Join me, my children, as I tell you a tale Of romance in the strange town of Sunnydale...
We start at a school called Sunnydale High With a Slayer, a witch, a librarian, and a guy.
The Slayer called Buffy was so full of cheer For her, demons were nothing to fear Every day after dark, she'd fight monsters from hell But she'd always have to battle academics, as well.
The witch, her name Willow, was quite the young girl With an adorable face and in her hair not a curl A powerful Wiccan, and far from a fool Willow was a genius with magicks and school.
Giles, the librarian, was older than the rest He hailed from England, just like the best As a boy, he worshipped Chaos, until he turned good And then became a Watcher, as proper boys should.
Xander Harris was considered the Zeppo of the group He came from a family who treated him like ...poop He'd always be joking, and when he got into trouble His friends would come running, right on the double.
One day, two evil vampires strolled into town Lining up victims, and knocking them down Spike and Drusilla were what they were called Buffy tried to fight them, but then she was mauled.
The Scoobies were frightened, the duo was lethal Until one day when Buffy's boyfriend, Angel, turned evil He tried to end the world, and Buffy was scared Until Spike came to her and admitted he cared.
He said that Angel was making his life a real hell Drusilla had feelings for him, this Spike could tell He wanted to help Buffy to win back his Dru "I can't fight them both alone, and neither can you!"
So together they fought, well as could be guessed And Buffy put a sword straight through Angel's chest And Spike took Drusilla far, far away And just like that, they saved the day.
Buffy ran away, all alone and upset She tried to have as normal a life as she could get But her plans were destroyed when demons made her mad So she returned to her friends, and they were all glad.
And for a while they continued saving the day Endlessly sending the bad guys away They worked to make Sunnydale safe as a pillow Until Spike came back and kidnapped Xander and Willow.
Spike explained how Dru had left him all alone And how he lost the greatest love he had ever known So he stayed in Sunnydale to kill that Slayer Because he had quite some revenge he had to pay her.
A while later, when Spike was out 'walking' (even though we all know he was really Buffy-Stalking) He was attacked by army-like guys And he was hit with tazars and paralyzed!
Spike safely escaped, but only to find Those nasty commandos put a chip in his mind! Now every time he'd cause people pain That buggering chip would fry his brain.
So Spike couldn't leave 'till his chip was removed And gradually, his relationship with the Scoobies improved He'd help them fight demons 'cause he loved a good fight And according to the chip, demon violence was alright
Spike hated the Scoobies - except there was one: Xander, who was always so special and fun To the witch and the Slayer, he was just like a brother But to the blonde vampire he was like no other.
Not too long later, Xander thought Spike a good friend And Spike didn't seduce him, fearing the friendship would end But little did he know, that behind that innocent face, Xander was experiencing a very similar case.
For a while they lived each with their own little crush And each time that they touched, both faces would blush But neither of them noticed the other one's love Until Xander heard Spike scream his name in the tub.
This is great!, Xander thought, so full of joy Spike really likes me, even though I'm a boy! Xander's face fell, How will my friends deal Once they find out how both of us feel?
Upset, Xander isolated himself from the rest of the Scoobies Ashamed he felt this way about someone without boobies He knew they wouldn't mind that a guy he could like - He just wasn't sure how they'd react if it was Spike.
So Xander didn't talk to anyone and Spike knew not why But he wanted to talk to Xander again, so he'd try and he'd try But Xander just shut him out with his emotional wall And for quite a while they didn't talk at all
Until one day when Xander came out - In front of his friends he stood up to shout Loud enough for the whole world to hear "I'm gay! A fag! A poof! A queer!"
Spike stared in shock, too scared to say "Alas, Xander, for I, too, am gay!" But apparently Xander could hear what he'd think Because when he stared at the boy, he was met with a wink
They spent every second of the entire day Bumping and grinding and kissing away And later that night, in Spike's arms Xander lay, Good God, it feels fucking good to be gay.
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