Beggars Can't Be Choosers
Wherein they need to talk
Xander woke up to find ice blue eyes watching him thoughtfully. He smiled sleepily at the blond and whispered a good-morning.
“Xander, we need to talk,” Spike said looking at him solemnly.
The brunet’s smile disappeared. “Nothing good ever comes of those words. You said that yourself,” he said quietly. He paused for a moment before continuing, “So, decided whether you feel guilty about this yet?”
“That’s pretty much up to you Xan. If you tell me you were just upset and didn’t know what you were doing then yeah, I do,” the vampire said, steadfastly looking into Xander’s eyes, trying to find the answer in their dark depths.
“And if I tell you that not only did I know what I was doing, I’d like to do it again?” the boy whispered looking down, avoiding the clear blue gaze.
“Are you sure Xander? You want to get involved with a vampire?” the blond queried, still trying to catch the human’s eye. “I may have a soul now, but the demon is still a big part of who I am.”
“I’m not asking for forever Spike. I’m not even asking you to love me. All I’m asking for is the possibility that you will someday…it’s what I’m offering too, the chance to find out.” Xander spoke slowly, willing the vampire to accept his offer, hoping that maybe, given time, Spike would love him, not Buffy.
Spike looked at the young man lying next to him and tried to examine his feelings about him. He knew he cared for Xander as a friend, but before last night he hadn’t entertained the idea of him becoming anything more.
So why had he been so upset when the brunet had revealed his bisexuality? Was it because someone he’d come to consider a friend withheld something that important or because he had been previously denied the chance to see if they could become more than that? Was he upset because Xander had gone out on a date with a guy or because it should have been him that was on that date?
He felt the boy move next to him as if to get out of bed and realised that he’d been silent for so long that Xander had taken it as a rejection of his offer. He made a snap decision and hoping to whatever god there was that he didn’t live to regret it. He grabbed Xander’s hand and pulled him back into bed. “The answer’s ‘yes’ luv,” he whispered huskily before claiming his lover’s lips in an all-consuming kiss.
Xander was fairly bouncing on the way to that night’s Scooby meeting at the Magic Shop. He held his lover’s hand and chattered happily, unable to keep a big goofy grin on his face. Xander knew that Spike still loved Buffy but he was becoming more and more confident that he could replace her in his lover’s heart. All he needed was time.
Spike himself was smiling, enjoying the boy’s exuberance and basking in his happiness. He’d never felt so at ease with a lover before. Drusilla had needed to be taken care of and Buffy…well the less said about that period in his unlife the better. He’d never just walked down the street talking about inconsequential things, just being with his significant other.
When they finally reached the Magic Shop the vampire lagged a bit to allow Xander to walk in first. The brunet burst into the shop, anxious to share his good news with his friends, not even noticing that Spike had come in at a discrete distance behind him.
“Hey guys, I got the best news! Well, Spike and I have the best news, but since I’m the one saying it, it’s really me that has them. I’ve been dying to tell you since yesterday and now I get to, which is really exciting and I’m so happy,” he babbled looking around to find Spike.
The vampire had walked further into the room and was now standing behind the research table looking horrified and frantically shaking his head. Xander frowned at the blond, immediately understanding what he was trying to convey and not sure what to make of it. He quickly pulled himself together and realising that the others had seen the exchange between him and Spike, he tried to cover for them.
“Don’t look at me like that Bleach. You promised we’d do it and we will!” he mock-scolded the vampire and turned again to smilingly address his friends. “Spike promised me that we could have a party and now he’s trying to weasel out of it. Interrupting me while in full babble mode too. He should know better than that right? Right. So, we’re having a party and you’re all invited.”
The room erupted into cheers as Buffy and Dawn teased Spike for his failed attempts to dodge a party. Willow looked at her oldest friend suspiciously before she too joined in Buffy and Dawn’s felicitations.
Throughout the research session Spike kept trying to catch Xander’s eye, wanting to apologise for his previous behaviour, but the boy resolutely refused to so much as look in his general direction, keeping his nose buried in the book he was going through.
