Disclaimer: It may come as a surprise but I'm not Joss Whedon or Mutant Enemy and therefore I do not own Spike or any of his many shagging and verbal sparring partners. I weep for the injustice of it all and play with these characters in the fiction I write because this is pretty much all the fun I have.

Beta'd by [info]kitty_poker1



Part One

Xander had been out of the closet for well over a year now. He'd told Willow and Buffy and Giles and didn't tell his parents, for obvious reasons.

It was just as well he'd moved out. His dad was getting too focused on finding him a 'nice little girl' to 'settle down with' and give him some grandkids.

He was living with Spike.

Yep, chip-dip. The chipped wonder. The impotent one. He who drank cow blood. Formerly human blood drinker and human killer.

Also, Xander found himself fighting off an attraction to the bleached blunder. When Spike opened his mouth it became easier, for Spike was a sarcastic assmunch.

Yet, sometimes, even the snarky comments and insults didn't help.

Spike had become a steady semi-good guy to call on when they needed a demon pounded into the dirt, or grass, or asphalt...whatever the case might've been. Since his chip implantation, when he'd been forced to come to them for help, he'd eventually accepted the inevitable and stopped his evil ways.

Well, mostly. He still rooted for the bad guys in all the movies he watched with Xander, still stood back and let the Scoobies get pounded a bit before stepping in.

But he was reformed...

Oh, he was still an asshole and didn't pick up his wet towels or do the dishes but he, at least, washed out his bloody mugs. That, though, was probably for his benefit alone. Rancid blood didn't smell very good and the vampire had a sensitive nose.

They'd been roommates for four months now, since Spike's crypt had flooded and become uninhabitable. The flooding wouldn't have been that bad, it would've dried out and he could've moved back in, but the City made plans to tear it down since it was an eyesore and falling apart.

So, his temporary stay had become pretty much permanent. Neither Xander nor Spike said anything about that -- it just was.

It wasn't an inconvenience anymore. Xander even enjoyed his company because the girls were doing their college thing and weren't around much. He found himself drinking and watching movies and playing drunken board games and poker with Spike more often than not. They, surprisingly, had a lot in common.

His social life was going right down the tubes.

Not that he'd had much of one to begin with and his trek into gaydom had ended before it had begun.

He'd yet to go on a date with a guy, but not for lack of trying when he did go out.

Spike just always happened along when he was getting a good conversation going...or, really, babbling like he did best.

He knew he was cute and sweet, endearing, when he babbled. It was one of his finest weapons against, well, the same sex now, just as it had with the opposite sex when he was still batting for the heterosexual team.

He'd get a smile, a short conversation, an innuendo, a drink offer, half of a phone number and then Spike would mysteriously come along, throw his arm over Xander's shoulder and hug him like they were long lost buddies, thus ensuring his potential date's quick departure.

He'd stay pissed at Spike as long as it took the vampire to get him another beer and one of those onion things, or maybe some chicken wings they could share, and give him a quick smile that wasn't anything like his old, smarmy, smartass smirks that barely hid his disdain.

And now they were friends and stayed in most nights when they weren't patrolling and saving the world.


"What is this crap?"

Xander waited until a commercial break to remove his attention from the screen. He blinked and said slowly, as if to a child, "It's not crap, Spike. It's a movie. You know, those things with moving pictures that come with sound and colour now? You watch them for entertainment."

The vampire rolled his eyes. "Who's the pouf with the bad hair? You're staring awful hard. Gonna catch an eye strain." Spike plopped down on the couch beside him and stole some of the popcorn he'd been eating.

Xander glared at him and hugged the bowl to his chest out of spite. "If you're going to insult my taste in movies then you can go away."

Spike munched the mouthful of popcorn and put his hands up. "Didn't mean nothin' by it...just wondering why you're all..." He waved one of his hands and lowered the other to his thigh as he shifted down comfortably, "...well, I haven't seen you this interested in something since you saw one of them Star Wars prequel sequel whatthebloodyhellever they were."

Xander stared. "The main character is played by an actor I follow, okay? He's a good actor and I enjoy his work. A lot. Now, shut the hell up, dippy, because it's back on."



"Fine, wanker," Spike grumbled, turning his attention to the tv. He watched for a moment, then frowned. "You like this git? He's...a pretty boy. Over the top. It doesn't seem real. Could cut glass with those razor blades he's got for cheek bones." He scoffed and pointed. "This movie's not even accurate. There are better stones to use for fake diamonds. Those greenbacks don't even look remotely like real money. Why's he wearing vintage clothes when I just saw a modern car drive by? That house? Is decorated in late seventies, early eighties style and I know damned well this heist took place in '72. Give me the remote, I'm switching to something better. I can't tolerate something that's such shite. If you're going to do a film based on something real, bloody make it accurate."

"Says he who watches Passions," Xander retorted, pushing the remote under his ass for safe keeping. "And like hell. I've been anticipating this movie for months, Spike, and you're not going to spoil it for me. Go. Away. I don't want to deal with your shit right now when I'm supposed to be enjoying myself. It's bad enough you chase all my dates away and I'm not getting any because of your stupid vampire ass. You're not going to fuck up the one good thing I've got going on for me right now."

Spike's scarred eyebrow crawled up his forehead. "Bloke doesn't even have any hair."

Xander's eyes grew dreamy and just for a second he forgot who he was speaking to as he relaxed into the back of the couch and watched the actor he was smitten with. He sighed and practically clasped his hands over his heart and swooned. "Oh, he's got hair, Spike. Nice hair. It looks good on him. Always did enjoy a good buzz-cut. Guess that's why I always went in for military guys, you know? I've seen some of the soldier guys at the college when I visited Willow and...yeah, they just do it for me."

Spike frowned. "You like bald guys?"

Xander broke out of his stupor and glared at Spike again. "No, you ass, it's not complete baldness! He's got at least an eighth of an inch of hair. He's got a nicely shaped head too. That helps. It's just the whole package that's nice."

