Summary: Xander has something he needs to say.
Pairing(s)/Character(s): Spike/Xander
Season: Season 5, AU in a world where the boys are together.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: m/m kissage and implied shagging
Word count: 1,373
Disclaimer: Joss owns all.
Beta'd by: spikeslovebite
Feedback: Please!
A/N: Xander’s speech to Spike shamelessly stolen from “Into the Woods”. I got hit by the bunny when I was getting screencaps from Into the Woods and remembered Xander’s speech at the end. I’ve never read a fic which included it, or if I have I’ve forgotten about it. Anya never came back after graduation or she left again, you decide
Making It Clear
by
Kargrif
Xander walked into the Magic Box with determination.
He had something to say and it was time to say it. Past time to say it, actually, which was kinda the problem.
He and Spike had been doing…something…for the last six months. Not dating exactly, because for dating there needed to be actual dates, but there had been sex on a regular basis for at least five of those months. Of course it was hard to date when no one knew they were together, which is the thing that needed to be said.
Spike had been surprisingly okay about keeping their…whatever it was a secret in the beginning. At first Xander didn’t know whether to be insulted or relieved by his apparent reluctance to tell the others, until one night in Xander’s apartment after patrol. Xander had been debating the pros and cons of outing them to his friends when Spike had finally offered up his own reasoning behind the secrecy.
He had confided it was nice knowing he had a part of Xander the others didn’t know about, something that was his alone. Spike also confessed that he didn’t care who knew about them and that the only thing keeping him from openly showing his affection was Xander’s reluctance and fear of reaction from the Scoobies. Whatever reservations that Xander had harbored melted completely away with the shy admission.
Which was why he was here now.
He wanted to make a gesture of sorts. He wanted to let Spike know he was much more than just his dirty secret. Spike had been wonderful for months, putting up with the veiled and not-so-veiled insults from Buffy and Giles. Not so much from Willow or Tara, although Willow tended to treat him aloofly, just not with the barbed comments. Every time Xander would open his mouth to retort, Spike would give a small shake of his head.
With every missed opportunity to tell the gang about their relationship, he could see the sadness in his vampire’s eyes. He would hide his disappointment behind a leer and heated kiss, a look Xander would have missed it completely if he hadn’t been watching him so closely.
But Xander was tired of hiding. He wanted dates with his lover, nights at the Bronze and movie time at home. He wanted goodbye and hello kisses like Tara and Willow. He wanted to gush about cute things Spike had done and bitch about the things that drove him crazy with his friends. He wanted holding hands under the research table and teasing touches that flamed their passion until they could barely make it home still clothed.
He wanted it all. He wanted Spike, and he wanted everyone to know it.
The group was all present and accounted for. Giles was behind the counter, Buffy and Dawn flipping through a magazine and arguing about what was appropriate clothing for the teen, and Willow and Tara snuggled together over an ancient tome.
Xander’s eye’s moved over them quickly, coming to rest on the slouched figure on the stairs, slicked bleached hair, black leather, and tight pants and shirt. There was just a hint of a worried tilt to his head as he stared back at Xander. He would never voice his concern out loud, not in front of the others, unless there was a sarcastic lilt to his voice to hide his worry. All to hide his feelings because of fear.
But he wasn’t afraid any more. Not of this and not of his friends. If they were truly his friends it wouldn’t matter.
“Xan?” Willow called, finally realizing her friend had been standing frozen just inside the entrance the whole time. “Are you okay?”
“I've gotta say something.” He paused, taking a deep breath. “Because I don't think I've made it clear,” he continued, never taking his eyes from Spike. “I'm in love with you. Powerfully, painfully in love. The things you do...the way you think...the way you move...I get excited every time I'm about to see you. You make me feel like I've never felt before in my life. Like a man.” He shrugged, looking around the room at his stunned expressions on his friends faces before turning back to Spike. “I just thought you might wanna know.”
Xander felt a tight band on his heart release as another took its place. This was the first time he had said the words out loud, to himself and to Spike. He waited for a response, not breathing, which was difficult since he was the one in this relationship that actually needed to breathe.
Spike stood slowly and swallowed hard before nodding. “Alright then.”
Xander wanted to snort at the casual reply but he could see the flexing of Spike’s fingers and the rigid control over muscles that was the only thing keeping the vampire from reaching out and grabbing him. It was one thing to be in love with a white hat, but it was something completely different to act lovey-dovey in front of the slayer and lose his Big Bad status.
“And?” Dawn prompted, looking pointedly at Spike.
The rest of the group were still staring at the two, their heads swinging back and forth like they were watching a tennis match. Alternating expressions of horror, confusion, amusement, shock, and ick face—the last being Buffy—didn’t offer any clues as to how this was going to play out.
Giles quickly stripped off his glasses as soon as Xander’s speech was over and began searching his pockets for a cleaning cloth. “Um, perhaps we should-“
“Xander?” Willow whispered in disbelief.
“No way! This is just getting good. Spike?” Dawn asked again, ignoring Willow.
Spike threw an exasperated look her way before looking back at Xander and stuffing his hands in the pockets of his duster. “Yeah, well…love you too, don’t I?”
“Do you?” Xander countered quietly.
Spike looked up at his lover, his love, with a shy smile. “Yeah, I do.”
The pair ignored Dawn’s happy squeak as well as Buffy’s strangled gasp and quickly closed the distance between them, the others forgotten in their need to feel each other.
“Willow, did you—” Buffy asked faintly, unable to tear her eyes away from the kissing males.
“No! I did not do this!” Willow denied in indignation.
“Dawn?” Buffy turned her suspicion on the only person in the room neither horrified nor surprised at the newest freaky development.
“What? You think I did this? You’re insane! Anyone with eyes could have seen this coming months ago,” Dawn sniffed in superiority. “First the snark goes out of their fights, then they start hanging out at the Bronze together to play pool, again without the snark, then of course they patrol together every night without complaints. Are you people blind?”
“Dawn, please refrain from mentioning the B-word in front of the books or the witches,” Giles pleaded.
“Dawn?” Buffy huffed again.
“Hello? Like I’d resort to magic just to see hot guy-on-guy action,” Dawn answered, crossing her arms in annoyance, her eyes never leaving Xander and Spike, who were still locked tightly together. “Okay, maybe if I had known it was gonna be this hot I might have, but I didn’t! Damn!” she exclaimed as the two men drew back only for Xander to dive back in with visible tongue.
“Dawn!”
“What? It’s freakin’ hot!”
“Dawn!” Giles yelled, rubbing the bridge of his nose.
“Would everyone please stop screaming my name?! Jeeze!”
“Xander?” Willow spoke faintly.
When the two showed no signs of stopping, Buffy stepped forward. “Xander! Spike! Little sister in the room!”
“Hey!” the teenager protested.
Xander and Spike broke apart…barely, their lips still dangerously close and panting.
“Your place, pet?” Spike murmured, nipping at Xander’s lower lip.
“Yeah,” Xander answered back breathlessly.
“Later, kiddies. Got a bloke to shag senseless.”
“Dear Lord,” Giles muttered as Spike grabbed hold of Xander, dragging his unresisting body behind him.
“Okay, what the hell just happened here?” Xander heard Buffy demanding as they left the shop, but he had other things to worry about at the moment, like getting home quickly to get ‘shagged senseless’ by his vampire.
The gang all stood looking at each other before turning to a shell-shocked Willow.
“Xander?”
The End
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