Pairing: Spike/Xander, and they've been together awhile.
Disclaimer: They're not mine. And surely if they read this, they never will be.
Rating: Psh. Like PG.
Summary: Xander is faced with his biggest rival yet. And it pees in a box.

Untitled Anniversary ficlet


Xander came home to a frightening sight. There was a beast sitting on his table. It growled like a tractor in heat. Its yellow eyes froze him in the doorway.

It had a pink and blue birthday hat on its head.

“What’s going on?”

The beast’s tail flicked. Spike poked his head around the corner. “You’re home!”

“Why is that on our table?”

“It’s Perry’s birthday!” Spike scooped up the creature, or Perry if you must, and it quickly snuggled into the coveted spot against Spike’s chest. It glanced smugly at Xander from the vampire’s embrace. “He’s two years old today.”

Two years of war, my foe. If only I had backed all the way down that driveway, you dirty fiend.

“Go on, put your hat on.”

Xander glanced at the hat on the table. He looked back up at the cat. Perry was hiding his grin behind Spike’s protective arm. He turned to his lover, a pleading expression on his face.

But Spike was stern. “Come on, Xand. Remember what I did for you the other night?” There was raising of naughty eyebrows and pouting of lower lips.

Xander gritted his teeth and picked up the hat. He strapped the pink and blue disgrace to his head.

There was a loud rumble from Spike’s arms. “See? He likes it.” The vampire pecked the cat on the head.

Yellow eyes watched Xander mockingly. Damn you, you smelly life-ruiner. I will grind you into puppy chow and tell Spike you ran away.

“Thanks, pet.” Spike leaned in and placed a light kiss on Xander’s lips.

. . .Well, maybe it’s not too bad.

Suddenly there were needle-like claws digging into Xander’s stomach. “No, Perry!” Spike pulled the attacking cat off and set him on the table. “He’s just so excited to see you,” he assured a wincing Xander.

Perry blinked innocently from his perch.

There was a beep from the kitchen and Spike hurried away to take our Perry’s cake. Cake.

“Oh, you’ll regret this.” Xander promised before the vampire could return.

Perry purred giddily and leaped off the table.

He wanted to be far, far away when Xander discovered a strategically-placed furball in his drink.

The End

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