The vampire hadn’t realised that Xander intended to tell their friends about their relationship and when he’d seen the boy about to blurt it all out he’d panicked. A million damning thoughts passed through his head: What if Buffy got angry and staked him. What if she got jealous? What if she didn’t get jealous? And Dawn. What if she got upset with him? She’d only just forgiven him for trying to kill her sister. What if they cut him out of their lives again? He couldn’t face that. Not for Xander, not for anyone. He finally belonged again and he couldn’t risk that. So he’d tried to make Xander stop and now his lover wouldn’t even look at him.
He was drawn from his thoughts at the sound of a chair scraping backwards.
“I can’t take this anymore,” Xander snapped.
The vampire’s eyes widened in horror, was Xander going to tell them? The brunet’s eyes finally looked at him just in time to see the fear in his eyes. Xander smiled mirthlessly at him and started for the door.
“I can’t concentrate any more guys, I have to get out of here. Need to go to the office anyway, have some paperwork that needs doing.” The boy kept his voice as even as he could and didn’t even hesitate when Spike desperately offered to walk him there. Xander didn’t bother covering the hostility he felt and angrily replied, “No Bleach, don’t bother, Buffy needs you more than I do.”
Buffy and Dawn where looking at Xander’s direction and missed the stricken look in Spike’s face, but Willow didn’t. Something was going on here and she was determined to find out what it was.
“What the hell was that all about?” Buffy exclaimed. “Spike, do you know what’s up with him?”
“Dunno pet,” the blond mumbled, pretending to be focused on whatever book he was holding.
Xander angrily strode down the street and into Churchfield Park. He walked until he reached a small lake and made his way to a huge oak tree right by the shoreline. This was where he came to think whenever something bad or confusing happened to him. This was where he headed after staking Jesse, after Cordelia broke up with him, after Buffy died. This was where he had finally accepted his sexuality. And this was where Willow knew to find him if he only waited long enough.
He’d spent the entire meeting trying to figure out why Spike had panicked at the thought of the girls knowing about them. Maybe Spike was ashamed of him. It wasn’t like Xander was the catch of the century. Then a much worse thought had occurred to him. What if Spike needed to leave a door open for Buffy to come back? He couldn’t stand that thought so he’d run...away from Spike…away from Buffy.
So that was his role then. To be Spike’s dirty little secret, warming the vampire’s bed until Buffy graced it again. Xander was sure the vampire wasn’t being deliberately cruel. The Spike Xander had come to know these past few months, the Spike he was in love with, despite all his roughness and shortcomings wouldn’t deliberately do that to someone. But the conclusion remained: Spike still loved Buffy and wanted her back. Or he was ashamed of him. Either way two things were clear to him: he was Buffy’s substitute and Spike didn’t want anyone to know they were together. The question was whether Xander could live with that.
The brunet felt warm arms wrapping around his waist.
“So…you and Spike,” Willow said softly.
“Me and Spike,” Xander replied.
“So much for the get-over-the-vampire plan then huh?” she smiled sadly.
“Didn’t want us to know did he?”
“No,” Xander mumbled
“I’m sure it’s not what you think it is Xan. Maybe he’s not ready for everyone to know yet. It took you one year to tell Buffy that you’re bi. Maybe he’s just afraid we won’t accept him,” Willow assured him.
“How’d you know what I think anyway?” he asked sceptically.
The witch smiled. “I’ve known you since we were both two months old Xander Harris. I know how your mind works. You’ve managed to convince yourself that he’s ashamed of being with you or some such crap.”
Xander turned around and hugged his friend tightly, unconvinced, but willing to try and believe. Beggars can’t be choosers, he told himself, and you’ll take anything he’s got to give. “Guess I should go find my vampire then,” he whispered and pulled back.
“Guess you should,” Willow agreed. “I sent him home after the meeting. He should be waiting for you at the apartment.”
Spike was pacing along the length of the living room mentally tearing himself apart for his stupid actions. He shouldn’t have panicked; the girls would probably accept the relationship. But to completely give up on Buffy…he wasn’t sure he was ready to do that. Which only made him feel worse. He really cared about Xander and didn’t want to ruin their friendship or whatever this was between them. Spike didn’t really think that he’d get back with Buffy but he couldn’t let go yet. He just couldn’t.
