Pairing: S/X
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: None really.
Disclaimer: If I owned them it would have been called "Spike the Nasty Vampire" and Buffy would have died every episode like Kenny on South Park. So... perhaps it's better that they belong to Joss.
A/N: Thanks muchly to [info]theodosia for the excellent beta and insight. This takes place in season 5 sometime after "Crush."



How sad is it that Xander recognizes instantly the feeling of waking up from a wack on the head? Giles and he should just start a KO club, he could be Treasurer, they'd sit around and count their lumps.

"Xander!" a shrill voice says from his left. His eyes take a few precious seconds to make the golden blob turn into Buffy. Of course she's here. He hardly ever gets a concussion when she's not around. Well, actually, he gets concussions mostly because she isn't around, but usually they're because he's with her before she's not around. He takes a few more precious seconds to run that through his head again to see if it makes more sense.

Buffy whispers at him harshly. "Xander! Snap out of it! You've got to get out of here!"

"Buffy?" he moans as he gets to his feet. Ooh, look spinning room, nausea, definitely a head injury. When the world rights itself, he sees that Buffy's chained to the wall. Huh. That can't be good. "Why are you chained to the wall, Buffy? Where are we?"

"Xander listen! Spike got the chip removed somehow. We're in his crypt. You have to get out of here now!"

Fear and panic, his dear friends, snap him into focus. "Spike? Crap. I've got to get those off of you."

"Xander! There's no time! Please, just go."

"No. He'll kill you. Just... no!" he says realizing as he pulls at the metal cuffs how stupid it is. If Buffy can't pull loose, then there isn't much he can do. "Do you know where Spike put the key?"

"It's right here, mate," a whiskey-rough voice says calmly.


He doesn't get a chance to reply before a hand grips his hair from behind, snapping back his head. Spike. The vamp's other arm wraps around him like steel cable. Goose bumps form as he feels cool breath on his neck. Buffy yells his name as she strains against the chains.

"Shut up, Summers! Any idea how long I've waited?"

"Leave her alone, Spike!" Xander grunts and Spike pulls his head further back exposing his neck.

"Still the White Knight, Harris? You wouldn't leave without her. I've had lots of time tied to that sodding chair watching you sleep. You always fail her. Well, now you're going to fail her one last time, and she gets to watch me drain you. Then maybe I'll fetch Red and the Slayer can watch that."

Xander should be yelling about Willow, but he is startled by the words popping out of his own mouth. "You watched me?"

Somehow, he knows Spike is rolling his eyes. "Not much else to do. Vamps sleep during the day, you git."

Buffy looks as mad as he's ever seen her. "This is between you and me, Spike. You want a chance at the Slayer, well come on!"

Xander feels Spike's cool lips press against his throat. Buffy surges forward as far as the chains will allow. The lips against his throat turn up into a smile. Xander's been dreading this ever since he learned about vampires. The night Jesse was taken away, he knew that one day he'd be some dead guy's snack. Except--this is all about Spike and Buffy. He doesn't really even matter in the equation. He's just a wriggly little worm on a hook, a piece of cheese on a steel trap, Bugs Bunny in a dress saying, 'come and get it.'

"Hey! If you're going to kill me, at least pay attention to me," Xander spits out.

The cool lips pull away and he's jerked around to look at the bleached menace head on. "What's... this?"

"Come on, Spike. You've yapped about it enough. 'When I get this chip out you'll be sorry, Harris. I'll take my time.' Well? THIS is it?"

"Xander!" Buffy shrills again, and boy is he getting tired of her yelling his name.

"What? It's insulting. He's just using me to get to you." He crosses his arms and frowns at the vampire. "Frankly, I'm disappointed."

Spike prowls, there's no other word for it, towards him. The vamp presses against him with a hand pulling his hair again before he can catch his breath.

"You want my full attention, whelp?" Eyes the color of blue steel bore into him inches away, so close Xander's almost cross-eyed trying to meet them. Quietly he finishes, "You have it."

"Go on then," Xander grunts, and closes his eyes.

He feels Spike's face pressed back against his exposed neck, sniffing him, before a wet, pointed tongue glides from collar bone to jaw. Xander shivers. Why the tease? Lips criminally soft for a man replace the tongue. They slide over the wet trail and end by nibbling on his jaw. Xander's hands clench the buttery lapels of the duster. There's a dark chuckle in his ear and the hand gripping his hair loosens to a caress. A moan escapes Xander.

Xander opens his eyes when Spike pulls back. Something sparks in those blue eyes that Xander has never seen before, at least not directed at him. It certainly isn't about Buffy anymore. Xander's grip on Spike's coat lets him pull the vampire closer. Lips find lips and the game changes altogether.


"Um guys?" Buffy says with confusion, but neither of them pays her any attention. "Guys? Xander what are you... Oh. You know you could throw me the keys if you guys want to be alone. And... Oh my God, I so did not need to see that. Spike! Spike! This isn't funny. Xander... um, uh, wow. Okay, I'm just going to close my eyes now... Any second now... any second...."

The End

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