Rating: Hard R
Disclaimer: Don't own em'.
Warnings: Fluff, angst, possible spoilers for all seasons of BtVS and AtS, gets a tad graphic.
Summary: Spike doesn't want Xander to off and help his friends kill a group of troublesome elves. An argument ensues.
The Trouble With Elves
"So." Carefully, under cover of his eyelashes, Xander looked at Spike. The vampire was sitting across from him at the little kitchen table, still glowering at the cellphone Xander had placed between them, next to the salt shaker. "Elves." And he laughed. It was a nervous laugh. "That's pretty weird, right?"
The blond finally tore his angry gaze away from the phone. "No." Slowly, not loudly or in an unnecessarily rough fashion, Spike slid his chair back from the table (its legs scraped against the tile and made an unpleasant scratching noise) and stood. Without saying another word, posture tense and hands rolled into fists, he walked out of the small kitchen.
Xander breathed in deep, stood himself, grabbed the conveniently flat phone and tucked it into his shirt pocket. Then he followed.
Spike had made it as far as the living room. He had the television tuned to the news, but it was muted. He was sitting on the couch, boots propped up on the coffee table and head thrown back so that he was staring at what was apparently an interesting spot of ceiling. Xander stared at him for a long and quiet moment. Opened his mouth to speak.
"No," said the vampire again before he could manage a word.
Xander frowned. "Spike. Listen. I know you're worried. But they're my friends and I haven't seen them for over a year now. And I know you're thinking about what happened last time we agreed to help Buffy and the others with that gang of rynak demons but you can't just say no. I know I was hurt-"
Spike cut him off. "Stabbed, Harris."
Xander worked at his bottom lip with his teeth. Harris. Great. Spike calling him Harris was not a good sign. Not a good sign at all.
"I said no!"
Xander made a little gasping noise he couldn't help, flinched and took a step back at the outburst. Spike was looking at him instead of the ceiling now, not quite in game face but his eyes a deep yellow.
Xander wanted to say something. Anything. Wanted to yell, wanted to say something flip and clever and biting, wanted to tear the demon a new one for daring to shout at him like that. But he found he couldn't. He wasn't sure why, but his mind had gone blank and his tongue was trapped behind his teeth. He blinked, shook his head a little in an attempt to clear it. Then he spun around and walked out of the living room and into the dark bedroom.
He toed his shoes off, pushed his jeans down and off and pulled off his t-shirt. He tossed the clothes in a heap near his closet, heedless of the phone in his pocket.
His throat felt tight and his head was pounding. He was upset and it was stupid. So stupid because he had been in worse arguments with Spike. Much worse. This was a stupid little fight about whether or not they should take a trip and go fight some freaking elves...
Only, no. It wasn't about that. Not really. It was about his friends who he hadn't seen in a very long time. His friends who he hardly even talked to anymore and who he felt might forget all about him if he didn't see them soon. It was about an uncomfortable feeling that he had always had -- a wisp of a thought that had been in the back of his mind for years. The feeling, the thought that maybe he wasn't as necessary a part of the white hats as the others were. That maybe they didn't...maybe they had never considered him as good a friend as he considered all of them.
He fell into bed, tugged the comforter up over his shoulders and drifted into a restless sleep.
According to the digital clock on the night stand it was over two hours later when he opened his eyes again. His bed had...moved. Shifted and dipped with weight. It was Spike.
The vampire said nothing for a long time. Then he moved to rest beside Xander. And without asking the blond spooned up behind him so they were touching bare back to thin t-shirt and threw a possessive arm over his waist. Hugged him with it and pulled him closer.
Xander closed his eyes again. Felt it as the vampire mouthed at the back of his neck before inhaling deeply. I like your scent, Spike had told him before. Many times. He felt like an idiot, suddenly. Sure Spike had snapped at him. But that was only because Spike was worried about him. Because Spike cared about him. He had blown the whole elf hunt out of proportion, had turned it into something it wasn't by opening up an old wound. Picking at an old, adolescent worry and making it bleed for no other reason than he missed his friends and wanted his boyfriend to go with him to visit them. Wanted his boyfriend to want to go with him to visit them.
"I'm-" he started to say but Spike cut him off.
"I wouldn't have hurt you," said the vampire. "I won't. You know that, yeah?"
Xander rubbed soothingly at the strong arm wrapped tight around his waist, realized the vampire was stroking the scar across his belly with his thumb. The scar was courtesy of a rynak demon who had gotten happy with a knife the last time they had agreed to help Buffy.
"I know that."
The iron band around his waist loosened and then Spike's hand was moving down. To his hip, down to the elastic band of his boxer shorts.
"I know that," Xander said again. And then he squirmed and pushed back into the blond. Pushed closer.
"We'll go, pet. I'll go with you. But you have to promise to stay behind me when I say. Run when I say run." The hand made its way into the boxers, cold palm against hot skin. And then Spike was holding his cock as it hardened and Xander was breathing hard and nodding.
"I promise." Xander tried to crane his neck so he could find the vampire's lips but Spike beat him to it and bent to kiss him, devour him.
"Then I'll go with you," said Spike when they broke apart. As he held onto Xander's sex, squeezed.
But he hadn't needed to say it. Because Xander already knew Spike would go with him. Was with him. Knew if no one else really was in the long run, Spike was.
Xander already knew. Had known it all along.