Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer / Angel the Series
Author: eyezrthewindows
Rating: PG-ish
Characters: Xander/Spike
Warnings: Umm. Groping and kissing without express permission but he starts to like after a while.
Summary: Human AU. Xander's at the mall minding his own business when someone comes along and just...totally rocks his world.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything that Mutant Enemy or Joss Whedon or any of those uber rich people came up with on the show, especially because I don't make money off any of what I write. I weep for the injustice of it all. *delicate crystalline tear* But, I do enjoy playing with Spike and his various shagging partners. However, anything I do happen to come up with on my own is mine and I really don't like to share because I'm a possessive bitch.
Betaed: [info]kitty_poker1

Really Not Bad


Xander didn't go to the mall much, mostly because he never had money to spend. Other reasons were that he hated seeing all the popular people from school milling around watching for kids lower on the school totem pole to screw with without the threat of school punishment over their heads (Xander was one of the poor unfortunates they screwed with if he didn't plan evasive maneuvers) and because there were just so damn many people that it made him nervous.

The mall, in Xander's opinion, sucked. He couldn't care less about going there to shop. Wal-Mart was all right with him; hell, even the fucking Goodwill was okay with him, as long as he got out of there quickly enough because it kind of smelled funny and made him itch.

But his mom had given him a hundred dollars for school clothes this time. She got him to swear on his stack of vintage comics that he'd actually spend it on clothes and not try to pass off his old stuff as new as he secretly played new videogames or read new comic books he'd bought instead. He was hitting the sales that had cropped up because of the holiday weekend, having a gloomy old time skulking around to ensure he didn't see anyone he knew.

So far he'd gotten a pair of shoes, three pairs of jeans, six shirts and a few packs of underwear and socks for just over fifty. In one store.

He was a very thrifty shopper. Took a lot energy reserves but he managed it.

He really wanted a Slushie now, though. Maybe some french fries or ice cream. Something to fill the howling abyss that his stomach currently thought it was.

And, God, did his feet hurt. The pain radiated up through his calves and back, settled in his shoulders. The bags he carried were starting to feel as if they weighed a ton.

A loud argument between two men somehow surpassed the sounds of the excited crowd, mall music and mechanical creaks as the elevators and escalators took passengers to other floors; he tried to listen, being the nosy kind, but couldn't work out any specific words so he figured he was better off heading to the next store and staying out of it.

His bags swung from his hand as he walked, heavy and brimming with his successful bargain hunting, and he surveyed the lay of the mall for more super savings when all of a sudden someone bumped into him and kept bumping until he was herded into a short hallway that led to a fire exit.

A place that was perfectly dim and private to anyone who wanted to... Well, Xander's mind went rampant with images of him being molested or beaten up just feet away from an oblivious, uncaring and cheerfully shopping crowd.

"Hey!" he started, indignant, but lips were pressing against his, and so was a firm body, and he forgot all about what he was going to say. Didn't even feel his head bang against the wall.

Dropped his shopping bags, too.

He couldn't help but shut his eyes, gasp and clutch onto the other person's clothes. His mouth was plundered after some angling and finagling was done and he could only give back as good as he got because it was an impulse he couldn't seem to ignore.

Why would he not kiss this person back? It wasn't as if he got kissed a lot so he was going to enjoy it while it lasted, especially considering how good it was turning out to be.

It was one hell of a first kiss. He couldn't stop himself from making these needy little desperate sounds in the back of his throat. He got all tingly and mildly aroused just from this kiss.

And then he started noticing things. Other things.

Like the well muscled thigh that wedged itself between his own and the groin that bulged and rubbed against his leg as the other person's body sandwiched his into the wall. The lips moving against his were firm and slightly chapped (which really wasn't any deterrent under the circumstances), with a full lower lip and a thin upper one that wasn't as soft and gentle as Xander was slowly getting used to. The hands that held him against the wall were big and long fingered and strong. Shoulders were wide and the waist was narrow, hips non-existent. The body was firm and muscled, flat-chested and hot.

The moans were low and deep and masculine. He could feel the vibrations with his fingers as his hand wandered up from a broad shoulder to a slightly stubbled jaw.

Peripherally, he was aware of someone standing at the entrance to their little make-out tunnel but he couldn't make himself care because this kiss was better than just about anything ever.

He hadn't had that much experience in the kissing department, really. Just that Seven Minutes in Heaven thing at a party once when the girl was obligated to go into that closet with him because she'd have been shunned if she hadn't and that was the rule of the game.

He'd never forget the look of disgust and resignation on her face as she'd stood up, smoothed out her expensive looking skirt and marched to the closet like it was the entrance to a firing squad.

He watched the back of her smooth, tanned legs, heart in his throat as the other teenagers laughed and pointed and whispered.

