppy hair brushing one sharp, vampire cheekbone as he woke with a start. The sounds of surprise he attempted were satisfactorily blocked by the none-too-fresh sweat sock currently overflowing from his mouth.

Sitting back on his heels, Spike looked down at the boy's wet brown eyes, cock twitching at the fear there as Xander squirmed to the fullest extent of his ability. The wince of pain that clouded the boy's eyes as his struggles caused the cord he was secured with to bite into his flesh was enough to send a thick drop of pre-come oozing from Spike's slit as his prick jumped again.

He smiled down at the boy, whispering to himself, "Good plan, Spike. This'll teach Angelus not to start something he can't finish." Then louder, for the boy's ears, "See what I have for you?"

Pressing up on his knees so his cock would be in Xander's line of sight, Spike handled it roughly, pulling his foreskin back and forth with rough strokes as he spoke. "Ever had one of these before, whelp?" The further widening of the boy's eyes told him the answer was no, and the tiny shiver he saw pass through the young body sent an answering one rocketing through his own.

The vampire splayed his own thighs, nudging the boy's on top of his as he braced himself on one hand, lining the wide head of his cock up with the boy's opening. Once in place, pressed to the small pucker, Spike's eyes flicked back the boy's, "In for a treat then, boy."

There was a moment where Spike could sense every muscle in the boy's body tense, his head shaking violently in disagreement with what the vampire was about to do. Never one to let a little unwillingness from a potential partner put him off, especially one as young and tender as this one; Spike smiled widely with just the barest hint of fang and drove forward.

Inhaling the additional burst of pheromones that came off the boy when he realized that he wasn't just in for a good violating, but probably destined to become a late-night snack as well, Spike began to thrust in earnest. The blood from the tearing of Xander's dry and unprepared flesh quickly eased the way for Spike's strokes as he set up a punishing rhythm, driving in harder each time the boy whimpered beneath him, cock now soft and curled like a sad question mark in the dark nest of curls at his groin.

As tears began to flow freely from Xander's still wide eyes, Spike lowered closer to his face to lick them away. "Angelus offered you to me, boy. Jus' cause I wasn't meant to really have you doesn't mean I can't decide to take him up on his offer."

Letting his fangs lengthen completely, forehead ridged with vampiric features, Spike bent, scraping Xander's throat with the sharp points and bringing droplets of blood to the surface. As he lapped up the crimson drops pooling near the boy's collarbone, Spike detected a small change in the flavor. It was no longer only fear that spiced the boy's blood, but arousal as well, and he was surprised to feel the hardening of Xander's cock where it was trapped beneath his own belly.

Pushing up on his hands once more, Spike looked down at the boy, thrusting slowing as he considered Xander's reaction. Unable to take the scrutiny, Xander's brown eyes closed tightly, head jerking to the side as he tried to bury his shame in his own pillow. The changed angle of Spike's strokes within his body made Xander whimper around the make-shift gag, his hips involuntarily canting up toward the vampire's thrusts.

"That's a bit unexpected," Spike mumbled to himself, bending back to the boy's neck and feeling a full body shiver go through his young body as the vampire suckled at the tiny wounds in his throat.

Though he'd meant to drain the boy, finishing Xander off as he himself finished, Spike found himself mesmerized by the whelp's reactions as he pounded into him. Too soon he felt his own balls drawing up and he hadn't even had one proper drink from the fount of Xander's tender throat. That was when the boy beneath him began to come, body shaking like a drug-addict having seizures of withdrawal, warm come streaming out between his own hot flesh and the cooler skin of Spike's belly.

Lifting back onto his hands as the boy's passage squeezed the life out of his prick, the rhythmic clenching of Xander's muscles pulled Spike over the edge as well. He spilled where he was buried within the boy's body, his own hips jerking out his orgasm as he watched the boy's eyes open again, wide and blinking in reaction to the way his body had just betrayed him.

That having made it all the sweeter, Spike found himself tipping quickly into a second climax, balls pumping yet more cool liquid into the boy's body as he came again.

When it was over and Spike had pulled out, crawling off the end of the bed and wiping down his tackle with the boy's discarded t-shirt, the vampire watched as Xander's tears started to flow anew. He twisted his head to the side again, dark hair flopping over his eyes, sobbing into his pillow as Spike dressed.

Not quite sure why he wasn't finishing the boy off as he'd planned; Spike slowly untied him, watching as Xander pulled the crumpled sock from his mouth before curling onto his side. He was even less sure what made him retrieve the blanket from the floor and drape it over the boy's shivering form.