"The birds know you're insane or is that your cute little secret?"

Xander threw popcorn at him. "You better be glad I'm taping this or your ass would be mulch, pal."


"Who is this bloke, anyway?"

Xander turned his head but his eyes remained glued to the tv. "Huh?"

Spike snorted and hit Xander as hard as he was able.

Xander rubbed his bicep absently. "What?"

"Who the ruddy hell is this twat you're so interested in? Sweet Christ, you're drooling!"

A commercial came on and Xander sighed. He stretched and cracked his back, then turned to face Spike, who wasn't looking too happy. Xander wasn't too happy either; he kept getting interrupted and the premiere of the movie was slowly getting ruined. "Why the hell do you keep interrupting? I'm trying to watch this damn movie!"

Spike growled. "The actor, you git, who is he?"

"Oh, him," Xander practically purred, practically orgasmed the words. "James Marsters. He's not too big yet but he's getting there. He's got talent oozing out of his perfectly shaped ass."

Spike made a face. "Oh, I really didn't need to hear that. You're bloody delusional! I've seen better ass when I--well, if I could look in the mirror I'd see a better ass." He added, disdainfully, "James Marsters sounds like a ponce."

"I'm delusional? I don't think so, buddy. He's hot, he's in, he's talented...it's just a matter of time before he's a big fucking star! You're just jealous, anyway. Now, shut the hell up. It's nearly over. Can't you wait fifteen minutes to bug the crap out of me?"

Spike pouted, crossed his arms and sulked for all of two seconds before he began again: "So, this bloke's...shaved head gets your motor revving?"

"Oh, boy howdy, yeah. Not just the hair thing but the whole package. He's just...got it all."

The movie came back on and Xander returned his attention to it.

Spike sat staring gloomily at Xander but the boy didn't notice.


It was nearly two weeks later that Xander was in his kitchen making popcorn, preparing to watch Cool Money for the tenth time, that Spike slammed into the apartment, mumbling to himself.

He didn't look at the irate vampire, or acknowledge him, because Spike was apparently in one of those moods and it didn't pay to get in his way when he was acting like this.

He poured M&Ms in the steaming bowl, grabbed a soda and then turned around.

And stopped.

And stared.

Spike was behind him, shoulders hunched forward, head down, eyes meeting Xander's warily from beneath insanely long lashes.

But that wasn't the remarkable part. Spike being quiet and non-hyperactive and un-assholey wasn't either.

Spike's hair. It was shaved. Spike had shaved his head -- or had someone do it for him, but the semantics weren't really something Xander wanted to get into right now.

He nearly dropped his snacks, along with his jaw.

After several moments of uncomfortable silence, Spike cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck.

Xander's eyes followed the movement and then the line of Spike's well-shaped head. The remaining hair was dark and looked soft and Xander felt his fingers twitch with the desire to touch.

He took a deep breath. "Umm...your hair...your lack of hair..."

Spike bobbed his head slightly, looking sheepish, almost embarrassed.

It was the strangest emotion Xander had ever seen on the vampire.

"Yeah...sort of a...random decision of stupidity, I suppose. Looks like utter crap, doesn't it? Knew I shouldn't have got drunk and went to that demon barber on Meridian. It'll take months for it to grow back in, though, which is a real bitch."

Xander swallowed hard and put his snacks on the nearby kitchen table before he dropped them. He stepped marginally closer, wiping sweaty palms on his pants. "Umm...no. Doesn't look bad. It's, um, a surprisingly good look for you. Must suck not to have a reflection. Ever thought of a digital camera or a regular camera or something?"

Spike rubbed his scalp, black-tipped nails lingering on the soft pelt. "Used them a time or two, yeah. Always end up losing the film or breaking the camera, though. Don't keep up with 'em, really."

"Cool Money's on again. You, uh, wanna watch with me?" Xander found himself asking.

Spike smiled, slow and calm. "Yeah, all right."


"Gratuitous crotch shot."

"Huh?" Xander looked at him again. He'd spent the duration of the movie scattering his attention between it and the newly shorn vampire and was having a hell of a time coping with two such pretty distractions.

He was torn between his obsession with James Marsters' pretty ass and Spike's newly shaven look.

It was odd, but Xander could see some sort of resemblance between the two and that really didn't help his situation any.

Spike gestured at the tv. "He was sitting on that bed, he stood up, the camera didn't pan anywhere. Stayed right on his dick. Looks like he's packing a bit...pants were quite flattering. Pretty boy might not be so bad after all."

Xander gulped and put the popcorn on the coffee table. "Umm, yeah, noticed. Nice camera man. Should be given a bonus or an award for that or something."

Spike shifted and rolled his head on the couch.

Xander watched him, bit back a whimper.


The movie ended, Xander sighed and leaned back after having stuffed himself with melted butter-flavoured, slightly salty M&Ms and chocolatey popcorn. He rubbed his belly gently and got up with a grunt.

The vampire stared at him and he fidgeted.

"Uh...gotta pee."

He fled.

Being around Spike was different now, somehow. He couldn't put his finger on it.

He peed, washed his hands, looked at himself sternly in the mirror and mentally gave himself a pep-talk.

He would not be distracted by the pretty vampire. No more than he usually was, anyway. The shaving thing had put Spike over the top and it was really hard to ignore now. Spike was even acting different, not such of a bastard, and it was throwing off the 'hating-Spike-even-though-he-wanted-his-ass' thing he'd worked out.

With a heavy sigh, he looked away from his distraught reflection -- it held no answers anyway -- and exited the relative safety of the bathroom.

Spike was still on the couch, his eyes shut, and he looked like he was asleep.

Xander knew better. Spike didn't sleep at night.

He sooo wasn't fooling anyone.

Xander cleaned up his mess, removed the video tape from the vcr, switched both the vcr and tv off and then got a glass of water.

He frowned as he noticed Spike's still unmoving figure on the couch.

