Manchester United


The door to Spike and Xander's apartment opened with a bang.

Xander was off the sofa and into a fighting pose in an instant. He relaxed when he saw what was in his doorway.

Buffy stood with a very drunk Spike leaning against her.

"Have fun?" Xander asked, already knowing the answer.

"Oh, yes. Loads of fun. Much fun-ness was had," Buffy answered.

"Oooh! Sarcasm!" Spike said, trying to stand up by himself.

Buffy sighed and propped Spike against the wall then turned to Xander. "You owe me big time."

"I know. And I'll make it up to you." Xander promised.

He turned to Spike, who was barely able to keep himself upright on the wall. "So, who won?"

"Who won?" Spike opened his eyes and started to push himself upright. "Manchester United won!" Lurching off the wall, Spike proceeded to give a rambling recap of the game. Complete with reenactments.

Xander sidled over to Buffy. "You getting any of this?"

She laughed. "Nope. And it didn't make much sense when we were watching it either."

Spike, while demonstrating a play, tripped over the coffee table and landed face down on the carpet.

"Um," Buffy started to ask.

"It's ok. He's fine. No blood. I'll pick him up after you've left." Xander smiled fondly at the inebriated vampire.

"I so do not get you two."

Xander chuckled. "Sometimes I don't either. But he is a cute little drunk, isn't he?"

Before Buffy could answer, Spike started singing, "Say hello to the rug's topography / It holds quite a lot of interest when you're face down on it..."

Buffy looked at Xander, and they both cracked up.

"Does he always sing appropriate songs when he's drunk?"

"Sometimes. But this is a new one."


They stared at the now silent Spike.

"Did he pass out?"

"Probably. How much did he have to drink?"

"I have no idea. I spent most of my time checking out the cute guy sitting at the next table."

"Buffy! You were supposed to keep an eye on him."

"I couldn't help it. The cute guy kept standing up to cheer and he was wearing these really tight pants."

Xander sighed. "It's ok. I wanted to thank you again for helping me out by keeping him entertained tonight."

"No prob. Get everything taken care of?"

"Yep. It's all done."

"Great! Well, I'm tired. I'm gonna head home. Keep me posted and let me know what he thinks." Buffy gave Xander a quick kiss and a hug. She glanced at Spike on the floor and gave a quiet laugh. "He sure does take his soccer seriously."

"It's football, you silly bint." Spike growled from the floor.

"Yes, Spike. It's football." Xander rolled his eyes.

"I heard that eyeroll."

"You did not."

"Did too."

"Did not."

"Ok. And with that lovely show of domesticity and adult conversation, I'm going home."

"G'nite Slayer." Spike mumbled.

"Night-night, vampire." Buffy gave Xander another quick hug. "Night, Xander."

"Night, Buff. Have a safe trip home."

"Will do." Buffy pulled the door closed behind her.

Xander stared at the drunk vampire. "Ok, Mr. Manchester United Is the Best Football Team on the Planet, time for bed."

"Don' wanna."

"You want to sleep on the floor?"

"Comfy. Nice topography."

Xander laughed. "Yes, the carpet does have a nice topography, but it's not as comfy as the bed. And if you sleep in the bed, you can sleep next to me. And did I mention that I'd be naked? In this bed?"

"Nekkid?" came the quiet voice from the floor.

"Yep. Starkers."

"Help me up. Floor's bloody hard."

Xander rolled spike over then pulled him to his feet. "Ready to go, drunken vamp?"

"'m not drunk."


"No. 'm not. Just a little tipsy." Spike wrapped himself around Xander. "Had to celebrate. My team won, you know."

"Yeah, I'd heard that." Xander started walking Spike towards their bedroom.

"Why'd you make the Slayer take me to see the game at the pub?" Spike asked petulantly. "You were supposed to go with me."

"I know I was," Xander said quietly, "but I needed to take care of some things and I needed you to be elsewhere."

"What things?"

"Well, there's a certain anniversary coming up, and I needed to get presents."



"For me?"

"Yep." Xander maneuvered Spike onto the bed.

"Can I open them now?"

"Nope. You'll have to wait till tomorrow." He started to undress Spike.

Spike decided that he was going to help and managed to get his head stuck in the armhole of his t-shirt.

"But it is tomorrow," Spike said, his voice muffled by the shirt.

Xander patiently extracted Spike's head from the sleeve and pulled the shirt off. "But it's not the right time yet."

"Oh." Spike laid back on the bed as Xander tried to take Spike's boots off. Spike kept wiggling.

"Can you hold your legs still so I can get your boots off? Because if the boots don't come off, you won't sleep in the bed nekkid with me."

Spike stilled. "Whoops. Sorry."

"No problem."

With Spike staying very still, Xander was able to undress him quickly and tuck him into bed.

Pausing only long enough to turn off the lights, Xander stripped and climbed in next to Spike. Spike immediately wrapped himself around Xander.

"Happy Anniversary, Spike." Xander whispered.

"Happy Anniversary, love." Spike answered then immediately fell asleep.

Xander drifted off to sleep, serenaded by the soft snores of his drunken vampire.

The End

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