As he pushed the window all the way open and exited, boots hitting the ground with a soft thud as he landed gracefully in the space between the boy's house and his neighbor's, there was one thing that Spike was sure of. He was sure he would be back to see this boy again.

Striding quickly away, Spike also knew he didn't plan to tell Drusilla about the boy. No need to have his new toy broken before he'd even begun to enjoy it.

2 When Spike Was Chipped and Living in Xander's Basement -

It was what the whelp deserved really, thought Spike as he wriggled free from the last of the pathetic knots that Xander had used to tie him to the ugly orange chair next to his bed.

After all, the boy did parade around like his meat and two veg were on display in a circus side show. Then he'd go into the bathroom and get himself off with one of those dirty magazines he thought no one knew he hid beneath the bathroom rug. Or worst of all, he'd wank right in front of Spike - assuming the vampire was both asleep and deaf as he pulled his prick less than six feet away from the chair he left Spike strapped to every night.

The stupid tosser wasn't smart enough to know that even a sleeping vampire would have woken up choking to death from the scent of arousal and spunk filling the room after one of his marathon jerk-off sessions.

And to add insult to injury, Spike hadn't had a decent wank since this lot had taken him in. First he'd spent his days chained up in the watcher's bathtub, hands wrapped in steel links that had been additionally strengthened by magic as he was forced to listen to the old git enjoying himself in the very next room.

Should've threatened to tell the kiddies that it was the chaos mage's name the watcher called out when he came. That probably would've gotten him free reign over the house. Just thinking of the look on his precious slayer and her scoobie's faces when they heard that little tidbit would've been enough to keep old Giles in line for quite some time.

Then the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back had been the boy spending nearly an hour watching porn before nodding off tonight. Spike had no idea why the boy hadn't wanked the stonker that was tenting the sheets spread over him before he'd gone to sleep, though he suspected it might have been done intentionally to torture him. What he did know was that he couldn't spend one more minute sitting in that uncomfortable chair with a cock as hard as brick crushed inside his pants while Xander's own prick twitched away merrily in its freedom, inspired by whatever dream the boy was having.

Yeah, this was definitely Xander's own fault.

Imagining just what he had planned for that hard bit of meat made Spike smile to himself as he stripped off, tossing his clothes back onto the ugly chair as he propped a foot up on the end of Xander's bed. He'd already pulled the boy's favorite wanking lotion from beneath the sofa and now coated his fingers with it, slipping first one and then two into his own tight opening.

Spike had no choice but to be on the receiving end for his little plan - he knew the chip wouldn't tolerate the type of pain his taking the boy's virginity would bring. And as much as he wanted to get off, he didn't fancy having his brain fried before he ever got there.

All lubed up, Spike slowly drew the sheet off Xander's sleeping form, watching the way the boy's cock stood up and thumped back down on his belly as the motion of the sheet first pulled it back then released it.

And no, his mouth wasn't watering as he looked at the boy's cock - and no, he hadn't been thinking about putting that lovely bit of flesh in his mouth for days now.

And no, he had not just thought that Xander's prick was lovely.

Shaking his head to remove the images of sucking Xander's cock that were filling it, Spike crawled onto the bed, straddling Xander's hips. Squatting above the boy, he grasped the base of Xander's cock and lined it up with his own opening, biting into his bottom lip in an attempt to block his own moan as he slowly sank down onto Xander's erection. He put his knees onto the mattress to either side of Xander's body as his ass met the boy's hipbones. Taking a moment to adjust to his very full bottom, Spike paused before lifting again, enjoying the burn as Xander's cock nearly slipped free of his passage.

By the time Spike was sinking down on Xander's cock for the second time, the whelp had woken. The sound he made was a combination of a groan and typical Xander babble.

"Sp-Spike…mmm… what… what the… ungh… great merciful… the hell?"

"Mmmm," Spike nearly purred, leaning forward and bracing his hands on Xander's broad chest as he continued lifting and lowering himself on the boy's cock. "You can thank me later."

"Thank you? Thank you?" Xander spluttered, though his hands had automatically gone to Spike's hips to steady him as the vampire fucked himself on Xander's cock. "Why would I thank you? What the hell, Spike? Since when are you gay? And what makes you think I'm gay?"

"Not gay, pet," Spike murmured. "Just a couple of blokes havin' a bit of fun."

"Fun?" Xander asked, eyes wide as Spike continued to slide up and down his pole, riding him slowly. His hips were lifting off the bed slightly to meet each of Spike's down strokes. "Gay fun!"

Spike didn't answer, ignoring Xander's protests and tilting a little farther to get more action on his prostate

"Spike?" Xander's hands were rubbing up and down Spike's thighs now, tickling the downy hairs there. "You know I'm gonna kill you for this, right? And that's not even counting what Buffy will do when she finds out what you did to me."