He heard the front door opened and turned to stare at the entrance. “Xander?” he whispered.
The boy appeared, hesitantly standing in front of the door. Xander didn’t know what to say, how to get over this awkwardness. “I can’t be with someone who’s ashamed of me,” he finally whispered unwilling and unable to bring up the subject of Buffy, afraid of what the answer might be.
“What? No! Xander I swear I’m not ashamed of you! I just-” Spike exclaimed, and then stopped, not knowing what to say.
“You ‘just’ what Spike? You obviously feel very strongly about not letting anyone know about us. If you wanted this to be a one-night stand all you had to do was say so. I’m not going to force you into a relationship you don’t want, I may be an idiot, but I’m not that stupid,” Xander burst out desperately, giving Spike the chance to back out. It would break his heart, but if this wasn’t what the vampire wanted then there was nothing Xander could do to keep him.
Spike immediately launched himself at Xander grabbing his hands and speaking insistently. “No! Xander listen to me, I am not ashamed of you! I’m just not ready for the girls to know about this, not yet. I’m not even sure what’s happening here, how am I supposed to explain it to Dawn. Please Xan just let it go for a while, we’ll tell them later, when we’re ready…when I’m ready.”
Xander closed his eyes against the pleading look directed at him. “I’d have to lie to them...”
Spike took advantage of the boy’s hesitation and pressed his whole body against him, nibbling on his earlobe and breathing out, “Please Xander…I’ll make it up to you”
“God Spike, how can I think when you’re doing that?”
Xander moaned quietly. “So, we wait for a while, but we’ll tell them?”
“Yeah baby, we will,” Spike whispered trailing kisses from Xander’s ear, down his jaw line to his mouth. He kissed the boy passionately, hands moving down to open Xander’s jeans pushing his hand inside and massaging the hardening cock he found. Spike went back to nibbling on his lover’s sensitive earlobe. “Not ashamed of you pet. Want you so much. Can I have you Xan? Can I?” he murmured.
The brunet moaned in reply and hastily pushed his own jeans down before attacking Spike’s own. The vampire felt a second of relief that Xander had let himself get distracted from their conversation, before the boy dropped to his knees and took Spike’s cock in his mouth.
Xander closed his lips over Spike's hardening cock, sucking it hard making the blond moan.
"Oh fuck, that's it pet, take me in. Suck me Xander, oh yeah, just like that."
Xander bobbed his head up and down the vampire’s shaft enjoying the taste and feel of it in his mouth. He used his hands to caress Spike's balls, rolling and tugging them gently. When he felt Spike about to come, he stood up and, mimicking the vampire’s previous teasing, he nibbled on his earlobe and whispered, “You wanted to have me Spike. Asked so nicely too. Aren’t you going to?”
Spike’s immediate reaction was to step out of his jeans and growl at Xander to do the same. The minute they were off he grabbed the boy and bent him over the back of the couch, pushing his coat and shirt up to his shoulders before freezing completely “Damn it, we need lube,” he growled in frustration.
“Coat pocket,” Xander replied, voice muffled by the coat hanging over his head.
“Excuse me?” the blond replied incredulously.
“I was planning on using it before we got home.” His voice was quiet now, remembering why he didn’t get a chance to use it.
“Right, exhibitionist streak, check,” Spike said lightly, trying to distract him again. He straightened the coat and grabbed the lube before throwing it back and hastily slicking a finger. Can’t let Xander lose the mood. He reached one hand around his lover’s body grabbing his cock and pumping it a couple of times, while tracing and teasing his hole with his other hand. By the time he finally pushed his finger in Xander was writhing and moaning for more.
“Damn it Spike do it now,” he demanded and Spike was
only too happy to get his lover ready as quickly as possible and slam his cock inside him.
“This what you wanted pet? Cause this is exactly what I had in mind, taking you, having you, fucking you ‘til you can’t take anymore,” the blond said, a shallow thrust following each phrase.