He surprised her, though, and they ended up making out for well over the seven minute mark. They'd had to be forcibly ejected from that tiny coat closet -- the other players of the game open-mouthed with shock and admiration for Xander, which actually did very little for his popularity in the end, despite everything -- and to this day Cordelia Chase wouldn't look him in the eye but she didn't insult him anymore. She had yet to acknowledge his presence despite their intimate knowledge of each other's mouths.

He might've been beneath her but he still had bragging rights. Nothing on earth came close to equaling being able to tell people he'd made out with Cordy and she'd liked it so much she was all over him and grinding her crotch into his knee until she was near orgasm.

Though he hadn't gotten to tell anyone because he wasn't a kiss and tell kind of guy.

No one outside of that small group of people would've believed, anyway, because they all chalked it up to shared alcoholic hallucination, choosing to forget all about it and ignore Xander.

A surprisingly soft set of fingers pushed underneath his shirt and caressed his flesh. Goosebumps rose and he shivered. The muscles in his stomach clenched as they were grazed with a fingernail.

With a last nibble at his bottom lip, heavy suction that he felt in his groin, the man pulled away and suddenly Xander was blinking and staring into the eyes of the guy who'd pretty much been ignoring him for the last five years.

William Sutton -- otherwise known as Spike -- unless you wanted him to hand your ass back to you after he stomped on it with his massive, heavy combat boots.

He liked his ass where it was, boot print free and unstomped.

He swallowed hard and licked his swollen lips, wondering if he should be afraid Spike was going to do the ass handing thing.

Cornflower blue eyes followed the movement before Spike was stepping back and adjusting things in the front of his pants.

Spike got hard kissing him?

He had to be delusional or dreaming or something.

Not that he dreamed about Spike. Well, other than the odd nightmare where Spike tortured him or got others to do it in front of the whole school kind of thing.

He wished he was cool enough to adjust things in public the way Spike was. He'd just look like he had jock itch or something.


The tall man playing the voyeur scowled, making Xander jump as he flicked a wary glance at him.

Spike glared at the man, then his eyebrow quirked and he curled his lips, those sweet, sweet, agile lips. His hip cocked as he planted a hand on it. "See, Angel? I told you I wasn't lying. This is my new boyfriend and you better stay away if you know what's good for you. I don't cheat and you know that. So piss off, git."



Or maybe he had a concussion and was knocked unconscious in an alley somewhere. Those coma dreams were really realistic, weren't they?

He hoped his attacker hadn't stripped him naked or done lewd things to his unconscious body.

He hoped his hospital room was nice and his roommate wasn't a perv.

He opened his mouth but Spike must've seen the movement from the corner of his eyes for he whirled around and shoved his tongue inside again.

Not that Xander minded, exactly. He was going with the flow and getting his tongue sucked in a way that was very nice and made his body respond in ways he hadn't known were possible.

Spike slung an arm around his neck when he pulled away and leaned into him, nuzzled his cheek a moment, then pointedly stared at Angel as if daring the other man to challenge his claim.

Damn, Spike smelled good. Xander had to stop himself from turning into Spike and sniffing his skin.

Angel's mouth settled into a really thin line and almost disappeared. "You're going to regret this, Spike. You know you can't stay away from me. We're too good together for you to throw it away over this little high school asshole. You'll come crawling back when you get tired of him. You always do."

Somehow, Xander felt he should be insulted but he just couldn't give a tinker's damn. Being wrapped in leather clad arms with a hard body pressed against him was... Well, it was good.

Spike scoffed in Xander's ear. "Get out of here, wanker. Been telling you for weeks that I don't want you and you just keep stalking me. It's not very attractive to keep going after someone who doesn't want you, you know. Just makes you look desperate and pathetic. Also, a bit creepy."

Angel growled at them both, then narrowed his eyes at Xander and huffed when he finally left.

Spike let go and peeked around the corner in the direction Angel had gone. His shoulders slumped as he relaxed and sighed with relief as he turned back to Xander.

Xander cleared his throat and absently rubbed his back, where Spike had caressed him. It tingled for some reason. "Wh-what was that for?"

Spike waved a hand, rolling his eyes. "Oh, right. An explanation'd be nice, wouldn't it?"

"Yeah, kind of," Xander said sarcastically as he stayed propped against the wall with his knees locked.

Didn't want to appear even more uncool than he was by sliding to the floor in a puddle of Xander goo or just toppling over onto his well kissed face, did he?

Spike ran a hand through platinum hair, making it stick up all over, and reached into his pocket. He popped some gum into his mouth and began chewing vigorously.

"See, here's the thing. Saw you and remembered you so I... Well, you're a sort of..." Spike looked thoughtful for a moment, jaw working, "...a cover. A distraction, like. As you could tell, my ex won't get it into his thick skull that I don't want him anymore and he's been bloody stalking me. Told him to get lost more times than I can count. Even told him I'd call the cops but he won't listen. Maybe if he thinks I've got someone else that'll make him quit being so fucking annoying and leave me be. Think he's a bit unhinged. Wouldn't have got involved with him at all if I'd known that about him in the beginning. Well, probably."

