Disclaimer: I'm a Pretender, all hail Joss the master!
Notes: I'm doubling up here! This is for the improv list and also in answer to Saber's challenge on SpikeTortureAnonymous
Improv: glimmer, fury, ease, silent
Challenge: At end of fic.
Dedicated to: All of you. Happy New Year!
Canon? What fucking canon?
Dedicated to: Evilbadvixen
my partner in pain, 'cause she rocks the kasbah, baby!
What He Needs
I'm pretty sure I know why I'm here.
It's hard to focus on anything other than the pain, but I'm pretty sure I know why I'm here.
That's it, addiction.
I'm an addict.
((Sharp hiss of pain))
Ahhhhhhh Christ, but he's getting good at this!
Bloody fuckin' hell it hurts ithurtsithurtsohJesusfuckingChristonabroomstickithurts!
But I'm here.
Here am I.
I'm here; here and hanging by my bleedin' wrists from manacles and rattling these chains like some kind of freaky, evil, sadomasochistic fuckin' Muppet.
Yeah, I'm Jim Henson's worst fuckin' nightmare, me.
Sometimes, just sometimes I wish he wouldn't fuck me dry. Just a little lube, just enough to stop from ripping my insides apart; just enough so that I can at least enjoy a fuck sometime in the next two weeks without nearly biting my own lip off with the pain.
The game would still be The Game.
It wouldn't spoil the illusion.
The song would remain the same, and the vampire would still scream.
I can hear him now.
Chanting, his words rasping hotly in my ear, voice hoarse and tight with desire and emotion and fury.
The same mantra every single time.
'Kill you, kill you, fuckin' kill you.'
Bamm as he slams into me; his body pounding, punishing, ripping asunder.
And oh, those sweet nothings that tickle my ear.
'Kill you, kill you, fuckin' kill you.'
Fuck, but this hurts.
I can feel blood trickling down the insides of my thighs.
The pain has evolved into a white-hot flare of agony that radiates from my ass and down my hip muscles which tremble with the pain and exertion of trying to support some of his weight.
He's bigger than me.
If I took the weight on my arms, I'd most likely dislocate my shoulders again. If you've ever done that, you'll know why I'm trying to avoid it. It feels like some big bastard tried to pull your arms out and damn near succeeded.
But you know what the big joke is? You know what the irony of it all is?
I'm here of my own free will.
I'm a Master vampire. I'm fuckin' immortal. I'm an evil, unrepentant, genocidal son-of-a-bitch who could snap this whelp's fuckin' neck like a TWIG if I so took the notion.
I'm a whirlwind of black, ugly death; a holocaust of fuckin' PAIN and I'm swinging 'ere on these bloody manacles while some BOY, some dark-haired, puppy-eyed, frightened and abused child has his way with me.
While he tortures, humiliates and beats the ever-loving SHIT out of me.
And when it's over, and it will be over soon...
When it's over.
It'll be silent.
He'll catch his breath, and when he does he'll unlock the manacles, lift me in his arms with ease and deposit me onto his soft bed, which he's had the foresight to cover with an old sheet.
Can't get blood on those new bedclothes.
Then he'll look at me. He'll look at me with those dark, mahogany eyes.
This is the part I hate.
I'm lying 'ere. I'm bleeding, some of my bones are broken, my ass is like mince-meat and my throat is raw with screaming but THIS is the part I hate the most.
Because he cries.
He'll sponge me down, so gently you'd never believe he could hurt a fly. He'll put ointment on my wounds, dress those that need it. Finally, he'll feed me with warm, sweet blood from his own veins.
And all that time he'll be weeping.
You see, he's an addict too. He doesn't want to do this. Hell, this boy doesn't have an evil bone in his whole body.
He doesn't want to do this.
He NEEDS to do this.
MY addiction comes from my Sire. I loved Angelus, Amen.
I loved him.
He tortured me. He humiliated me. He broke me in ways you could never conceive of.
But still I loved him.
He was my daddy, you see. No matter how much he hurt me, no matter how many times I promised myself I'd walk away, I always relented.
I stayed home.
Home is where the heart is, where daddy is. I could no more leave Angelus than I could stake meself, I needed the pain, I THRIVED on the pain. Because it was a gift from daddy.
And it's just the same for the boy.
His bastard father has beaten him and his mother for as long as he can remember. Put the whelp in hospital once or twice.
Dear old dad even allowed that fuckin' paedophile bastard uncle to butt-fuck the boy once or twice. For the price of a bottle of whiskey of course.
But the boy loved him. Loved him and feared him.
Humph! Yeah, I can relate. You don't get to choose who you love OR fear.
Now me, I've been punishing mankind for daddy's sins for decades.
