Pairing: Xander/Spike
Written for [info]2x5obsessions
Rating: R
Summary: A year has passed since the first ‘Demon Death Camp’ (DDC) has opened. And nothing is the same as it once was.

Sequel to Blowing in the Wind






A Bond with Darkness


by
Fan_Spagle



Introduction

A year has passed since the first ‘Demon Death Camp’ (DDC) has opened. Ten months ago, a group of slayers, led by the dark slayer Faith Lehane, have started taking the Council’s cleansing ideas to new heights. In Faith’s speech to her new legion of rogue Slayers she announced…

“Why stop at demons, there’s bad in all walks of life. Who are we to say that only demons must be cleansed. I say we cleanse the world, human and demon alike…let us deal the justice and leave the Judgment to the powers.”

A band of slayers have been ordered by the council to get rid of this problem as quickly as possible. Buffy Summer’s leads the effort to stop, ‘Faith’s Legion’

The American military have become the first that ‘Faith’s Legion’ has gone after, stating in an announcement four months ago that… “There should only be one army, Our army.”

Buffy being one of the top leaders in this fight, is meeting with ‘The New Initiate’ to go over her plans to stop Faith.

Buffy Summers and The Council still agree with the demon cleansing act and want ‘Faith’s Legions’ destroyed so they can get back to their work. Though the DDC’s mean nothing to Buffy or ‘The New Initiate, Xander Harris and his league of Non-Hostile Demons (NHD’s) fight behind council lines to stop all DDC’s and the Cleansing act.

This story starts off just as Buffy walks into her meeting with ‘The New Initiate’




~This is Buffy’s point of view as she meets with the new Initiate~



Part One



I walk into an old warehouse to see him standing up quickly from a steel bed. He buttons up his shirt, but not before I see the bandage on his chest. It causes a flash back to years before, but I quickly shake off the memory, thinking about the past is the last thing I want.

I’m unsure what to expect, I haven’t seen him in years, but he simply gives me a strained smiles and holds out his hand.

“How are you, Buffy?” he asks as he tightens his grip, still trying to flaunt his strength around me. It reminds me instantly why I never look back at my relationship with him fondly.

“Fine, Riley,” I say as he lets go of my hand, “how are you?”

He shrugs, “fine.” He looks around the dirty warehouse and then back to me with a bit of a sad smile. I can tell he hasn’t a clue what to say, and we’re thankfully interrupted by the entrance of more officers. He turns and nods to one of the other commanders.

“Agent Rose, meet Buffy Summers,” He said with a strong, commanding voice. The officer salutes Riley before chancing a small glance at me.

I nod as Riley takes a step towards Agent Rose and whispers something into his ear.

“Shall we?” He asks with a small glance my way. He doesn’t wait for an answer as he walks over to a large table in the middle of the room. He hands me a file and nods at it for me to read.

I look at the cover for a moment and can’t stop the sneer that covers my face, as I look at Faith’s smug picture, “bitch,” I mutter. I don’t open the folder, I know why I am here, and I’m well aware that I posses more information on Faith than anyone alive.

I look up to see Riley give me a raised eyebrow and I shrug at his silent question, he doesn’t know my past, he never did. “Don’t tell me you don’t call her worst things when you see her picture?” I ask.

Riley gives a half chuckle, “yeah, but to hear you curse, well...it’s unexpected.”

I look away fast, “isn’t everything these days.”

Riley steps closer to the table and a foot further away from me.

I can see a large group of officers walk in and stand near Riley. The group of slayers that had been awaiting my orders began to walk over when I wave them over.

“As we all know,” Riley calls out when every looks situated, “we’re losing this war and we need all the help we can get.”

I instantly see the growing sneers on many of the officer’s faces, but I ignore it. Hell, since Faith turned her back on the council, sneers and insults have become common occurrences amongst all us slayers

“I know that many of you don’t trust the council,” Riley calls out.

“Damn right,” an officer yells.

“But like I said, we need all the help we can get,” Riley says glaring at the officer that spoke out of turn.

“These slayers are here to help us and we need to work together to…”

“No way!” another officer shouts, “I’m not working with them!”

The entire room begins to shout out similar statements. The sound is deafening and echoes off the walls. .

“ENOUGH!” Riley yells as he slams his fist hard against the table, “everyday more of us are dying,” he says pointing to the front door of the warehouse, “We can’t fight this one alone!”

Agent Rose steps forward and gives me a deadly glare that I’m all too willing to return. “How can we trust that they aren’t like Faith’s Legion?” he demands.

Riley is about to answer when I hold up my hand and look around at all the officers. I’ve had enough of this horseshit, and I’ve never been one for anarchy, well… unless it’s me doing the rebelling.

“Listen!” I snap, “I can assure all of you we’re nothing like Faith’s Legion,” I say, spitting out Faith’s name like the poison it is. I turn and give my slayers an encouraging smile, “We’ve all been fighting this war against this so called Legion, just like you have,” I say as I turn back to the officers and narrow my eyes.