And the big scary Neanderthal called Angel would probably be stalking him, now, because of Spike.


Of course. The only way someone like Spike would kiss someone like Xander was to play pretend.

Well, at least Xander had gotten a memory he could replay again and again, along with the one that involved Cordelia .

Though, Spike's kiss kind of threw him through a loop and now he was thinking of boys in a sexy way.

Frankly, it wasn't really that new but it got him to thinking about Spike in a particularly erotic way when he'd been telling himself for years that the guy was way out of his league and didn't know he existed anyway.

Spike was too hot and too good for him and didn't even look at guys like Xander twice unless he was beating the crap out of them for fun.

Spike was the ultimate bad boy.

Maybe that's why he was so hot.

What had just happened would make pushing Spike thoughts out of his mind nearly impossible now, though.

Xander was probably bisexual, leaning towards gay, given how much thought he actually put into Spike and the effort it took to jerk off while fantasizing about him. Or should he say what little effort it took to think about Spike while he did dirty things to himself?

He was very, very gay, he amended, giving Spike what he thought was a very discreet once-over, which Spike smirked at and preened for with a thumb tucked into his belt over his groin to draw even more attention to the swollen area.

Like Spike's dick wasn't prominent and eye-catching all on its own.

So much for discreetly checking Spike out.

"Anyway, thanks for that," Spike said, grinning, smacking his gum, wiggling his fingers.

Xander's mouth opened and closed but he couldn't really think of anything to say so he just shut it again. He picked up his bags and started to leave the recesses of the hallway when Spike grabbed his arm and swung him around into the wall again.


And then Spike kissed him again and he was barely holding onto his bags because his fingers wanted to let loose and latch onto Spike instead and keep their bodies pressed together for as long as possible. Lots of tongue and grinding and a quick grope to his ass that made him squeal and then he was being let go.

"You're surprising. I'd've figured you for sloppy and inexperienced but... Really not bad." Spike's tongue curled behind his teeth. "Hey, you have English with me, don't you?"

Xander blinked at the non sequitur. "Umm...yeah."

Probably, he did. He couldn't quite remember his whole name at the moment, much less his school schedule.

"See you in class, Harris. And let me know if you need anything, eh? I owe you one."

Spike gave Xander a scorching once-over then winked and was gone in a swirl of black leather and denim, whistling jauntily.

Xander could only drop one of his bags and hold a hand to his tingling lips as Spike disappeared.

He stayed there for several minutes with his knees wobbling. Long enough to see Spike stalk by on the opposite side of the second floor balcony with some of his weird looking mixture of goth and jock friends and catch his breath and composure.

He took his bags and figured he had enough for today. The sale went all weekend and he still had money.

He squared his shoulders, stepped out of the alcove and snapped Spike's gum as he headed toward the nearest exit to find his mom's car. It was about time to meet her anyway.

He needed a few minutes to get himself back to normal. He knew if she looked at him right now she'd probably see the words 'I've been making out with a hot boy and I liked it' tattooed on his forehead.

He couldn't believe Spike knew his name was all he could think the remainder of his stroll through the mall.


When he went back to school Tuesday he didn't really expect Spike's opinion of him to change just because of a couple of really good (see: fucking awesome!) kisses but when he got to English class Spike's regular seat was empty and the blond was sitting at the same table he usually did.

He blinked and somehow made it to the table, dropped his book and folder down, pulled out his chair and practically fell into it. He scooted the chair forward and hunched over the table top.

Glancing over at Spike proved to be a mistake and the best thing ever all at the same time.

Spike was sprawled in his chair, legs wide apart, pretty pink lips open, tongue curled behind blinding white teeth and he was leering at Xander.

One black-tipped finger rode up the inseam of his own jeans and stopped dangerously close to his groin. Fingers tapped and then when Xander shifted in his seat, eyes glued to Spike's crotch, the hand shifted over to Xander's thigh in a move so smooth and slick Xander would never have noticed if he weren't experiencing it for himself.

It sat there for a while and then began stroking as the teacher began droning on about how to read poetry properly and what made a good poem.

As the teacher assigned homework -- writing a poem about something you liked; Xander could give a few examples of that right now -- Spike's hand inched around to his back and pushed down into the edge of his jeans, just resting there seemingly innocuously.

Oh, crap. Now, he'd never be able to listen in class. Failing and having to repeat didn't appeal to him at all and that was the way it was looking if Spike kept this up.

At least he was sitting in the very back, though. Lots of interesting things always happened in the back.

Like Spike groping him.

Who cared about class, anyway, when Spike's warm fingertips were edging down into his pants? He talked good enough, anyway.

Here Endeth the Story

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