I didn't used to torture my food you know. But all that pent-up rage, all that frustration; well, it had to come out somehow. The more vicious a beating or fucking I got from daddy, the worse it was for my food. I don't like to call them victims. I don't see them as victims.
Do you see COWS as victims?
The American obsession with McDonalds and Burger King tells me no.
It's the same with the boy, except he had no outlet. I don't think sneaking into fields at night and torturing a few cows was an option for him, so it stood to reason that something was gonna give.
Bloody Slayer! Supposed to be his FRIEND and she can't fuckin' see what's been going on underneath that re-moulded little nose of hers all these years. Christ, the boy's wandering about nearly catatonic with grief and pain sometimes and all she can do is send him on fuckin' donut-runs for her and that sanctimonious soddin' Watcher.
As for Red, well she's so busy shaggin' her little squeeze toy she's nearly cross-eyed, so no chance of her noticing anything.
I KNOW he knows. But you know what? That asshole is living in a world of fuckin' pain all of his own. And here's the doozy - Slayer doesn't see HIS pain either. Selfish little bitch.
I love her, you know.
Oh fuck no, not in THAT kind of a way. Give me SOME credit, please! No, my demon loves her. Loves the rage she ignites in him, loves the hate and how keenly it burns, and how well she fans the flames. Loves the fantasy of taking her and ripping her apart; decimating, dissecting, degrading. Loves how Angelus loved her in his own homicidal, psychotic, twisted way. His demon way. My demon way.
In my wildest fantasy, I'm with them both; a willing apprentice of Angelus in the taming of the Slayer, the raping of the Slayer, the ending of the Slayer. Angelus and I fuck in the spilt, stolen pools of her rich, intoxicating blood and suck the sweet marrow from her bones.
No fuckin' white wedding shit here, pet; no 'Wind Beneath My Wings'. This is demon love.
But back to the boy.
And me. Because NOW, there is no him and me, there's only US.
I'd been having these headaches. Damn chip was fuckin' around inside me head something rotten. I think it must have been some of the cracks to the skull I got helping Slayer with her demon problem. Actually, I wasn't doing it to help her; truth be told it was my only outlet. I was wanking practically half the bloody time I was awake and the hunger and the burning still never let up. I discovered that a little healthy demon killing here and there eased the pain, made the pigs blood just that little bit easier to get down my throat. That coupled with the fact that killing something, ANYTHING, got me off.
I'd been having these headaches and they were getting worse. One night I went around to the whelps house; not for any other reason than to annoy him. Oh shit, he was always up for it. Demon girl had just blown him off and I knew he'd be feeling a little vulnerable.
Fuck, I love that word.
Vulnerable... It just trips off the tongue all smooth and silky like pre-cum or a woman's juices when you're tonguing her.
So. I went to his house, I taunted him, and he surprised me by kicking my ass. No, really. He beat the shit out of me! Not a damn thing I could do, what with the chip and all, so I just lay there on the floor whilst he kicked ten bells out of me.
He told me later I was out of it for three hours. He knew I wasn't dead as I hadn't turned to a big pile of dust, so he hung around biting his nails and gettin' all angsty 'cause he thought he had really hurt me bad. The WORST thing for him was that he came. He had an orgasm while he kicked and pounded me.
Horny little bastard. There are hidden depths to Xander; hidden depths that glimmer behind those dark eyes and screech a siren's song to me, hidden depths that I want to plunder and nurture and fuck into the mattress.
Anyhow, he told me later that after the beating he felt so light and free; all his agitation, his hate and his rage was tempered for a while.
And so it began.
Don't ask me how, or who suggested it. It just seemed to happen.
We both NEEDED.
I needed the harsh fuckin' loving that I used to get from my Sire, and he needed to pound out his frustration and rage without actually hurting anyone. Sure, yeah, it hurts me at the time, but I heal really quickly and it's not as if he could beat me to death.
But if he ever started on a human...
Little Xander has potential I haven't seen since Jeffrey fuckin' Dahmer.
So when it gets too much for him, whenever the pressure is on he comes to me for some hard, angry hurting and fucking. I don't think he realises just how addicted he has become to Dr Spike's little sessions. Huh, I could make a fucking FORTUNE as a therapist, me! Or maybe not. America's serial killer population is thriving quite nicely without any help from yours truly.
It was last weeks session, however, that changed everything. In the true style of cataclysmic happenings, things will never be the same again.
I hit him.
Funny thing is, neither of us noticed the enormity of the act at the time.
He was hurting me, as usual. I must have been in a mood, I dunno... But he bit me hard on the balls and I couldn't stop the demon coming out. Before I knew it, he was lying in a heap on the floor; big shit-eatin' grin all over his face.
'Hey... We gotta try that sometime. Next time, you can hurt me.' he grinned, all bloody mouth and hard-on.
