When You Lie Next To Me


When you lie next to me, here in the dark, I forget. I forget all the times I have hurt you and you me. I forget trying to kill you. I forget how different we are, dark and light. Soft and rough. Human and vampire. I forget that you are supposed to be sucking my blood out my veins, instead you suck my brains out my cock. I forget all of that, it's not important, here in the dark.

I remember instead. The first time I looked at you. Really looked, not just saw. The blue of your eyes, I have only seen once. It was a postcard Willow got from her cousin in Norway. The ice of the fjords is the same crystal blue your eyes are. Just as deep, and secretive. Mine are just…brown. Plain and boring and blah. Brown. And I touched your cheek; the surprise in your eyes was priceless. But I had to see if your skin was as smooth as it looked, the need was as strong as the need for air. Soft and cool like velvet over marble. And my heart stopped right then. You took my breath away. Then you tilted your head, right into my hand. I put my heart and soul at your feet in that moment. You keep them safe for now, but I know…one day soon. And I'm gonna shatter into so many pieces, I will never be put back together again. But I have you now.

I remember the first time you touched me back. You trembled. I swear to God you looked shy, just for a flash. Then it was gone, and you took me to places I had never been before. You touched every part of me, you worshiped me, that night. Like I was a king, or a god. If you left with the moon rising, that memory alone is worth the pain. You were slow, and tender, and I still don't know what I did to deserve that kind of treatment. Probably never will. Still have you now.

Every once in a while, you get this look on your face. Your eyes get all fuzzy, and you forget to breathe. Your hands still, and the very tiny corners of your mouth turn up. I could hope that you are thinking about me, but it's an empty hope. I know who she is, your Dru. It makes me sad, that little smile. I could almost wish she were here. To make you happy again. Or whatever passes for happiness with her. Strangely enough, it doesn't hurt. Because here you lie next to me, in the dark.

Oh pet. What twisted little thoughts keep you up at night? When you lie next to me, I can hear them skittering around inside your skull. Should be sleepin, all fucked out. Not worrying about anything. Don't you know I'm gonna take care of you? I forget sometimes that you are supposed to be dinner, not desert, here in the dark. When you share your warmth, your heartbeat. Your life.

I remember the first time I looked at you, saw beyond the white hat. Saw into those gorgeous eyes. Thought they were just brown for the longest time. Daft git that I am. They got golds and greens and browns. All swirled together like one of the witches potions. Magic they are. And when you look at me, with your heart splayed open for anyone to see, I drown. But I see the fear there, the waiting for disaster. Don't quite know how to tell you this, pet, but you got me for as long as I can hold on.

When you lie next to me, I can smell your tears, hear your heart speed up. I know I'm the cause of that, but I don't know how to fix it. Wish I could rip out the hearts of every bugger who ever hurt you. Have to do mine last, though. Have I ever told you I'm sorry? Begged your forgiveness? Right. Big Bad will just put that on the top of his list of things to do. Right after takin' a morning stroll to the watcher's place. Have I told you I love you? With more than sweet kisses and gentle touches? Can't you hear it when I call out your name? When I'm buried so deep in your ass that I don't know where I stop and you begin? Can't you taste it when you lick the cum off my fingers? I taste it in your tears.

I know you cry sometimes, here in the dark. You think I'm sleeping, but I'm really just soaking you up. You spend all day in the sun, where I can't follow, can't keep you safe. But I get to bask in the warmth after you get home. Get to lick it off your skin in the shower. I can smell it in your hair, long after the scent of your shampoo is gone. The sun lives in the golden streaks tangled in dark curls. Could I be more of a ponce? Alarm is gonna ring any minute now, and you will be gone again. I'll miss you, worry about you. Check you over when you come back. Fuck you and tell you with every touch how much I love you. Easy to think them, when you lie next to me.

The End

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