"Spike?" he whispered around his water glass as he drank.

No answer. No movement.

Xander padded into the living room and looked down at Spike. The formerly blond vampire lay slack-faced and relaxed curled up on Xander's couch, looking far more innocent than he could ever be.

Maybe he was sleeping...

He leaned forward and searched Spike's face and then nearly screamed like a little girl when blue eyes popped open and a full bottom lip curved upward into a smile.

His water glass went flying and spilled all over the carpet. He clutched his chest, feeling his rabbiting heart pounding away like it was trying to escape the cage of his ribs.

"Jesus, Spike!"

Spike stretched and arched his neck and Xander's mouth went dry. "What's up, pet?"

Xander's eyes widened and he stumbled back. He clasped his hands in front of his crotch. "Nothing! Nothing could be more down, in fact. What are you doing, anyway? You looked..." Don't say beautiful. Don't say hot. Don't say fuckable. Don't say it! "...dead."

He didn't say it!

Spike rolled his eyes. "Was just resting my peepers, wasn't I?" He sat up and then stood. "Suppose I'll go out now. Get some more reactions," he said, pointing to his head. "You have a fetish for shorn blokes, can't really trust what you say."

Xander's arousal went down a notch, he frowned, got insulted. "Hey! I have good taste! I can tell when someone looks good and when they don't, Spike."

"Right. Says the boy with the hot pink t-shirt with lime green polka-dots...one of many such poor choices in his wardrobe. You really should learn how to dress better. Being gay, I'd've thought that was a prerequisite or something." Spike's lip curled. He put on his duster. "Well, see you later. Probably much. Might get lucky tonight. God knows I need it."

He left in an inky swirl of leather and vanilla skin and Xander's mouth fell open.

"That's not fair, you pretty, bald bastard. You won't let me get laid so why the hell should I let you?" Xander grabbed his keys and slammed out the door after the vampire. "There's no way in hell you're going to go get some when I'm not."

Part Two

Xander followed Spike as best he could, considering the vampire used his vampirey abilities to their fullest and was mostly a blur to Xander's puny human eyes.

Xander ended up outside a club he hadn't known existed, out of breath and wondering if this was such a good idea after all. During the near sprint the whole way there he'd had a little time to think through what he was contemplating doing.

He gasped for breath, saw tiny green and white and yellow dots in front of his eyes and wondered if he was going to pass out.

He leaned against a light post wearily.

What did he think he was going to do, anyway? Go inside and pry Spike off some bimbo just because he didn't think Spike needed some ass?

Spike had done it often enough to him...payback would be nice...but...

Xander sighed, blinked, then trudged home with slumped shoulders and low spirits.

He didn't have it in him to be that vindictive...even though Spike really deserved a good kick in the backside.

He flopped down on his couch and eventually fell asleep.

He didn't know when Spike got back; it was probably late, but he wasn't aware of it or anything else.

He woke up a little disoriented with a blanket draped over him and his shoes were missing and he had a pillow under his head. This was not the way he'd gone to sleep.

He frowned, stared around blearily until he found the vcr clock and when his eyes focused he noted that it was just after five in the morning. He'd gotten a couple hours of sleep on his trusty old sofa.

He stared at the blanket and his shoes placed neatly on the floor beside the couch and then shrugged and went to bed.

If Spike wanted to be weird, he could be, so long as it didn't cost Xander anything.


He over-slept because of his night on the lumpy couch of doom and lack of sleep. Had a long, seemingly endless day of work where there were mistakes in measuring and the wrong lumber supplies were dropped off and some high beams were delivered way too early and they had to have them taken back because they didn't have the space for them to be lying around and all of that cost the company money. Ended up running into one of his elderly neighbors downstairs as he was entering the building and was persuaded to go grocery shopping with her and spent the next three hours exhausted, still work-dirty, and pushing around a grocery cart while Mrs. Adams read every ingredient on each item she picked up -- she was diabetic and could have very little sugar and no starch at all.

Xander was in hell.

Though, he made a point to be nice to the woman since her kids had moved away and left her in Sunnydale alone with her no-good asshole of a nephew because he felt sorry for her and really kind of liked her. She also thanked him by making him cookies.

By the time he finally got Mrs. Adams' stuff squared away and was taking home a tin of homemade double chocolate chip cookies, he felt like he'd been put through a wringer. He was so tired he could hardly keep his eyes open and the journey up the stairs to his apartment was like climbing Everest instead of three flights.

He was regretting his decision not to look for a place with an elevator just because this building was cheaper and rent controlled.

He stumbled in the door, set the cookies on the counter and headed straight for the shower.

He nearly fell asleep in there since it was warm and relaxing, which wouldn't have been good, but eventually made it out undrowned and unscathed but for a burn on the side of his body from when he'd turned the cold water down too far, too fast.

He didn't see Spike. The vampire was probably still asleep, and he didn't really care at this point. His day had been chock full of fun without Spike adding his snarking comments to the equation.

He scarfed down a quickly nuked burrito, singeing his taste buds and numbing his tongue, drank a glass of orange juice, ate a couple of m'm m'm good cookies and then plopped down in front of the tv, where he proceeded to fall asleep again on his really uncomfortable couch.

He had to remember to try to go shopping for a new one. Maybe one with a pull-out bed since he seemed to sleep here a lot.


He was dreaming something nice, something good and shiny and peaceful.

He could also feel someone's eyes boring into his flesh even in his unconscious state and woke up disgruntled, then jumped when he saw bristle-headed Spike staring at him from the other side of the couch.

He wiped the drool off his face and sat up with a grimace.

The tv wasn't on.

"How long have you been sitting there staring at me? Must've been bored out of your brillo-pad of a skull."

Spike snorted, sipped his blood, and shrugged. "Wasn't anything on telly. Just woke up, anyway. What're you doing out here again? Would think you'd've learned before now that you do have a decent bed in there that's bound to be more comfortable than this...thing."