It's funny that sometimes when the really important things happen they just pass you by. It's not until later, when that big old projector in your brain starts churning out the days events JUST before you fall asleep, that you have your epiphany.
I don't mind telling you that I wept.
For the first time since the soldier fucks violated me I actually hit a human without serious painy badness to my brain.
So. I decided to try it out.
I was very careful. Definitely did NOT want to alert the Slayer to her approaching annihilation at the hands of Mr Fangless as she is so FOND of calling me.
Oh the bloody fucking joy of it all!
I'm free. Thanks to my pet, I'm free. Oh those magic Xander feet that pounded that hated chip right out of my brain.
Ahhhh. It's silent now, he's finished.
I hear him trying to slow down his breathing. Soon he'll unlock the manacles and the wackiness will ensue.
I don't know why I felt the need to give him this one last session. I think it was primarily for me; it's the last time I'll feel his heat and his pain.
Tomorrow, he'll be my Childe and his education will begin...
Then HE will scream.
Fuck, what a beautiful piece of art he'll be; I've already unlocked those delicious, sadistic urges and when the demon takes hold, when he's Turned, he'll be the fuckin' Picasso of vampires and I his proud daddy.
You'd better believe me when I say that NO ONE will ever hurt him again.
No one, that is, except me.
Awwww, look at him now; all teary-eyed and flushed. I wonder if he can put on that helpless face so convincingly when he's Turned? I rather think he'll enjoy what I've got planned for Slayer, after all, he's always wanted to fuck her.
Time for closure.
He's seen my fangs.
Oh, the sweet smell of fear! Xander, my love... You wear it SO well!
But then, so did Finn. Another tortured boy SO in need of Dr Spike's loving attention, so in need of a lovin' daddy.
I'll be a good daddy; Angelus has taught me well.
I'll mould, I'll torture and I'll knock the fight out of them so they'll never leave me.
They'll love me like I love him.
Will it cure my addiction?
Angelus is the only cure for what ails me.
But when things are wrapped up here in Sunnydale; when the Slayer is just so much gore walked into Xander's carpet, THEN...
Then me and my brood will move to LA and pay their Grandsire a little visit; lure him back to the fold.
We need him...
I need him.
And I'm not going to take no for an answer.
Then we'll have our hap, hap, happy home.
Challenge was: Spike's chip is malfunctioning. It's up to you to decide how, what caused it (either extraneous or simply a break down), and what the (bad evil hurtful) effects of the malfunction are.
What You Get
((Gasp of pain))
Ahhhhhhhh bastard! Not that
fuckin' whip again. Christ, does he NEVER get tired of that bleedin' whip?
((Hisses in pain))
I'm not squealin', you're
not gonna break me, not again.
I'm my own man now. MY OWN
I brought you back, you
Not squealin' for you, you
Awwwww shit, who am I
KIDDING? Of course I'm gonna bloody squeal, I ALWAYS end up squealing like a
Slayer squealed like a girl.
'Specially when I scalped 'er.
I'd always wanted to run my
fingers through her hair, see if it felt as soft and silky as it looked. And it
did. If you could ignore the odd sticky blood-clot caught in there.
Now SHE had stamina. That
girl had spunk, I'm tellin' you. She lasted for five days, which is two days
longer than anyone else ever, ever.
It was the hair that done
for her, though.
When I ripped her scalp off
she seemed to lose heart. All the fight went right out of 'er.
Shame. I was enjoying meself
an' all. Hey, but that was Betty for you; she never could stand seeing me enjoy
I've met some anal people in
my time, but Slayer? Tight as a duck's ass, pet. Literally. I'll swear I had a
bruise on m'dick afterwards with trying to get into her, 'cause she was so
fucking TIGHT. Pussy was tight, too. A right good shag she was; I can see now
why Angelus was so took with 'er.
Huh, now THAT was the gig of
a lifetime, bringing the old bastard back. Was easier than I thought, but
messy. Very, very messy.
I took care of business in
Sunnyhell before I headed off to visit dear daddy.
The witches were a LOT of
fun; Red got all full of fight and such when my Xan started to chow down on
little Tara. Managed to throw a few spells in our direction before I broke her
scrawny little neck. She turned the Watcher into a newt. Funniest soddin' thing
I've seen in YEARS. Last I seen of 'im, he was making for the sewers. Some
demon most probably eat him before now.
Now Joycie was a big
surprise! Seems she had the hots for Farm Boy; BEGGED him to turn 'er and take
'er along for the ride. I saved that little floorshow for Slayer before she
kicked. Her highness was NOT overly impressed, I can tell ya!
Oh, for FUCKS SAKE! He's
gonna keep this going all bloody night, I just know it!