“We’ve lost many to this war,” I trail off and fight back my emotions, “we’ve lost many good fighters. We want to end this as much as you do.” I say and then walk a bit closer, “This war against Faith has affected everyone’s life and I’m here to stop it.” I say staring into as many officers’ eyes as I can so they can see my determination

“How?” one officer shouts, “How can you stop them? You’ve had all these months to stop them before. What makes you so confident?”

I nod my head, “that’s a good question, and the answer is simple,” I say as I point to the front door, “Come in, Guys!” I call out.

Three figures walk in and the whole room gasps, “We now have ‘The Power Trio’ to help out.”

The shouts from the officers range from roars of protest, to confused “Who’s the “The Power’s Trio’?”

Angel, Spike and Illyria walk over and stand behind me. and I hear Spike give the officers all a low growl. To say that I was shocked that he had agreed to come to a meeting with the same people who tested on him five years ago, would be an understatement.

“Shut the bloody hell up, you wankers!” he roared. Okay, so maybe I should have only asked Angel to join me at the meeting.

Everyone seemed a bit taken back, and unsure how to react as his demon was proudly displayed for all of them to see. They seem to all be a second away from reaching for their taser guns. I look at Riley for some help, but know instantly he wasn’t going to help at all.

His face was distorted with pure distaste, even after all these years, Riley’s still jealous of Spike.

Jesus, right now isn’t the time for this. I walk over and hiss in his ear, “You just said to win this, we all have to work together.”

Riley narrows his eyes at me, “Why is he here?”

I turn and stand next to my team, “Because I came to win!” I say to not only him but the rest of the room, “I came to stop this war and to do that, we need the best…. And that’s these three here.”

“To hell they are,” I hear Riley mutter, but I only roll my eyes.

Truthfully I couldn’t care less what he, or anyone thinks…all that mattered to me is…HER





Part Two



~At the same time half way across the world, Harris and his League of NHD’s have just barely made it out of one of the DDC’s alive freeing more NHD’s along the way, but the raid hadn’t come without its consequences. This is Xander’s point of view right after the raid.~

I lean my hip against the table for support, as I place my dirty sword on the clean white table top. My hands shake as I get my sliver lighter and pack of smokes out of my leather jacket. I know I shouldn’t smoke but hell, these days healthy lifestyle choices were the last thing on anyone’s mind—and I need something to calm my nerves, dammit!

“See, I’m fine, everything is fine,” I muttered to myself as I place the smoke between my lips and flick my lighter open. My hands are shaking more vigorously and I tilt my head quickly to light the tip.

When the flame highlighted my hands, I still instantly---FUCK!-- the blood is on my hands!

The lit cigarette fell from my lips burning my hand on its way to the floor.

“Fuck, fuck, double fuck,” I hiss as I stomp out the smoke and rub my hands against my shirt in a small attempt to get the blood off. I run to the bathroom and quickly wash my hands, not once daring to look in the mirror, “it’s fine, I can handle this,” I said out loud as the sink began to change from white to pinky red.

After I’m done I quickly turned and leaned against the sink. I can’t look in the mirror… not now…maybe never.

I take a deep breath and realize a moment later, Bad move Harris! I leap to the toilet and with an arched back throw up everything I ate in the last few days.

Once the overpowering nausea is gone I lean my forehead against my arm that’s on top of the toilet seat.

“Feeling better, Hon?”

I don’t say anything as Dennis walks over to the bathtub and sit of the edge. He places a hand on my back and rubs in soothing circular movements.

Dennis is the first friend I made when I came to Africa. He looks remarkably human, one of the biggest advantages to demons, with all the sweeps the council do of these areas.

Dennis comes from an incredible species of demon. His people’s only food source is to soak up the happy energy of those around them. He had explained to me, that when some one laughs, they released an energy that warms the surrounding area with flashes of sparks, unseen to anyone but his people. Dennis then inhales these ‘sparks’ and lives off of them.

Dennis’s pale skin and dark bags under his eyes were becoming clearer and clearer to me. Real happiness was becoming a rare treat for Dennis, like bread and milk was for me.

Being so attuned to emotions, Dennis is one of the most feeling and emphatic people I’ve ever met. In fact, I’ve never met a nicer guy in my life, I love Dennis much the way I loved Willow--- once upon a time.

I lean into the comforting touches and wish I could be happy for one moment for my starving friend. I look at his thin body and sighed. I really needed to find a part of town where people still smiled and let Dennis just sit and enjoy it—hell, they all needed to do something like that.

“Xander,” Dennis scolded, “If you’re thinking about my little problem right now, stop, you have too much to worry about as it is.”

I gave him a half smile, “You sure you're not a mind reader?”