“Yeah, just more, need it faster Spike, harder, oh God,” Xander gasped as Spike gave him exactly what he needed “Oh God, like that,” he breathed and gasped when the vampire resumed pulling him. A few seconds later, he arched and came all over the back of the couch swiftly followed by Spike.
The blond let himself topple over the couch to land near Xander’s face. “Bed now?” the boy mumbled.
“Yeah,” Spike lazily replied.
Spike laughed. “Sure pet, gimme a minute.”
A few moments later he rose and picked Xander up, smiling softly when the brunet nuzzled against his neck and murmured a thank you. The vampire gently lowered Xander on the bed and helped him take off his coat and shirt before undressing himself and sliding in next to him.
Xander laid his head on Spike’s chest and hugged him close. “We’ll tell them?” he asked sleepily.
“Yeah, pet. We’ll tell them. Soon.” Spike sighed petting Xander’s hair. “Go to sleep now."
Wherein Xander has to deal with some issues
Xander and Spike had been living together for about six months and had been together for half that time. Everything was well in their world.
The only cloud in their horizon was Spike’s persistence to keep their relationship a secret. Every time Xander tried to bring up the subject the vampire would clam up or find a way to distract the young man. Even though Xander let himself be distracted, the fact that his boyfriend refused to acknowledge him in public and the strain of hiding his relationship from his friends was affecting him badly.
The only reason he managed to keep it together so well was that he could, at least, talk about things with Willow. Xander hadn’t told Spike that Willow knew about them. He feared that the blonde would freak and put a stop to their relationship, which only added another burden to his load.
“Hey Willow, how goes the exciting world of magical retail?” Xander greeted his friend as he entered the magic shop, smiling cheerfully. Willow had taken over Anya’s position as manager of the shop and recruited Spike’s help as soon as he was capable of providing it.
“Hey Xan.” Willow smiled. “The exciting world of magical retail is completely without excitement today and I’d like to keep it that way thank you very much. You here to pick up Spike?”
The vampire may not like magic being directed at him but a century or so with Drusilla had taught him a lot on what to avoid selling to innocent, and not-so-innocent customers. Not even Spike could withstand Willow’s big green eyes and her patented lost puppy look. When Xander found out that his best friend had convinced the blond to work with her, he burst into near hysterical paroxysms of laughter and couldn’t stop for nearly an hour.
Spike had not only pouted, but he’d refused to go near Xander for one entire day and night. By the middle of the second day Xander had been begging for forgiveness and promising never to tease the vampire about anything ever again, and could he please come back to bed now?
“Yup. We’re going to watch Pirates of the Carribean. Again. I swear Spike has a crush on that Sparrow guy. I’m a little bit jealous I think,” Xander replied. “So where is my bleached wonder?”
“At the cellar. Want some kissy time?” Willow smiled at the happiness exuding from Xander.
“Hell, yeah!” Xander said, already on his way.
He spotted Spike in the corner leafing through a book, a frown of intense concentration on his face. Xander walked behind the blonde and wrapped his arms around him. “Hey sweetheart, wanna give me a kiss?” he whispered.
Spike smiled and turned around, kissing Xander softly before withdrawing from his arms. “No distractions pet,” he said. “I wanna watch the film.”
“But we already saw it five times Spike!” Xander exclaimed.
“So wouldn’t you rather go home and have hot sweaty sex?” The boy cajoled.
“You spent too much time with the ex-demon luv, her straight talk must have been catching. And no, we’re not going home, we’re going to the cinema,” the blonde said firmly.
They ended up going home, hot sweaty sex being significantly more important than a sixth viewing of Jack Sparrow, sexy pirate-man or not.
A few nights later, the whole gang was at The Bronze hanging out and generally having the non-Hellmouthy kind of fun. Dawn had begged and pleaded until Buffy let her come along and she perched at the end of her chair looking around the club in wide-eyed wonder.
“Hey, bit, wanna learn how to play pool?” Spike asked looking at Buffy for approval of his offer.
Dawn turned huge pleading eyes at Buffy and erupted into a “Can I? Please Buffy can I?” monologue not even stopping for breath until her sister laughingly agreed to her request.
