Summary: It's off to Buffy's birthday bash for our boys, but on the way...
Kae's Challenge Requirements: Must Haves:
Spike and Xander stuck in a confined space together.
A torch (flashlight)
The line: "No, you need to wiggle a bit to the--ah! Ah! Not that far right!"
The line: "Is that a torch in your pocket or are you just happy to..."
The line: "So, do you come here often?"
An explanation of how they got stuck whereever they are in the first place.
The two of them in a *very* compromising postition when they are found by the Scooby Gang. Must include the reactions of the scoobies.
SMUT!! Actually no, that's author's choice, but I'm putting in a heavy recommendation for it. You'll get extra brownie points.

In The Dark


'So... Explain to me again how it wasn't your fault that the elevator is now stuck between floors and we are now gonna miss Buffy's 20th birthday bash?'

Xander glared at the smirking blonde vampire who stood nonchalantly in the corner opposite him in the increasingly warm and stuffy elevator.

Spike rolled his eyes 'Oh for God's sake... How was I to know that there was a... a... what was it again?'

Another icy glare. 'It's called an 'Oh look, some asshole is tampering with the elevator buttons, let's make it plunge forty floors to their horrible, gruesome deaths' device.' Xander replied dryly.

'Huh!' Spike grunted 'Anyway. It's not like I was going to actually break them or anything, I just wanted to...'

'...See what happened when you poured Cherry Coke on them, oh well that's alright then, isn't it? Silly buttons, they should have known you were just being your usual STUPID UNDEAD SELF!'

'Bloody hell Xan, don't be throwing one of your patented Harris hissy fits! It was a laugh, that's all. They'll soon have us out - you'll see.'

Spike had just time to see Xander's mouth open in what was sure to be an indignant reply, before the lights went out.

'Ooops!' said the vampire.

There was a loud gasp from Xander's corner and then a wheezy sounding groan. 'Oh no... Please... Not this!'

'It wasn't bloody me, so don't start!' snapped the vampire.

'I didn't say it was you, did I? So just shut your unfangy mouth and leave me alone!'

'Oh, soddin' well suit yourself!'


'Ahem..' Xander cleared his throat.

' '

'Damn, I wish they'd hurry up already!'

' '

'It's getting warm in here, don't ya think?'

' '


' '

'Spike? Oh c'mon...'

' '

'This is so childish! Spike?'

' '

More frantically now 'Spike? Are you still here? SPIKE?'

' '

'SPIKE? Don't you DARE leave me in here alone, you big undead bleached freak, you hear me?'

In a panic, Xander started to shuffle his way around to the other corners of the elevator in an attempt to find the vampire, his hands sliding along the walls of the elevator, groping for contact.

A voice suddenly tickled his ear 'So, do you come here often?'

'Aaahhhhhh!' Xander squealed, and found himself up close and personal with a firm, though rather cool body.

Spike chuckled 'Squeal like a girl much, Harris? Who the hell did you think it was?'

Xander gasped for air 'I... I thought you'd gone and left me in here to rot... Alone... On my lonesome... In the.. the dark.'

Spike snorted 'Oh yeah, like I'd just floated out through the walls? Turned into a bat?'

The vampire paused.

'Oh bloody hell Xander, you don't believe all that crap about the bats, do you?'

The boy laughed nervously 'No! Of course not! What do you take me for, anyway?'

'Ohhhh let's see...' Spike paused for emphasis 'A big girl's blouse who's afraid of the dark?'

'Whaaaa? What do mean? Afraid of the dark? Who. Who's afraid of the dark? Not me, mister. Oh no. Not. In. Any way bothered or intimidated or even slightly wigged out at the thought of being stuck in an elevator... in the dark... where it's small... and dark.' The boy unconsciously moved closer to the vampire.

'Oh. OK then. And there was me thinking you were a claustrophobic, 'I'm a big baby who's afraid of the dark' sorta bloke. Which you're obviously not. Sorry.' Spike sniggered. Loudly.

'You BASTARD! Oh you're just loving this, you big freaky...' Xander paused.

A lump.

He had felt a lump.

A long, hard lump when he had shoved Spike just now.

The boy grinned in the dark. 'Is that a torch in your pocket or are you just happy...'

Xander paused. The penny dropped, as did his grin.

'No, you need to wiggle a bit to the--ah! Ah! Not that far right!' complained Spike.

Groping somewhat haphazardly in the dark, Xander found the offending article and wrenched it from Spike's pocket. 'It IS a torch! What the heck are you doing with a torch in your pocket and...OH! Just why the hell didn't you SAY SOMETHING?! You KNOW I'm afraid of the dark!'

'AH HA! So you admit it, do you sissy boy?' Spike chuckled 'I bloody well KNEW IT! Oh wait 'til Slayer hears about this! The fearless Xander Harris, famed helper of Slayers and would-be assasin of demons is afraid of the dark! Oh, this is TOO good!'