He's wasting his time, he's
not gonna make me submit to him. I've got my own Childer now. I'm a Master now
dammit! He's my Sire and I wanted him back, yeah, but I'm not the lame fuck I
used to be, it's not gonna be the way it used to be, I'm Spike! I'm William the
fuckin' Bloody you prick!
Fuckin' give me SOME
Where's he going now?
Why the fuck is my pet here?
Oh right. Schools in, Angelus is all fired up and Xander is in the learning
He's gone all silent fury on
Can't see behind me...
Oh fuck, I knew I'd pissed
'im off, but...
'No... Angelus, please. Not
this, not this oh bloody fuck, Sire... NOT THIS!'
((Whimpers in fear))
((High pitched scream))
Oh Will, Will, Will....
WHAT am I gonna do with you
Maybe I'm being to harsh on
him. He did bring me back after all and Christ, it feels so good to be free!
Soul Boy never knew what
fucking hit him. Thought he was SO smart, SO strong; but as usual all it took
was that skinny little bitch to get him all hot under the collar. Oh baby, he
really lost it big time when old Spikey produced that blonde scalp; it had her
stink all over it! He just sorta crumpled up; gave it up like a cheap whore,
let me ease on out as nice as you like!
Thats one of the funniest
damn things I've been witness to since... Oh fuck, I dunno. In a long time. I
had a ringside seat too; it kinda had more impact being inside him and FEELING
What. A. Rush.
Of course, his pain is my
pain... in a matter of speaking. I really wanted to do the Slayer myself, pay
back some old debts, you understand. And I REALLY wanted to watch Spike fuck
her. In fact, I wanted it to be a gift from me to him some day; I know he's
always had a hankering for her.
Now, I know he thinks I'm
punishing him because of the Slayer. Maybe just a little.
But that's not it.
'Course, old Spikey wasn't
to know I'd always wanted Xander. Soul Boy managed to hide it well. Wouldn't
have done for Angel to go butt-fucking the Slayer's little friends, now would
But I gotta admit, when I
knew Spike had Sired him it REALLY pissed me off big time.
That's probably why I rode
Wesley so hard. Damn near split him in two. Bloody Watcher; no fucking stamina,
but what an ass! Ummm ummm ummm. Tasty morsel.
God, the boy looks so good.
I know he's Spikes but I've kinda taken him under my wing. Got him some decent
clothes for a start. Black leather pants, one of those nice tight Calvin Klein
tee-shirts; damn, he's a hot little cookie!
I've brought him in to watch
me play with Spikey. Xander's gotta learn, just like Will had to learn, and who
better to teach him? I'll give him back to daddy after daddy's punishment's
And after I've fucked him
some more, of course.
Back to business.
Gonna break you Spikey, you
cocky little bastard. Gonna make you scream like a girl. And I've brought a few
friends along to help me.
'Xander, my dear. Bring over
the box. CAREFULLY boy! You don't wanna hurt our guests.'
I've known Spike a LONG
I know what makes him tick.
I know what he likes, I know
what gets him hard and I know what scares the living shit out of him. To his
credit, this is the ONLY thing I know of that frightens him, although I haven't
a goddamn clue why. Some bad childhood experience maybe; we all have our little
foibles, even me.
I could torture and
butt-fuck my darling boy from now to Doomsday and he'd hang there and take it
all; he'll soak it all up like a big, horny, needy, stubborn sponge. But
This will break him.
This will make him mine,
unlife and demon, once more.
# The innsy-winnsy spider
ran up the water spout
Down came the rain, and
washed the spider out....#
Time for Xander to play.
'Xander. Open the box and
introduce Spike to our guests.'
Damn, the boy's smiling
Ohhhhh, he's really getting
off on this. There's more than just a glimmer of evil in our beautiful Xander.
Come to think of it, I'm
gettin' a little wood here myself.
((Screams in the
What? You don't wanna play
nice with our guests? Shame on you, Spike.
After all, they're just
sweet, innocent, mostly harmless although very large spiders. I'm PRETTY sure
they don't bite. Mind you, they haven't been fed for a while.
You want me to take them
Beg me, boy.
Oh fuck, there is nothing
and I mean nothing that gets me off like Will can when he begs. He's so pretty,
all blonde and pouty and all.
Kinda what the Slayer was
Except she wasn't as good a
You. Smell. So. Good.
You've never looked as
Except of course for that
glorious moment when you wore Gunn's skin after you'd carefully peeled it from
him; when you slid yourself against me, slick with blood, high on the fear and
death; when I fucked you inside his skin and you writhed and squirmed; first
black flesh, then white like some gruesome, undecided chameleon.
Fuck, you gotta admit.
When all's said and done.
When I've annihilated the
white-hats and fucked the boy.
When the fun's over and the
blonde vampire submits...
It's good to be me!
It's gonna be ALL kinds of
fun catching those spiders.
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