Xander rubbed his aching neck and made a face. "Yeah, well, my body tends to fall asleep wherever it wants. I was tired, I sacked out here...why the hell is it any of your business, anyway? It's my couch. If I want to inflict pain on myself, it's my choice."

Spike licked his reddened lips thoughtfully. "Just making an observation. Tucked you in once already, don't really care to do it again..."

Xander edged to the end of the sofa uncomfortably. "You, uh, got that blanket and took off my shoes?"

"Yeah, saw you there all bent up and squashed and shoved a pillow under your head, put a blanket over you and pulled off your shoes. Thought you'd get more rest that way. Consider it a favour."

"A favour? I didn't ask you to do that, Spike. If I wanted to get all stiff and achy and cold that's my business, not yours. When'd you get in, anyway?"

"Oh...'round the time the sun was about to rise. Got a bit singed but no worse for wear. Well, if you're finished being ungrateful, I'm going to take a shower."

Xander frowned after him.

Spike was lying. Xander knew for a fact Spike had been back long before he said he was. He'd woken up at five, the sun had been nowhere near rising at that point, and had been tucked in for a while...



"How's the collegey thing going?" Xander asked falling into step beside Willow.

Willow smiled up at him, short red hair highlighted by the sun, green eyes sparkling. "Oh, it's so great! I'm learning a lot and having so much fun and meeting new people and Oz's band's getting more paying gigs and I've moved from being just the girlfriend of one of the guitar players to groupie-slash-I'm-with-the-band-and-get-to-go-backstage-whenever-I-want. It's so nifty. It's like I'm...not so geeky anymore. It really is a whole different world outside of high school."

Xander blinked. "That's cool. Hey, you wouldn't happen to have seen Spike lately, would you?"

Get right to the chase, that was the ticket. Make Willow wonder if he was insane or on crack or possibly spelled. Or all of the above.

Willow peered up at him behind bright red fringe, eyes curious. "Umm...nope. Haven't really been doing much patrolling. Buffy's taking care of that, I think. Oh!" she exclaimed. "I'm lying, I did see him. Just for a minute the other night, that's why I forgot. Dingoes Ate My Baby was playing at The Bronze and I was there cheering Oz on and shaking my groove thing and..." She blinked. "Oh, my God, his hair was gone! I don't know how I could forget that. I nearly dropped my soda when I saw him. He was just...there, ordering a drink at the bar and I thought the duster looked familiar but without the hair I didn't know it was him till he turned around and...wow."

"Yeeeeah, apparently going to the hair cutting place when you're drunk's a big no-no."

Willow smiled at him and tucked some of her hair behind one ear. She bounced on her toes as they stopped in front of her dorm. "Why'd you want to know, anyway? You live with him, right? You must see him all the time."

Xander smiled shakily. "Umm, yeah, all the time. Just wanted to know if you'd heard anything about why he'd get drunk and drastically change his look like that. Just curious, you know. Weird vampire, that Spike."

Willow's eyes narrowed. "Xander, if there was something wrong you'd tell me, right?"

He swallowed. "Yeah! Of course, I would. We're still bestest pals, aren't we?"

She grinned. "Uh huh. Call me sometime and we'll go to the movies or Bronzing or something, 'k? Don't want to lose touch like all those cliches say, do we?"

Xander relaxed and smiled warmly before giving her a hug. "Becoming a cliche would be of the big suck."


The more Xander thought about it -- about Spike and his new 'do -- the more he, well, couldn't stop thinking about Spike and his new 'do.

The vampire walked around shirtless and barefoot, swinging his hips like...well, Xander didn't know exactly what but it was distracting.

Add the hair thing and the near naked thing and the walking like a prostitute thing together and...

Xander was a walking hard-on with no getting his end away in sight.

He jerked off in the shower, tried to ignore the knowing smirk on Spike's face after he got out, and went about his business.

His boring, boring business.

Life sucked, he wasn't getting any and he was very nearly desperate enough to take a mercy suck from the guy in 4-B who'd cornered him in the laundry room one day and practically assaulted him when he was trying to fold his socks. He'd taken to going late at night when he knew Marshall would be at work -- he worked the graveyard shift at the all-night theatre in the next town over -- so he wouldn't have to risk being molested again.

Molestation was looking better by the second, though. His poor cock was being rubbed raw from the beatings it took in the shower, in his bed and, when Spike wasn't there, the kitchen and even Spike's bedroom when he was feeling especially dirty and wasn't able to stop himself.

Spike hadn't said anything but he got this look in his eyes when he went to the door of his bedroom and took an obvious sniff. It was lecherous, simmering, nearly tangible.

That was it, he had to get out, get his mind off the delectableness that was Spike and find someone who'd be in for a quick hand-job or something.

The being constantly hard thing? Wasn't as much fun as it had been back in high school when he'd thought masturbation was the coolest thing ever and couldn't seem to keep his hands out of his pants.


He and Willow met at The Bronze one night; Buffy was off with Riley and his commando buddies and had been MIA for a while now. Those people were right about drifting apart after high school, whoever those people were.

She stayed as long as Oz's band had a gig, then patted him on the forearm, kissed his cheek and left to find Oz.

He stared down into his Coke forlornly.

When had his life come down to this? He had no friends because they were drifting apart, a job he actually liked but didn't have anyone to spend the money on, a vampire roommate who was this close to getting raped if he kept showing off his ass like he was, and he had yet to be introduced to the fun, sticky parts of being gay.

Someone bumped his arm and his Coke was spilled into his lap, interrupting his self-deprecating, poor-Xander thoughts.

He leapt up, groin cold and wet and in shock. "Hey!"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I got jostled and...let me help you and I'll buy you a new drink."

Xander looked up and into the violet-gray eyes of a very handsome brunet. He smiled and reseated himself, suddenly uncaring of his wet trouser front. "Well...I wouldn't say no to that drink..."

The man's eyes crinkled at the edges as he smiled.


