In which yet another author perverts yet another icon of childhood, and we have fun with Spike and Xander.
Reading Level Four
Willow - When shall we three meet again; in club, library, or park?
Giles - When the fucking's done, when the vampire's lost and won
Tara - That will be ere set of sun.
Willow - Where the place?
Giles - On bed, belike.
Tara - There to meet with Spike.
Willow - He'll come, Graymalkin!
All - lust calls, anon. Fair is foul and foul is fair; horny screams do
[Alarum within. Enter Buffy, Xander, Anya, meeting a bleeding
Buffy - What bloody man is that? He can report, as seemeth by his
Xander - This is the vampire, who, like a evil and horny vampire, tried
Spike - Bloody hell, what? Just because I spoke 19th century
Buffy - O, valiant cousin! You what?
Spike - I said I goosed him. Maybe twice.
Buffy - Dismayed not this our captains, Xander and Anya?
Spike - Who made them captains? [Gets poked by Anya] Er, right,
Buffy - So well thy words become thee, as thy wounds. THey
Spike - Now we're talking!
Buffy - Who comes here?
Spike - Me, if you'd just tie me up a bit harder. [Gets whapped by
Xander - The worthy thane of dawn.
Anya - What a haste look in her eyes! So should he look, that comes
Dawn - God save the king! [Looks confused.]
Buffy - That's 'Slayer'. WHence cam'st thou, worthy thane?
Dawn - What's a thane?
Buffy - If you'd done your English homework, you'd know.
Dawn - In Fife, great Sister, where the Study Hallers flout the
Buffy - Great shame! I never did such a thing when I was your age!
Spike - Oi! What's this? I thought I was gonna get shag-- uh, hello,
Buffy - No more shall vampires deceive our bosom interest - Go,
Xander - Bosom? Buffy's bosom?
Anya [to Buffy] - That didn't rhyme.
Buffy - What?
Anya - It's supposed to rhyme.
Dawn - Can I go to the mall?
Buffy - Whatever! Exeunt already!
Spike - Does this mean Xan can shag me, now?
end Scene II
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