And that was how Xander ended up watching Spike teach Dawn to play pool, leaning close to her and laughing at something she said. Spike laughed a lot during the pool lesson and Xander found himself uncomfortably envious of the time he spent with Dawn. He wanted to reach out and touch his lover, hug him tightly and whisper in his ear. But he couldn’t do that ‘cause the one thing Spike demanded of their relationship was that it be a secret.
“Hey Bleach,” he called, “wanna come help me get the drinks? I’ll even buy you real British beer.”
Xander grinned as Dawn was summarily delivered to her sister and Spike headed for the bar. The beer trick worked every time. The brunet used the crowd at the bar as an excuse to press against Spike’s back. “Did I tell you lately how hot you look bending over the pool table? I got half hard just watching you teach Dawn how to play,” he whispered and flicked his tongue over the blonde’s earlobe. “What I wouldn’t give to have you home right now, bent over the couch with me buried inside you.”
Suddenly Spike wrenched himself away and marched purposefully back to their table. Xander hesitantly followed him, wondering if he’d gone too far and upset the vampire. But no, Spike was explaining to the girls that Harris was feeling like shit, and what would you expect from a whelp like that anyway, so they were heading home. The boy did his best to look suitably sick but he couldn’t help grinning like an idiot all the way home.
Xander’s indulgent attitude towards Spike never really lasted long though. It was usually broken by some little lie he had to tell Buffy to stop her from suspecting, or by any outing where he wanted to hold Spike’s hand but couldn’t. Of course, at this moment in time the last thing in Xander’s mind was relationship issues. He was stalking down the sidewalk alternatively glaring at the blonde and grumbling about vampires, souled and unsouled, and their violent tendencies.
“Did you really have to do that?” he snapped, once again glaring at the vampire walking next to him.
“Gotta let the demon out to play Xan. Don’t want me ending up like the Poof do you? All repressed and staring longingly at humans’ necks,” Spike cheerfully replied.
“You took his head off! With your hands!” his companion stated incredulously.
“You splattered me with his innards in the process. I’m drenched in green blood!” Xander exclaimed exasperatedly. “It’s gonna take ages to wash this off,” he sighed.
Spike grinned at him happily. “Oh, I’m sure I’ll find a way to make it up to you,” he said.
Xander was immediately interested. “Go on,” he urged.
“Well, we could have a shower together…” Spike said thoughtfully.
“Yes?” Xander encouraged.
“And I could do that thing you like with the fingers and the tongue,” the vampire concluded.
“You mean the one where your fingers go…and your tongue goes…” Xander’s eyes glazed over and he grabbed Spike’s arm and started running for the apartment, dragging the laughing blonde behind him.
Following the shower, during which Xander’s ecstatic screams could be heard throughout the apartment, both men tumbled in a heap on the couch, settling down for their post-patrol ritual of random TV ridicule.
Xander assumed his favourite position, lying on his stomach across the couch, head resting on Spike’s lap, and sighed softly when the vampire absentmindedly played with his hair. He loved quiet moments like this, when there was no need to pretend not to know Spike as well as he did, or to snatch his hand back before touching the blonde, fearing that someone would see and understand. During these moments he could pretend that Spike was his and his alone.
He woke up the next morning, still in the same position. Looking up he saw that Spike was also asleep with his arms stretched over the back of the couch, head resting on one of his arms. Xander smiled sleepily and nuzzled into the vampire’s jean-covered crotch. Encouraged by the response he got, he unzipped the jeans and snuggled closer. Feeling too sleepy still to move he started licking Spike’s dick, lapping it with his tongue wherever he could reach. Hearing a soft moan Xander looked up to see warm blue eyes watching him and paused to smile and offer a good morning to his vampire.
“Don’t stop luv,” Spike sighed, “feels good.”
Xander smiled and went back to his task. He was just beginning to contemplate the pros and cons moving for maximum pleasure when the doorbell started ringing insistently. Xander glared at the direction of the door, it was early in the morning on a Saturday. Who the hell was interrupting his early morning nookie?!