He was pleasantly buzzed and warm and mellow inside when his new pal Daniel led him outside for some lovin'.

Daniel couldn't keep his hands off Xander and Xander groaned as he was backed up against a nearby wall and his damp pants were pulled down and his dick taken into a hot mouth that immediately began to suck.

"Oh, fuck," he sighed, eyes closing tight as he ran his hand through Daniel's too-long hair.

Daniel hummed happily around his cock and Xander gasped, bucking forward.

Daniel suddenly disappeared from his cock and Xander's eyes shot open as he howled his dismay. His eyes focused on who'd taken Daniel away and he growled as he stuffed his throbbing cock back inside his jeans with a pained grimace.

"What the fuck, Spike?"

Spike shoved Daniel away and waved his fingers at him. "Get lost."


He sighed. "I'm so sorry, Daniel. I guess you should go..."

Daniel huffed as he dusted himself off and straightened his clothes. "If you were trying to use me to make your boyfriend jealous...well, I'd rather have finished what I was doing first...but, whatever, man. Being used sucks, you know. Especially when you don't get anything in return."

Xander's mouth fell open as he watched the other man leave the alley, then he refocused his attention, anger rekindling, on Spike. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Spike dug in his duster and pulled out his lighter and cigarettes. He lit one and smoked narrow-eyed for a while, peering through the wispy curls of smoke. He shrugged, flicking his lighter open and closed repeatedly in annoying kind of way that made Xander want to hit him. "Thought maybe he was attacking you or something. Couldn't let you get eaten by some big bad, could I?"

"I'll have you know I was having fun being eaten, pal."

Xander shoved Spike away and hobbled home.

He ignored the vampire following him and debated throwing the deadbolt but decided Spike would probably break down the door and destroy his property as well as the rest of his evening.

He headed straight for the shower, unable to even look at Spike, and jerked off frantically. He came with an unsatisfied grunt, watching the pearly fluid swirl down the drain.


It took several days but Xander finally got to the point where he could look at Spike and not want to shove a red hot poker up his ass for what he did at The Bronze.

They needed to have a little chat, and soon, because Spike was completely destroying Xander's sex life: the possibility of him ever having one.

"Going out," Spike announced, exiting his bedroom and shouldering on his duster.

Xander blocked his way to the front door and crossed his arms. "I don't think so, dickhead, we have some talking to do. Like, oh, about the other night. It was so damn obvious what Daniel was doing. You know that and I know that. I want to know why you've gone out of your way recently to sabotage every possibility I've had of having sex! I want to know right now, dammit! If you keep doing this I'm going to fucking die of frustration. My balls have never been so blue!"

Spike's demeanor changed. He shrank a little, shoulders falling, eyes blinking nervously, fingers twitching. "Er, I told you. Thought you were being attacked. It was dark..."

Oh, what a feeble excuse.

"Spike, you're a goddamn vampire. You can see in the dark. Go sit down, stay a while, this is going to take some time, I think. I also need a beer."

He waited to make sure Spike did as he demanded then got himself a beer and sat on the couch with him. "Okay, now spill it. Why've you decided to make my life a living hell for the last few months? Looks like you'd want me to get lucky so you can go do whatever it is you do without me cramping your style."

Spike didn't look at him, picked the polish from his fingernail silently for a while. He looked up with a sigh. "It's nothing, really. It won't happen again, I swear."

Xander snorted. "Like I believe that."

Spike growled, contrition falling away. "Oh, fuck off! I don't have to tell you my reasons for anything I do. Sometimes I don't even know why I do the things I do. Just felt like it, all right?"

Xander stared at him until Spike began to fidget.

"What?!" Spike nearly yelled, eyes wide in his face.

Xander quirked an eyebrow. "You're the one acting all...schizo, freak-boy. You want to tell me what's going on or...umm...well, I've got nothing but tell me, already, so we can put whatever it is behind us. This crap's getting old."

Spike rubbed a hand over his prickly scalp and Xander swallowed, suddenly aroused for no good reason.

Actually, it was a really good reason. He just didn't want to be aroused right now because he was pissed at Spike and wanted to yell at him some more.

"You really like my hair?" Spike asked, changing the subject rather abruptly. His baby blues glittered.

Xander blinked. "Umm...yeah. It's okay. Why? What's that got to do with anything?"

Spike finally looked at him, then came to a decision. He deflated. "Nothing. Nothing at all. Just...never had my hair this way before. Don't know how I look, is all."

Xander frowned. "You have a nicely shaped head, no lumpies or bald patches or flat places or anything. Not many guys can pull the look off."

Spike perked up, smiled a little. "Really?"

"Uh, yeah..."

The vampire stood up. "Well, all right, then. Now that that's all over with...going to head out, yeah? Be back before sun-up."

Spike left before Xander could put two words together and he was left even more confused than he'd been before the conversation happened.

Spike had talked his way out of having to answer Xander, had distracted him like a pro.

That manipulative, pretty bastard.

He wouldn't see Spike again for three nights. Seemed the vampire was avoiding him.

Part Three

Three nights later Xander was invited to a lesser known club across town -- The Fish Tale, a place Oz frequented and played at with his band mates -- and Spike just happened to be there.

Spike froze when he saw Xander, nearly dropped his drink and then appeared flustered and at a loss for what to do or say.

Xander became amused. Spike was oddly...endearing, cute even, like this.

He groaned. He didn't just think Spike was cute, did he? The asshole had put him through some annoying shit...

He looked at the fidgeting vampire, who looked back at him like a deer in headlights.

Big ten-four on the cute-o-meter, good buddy.

Xander pushed his empty glass back and forth with one finger. Willow stared from boy to vampire and back.

Oz blinked, his band mates having already disappeared into the belly of the club with some very dedicated groupies.


Spike looked away from Xander to Willow. "Er, yeah?"

"You're acting all...funny. Something wrong? Like the new hair, by the way. Is that brown your natural colour? Of course it is, you can't dye it when it's that short, can you?"

