Disclaimer: I own none; all belong to Joss Whedon
Comments: Always welcomed!
Summary: Giles thinks an apocalypse is coming.
Warnings/Spoilers: Season 5ish
Beta’d by: whichclothes
Prompt #265 fromtamingthemuse - End Time
Apocalypse or Not?
Giles stumbled out of the training room, his glasses in his hands. Alcohol. He needed lots of alcohol.
Xander walked into the main room pulling his shirt over his head, Spike behind him doing up his zipper. “Don’t you ever bloody knock, watcher?”
“This is my establishment, Spike!” Giles said. He skipped the glass and just drank from the scotch bottle.
“But you weren’t supposed to be back in town from England until nine tonight!” Xander exclaimed. “It’s like you don’t even trust us!”
Giles shot Xander a look. “And obviously there is a reason for that!” He took another drink. “What the hell were you doing back there with Spike?”
Spike snorted. “You got a good look. Has it been that long for you?” he asked and straddled a chair.
“Oh Lord,” Giles said and began to actually look panicked. He began pulling books from various shelves as Xander and Spike looked at each other in confusion.
“Hey, G-man, what are you doing?” Xander asked. “Isn’t it a little late for research?”
Giles ignored him and started looking through the books. The only reason he looked up was because Buffy and Willow walked in, Willow carrying a box of donuts.
“Giles? What are you doing here? I thought you wouldn’t be back until later tonight.” Buffy said. “Oh God, is the world ending again? I just got my nails done!” she complained.
“Thank goodness you are both here!” Giles exclaimed. “We need to research. Now!”
Willow dropped into a vacant chair and grabbed a book. After a few minutes of paging though it she stopped. “Um… what are we looking for?”
“Anything about an apocalypse concerning two mortal enemies… fornicating,” Giles told them and shuddered. He was afraid the peanuts from the plane would come back up. “It’s end time.”
Buffy look on in horror. “I am NOT having sex with Spike!”
“Bloody right you’re not! I wouldn’t touch you with a ten foot pole.” Spike said with disgust. “Well… only to break your neck or rip your beating heart out of your chest.”
“Spike!” Xander hissed and slapped Spike on the back of the head. “That’s my best friend!”
Spike pouted. “I was just letting Rupert know that I’d never shag his slayer.”
“Not you, Buffy!” Giles yelled gaining all of their attention. “Xander! He and…and… and…”
“He caught me and Spike doing the naughty in the training room,” Xander finished for him. He grabbed a long john from the box and stuffed the entire donut into his mouth.
“Eww!” Buffy said with her nose wrinkled up in disgust. “You promised me you wouldn’t do it in there anymore!”
Giles sputtered. “Anymore? You mean you knew about them?”
Buffy waved a hand. “Duh! I caught them in the training room two weeks ago.”
“Oh! And I caught them with the naughty touching at the Bronze,” Willow added. “Well everyone at the Bronze caught them with the naughty touching.”
“And you failed to tell me why?” Giles demanded to know.
“Maybe because we thought you’d react like, oh, I don’t know. This,” Xander said with a grin.
Giles closed the tome in from of him. “And how long exactly has this been going on?”
Spike lit a cigarette and blew the smoke away from Xander. “Well it’s Sunday night so… two months.” He smiled at Xander. “Best two bloody months right, pet?”
“Pet?” Giles whispered to himself. “Two months? Are you telling me this isn’t just a what you kids call a fling?”
“Oi, Ripper, in case you didn’t know I don’t do flings,” Spike sounded insulted.
Giles snorted. “I hadn’t realized you and Harmony had been more than that.”
“Oh…” Spike had forgotten about Harmony. “Well that was different. Xan-pet is special.”
Buffy and Willow ah-ed. “That’s so sweet!” Willow squealed.
“Spike may be a killer but he is the sweetest killer,” Xander said with a goofy grin.
“Oh right, I forgot that he is polite before killing people,” Giles said sarcastically. “Tell me, did you ask them for tea before draining their blood?”
Spike laughed. “Actually there was this one time…”
“Babe, what did we talk about?” Xander asked cutting him off.
“No stories about my past, after six o’clock or it’ll give you nightmares,” Spike recited. He was rewarded with a kiss.
“Oh dear Lord,” Giles muttered to himself. “I have to say I am disappointed and slightly hurt you didn’t feel like you could tell me about your relationship with Spike.”
Xander had the grace to look guilty. “I wanted to, Giles, but I didn’t want disappointed looks or your snide British comments.”
Giles wanted to deny that he would do that but of course he couldn’t. “You’re right. I apologize.”
“Apology accepted, Ripper,” Spike said with a smirk. He grabbed for the only sprinkled donut.
“Hey! What do you think you’re doing, Blondie?” Xander demanded to know.
Spike looked confused. “Having a donut. You got a problem with that?”
“If it means you’re eating the last sprinkled donut damn right I do!” Xander stated. “You know those are my favorites!”
“Well they're my favorite too you know!” Spike shot back. “You already had a donut so bugger off, you git.”
They began to wrestle over the donut, sprinkles falling on the table and floor.
Giles stood from the table, taking the bottle of scotch with him. “The world is safe,” Giles let out a sigh of relief.
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