“No, I’m empathic, darling, not a psychic ..Anyways, you’re changing the subject with question you already know. Talk to me, Xan.”

I lean back against my arm, “I feel like shit.” I state simply.

Dennis began to rub his hand up and down my spine, he knows how much I love it “It wasn’t your fault, hon.”

I snort and turn my head to look into his shining green eyes. Eyes I know love me more than I’ve ever been loved, eyes that if I weren’t still lost to my sea of blue, I’d love back just as much.

“Really,” I whisper, “Because that sword in the next room covered in blood says it is.”

Dennis’s hand stills, “and Bradley, Jennifer, and Smith’s deaths says it’s not!” Dennis states with a hint of anger.

I sit up, “Dennis, I fucking killed a slayer tonight!”

“Yeah,” Dennis states simply, “and she would have killed us all if she had the chance.”

I grind my teeth together, “Dennis, I killed her!”

Green eyes narrow, “you kill all the time.”

“Yeah, demons,” I say and immediately know I’ve massively fucked up.

“Shit, wait… I didn’t..”

Dennis gets up and puts a hand in the air, “No don’t,” he hisses, “I get you perfectly, And here I thought you had left those fucking bigotted ideals at the door, but I must’ve been mistaken…Still thinking us demons are lower then you humans, eh, Xander Harris?”

I stand up and clench my fist, “you know, I don’t think that, Dennis!”

Dennis shakes his head in disappointment, “Sure, Xan, and here I thought you were in the bathroom grieving over our friends deaths and what do I find out? You’re fucking mourning the one that KILLED THEM!”

I reel back as if I have been slapped, “Dennis…”

“SAVE IT!” Dennis snaps as he walks over to the door and slams it hard on his way out.

I take the silver lighter out of my pocket and rub my thumb against the cool medal, “Gods, I wish you were here, Spike.”

I can feel it then, and maybe I’m going crazy, but I feel him standing right there. It’s like a comfort that one else can give me. No matter how much Dennis tries. No one can replace, Spike—gods, Spike tell me what to do!

And then I hear it, softly in the wind.

~What’s in your heart, pet?~

‘You.’

A warm, soft chuckle,

~Other than that, Whelp?~

‘I-I—don’t know, Spike’

~The world has changed, luv, you aren’t the boy you once were~

‘Yeah, now I can join the exciting group of those who’ve killed slayers, hell I’m expecting my toaster in the mail any day now. Another slayer and I’ll get the flat screen TV.”

~Oi, I didn’t get a TV~

A loving chuckle,

‘Oh, god, Spike I miss you.’

~Love you, Xan, always will. And when I said you aren’t the same young whelp anymore, what I mean, my love, is that you have become something so much more—you, Xander Harris are a hero~


I leaned against the sink and felt tears began to fall from my eyes,

‘no, Spike, I’m a killer.’

~Xanpet, you’re at war, and you’ve seen the truth. Humans and demons are equal and with all beings you have the good and the bad. Dennis, all the NHD’s, Hell, even the poofter. They’re good guys…stop thinking with the brain Giles gave you, and start thinking with your own.~


I look into the mirror and for the first time that evening, I see my face staring back at me, I don’t look like a man that has done evil, I look like someone who has come back from war, ‘what is my heart saying, Spike?’

~That you did what had to be done, in the act of war, killing is something that has to be done, pet, but you saved hundreds tonight by doing so.~


My eyes speak of maturity someone my age should never have, twenty four years old and I’ve had seen things no old man could ever dream of, even in his worse nightmares.

~All heroes have to bare the cross of their actions, Just like you are now. Not everyone can do this, Xan, that’s why there are so few of them~

‘You would know, Spike, you’re the most heroic person I’ve ever met.’

~No, luv, you are. Now go after him, make this better. But remember, pet, you’re mine~

‘I’ll always be yours, Spike’


I ran out of the bathroom and grab Dennis’s arm just as he is about to leave the warehouse, “Stop, listen to me,” I beg.

Dennis turns and looks at me with angry green eyes that burn into mine, pleading for a reason to forgive me—to trust that I feel different than he thinks I do.

His eyes speak with more feeling then any human I use to know. As I move closer and touch his soft, pale cheek. I know I’d kill a hundred Slayers for him—for Spike—And the last tiny part of me that still listens to Giles’s voice. Still hears the long conversations about the higher stasis of humans verse Demons disappears, I know my own heart now.

“Your life means more to me than any human out there Dennis,” I whisper and gods, do I want to love him more. I want to get over Spike and love Dennis but something always stops me—like this hope, that one day—one day Spike will come back to me.

Dennis snuggles close and I wrap my arms around him, “ I love you, Xander,” he whispers into my hair, and I know he's forgiven me.

And I’ve forgiven myself—this is who I am now—even though I’m still human, I’m now a demon in my heart.

I’ve bonded with my ‘so called’ darkness.





The End






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