"Right, luv - kill me." Spike took Xander's hand off his thigh and wrapped the unresisting fingers around his own erection, releasing it when, obviously getting the idea, the calloused hand started to jerk him off. "How 'bout you just stroke my prick right now - then you can kill me when we finish. Yeah?"

Gasping as Spike leaned down and licked over his throat, immediately zoning in on the sweet spot behind his left ear and kissing it softly, Xander shook his head in agreement. "'Kay," he mumbled. "I'll kill you later."

As Spike's hand slipped between their bodies and twisted his nipple just right, Xander spoke once more, "And maybe it's not strictly necessary that we tell Buffy about this."

"Good plan," Spike groaned as he rode Xander harder, returning to sucking at the sweet spot behind the boy's ear.

3 After Buffy Died -

Less than twenty-four hours since Buffy fell and Spike was sitting in his crypt, several empty bottles scattered around him and another nearing empty clutched in his hand. He was drunk enough by this time that he barely lifted his head as the door to his crypt banged open then slammed shut again.

"Get up, Fangless!"

Oh that's just bloody perfect, Spike thought through his alcoholic haze. The whelp, just who I most wanted to see.

"The hell, Spike?" Xander shouted down at him, kicking one of Spike's outstretched legs and then booting a couple of discarded bottles across the room, sending one skittering into the wall where it shattered in a glittering shower of glass.

"Good evenin' to you too, Xander," Spike glared at the boy from his spot against the wall, dried tear tracks on his cheeks doing nothing to dull the effect of his stare.

"What do you think you're doing? You know that nasty things got through that portal, Spike. And you know with Buffy gone we need your help more than ever if we're going to clean this mess up."

The boy was standing there with his hands on his hips, mouth drawn into a tight line as if he were scolding a misbehaving child and not a century old vampire. The stern look on Xander's face was almost enough to make Spike laugh.


"Piss off, tosser."

Spike gave Xander a two fingered salute with one hand, tipping the bottle up to his lips with the other as he did. But he suddenly found himself empty handed and staring up with shock-widened eyes as Xander slapped his half-full bottle from his hand. The vampire watched as it struck the floor and went spinning out of reach, liquor flowing freely out as it did.

"Get off your lazy vampire ass and come help us!" Xander's eyes were flashing with anger.

Spike found he almost admired the boy's fire.


"Slayer's gone now," he pursed his lips as he said the words out loud for the first time, attempting to stop the way they threatened to go all wobbly as he spoke. "Don't work for you lot. So again I say - piss off."

That was about the time that he found himself hauled to his feet, Xander's hands fisted in the front of his t-shirt and his head thumping against the wall as the slayer's favorite puppy shook him like a rag-doll.

"Who the hell do you think you are?"

"Spike," his words were slurred, "Master Vampire - former white hat."

"Former?" Xander shook him harder. "Are you saying you're not with us anymore?"

Grasping Xander's wrists and pulling himself free of the boy's hands, Spike shook his head, "'M sayin' that Buffy's gone now."

Xander's mouth tightened further and, even in his drunken state, Spike could tell that the boy's eyes were wet with un-shed tears. "This I know, Spike. I was there - remember? Doesn't mean you can't make with the helping. Why would you abandon us now when we need you the most?"

Spike snorted, "Don't love you."

Confusion evident, Xander frowned, face close enough to Spike's that the vampire could feel his warm breath as he spoke, "I don't love you either, Spike. What the hell does that have to do with the price of Twinkies in China?"

"Simple math really. Spike loves Buffy - equals Spike helps Buffy." He raised his chin defiantly as he explained his position. "No Buffy equals zero help from the chipped vampire. Get me now?"

Just like that Xander's hands were tangled up in his shirt once more; the boy's lips so close they almost touched Spike's as he ground out his words. "I get it, Spike - oh I get it just fine. You think you're the only one who loved Buffy?"

When Spike didn't respond Xander jerked him away from the wall and slammed him back into it. "You do - don't you?"

"Shove off," Spike pushed at Xander's broad chest without much effect, knowing that if he put too much force behind it he'd set off the damn chip.

"You jack ass!" Xander was practically screaming. "I loved her too, Spike. And I loved her for a hell of a lot longer than you did."

Xander was pressed against Spike's body, pinning him to the wall with his bigger bulk and Spike could feel the boy's erection against his hip. Whether it was caused by anger or excitement, Spike wasn't sure, but he was equally as hard as Xander continued to crowd him with his superior size.

