Pairing: Spike/Xander

Rating: NC-17

Written for [info]windles_orbit SummerFest 2007 "Three Little Words" Challenge using the words "Lights, Camera, Action".

Summary: Who says spam is a bad thing?

The Internet is for...


“Lights,camera, action,” Xander mused, staring at the bold words on the screen. “Now what could this be?”

He’d been sifting through all his spam box, trying to find several urgent emails his overly vigorous filters had misdirected. After reading two from Willow and one from an incredibly whiny new Slayer, he’d hit on this anonymous piece of junk. Normally he just deleted stuff like this, along with the promises of a larger penis and desperate requests from Nigeria for a few thousand dollars in return for untold millions. This one caught his eye, though.

Pictures of devestatingly gorgeous men and women stared back at him, with only a large hotlink to give him any indication of the nature of this solicitation. This advertisement wasn’t like the usual porn spam. No gigantic nipples or veiny cocks in sight. Just a come hither glance or a secretive smile from these static beauties.

“What the hell,” Xander sighed and clicked the link.

His browser whipped into action, opening and doing its connection dance. As he waited, Xander just sat, lost in thought. It had been four years since Sunnydale became a pit and he was tired. Too many new battles and a few old ones had taken their toll on his patience and his humor. The heart of the Scoobies had lost his, and it showed. The group was more fractious than ever, with Buffy pursuing her Paris Hilton degree in partying and Willow doing her Wicked Witch impression more and more frequently. Maybe he needed a vacation. Gods, he hadn’t one in...oh, ever.

The webpage was loaded, and it had the standard disclaimers about being old enough to view naughty things. He clicked the “Old Enough To Know Better” button and the introduction page popped up. He read, first in irritation and then in fascination.

“Lights, Camera, Action! is an elite service, offering only the finest in adult entertainment. Our specially selected performers will cater to your every whim. Chose from an endless variety of beautiful men and women, all eager to put on the show of your dreams.”

There was a button offering him a chance to view their  “incredibly talented and stunningly erotic” lineup of performers. Xander clicked it eagerly, anxious to see what this site deemed stunningly erotic. When he was asked whether he preferred to view male or female “entertainers”, he unhesitatingly selected male. Xander had gotten over his sexuality issues a few years ago. After almost dying in Africa, he figured that liking cock wasn’t the end of the world. He knew what the end of the world looked like, and it almost never came in such enticingly mouthwatering packages.

Xander scrolled through page after page of modestly posed men, giving them all a miss. This site had every flavor of male beauty from muscled to slender, exotic to vanilla. Still, none of them rated more than a 'meh'. On the last page, he flipped through hurriedly, anxious to move on. But, the very last picture held his attention. Breathlessly, he clicked on it, hoping to see something that would confirm his unrealistic hope.

“It’s not him,” Xander muttered. “Just...a look alike. We all have them, right?”

The new page loaded with agonizing slowness. The white blonde hair blended into creamy pale skin. Xander sat, heart thudding in his ears, as those piercing blue eyes unpixelated and stared into his damn soul. The name below the picture said “William”.

“Fuck,” Xander breathed out.

It wasn’t true. It couldn’t be. But, what if? Unhesitatingly, Xander ponied up the incredibly pricey membership fee.

He grabbed for his microphone and waited anxiously for the next screen. When a pop-up box asked him to confirm his microphone with a voice test, he could barely keep his voice from cracking. After the website verified his mic worked, the screen flickered and resolved.

There he was, in the all too beautiful flesh. Xander fought the urge to cover his face. Spike couldn’t see him through the webcam after all.

“ ‘ello, luv,” came the oh so familiar voice. “What’s your name?”

“Uh, uhm,” Xander stammered. Shit! He hadn’t thought this far ahead. He couldn’t give Spike his real name. Think, Harris, think!

“Uh, Andrew,” Xander finally blurted out, still cursing silently.

“Well, Andrew, I’m Will. What’s your pleasure tonight?”

“I d-don’t know,” Xander whispered. “What do...what do you do?”

Spike laughed, that rich throaty laugh that had always hit Xander in the gut. It was like an ice cream headache for his entire body, making him shiver and quake. The webcam pulled back to reveal a lean, muscled body.

“I’ll do anything for you, pet. I’ll be your perfect wet dream. Just tell me how you want me,” Spike purred.