Spike quirked an eyebrow and took a deep breath as he settled in one of the empty seats at the table. "Platinum blond's not really natural, Red. Short and curlies are a bit darker than what's up top at the moment but it's closer than the other was. So, yes, this would be my natural colour."

Willow wrinkled her nose and Oz patted her.

Xander's nostrils flared. He stuck his nose into his glass and tried to hide.

"Xander, did you ever talk to Spike about--"

Xander's eyes widened and he spluttered. Soda sprayed across the table and he choked. "Uh, no, Willow." He glared, coughing. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Talk to me about what?"

"Xander said you were acting weird and asked me the other day if I knew why. I told him to just ask you. Why are you acting weird and changing your appearance and stuff? Weren't you in a big seventies rut with the hair thing? It's very Billy Idol-ish..."

"I did not steal my sodding look from him! Was the other way around!" Spike was tense. He swallowed, then carefully set his drink down and stood up. "I think I'll get out of your...hair."

He left the table and two confused people stared after him, the third examining the other two with amused green eyes beneath pale red eyebrows and purple-spiked hair.

Oz watched Spike blandly, then said, "He's wound too tight. Needs to mellow out a little." He paused, then flicked a glance at Xander. "I hate to be the one to say this but you obviously can't see it."

"See what?" Willow asked, turning around to look at purple-haired Oz.

Oz shrugged, picked up his drink and swirled it around. "Spike's got a crush on you."

"Wh-what?" Xander practically shrieked.

Willow's mouth fell open. "Huh? What are you talking about? Spike so does not!" She thought for a moment, then with a little less certainty, "Does he?"

Xander gulped. "He doesn't. I'd know if he did. I don't even think so. Spike crushing on me?" He snorted and chuckled weakly. "That's a laugh. And on that good note I'll leave you two to your...whatever it is you're going to do and go home and lock myself in my room. Hopefully we can all forget this ever happened and go on with our lives. Denial is a good thing." He stood up. "Bye, Wills, Oz."

"Umm...it could be true..." Willow trailed off, thinking.

Xander shook his head and denied vehemently, "It's not!"

Willow backed down, suddenly fighting amusement. "Okay, okay. It's not true. But if it was..."

Xander's shoulders slumped. "If it was? I think I'd be screwed."

Oz's lips curled. "Probably literally."

Xander groaned. "It's always the quiet ones."


When Xander got home all was quiet. The apartment was dark and silent as a tomb. There was no amorous vampire waiting to attack him when he got inside.

It was just as well. He was too tired to fend off said vampire if he did try anything.

Not that Spike would.

But if he did...

Xander shuddered, trying to stomp and kill the little flame of arousal that tingled low in his belly.

He wasn't going to think about this now.

He had other things on his mind.

He put on his pajamas and crawled into bed, curling under the covers so deeply that only his eyes were visible. He blinked in the darkness.

Okay, if Spike -- and that was a big if -- liked him...that way, what would he do about it?

Why would Oz think such a fucked up thing anyway? Why would Willow agree with him?

Xander sighed and shut his eyes.

He needed sleep.


He called in sick to work the next day. He had sick days to burn since he never used them, anyway.

Only thing about calling in sick was that he had to stay home -- it wasn't as if he had anything else to do in a small town like Sunnydale with no other friends than the ones ignoring him and...Spike. Staying at home meant that he was trapped with a vampire who might possibly like him.

Being stuck at home with a horny vampire didn't really seem like such a bad thing...

But it wasn't true!

But if it was...

Xander could almost feel that bristly pelt of hair against his skin, under his hand, between his thighs as Spike--

Wait a minute!

Spike had undergone a sudden, drastic change of appearance just a couple of weeks after Xander had mentioned that stuff about James Marsters and shaved heads...

He snorted to himself.

That couldn't possibly be why Spike--


He blinked, hitched the blankets higher and groaned.

It could be true. Possibly. Maybe.

Small chance of that, really.

The thought of Spike wanting to alter his appearance to gain Xander's favour and attention specifically...

Xander found his hand creeping into his boxers and snaking around swelling flesh.

As he jerked off to images of Spike and his new hair style and possible ways of the vampire pleasing him, he writhed and bucked and moaned and came so hard he thought he saw the baby Jesus.


Okay, he was going to do this. He really was.

He was going to get down to the bottom of Spike's strange behaviour.

He was going to go insane otherwise.

Possibly completely rub the top layer of skin off his dick too.

He shook himself, breathed deeply in and out, forced back the panic attack that threatened to escape and stepped out of his bedroom.

He looked around and Spike wasn't out there. The door to his bedroom was shut, though, so he was in the apartment. No big surprise, since it was one p.m.

He sighed loudly and went to the kitchen for some milk. He channel surfed for a while, finished up his cow juice, then licked his lips nervously.

He wiped his sweaty palms on his boxers and decided he should go brush his teeth. Milk breath didn't taste good and he could imagine how it might smell.

Not that he was thinking of anything but hygiene!

After that was done he found himself at Spike's closed door feeling like he was going to pass out.

It was stupid. He was there to get to the bottom of the whole Spike being weird thing and possibly figure out some things about himself.

Ugh, just get it over with already, you dipshit.

He opened the door sneakily, peered around it in the darkness, blinked when he saw dim light coming from Spike's closet.

The closet light was on? Another weird thing.

Stupid, weird, sexy, shorn vampire.

He stepped inside and navigated around piles of clothing and empty cigarette packages and lighters and matches...was that a fast food bag?

He really had to give Spike some hell for leaving the place such a pig pen. They were lucky they hadn't been carried away by rats or cockroaches or ants.

He could see Spike's bed, a body molded by the sheet draped over him. He swallowed and moved closer.

He could just make out some skin in the dim light, pale and smooth.

Oh, boy.

He crept closer to the bed and ended up staring down at the vampire lying face down on the mattress with only a sheet covering him. He could make out every line of Spike's body and nothing else hindered the sheet's drape.