"You're not the only one who lost her, Spike!" Xander shouted at him, tiny flecks of spit flying from his mouth and landing on Spike's lips.

Tongue involuntarily darting out to taste Xander's anger, Spike watched as the boy's eyes followed its slow movement over his bottom lip. Then the whelp was diving forward, capturing Spike's tongue in his teeth and biting it hard enough to draw blood. Spike barely had time to react before the boy had sucked the pink flesh into his mouth and was twisting his own over and around it.

Their teeth clashed as Xander moved his head from one side to the other, the kiss frantic as his hands began to wander down the vampire's sides, slipping under the hem of his shirt to feel flesh against flesh for the first time. Spike gasped in response to the touch, his own hands moving to Xander's body, one cupping the back of his head as the other dipped into his waistband as the boy began to thrust against Spike. Xander shifted his hips slightly until their cocks were aligned and then he ground himself on Spike's body with hard, angry movements.

Before his questing fingers could find their target, Spike found himself roughly turned, face pressed to the wall as Xander's cock rubbed over the seam joining the denim of his jeans between his cheeks. His cock was crushed into the wall and he moved his hips from side to side to get more friction as Xander's fingers found their way to Spike's mouth and pushed inside.

The fingers were just as quickly removed as the boy moved back just long enough to lower the zipper on his pants. Spike's hands scrambled at his own belt, buckle clanging off the stone wall as he lowered his pants to his knees. He spread his legs as far as they would go as he felt Xander's now spit-slicked head pressing against his hole. The pain was nearly perfection as the boy thrust into his un-prepared opening, grunting as he rode into the vampire's body hard and fast.

Spike shuffled back two steps, giving himself room to work a hand between his body and the wall, stripping his cock with punishing strokes as Xander fucked him. The boy's blunt teeth clamped onto the spot where Spike's neck met his shoulder, Xander's fingers digging bruises into the vampire's hips as he thrust. The ragged cry he made surprised Spike as he shot over his own fingers, messily coating the wall and his hand as he came.

Xander was coming as well, his own cries muffled by Spike's flesh as he jerked out his orgasm, filling Spike with warmth as his balls emptied their contents into the vampire's cool body.

A moment later, Xander was stumbling backward on rubbery legs, tucking himself away as he watched Spike turn toward him, his own jeans still pooled at his knees, spent cock still clutched in his fist.

"You weren't the only one who lost her," Xander barely breathed out the words as he cupped his still throbbing dick through the front of his pants.

Suddenly sober, Spike pulled up his pants, wiping his slick fingers on the back of his own thigh before he zipped up and buckled his belt. "Xander..."

"Never mind, Spike," Xander mumbled, starting to turn away.

"Just hold on while I get my coat," Spike's voice was calm and even. "Don't want you walkin' alone. There's nasties to kill and you lot are gonna need my help."

4 After Xander Left Anya at the Alter -

Spike had come to gloat - of course that's why he'd come.

He'd heard the boy was back in town, and that the slayer, the witch, and even the bit had already ripped into him. How could Spike be expected to pass up a chance to mock the whelp in his lowest moment? The boy had left the ex-demon bint standing at the alter and drawn the ire of all his own nearest and dearest, so Spike knew his own comments about Xander's latest and perhaps most spectacular fuck up would just be icing on his cake of failure.

Or so he'd thought. He hadn't expected to find the boy curled up and crying like a baby.

And he certainly hadn't expected that he'd end comforting the irritating whelp.

Xander had quickly spilled all the details of what had happened, how he'd been so easily driven away by a little falsely manufactured information about the outcome destined for his union with Anya. As the boy emptied his guts, Spike had found himself with two arms full of a crying Xander - his head buried in Spike's chest as he sobbed out the whole story.

Even more unexpected had been Xander revealing what he believed to be the reason for his own eagerness to back out of his wedding. He fancied himself attracted to men, Spike in particular - and was pretty certain he was in love with the vampire.

Some time after that revelation, as Spike had tried to assure Xander that it was probably some lasting effect of a spell or something, or perhaps even a temporary curse that Willow had put on her longtime friend to punish him for abandoning Anya, Xander shared that he'd actually been attracted to Spike for a long time. According to Xander, he'd known how he felt about Spike even before he'd met Anya - years in fact if he could believe what the boy was telling him. One thing was for sure, Xander certainly seemed to believe what he was saying. And if he were under some sort of enchantment making him imagine the aforementioned attraction, Spike certainly wasn't capable of detecting it.

Of course he'd continued to try and comfort the boy in his hour of need, and he couldn't really be held responsible if Xander found the most comfort possible by crawling onto Spike's lap and having Spike help him out by stroking the growing discomfort in his pants.