“Oh boy,” Xander yelped. He had plenty of wet dreams about this sexy vampire, particularly on those nights he’d tied Spike up and gone to sleep. Dreams of sliding a thick hard dick deep inside him and going at a gallop. He’d woken so many mornings sticky and spent, but unsatisfied. Since that particular dream obviously wasn’t about to happen, he went for the next best thing.

“Show me how you...” Xander trailed off, embarrassed.

“How I what, Andrew? Want to see me wank, watch me touch myself and spill just for you,” Spike asked him teasingly. “Want to hear me beg for you?”

“God, yes,” Xander moaned, unbuttoning his pants. Just hearing the words had him aching, and his hand slid lightly over his erection.

Xander watched the monitor, his fingers curled around his shaft. Spike was pinching and rolling his own nipples, eyes heavy-lidded with pleasure. The pale pink buds became red and puffy as soft panting filled the air.

“T-talk to me, Spike,” Xander moaned, his own hand mirroring Spike’s movements.

“Yeah, luv,” Spike smirked. “Feels good, touching myself for you. Want to get fucked, want that hot prick of yours shoved inside me. Bet you’d like that, wouldn’t you? Bending me over, making me your bitch?”

“Oh fuck, ye-es,” Xander agreed lustily. This was too good, too much, and Xander tugged his sac sharply to stem his quickly approaching orgasm.

“Could show you,” Spike offered hoarsely. “Could show you what it’d be like, filling my arse.”

“Spike, please,” Xander begged. “Fuck yourself baby, do it for me.”

Spike reached over, out of sight of the webcam and his hand returned  holding a massive dildo. The fake cock looked to be about 9 inches, and as thick as Spike’s wrist. Xander couldn’t stop a longing groan from escaping his lips as Spike began to lube it up, running those long talented fingers up and down the massive toy.

“Watch now sweet,” Spike urged. “Watch how I like it.”

Xander did as he was instructed, eyes wide and body trembling. Spike laid back, legs drawn up to his ears and slid his still sticky fingers inside himself. First one, then two, then four fingers working his rosy hole before finally, with a sharp gasp, Spike took the dildo in with one smooth push.

Sitting up, Spike began to rock his hips back and forth,moaning in ecstasy as he jacked his cock. Xander, still watching with delight, matched his strokes to Spike’s,whimpering at the slow seductive pace.

“Feels good,  luv,” Spike told him. “Feels like heaven having you inside me. Fillin’ me up-ah! So good. Want to, unh!Want to cum for you. Want to jizz all over you, make you smell like me for weeks.”

“Fu-fuck, Spike,” Xander grunted. “Gonna cum, Spike! Please, please...”

“Uh-huh,” Spike nodded, body tense. “Cum for me, pet. Give it to me. Want to taste it, yeah? Get me a bellyful of your juice.”

That last erotic admission sent Xander hurtling over the edge. His hand tugged frantically at his cock, and Xander yelled his release. Semen spilled over his hand, gushing out in spurts to land on his belly. He watched, replete as Spike joined him, rubbing and rocking on the fake dick until he too was shouting and shaking in orgasm.

They sat there silently for a moment, just riding the post-orgasm wave until Spike stirred slightly and said, “So, you gonna admit who you really are or should I just guess?”

“Huh,”Xander said sleepily.

“You're not bloody Andrew,” Spike told him. “Not that the bloke wouldn’t be happy to watch me toss off. But, he isn’t exactly known for his deep manly voice, is he?”

“No,”Xander agreed. “Andrew isn’t very manly at all.”

“Come on, Xander,” Spike wheedled. “Been told confession is good for the soul.”

“If I do...if I admit it,” Xander whispered, “what than?”

“Than I ditch this golden cage and come show you what the real thing is like,” Spike told him frankly. “Give you a bit of what you’re obviously wanting.”

“Yeah?” Xander tried to keep his voice from sounding too eager.

“Yeah,” Spike nodded. “Got my own wants, don’t I? And I fancy a nice post-shag cuddle. Demon girl always said you were the best cuddler.”

“I am a comfortador,” Xander agreed. “Spike, it’s me and I want you. Here. Now. In my bed. “

“Well than, Xan,” Spike grinned. “How can a man refuse an offer like that?”

“Pretty easily,” Xander grimaced.

“Nah,” Spike disagreed. “Good looking bloke like you? Pretty damn irresistable.”

“So,” Xander took a deep breath. “Does that mean you’re coming?”

“Means,” Spike looked thoughtful. “Means take a shower and get ready for a bit more than ‘Lights, Camera, Action!’.”

The End

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