Spike was naked.

He couldn't stop himself from kneeling at the side of the bed closest to Spike's unconscious body. Spike was on his stomach facing away, which made Xander's uninterrupted ogling easier. He didn't have to worry about finding blue eyes open, judging him as he stared at Spike.

So, he looked his fill. Started with the skin at the edge of the sheet across his waist, skimmed his back, his shoulders, his neck, then reached his ultimate goal: Spike's shaved head.

He didn't know why he was so fascinated by shaved scalps. With most people it was legs, tits, ass, chest, arms...but since he'd had naughty thoughts about other guys he'd found himself drawn to the ones with shorn hair.

Though, Spike's other attributes were very nice indeed.

He sighed softly and bit his lip. With a shaking hand he reached up and slowly started to put his hand on Spike's head so that he could feel the prickly little hairs.

Spike shifted, moved, and Xander nearly fell over himself trying to snatch his hand away quickly enough so that if Spike turned over, if the vampire was awake and saw him, he wouldn't know Xander had been trying to fondle him in his sleep.

But Spike didn't turn over. He merely stretched his body taut and made Xander's night. The sheet drifted down to the lower swell of Spike's buttocks, revealing the nice ass Spike had said was better than any Xander had seen.

Spike had been right.

Xander blinked and fought an internal battle. He found himself torn between the fuzzy head or Spike's supple ass.

He'd come a long way since Spike had changed his hair. He was now officially ogling Spike's naked ass.

And what an ass it was. Perfectly shaped, smooth and as unhairy and uncottage-cheesy as an ass could be -- he had to work out. Muscular and just the right size for each of Xander's palms to grab hold of and squeeze. They were twitching.

They were twitching?

Xander blinked at the clenching muscles, frowning.

Why would they be doing that if Spike was asleep?

He turned his head quickly and met the amused blue eyes he'd been trying to avoid.

Well, crap.

"Well, well, well, pet," Spike practically purred as he shifted and turned slightly onto his side. Acres of skin and some dark hair...his thigh hid his cock from Xander's gaze, which really was a pity when Xander thought about it. "Copping a look of my not inconsiderable goods, are you? Right naughty of you to do so when I'm sleeping. Could've just woke me up. I'd've given you a show if that's what you wanted..."

Xander's mouth dried up and he fell backward away from the tempting vampire onto his backside and crab-walked across the room over piles of random stuff until he hit a wall.

Spike watched him with amusement, sitting up and allowing even more of himself to be seen.

He was so damn pretty. Very smooth-skinned and proportioned nicely for a man of his size.

Xander whimpered, wondered what the hell he was doing in here because he'd already forgotten and stayed huddled against the wall, aroused and confused, until an imaginary light bulb went off over his head and he was suddenly no longer as nervous as he'd been.

"Spike, you can quit with the seductive crap. I came in here for a reason before I got all...distracted."

Spike smirked and laid down on his back. He crossed his arms behind his head and wiggled a little. The sheet was nowhere near his groin and Xander very pointedly didn't look.

Okay, he sneaked a peek but then it was all business from there.

"Why'd you really shave your head? I want the real answer and I don't want any distracting double-talk and changing of subjects. And you're all..." He waved a hand, "...naked, so you can't leave this time, either."

Spike looked at him for a moment, then sighed and pulled the sheet up over his body. He reached for his cigarettes and lighter and inhaled a lot of toxic, smelly smoke and stared at the cherry end of his fag for a while.

"Look, I told you. I was drunk and it was a split second decision because, you know, the bloody drunken bit. Leave off, will you?"

Xander snorted, confidence growing as he saw Spike's fail. He scuttled out of his position and knee walked closer to the bed. He settled back on his heels. "You did it because I told you I liked it, didn't you? You saw me admiring James Marsters' fine ass with his beautifully shaped shaved head and you, what? Thought it'd be funny to play with my little..."

"What? Your obsession with that pasty little ponce? And he doesn't even have the excuse of being a vampire or English, does he? He's just a bloody pale git."

Xander was brought up short by the sullen pout and the obvious jealousy in Spike's voice.

"You're jealous!"

Spike rubbed his cigarette out in the ash tray beside the lamp with more force than was necessary and shook his head vehemently. "Am not! I don't have a ruddy thing to be jealous over! He's not worth my time or yours, you stupid twat!"

An eyebrow arched as Xander grinned. "Not worth my time? He's gorgeous, Spike. The prettiest man I've ever seen. Wouldn't mind him showing me what he can do with those luscious hips of his. Bet he'd make losing my virginity well worth it."

Spike snarled and flew out of the bed and onto Xander, knocking them both on the floor amidst a sea of dirty and crumpled clothing.

Xander blinked wide-eyed up at the irate vampire and then grinned. "You're jea-lous."

Spike moistened his lips and glared down at the boy. "You're enjoying this." He sank back to sit on Xander's lower stomach and his grip loosened on Xander's wrists. "You tricked me."

"Well, yeah." Xander lowered his gaze and his cheeks flushed as he noticed what exactly was resting on his stomach: Spike's aroused cock.

He flushed harder, felt like his skin was on too tight, when he saw the cock twitch and ooze a little precum onto his t-shirt.

"Flushing and attractive you are. Crimson cheeks and sparkling chocolate eyes."

Xander gaped.

Spike suddenly became shy and sat back. "Deep and beautiful."

Xander's embarrassment faded in favour of awe and something that felt like the tugging of his heart strings. "Your sappiness is showing, Spike."

Spike scowled, then pouted and crossed his arms over his chest. "Sod off."

"Ah, now there's the Spike I know and love."

"Is that right?"

Xander blinked. "Not really, no."

Spike pouted. "You're a mean little boy."

"Not really a little boy anymore, Spike. Get off me."

"Rather get you off," Spike growled leaning forward to brace himself over Xander's face with either hand.

