Rating/Warnings: NC-17 to be safe. There's some kinkiness but it's not explicit.
Words: ~500, unbeta'ed
"You've gone completely barmy, that's what. Just stay here and I'll fetch down the witches, have you fixed up in no time."
"Come on, Spike! I've wanted to do this forever! I even tried to do it with Anya, but there were... ice issues, and it didn't work."
"Ha! You think I'm gonna like ice near my bits? Hate to break it to ya, pet, but it's not something I've got a kink for."
Xander thought about that for a moment. It wasn't often he came across something Spike didn't have a kink for.
"Okay, so maybe initially, there'll be... shrinkage... but vampire, so you won't warm back up like I did! See? Ice, porn, you regain your former glory, and then we can do it! Come on, Spike, please?" Xander looked at his boyfriend with pleading eyes and a trembling lip.
Spike remained unmoved. "No."
Xander huffed. "Fine!" He picked up the bottle on the counter and hugged it lovingly. "Just remember this the next time you want me to do something unusual, and I tell you no."
"Xander, you tell me no all the bloody time! No shagging in Rupert's bathroom, no asking the witches for a foursome, and you wouldn't even consider that thing with the chaps and the..."
"Spike! That's... that's defacement of public property! Dawn used to ride on that carousel!"
"Well, this is... defacement of my cock! Don't see why it's any different."
Xander's face took on a speculative look and he slowly rocked the unopened bottle in his hands. "No different, hmm? So, if I did that, you'd do this? For me?"
"Uh, yeah. Might do." Spike swallowed hard. "But you said you wouldn't..."
"I didn't have this kind of incentive then."
Twenty minutes later, Spike's cock was pronounced both cold enough and recovered enough to begin the experiment. He couldn't believe he was doing this. Xander was pouring a thick stream of Magic Shell over his cock, watching in wonder as it hardened into a perfect chocolate replica. It was still really odd, but it wasn't that bad, Spike realized. And when the look of wonder in Xander's eyes was replaced by one of hunger, and he pushed Spike back (the better to devour him), Spike decided it hadn't been a bad idea at all.
Xander walked nervously into the drugstore, heading quickly towards the adhesives aisle and trying not to think about how little he had underneath his coat. Spike was waiting in the car with a huge grin and the other supplies. How much Superglue did you need to attach a dildo to a carved wooden saddle? Xander grabbed another tube, took a deep breath, and headed to the checkout. He still wasn't keen on the idea of the one-man rodeo Spike wanted to watch, but finally experiencing the miracle that was a Magic Shell chocolate cock that afternoon? Made it so worth it.
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