Pairing: Spike/Xander, Angel
Disclaimer: I own none; all belong to Joss Whedon
Comments: Always welcomed!
Summary: Angel has come to make up with Spike about the past.
Warnings/Spoilers: Post NFA
Beta’d by: skargasm
Prompt #259 from tamingthemuse - forsaken
Don’t Need You Now
“What are you doing here, Angel?” Xander asked with a growl. Angel had been in London for over a week, not giving an explanation as to the reason for his arrival. Xander knew he was following them. Not so much them as Spike.
“I want to speak with Spike.” Angel answered as he tried looking over Xander’s head to spot his grandchilde.
Xander snorted and pulled himself up to his full height. “And when have I ever given a fuck as to what you want?”
Angel wasn’t going to play games with Xander. “I want to see him…NOW!”
“Wow that was almost scary. Do you know what would be even scarier?” Xander asked. “If only you could actually touch me. But damn this pesky barrier.”
“So what? You’re going to hide in there forever, boy? I thought you were some big hero? You stopped Willow from ending the world and saved a potential from dying at the hands of that preacher only to lose your eye. Are you that afraid of me?” Angel asked, letting his fangs drop slightly.
With a roll of his eyes Xander pulled out a cross and let his hand leave the barrier and placed the cross against Angel’s chest before Angel could even blink. Smoke erupted from Angel and he was forced to jump back and pat himself down. “Yeah that’s scary. Really Angel you should always keep your guard up. You should know better since you’ve been around for so long.” Xander pulled his hand back into the safety of his home.
“Stop baiting him, pet.” Spike said, as he came out of their bedroom.
“But it’s been forever.” Xander said with a mock pout. He walked over to Spike and was rewarded with a kiss. “You know you don’t have to talk to him. He’ll have to leave eventually when the sun comes up.”
Spike smiled slightly. “He’ll just come back when the sun sets. Might as well let him get out whatever he’s come here for so he can bugger off.”
“Fine, but he isn’t coming in.” Xander said. “I don’t want him touching our stuff.”
“Deal.” Spike walked over to the door. “What do you what, peaches?”
Angel looked between Spike and Xander. “This is a family thing so if you don’t mind, Xander. Fuck off.”
“You’re pretty rude for a good vampire.” Xander commented. “Besides I am family.” He pulled the neck of his shirt down to reveal a bite mark. “Does that mean I get to call you grandpa now?”
“He stays.” Spike said but turned his head to look at Xander. “But he’s going to keep his trap shut.”
Xander did a look of pure innocence, pantomiming zipping his mouth shut and throwing the invisible key away.
“Fine,” Angel said with a grumble. This was going to be more embarrassing than he was hoping for. “I came to apologize,” he confessed.
“Apologize for what?” Spike asked intrigued, considering that in his eyes Angel had a lot to apologize for. “For the fact that you forsaken us? Leaving us with your bitch of a sire?” Spike asked. “I was still new to this world. You were my teacher. I’m lucky I didn’t end up as batty as Dru with taking care of her after Darla abandoned us shortly after you. Apparently she never considered us family.”
Angel put his head down. “I shouldn’t have left you. But you have to understand what I was going through. You and Drusilla, you were reminders of my mist-…what evil things I had done.”
“Mistakes? That’s what you were going to say.” Spike said looking upset. “Did you ever bloody think that we were a blessing in disguise? If it wasn’t for me The First would be ruling the earth about now!” He shouted. “And I know exactly what you went through with the soul. Do you actually think it was a walk through the roses for me? You can’t even imagine the things I had to go through for it!” He was seething. “And do you think I had anyone to help me get through the first part of it? You had Buffy taking care of you when you got out of hell.”
Xander kept his promise, he kept his mouth shut but that didn’t stop him from grabbing hold of Spike’s hand. There was no way he was going to let Spike go through this alone. Spike needed this.
“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have thought of you as a mistake.” Angel said. “You’ve done a lot of good. When you were in LA you helped us stop The Black Thorn.”
Spike snorted, “Yeah and you seemed so bloody thankful to have me on Team Angel didn’t you? You couldn’t wait to get rid of me but as soon as I was convenient you wanted my help.” He stated. “You have a thing for abandoning people that mean something to you though don’t you? First me, Dru and Darla, then Buffy after that mayor thing and then at one point you left Cordelia, Wesley and Gunn because of bloody dreams of Darla.”
Angel couldn’t help the flinch that came. His friends were still a sensitive subject for him. He’s lost them all in just one year. Including Fred. “Don’t bring them into this.” He said and his voice broke slightly. “This isn’t about them.”
He knew he’d gone too far. Spike loved them too. “You want to be forgiven? Consider yourself forgiven.” Spike said. “But that doesn’t mean I want you in my unlife. I don’t need you now. I’ve got a new family.” Angel went to open his mouth in protest. “Go back to Connor. He still needs you.”
Angel wanted to tell Spike that he was still family but the passive look on Spike’s face told him not to push anymore. “All right. I’m sorry to have disturbed you.”
“No. We both needed this. Even though it wasn’t the outcome that you wanted, we needed the closure. So now we can both move forward,” Spike told Angel. “Who knows maybe one day we’ll cross paths again. Maybe one day me and Xander will welcome you as part of our family.”
“That would be nice.” Angel confessed. “We’ve got all the time in the world don’t we?” He looked at Xander. “Take care of him. He has a tendency of getting himself into trouble.”
Xander nodded. “Tell me about it.” He swallowed hard. “If we meet again, who knows maybe we’ll actually like each other. I mean I’ll be a vampire by then.”
“Maybe.” Angel said, leaving it open for future discussion. Xander was family now and he’d have to accept that. “I should really head back to LA, Connor has finals coming up and I want to help him.” He turned and began walking down the stairs.
“Angel!” Spike called out. When Angel turned around he continued. “Thank you.”
Angel nodded, there was nothing left to be said. When he made it to his car he spared one last look at Spike and Xander. They were in a tight embrace. Angel was glad that Spike had someone to comfort him. He only hoped that one day they’d meet again. Connor wouldn’t live forever and Angel couldn’t turn him. He’d already been told that, that Connor didn’t want that. That one day he wanted to start a family. Maybe if the Powers That Be ever gave him a break he would have a long line of family that he would be able to look after.
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