Written for noel_of_spike and grown from bunnies bred by my fabulously helpful flist… laazikaat suggested a Christmas Fairy take note of the snark and UST and trap them together somewhere until they fall for each other.
Betaed by laazikaat
Spike and Xander sat opposite each other and the words flew. So did the looks. Long, lingering, heated stares. The snark had become less caustic, the banter more loaded with double entendres. They were perhaps the only ones in the Magic Box still denying what was building between them. To everyone else it had become painfully obvious, weeks ago. Weeks! Now it was just plain painful.
“Willow, normally I am not one to request magical intervention, but please tell me you are able to do something to put an end to this?”
“Giles, I don’t know. I promised Spike I would never use magic on him. I promised Xander I wouldn’t either.”
“Now, surely you are more inventive than that? Can you not see another option? A loophole, perhaps.”
“Loophole? Oh, yeah, there’re plenty of those.” Willow took a volume from Giles’ shelf and laid it open on the store counter. “It is Christmas Eve, and Christmas has its own magic. Just call me the Christmas fairy,” she said with a confident grin that wavered within seconds. “Oh. But we totally have to say it wasn’t me, okay? Cause I don’t want Spike to bite me.”
“I promise you, Willow, if you can put an end to this, I will protect you with my own life. We will, in fact, blame a Christmas fairy.”
“Are there Christmas fairies?”
“Good gracious no. Oh, but that may not be entirely accurate. In some cultures, Santa Claus is thought to have originally been a fairy himself. All beside the point, however. Should Spike and Xander discover they have been, ah, magically aided, we will deny any knowledge.”
“Okay, well I think I might have something here. Technically it’s not using magic on them, but around them. We just need to find a way to get them out into the training room without making them suspicious, it’s the safest place.” Willow gathered handfuls of crystals and herbs from the shelving behind the counter.
“Consider it done.” Giles turned away from the counter and raised his voice. “Spike! Go and clean the weapons.”
Spike put his feet up on the table and folded his arms. “Sod off, Watcher. I’m not your bloody servant.”
“Xander, go and help.”
Spike jumped to his feet. “Right, suppose I can do it then. Come on then Harris, move your big arse.”
“My big ass?” Xander snorted. “You seen what’s behind you lately?”
“You been checking me out, Whelp?”
“Pfft, don’t flatter yourself.”
“I knew you weren’t as straight as you made out. You’ve been looking.”
“Oh for heaven’s sake, not another bloody word!” Giles yelled. “Get into that room and shut the bloody door.”
They both threw amused glances at Giles, but retreated to the training room and closed the door.
“Willow, please. Before I lose the will to live.”
Willow giggled and began to chant the verses over the coloured stones and smouldering herbs. While most of the words were in another language, Giles could have sworn he understood the odd phrase. Very odd phrases. He raised an eyebrow in question at her.
“Oh, I just tweaked it a little. You know. Just trying to set the mood for love. Everything in there is going to last until they leave the room together.”
Giles nodded slowly, feigning deep understanding.
Xander and Spike stood, mouths agape and stared at the room.
“Um, Spike, is this the training room?”
Spike sounded equally as confused. “It’s the right size. We came through the right door.”
“Does the training room usually have fully stocked refrigerator?” Xander asked, pointing to the glass fronted fridge in the corner.
“Never noticed one before.”
“Does the training room usually have Barry White piped though?”
Spike rolled his eyes at the low bass sound rumbling through the room. “No.”
“Does the training room usually have a king-sized bed with a leopard print cover?”
“Does the training room usually have hundreds of scented candles burning?”
Xander flushed a bright red. “Does the, umm, training roo-.”
“No it doesn’t usually have an extra large bottle of slick prominently placed on a bloody side table either.”
“Ah.” Xander spun around and tried the door. “It’s locked. WILLOW!”
“Don’t bother, mate, it’s sound proofed too. I can’t hear a damn thing from out there.”
“So we’re stuck here?” Xander asked nervously.
“What are we gonna do?”
Spike cocked his head and licked his lips as he raked his gaze up and down Xander’s body. The room was incredibly tacky and very obvious, but maybe the time for dancing around each other was over.
“Hey guys,” Buffy waved as she came in from the night’s patrol. Gosh, it’s so quiet in here. Where’re the boys?”
Giles was sitting at the table, sipping on a steaming cup of tea, a contented smile firmly in place. “Yes, it is quiet isn’t it? Pleasantly so.”
“They’re in the training room, Buff,” Willow explained. “The Christmas Fairy visited.”
“There’s a Christmas Fairy?” Buffy asked with a sceptical expression.
“Ah, there is now,” Giles said raising one finger. “And I have it on good authority, that the training room door will not unlock itself until those two oblivious idiots, have-, ah, that is to say, that they sort themselves out and come to an, ah, understanding.”
Buffy processed that for a moment, then turned to Willow. “You locked them in until they bump fuzzies, huh?”
“Buffy! Really, must you put that image in my head?”
“That’s right, they’re not coming out till they’ve done the horizontal hokey pokey.”
Giles teacup clattered against the saucer. “Willow! Good lord.”
“About time too,” Buffy said, and got herself a bottle of water.
Just before dawn, on his way back from the tiny bathroom, Xander tried the door. “Hey it’s open again. The store’s all dark, everyone’s gone. We can get out now.”
“You really want to do that?” Spike said and twisted his naked body sinuously against the satin sheets.
Xander’s jaw dropped and he slammed and locked the door. “Hell, no,” he said and dived back onto the bed with a huge grin.
The day after Christmas, Giles tried the training room door and found it locked from the inside. A satisfied but somewhat envious smile was on his face when the first customers arrived for the post Christmas sales.
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