'Oh ha bloody ha Fang Free! All this from the vampire who gives great toothy grin but can't bite to save his life! Well up yours you big gummy bear! I've got the torch now and I'm gonna use it!'


'Uh oh.'


'Urmmm... Forgot to mention Xan. I hit Willie on the head with it the other night - it probably doesn't work anymore. He was gonna ban me from drinkin' in the pub, can you believe that? And all I said was that he smelt like a Feoral demon had sh...' Spike paused as he felt the boy's body tremble.

'Uhhhhh Xander? You ok?'


'Xan? What's wrong?'


'Oh bloody hell' the vamp thought 'The whelp really IS afraid of the dark.'

Oh well, no shame in that!

Spike knew ALL about being afraid.

The blonde vampire had this unexplainable fear of kittens, and that bloody Miss Kitty Whatsit pussycat the two witches had just bought REALLY gave him the willies...

Spike put his arm around Xander. 'It's alright pet, you're not alone. I'm here. Sssshhhhhh, hush now, it's alright. The dark really wigs you out, eh?'

Xander sniffled. 'Mostly. But it's the small spaces thing I can't stand; I really hate being closed in like this. Feels like the walls are closing in on you. It's even worse in the dark.'

'I know what you mean.' replied Spike solemnly 'But the worst is when their little itty claws come out and scrape along things, and they kinda look at you as if to say 'Hey! I don't care if you're a big old bad ass vampire, I'm gonna shred you into ribbons. And that noise they make, what's THAT all about? That horrible mewling, whining thing they do....Errrrrrr... I hate it!'


'Yes pet?'

'What are you talking about?'


'You're afraid... of kittens?'


'Oh.' ((Snigger))


Xander giggled again and moved closer enjoying the feel of the vampire's body against his own. He could smell that special scent that was Spike; all leather and soap and cigarettes and beneath it all something musky and earthy that kinda took his breath away and pointed his brain towards all sorts of erotic Spike-orientated thoughts.

Thoughts which were presently making themselves known in the nether regions of his trousers.

'Urmmm... Xander?'

'It's ok Spike, I won't tell anyone about the kitten thing.'

'No, it's not that.'

'What then?'

'Is that a torch in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?'

'What? Oh gods... Now wait just a minute, Spike! I can explain...'

'I'd rather you didn't, now shut up and come 'ere!'

The vampire's cool lips descended on his and Xander decided that they felt MUCH too good to waste.

Oh, what the hell!

No one would ever know.

The boy's lips parted and his warm tongue sought out Spike's, prompting a low moan from the vampire when their tongues finally met and danced. The vampire was undulating against him and Xander could feel Spike's hardness rub against his own, creating the most delicious friction.

Panting hard and flushed with desire Xander let his hands wander down Spike's lean body, over the slim hips and down to his thighs, were the boy's fingernails dug in, scraping and teasing.

Spike growled low in his throat and his hands did a little wandering of their own; doing things Xander had only ever dreamt of, making the boy gasp and moan and grind against him.

The vampire licked Xander's neck 'I wanna taste you, Xan.' he hissed as he slid to his knees, one hand resting on the boy's thigh for balance, the other undoing his zipper. Slowly sliding the trousers down around the boy's knees, Spike teased the hard member beneath the soft cotton boxer shorts, gently nipping and squeezing with his blunt teeth. 'Ohhhhh I just know you're gonna taste so good, my nummy treat' the vampire murmered.

Xander's eyes rolled back into his head.

Oh gods... he was in Heaven.

That was it!

The lift HAD plunged those forty floors and now he was dead and in Heaven, 'cause NOTHING in his whole life had EVER felt as good as Spike's teeth felt on his cock right now, and surely, surely this wouldn't happen in Hell, no; if he was in Hell then the lift door would open slowly and he would squint, blinded by the light which was right now streaming across his light-starved pupils and when he looked, when he finally got the courage to open his eyes and look he would see...

'Bmummphy!' mumbled the startled vampire.

And, oh treacherous mouth! Oh treacherous Xander Harris mouth which spoke of it's own accord, which the boy heard with aching clarity and growing horror say...

'Now Spike... Don't you know it's rude to talk with your mouth full?'

And Xander KNEW this was real, he KNEW he had said those words as Buffy's face paled and she slumped to the floor in a dead faint, as Tara clutched Willow, her eyes wide with shock; as Willow gasped 'Xander? Spike? Oh goddess!' before her hand crept over her mouth and as a wearily resigned Watcher fixed them both with a withering gaze and (was that a gleam of envy in those eyes) said in a low voice 'Spike. Xander. So glad you could make it.'

Maybe it was a mercy that the elevator doors, once again, slid shut.


The End

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