"Huh. Ew." Buffy looked around and dusted off her hands, then wiped them on Xander's jacket.
"And when did I become your personal hand towel?" Xander looked down and frowned. That was never going to come out.
"Well I'm not wiping it on me. Do you have any idea how much this skirt cost? "
"And did you see that?" Buffy waved her hands in the air. "What was up with that? Aren't they supposed to go 'poof'? It's not right to just change the rules mid-Slayer."
"Yeah," Willow huffed. "I had to do a--a thing--with magic and--it wasn't pretty."
"I told you lot. They're not vampires." Spike walked up and kicked his Docs at the pile of whatever that was that was left when one of those weird vampires dusted. It was like dust, but not.
Xander tried not to laugh as Spike got some of it stuck to his boot and oh-so-casually scraped his heel along the grass with a scowl on his face.
"Spike, trust me, that was definitely a vampire." Buffy shuddered, walking ahead and keeping an eye out for more of them. "He was pretty fast, too. And strong."
Willow nodded. "Very strong. And sort of chiseled, like marble. Ooh! And did you notice his eyes? And his hair?"
"Yup, I got a definite vampire vibe," Buffy agreed. "And what was up with that hair? Those were some seriously brassy highlights."
"Well, the color was iffy, but he had very good hair--sort of poofy and--Hey! Maybe that's a vampire thing. Because they can't see in the mirror so they have to trust the guy at the salon who says, 'So you want me to just trim a little off the ends?' Only then he trims it a lot before you can say, 'Yikes!' and so you walk out with weird, poofy hair and you have to wear a cute hat for a few weeks and hope nobody notices."
Xander ran up and patted Willow's head. "And nobody does notice, except to think, 'Cute hats!' So, you're thinking we could do a side business selling hats for vampires having bad hair days? Which, in Angel's case, would be everyday."
Xander gave a sidelong glance in Spike's direction and grinned. Later, he was going to pay for the generalized vampire mockage, but for now, it was fun, and fun was good.
Willow laughed and started telling Buffy about the store she found with the something something he couldn't care less about, so he fell back to where Spike was lurking.
He clapped Spike on the arm, very buddy-buddy, and Spike flinched and tugged his arm away. "Sooo, Spike. If you don't think it was a vampire, what do you think it was? Demon?"
Spike shrugged and stuck his hands in his pockets. "Dunno what it was, but vampires dust."
"Dracula didn't." Xander zigged when he should've zagged and bumped shoulders with Spike. Oops.
"Watch it, Harris. Parlour room disappearing tricks."
Xander ducked his head to miss an incoming tree branch. "True. Also, Dracula didn't turn into chewing gum."
Spike was still dragging his boots on the grass, not so subtly trying to make the ick unstick.
"Giles said someone saw this guy out during the day, stalking some girl."
Spike looked up at Buffy sharply. "During the day?"
Buffy nodded. "In direct sunlight. But no poof."
"Oh, I think there was plenty of poof there, and I mean that in the fashion sense of the damned kind of way," Xander observed, and he saw Spike's lips twitch. Score one for Xander! "So you think there's another gem of Amara out there?"
Spike frowned. "No. Just the one. Still, further evidence that it's not a vampire you lot dusted. Shame, though. Would've liked to have a go at him."
"Well you should have gotten here sooner instead of dilly-dallying," Willow said, and Xander was not going to touch that one, but if he did, he'd point out that Spike had been a little too busy dillying Xander's dally to get there on time even though Xander had said they were going to be late. Of course, he'd also said, "Please, now, harder, yes!" so really, he should not be the timekeeper in any relationship.
"You can have a go at me," Xander offered, pitching his voice as low as he could, because the girls were up ahead but they were still on high alert for more poser vamps.
Spike didn't react, and for a moment, Xander wondered if maybe he was going to get the brush-off, since they were out and yet, very much not. And then Spike whispered, "Got any blood in?"
"Yeah. Eight pints or so. You interested?"
Spike grinned, his tongue coming up against the back of his teeth. And then they were ducking behind a headstone, Xander on the ground and Spike on top of him.
"I still think it was a vampire," Xander pointed out, thrusting up against Spike."He had that outsider, rebel without a--"
"thing going. Plus, he was tall, and, y'know, mysterious--"
"Anne Rice should be shot at close range."
Xander laughed and then gasped as Spike ground their hips together, hard.
"Real vampires don't glitter. Tosser."
"Hmm. Was that glitter? I would've said he sort of glowed in a devastatingly inhuman way." Xander grinned up at Spike, who looked down at him and, yup, there it was. Gameface. Hideously ugly, and yet somehow still a turn on. "So what do real vampires do, Spike? I mean--Oh fuck!"
In the distance, Xander could hear Buffy saying something to Willow that ended in, "--ucking again?" and Willow said something that sounded like, "mumble mumble ever stop? Wish I had a..."
And then the voices faded and there was only Spike--sharp teeth, hard cock, and the hottest body this side of the Hellmouth. Accept no substitutes.
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