“Guys? It’s Buffy, are you in?”
Spike immediately leaped off the couch throwing Xander on the floor in the process. “Shit. Sorry Xan,” he said anxiously, zipping up his jeans and rushing to the door.
“Don’t mind me. I’m only the boyfriend. I’ll just go change then,” the brunet muttered snarkily and headed to his bedroom.
He came out a few minutes later to see that Buffy had taken his place in the couch and the pair was deep in what seemed to be a very intense conversation. Best put the happy ‘friend-of-Spike’ mask on then.
“Hey guys, this a private party or can anyone join in?” he said cheerfully.
“Actually, this is kind of private, pet,” Spike replied looking decidedly uneasy. “Maybe you should go for a walk or something.”
The friend mask slipped for a moment as Xander stared at the blonde’s bent head, confusion and sadness in his eyes. He rallied quickly though and did his best to keep his voice light. “Right. Walls are thin in this apartment, you never know what I might hear,” he said and got out of there as fast as he could.
Xander spent the morning wandering along Sunnydale, trying hard not to think about what was happening back in his apartment and failing miserably. Buffy wanting to talk to Spike was no big. She talked to him every day. And just because Spike said it was personal didn’t mean it was about his relationship with Buffy. It could be about Dawn or something. Except if it was about Dawn why did they send him away?
And so his thoughts went, going down a spiral of depression and uncertainty until he couldn’t take it anymore and started for home. He’d been gone for four hours, they were surely done by now, unless they were celebrating something. Maybe in Spike’s room. God no, not that. Spike wouldn’t do that to him, not without clearing this thing between them first. He hurried even more, needing to get this over with one way or the other.
He burst through the front door and the first thing he saw was Spike and Buffy, still on the couch, heads close together. Spike was holding Buffy’s hands in his, Xander noted in a weirdly detached way. They were both looking at him, identical shocked looks in their faces. Buffy stumbled up from the couch and said something about having to go, looking at anything but Xander.
“No, you don’t have to…I mean…I’ll just be in my room then,” Xander mumbled and practically ran to his bedroom. Oh God, it was all over. He should have known. He should have seen it coming, why hadn’t he? Xander sat on his bed, frozen in place, unable to think.
“Luv, could you come sit with me a minute, there’s something I have to tell you,” Spike said quietly from the doorway.
Xander turned to look at his lover blankly. “Okay,” he said quietly, needing to hear this, actually hear Spike tell him it was over. He went over to the couch and sat down, staring at the floor, willing himself not to react.
Spike sat next to him quietly for a few moments, trying to work up the courage to say what he wanted. He knew Xander was in love with him. A blind person could see what the boy felt; he was carrying his heart on his sleeve.
Finally he took a deep breath and said, “I love you.”
“I know you do Spike, as a friend,” the boy said flatly, still expecting Spike to let him down gently.
“No, Xander I love you. Buffy and I had a talk, we’re friends. That’s all we’ll ever be. And, throughout the whole conversation all I could think about was you, how you looked when you left…how I loved to see you smile…how I wanted to be the one to make you smile. I love you Xander,” he repeated, looking intently at him.
Spike watched as Xander just sat there looking confused until he couldn’t take it anymore. “Damn it boy, don’t you understand?” he yelled, “I, William the Bloody am in love with you Alexander LaVelle Harris!”
Still Xander just sat there staring uncomprehendingly. Spike was soon worried and babbling. “Xan? You okay? Bloody hell pet, I really thought this scene would play differently. You’re supposed to smile and jump my bones or something, but no, not you. You have to go catatonic.” He paused and willed Xander to respond. “Xan? Xander?”
Meanwhile Xander sat perfectly still while the world rearranged itself around him. Spike was not letting him down gently. He wasn’t letting him down at all. Spike was in love with him. His Spike loved him. He heard Spike call out his name and it finally sank in: Spike loved him. Letting out a whoop of joy he tackled his vampire to the floor and started kissing him everywhere he could reach, chanting ‘I love you’ between kisses.
“Now that’s more like it,” Spike laughed.