Xander swallowed. "Get off me and get on the bed. The floor's hard."

"So am I," Spike said, leaning in closer and rolling his hips into Xander's.

Xander groaned, shut his eyes and then Spike's lips touched his.

He raised his hands. One sought the supple skin of the vampire's back and migrated south to squeeze one of the incredible buttocks he'd been drooling over earlier and the other...

...the other hand went straight for Spike's scalp where he indulged himself in the act he'd wanted to commit since Spike had shown up with all his hair gone.

He moaned and massaged Spike's head.

The vampire pulled his mouth away and stared at him. "You know...that's not bad. May have to keep my hair like this for a bit."

"Can we use the bed? This bed, my bed, I don't care. The floor is hurting my ass."

Spike grinned and got off Xander, pulling the boy up and shoving him bodily onto the bed. He crawled up his body and settled astride him, connecting them from groin to chest. He rubbed against Xander's body, delighting in the feel of hard flesh covered by cotton touching his own naked skin.

When they were equally naked and Spike had found a rhythm that was pleasing to them both, thrusting down as Xander thrust up, Xander thought of something very interesting as the slip glide of wet cocks slid along heated flesh.


"Mmmm?" Spike panted in his ear, rolling his hips.

Xander gasped, clutching at the vampire's back. "Umm...do you think you could, uh, shave the rest of you? Specifically, your pubes?"

Spike thrust once more and then froze, lifted his head and stared down at Xander with a bemused expression on his face. "You want me to get rid of my short and curlies? Dirty, dirty boy. You're just full of delicious, naughty secrets, aren't you?"

Xander flushed and clamped both hands on Spike's ass, urging him to begin moving again. "You don't know the half of it, buddy."

Spike grinned, leaned forward and fixed their lips together. He thrust his tongue into Xander's mouth and began rolling his pelvis again. "Perhaps we can have a little mutual kinky shaving fun...I'll let you shave me if you let me do you..."

Xander froze and came beneath him in a splashy production that left him wheezing and panting and cross-eyed. He focused his eyes on Spike once the fireworks quit going off behind them. "I think that's a really good plan."

He reached between them, wrapped his hand around Spike's cock and rubbed his thumb over the head.

Spike shuddered, thrust only twice more and came between their bodies.

Xander swirled a finger through the mixture of cum and brought it first to his lips, then to Spike's. He groaned as the vampire sucked his finger, hard, good suction that got the interest of his spent cock.

He laughed as Spike slid off him and cuddled into his side. The cum dried and began to itch.

"What are you laughing about? I don't see anything remotely amusing," Spike mumbled into his shoulder.

Xander sighed. "I was just thinking...it was really...fucked up that you changed your appearance to get my attention. I mean, it worked...but, what if it hadn't?"

Spike lay there a while, then, "Don't really know. Wasn't thinking that far ahead. Chasing off your dates and wheedling my way into your crap social life was difficult enough, earning your trust and a place to hang my duster was too, but getting some prime information about your little hot button kink? That was damned hard. Didn't know how to go about it then that bloody film came on and I caught you at the right moment. I wasn't really thinking when I got my hair shorn off. Really was drunk at the time but I knew what I wanted. Just decided to give it a go. If it didn't work..." Spike shrugged against him. "Don't know. Didn't really give it much thought one way or the other. Didn't even have another plan set up for if it did fail. But it didn't, so..."

Xander snorted. "You've been stalking me, scaring away potential lovers, shoving yourself into my life and changing yourself to meet my own personal physical specifications? You must lurrrrrrrrrrve me...or just be really fucking insane out the membrane."

Spike stiffened.

"Tell me you don't. I'll give you the first born son I'll never have to tell me you don't."

Spike shifted a little. "Well...technically? No. Not yet. You're just so damned...charismatic, you wanker. Couldn't help but like you once I got over the really shit taste in clothing, music, telly...well, everything annoying about you."

Xander rolled his eyes. He pushed Spike off him and got out of bed.

The vampire looked up at him, suddenly young and wary and almost frightened.

"We need a shower. Dried cum itches and pulls hairs."

Spike's face was full of relief and lust as he crawled out of bed and followed Xander into the bathroom.

"You know, Spike," Xander said, as Spike took it upon himself to lather and bathe Xander from top to bottom.

"What's that, pet?" Spike said, tucking his tongue between his teeth and taking great care to wash every inch of Xander thoroughly.

Xander's cock twitched and filled and rose between them.

Spike grinned and dropped to his knees, washed the poor, straining organ and finally stood up and backed Xander into the shower wall. He rubbed their slippery bodies together and kissed Xander.

Xander panted. "What was I saying?"

"No fucking clue. Do me?" Spike asked, turning around after offering Xander the soap.

Xander washed him silently. "Oh! I remember. I was about to comment on how nice it'll be to get all that crap in your room cleaned up. I mean, we're going to be fucking like crazed weasels on crack, right? You gotta clean up your shit so we don't drown in dirty clothes and food wrappers and stuff. There could be mold. Whole new civilizations of spore-y mold growing and cultivating their own crops as we speak. It's gross to think that we live here like this."

Spike snorted, arching as Xander's soapy palm massaged the small of his back, then the cleft of his ass. "Think you're deluding yourself. Just 'cause we're shagging don't mean I'm doing any cleaning."

Xander sighed as he bent down and washed Spike's calves. With an evil gleam in his eyes, he leaned in and licked Spike's puckered entrance.

Spike nearly jumped out of the shower.

Xander laughed as Spike whirled around and hefted him to his feet and shoved him against the wall again.

"Bloody hell, you've got a tongue on you. Can't wait to explore its other talents."

"You still not going to help me keep this place relatively clean?"

Spike nibbled his jaw, his ear lobe, his neck. He chuckled. "Hell no. I'm a sodding vampire, not a maid."

"You're such a bastard," he gasped, one hand automatically sliding up to settle on Spike's fuzzy head.

Here Endeth the Story

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