The First Thing

Kahuna Burger

In the beginning, I was clear that the first thing I would do when I got the bloody chip out would be to go kill the Slayer. It was all her fault, after all. If she had fought alone, one on one with no little pals or ax wielding mums or spare slayers I would have beaten her fair and square years ago and never come back to this stupid town to get chipped. So, first thing, kill the Slayer.

But plans changed after I spent so many nights with the Watcher harassing me, pushing me, insulting me, making me demean myself for survival. And I decided that since I'd need a good top up of blood to make a proper fight of it with the Slayer, showing him why you either respect a Master Vampire or kill him but never, NEVER taunt him then leave him at your back became my first step. Drain the Watcher first, then kill the Slayer.

Then I started spending time with the whelp. At first with all the insults and snark, that just moved him up with the Watcher as a pre-fight snack. Smack him around some too. So first, drain the Watcher, then torture and drain Harris, then kill the Slayer.

But as I watched him with the others, I have to admit, I saw something of the old mortal William in him. A drive towards the extraordinary, a capacity in his heart to do great things, but trapped in a life of mediocrity, made even worse in his case by comparison to the superpowers surrounding him. I remembered Angelus throwing the world's biggest temper tantrum over "Xander Fucking Harris of all people" facing him down when he went to 'visit' the Slayer in her hospital room. And I started thinking about what that kind of spirit would be like freed from mortal weakness, with a demon driving it.

Let's face it, I would need someone to keep me company when I was ready to leave Sunnyhell. I've never done well on my own, and I'm not crawling back to Dru after all I've suffered. So I decided that once I got the chip out, the first thing I would do would be to make my first ever Childe. The others are so wrapped up in their lives, I figured I would be able to keep him in the basement until he rose - no clawing his way out of a grave for my Childe! Next we'd go and snack on the Watcher together - once he was freed of his soul, I was sure he'd recognize the need for revenge on the patronizing twit himself - then I'd let him distract Red while I got my fight on with the Slayer.

Now I have to admit that once I got used to thinking of him as a future Childe, Harris started really growing on me. He'd throw an insult at me and I'd imagine him being just as willful a Childe as I had been and smile. Or he'd go charging headlong into a fight he couldn't win and I'd just see what he could be with the strength to back up that spirit. Even his childish hobbies and interests had me thinking that he'd be able to enjoy the world as it changed and maintain a zest for un-life instead of stagnating like too many older vamps.

Pretty soon it was hard to tell the difference between anticipated affection for my Childe and current affection for the whelp. At the very least I didn't want him killed or broken by the Hellmouth before I could get the chip out and turn him, so I started showing him a few moves to keep the fledges off him and put in a good word to get him a decent job he wouldn't lose on account of apocalypse prevention.

And even though he was suspicious at first, he warmed up to me too. At first just getting the others to be a little more decent on general principle, making sure I got my blood when I was owed it and telling the Slayer to try asking at least one question before she punched me. But eventually we'd talk, laugh, even touch a little. Warm touches. Got to like that warmth, and wondering if he'd make an even better companion than he would a Childe.

It never hurts, after all, having someone around who can walk in the sun instead of scurrying under a blanket. A legal identity comes in handy as well. So, new plan. The first thing I would do when I got the chip out wouldn't be to turn him, but to claim him. Good deep bite with my blood mixed in to mark him, nice long night of shagging, then take care of the Watcher and Slayer and get out of town.

But if he wasn't turned, he wouldn't understand about killing his mates. Aw hell, hanging out with him enough, I had to admit that he might not even understand if he was turned, I still loved my mum as a fledge, didn't I? And while I could force his loyalty eventually, Childe or pet, well, the closer we got by his own free will, the more I wanted to keep that.

Then we got a lot closer. In that 'say no more, wink's as good as a nudge to a blindman' sort of way. His idea no less! And he insisted that we get an apartment together, because he was - get this! - tired of worrying about me in my crypt! He worried about me!

So, that brings us up to how things stand today, today being the day I finally got the chip out. And I know exactly what the first thing I'm going to do is. I'm going to walk right into the Scoobie meeting where Xan is going straight from work!

And second, I'm going to get some reject blood bank packets from the fridge...

Then, um, sit with my boyfriend and find out what's the latest threats...

Maybe patrol...

Make nice with the Slayer and help her little sis with her homework...

And, I guess, go home and get on with our lives.

Bugger. I really need to learn to stick with my first plan.

The End