Erogie Leaves


“I bloody well despise you, Harris. Just fer yer fuckin' bad luck.

“Yeah, I kinda despise me too.”

Tromping into Xander's apartment, the two of them immediately slammed the door and shucked off every article of clothing they had on, cursing and groaning as they freed themselves from the most unimaginable torment either of them had ever experienced. With a groan of relief, Xander stretched, his sweaty, nude form reaching for the ceiling. “God-Fucking-Damn!”

“Oh Yeah...” Spike gasped, falling lax against the cool, cool wall behind him, shaky palms sliding down his own thighs. “Fuck, Harris-- Red Erogie Leaves?!”

“Yeah, well, how was I supposed to know they weren't just regular leaves? And, I mean, c'mon, it's not like I wanted the fucking Burpie thing to toss us into a pile of them like ragdolls--”

“Burgelie. If ye hadn't called it 'Burpie', maybe it wouldn't've.”

“Jesus,” Xander hissed, his hands stroking over his own collarbone, fingernails dragging light little scratches over the skin on their own volition. He was hot-- like twenty degrees hotter than normal-- and his skin was red and sweat-slick and it felt so good to touch-- “What does--”

“--Turns ye on.” Spike gasped, cutting him off, his legs parting a little as he slumped back against the wall, burgeoning erection framed between his hands as they prepared touch. “Heats ye up, makes ye want te burn yer clothes and fuck everything in sight. Overheats yer body if ye don't get off within the hour.”

“Awesome.” Xander gasped, only half sarcastic as he let his head fall back against the door. His cock felt like it was about to explode. “Where was this shit when I was in high school?” One hand wrapped around its base, and he made a sound-- a whine-- losing his breath.

“Jus-- Just don't look at me, an' I won't look at you, and we'll be fine.” Spike sighed, blissful as he began tugging himself off, eyes slowly blinking open to reveal...

… Oh, fuck, what a sight.

He stared, his hand quickening to move in time with Harris', and he knew he was in trouble when the boy's eyes slid open and met his, pupils blowing wide and dark as if this was the best drug on the planet, and he was overdosing, and he didn't care.

A red leaf peeked out from his nest of dark curls.

“You've got a...” He reached out, closing in on Harris, plucking the leaf from his hair and letting it flutter to the floor.

For a moment, neither of them moved.

“That probably wasn't the best idea, was it?” Spike heard himself ask, throaty and slightly unhinged.

“Do me.” Xander growled breathlessly, pushing Spike back toward the bedroom.

The End