Xander finally focused on Spike’s lips, holding the vampire’s face between his hands and exploring his mouth thoroughly. He paused for breath and looked down at the vampire, wide-eyed and awed. “Mine?” he whispered.
Spike smiled at him, saying softly, “Yours, Xan.”
“Mine.” Xander repeated confidently. He reached down and palmed Spike’s hardened cock through his jeans. “Mine” he stated.
Spike whimpered and arched into the touch. Whatever he had been going to say was smothered by Xander’s lips. Still kissing him, Xander undid the vampire’s jeans, and reached one hand inside to pump Spikes’ cock while the other sneaked under his shirt to find and play with his nipples.
When he felt the blonde about to come, Xander stopped everything he was doing and stood up. He looked down at Spike, taking in the wide lust-filled eyes, the bruised lips and the oh-so-prettily aroused body and grinned. “You love me,” he said delightedly.
“I’m gonna love you a hell of a lot more if you get back to what you were doing, pet!” the vampire growled.
“Bedroom. Want lube. You love me.” Delighted grin still firmly in place Xander headed for the bedroom only to be tackled into bed by the now naked vampire.
“I love you,” Spike whispered into his ear, making Xander’s grin widen.
“You do!” he said and turned onto his side, vampire still firmly attached to his back and now licking his nape lazily. The brunet reached to the night table for the lube and then turned again in the circle of Spike’s arms.
“You love me,” he said confidently and kissed him passionately.
“Clothes off Xan,” Spike said the minute the boy stopped to breathe. Xander disrobed as fast as was humanly possible and then launched himself at Spike again, plastering his body against the blonde’s and kissing him again, whispering ‘you love me’ against his lips.
Not breaking the kiss Xander moved them so that Spike was half draped over him. He grabbed Spike’s leg and draped it over his waist. Realising what the boy meant to do Spike wriggled so that he could accommodate him better. Xander snapped open the tube and blindly covered his fingers. He reached around Spike’s body and traced his cleft, moving unerringly towards one target. When he reached it he pulled back from the kiss. “You love me?” he asked breathlessly.
“I do,” Spike confirmed and moaned when his answer was swiftly followed by Xander’s finger entering his hole.
Xander started thrusting his finger in and out and Spike spread his legs wider, trying to give the boy greater access. He buried his face in the brunet’s neck, unintentionally giving Xander a good view of his finger sliding in his pucker. The brunet watched as he a second finger joined the first in stretching Spike. He smiled when the vampire started panting and thrusting, effectively humping Xander’s body, breathing faster and nibbling on his neck. The brunet began to finger fuck him harder and faster, swiftly adding a third finger.
He bent his head and nibbled on Spike’s ear. “Mine,” he whispered intensly.
“Yeah, pet all yours. Now fuck me goddamnit!” The blonde lifted his head to glare at Xander who giggled unrepentantly and stated once again, kissing him after every word “You. Love. Me”. He paused to smile at Spike and then went on, “Now turn over, on all fours.”
Before Xander could even finish the sentence Spike was in position and growling at him to get on with it. The boy grinned at his lover’s impatience and dutifully slicked his erection up and positioned himself behind Spike.
“Tell me,” he ordered, pressing his cock against the vampire’s pucker.
Spike took a breath and said, “I love you Xander.”
The second he heard the words Xander slammed himself in and started fucking Spike hard and fast chanting ‘mine, I love you, mine, my vampire, my Spike, you love me’. Feeling himself come closer and closer to orgasm, he grabbed Spike’s dick in his hand and started pumping him, asking desperately, “Tell me Spike. Tellmetellmetellmetellmetellme.”
“I love you Xan, I love you,” Spike whimpered breathlessly.
The words pushed Xander over the edge, still whispering, “Mine, I love you, mine.”
Both human and vampire collapsed in an ungainly heap on the bed, breathing harshly. A few minutes later the discomfort forced them to move. Xander laid his head on Spike’s chest and nuzzled into his neck. “Love you Bleach,” he said sleepily.
The blonde hugged him tight and placed a kiss on the top of his head. “Love you too, pet. Now go to sleep, you still have to go to work tomorrow.”
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