Certainly the most unexpected part of the day was when Spike found himself slowly entering a well-lubed Xander, praying the chip kept quiet as he slid home, moving inside the warmest body he'd ever felt - the boy's head lolling on the sofa in ecstasy as Spike thrust into him.

As unexpected as the actual outcome of his planned day of tormenting the whelp had been, Spike told himself that he was just providing comfort. It's what he did, helped the scoobies when they needed him. Obviously this was what Xander needed most. Or that's what he said inside his head as he pushed in deeper, wrapping his fingers around the boy's thick cock and stroking it in time to his thrusts inside Xander's body.

As he buried his face in Xander's neck and cried, he told himself it was still a part of comforting Xander and not from the relief of possibly discovering something that could finally push the slayer out of his heart.

5 After Xander Lost His Eye - How It Finally Happened

Spike heard Xander mumbling into his ear as he thrust slowly inside the other man's body. But he found that, as sometimes happened when he was in the middle of an especially amazing shag, the pleasure seemed to be interfering with his ability to hear.

Pushing up from Xander's sweat slicked body, Spike stopped moving and the squeaking of the tiny cot ceased as well, leaving only the sound of Xander's shaky breathing in the damp basement. "Didn't quite catch that, pet."

"Don't stop," Xander urged Spike to continue moving inside him by raising his feet from the thin mattress and pushing on Spike's ass with his heels. Once the vampire had resumed fucking him, Xander repeated his previous statement. "I was just saying thank you."

"Thank you?" Spike frowned down at Xander. "For this?"

He'd thought it was strange when he'd been asked to return to the Summer's house barely thirty minutes into patrolling with Buffy and the potentials. Xander had called him on the cell Willow had so recently provided Spike and said it was important, but asked that he not tell Buffy where he was going or why. Spike had covered his exit with a story about following up on some lead at Willy's, slipping away after getting the obligatory scowl from the slayer to let him know she thought he was abandoning them for an evening of drinking.

Xander had been waiting in the basement, sitting on Spike's cot just as he'd told Spike he would be. However, he hadn't mentioned he'd be waiting naked, or that he'd be asking Spike to fuck him. But never one to look a gift shag in the mouth, and also not one to deny his attraction to the boy, even if the admitting of it only took place in his own head, Spike hadn't really questioned Xander's motivation. What he had done was almost instantly take Xander up on his offer.

Now Xander's reply pulled Spike from his own thoughts as he answered the vampire's question, "No, Spike - for this." He was pointing at his bandaged eye and Spike stilled again.

"Your eye," Spike swallowed hard. "I'm sorry. If only I'd moved a bit faster…"

"No," Xander's hands stroked softly from Spike's shoulders down to his waist and back up again. "I'm not talking about the eye. I'm talking about you saving me. If you hadn't come back for me… Caleb would have…"

Spike pressed up on his hands, shaking his head, "Is that what this is about? You tryin' to thank me for rescuing you?"

Xander shook his head frantically but Spike continued talking.

"'Cause you don't have to do this to pay me back, Xander. If that's what this is about…" his voice trailed off and he tried to scoot backward, tried to pull his cock free of Xander's body, but Xander locked his ankles behind Spike, stopping his movement.

"No," his voice was thick with emotion, single eye intense as he gazed up at Spike. "I definitely want this. I think maybe for a long time now. But I needed you to know that I was grateful, and I wanted you to know that I knew, Spike."

Spike's brow furrowed with confusion and he gasped lightly as Xander used his legs for leverage and started to fuck himself on Spike's un-moving cock. "Knew what?"

"I saw, Spike - I saw what you did."

Shaking his head, Spike cupped Xander's face in his palm, thumb brushing the edge of the bandages as he did, "Saw what, pet? I don't know what you're on about."

"The potential," Xander whispered, "she was only a few feet away. That bringer had the knife to her throat."

"So?" Spike's voice tightened on the question. "Could hardly save everyone - could I?'

"No, Spike - you couldn't save everyone." Xander's breathing was becoming more ragged as he worked himself on Spike's dick. "You only had time to save one person - me. I saw you look at her, Spike. I saw you choose."


"I saw you choose me, Spike. I saw you let that girl die because you chose me."

Spike slipped a hand between them, fingers curling around Xander's cock as he began stroking him. "Are you going to tell the others? Tell Buffy?"

"Never," Xander arched up as Spike started to fuck him again. "I'll never tell them, Spike."

Spike's reply was swallowed by Xander's mouth as the man he'd chosen grabbed the back of the vampire's skull and pulled him down for a rough kiss.

The End

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