Because every once in awhile I have to let off some Spander steam.

This is possibly the beginning of my lucid dreaming fic. or this may be it. i don't know.
Thanks to [info]savoytruffle for linking me to the make/model of Xander's car so that I can put it in this fic.

Also, the lucid dreaming idea is from Jayne Ann Krentz's novel Falling Awake.

untitled spike/xander


Xander stood in a pool of moonlight as he unlaced his eye patch and pulled it free. He rubbed at his temple, smoothing out the marks left by the too tight laces. Throwing back the blankets, he slipped into bed, his naked skin sliding against the cool sheets.

He shifted until he was comfortable, arms at his side, eyes closed, then began his breathing exercises. It'd been over a year since Sunnydale had disappeared into a crater that the rest of the world attributed to the whims of California's San Andreas Fault. Xander knew better, of course.

The destruction of Sunnydale had cost him more than just his eye. It had cost him a lover, too. And sometimes, Xander wondered, if it had cost him his sanity as well.

The one thing he'd gained would never balance the scales, but it helped to ease some of the pain.

Xander concentrated on his breathing, then pictured his Uncle Rory's old Bel Air idling patiently against the curb. The hood was warm, the car rattling ocassionally as it waited for Xander to take the driver's seat.

Xander slid in easily, slamming the door shut and not bothering with the seat belt. He didn't need it here in the Gateway. The crater that was once Sunnydale loomed before him and, as always, he floored the gas and flew into the empty maw.

He wasn't afraid, he never was in the dreamscape. And having dreamed through this gateway over a hundred times since first realizing he'd gained the ability to create his own dreams, the shock factor was no longer an issue. It was always the same, his Gateway. Always the familiar wheezing rattle of his uncle's old car, and the dark black emptiness of the crater.

When the car landed, the scene abruptly changed.

Xander breathed deep, taking in the scents all around him. Pizza. Smoke. The scent of decades old leather. Xander had to swallow back the lump that had suddenly gathered in his throat. At least he had this. All five senses always worked in the dreamscape.

He turned, his breath catching at the sight of Spike on the couch of his old Sunnydale apartment. He was smirking at something on the television, a half eaten slice of pizza in his hand. His duster was draped over the arm of the couch and Xander couldn't help reaching out to run a finger along the achingly familiar leather of Spike's collar.

"What's wrong, luv?"

Xander shook his head. "Nothing. Just... nothing." He moved the pizza box from the couch cushions to the coffee table and took its place beside Spike. He couldn't resist leaning into Spike's personal space, not surprised when Spike's arm snaked around his waist and pulled him even closer. It was Xander's dreamscape, after all.

Spike's lips were cool against his temple, just where the laces of his eye patch always bit into his skin. Xander closed his eyes and tried to forget that this was a dreamscape and not reality. But it was hard, at least until Spike shifted them both and took Xander's mouth in a heated kiss.

It was like a thousand kisses they'd shared before. Hungry and hard, the taste of whiskey on Spike's tongue. It left Xander feeling breathless and achingly lonely.

"Missed you," Spike said between kisses.

"God, Spike." Xander didn't have the words. He just twisted in Spike's grasp until he was laid out above him, their erections pressing together, clothes suddenly evaporating into thin air. "Need -- " Xander gasped. "Need to feel you."

"Right here, luv," Spike said, a little worry in his voice. (Sometimes, when Xander analyzed his dreamscapes later, he wondered at the worry he injected in Spike's voice. He knew it was an aspect of wish fulfillment. Knowing that the real Spike would worry if Xander acted in real life the way he did in the dreamscapes.) "I'm right here."

"I know," Xander breathed. His hips stuttered forward and he groaned. He felt Spike's hands grasping at his hips, and heard Spike's voice growl low and throaty in his ear. Xander could never stop the wetness that gathered in his eyes whenever he dreamed of Spike.

It was all so real. Except. It wasn't.

He could feel the head of Spike's cock rubbing against his, and knew he was close. He just needed one more thing. One thing that he never had in real life.

"Spike, please."

"Anything, Xan." Spike murmured, face morphing into his vampire mask. "Love you." The words ghosted over Xander's skin just as Spike's fangs dug deep into his shoulder.

Xander gasped, his body shuddering in orgasm.

He woke, sweaty and sticky, the moon still high in the dark night sky. He lay there, trying to catch his breath, not wanting to return to reality. The sudden sharp knock jolted him from his painful memories. Panic siezed him. Visitors this late at night were never good.

He stepped into a pair of boxers, hastily wiping himself down with a dirty t-shirt before pulling them up to his waist. He didn't bother with a clean shirt, just made his way to the door, grabbing his weapon along the way and unlatching the safety.

The hairs on the back of his neck rose when his first glimpse through the peephole revealed nothing. Xander debated for a moment, then realized there was no way he was going to be able to ignore the visitor. If it was a vampire, he was safe in his apartment. And if it was a more humane monster, Xander could deal with that, too.

Of course, he wasn't stupid. He left the chain on, pulling the door open only wide enough to see into the corridor. "Yes?"

"Hello, Xan."

No. Xander was awake. He was awake. Xander had to clamp down on the hysteria that threatened at the thought that he might have trapped himself in a warped version of his usual dreamscape.

"Gonna invite me in, then?"

"Spike?" Xander shook his head. "Am I -- ? Is this real?"

"Real as a newly re-materialized vamp can be, luv." Xander frowned, but didn't move away when Spike stepped forward. "Come on, Xan. I've spent months not being able to touch." Spike's looked turned naked and hungry. "I miss the feel of you, Xan."

"Oh, god. Spike." Xander scrambled to release the chain and throw the door wide open. "Come in."

The End

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